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luciancahil Archive

View 4 posts and 44 comments by luciancahil on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

I know some people get into red pill after already being in a relationship. But there are also people who got into a relationship with someone because red pill tactics work. Like this lady: https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1m4pqeo/i_suffered_the_receiving_end_of_dating_a_red_pill/ Do you think she was lying?
/r/ExRedPill17/02/26 11:11 PM
1

Maybe you're right. Generally, most women who reject guys prefer to be left alone by them IME. However, perhaps some (or even many) women don't think that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:07 AM
1

My EXACT point. Kind men often get mistaken for "nice guys". It's really hard to convince a woman you aren't a "nice guy" once she thinks you are one, so the easiest way is to make sure she doesn't think you are one by being less kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 06:41 AM
4

I think a lot of people relate to that feeling, yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 07:30 AM
2

It really isn’t. Most human trafficking victims get trafficked by their romantic partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 04:53 AM
2

More importantly, it’s a distinction women often fail to see. If you are a kind person, women will often mistake you as nice, because externally, those two traits look very similar, and because there are way more nice men than kind men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 01:58 AM
1

I agree that "It’s up to the woman to learn what to look for, plenty of women are bad at it, especially if they’re undersocialized and/or don’t have close friends or relatives to look out for them." (How are you doing that quote thing anyway?). I'm saying one specific way women can be bad at it is by mistaking genuine kindness for manipulation. And I'm also saying this is completely reasonable. Most guys who are super kind and giving right off the bat ARE trying to manipulate her. It's just a sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 01:35 AM
1

Awesome, thanks a bunch! Best wishes!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 01:26 AM
1

Correct. Kindness can't compensate for a lack of kindness. (Edit: Meant kindness can't compensate for a lack of hotness). However, (and the main point I wanted to make), excessive kindness can and will kill attraction, even if you're hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 01:24 AM
1

Okay, so it seems like we mostly agree. Don't be so kind, people think it's disingenuous. For certain types of people (like me), sincere kindness can be misread as disingenuous, and so people like me need to restrain even sincere kindness a bit. Thanks a lot! One last question, was he into sports like you?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 01:19 AM
1

I mean this as respectfully as I can. You actually are a pushover who isn't capable of drawing boundaries. At least, you used to be. My problem is that, despite the fact that I can draw boundaries just fine, my kindness gets me confused for people like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 01:16 AM
1

Hmmm. Maybe he struck a good balance then? Be empathetic and helpful, but don't treat girls like princesses. More or less what I'm saying in this post.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 01:13 AM
1

Reputation, ala friends through his sporting community? Did he ever use dating apps?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 01:10 AM
3

I'd do it for anyone I care about, too, including my male friends I'd never date. Whatever the difference between us is, it isn't this. Maybe my theory is wrong then. Maybe being attractive enough to get lots of girls attracted to you is what matters, and "niceness" doesn't actually hamper or benefit you either way...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 01:09 AM
1

<image> First of all, no, it's not the gold standard; less than 10% of relationships start this way. Second of all, (related to the first), okay great, rely on mutual friends/interactions whenever possible. Sometimes, it isn't possible, and some women still make judgments like that based ONLY on how he treats her. I know that things like anger and bad-mouthing exes can kill attraction. I'm saying being too nice can ALSO do that. Third, sorry, I didn't know lying about rejection reasons was a big…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 01:06 AM
1

Okay, so he can keep girls as well, not just initially attract them. Good to note. But didn't you say he "had girls waiting in his room"? Did he meet most of them through college family friends? No dating apps?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 01:02 AM
2

Because I have done that exact thing (bring someone soup when they're sick), and it NEVER ends with that person being attracted to me. Wonder how he and I differ.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 01:00 AM
1

That shocks me. Holy cow.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:58 AM
1

No, wait. Was he a sports person like you? Maybe if you already have "I'm not a pushover" credibility, you can get away with being nicer... In any case, you've won this thread. You're going to be living rent-free in my head for a long time. Congratulations.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:58 AM
1

Also, sorry to keep harping on this point, but do those girls stick around? Kindness sometimes doesn't kill initial attraction (although it can); it usually manifests with a guy being rejected somewhere down the line. Edit: Nope, this theory's trash.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:55 AM
1

Oh and also, where did he typically meet these girls?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:51 AM
1

