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View 1 posts and 343 comments by macroxela on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Conversationmacroxela/r/seduction07/07/20 07:18 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

I think that's just your experience. I've been with women who were really interested in me initially and with women who took quite some persistence to have something with them. And honestly there wasn't much of a difference between them whether it was something casual or serious. Once you cross that boundary it's like a switch just flips with them. They remain interested in you once you cross the boundary unless you do something very egregious against them.
/r/seduction14/06/26 09:11 PM
1

You diagnosed a problem correctly but gave it a wrong solution for most people. There are plenty of other reasons that people may be tired after work. They could be blue collar workers who are physically tired from heavy physical work and need to recover (construction workers, gas field workers, mechanics). They could be working an intensily mentally demanding job that burns them out (flight controllers, emergency doctors, lawyers). They could be working a very monotonous job from which they can…
/r/seduction12/04/26 08:18 AM
5

Same with me. It's easy to find something casual but I don't want that. And people in my city seem to be averse to any serious relationship unless you maintain a situationship with them for at least a year before even discussing what you are.
/r/seduction18/03/26 06:43 AM
2

Another reason not to do #5, Instagram just announced that they will no longer encrypt private messages. That means it will be much easier for someone else to access and read your messages, particularly during a data breach.
/r/seduction17/03/26 07:52 AM
1

Technically it depends on the style, some are two steps back and one forward. But it's still a fun joke.
/r/seduction16/03/26 10:21 PM
4

At the end you said that the path to a LTR is by bringing them home on the first date. Although that can and does work at times, most people will immediately place you in the casual/hookup category if you do that. So you're shooting yourself in the foot by sleeping together so early on. If you truly want a LTR, try not taking them home so early on. Get to know them first while maintaining flirting to maintain romantic and sexual tension. Don't sleep with them until you have a better idea of who …
/r/seduction15/03/26 12:51 PM
1

Depends on what you want. If you want something long-term, then you do want to take the risk. Because otherwise you will be in a relationship with someone who doesn't like honesty or direct communication which typically leads to unhealthy relationships and more problems. But if it's only for short-term, then it doesn't matter as much.
/r/seduction05/03/26 05:53 AM
27

Eh, it depends. I've actually had more success by asking or saying what I'll do directly instead of going for it.
/r/seduction25/02/26 10:08 PM
2

You're overthinking it. Some women will say something similar to what she said and never follow up. Others will keep their word and text you when they said they would. In my experience, the latter are not as common but always led to good relationships or at least a fun and healthy dating experience. Just keep living your life and don't think about it. If she doesn't text you by the end of next week, you can send her a quick reminder or just move on.
/r/seduction17/01/26 05:17 PM
2

My experience has been the opposite, most women have preferred me asking or telling them before than just going for it.
/r/seduction07/01/26 09:59 PM
21

Depends a lot on the woman and where you are located. I've had a lot more hookups from women asking me to go back to their place and me agreeing than the banter you showed in the 3rd example. You have to read her behavior and decide based on that.
/r/seduction05/01/26 11:52 PM
4

Look up KINO escalation. It explains quite well how to escalate while respecting them.
/r/seduction05/01/26 01:59 PM
2

Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't (in my experience). But I agree that if this happens, best to take your shot and go for it as long as you escalate properly.
/r/seduction05/01/26 08:05 AM
2

I'm demi as well and something I learned is that during the dating process you can connect with them romantically and build a friendship at the same time. They're not mutually exclusive like many people believe. After all, many of the skills needed to make friends overlap with those for dating. This just means that you will need to take it slower in the beginning and make it clear to her about the process. You'd be surprised by how many women prefer the slower process.
/r/seduction22/12/25 07:30 PM
3

By itself it is bad advice because it is too vague. A better version would be "be the best version of yourself". That requires actually working on yourself such as getting some good clothes, cleaning up regularly, learning how to socialize, improving your mental health. Because without at least some of those things, being yourself won't attract anyone. Especially is being yourself means staying a slob or not going outside and talking with people.
/r/seduction24/09/25 04:38 PM
0

Somewhat disagree on saying "let's meet again" right after a date or saying "it felt different" instead of "I had a good time". The former has worked well for me whenever I've said it with confidence but also given her space. Your latter recommendation is too vague and gamey. Much better to be direct and own it. But the premise of your comment about expressing emotions is spot on.
/r/seduction03/09/25 06:21 PM
2

It varies between people though. For me personally, it has been better to setup a date after the first date is over. It lets them, and me, process whether I actually want to see them again or if there's some incompatibility we missed instead of making a call based on limerence. But I usually follow up the following morning.
/r/seduction03/09/25 06:16 PM
3

Perhaps I wouldn't word it exactly how you did but it's actually pretty good advice to ask her directly and let her know what you think/feel. It shows confidence and assertiveness without playing any games. It's worked for me quite well before.
/r/seduction28/08/25 06:17 PM
1

I would say tourism makes a dating scene worse, especially after a certain point. Saying this as someone who lives in a city with many tourists.
/r/seduction20/05/25 06:31 PM
8

I'm the same, they all seem the same until I befriend them to some extent which takes some time. Definitely more than a few dates for me. As another commenter mentioned, this is on the demisexuality gradient. So you have to think about what you really want, why, and if this fits you at all. Do you want to be hooking up with random women often despite not feeling anything or only when you feel like it? Because if you keep doing the former, it'll mess with you or head. The main purpose for most of…
/r/seduction31/01/25 06:22 AM
5

I agree with your sentiment but you can reframe it in a way that's better. Instead of thinking about how to flirt with someone else, think about how it would be interesting to get to know them better. Don't have any end goals other than getting to know someone and having some fun. Eventually your brain gets used to this and you can work on other things.
/r/seduction13/01/25 02:55 PM
2

Only one I kind of disagree with is #7. You don't have to be outgoing, you can still be attractive while being introverted as long as you have confidence and good social/flirting skills.
/r/seduction18/10/24 04:17 PM
1

You don't have to be an extrovert, introverts can be attractive as well as long as they are confident and show other social & flirting skills.
/r/seduction18/10/24 04:16 PM
6

You missed an important lesson from those books: you cannot control other's behaviors or thoughts, just how you react. So focus on what you can control. It's not about becoming emotionally dead or jaded but about realizing that you have greater control over how you feel and think. Not completely since there will be times you feel frustrated or jaded. But in those cases you can still choose actions to restore yourself (take a break, hang out with good friends or spend time on a hobby to recharge …
/r/seduction13/10/24 08:12 AM
1

I'm going to repeat what my professors in engineering school said before. Even an idiot can get a PhD as long as they are tenacious and consistent about persevering through grad school. Academic intelligence is different from social intelligence and you clearly lack the latter.
/r/seduction09/10/24 08:57 PM
1

Need to look it up but I remember reading that those studies had some biases because they tended to ignore divorcees, widows, those in unhealthy relationships, and some others as well as fudging up the data a bit (dsimissing certain negative cases). When taking everything else into account, the benefits of marriage were not as significant or existent.
/r/seduction08/10/24 08:45 PM
79

This is basically focus on what you can control and ignore everything else. And take actions on what you can control. Doing so makes a big impact not just in dating but in general life.
/r/seduction05/10/24 12:05 PM
4

I've had the complete opposite experience. Whenever I make my intentions clear i.e. specifically invite her on a date, I'm much more successful than when I'm not. Perhaps you have something else going on?
/r/seduction27/09/24 07:40 PM
4

The Salsa/Bachata community is a bit different from the typical club dance groups. I've met plenty of guys who do well in the Salsa/Bachata scene but poorly in online dating or the typical dance party at a club.
/r/seduction25/09/24 05:29 AM
2

I'm surprised no one has mentioned the easiest solution, actually say that you want a date. Yes, it's important to show sexual/romantic interest but it isn't always enough. Explicitly ask them them out on a date by using the word 'date' not 'hang out' or just 'take you out'.
/r/seduction21/09/24 02:47 PM
2

Almost spot on although I would add the word 'date' when asking or telling her. Just telling them "I'd like to take you out!" doesn't necessarily mean she interprets it as a date even if you're flirting (know from personal experience).
/r/seduction21/09/24 02:44 PM
1

If you want a healthy relationship, then generally no. It should be a back and forth. Sometimes she does more, sometimes he does. If you don't care about the quality of the relationship or simply looking for casual, then it's fine.
/r/seduction17/09/24 08:51 PM
3

It should be a back and forth between both parties. If only one person does most of the chasing, it usually won't turn out well.
/r/seduction17/09/24 05:38 PM
1

True but that is also what you provided so both of our statements are on even terms unless you can provide actual data or research backing up your claims.
/r/seduction17/09/24 05:37 PM
3

I've heard that as well but it seems to be a bit more extreme in Europe based on what former New Yorkers and Californians who moved abroad have told me. However, that's just been a small sample size so it might be the same.
/r/seduction17/09/24 04:00 PM
3

What u/FramePrevails said is not necessarily true. Of all the healthy relationships I've seen, in half of them it was the man who brought exclusivity, not the women. It just depends a lot on the individual and culture .
/r/seduction17/09/24 03:58 PM
3

The problem is that different people have different behavioral patterns. What one person considers behaviors associated with exclusivity another does not. For example, I know several people who don't consider meeting the parents or moving in together as being exclusive even though other people do. Yet they don't like talking about what the relationship actually is.
/r/seduction17/09/24 03:56 PM
15

Not always on that last sentence unless you want to wait for a long time. Where I live, it's common for women not to bring up exclusivity until after a year or longer, if at all. A lot of Europeans don't like having the relationship talk preferring to assume instead.
/r/seduction15/09/24 07:30 PM
21

That's kind of me. If it's my first time with a certain woman, I may hesitate to escalate unless she makes it very clear and reciprocates.
/r/seduction02/09/24 09:56 PM
1

Not engaging in wordplay, I'm simply stating what is while avoiding any fallacies or personal attacks. Take it however you want. Doesn't change the fact that you're avoiding responsibility for your own comments and behavior. I can be on Reddit for any reason I want regardless of whether I have a life or not. Which if you read through my profile you would see I do. And as for comprehension skills, once again you claim that others don't know/have them yet you're the one who shows that. My only rec…
/r/seduction01/08/24 12:37 AM
1

He's criticizing your behavior and views, not you. You keep telling others that they don't know what an ad hominem is yet you're the one showing that you don't know. Learn not to take criticism personally. And you made quite the assumption about me worshipping PUAs. Which is quite false. I simply follow various different subreddits to call out inconsistencies in comments like yours. Stop taking things personally and think for yourself.
/r/seduction01/08/24 12:16 AM
1

He hasn't used any ad hominems on you, you're just taking things personally for whatever reasons. All he did was mention some general behaviors and qualities that people who make comments like you typically have. But you got triggered by that. It's funny that you say "When an ideology affects their bottom line, you better believe they will try to BS their way out of it." Yet that is exactly what you are doing. Except your bottom line is not money but self-esteem/confidence or your worldview.
/r/seduction01/08/24 12:05 AM
1

Disagree with the 2nd point. I've had more success being direct and letting her know if I'm interested at the end of the 1st date than if I leave her guessing. So have other friends of mine when they did the same. If done correctly, it shows confidence which is attractive.
/r/seduction09/06/24 09:33 AM
4

