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mar-uh-wah-nuh Archive

View 2 posts and 783 comments by mar-uh-wah-nuh on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

My friend, you are right in some respects but you are wrong in others. I agree that women have more economic control now than ever. Personally, I am recently married. My husband has been with me since before law school and makes less money than I do now. He takes on more of the domestic labor than I do, which I deeply, deeply appreciate. My brother, like my husband, is a similarly sensitive, nurturing soul. He loves his cat more than anything. I encouraged him to go back to school for a degree t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 11:01 AM
–

Yikes. This is extremely creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 12:04 AM
–

Agreed. Is this really a debate?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 05:04 PM
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I absolutely believe love exists. However, love is definitely more of a verb than some people believe. If you don't nurture your love by spending time your partner and showing appreciation for them through your words and actions, your love will shrivel. There have been a couple of times over the course of our long relationship when I didn't like my husband very much, but I still loved him. In those moments, I knew we could resolve any issues and conflicts by working through them together. Love c…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 05:51 PM
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I think that perspective is fair, with the caveat that not all people are honest and truthful. Many people do everything right and still get assulted or abused, for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 05:32 PM
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Honestly, I agree with you here (to an extent). There will always be intentionally deceptive men and women who use other people (for sex, money, attention, etc). However, a majority of people tell you who they are through their words and actions. My casual sex experiences have been overwhelmingly positive. In part, I think that's because I actively sought out men who respected women and seemed like generous sexual partners. That said, if someone doesn't want to have casual sex anymore after a sl…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 05:04 PM
2

Be the "exception," than. I am. My husband is. You can whine all you want but you need to take some responsibility for your choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 06:58 PM
2

Don't use dating apps. Don't engage with those women. I get it's difficult, but you need to take some responsibility for your choices. They don't deserve your time.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 06:56 PM
–

Once again, sorry bro. Even Gordon can't save you. However, therapy might help.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 07:43 AM
1

There are plenty of men who've had an abundance of casual sex and still end up in, and seek, committed relationships. There is no requirement in the modern world for men to "lose out" financially. Date women who make the same or more income than you do. Encourage your wife to go back to work post-pregnancy and take on a fair share of the domestic labor. Solved.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 07:31 AM
2

But, also, many women (particularly young women) have very irregular cycles. Many women also have no idea what signs to monitor to understand their fertility (sex after ovulation but before period is safe). They don't know how to track their temperatures and cervical mucus. You can blame piss-poor public sex education for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 07:22 AM
1

I would hazard a guess that young women today are far less likely to engage in sexual relationships with their supervisors. Doing so is no longer seen as necessary to get ahead in a majority of circles, and workplace sexual harassment is taken A LOT more seriously than in prior generations. Not to mention, the mainstream discourse among young women is VERY anti-age gap and anti-"grooming" in the context of sexual relationships. Also, you truly have no idea how legal hiring works. A lot of top la…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 04:19 AM
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Have fun in fantasy land!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 04:32 PM
1

Of course. However, to the young mind of a baby, toddler, or even a child, they just experience the event as abandonment by a primary caregiver, even if that caregiver was unreliable. Try explaining to a three-year-old that their their mommy still loves them, but she is an addict who can't take care of them. Then, try explaining that you're that child's new "mommy" now. It's even more complicated for babies who feel a deep connection with their caregivers but don't yet have the language to commu…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 07:55 AM
1

So? Being ripped from one's biological family at a very young age is an avoidable trauma in many cases. That's precisely why family reunification, when possible, is the gold standard in foster care. Adoption can be beautiful, but more often than not it can also be traumatic for all parties, especially the child. That is worth pointing out.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 07:40 AM
4

In part, yes. In other part, no. I love my career and my family. I would love to live in a society where a majority of people supported those around them, cherished children, and made sure their community members were safe, housed, and fed. Furthermore, I would love for men and women alike to either work or take care of the young and old, depending on their personal proclivites. If I lived in such a world, I would absolutely have a large family. If I knew my kids would be surrounded by loving ad…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 07:17 AM
1

Doubtful. I'd love to have a huge family. It's not only financially irresponsible to do so, but incredibly cruel to those children. We don't live in communal societies well-suited for large families in this day and age. I love my future children too much to subject them to an unnecessarily difficult upbringing. My husband feels similarly. Honestly, unless you have the financial resources and community support necessary to take care of a large family, it's selfish and cruel to have one.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 07:04 AM
4