Okay, that surprises me. I thought being too nice would be a death knell for attraction. The only thing I'd question is, what kind of nice? Empathetic (always remembers what's bothering you and asks about it) or helpful (always tries to help solve your problems)? Edit: I fully believe that being empathetic is almost always good, but being too helpful can sabotage you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:50 AM
1

Okay, to your first point, no. A lot of the time, people meet on dating apps or in situations where you have NO mutual friends. Other than obvious red flags, like being an asshole to the waiter, there's often zero other interactions a woman sees from a guy to go off of. Doesn't stop a lot of them from writing a guy off as "trying to get something from me". 2nd point, yeah, that happens. Not sure how that adds to the discussion, though (sometimes people lie about why they reject you. Yeah, everyo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:47 AM
2

Translation: If you're too nice to women, a lot of them will assume out of caution that you're just trying to get something from her, even if you aren't. Good point! Someone should have made it: <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:33 AM
4

Oh, and also an amazing point. NEVER say "what do you want to do" when planning a date. Politely suggest an activity first. Most women don't like planning dates, and the ones who do will just say no to your idea and then suggest hers.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:32 AM
2

That's true, but different from what I'm talking about. If all anyone has to offer is "nice", they aren't getting anywhere. However, being too nice will still sabotage your chances, EVEN if you do have other things to offer.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:25 AM
3

Oh yeah, those guys exist, and they suck. The problem is, by being too kind to a girl, you risk her mistaking you for one of these guys, even if you aren't one.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:17 AM
1

It's really not just in my mind. I've seen it happen irl.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:13 AM
4

What does your example have to do with niceness? Most people I know with ANY personality will be a bit awkward when asking for a first date.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:11 AM
2

Very good point, and a reason to be less nice. Often, leaving space for *her* to do nice things to you will help out the early stages of a relationship, way more than helping her out too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:08 AM
4

Eh, you're kind of right. If you're unattractive, your niceness doesn't matter. However, if you ARE attractive, being too kind can kill initial physical attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:05 AM
1

Well yes. But also, it's on me to be less nice. Oftentimes, a woman will write you off if she sees you as weak / too nice, and not even give you a chance to draw a boundary.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:04 AM
5

I know it isn't weak. I'm saying it often get mistaken as weak. Are you really saying, that nobody has ever had their kindness mistaken for weakness?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:03 AM
8

Awkward around women = Pretending to be nice? Come on dude. You really think it's impossible to be both nice and awkward?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:02 AM
4

Oh, and also: > Unless someone is feeding you, paying you, or having sex with you, you as a human aren't required to do anything for another individual/coworkers/family friend / fellow classmate at all. The problem is that some people (like me) want to do those things. And unfortunately, that can sabotage your romantic prospects, even if you're just naturally a helpful person.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 12:01 AM
-1

I think women can speak for themselves, thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 11:58 PM
0

Women don't typically try to take advantage of weak men (and the ones that do, you want nothing to do with). When a woman sees a man as weak, _she won't be attracted to him_. There's no chance for him to show he isn't a pushover; he's already blown his opportunity.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 11:58 PM
12

That's the problem. A lot of people will get mistaken as doormats, even if they aren't. A "doormat" is someone who can't stand up for themselves. You can't truly tell if someone is a doormat or not until you see someone try to take advantage of them. But a lot of the time, we see people who are naturally kind and eager to help, and assume they are doormats because of it. It's fine if this happens between friends; if a friend thinks I'm a doormat, whatever, that doesn't hurt me in any way. If a s…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 11:56 PM
4

I don't think your problem is "niceness" (or any personality trait). If women aren't attracted to you ever, your problem is your appearance, and no amount of ANYTHING will compensate for a complete lack of physical attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 11:52 PM
1

So you had people try to violate your boundaries, and you had to actively stop them and renegotiate your boundaries?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 11:50 PM
7

How do you know if a guy is pretending before you reject him?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 11:45 PM
4

Really? You've never had someone at work try to pass on extra responsibilities to you, because they thought you'd take it?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 11:43 PM
-4

I know you’re speaking from experience. And your experience tells me that using red pill tactics unfortunately work.
/r/ExRedPill02/11/25 08:24 PM
–

This sub loves talking out of both sides of its mouth. On the one hand, the red pill is inefficient, anybody trying to tell you that it works is lying to you. On the other hand, the red pill is actually incredibly powerful, and has caused multiple women to become completely emotionally dependent on bad men. Pick a lane guys.
/r/ExRedPill02/11/25 05:41 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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