Me and several friends have traveled in Poland quite often and although what your friend experienced definitely happens, it is not as common as you think. You do have to know the local culture to have better success. Problem is, many foreigners think Poles are like all other Eastern Europeans when that is not exactly the case.
/r/seduction08/06/24 01:15 PM
4

No, the previous comment is right. I've seen it happen several times and even happened to me. I was interested in a girl but when she kept touching me in certain places without my consent, I lost my attraction to her. Perhaps this is not common among men but it is among women.
/r/seduction08/06/24 07:57 AM
1

Barcelona is pretty fun and the people are easy to talk to. It was also much easier to do daygame there compared to most places I've been to. But I also speak fluent Spanish so that probably made a difference.
/r/seduction07/06/24 02:24 PM
6

It's been my experience as well with a similar age group as yours, many women are OK with kissing or making out but do not want sex. I know of many women who go out clubbing explicitly looking for kissing/making out but completely avoiding sex.
/r/seduction23/05/24 07:45 PM
25

Your advice is spot on but honestly what OP described does not sound like a date unless they both explicitly agreed to it (which I don't think so based on OP's post). If he wants a date, he needs to clearly ask for one.
/r/seduction16/05/24 03:33 PM
2

You're still making a lot of assumptions which are based on your experiences. Which in itself is not necessarily wrong but definitely not true in general. But like you said, fair enough to disagree while being civil. Yes, the community I referred is somewhat unique but also relatively common in most Western countries. And what I observed there about relationship and friendship dynamics is not unique to it. I've observed it at work, school, and in many other places and communities. So what I'm sa…
/r/seduction12/05/24 10:41 PM
2

Sounds like your views are heavily influenced by your personal experiences. Which to be fair happens to everyone but lots of what you said is patently false for others and only applies to you in your current situation. Perhaps if you moved else or did things differently you wouldn't have these views. Hard disagree on various points: But.... maintaining female friends is actually a lot more difficult then having sex with women. They are even flakier then girls who date you. I have been hard press…
/r/seduction12/05/24 11:11 AM
3

Good message overall but the baby analogy doesn't really work. Babies are just oblivious and ignorant about everything and incapable of understanding much of anything beyond themselves. Once these start disappearing, you can see their insecurities appearing if they have any. Sometimes this is caused by external factors like you said but other times by internal ones.
/r/seduction21/04/24 08:41 AM
9

I've experienced this myself several times in Japan even when other foreigners were present. It's definitely the appeal of being a foreigner. Also, there are specific people known as gaijin hunters which you need to be careful with.
/r/seduction15/04/24 01:14 PM
4

Partner dancing in particular but knowing how to dance solo or with a partner is attractive for most women
/r/seduction08/04/24 04:09 PM
1

If you just listen and don't do anything else, she most likely won't feel attraction. You also need to follow the advice from the first paragraph.
/r/seduction29/01/24 08:41 PM
1

Because you can't get just one Lay...
/r/seduction19/06/23 04:07 PM
1

That's how I feel as well. You worded it quite well.
/r/seduction11/06/23 10:38 AM
14

Depends on the woman. Some men simply make women feel comfortable around them even though there's no attraction. At least that's what happens with me and several of my women friends.
/r/seduction23/05/23 11:34 AM
1

None of those traits listed are confrontational. Only #7 and #8 could be depending on how you do it. But like any social situation, you analyze the context and decide how to do it appropriately, if at all.
/r/seduction30/03/23 11:14 AM
6

As a dark skinned guy, I've actually had more success in Scandinavian cities than other European cities. Only other place that was better was Ukraine but obviously can't go there for now.
/r/seduction22/08/22 04:58 AM
4

You don't have to dance Bachata to Bachata songs. Most people can't tell when moves fit the music. They only see that you have good moves which is what makes you attractive.
/r/seduction15/08/22 12:26 AM
1

If you think Salsa and Swing are the best, you still need to learn Bachata. I dance all 3 and Bachata usually gets me the best results. Of course, this won't work if you only attend dance socials. It has to be a regular party or club in which most people don't know how to dance.
/r/seduction14/08/22 09:47 PM
2

Nope, you don't need to be fairly attractive to score. Being average looking and having excellent dance skills will make you very attractive if you use said skills at a regular club, not a Salsa, Bachata, or Swing dance party. People go to the latter to dance. They go to the former to have fun and perhaps hook up.
/r/seduction14/08/22 09:46 PM
6

I think you missed part of OP's point. Learning to dance and using those skills is an excellent way to flirt outside of the Bachata scene. Try flirting during a dance in a Bachata social and you will make her uncomfortable. Try dancing with a random girl at a random club and you will immediately become one of the most attractive guys. What makes you attractive is that you can do something different from everyone else.
/r/seduction14/08/22 09:43 PM
53

Excellent comment but I disagree with one minor detail: not investing emotionally more despite being married for 10 years or more. It's fine not doing so in the early stages. But in any long term relationship, attraction between the couples changes. Some days she will be more invested. Other days you will. Of course, one should not be more invested for long periods of time. However, it is perfectly healthy to be more/less invested at different times. When one partner is always more emotionally i…
/r/seduction12/08/22 11:18 AM
1

You make some good points but then start going black pill. 1) Yes, looks matter but you are overestimating them too much and underestimating other factors such as social skills. An average looking guy with excellent social skills will have about as much success as a model-looking guy with average or mediocre social skills. Of course, some women only want fuck hot men but the majority want to be with men who make them feel good. Which is best achieved through social skills. Men tend to get turned…
/r/seduction11/08/22 07:48 PM
7

For some people, you're right. But those usually tend to be the ones who haven't explored themselves enough. It requires a high level of self-awareness that very few people have. Rare but not a fairy tale.
/r/seduction11/08/22 12:33 PM
1

I'm not completely disagreeing with you, it just seems like you're oddly fixated on the wrong things. You keep going to either extreme when the truth is somewhere in the middle. Average looks with excellent social skills will take you as far as excellent looks with average social skills.
/r/seduction11/08/22 08:00 AM
1

But those conditions you speak of usually don't interfere much with social skills. For example, narcissism helps because it gives the person an unusual amount of confidence which is attractive. It only interferes with social skills when they try to deepen a relationship. I can definitely tell you that your last sentence isn't completely true. Yes, physical attraction gets your foot in the door but doesn't close the deal. I've seen way too many hot men (model looking) who don't have the social sk…
/r/seduction10/08/22 11:02 PM
46

That's not supporting at all, that's complying. You can support someone's religious journey without being involved in it. It's good that you chose the best for yourself but also sad that it didn't work out. Life is bittersweet.
/r/seduction10/08/22 04:49 PM
1

Oh I agree with you. You can work all you want on yourself but if you never approach or flirt with women, you won't get any unless you are really lucky. I do think though that this life coaching you're railing against is necessary for a significant amount of Redittors here since a good chunk of them don't have a good enough mental health to date or hookup. This is even more visible in person. Now, one does not need to be in good mental health to date and hookup but it does help drastically when …
/r/seduction10/08/22 04:46 PM
1

It's not that women are mind readers. It's that men are much easier to read than women. Men tend to be either direct or oblivious to their behavior. When men find a woman attractive, they tend to stare more than usual at certain body parts. Or they flat out ask her regardless of tact. Both are quite noticeable. Women tend to be more subtle. Of course that's not all men or women but generally true. You made some good comments in other threads but it still seems that you're stuck in the mindset th…
/r/seduction10/08/22 02:55 PM
2

I agree that the labels don't matter much (although it does to some people which is up to them) but there is something that should be clarified. Exclusivity doesn't mean commitment. Too many people assume they're the same when they're actually not. Which could be the situation OP is in. I've seen both men and women who want exclusivity but not commitment (you can't be with someone else but not making any effort to deepen the relationship) s well as vice versa. That is why clear communication abo…
/r/seduction09/08/22 03:45 PM
6

Not necessarily true. I've had it happen to me (and seen it happen to others) that she gets comfortable getting the gf treatment but still refusing to be in a relationship despite being exclusive. It is a common problem in the dating world when one person gets all they want without offering enough in return. OP should reflect on whether he is satisfied with the current arrangement or if he truly wants a relationship. If the latter, then he needs to cut ties before getting more involved.
/r/seduction09/08/22 10:47 AM
4

Point 3 depends on how the person is. Some women prefer waiting beyond the 3rd date (including kissing) and others prefer on the first one. Doesn't mean that you shouldn't try kissing on the first date, just to be aware of how it's not a one-size-fits-all situation. You have to gauge case by case. And you become good at that by doing it multiple times.
/r/seduction08/08/22 02:45 AM
2

It's almost impossible to go low-key with the friend of a friend. Most certainly they will talk about it since they already have.
/r/seduction05/08/22 09:46 PM
1

I think there is a fine line you can tread here that works well but one needs to understand the following first. Most people conflate being nice with being kind when they are actually different. Being nice is basically people pleasing. People are nice due to ulterior motives (expect something in return, don't want to reveal their lack of self-confidence, etc.). Being kind means that you genuinely care about others so you won't sugar coat problems. For example, consider a friend who is dating an …
/r/seduction04/08/22 04:53 AM
4

Life is generally better in your 30s if you have a good foundation and people typically become more mature. That's definitely true. And many people who are dipshits in their 40s and 50s were even worse when they were younger. But not everyone in their 20s is a dipshit. Plenty of people in their late 20s are quite mature (and didn't grow up with smartphones either as you claim). And plenty of others also become worse as they grow older. They become rather jaded and perhaps dipshits. Based on your…
/r/seduction03/08/22 10:35 AM
21

Axe is fine as long as you don't use it excessively. Just a quick spray here and there. I've had women compliment on my cologne when it was just Axe.
/r/seduction31/07/22 04:31 PM
2

I dgaf about what those other commenters say, the results I've seen prove them false. Just find it weird that they see dancing as not masculine when it allows you to spend a significant amount of time socialising and physically close to women. More so than martial arts. But I guess such guys haven't had enough healthy exposure to women.
/r/seduction31/07/22 10:46 AM
8

That's what I did a while back, really got into partner dancing. It's a skill I can always improve on and a social hobby as well since I have to interact with others. It's boosted my confidence and social skills significantly. Now I usually don't have to ask for dances anymore, women keep asking me out to dance so often that I actually have to reject several because otherwise I'll burn out. Unfortunately, too many people on this subreddit denigrate dancing. Every time I've commented on how good …
/r/seduction30/07/22 10:46 PM
8

Didn't go through experiences as extreme as yours but I definitely get the dgaf attitude. It's basically when you don't care about the results since either you improve, you live through it, or you don't. It either works out or doesn't so why worry about it?
/r/seduction30/07/22 09:14 PM
6

The point of game is to hook up with whomever you want or find attractive. Not everyone has the same tastes.
/r/seduction22/07/22 01:51 PM
7

OLD is quite bad for the average man, that's well known. It's much better in person than through OLD if you have some basic social and flirting skills.
/r/seduction22/07/22 01:50 PM
1

You're still going with this? Wow, you really can't let it go can you? You keep making false assumption after false assumption and double down on it despite being called out on it. Will there be times you can't run? Definitely but you overestimate how often that happens. Do people have a chase response? Some do but it's not animalistic like you describe it. If you can run a few blocks without tiring out, you're already outrun and outlast most people. Can fighters run? Most can but it takes a dif…
/r/seduction18/07/22 12:00 PM
7