Adoption can also be deeply traumatic for the adoptee, regardless of their adopted parents' best intentions. This fact alone gives me pause.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 07:00 AM
–

Well balanced take. Good job, OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 09:31 AM
9

That's not normal. I'm tempted to write the banned "c" word that rhymes with "hope." No normal married person has this attitude. Edit: Unless you married without actually knowing eachother like fucking idiots.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 08:43 AM
6

Nope. Break up. I'm not a puratin. I've contemplated temptation. Every single time that's happened to me I've either (a) reflected and realized I love my partner too much to betray them on such a fundamental level (thus prompting a conversation about how we can enhance our sex lives), or (b) ended the relationship immediately because I don't actually give a fuck about the other person and they deserve to find someone who values them for who they are and what they have to offer. Be an ethical slu…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 08:24 AM
9

I fully agree. And I find it really unfortunate (and sad)! There is so much to enjoy in human connection. I find the ever-so-common transactional and/or black-and-white thinking here among most red pill men (and some women) to be such a travesty. I can't see how their perspective could possibly serve their best interests in the long run.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 08:06 AM
10

Ugh. I love your original comment and your response here. This forever confirms why I explicitly sought out bi men when I was single. You guys seem to understand the nature of personal preference and true intimacy more than a sizeable chunk of straight men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 07:53 AM
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My husband doesn't fish in his own time, but he goes fishing with friends occasionally. I still think the list is reasonable. I, too, wouldn't want to date a guy who was really into fishing as his personal hobby, especially catch-and-release fishing. I'm ethically against fishing unless the caught fish are actually eaten later.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:12 AM
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Yeah, that's fair. I, personally, am not bothered by the occasional expensive hobby purchase (a nice bike, keyboard, etc.) However, I would be financially incompatible with anyone who spent a large chunk of their income on hobbies.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:03 AM
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Literally five of the positive activities the commenter listed are my husband's primary hobbies. I have never dated a man who had any of the negative hobbies the commenter listed (except for fishing, which I don't view as negative).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 02:54 AM
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It really depends. My husband occasionally play online chess or a multi-player game at a friend's house. I don't mind this kind of very casual gaming at all. However, in reality, I don't know any hobby gamers who actually just play for five hours per week on the regular. Also, even five hours of gaming per week is a lot to me. I would prefer to be in a relationship with someone who engages less with screens during their free time.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 01:21 AM
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So, he wants a women who is similar to women of the past? That is not progressive. That is the opposite of progress. Also, OP did not say he wants a "traditional" woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 12:48 AM
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Personally, I am turned off by men who are really into their personal social media presence. I'm very private so we probably wouldn't be compatible. I also refuse to date men who are into PC gaming (or gaming in general, really). I think the hobby can very easily take over people's lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 12:43 AM
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You can't be a progressive and want a "traditional" woman. Those two positions are inherently contradictory. Progressivism is the opposite of traditionalism.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 12:34 AM
10

I have no problem asking out men. I asked out my first serious boyfriend and my now husband. I was immediately turned off by men who wanted to go to expensive places on the first date. I would ask to split the bill 50/50 and found it very rude when men insisted on paying. I don't know what you mean by "lead," but I am very direct and have been the one to begin and end all my prior romantic relationships. Not all women expect or want men to "initiate, pay, and lead." Personally, I found that guys…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 09:28 PM
1

The economy sucks? Some people are self-interested to the detriment of self-respect. Many women don't care about men's money.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 07:15 PM
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Find a women in your price range? Sounds like the people who are telling you this are conservative, capitalist assholes. As a self-described "progressive," it's funny you can't see this. Some women don't care about money, are not materialistic, and/or are happy to pay their own way. Many "Western" women are high earners with careers who make the same (or a very similar) amount as their partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 05:07 AM
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I could not agree more. Passport bros strike me as quite sad. Instead of genuine relationships, they go for transactions. To me, relationships like that are not meaningful. But, if that kind of thing is what they want, more power to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 05:02 AM
8

