m-A-d_m-a-n Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
0	Wife threatens divorce if I don’t agree to a second child. Agreeing might actually be cheaper than alimony. What would you do? Yep, you hit the nail on the head. Once they hit you with an ultimatum that is either do this big life thing or we’ll get divorced, the marriage is doomed. I went along with more than one major decision including one not dissimilar to OP and it just left me resentful, feeling I was never enough, and always just waiting for the other shoe to drop until it finally did.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/08/26 05:42 AM
3	Wife angry about equitable financial splitting The guidelines are pretty simple once you stop letting your emotions drive your decisions and turn things over to the law. Take everything you’re legally entitled to and don’t look back. Only concede issues where the costs to win exceed the proceeds.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/07/26 09:27 AM
1	You find out who she really is when you're getting divorced One thing I’d push back on is the idea that “you meet the real her during divorce.” Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. Mine hired the same ethically-challenged attorney her mom used for her own divorce that was only finalized a couple years ago, and recently said that she’s realizing now how much I’m just like her narcissistic father, so there’s that. Anyway, what I do know is that once things become adversarial, verbal promises stop meaning much and it may not even be possible for them to negotiate…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/07/26 09:07 AM
2	Should I just tell spouse she's going to be served? I believe there may be more to this story than what you were able to share here, and it sounds like the history of abuse is far more extensive than just these rather serious incidents. I understand why your lawyer doesn’t want you warning her before she is served, especially because there is a real concern she may turn on the children (not just you) when she realizes the divorce is happening. Leaving your 14-year-old alone without her phone or money, telling a child with a history of self-harm t…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/07/26 07:58 AM
7	Mil moving in during divorce A house with four young kids, an unhinged wife, and an equally unhinged MIL sounds like complete insanity. I’d be seriously worried about this escalating into allegations of assault, DV, or child endangerment. When people are shoving cameras in each other’s faces, locking doors, following each other around, and trying to provoke a reaction, eventually someone is going to trip, get bumped, or claim they were shoved. Then you’re dealing with police reports, restraining order requests, and a much b…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/07/26 07:04 AM
1	Just don’t get married! I’m just staying focused on what I got out of the marriage—my son—rather than what I lost. I think there’s a good argument to be made for not getting remarried. Bought the ticket, took the ride, don’t see any reason to do it all over again.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/07/26 06:28 AM
1	How to survive silver bullet divorce I feel outraged for you and your situation as you’ve described it. If you’re searching for a moral victory in this system, I’m not sure you’ll get one but I do truly hope you get justice in the end.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/07/26 05:10 AM
1	Temporary Custody Hearing yesterday I think for now you should accept that you were able to reach an agreement before going into court and it aligns with what is best for your daughters. That seems like a win even if it’s not perfect. Although temporary custody tends to set the baseline for permanent custody, IMO the fact that child support was fully reserved gives a little more room to revisit later. Also when the time comes to set final custody you can use whatever good or bad happens during the 57/43 split in your pleadings for…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/07/26 07:42 AM
1	50/50 Custody Odds 50/50 is the default in California but you are also smart not to leave anything to chance and to ensure you establish yourself as the child-centered father it sounds like you are from the outset. I also have a young son who is two now and had to deal with “winning” 50/50 custody. I voluntarily entered an alcohol treatment program because I had agreed to stay sober before we had our son and I was still drinking occasionally but wanted to stop. She asked me to leave the home when she found me drin…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/07/26 08:06 AM
1	Thinking of ex I’m in a similar spot although I didn’t file, the divorce isn’t finalized, and full no contact is impossible with a two year old son. It’s not what I wanted for our family even though I also see all the ways the relationship kept me trapped in a cycle of shame. The cruel paradox of attachment is that it is often intensified by distance and scarcity. I know for me it makes it easier to hold onto an idealized version of her that doesn’t exist. In fact, the relationship was sort of built on this pa…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/07/26 07:17 AM
1	Aggressive lawyer in her ear, any tips? First of all, don’t take responsibility for things you are no longer responsible for and I’m talking to myself in saying this too. What you can control in this process is very little especially when your STBXW has an aggressive attorney. All you can do is act in alignment with your values and consider how you’d feel if you had to explain how you handled things to your kids when they’re older or how future you would look back at how you showed up. You need a clear parenting plan either stipulated…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/06/26 06:29 AM
1	Is it illegal if my spouse releases my nude pics without my consent? Not legal advice, but I wouldn’t advise putting her on notice unless you have a credible written threat of her intent to release them and even then that may be better ammo than a letter. Without a credible threat, the letter effectively serves as an implied accusation of intent and you become the party introducing the conflict to the situation rather than your STBX. It would be best to inform your attorney of the situation, the specifics of abuse in the relationship, and follow their guidance on…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/06/26 05:31 AM
2	Promotion feels bittersweet during divorce I don’t know what state you’re in but I got raked over the coals by my STBX’s attorney over not disclosing a similar raise soon enough even though it was literally within a month. They actually tried to bring sanctions against me raising this when we had to go back to court because they refused to adjust support as the judge had intended as time share changed over the step up period and my wages were being garnished at a 13% timeshare when it was 50/50. I ended up winning my motion to stay enfor…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/06/26 05:23 AM
2	Ex Wanting Intimacy I needed to read this tonight. Feel exactly like pureextc, but have mostly gotten my shit in order and kept my side of the street clean throughout the separation. We have a young son and I’m still stuck on this fantasy. You’re absolutely right though—she lies, doesn’t want me but does want my money, and didn’t honor her vows. She also lacks the awareness to recognize that this divorce costing way more than the lowball number her attorney first quoted her is purely a product of her own making.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/06/26 02:58 AM