And you keep digging yourself in a hole. The reason I'm telling you is because I actually know several guys 6'4 and above who don't do so well despite being presentable. One of them even got rejected for being too tall (her exact words). Stop living in a bubble and actually try seeing what's going on out there.
/r/seduction16/07/22 07:51 PM
6

You kind of did (although it seems more like you're the one getting triggered, not the previous commenter) by claiming that anyone 6'4 or taller only needs to be presentable. Sure, height makes some difference but not as much as you make it out to be. Being that height isn't an automatic win or easy mode.
/r/seduction16/07/22 06:16 PM
7

Presentation is a big part of attraction. The reason many men struggle is because they don't present themselves well either by not caring enough how to dress or lacking social skills they don't work on.
/r/seduction16/07/22 02:53 PM
1

I would argue that if that's your experience with social circles, then either you are doing something wrong or you are in the wrong social circle. The majority of people hook up and meet their significant others through social circles.
/r/seduction12/07/22 08:37 AM
2

I must say, you give some very thoughtful and helpful comments acknowledging what others go through and providing support. That's a rare trait especially online. This random Reddit stranger appreciates it even though I'm not the commenter you replied to.
/r/seduction10/07/22 09:42 PM
8

This depends a lot on the type of girl. Many of them prefer getting to know you through text before meeting in person. Unfortunately, it's hard to distinguish them from those who are just playing around so as a guy you have to make a decision on how long you will wait.
/r/seduction10/07/22 09:37 PM
17

Don't want to sound mean but if you learned more from a 17 year old about dating than anyone else, then both of you definitely lack a lot experience. Or the other people who gave you advice. Dating is something that you learn from experience and 17 years old simply isn't enough time to gain such experiences. Sure, your cousin may know a thing or two about dating but it simply won't compare to a 25 year old or a 30 year old consistently dating for years.
/r/seduction08/07/22 04:26 AM
1

You'll have a lot of luck in Eastern European countries like Poland or Ukraine. They tend to have a thing for Hispanic guys. Know from personal experience.
/r/seduction05/07/22 04:16 AM
2

To be fair, many personality traits can be seen nonverbally. And attractive qualities like confidence and taking the lead don't require much words either. They're more personality based.
/r/seduction04/07/22 05:56 AM
2

You're confusing the steps with the beat. They don't have to be the same. But you tried it and didn't like it so that's fine.
/r/seduction29/06/22 05:47 AM
2

West Coast is definitely one of the most versatile dances out there. You can dance it to practically any song. Bachata is a close second since you can dance it to any song with 4 or 8 beats (which are a lot).
/r/seduction28/06/22 10:44 PM
11

I dance a lot of Swing, Salsa, and especially Bachata and like u/RProgrammmerman said, it helps you build social skills with the opposite sex as well as other benefits. Like you, I've gained a lot more confidence and have received a lot more attention since I learned to dance. It's gotten to the point that I've had to reject quite a few women sexually/romantically since I go dancing for the sake of dancing and socialising with friends, not to hook up or find a romantic partner. I've brought it u…
/r/seduction28/06/22 10:42 PM
1

You're literally an example of what OP's post describes about having a static mindset. Thanks for the example!!
/r/seduction13/06/22 11:39 AM
-2

Looks definitely matter. Just not as much as most people believe (especially for serious relationships).
/r/seduction13/06/22 11:33 AM
1

Height is definitely a factor, just not as big as many people believe. For many women, how you make them feel is much more important than how tall you are.
/r/seduction11/06/22 06:45 PM
5

Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert A. Glover and "Models" by Mark Manson. They provide good guidance on building up your confidence.
/r/seduction02/06/22 05:48 PM
14

It's definitely wet somewhere
/r/seduction31/05/22 07:48 AM
4

Some are but I've spoken to a lot of such assholes/jerks and many of them are definitely not content with their lives.
/r/seduction31/05/22 07:45 AM
108

Definitely some of the best advice on this subreddit. If you're not in a healthy place mentally and emotionally, then you won't have much success in dating. Now, many people misinterpret this by saying "But that jerk/a**hole always has a girl!" What they don't realise is that even though that may be true, those relationships (whether casual/short-term or serious) are unhealthy and cause much more pain than being alone. People think being single and alone is the worst but it is much worse to be i…
/r/seduction30/05/22 05:26 PM
1

How is telling guys to be direct and simply ask the same as telling them to be themselves? The latter is just a platitude while the former is an an actionable step. And what said in the previous comment was about how to change your mentality. You're conflating different issues.
/r/seduction29/05/22 10:26 AM
0

If you don't play those games you weed them out because such women tend to want guys who play along. If you don't play along, the majority of such women will leave you alone. Makes dating a lot easier and effective.
/r/seduction29/05/22 04:33 AM
-8

Play stupid games win stupid prizes. If you think early stage dating is a game, then it will be a game and women will treat it as such. If you don't and act as such, you will weed out the majority of women who play games and have more success. That's why it's always better to be direct. That doesn't mean that you should directly ask her to fuck. That's not being direct, that's being crass. You can be direct and flirtatious at the same time which is way more attractive.
/r/seduction28/05/22 07:40 PM
372

Or just be direct and ask the morning of the date. No games involved and you don't waste your time.
/r/seduction28/05/22 10:21 AM
2

Oh, I know plenty of Math, Physics, and CS PhDs. I actually studied theoretical CS in grad school. And there are definitely a lot of grad students and PhD graduates who only have average intelligence. Like I said before, it's grit and determination (along with useful connections and luck) that gets you through grad school. Intelligence will only get you so far.
/r/seduction27/05/22 02:19 PM
57

Not a guarantee either. I've met several women in PhD programs or med school who were exactly as OP described. There's a saying in grad school that grit is what gets you through grad school, not intelligence. That's why you get so many PhDs who are experts in their field but stupid otherwise.
/r/seduction27/05/22 09:24 AM
6

All of them are quite good indicators, especially when combined, of interest. Except for #4 depending on how social you are. If you're not a social person, then yeah that's a strong indicator of interest. But if you're already a social guy, it just means that you either lead a life more interesting than hers or they simply value you as a friend. Saying this from personal experience since I have various women who always watch/like my posts/stories and the majority are simply friends (not even clo…
/r/seduction26/05/22 05:50 PM
5

I've had quite a few experiences with beer goggles and fortunately every time I've thought "I'm drunk. Wait til you're sober and decide then". Has saved me from regret multiple times.
/r/seduction26/05/22 12:50 PM
22

Alcohol losses our inhibitions but it doesn't create desires that weren't there. Unless you have beer goggles. But your statement is generally true.
/r/seduction26/05/22 09:51 AM
5

You're relying on confirmation bias though. I used to think the same but after talking to several married and partnered people I know, I realised a significant amount of them were friends before being couples. It could be that you're simply not realising how many of the coupled people you know were friends beforehand. Or you are one of the rare ones that only knows people who aren't coupled or only coupled ones who weren't friends before (which is doubtful).
/r/seduction18/05/22 09:12 AM
9

That may be your personal experience but the data shows that's not always the case nor is it a minority.
/r/seduction18/05/22 08:04 AM
37

Friendships turning into romantic relationships is a lot more common than most Redditors believe, at least based on what current research shows.
/r/seduction18/05/22 07:53 AM
5

Or simply don't have the social skills or live in a place without many opportunities. I know a few people who are average at best (including me, my face isn't symmetrical at all) yet have an easier time doing exactly what OP said.
/r/seduction12/05/22 07:53 AM
1

You misunderstand what demisexuality is if you believe that the majority of people are demisexual. Sure, most people prefer to have sex with people they know but that's not exactly demisexual.
/r/seduction12/05/22 04:18 AM
4

OP could be demisexual or on the asexual spectrum. Not everyone is interested in sex and some of us simply become interested after getting to know the person better. There's nothing wrong with that, it's simply a different form of sexuality. Too many people here are assuming OP has low testosterone when he may have normal levels.
/r/seduction11/05/22 08:46 PM
6

The issue is that despite claiming that you're happy, you don't have a healthy self-image and radiate negativity. No matter how physically attractive or social you are, being so negative will kill any attraction. You just need to find a compatible therapist. I highly doubt that several therapists have told you that you're meant to be alone (highly unethical and simply not true based on current therapy practices). But if that's true, then report them and find another one. Because your self-negati…
/r/seduction11/05/22 05:06 AM
1

Something that you're completely ignoring or forgetting: no matter what others say, only you can give yourself honest closure. Just because someone gives you a reason doesn't mean you will accept it. You may not. But you can always accept that it didn't work out and move on.
/r/seduction03/05/22 10:14 AM
-1

Depends a lot on where you are. Muscles are considered quite attractive in America but in various parts of Europe it's the opposite. Having a toned body though is always a good idea.
/r/seduction03/05/22 05:21 AM
6

The important thing is that you were assertive about what you want. That's attractive. So instead of asking "Want to go on a date?" simply tell her "let's have a date here doing this."
/r/seduction29/04/22 01:09 PM
-1

Honestly, it depends. If you're giving gifts just because you want to without expecting anything in return, that's fine. But if you have some other motives or expectations, that's bad.
/r/seduction29/04/22 09:33 AM
2

Funnily enough, I've used that line and similar ones and they work well if you use them playfully. At least it has for me.
/r/seduction20/04/22 07:18 PM
1

That's curious because I feel like it's the opposite for me. I feel that in Swing, the dance is more 50/50 between leader and follower. Followers need to maintain their own rhythm, footwork, and styling. Meanwhile, in Bachata it's more 70/30 or 60/40 between leader and follower since you can somewhat do moves without worrying as much about rhythm and footwork (won't be as good of a dance but still possible).
/r/seduction20/04/22 06:15 PM
1

You can do the same with Bachata. I have danced Swing (Lindy Hop and Collegiate Shag), Salsa, and Bachata for years and personally find Bachata to be the most free-style dance. It can also fit to many more dances than most Swing styles. But Swing is still quite fun.
/r/seduction20/04/22 09:43 AM
7

Just a word of caution as someone who has danced Salsa, Bachata and Swing for years: it's perfectly fine to date and hookup within the dance community but don't go there with the expectation of doing so. To many people believe dancing is a free pass to make moves on someone when that's not true at all. Yes, Bachata is very sensual but it is also very structured. If you make a move during the dance, it will throw off your partner and make them uncomfortable. Do it to a few people and you'll be la…
/r/seduction20/04/22 09:38 AM
2

And you're conveniently avoiding what I called you out on. I called you out on your claim that any women would prefer to marry a famous person if they were the main partner. Lots of women have enough self respect and self worth to say no to that. And several genuinely don't want that either.
/r/seduction12/04/22 01:55 PM
2

Quite the opposite. Someone with a good sense of self worth will not behave like you described. Seems like you're quite pigeonholed in your views.
/r/seduction12/04/22 01:43 PM
5

What women are you asking? Because a significant amount of them are exactly the opposite.
/r/seduction12/04/22 12:46 PM
1

Ah, OK. From your post, it seemed that your numbers were based on first dates only. Still, 46% is quite a good number for first dates.
/r/seduction07/04/22 02:07 PM
1

Math doesn't add up 71% of 66% is about 46% percent which means that out of 32 women you would have consummated with at most 14 out of 32 instead of 22 out of 32 (68%). You may need to check your data but otherwise all your other advice is quite solid.
/r/seduction07/04/22 05:14 AM
0