Wonderful comment. Perhaps the best I've read on PPD. As an American woman, I completely agree with all your points. I love that my husband is sensitive, nurturing, and kind. I appreciate the fact that he has loving relationships with his female and male friends alike. I can't imagine wanting to be with a man who is not in touch with his emotions and feels he must repress the traditionally "feminine" attributes that he naturally possesses.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 10:23 PM
2

I think you are spot on here. In my opinion, this is the real reason many women would not want to support a SAHD.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/25 04:04 PM
1

Yeah. Idk. I'm assuming the woman is taking a maternity leave prior to going back to work. I'm also assuming the woman is not doing the "traditional mothering," whatever that means. I'm assuming the man is carrying the mental load of the household and doing the vast majority of the domestic labor.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/25 04:02 PM
3

I am coming at it from a personal perspective, to a degree, as my hope is for my husband to stay home when we have kids in the near future. I have a very autonomous/flexible job, however, which factors heavily into our decision. He also does a majority of the household labor as it stands. However, all your points are incredibly valid and reasonable. In an ideal world, both parents would be home with the child for at least the first 6 months to a year. I also don't yet know how our plan will play…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 09:06 PM
1

Eh, I understand where you're coming from to a degree. However, I think these issues can be mitigated with a highly supportive partner. After all, many SAHMs with infants who are breastfeeding kind of loose their mind (and identity) if their partner does not provide adequate support. In a sense, it makes sense for men to stay at home in order to share the burden that inherently comes with motherhood. A SAHD will have more time to actually do household tasks than a breastfeeding SAHM would. And a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 08:54 PM
6

You are absolutely correct on this front. It really comes down to who is the higher earner and if the family can subsist on their income alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 08:47 PM
2

Uh, this is such a silly argument. You're right, there are things men can't do. Only women can give birth and nurse babies. But men can bottle feed for pumping mothers. They can do night feedings and diaper changes. Men can cook, clean, and take care of the home with an infant. To me, this just sounds like you've never been in a relationship with a man who is truly helpful and takes initiative in the domestic sphere.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 08:42 PM
6

Her outfit was distasteful. She was obviously sexualizing herself there. How does Ice Spice, a provocateur, being provocative discredit what average women say about sexualization? There are many women who are sexualized for wearing clothes that would not be seen as sexual if worn by someone else, simply due to their body type. I am one of those women. Women like me who are naturally curvy/hour-glass shaped know what it's like to to be sexualized for wearing almost anything. I cannot wear a fitte…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 02:22 AM
0

And so? My immediate reaction is, "Wow, that's a really fucking stupid question. I'm not going to entertain it."
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 04:33 PM
0

Idk, man. Do some people (AND BOTS) say and do stupid shit on the internet? Of course. However, internet discourse about this topic does not represent the "average female worldview." I have never once heard someone bring up the man/bear question irl, and I interact with a lot of people in my day-to-day. I guarantee the average woman does not know or care about this topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 03:36 AM
18

Agreed. I really think the man/bear thing should die, though. It's so stupid. That said, I have no sympathy for the woman in the TikTok. Does she not have the ability to approach men?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 07:08 PM
3

Correct. I clocked this thought experiment as polarizing, reactionary drivel the moment I heard it. Not all women are the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 07:06 PM
6

How? The term is used primarily in two contexts: (1) to describe men who dishonestly manipulate women into having sex with them, or (2) to imply that all women who have casual sex actually want more than sex and are, thus, being "used" by men. There are many honest promiscuous men out there who are upfront about their desires to keep things strictly casual. Furthermore, there are many promiscuous women who have casual sex for fun without expecting or even desiring a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 11:37 PM
3

The term is often used by men who are broadly viewed (by most men and women) as unsavory and indecent. By calling yourself an "alpha male," you are associating yourself with that group of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 08:15 AM
3

How many women "flock" to Andrew Tate compared to the amount of women who criticize him? Most men criticize him, too. No; I am trying to encourage men to be decent people while also supplying actionable advice about traits that are perceived negatively by most women and men. Your value is not determined by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 08:11 AM
–

I honestly do understand where you're coming from. Generally, I think people tend to get defensive when asked to be accountable for other's behavior. That is my issue with "yes, all men" rhetoric. Men are often encouraged (and even expected) to take accountability for other men's behavior. Personally, I hope to judge people based on their individual character--not their immutable traits (like sex). However, given the social acceptably of "all men are bad" type statements, I can certainly see why…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 08:04 AM
4

