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View 1 post and 42 comments by major92653 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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34

major92653/r/Divorce_Men20/07/19 06:27 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

If you are no longer living under the same roof, and you have the time, then date as soon as you want.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 03:52 AM
9

As a 10 year veteran of divorce, I like to pop in this sub every once in a while and see posts like this.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 05:42 AM
24

Mid 50’s divorced male, not in a relationship. I only wanted to comment to answer your question on “why don’t men have a fwb relationship instead”. I’ve been in and out of the dating game for close to 10 years, had a lot of dates, and I haven’t found any women who were suggesting only FWB. I know people find fwb’s, but I don’t think it’s as easy as some would think.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 01:05 AM
5

Yep. Your therapist is correct. You cannot believe anything your spouse says. She’s finding a way to blame you so she can justify a divorce. If you read around here a bit, or talk to other divorced men, you’ll find a LOT of similar instances. I came to reddit 9 years ago when I googled “divorce help for men” and it led me here. Now, I’m on the other side and come back to tell men they’re going to be OK. Just remember… if she says you’re wrong, it doesn’t mean she’s telling the truth. Believe in …
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 01:49 AM
9

Exactly the same scenario as I went through 9 years ago. Blaming you for her sadness, right? Did this come up out of nowhere all of the sudden in the past year? If she’s making up “problems” that you do, or didn’t do, then you have to dismiss her thoughts. She’s finding a way to blame you. She can’t be trusted with what she says because she’s trying to find a way out. Just because she says you’re doing everything wrong, doesn’t mean she’s correct.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 01:26 AM
4

She’s trying to come up with a way to blame you for the problem. Even if there’s no evidence. If she can blame you, then she can live with herself as being in the right, and you in the wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 02:52 AM
6

I had a good experience with therapy after divorce, and I liked my therapist. Not the norm from what I have read here on Reddit, but it worked well for me. I learned I wasn’t as bad in the marriage as my ex-wife made me out to be, she was responsible for the divorce as well, and I was also a good Dad. Basically the therapist reversed the ex-wife’s projections of being a bad husband and a bad Dad, and that was all I needed at that time.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 02:24 AM
1

Ok, so you want some fun, probably at night time, and then some chill spa time during the day. What country are you in? You said you’re introverted. Are you doing anything with friends, or going solo?
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 03:13 AM
1

You can go two different ways to celebrate. Do you want to break out and do something opposite, with fun and high vibes and celebrate? Or do you want to do something relaxing and release stress and making you calm? Pick up, or down, then let us know and we might be able to help you decide
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 02:51 AM
9

No judgement from me if you stayed at the gym and moved on, acted professional and just went about your life. Personally, I’d leave, it would be too much mental anguish at a place I want no pressure. I’d give the gym my notice and cancel. If they asked, I’d probably say something like “well, I’m sure you heard about our divorce because she was having sex in the gym. Oh, you didn’t know about that?”
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 05:55 PM
8

We were working on staying together, and one weekend she was in a great mood, all happy and I thought the therapy was working. Two days later in the therapist session, she said we needed to separate. Months later, I brought that story of the happy wife weekend up to my own personal therapist and he said “she probably knew that the divorce was ending and at that point she had moved on”. She was happy. Kinda stings to hear, but it was probably true.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 01:01 AM
11

I was a guy who was “till death do us part” and tried to save the marriage, but as my therapist told me, by the time it got to that point, she already made up her mind and was out of the marriage. I had to recognize the signs. I’m not going to tell you to stop trying, that’s for you to decide, but I can tell you there is another life out there for you to live in, and she’s not there cheating on you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 02:48 AM
2

Rather than recording her doing it, I wouldn’t give her the chance to do so. I would park 2-3 houses away, and walk the child to the door.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 02:02 AM
9

It’s nice to feel adored, isn’t it? No need to squash those feelings. I had similar experiences after divorce, and it’s a nice ride. Since you’re posting here, asking for advice, the only advice I would suggest is to just take your time, enjoy the process.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 01:15 AM
2