That's exactly what happens with most other skills. It's just that people tend to ignore or take personally any feedback about improving their social and flirting skills.
/r/seduction06/04/22 01:24 PM
1

Look I don't think you understand violence and that's a great thing. You've enjoyed a life of safety and most people have. Great assumption except that it's false. I spent a significant amount of my life growing up in a dangerous part of Mexico as well as dealing with gangs as a kid and adult. Have also spent significant time in areas close to war zones such as Iraq and Ukraine. I've also seen and been in situtations even worse than what the video you shared. So I know what I'm talking about and…
/r/seduction06/04/22 12:47 PM
20

This is true as long as she doesn't give any negative body language. Unfortunately, that negative body language can be quite subtle which most men will miss. As long as you take it in stride and not personally, you'll be fine.
/r/seduction06/04/22 06:44 AM
0

That just sounds like such a person needs therapy to resolve their issues. If you're unhappy by yourself, you will still be unhappy with someone else.
/r/seduction03/04/22 09:06 AM
16

In some sense you're right if you reframe it like this: the love of your life is yourself. No one will love you like you can yourself. Once you truly love yourself, you won't be so dependent on external factors to feel satisfied.
/r/seduction03/04/22 12:07 AM
4

That applies to men as well. Plenty of them don't know what they really want.
/r/seduction30/03/22 09:21 PM
3

If it is the right woman then it won't backfire because she's OK with it. Otherwise, she's not the right woman because she's not compatible with you.
/r/seduction23/03/22 04:43 PM
14

And why should that be a problem? If you're secure, it shouldn't matter.
/r/seduction23/03/22 08:44 AM
2

Partner dancing (Bachata, Salsa, Swing), outdoor activities (hiking, camping, trekking), urban exploration, coding, and learning languages. It's a good mix of social hobbies and solitary ones.
/r/seduction20/03/22 10:05 AM
2

Or it is just average. You're seriously misunderstanding how height and numbers work....
/r/seduction16/03/22 06:37 AM
3

My point still stands. 5'6" is not short by most standards. If you said 5'4" or shorter than yes, that would be objectively short. But 5'6" isn't. I'm saying this as a 5'6" guy who lives in a country where the average height is taller than me.
/r/seduction15/03/22 11:26 PM
3

5'6 isn't short at all unless you live in the Netherlands or some similar parts of Europe. That's actually just below the average height for men in about half of the countries and above the average height for women in most countries.
/r/seduction15/03/22 12:48 PM
1

I’m the type of person that wants to carry everyone’s weight and be there for them while they don’t worry about me. That's actually holding you back. Most of us are taught that it's a sign of strength to be the quiet stoic type who is there for others but never needs anyone else. But it's the exact opposite and quite unhealthy. Why? Because we are social beings who need interactions to live a healthy life. Hiding your needs and wants will simply make them fester underneath which hurt your confid…
/r/seduction11/03/22 11:38 AM
3

Addiction is when something negatively interferes with your life. If you can beat it 4 times a week without interfering with your life, that's fine. If it only takes 2 times a week to negatively impact you, then it could be an addiction. Not everyone has the same capacities so stop projecting yourself on others.
/r/seduction09/03/22 02:27 PM
4

I do think that porn influences the brain. Absolutely. It also can affect the ways you look at sex. And it can also turn into an addiction. That's why your use should be moderate. I watch porn maybe 3-4 times per week. Does porn affect some people negatively? Absolutely. Does porn affect everyone negatively? Severely doubt it. That's the key part, moderation. Masturbating is a perfectly healthy thing to do as long as it is in moderation. I'm the same as you, it hasn't really affected my approach…
/r/seduction09/03/22 12:19 PM
1

Conversation topics depend on where you're from and where you live. In America, you definitely avoid serious topics. In most of Europe, if you don't talk about serious topics you're not getting a second date.
/r/seduction05/03/22 05:21 PM
3

Genuine question, what makes you think that women sleeping around is bad? Why does that make them unattractive to you?
/r/seduction02/03/22 08:35 AM
2

I think that these are both harder to change. Humor nowadays relies on contextual stuff and cross referencing which requires both good creativity and memory and also comminicational skills. You're right about that. It's harder to change because it requires changing ingrained mental habits. Mental habits that are harder to remove than working out. It requires social skills which aren't taught or learned easily. Meanwhile, it's much easier to learn how to work out properly. Excellent personality i…
/r/seduction22/02/22 07:49 PM
2

Yes, having a fit body is definitely a plus but not as much as you think. I've plenty of average looking men who score much more often than ripped guys. And that's because they have a great sense of humor or excellent personality. Keep in mind that women don't rely as much on visual stimuli as men do for arousal. What arouses them is how they feel about the situation. That's why erotic literature is way more popular among women than men.
/r/seduction22/02/22 10:13 AM
2

Not really. Being shredded is a big plus when you're young since for most young men, that's the only thing they've got going for them. But once you're older, an excellent personality will usually outdo an excellent body.
/r/seduction21/02/22 03:27 PM
2

Honestly, that doesn't matter much unless you take it personally. Most people prefer receiving attention in person than through social media. It just takes a particular set of skills and confidence that can be developed. The man who can make a woman feel desirable in his presence will generally do better than the models with excellent social media.
/r/seduction18/02/22 05:41 PM
1

No problem, I'm also responding quite late. I agree that everyone should know some basic self-defense. But the chances of not being able to run are quite slim. Almost every self defense instructor literally tells you that the first thing you need to do is run. Only fight as a last resort.
/r/seduction16/02/22 07:50 PM
2

I like feeding inexperienced trolls which is why I keep responding to you. It's kind of sad seeing such bad trolling. Think of it like reverse trolling (if you can understand that)...
/r/seduction13/01/22 07:55 PM
1

Well, I'm not the one using backwards logic or trolling so you would understand that logic better. Not that being gay is a problem. You're basically trying to insult with something that's not even an insult. I recommend improving your trolling.
/r/seduction13/01/22 07:49 PM
3

So a guy is gay because he wants to spend more time where there are more women? That logic doesn't make any sense.
/r/seduction13/01/22 06:44 PM
1

Ya but u have to be gay or female so 🤷 And why do you assume that?
/r/seduction13/01/22 04:41 PM
0

I get what you're saying, one should be able to have a social life outside of said activities, but it is a good start for most people. Think of it as training wheels. It helps you improve your social skills and at some point later on you won't need them anymore but can use them for fun.
/r/seduction13/01/22 04:40 PM
38

According to what I've heard from other people the college environment seems like a once in a lifetime thing that you can't really replicate anywhere else I somewhat disagree. Yes, college is a unique environment that can't be replicated elsewhere. But it is possible to have a similar or better social scene after college if you live in a major city. You just have to look for it and make an effort to connect with others. The social dynamics will be somewhat different but there will still be lots …
/r/seduction13/01/22 08:54 AM
6

Not just Salsa but any partner dance in general. Bachata is quite popular and Swing has a lively community in many locations.
/r/seduction13/01/22 08:47 AM
2

It's not the same but it does build the same kind of confidence. I've done both and they're definitely very similar. Like the old adage says, if you've got a fighter's foot then you also have a dancer's foot and vice versa. And you're forgetting the number one rule about fights: run when you can.
/r/seduction13/01/22 05:40 AM
6

In the last part, I was simply referring to the cumulative damage you get from sparring in martial arts that u/norwegiandoggo referred to. It happens in all martial arts, even BJJ (although to a much lesser extent). It's simply a consequence of repeated strikes on your body. Dancing won't cause such lasting damage except for maybe sore joints which would happen with any other sport. Referring to your other comment on pointless martial arts, I'd say such martial arts are only pointless from a sel…
/r/seduction12/01/22 07:53 PM
38

Partner dancing also covers all of these points while also providing a good excuse/opportunity to socialize with others. You socialize with others on the dance floor, can compete against others in dance-offs or other competitions (particularly jack n jill), challenge yourself by learning new moves and improving your connection with your dance partners, maintain yourself fit, and can set goals for improvement. All while avoiding most of the injuries associated with martial arts. Both martial arts…
/r/seduction12/01/22 06:40 PM
2

I totally understand because I already did the "socials + hobbies" thing and it did fuck all. It feels living a fake life. That means you didn't pursue hobbies for actually enjoying them but for some other reason. Try out as many different activities as you can and give them some time. Maybe it's once a week or once a month. Doesn't matter as long as you keep trying. I was in your shoes not long ago. Went to many socials and pursued several hobbies. Didn't give me any results. I later realised i…
/r/seduction12/01/22 09:31 AM
2

Then that's an attitude problem, not a lack of hobbies problem.
/r/seduction11/01/22 06:20 AM
1

Of course. I don't give a fuck about dancing. That's just what I said above. I can't think of a hobby I'm interested in that has a lot of women in it. Then perhaps you need to look for such a hobby. Be open to new experiences and try lots of new things. If you don't like them, simply move on to something else. It takes time but chances are you will find some with more women that you genuinely like. You just have to put the effort in.
/r/seduction10/01/22 07:51 PM
9

It does depend on where you live but even then, there are still plenty of women who attend dance classes and want to date. Where I live, there are more men than women in the dancing community. Not as much of an imbalance in the intermediate/advanced classes or the socials but still there. Despite this, you can still find women who want to hook up or want a relationship easily. and sometimes men were left to DANCE WITH EACH OTHER, yeah my ass which shows that you joined not because you genuinely …
/r/seduction10/01/22 06:49 PM
9

You probably live in the wrong place or go to the wrong socials. Pick a hobby that is gender balanced or has more women and you will have more opportunities. It definitely works outside of college. Granted, it should be a hobby you genuinely like, not just for picking up someone.
/r/seduction10/01/22 04:28 PM
9

Your luck will eventually run out like that...
/r/seduction07/01/22 06:55 PM
3

This is a common topic brought up by newbies in other subreddits like r/Salsa and r/Bachata (like this post) and the general consensus is the same. The majority of dancers don't like it when someone escalates during the dance. Off the dance floor? Sure, no problem. It's just that when we dance we focus on only the dance so any escalation is disturbing.
/r/seduction03/01/22 06:20 AM
1

Just a word of warning about physical escalation: it's heavily frowned upon in social dancing and can get you removed from the dance floor easily. The majority of partner dancers don't like people who join dance floors simply to find someone to seduce or physically escalate with. Suhh people are quite easy to identify. If you plan to escalate, make sure to do it not during the dance but afterwards when you've had a conversation with the person you're interested in and have clicked with them alre…
/r/seduction01/01/22 03:02 AM
0

It's hasn't been an attack on you (except for my last comment which could be considered one). It's not my problem that you don't have the confidence, self-esteem, or thick skin to handle criticism without taking it personally. It's quite telling about someone when they take criticism personally. What you do with that is up to you. I have no control over what you or others do, simply over how I respond. I chose to call you others out on your false assumptions and now I choose to make this my last…
/r/seduction31/12/21 02:12 PM
1

Funny that you're the one resorting to personal insults and attacks when I did none of those. That's more telling about you than me, especially your lack of social skills (and yes, take that however you want).
/r/seduction31/12/21 02:03 PM
-15

Yeah, the amount of misogyny here is not surprising for Reddit. Seems like people can't get through their heads that a woman can enjoy a lovely chat without hurting anyone. u/flamingfgt, don't pay attention to the naysayers. You did nothing wrong and neither did he.
/r/seduction31/12/21 02:02 PM
-3