No, I am noting that most women don't like men who specifically call themselves "alpha males." Using that term usually indicates a man is immature, insecure, and/or sexist. It's not revolutionary to state that women don't like these traits. There is no reward for not being immature, insecure, and sexist. However, you will CERTAINLY not be rewarded for these traits either. You should want to be a decent, healthy person for your own sake. Everyone should.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 07:54 AM
3

Hey, guess what, the Russian Revolution and Nazism (your only semi-modern examples) had little (if anything) to do with stripping women of their rights. Women played important roles in those movements and social change was not enforced on them against their wills (at least, not anymore than it was on men). I'm only using the word "progress" to refer to the passage of time. A lot of time has passed. Things are very, very different now. We have the internet, which has fundemently changed our socie…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 07:28 AM
–

Genuinely asking, why do you expect individual women to "take accountability" for women who "don't take accountability?" I'm not accountable for other people's actions (particularly those who I do not know).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 07:09 AM
5

One problem--women don't want so-called "alpha males."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 06:59 AM
0

Care to elaborate? I don't give a fuck about the brain dead man/bear thing. Use your words. I'm not "poking the bear" here.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 06:09 AM
1

I think if you told a lot of people what was going on now, maybe 10-15 years ago, they might not believe it. A lot of people are concerned about the direction of the government and call it fascist. Are you not at all concerned it could accelerate further? Our society could progess in all sorts of ways. I'm not clairvoyant. However, I don't think women's attitudes are progressing in the direction of the OP's reality at all. Quite the contrary. Furthermore, I think men who are disillusioned with t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 05:38 AM
0

You appeared to suggest OP wanted it to happen when he was just saying it likely would. And I don't think he suggested that it would instantly change the attitudes of women or make them consider most men worthy of dating like they used to, or anything like that. In fact he (or the AI) said "This does not require broad consensus, nor majority female support." Again, I am not contending directly with OP's claim. I don't know the likelihood of such a political movement (though it certainly does not…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 04:30 AM
2

Can you read? I never said that. I said: No takesies backsies when it comes to the perpetual march of progress. Things change. Social attitudes change. That means we cannot go back to a male-dominated society just by changing the law. It will take generations for that to happen (if it ever does happen again). We cannot erase all the events that have led us to our present moment. Social attitudes do not change overnight, regardless of any legal changes. I'm not advocating for any one political po…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 03:09 AM
8

Please read my other comments. I'm not discussing legal rights, my argument is about social attitudes. Taking away rights =/= changing social attitudes. You cannot turn back time. Social attitudes take generations to change. I fully agree that it's possible to change the law. However, restricting women's autonomy will not “takesies backsies” the decades that have led us to the present moment--a moment wherein almost all Western women value their rights and DO NOT want them taken away. These wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 02:55 AM
3

Here's a starting point: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legacy_of_the_Roman_Empire#Roman_law_and_politics
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 02:00 AM
4

You're just wrong. And I encourage you to brush up on your history. Roman philosophy is still HIGHLY influential and played a significant role in the devlopment of Western thought. Our legal system and political architecture in the United States is deeply inspired by Rome. Christianity had the same core values of societies before rome No, it did not. roman culture got mostly erased only return during enlightment How can an erased culture return? Nothing is ever truly erased.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 01:23 AM
5

You know back in the 90's women were more conservative than men were. So you're wrong to presume leftist progressives are always correct. Point to a specific place in any of my comments where I presumed "leftist progressives are always correct." i dont care about love, i just want men to be the only ones that can vote Good for you. OP's post is about changing society to rectify some men's perceived sexual and romanic exclusion. I'm responding to that premise.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 01:17 AM
8

It's liberal feminist women who routinely say we're living in some sort of handmaid's tale world and that they're scared of the rapid rise of 'fascism' under Trump, how it's 'just like the Nazis' (who did indeed make massive social changes in a quick period of time), how scared they are, etc. I'm assuming you're such a liberal feminist. So which is it? Is feminism unstoppable, women's rights under no real risk, everything is inevitably pro-woman and great, or not? Wow. Lots of assumptions about …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 01:13 AM
9