Bravo dude. Music, with the guitar, and real therapy are what I would call a good recipe for success.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 03:19 AM
2

I had all those same feelings. I remember being a bit numb for a while going through life. I’m not going to sell you on any secret to managing life after divorce, but I’m 8 years single, and I’m OK. One helpful phrase I learned was to “find some therapy, no matter what it is”.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 02:22 AM
19

I got divorced at age 47, with depression, OCD, and 2 sons ages 11 and 9. It’s been 8 years, and things turned out just fine. I didn’t stop being a Dad. As long as I could go to my son’s flag football games, their baseball games and we could watch movies, eat pizza, and watch football, I was happy. I wasn’t a very good cook, but I learned, and my now 19 and 17 year old boys love to come over for dinner when I’m cooking. The boys ended up fine, well adjusted, responsible and good kids, and that’s…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 06:01 PM
1

If it’s in her head that she wants out, you’ll never win. What was interesting to me, as a single Dad, divorced 8 years this summer (takes a bow, thank you, applause) is that I started dating at 47. I met many women that had been divorced and a LOT of them said that they just got tired of their husbands after a while. They wanted out. They were 80% happy, but wanted 100% happy. So no matter what you do, you can’t always fix it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 05:06 AM
16

If you retaliate, you’ll lose all respect people had for you, and your dignity will be at an all time low. That’s worse than where you are now. Don’t ruin what you still have. Honestly, if you and her were in my circle of acquaintances, I’d place all the blame on her. I’d question her dignity 10000x more than yours. Do you follow her on socials? Are you sure she’s happy and doing well? Or is that built up from imagination? Nobody is doing that great, so I doubt she’s living a perfect life.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 02:54 AM
8

It’s never good enough, right? I had a therapist tell me “I think your wife has an unrealistic expectation of marriage that you can never fulfill. For a lot of us, myself included, my actual family, and several friends, this is how it started. You try therapy, and you are 100% all in, but she doesn’t like the therapist, or she doesn’t like the message, and she’s not 100% in. You’re over there, doing a good job, as a Dad, and you have a family, and she’s got a house, a family, health and she’s st…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 05:17 AM
7

I like to come into this sub and read stories like this. I had the same revelation a few years ago, when I sat on my couch in my new single Dad apartment, and I enjoyed the quiet. You lose a lot in a divorce, but you gain a lot of freedom back, and if you can recognize it with refried beans and tacos, then you are on a good to moving on.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 06:40 AM
1

How could one see this as a bad plan? You’re moving on, and you have goals. I’m not going to shit on any man that has goals and dreams and a plan for his future.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 05:32 AM
3

It’s a plan, and an idea. Anything that shows you’re moving on after the divorce is always positive. You’ll be busy, focused and doing something different.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 03:50 AM
5

I felt that way in the beginning. Even talked to a therapist many times about it. Therapist asked me if these people were really important in my life. Turns out, they weren’t important, so he advised me to just let it go and continue living.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 05:11 AM
5

Deleted all pics off social media, but have them all backed up on hard drives.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 10:10 PM
9

Dude. I was told by my wife that she had some recently diagnosed PTSD, from an incident that happened before I met her. Came out of nowhere. I had no idea she was even seeing a therapist, or that this incident had ever happened. She never mentioned it, her parents, her sisters, her life long friend… never once. It was her way of starting drama, creating division, but in the long run it was her way of trying to just get out of the marriage. She had to create a reason to get out. That was the way …
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 06:14 AM
5

This is the way my friends. Appreciate your new freedoms, appreciate the peace and quiet. You’ll realize you put up with a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 06:12 AM
1

It’s in that junk drawer we all have in the kitchen.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 07:18 AM
26

Same story here. My therapist summed it up by saying “your spouse has an unrealistic idea of what a marriage should be, and there’s nothing you can do to make her happy”.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 07:09 PM
7

If it was me, I would drop my son off, make sure he’s inside, and I have seen the mother, and she is aware he’s there. Then I’d leave. I don’t want any part of their drama. If they wanted me to “sit down and chat, or stay for a drink” or anything like that, I would decline. I’d say that I’m not comfortable doing that. I will handle business with the ex regarding our son, and that’s it. Adios. But, that’s me. Your results may differ.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 04:01 AM
3