You are reading way too much into this minor interaction. I recommend going out and socialsing more instead of relying on Reddit. It's not my problem that you can't see the double standard here.
/r/seduction31/12/21 01:58 PM
-4

You're seriously missing the double standards here...
/r/seduction31/12/21 01:44 PM
3

People who like to socialise do. Stop assuming everyone is like you.
/r/seduction31/12/21 01:37 PM
-7

So she's the one to blame even though it takes to tango?
/r/seduction31/12/21 01:36 PM
-5

The amount of negative comments against OP is astounding. Clearly this man had the confidence to flirt with her without expecting anything, just for the fun of it. And did so from a place of abundance, it's something he can clearly give away without problems. He was literally following the advice given by this subreddit yet everyone is hating on him. Edit: The responses below along with other comments on this post show exactly the problem with this subreddit. Plenty of guys can't handle a woman …
/r/seduction31/12/21 01:08 PM
2

It really depends on the local scene. What works in one place may not in another. You just have to check it out yourself.
/r/seduction31/12/21 10:41 AM
3

It's going to depend on the local scene. In some places, people only dance with the partner they bring. In others, they dance with whomever they find on the spot. I prefer the latter since it is more socials and fun but it is entirely up to you.
/r/seduction30/12/21 10:17 AM
3

It depends on what you like and what the local scene is. I started with Swing dancing but later changed to Salsa and now Bachata. For sure find a partner dance since that will help a lot more than individual (although the latter is still quite fun and helpful). Just find a style that fits your personality and go for it.
/r/seduction30/12/21 09:21 AM
23

For me it's the same but instead of martial arts it's dancing. Learning how to dance boosted my self confidence as well as giving me a healthy outlet for my emotions and a good way to socialise.
/r/seduction29/12/21 05:22 PM
16

Because there is a difference between needing something and wanting something. Too often people think their wants are needs when they are not. Once you realize romantic relationships are a want, not a need, it will become easier on your mind. It's perfectly OK to want a romantic relationship. It's not OK to need one.
/r/seduction10/12/21 12:43 PM
2

It’s my opinion from my experience, I don’t understand why people get offended by someone expressing their opinion and it’s about fucking hiking it’s not racism or politics. The problem is not so much that it is your opinion (which you have every right to have) but of how people are interpreting your comments. Your original comments resembles others commenters on this subreddit who come off as pretentious. Based on your responses, it's clear that you have a nuanced perspective on dating and simp…
/r/seduction10/12/21 08:23 AM
2

But your generalisation isn't even a good one. For some, it's easier at night. For others, it's easier during the day. Which is what I'm calling out.
/r/seduction10/12/21 08:10 AM
2

And you missed the point. Hiking is good for a first date if both of you are into it. Don't know where you're from but in some parts of Europe, particularly northern Europe, hiking is common and sometimes expected for a first date. But if either of you don't like it, it won't work. It's quite clear that you don't like hiking nor do you feel comfortable with it so you shouldn't do that for a date. For me and several others, we like hiking and are comfortable with it so hiking on a first date is a…
/r/seduction10/12/21 05:20 AM
-1

Or has actual experience and does know what they're doing. If you go into a first date expecting or hoping for sex, you won't be very successful. I agree with the general sentiment that dates should be romantic but different people find different things romantic.
/r/seduction10/12/21 05:13 AM
36

Funny thing, that hiking thing you claim doesn't work Was worked consistently for me. But that's because we were both into hiking and into each other. The original commenter is spot on.
/r/seduction09/12/21 05:15 PM
3

Sounds like you are an ambivert which most people are. Introversion/extraversion is a spectrum on which most people fall somewhere in the middle. It's common to have some introvert qualities and some extrovert qualities or change between them. True introverts and extroverts are actually quite rare. The problem is that most people confuse shyness with introversion or charisma/social skills with extraversion when neither are the case.
/r/seduction26/11/21 10:58 AM
9

If you are shy yes, you should change that. But if you're introverted you should embrace it. There's a big difference between introversion and shyness with the former being an attractive quality for many women if you're confident in your introversion.
/r/seduction26/11/21 07:03 AM
1

I went to classes for several years at various schools as well as attending socials multiple times a year. Where I live, there's just way more men than women, about 3 men for every woman. It's just a strange quirk of the city I live in.
/r/seduction21/11/21 07:29 PM
4

I certainly wish that was the case where I live. There's a lot more men than women in Salsa classes despite living in a big city. But they're definitely impressed when you can lead properly.
/r/seduction21/11/21 03:09 PM
5

Quite the opposite, saying what u/jacobmoogberg69 said takes confidence. It shows that you have boundaries and enforce them no matter what. Not enforcing your boundaries is what shows insecurity.
/r/seduction28/10/21 10:35 AM
4

That's probably because women are expected to be good at expressing and communicating emotions hence they are conditioned to do so at a young age. Meanwhile, men are expected to 'man up' and hide their emotions. Plenty of studies support this: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sexual-personalities/201504/are-women-more-emotional-men?amp https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5937254/ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0038026116686500
/r/seduction02/10/21 05:02 PM
9

As an average looking guy who was a late bloomer and seduction definitely didn't come naturally to me, OP is spot on. Like other commenters have mentioned, all of the terminology and advice offered by this subreddit is a good starting point but at best they're just training wheels. They're supposed to help you gain confidence in yourself and realise that women are human just like us and have the same desires. Then you can remove your training wheels and follow OP's advice. Because following the …
/r/seduction02/10/21 04:55 PM
1

I've found that older women tend to be much more direct and don't play mind games as much. They'll let you know what they like and don't like. That's something I rarely experienced from younger women.
/r/seduction26/09/21 03:40 PM
3

The same could be said of the original comment. Which is why like any mature person does, you should observe how mature and respectful the other person is before making a move. It's not black and white like the original comment makes it out to be.
/r/seduction21/09/21 08:11 AM
10

As long as both of them are mature about it, there's no problem dating a coworker.
/r/seduction21/09/21 05:04 AM
3

You don't speak for all women either. You're speaking from your experiences talking with the small group of women you know. Having spoken to women just like you described quite often, they've had the complete opposite experience. Plenty of approaches, about half from creepy guys and the other half from regular or attractive men who did so respectfully.
/r/seduction18/09/21 08:55 AM
-1

I mean, if you want to get to know her, it's obvious that you'll need multiple dates. Doesn't mean that you shouldn't take an opportunity when it presents itself. But it's perfectly fine to expect at least a few dates before sex happens.
/r/seduction11/09/21 05:11 PM
27

That advice is hit or miss. Some people are mature enough to handle it, some aren't. OP seems like he isn't.
/r/seduction27/08/21 10:35 AM
5

It's worth a shot but that's not always the case. Some people simply know how to make others feel comfortable and safe around them without any romantic/sexual tension. However, it is up to OP to figure out which one it is.
/r/seduction15/08/21 11:39 AM
-2

And again with the personal insults. There is literally no way for you to accept that you could be wrong even though the same logic applies to you.
/r/seduction05/08/21 10:15 AM
-1

I mean, I've done the exact opposite of what you suggest and it's worked multiple times. I'm sure it's the same for several others. The fact that you keep resorting tp insults is quite telling.
/r/seduction05/08/21 07:39 AM
3

No, it's because you're incredibly dense about what the 'right way' is despite being called out by plenty of others who did the opposite and were still successful. It's like you can't even acknowledge that you could be wrong.
/r/seduction05/08/21 04:58 AM
18

The qualities you listed in your post already make you quite attractive, particularly cooking since many men don't know how to cook. You could get back into dancing which will make you more attractive. However, don't do it for the sake of being more attractive. Do it because you like doing said hobby.
/r/seduction28/07/21 02:18 PM
5

Personally I've had more success when I text them early in the morning. It shows that you're one of the first thoughts you have before going on with your life.
/r/seduction10/07/21 08:35 PM
14

Careful, dating and seduction in Germany is different than in the US or UK. Definitely some similarities but the differences can be quite drastic.
/r/seduction30/06/21 03:21 PM
5

This will depend on where she is from and her cultural background. Here in Germany, most people don't mention their significant other or romantic interests unless you ask them directly.
/r/seduction27/06/21 05:06 PM
6

I was in the same boat, Hispanic and didn't know how to dance. So I started going to classes and lots of social dances. It's significantly improved my confidence and ability to express myself and just have fun.
/r/seduction16/06/21 04:31 PM
10

Your second point is flat out wrong. Most women won't speak out about feeling trapped because too often men will ignore it or take it as a cue to keep trying instead of accepting what she said. And women can still feel trapped even if they like you. That's why you always have to make sure that they have some sort of way they can leave you. And would you really want to be with a woman you have to trap to be with you instead of genuinely choosing to stay with you despite having the opportunity to …
/r/seduction14/06/21 12:12 PM
2

I've actually had more success doing exactly that. So personally, it is good advice.
/r/seduction14/06/21 12:08 PM
2

Join a social hobby like dancing or sports. It makes it much easier to date.
/r/seduction13/06/21 04:09 PM
17

I am one of those guys and honestly, my dating life didn't improve by much. What did improve it was accepting myself, focusing on my hobbies, and not seeking other's approval.
/r/seduction12/06/21 05:51 AM
0

For men at your age, it can be considered an insult. Most people of all genders your age just want something casual. However, if you're into older women, being 'husband material' will make you much more attractive to them. Know from personal experience.
/r/seduction11/06/21 07:11 AM
6

When deciding whether to approach a women (or anyone for that matter) keep the following in mind: Is the environment one in which people are open to being approached? Liked you stated in your comment, some places might be more 'acceptable' than others depending on local customs. In the US, it's normal to approach and chit-chat with strangers. In Germany, people will look at you as a weirdo. Activities or locations in which people tend to talk are better for this. This can range from sports event…
/r/seduction01/06/21 05:06 PM
0

Lol you read too much pick up stuff. You cant read women like that. They dont do the same things so you can surely tell "ok thats a go signal". That's quite the false assumption you made. I don't read PUA nor promote it. I read actual books and research on psychology and sociology. They're not hard to find. Nor did I imply this is a foolproof method. I simply implied it is more effective. It's not hard to read body language. They're wearing headphones and reading a book? Chances are slim that th…
/r/seduction01/06/21 04:50 PM
5

Or you could simply read their body language and determine whether they're open to talking with others or not. It'll get you more success than simply approaching all women. Most women are conditioned to be polite even when they're not conformable which is why we rarely see upfront rejections as men.
/r/seduction01/06/21 03:58 PM
1

Change betas and Chads to insecure and confident and I agree with your premise.
/r/seduction18/05/21 09:27 AM
11

You must be befriending/approaching the wrong women. I've done quite well when female friends have been my wing-girls or they set me up. Of course not all of them are like that. You just have to pick people know you well and have good social skills/standing.
/r/seduction18/05/21 09:25 AM
5

It is beneficial if he actually wants to have female friends. But if he doesn't, then he did the right thing. I've been in similar situations and have told them the same thing since I already have plenty of friends, including female friends.
/r/seduction18/05/21 09:17 AM
4