Pointless position No. That position is my entire point. It took centeries for Rome to fall. The whole world regressed years of cultural and technological advancements. Sure, but it did not revert back to how it had been before. Rome no longer existed. People were still different than they had been before the fall of Rome. If you have the population with the same values they had it don't matter. Values did not revert back to what they were before when Rome fell. In fact, Roman culture, administr…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 01:00 AM
10

Preceisely. Thank you. That is exactly what I am trying to express here.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 12:45 AM
7

you're wrong because your assumption is being left leaning is the only correct way to think, be and live. No, I am not. I'm just noting that the vast majority of young Western women DO NOT want their autonomy stripped from them. Changing the law will not change their minds. Way to many modern women love traditional aspect and the vast majority of men realize how greedy and hypocritical women are. You are demonstrating my point. Even if you take away women's rights, they still will not love you o…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 12:42 AM
10

Rome did not fall in a day, and it did not revert back to the Rome it had been before. That is my point. You cannot turn back time.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 12:40 AM
2

We are talking about homeless shelters. What are you talking about? Homeless shelters and "women's shelters" (i.e., DV shelters) are not the same thing. I would love to see DV shelters for men. See my comment: I completely agree that there's not enough resources or support for male DV victims. I'm not sure why that recognition is incompatable with anything else I wrote. I support male-only DV shelters (if desired) or funding for any other resources male victims need to help them get out of abusi…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 12:22 AM
2

I completely agree that there's not enough resources or support for male DV victims. I'm not sure why that recognition is incompatable with anything else I wrote. I support male-only DV shelters (if desired) or funding for any other resources male victims need to help them get out of abusive situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 12:19 AM
1

Most (if not all) homeless shelters receive some federal, state, or local funding.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 11:58 PM
5

Progress, in the sense I used it, is value-neutral. I'm refering to the ways things evolve (i.e., progress) over time. My argument is that you cannot rewind to a prior point in history. Social attitudes, opinions, and laws have progressed in so many ways from the point in time when OP's views were more commonplace. Roe v. Wade was not erased but overturned (and caused ongoing outrage I might add--spurring states to codify abortion rights into law). In fact, polling shows people are more in favor…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 11:56 PM
1

Are you actually kidding me? People complain about where homeless shelters are built all the damn time (regardless of what population the shelter serves). Domestic violence shelter locations are not made public in a majority of cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 11:25 PM
16

You can threaten women all you want. It doesn't matter. No takesies backsies when it comes to the perpetual march of progress. Things change. Social attitudes change. Sure, you can attempt to legally restrict women's autonomy and implement a high-control society, but it will certainly not happen to the extent you want within your lifetime. It will take generations for attitudes about women's rights to regress to the extent you want them to (if they ever actually do). You can't reverse social pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 10:25 PM
2

Sometimes I feel the need to overexplain on this sub. Lol. I think it really depends on the woman in question. For me, my preferences have more to do with other senses. Abs can be visually attractive, but I definitely prefer cuddling and touching men who are not super lean. So, for a hookup, I'm really not sure. That wasn't something I thought about back then, I just usually went for men who were my type (which would be the "strong dad bod.")
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 10:56 PM
4

I'm not attracted to guys who are lean and musclar, even when I was single in my teens/early 20s. However, I definitely find fitness attractive. Guys with muscles and some extra fat ("strong dad bod," if you will) have always been my ideal type. I'm relatively fit (thin and flexible) and was even more fit when I was younger. I do yoga/pilates and go on hikes frequently. I think a lot of women are referring to the "strong dad bod" when they talk about dad bods. Edit: Also, most men are the same w…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 10:13 PM
5

Yeah, pretty much on that front. I will never beg someone for love, commitment, or marriage. Either they want me or they don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 08:04 PM
6

Redemption without an attempt at restitution and just punishment is stupid. Restitution is not strickly punitive--it's restoritive. My issue is specificially with retributive punishment. Yes, I agree, just punishment is stupid. That is what I take umbridge with. We punish 15 year old boys for crimes committed by men not even related to them 150+ years ago. And we've been doing it for 50 years. No we don't. Anything less than punishing all the women who acquiesced to that (which is about 98% of a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 08:01 PM
5