I’ve made a couple lady friends through online dating. Some people have no interest in being friends with the opposite sex, but anywhere you can find friendship or advice is a good thing. As with any friends, advice is good, but you don’t have to take everything they say as gospel. Use the advice to fine tune or tweak things, but don’t change who you are as a person.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/22 05:43 PM
2

For me, it took a year. Went through all the holidays, the kids summer breaks, school… all that. After one year, things weren’t as new or strange anymore. I did a therapist for the next 5 years, used prescribed medications and exercise. I’m about 6 years past the separation, 5 from the divorce. It’s good.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 04:00 AM
2

Hang in there dude. It gets better every day. It’s like a wound. It’s deep and painful, but it heals every day. As long as you both take care of the kids, you can deal with everything else.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/19 03:19 PM
1

This is a struggle for me as well. My boys are 12 and 14 and heavily involved in sports. One is going to high school and one is starting middle school. Lots of practices and games. So I chose to be close, and live in a smaller place and I can go to every party, every practice, every game and also coach and help out, even on my non custody days. I chose a smaller more expensive place to accommodate me and stay close. I got this place 3 years ago, knowing what their activities would be, so I chose…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/19 01:33 AM
3

You’re on the other side. You made it. Honestly, if I had known how content I was going to be, it would have made the divorce easier. It’s like being married and the spouse says “I’m going to visit my parents for a week”. The first thing you do is think about all the fun stuff you’re going to do. You call up friends, you take a nap on the couch, you cook a juicy steak, you watch sports... whatever you want to do, you now have more time to do it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/19 09:30 PM
2

We separated in mid August of 2016. I had started going to see a therapist before we separated, and I asked him “what do I say to my soon to be ex when our anniversary rolls around in September?” He told me to go out with friends, go have a great time, and just treat it like any other day because it’s not a special day anymore. I was hoping he would say something like that. I prefer to move on, not dwell on the past, and mine was a marriage where she just quit on the relationship, so I wasn’t to…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/18 04:31 PM
1

I would tell her what you think is wrong. She drinks too much. If she doesn’t stop, then tell her that you don’t want to stick around for the potential disaster that will eventually happen. She probably needs professional help to deal with this. If you both want to save the marriage, then you both need to go all in on fixing it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/17 09:31 PM
1

That’s a very common story around these parts. The lack of communication, the lack of sex, nagging, emotional affairs, etc. Personally, I think if you want to save the marriage then you need couples counseling to address the lack of communication. If both of you want to try counseling, then do it. If one of you doesn’t give 100% to therapy, it’s inevitable. It takes two to have a marriage. It takes one to get a divorce. You both have to want to fix what’s wrong or you’ll both be miserable. Good …
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/17 03:00 AM
1

You could do it for less if you do it yourself. A friend of mine did his divorce by himself and then had a legal friend look over the paperwork and submitted it. The easier and less arguing your divorce is means easier and cheaper. The more bickering and fighting probably means lawyers and money. There are always cheaper alternatives, but you get what you pay for
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/17 07:43 PM
4

Divorce is expensive, because it's worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/17 08:14 PM
2

I had an amicable divorce and it involved 2 kids (ages 10 and 12). We split house equity, community debt, retirement and belongings pretty easily and we didn't hire any lawyers. We used a mediator and it cost about $2,000 (US dollars) The key here is the word amicable. We really didn't argue too much over who gets what and how much. We started with a custody/parenting schedule and agreed on that, then split all the money and went our separate ways. If it's contentious, mediation may not work, bu…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/17 06:19 PM
1

If it makes the guilt go down a little bit, spend some money on the kids when they are with you. Buy a few extra clothes to have them take to the Mom's place and drop off some extra food when you return them to her. That way you aren't forced to spend $300 extra each month, and you know that the extra money you do spend on the kids will be used for them. I'm sure she would be fine if the kids came home in new shoes or in a new jacket.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/17 02:21 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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