Perhaps for this specific instance that's the case but it's not always that you want to date a friend. It could very well be that you only saw them as a friend without any romantic/sexual attraction to them but as you got to know them more, you started getting attracted to them. It's more common in women than men but still happens. However, your basic premise of always being upfront about what you want and not befriending someone simply to date them later on is true.
/r/seduction16/05/21 06:29 PM
1

It's not always that either. You're still assuming that they want to give out their number. Many of my female friends have told me they will give out their numbers despite not wanting to even when they behave exactly like you described. It's just habit for many of them. We should always do our best to make them feel safe and comfortable regardless.
/r/seduction29/04/21 03:27 AM
9

Advice from a guy: I've had much more success giving out my number than asking for hers. So the original commenter is actually spot on.
/r/seduction28/04/21 09:15 PM
3

Not necessarily always true. Many women simply give out their phone number without any intentions of responding simply to get the guy to leave. May be due fear of being yelled or attacked, being too nice, or simply habit.
/r/seduction28/04/21 09:13 PM
2

The effectiveness of cold approach depends a lot on the local culture. Cold approach in the US or a Latin American country? Moderately effective at worst. It is expected in those places. Cold approach in a German speaking or Scandinavian country? Barely at all.
/r/seduction26/04/21 05:19 PM
1

It's not necessarily with OP validating them (which he doesn't have to do). It's also with OP's condescending behavior. People will clearly have different opinions but instead of taking it in stride, OP makes crude comments or insults them. That combined with OP's absolutism is what's garnering such a strong reaction against him.
/r/seduction19/04/21 05:03 AM
1

It's also because of OP's attitude that people are responding in such ways. I'm quite successful in dating and although I agree that women in general tend to be subtle about showing interest, in many of the comments OP outright says those signals are a guarantee they're interested when they're not. Sometimes they are and sometimes they aren't. It's OP's absolutism that's getting him so downvoted and many counter comments.
/r/seduction19/04/21 04:40 AM
1

It's not basic behavior for women to MOVE THEIR DANCING TO YOU. Yes, it is basic behavior. You clearly haven't been to enough dance floors or clubs. You use your emotional intelligence BY READING CUES such as ones I have mentioned which you say mean nothing lmao. I actually agree with this. However, you claim such cues always indicate sexual interest. They don't. Many women simply like to dance like that. I know plenty of women who just like to dance like that and don't want anything sexual. If …
/r/seduction19/04/21 04:32 AM
2

And why are you even talking about yourself in third person?
/r/seduction18/04/21 09:40 PM
2

Your original claim was not about twerking. Your original claim was about subtle behavior that could or could not be hints a woman is interested. What you described is basic behavior on any dance floor. You then shifted the goalpost (logical fallacy) by claiming you said twerking when you never did. As someone who dances a lot, if you go dance some Salsa or Bachata with your attitude it won't go well the majority of the time. And you're wrong, randomly making moves on women in 2021 puts you at r…
/r/seduction18/04/21 09:39 PM
2

Like I said before, you conveniently ignored the fact that I said you lose nothing in making a move. I never said that you shouldn't. That is not mutually exclusive from what you wrote being an accident as many other commenters have mentioned. It's like you're just being argumentative for the sake of arguing and resort to personal insults and personal grandeur instead of backing up your claims. And you're literally making the same claims PUAs make which is why I assumed you read PUAs. Some way o…
/r/seduction18/04/21 09:26 PM
0

And your response is exactly the one someone would give that sorely lacks maturity and emotional intelligence. You clearly have a distorted view of dating from all the PUA stuff you've stuffed into your mind.
/r/seduction18/04/21 09:19 PM
0

And you do realize that I said you don't lose anything if you make a move? Honestly, it seems like you don't have much experience socializing with others and instead stick to what PUAs say. Which explains your mostly senseless answers. Stop reading PUAs, read some actual books on emotional intelligence, and go out there to socialize with others. You'll have much more success.
/r/seduction18/04/21 09:14 PM
2

Um yes it sometimes is. Or sometimes they intentionally do that but with no intention of anything sexual. I've experienced it quite often as have various friends of mine. If you go to enough parties and have good enough emotional intelligence to read other's body language and expression, you'd realise this is quite a common mistake.
/r/seduction18/04/21 09:07 PM
2

Depends on the girl. Many times it is an accident. However, you don't lose anything if you make a move as long as you're respectful.
/r/seduction18/04/21 07:49 PM
8

Men and women are not equals. Women are not here to challenge men, they are here to submit and be cooperative with men, so that they can create a nest and have healthy offspring. That just reeks of sexism. Whether that comes from insecurities or from a distorted worldview who knows. Challenge & competition is a male thing, its what men do with each other, women have been pushed and pressured into accepting masculine traits through feminism. Its counter-productive and counter nature! It's not, th…
/r/seduction10/04/21 12:11 PM
11

I wouldn't say that girls get more love than boys. It's that girls are taught and expected to show love in emotionally healthy ways. Boys on the other hand are told to suck it up or hide their emotions. If boys were taught and expected to be as emotionally expressive as girls, fewer men would have dating problems.
/r/seduction05/04/21 09:12 AM
2

Attractive/rich men have more dating partners to begin with therefore by default experience more cheating. And it's obvious you didn't read the study. At all. Which would be understandable because it is a long paper but since you replied too quickly to my comment it's obvious you simply disagreed with the premise without actually reading it. The study took into account increased dating partners. That's the reason why they used standard deviation and percentages instead of raw numbers. It's basic…
/r/seduction03/04/21 04:27 PM
1

“Rich dudes and attractive dudes get cheated on all the time” they don’t. You’re making stuff up to make yourself feel better about not being one of those “rich dudes and attractive dudes” No, he's not. There's actual research (and articles) showing that men with higher incomes tend to be cheated on more than men with lower incomes. Don't make excuses for telling people to not work on themselves.
/r/seduction03/04/21 04:04 PM
9

It really depends on how you use it. Many men use porn obsessively which does hurt them. If that's the case then #4 is important. But for many men, it shouldn't be outright removed. If used in moderation, it can prevent men from making bad decisions due to horniness and lack of post-nut clarity.
/r/seduction03/04/21 03:58 PM
15

It depends on where the person is from. This is typical in the US. In many parts of Europe though, this is unusual and sometimes considered offensive.
/r/seduction22/03/21 07:38 AM
4

I think you're conflating flirting with something else (can't remember the word now). You can flirt without any expectations (except having a good time) or flirt expecting her to do something for you. You can show desire without expectations or with them. The former will get you better results in general than the latter.
/r/seduction12/03/21 01:10 PM
3

Not always. Personally, I've had more success when I don't try than when I do. It just depends on the situation.
/r/seduction12/03/21 11:52 AM
1

Careful, you might get downvoted for saying this. I said exactly that days ago on this thread and got downvoted to oblivion while people insulted me. Not that a redditor's comment matters much either...
/r/seduction06/03/21 07:09 AM
0

I agree with your comment and with your post. Although I also believe your seduction skills improve greatly when you work on yourself. Which is what self-help does. But unfortunately much of the stuff out there are general platitudes.
/r/seduction28/02/21 12:59 PM
6

I'd say none of those courses offer anything that you can't find for free online.
/r/seduction28/02/21 12:21 PM
3

I partially agree with the premise. It's not because they lack male friends or lack female friends. It's because they don't know how to be emotionally vulnerable and supportive outside of a romantic relationship. Once you learn to deal with your emotional needs through friendships and hobbies, you won't burden your romantic partner with all of your emotional needs. That makes you emotionally mature and more attractive than the average man.
/r/seduction20/02/21 02:38 AM
11

Doesn't matter much as long as both of you are comfortable. What you should always consider is that you don't lock her in physically i.e. she has no way of getting out. If you lock her in physically red flags will pop out and she won't be receptive to you.
/r/seduction18/02/21 01:00 PM
5

Depends on the location. I'm a Latino so speaking Spanish doesn't make much difference. Having danced in clubs nowhere close to Latino populations, it's kind of expected of us to know how to dance. As a Latino I have to play my cards differently.
/r/seduction18/02/21 08:52 AM
22

Just be careful with whom you dance with and what style of Bachata it is. The one you see in Dancing With The Stars is Sensual Bachata which is danced mainly for performances and some clubs. The Bachata most people dance socially in Latin American countries is Dominican Bachata or a variation of it. What's the difference? Sensual uses lots of body waves and close physical contact in a slow controlled manner. Dominican uses fast footwork and movements resembling Salsa more than Sensual. Found thi…
/r/seduction17/02/21 08:53 PM
6

Oof, that feels like me before I worked on myself. I felt horrible expressing sexual energy in women I was interested in. This is what I did to get rid of it: Read No More Mr. Nice Guy. The good thing about this book is it is written by an actual psychotherapist, not a PUA. It helps you deal with the actual sources of the problems instead of applying bandaids. Read several books on emotional intelligence, cognitive behavioral therapy, and positive psychology. Then I applied them when socializing…
/r/seduction14/02/21 12:54 PM
2

Not just the cleaniness but the smell. It doesn't have to smell good, just doesn't have to smell bad. Although I'm somewhat messy I make sure my place does not smell. At all. Too many guys have smelly apartments even when they are tidy.
/r/seduction12/02/21 11:56 AM
17

There's a difference between genuinely respecting women and being nice simply because they are women and want something from them. Chances are the men you've seen 'respecting' women fall in the latter group or simply don't know how to express their intentions in a realistic way.
/r/seduction07/02/21 06:20 PM
2

Honestly this sounds like a problem that only happens in college or around people who don't have much life experience. Before the pandemic, it was common to talk about how to approach others, romantically or platonically, with friends or strangers, men or women. We all shared our experiences, experimented at the bars we were at, and laughed about it when someone failed or cheered when someone succeeded. However, it might be how you express it. If you're saying stuff like "I'm trying to get laid"…
/r/seduction26/01/21 10:13 PM
47

Definitely the usual fun topics like you mentioned along with some flirting. But if you're seeking a long-term relationship it's best to bring up serious topics early on. Deal-breakers, life plans, what both of you believe a relationship is. Best to talk about serious topics early on so you don't waste each other's time and avoid unnecessary pain. Many people tend to avoid these topics since it'll "scare off" the other person or come off as "too needy & desperate". That can happen but what matte…
/r/seduction20/01/21 10:17 AM
2

Instead of thinking of it as not caring for the results it would be better to think of challenging it as not having any expectations. You should care whether the person takes it the wrong way but don't tease with the expecting a hookup or date.
/r/seduction16/01/21 09:16 AM
1

Hadn't quite thought of it that way but I agree. If she doesn't place any effort in contacting me then I won't reciprocate. And doing so has saved me lots of heartache and time. Now I know when someone is genuinely interested and we don't waste time. Another thing I want to add is it seems many people complain about ghosting but define it in different ways. I've heard people complain about ghosting when all they've done is text, may a video or phone call, but never met up in real life. I don't s…
/r/seduction12/01/21 01:00 PM
3

Having been in Ukraine multiple times myself, it has been much easier to set up dates there although the language barrier can be tough to overcome. Fun times and can give some tips about dating in Ukraine when I'm not as busy.
/r/seduction28/12/20 12:28 PM
1

I would compete in Lindy Hop Jack n Jill competitions whenever I attended a festival but not otherwise. Something like this. Even then I only competed for fun and to dance with the teachers while overcoming my anxieties not to place.
/r/seduction28/12/20 12:25 PM
9