Let me put it this way, a man who I have to incentivize to marry me is not worth my time. I don't even care about marriage, even though I am married. We married for tax purposes (and because he wanted to get married). Either a man wants to be my life partner or he doesn't. If he doesn't, he can leave. I've never been willing to waste my time with men who don't want me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 07:46 PM
6

Justice is never hateful. Punitive consequences are NEVER justice to me. Redemption is justice.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 07:36 PM
15

So? I don't live in the past. I live in the present. Financial coercion used to incentivize women to get married. Now women can support themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 07:27 PM
8

I made a post yesterday pointing out how society is biased against men committing to relationships, and a common response to my points was "but men can also do X", missing the whole point that its not in their interests to do so because of differences biologically, psychologically, between men and women and their intersexual dynamics. Here's the thing. Race and sex are not choices one makes. Whether to adhere to traditional gender roles is a choice. You can choose not to enter into traditional r…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 07:22 PM
41

That attitude is such a red flag. You shouldn't have to incentivize someone to marry you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 06:58 PM
0

No they wouldn't? I wouldn't? I'm not a materialistic person. I make good money on my own. My attention and affection cannot be bought.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 06:38 PM
9

I'm not going to counter your obtuse and purposely bad-faith comment. It would require more effort than its worth, honestly. You are working off of a punitive and hateful attitude that cannot be rationally engaged with (and you know it).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 06:25 PM
0

Maybe the women in your circles are shallow and don't have a lot going for them besides their looks. That is not how women compete in my circles. Granted, most of the people I hang out with have post-graduate degrees. Among educated women, having a financial provider man is simply not a flex.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 05:57 PM
1

I don't respect shallow people (which, truly, has little to do with hotness). They can go off and create whatever dumb little social competitions they want. I also don't think this comes down to "hotness." I am a slim woman in my 20s who is polite and friendly. I have a youthful face and long, undyed hair. I don't wear makeup and I dress fairly modestly. Throughout my adult life, I've received a ton of male attention from conservative, "provider-type" men who want a traditional relationship. Tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 05:45 PM
20

Nearly 100% of resources for the homeless do not go to women. Lmfao. The fact that said homeless shelter was "men only" had NOTHING to do with the reason it was protested. It was protested as (a) a bandaid solution for NY's housing crisis (since homeless shelters do not solve the problem of homelessness), and (b) neighborhood residents' concerns about safety. Furthermore, there should be far less men and women in U.S. prisons. Our prison population in the U.S. is enormous compared to other count…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 07:46 AM
5

Pro‐capitalist forces co-opted a liberatory social movement to dilute its message and mitigate its impact on the capital owning class. Wow, how shocking. More news at 11.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 06:34 AM
8

If men turn their attention in this direction, I will support their efforts wholeheartedly. I want all people to be free from obligatory gender roles and sex-based sterotypes.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 03:36 AM
2

This is just stupid. No. I'm not sure what world you live in, but it's not my reality. I don't think men are all liars. I also would never date a liar. I don't beg men to love me. When I was single, I would NOT entertain lukewarm interest. Not all people are desperate and insecure. I've been with my now husband for almost a decade. I don't ever doubt that he loves me, even in the slightest. I trust him completely.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 02:34 AM
2

No. If I doubt my partner, I talk to him. If I don't trust my partner or their love for me, I break up with him. I have no patience for games.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 02:08 AM
2

Okay, so you do have trust issues. Got it. Healthy people don't behave that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 01:57 AM
6

Do you have trust issues? I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone if I doubted their love for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 01:30 AM
1

Are you hot? It's difficult to judge the quality of one's own attractiveness. I know I'm definitely attractive to some men, judging by the unsolicited male attention I get fairly often. I'm 100% certain my husband thinks I'm hot. Why does that matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 01:21 AM
2

That's awful. I'm sorry for your friend. Yes, not all stay-at-home spouses are good ones. And, yes, I definately think there needs to be a lot of trust and mutual agreement about general responsibilities, contributions, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 01:18 AM
4

I mean, I've had several friends express to me how much they wish their partners would step up around the house more like my husband. I've also had friends complain about having to make career sacrifices for the sake of their partner's career advancement. My circle consists mostly of women and men with post-graduate degrees. No one in my circle is judging me for having a wonderful, creative husband who cooks homeade meals for me every night, supports my career, and puts cute notes in my work bag…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 12:40 AM
6