OP's advice and yours aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. You can still show concern for her without bending over backwards for her. Simply establish your boundaries and be firm with them while listening to and supporting her.
/r/seduction27/12/20 10:41 PM
19

It's frowned upon to approach or talk to anyone in public unless all parties involved are in a location and situation in which it is expected i.e. a party, Meetup or anything similar.
/r/seduction27/12/20 08:06 PM
33

To add to this post as a Berliner: There's definitely a difference in approaching people based on surroundings. It might be normal in the US to approach a stranger and flirt with them at a bar/pub but doing that in Berlin or anywhere else in Germany is heavily frowned upon. Unless there's some event or activity going on. It won't be a problem if you manage to find other tourists in the bar but you'll fail much more often than you should. Meetups can remedy this since they tend to be public. If y…
/r/seduction27/12/20 06:27 PM
2

What would a confident answer be? Telling her you're not putting up with such behaviour and walking away.
/r/seduction16/12/20 01:21 PM
3

That you still think in terms of alpha and beta is sad. But let me put it in your terms. You know what's beta? Not expressing yourself in a healthy way and letting others know why you behaved in a certain way.
/r/seduction11/12/20 12:11 PM
1

What's lame about the comment?
/r/seduction11/12/20 12:08 PM
12

Something really annoying ... you didn't label either axis on all graphs. So with only your titles it's unclear what you are graphing. I presume time (what units?) is the x axis since that's the independent variable but is it? What's the y axis?
/r/seduction08/12/20 06:05 AM
41

That's because bots are programmed to swipe right on everyone. If you do that then they will think you're a bot.
/r/seduction25/11/20 12:05 PM
7

It makes a significant difference. I went from having one or two matches per year to having several per week. I also used Photofeeler to get feedback on which are my best pics. It's free and you can select who gets to vote on your pics.
/r/seduction25/11/20 09:07 AM
-3

And it seems that you are triggered or jealous thus taking it out on someone who is comfortable with what they have.
/r/seduction10/11/20 01:24 PM
1

Would I 'friendzone' such a woman? If by 'friendzoning' you mean only treating her as a friend then maybe. It would depend on compatibility and other factors. Just because a woman is beautiful, kind and has a good sense of humour doesn't mean that I will be interested in her. They're necessary but not sufficient requirements. Perhaps we have different goals or outlooks of life that simply aren't compatible. That's happened quite a few times to me. I know what I want and go for it. If it doesn't …
/r/seduction02/11/20 04:16 PM
1

It's OK to have such preferences but based on the rest of his post (calling certain men beta) that's typically not the case. From my experience people who consider others beta tend to have double standards or some toxic views.
/r/seduction29/10/20 05:50 PM
1

Considering that you are implying it is wrong for women to have been with +15 men in their lives and call certain men beta, I don't blame them for avoiding you. Sounds like you have a rather skewed view of women. Just reverse the question, would it be OK for you or any man to have been with +15 women in their lives?
/r/seduction29/10/20 05:33 PM
1

I'm going to combine my responses to both threads in here to avoid being all over the place. I'm not talking about attraction at all, just communication in general. The majority of communication doesn't rely on the exact words. There's plenty of research proving this (not sure if I can post links here but if I can and you request it I will). Most of it depends on body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Tone of voice can be somewhat expressed in text but not completely. Sarcasm in p…
/r/seduction27/10/20 01:57 PM
1

Only to a certain extent. Emojis can only convey so much. Facial expressions and body language are much more effective.
/r/seduction27/10/20 05:56 AM
2

Seeing the person's facial expressions and reactions when talking, whether they have open or closed body language, whether they are paying attention to you or not. Most communication is non-verbal. That's why you might feel creeped out by one person but not another even though they are saying the exact same thing.
/r/seduction27/10/20 05:54 AM
2

The overthinking problem yes, the non-verbal communication no. There are things you can't express properly with words, only with body language.
/r/seduction26/10/20 05:25 PM
3

Because you miss out on the non-verbal communication which actually makes up the majority of communication. Yes, I can text the same thing but if I tell you in person I can read your reaction (happy, sad, offended, interested, etc.) and respond appropriately. This is what makes conversations dynamic and easier to maintain. Also, many people tend to overthink what they write but not what they say.
/r/seduction26/10/20 03:37 PM
3

Context is important. If you just cold approach a woman without warning it will send negative vibes that will most likely wind up in rejection. This is what happens on the street or places where you don't expect to socialise with people. If you approach them in a place and time when/where socialising is expected or encouraged then it will work better. If you first get to know them and actually make them comfortable before asking then much better. Also, keep in mind many people (not all) who cold…
/r/seduction09/10/20 04:06 PM
8

It's definitely more of relationship advice than seduction but it can also be the latter. I've had several women give me their numbers after recognising their boundaries and respecting them. They later told me how common it is for men to keep going ignoring the boundaries even when they clearly said no.
/r/seduction06/10/20 10:06 AM
5

There's a difference between being sarcastic and being bitchy. The former is OK the latter isn't. You'll prevent lots of wasted time and frustration if you learn to recognise the latter and avoid them.
/r/seduction03/10/20 04:08 PM
13

Awful response you provided. Sarcasm is fine, being bitchy isn't. Once you learn to distinguish between them it will be much easier. I say this from personal experience including with English women.
/r/seduction03/10/20 04:06 PM
2

It's not ghosting unless you already have some significant commitment or relationship with that person. You don't owe anyone a conversation no matter how nice they are.
/r/seduction01/10/20 12:14 PM
1

That's just mean bro It's not, that's just being direct. That's how most of us are in the country I live in. You take it how you want, I'm not responsible for your reaction.
/r/seduction01/10/20 11:56 AM
1

I don't choose who I wanna talk to You do, it's as simple as not responding to them. You don't respond there's no conversation.
/r/seduction01/10/20 11:45 AM
1

It could also be the age group you're dating. People around your age tend not to know what they want or know how to communicate well hence the dating problems.
/r/seduction27/09/20 12:36 PM
2

It's not so much about you being a foreigner, it's just a Swedish thing. It's something quite common in Scandinavian and Nordic countries for people to ignore you the next day even if you hooked up with them (You Know You're Dating a Norwegian When... yes she's Norwegian but this is still common in Sweden). Just take your time to get to know them.
/r/seduction27/09/20 12:28 PM
1

She basically opened up to you emotionally and you didn't reciprocate. Even worse, you dismissed her emotions (even though you tried to be playful and not intentional). So it makes sense she has withdrawn from you sexually since she doesn't want to get too attached. She basically told you she is interested in a serious relationship but you told her you only want something casual. Make up your mind. Do you want something serious or casual? Let her know and proceed from there. Don't approach the c…
/r/seduction27/09/20 12:19 PM
2

Not all guys. I definitely enjoy foreplay, without I wouldn't enjoy sex.
/r/seduction10/09/20 04:19 PM
3

Not always. Some women can be too rough.
/r/seduction10/09/20 03:38 PM
1

I never implied being noble. Being noble and having basic decency are on different parts of the spectrum. The former is a plus, the latter a requirement for any healthy relationship. I simply called out that quote as an excuse many use for bad behaviour. And of course we all have some bad behaviour. Just like you said, we should be aware of them and in some cases embrace it. We shouldn't repress ourselves for anyone or it will harm us in the long run.
/r/seduction08/09/20 09:06 PM
5

I only have two suggestions for you: 1) Talk to a therapist. Your posts and comments point to some personal issues you need to work on with a professional before you even consider pursuing a romantic/sexual partner. 2) Shave your beard. It's best to have no beard, even if it makes you look younger, than what you have.
/r/seduction08/09/20 12:29 PM
2

That's because you shouldn't expect miracles. It takes hard work, time, and a good attitude along with a healthy dose of self-worth. Nothing you do will cause change overnight or even within a month or two. It takes at least several months to a few years to improve. If you are serious about improving yourself then act on it.
/r/seduction08/09/20 12:21 PM
169

Be curious about them. Ask open ended questions instead of yes or no questions. When they respond with more than a short phrase build up on it. What matters more is how they feel when talking with you than the actual topic.
/r/seduction08/09/20 07:14 AM
2

We're not. It's called basic decency. And that quote is just an excuse for all kinds of behaviour, usually bad ones.
/r/seduction08/09/20 07:11 AM
2

Your responses to other comments seemed to show you have a different attitude. As long as you are upfront about it.
/r/seduction08/09/20 07:10 AM
3

The problem isn't that you didn't know there are so many women on this thread so you used an offensive word. The problem is you feel it is appropriate to do so behind someone else's back as long as they don't find out.
/r/seduction08/09/20 04:54 AM
1

Then that's something you need to work on. You can show lots of interest without appearing desperate. It's as simple as telling her, "I'm interested in you, let's go on a date." and responding to her in a timely manner. If she doesn't reciprocate then move.
/r/seduction05/09/20 09:49 PM
1

Move on and next time don't 'play it cool'. That's a waste of time. If you are genuinely interested in her show it. If you aren't telling her and leave. But definitely don't play any games.
/r/seduction05/09/20 09:39 PM
2

It's 'vague' because it depends on the person. However, the core remains the same, don't pretend to be someone you aren't. Don't hide who you are either. And confidence gets you quite far. I've known plenty of horrible looking guys who hooked up or wound up in a relationship due to their confidence.
/r/seduction05/09/20 05:09 PM
14

Being authentic gets you much farther than looks with anyone romantically as long as it is not toxic or abusive behaviour.
/r/seduction05/09/20 05:06 PM
1

Had a similar issue when I moved a few years ago. There are plenty of Meetups but the turnover rate is so large it was difficult to find anyone who went to more than a few before disappearing. Right now it might be hard due to Covid-19 but look for hobby groups you are interested in. Preferably something that gets you moving or intellectually stimulating. Dancing, hiking, running, book club or art classes. After a while you will meet a core group you will get along with. Cultivate those connecti…
/r/seduction25/08/20 08:31 PM
3

She mentioned she didn't want to date and would say "it's not you it's me, i really have to work on myself" When someone tells you that take it as a no. There's no maybes in dating. It's either a clear yes or a no. If you waffle around with maybes you will waste time and wind up hurt. Move on to someone else or place her in the 'friend zone' without any expectations of something happening between you.
/r/seduction16/08/20 11:32 AM
2

Yeah you definitely have to watch out for that. Usually they come with other red flags which you can notice if you know what to look for.
/r/seduction16/08/20 09:00 AM
1

In any case you cannot fix skinny forearms and wrists, that's mostly about bone structure, which is innate. Up to a certain extent. You can actually build muscle there to make them bigger or stronger. Climbers and grapplers specifically train these areas for improvement. However, not many people know the proper exercises to work on these areas or how to use them effectively since it tends to be used for very niche purposes.
/r/seduction16/08/20 08:47 AM
1

I don't flirt with people at work unless they start. Then I'm quite direct about it in a flirty/playful way like saying "You're such a flirt!" or "I can't tell if you're using Jedi mind tricks on me or just flirting." If they are flirting then we can escalate and if not we just get a good laugh out of it and keep going about our business.
/r/seduction16/08/20 08:43 AM
3

Showing emotional vulnerability is one of the most attractive and confident things you can do. It compliments her by showing you're attracted to her or at the very least she gives you positive feelings and shows confidence since you're not worried about being hurt from showing emotions. Just be honest and direct.
/r/seduction16/08/20 08:36 AM
2

A while back I stumbled upon a post in r/FemaleDatingStrategy on how it is a red flag if you have deep conversations in most of your dates (she had 5 dates at the time). It really struck me as odd since I would expect by the 5th date to already have had some deep conversations to find out if you are compatible or not. Personally if someone can have deep conversations so often it makes them much more attractive to me.
/r/seduction16/08/20 08:29 AM
6

Funny how all the women in this post are being downvoted simply for giving their perspective while men are dismissing them. You'll get much further by actually listening and smiling naturally than strong eye contact.
/r/seduction15/08/20 07:33 PM
0

If he does decide to work on himself, build himself a career let's say, and moves on to meet high-quality girls, he would most probably be way ahead of competition (the average career man) in terms of experience. If he knows how to apply such experience. I've seen my fair share of guys who started off like him but found it difficult when trying to work on themselves or pursue serious relationships. Many of them do this from a place of weakness to cover their lack of self-confidence or self-value…
/r/seduction13/08/20 12:06 PM
7

Yeah, those videos are made in a way to appeal to our base desires. It's what hooks people in. Sometimes the YouTube videos are useful but don't fall down the rabbit hole. Some good YouTube channels you can use: • The Attractive Man • Charisma on Command • Improvement Pill • Mantelligence • Practical Psychology • Psych to Go • Anna Akanna • The Gentleman's Game • Sexplanations Work on building your social skills as well as learning more about psychology from actual psychologists & therapists, no…
/r/seduction28/07/20 12:39 PM
25

The vast majority of programs are rip offs, scams, or just combine information that's already freely accessible online. If you do join one make sure it is one that requires you to be physically present. At least then you'll have someone pressuring you to step out of your comfort zone and improve which is the hardest step to carry out. If you still want something to help you: • No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover is an excellent book covering the basics of attraction. It shows you how it's n…
/r/seduction28/07/20 11:31 AM
1

A lot of it comes from listening to others using such double meanings/sexual innuendos. If you just look for a list online or ask someone for them it won't feel natural. To someone on the outside it will seem like you're just going through a list. Which is a big turn off. What you should do is listen closely to other people when they flirt and if there's anything in particular you like then write it down for later use. Takes time but does pay off in the long run.
/r/seduction19/07/20 06:35 PM
1

Which study would that be? Several other studies show that warmth, intelligence, and good communication/listening skills are considered more attractive to women than money or physical appearance after some interaction.
/r/seduction18/07/20 07:12 PM
1

It could be that. Or a combination of all of them. It wasn't a controlled environment so I'm not completely sure. From personal experience though those particular compliments tend to have a much stronger effect than other ones I've used.
/r/seduction17/07/20 11:37 AM
1

Because when I was talking with them before their body language wasn't open and there was not physical touch or compliments. The conversations were pretty mundane. After the compliments several of them blushed and they all started laughing/giggling, joking around, smiling, grabbing my arm or leaning/resting on my shoulders and complimenting me. All behaviors they hadn't demonstrated before.
/r/seduction17/07/20 11:17 AM
2

I actually told a few girls that or something similar like 'I love your jacket! It really vibes with you!' They all became very flirty and receptive afterwards. Not many guys are confident enough to say that and genuinely mean it.
/r/seduction17/07/20 10:41 AM
1

Why? From what I and other friends have experienced, we weren't really comfortable with ourselves. When I first started, I had no problem being myself around friends & family or some random stranger but when I approached or talked to a woman I was interested in, all of a sudden I couldn't anymore. I had to pretend to be someone otherwise I felt bad. After much research, reflection, and talking it out I realized it was due to insecurities I had. We don't want to be judged but whenever we approach…
/r/seduction17/07/20 09:38 AM
1

"Toxicity is relative" no it is not. Toxic behavior is clear: consistently saying or doing things that hurt others or yourself whether intentional or not. A Google search on toxic behavior will show you lots of examples and definitions proving this. It seems that you're playing the victim when approaching this. It happens to all of us but doing it consistently is toxic behavior. Just because it is daily life for you it doesn't mean it is not toxic. To the contrary, it is even more so if you have…
/r/seduction17/07/20 09:26 AM
1

Valid point. However, like vardarac explained, it's a cop-out attitude. It's toxic and has no place here. Hence why people are downvoting it.
/r/seduction17/07/20 08:31 AM
3

Don't see it that way. He went in not expecting feelings but caught them anyways. He was upfront about them to avoid any future problems. It's toxic to hide such feelings and not do anything about them as you imply. The only bad things he did was hookup with her (if he was aware of her bf) and blackmail her.
/r/seduction17/07/20 07:24 AM
3

> the last one caught feels (stupid beta) That's rather toxic. There's no such thing as 'alpha' or 'beta' males, people are much more complex. Even if there were, I'd say that guy was behaving 'alpha' since he asked for what he wanted without ignoring his feelings.
/r/seduction17/07/20 06:48 AM
1

No, people don't like it when you project your opinions as truth
/r/seduction17/07/20 12:16 AM
5

/u/Vasja_227 You'd be surprised how successful that's actually been. When I invite them for a coffee or a snack at a local restaurant they refuse but when I invite them for a hike to a forest they typically change their answer to yes. However, it's typical in Germany to go on 'dates' in the forest. It's actually considered romantic by many women since hiking is a big part of German culture. In the US though it would be considered creepy. Cultural differences.
/r/seduction16/07/20 07:42 PM
1

Just look at all the people paying PUAs and self-help gurus thousands of dollars for improving social interactions. Men are willing to pay several hundred dollars for a single day of practicing how to approach strangers and get feedback. You could have a unique marketing brand by talking about your experiences going door to door and approaching people as a Jehovah's Witness. Unlike the PUAs you have a different perspective that's more solid and healthy.
/r/seduction16/07/20 04:09 PM
1

That's a good business idea for ex Jehovah's Witnesses: teaching people how to approach others
/r/seduction16/07/20 04:03 PM
322

• Double meanings or sexual innuendos. Just don't make them derogatory. • Flirting or compliments on something she wears, worked on or personality. They appreciate guys who notice the small things and observe more than just the physical. • Be interested in her not just sexually but also in other aspects. Talk about a shared hobby. • Touch her arm or hand. If she doesn't project any negative body language then move on to the shoulders & back. A hand resting on her shoulder or brushing your knees …
/r/seduction16/07/20 03:57 PM
2

No problem. Something else that may help you is the Feelings Wheel if you don't have enough vocabulary to identify your emotions. It helped me a lot. Keep it on your phone so whenever you're at a loss of words, just look at the wheel and find which ones you identify with the most.
/r/seduction16/07/20 03:50 PM
3

Gill Hasson has an entire series of books: Mindfulness, Emotional Intelligence, and Positive Thinking are a few. She also has some shorter pocketbooks (Confidence) which are good short summaries but I highly suggest you read the larger ones first then read the pocketbooks. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy by Avy Joseph is excellent for helping you reframe negative mindsets. Another good one by Stephen Briers offers a slightly different perspective but any you take will work well. How Emotions are Mad…
/r/seduction16/07/20 01:20 PM
1

Think back on your previous experiences with women. Are the first ones you think about positive, negative or neutral? If they're mostly negative then your self-esteem has to do with how you frame your experiences. You have to reframe them in a positive manner (how you do it is up to you) or stop thinking about them and remember positive ones instead. If they're mostly neutral chances are you're suppressing your emotions which is unhealthy. Think back on them and identify any feelings you have, n…
/r/seduction16/07/20 01:00 PM
1

I partially disagree with that. Self esteem is something you build, or at least maintain. You can rely on others for it but that just leads to unhealthy habits. Of course you can only do so much since getting rejected 100 out of 100 times will hurt any healthy person. That's why you should do or change your approach.
/r/seduction16/07/20 12:45 PM
8

Similar experience. Most girls just say they're bored and want to socialize but not go out on dates. What I've done is have a few phone dates (not video chats) and if we click invite them for a hike in a nearby forest or park. Otherwise I move on.
/r/seduction16/07/20 12:26 PM
3

I kind of figured since you've read lots of social psychology books but wasn't completely sure. Just wanted to clear it up for anyone else following this thread since most guys would take it at face value.
/r/seduction16/07/20 12:22 PM
3

Apart from having your place clean & not smelling have some fresh towels & toiletries. Not many guys think about it and girls appreciate it when you do. I was surprised at how much girls changed (positively) when they saw a clean restroom. It was like an instant turn on for most of them.
/r/seduction16/07/20 12:20 PM
2

I actually experienced something similar. After 2 years of reading lots of psychology books, working on myself, and going to social events I went from being a shy insecure guy without experience to a confident, adventurous person who flirts without thinking about it. I struggled with dating since I had been hurt years ago and never worked through my feelings. That lead me to always want to control my feelings no matter what. However, I confused controlling emotions with suppressing them. Most gu…
/r/seduction16/07/20 12:17 PM
6

#3 only works if you're extroverted or lean towards extroversion. Even then it can turn off most people. Lots of research shows if you talk a lot about yourself you'll feel good but the other person won't be as attracted to do. Make her do the talking and actively listen while providing good responses in the conversation.
/r/seduction16/07/20 11:28 AM
2

That's just dishonest and unethical. You're trying to take her away from someone by lying. How would you feel if: 1) Someone did the same thing with the girl you're seeing? 2) If she does wind up going for you, what is stopping her from doing the same thing with someone else, leaving you alone? 3) If she doesn't windup going for you, what is stopping her from completely cutting you off? Is it worth losing your friendship over something so superficial?
/r/seduction16/07/20 11:24 AM
1

This is actually very common in several European countries where dating is a relatively new introduction. People tend to meet as acquaintances, become friends then hook up at some point and wind up in a relationship. Just randomly approaching someone and demonstrating strong sexual or romantic interest can be off-putting. It causes many problems on dating apps between foreigners and locals since Americans tend to view Tinder/Bumble/Hinge as dating or hookup apps while Europeans view it as meetin…
/r/seduction16/07/20 11:18 AM
2

From personal experience dating older woman: just ask. Be direct. Most people at that age don't want to play games anymore and prefer being direct. You're not asking to be in a relationship or anything like that. You're just asking what she wants. First, you'll know what she wants and can decide from there how to proceed. Second, she will appreciate your maturity in asking. If she doesn't then it's your cue to leave before things get crazy. However, like /u/OrzhovPalantine said, you should also …
/r/seduction07/07/20 06:47 PM
1

Most of it is good advice except for #3 although that's probably because I'm located in Europe. In Germany, it's not uncommon for the woman to take the lead as they expect a 50/50 split from the beginning. Expect otherwise and you'll be considered old-fashioned or sexist. Leading too much or having too much initiative can actually scare women off here. It's pretty much the same in most of the German speaking and/or Nordic countries. Coming from Texas, this was hard to adjust to but it worked out…
/r/seduction07/07/20 06:26 PM
1

Good read on how to be comfortable with yourself. Honestly though, there's quite a bit of luck and timing involved in building romantic relationships. From personal experience the timing was never right or feelings weren't mutual. Always lived in the present moment, didn't expect anything from my interactions with others and have been straightforward with my desires and feelings. Plus, due to my job I'm usually aware of how others feel so I do my best to make them feel safe. Despite this, I'm al…
/r/seduction15/11/19 06:54 PM
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