I don't think that's true, at least in my circle. I make more money and work more than my partner. He does the vast majority of the domestic labor. I have never felt any sort of judgment from other women. However, I think women who work more than their partner (or a similar amount) and also do a lot more of the domestic labor are judged (or pitied rather) by some of the women in our circle. I don't judge them as people, but I do feel bad for them and judge their husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 12:16 AM
7

I some cases. I also view some men who pay for everything at the beginning of a relationship as being taken advantage of. However, it all depends on how the parties involved feel about the situation. In a marriage, I definately don't view women who "pay for everything" and have SAHD husbands as being taken advange of; likewise for men with SAHM wives.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 12:09 AM
4

I don't agree. I've had women tell me how lucky I am to have such an amazing partner because of his cooking skills or the way he treats me, never for monetary reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 12:06 AM
22

Uh, maybe shallow or materialistic women hold such beleifs. I don't have a favorable opinion of women who brag about men "paying for everything" in the relationship. To me, bragging about men providing you with free things indicates poor moral character and/or deep insecurity.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 11:59 PM
12

I agree that "gold digger" types exist. I never said they didn't. I think transactional relationships are gross. Again, the solution seems pretty easy to me. Don't date women who make significantly less money than you, are materialistic, or otherwise seem to be using you in some way. Furthermore, you also have the option of choosing not to enter into committed relationships. If you think the risks associated with commitment are just too great, regardless of the women in question, you don't have …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 09:19 PM
18

Maybe you should tell your family to stop presenting you with marriage proposals. If you don't want to get married, that is your prerogative. Don't let other people pressure you into a relationship you don't want. In what way did I defend women who are financially abusing men?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 09:10 PM
13

Are women begging you for commitment? If so, they are probably not compatible with you. I'm not. I would never date a financially abusive person. I think financial abuse is wrong. If you feel you are being financially abused, I encourage you to end your relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 09:05 PM
1

Did I somehow imply that you were? Providing a counterexample to your broad, generalizing claim does not imply that I thought you were specifically talking about my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 08:57 PM
17

I think that's completely fair. I'm not conceding, I just don't think your problem needs to exist. If you don't want to be in a committed relationship, don't be. It's not that hard. Are women begging you for commitment or something? If you think women are hypergamous, then it sounds like you've already made up your mind about your options. Lots of people don't want to get married and/or want an equal financial relationship. I, personally, make a lot more money than my partner. However, if you do…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 08:55 PM
2

You're making a claim about "most guys." As someone who has literally never been asked about my body count, I am providing one of many counterexamples. A lot of men do not care about "body count."
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 08:47 PM
20

Most states don't recognize common law marriage. Of those that do, it usually is quite hard to establish. All of this seems silly. If you don't want to be stuck holding the bag in the event of a divorce, date women who don't want to get married or who earn the same amount or more than you. Edit: Also, are women really complaining about men's lack of commitment en mass?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 08:44 PM
1

You're 100% correct. And, imo, it's pretty obvious after a few dates if the other person has an unhealthy relationship to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 08:33 PM
1

Doubtful. It's been a decade and we're married. He still hasn't asked for my "body count." If I asked for his "body count," he'd think I was making a murder joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 08:31 PM
–

Yikes. I would run for the hills if I were you. She sounds incredibly entitled. I know this question is not directed at women, but I am the provider in my relationship. If my husband acted like that when we first started dating, I would have no interest in being a provider for him. I love providing for my husband and family because hes generous with his effort, support, and care. He does so much for me in non-monatary ways, even before I became a high earner. He is not demanding or materialistic…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 08:16 AM
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I'm not sure which leftist circles you're in, but my irl circle is class politics all the way down. We hardly ever talk about gender dynamics except to discuss how online gender discourse seems like an intentional, divisive distraction designed to fracture the working class on yet another front.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 06:22 AM
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How does the popularity of romantic fantasy indicate that most women want to "feel" like their partner is "above" them? Your response is a non sequitur. I fail to see a logical connection here. Furthermore, you do know romantic fantasy is not a monolithic genre and that many women do not even read romance novels, right? Where's the statistical evidence supporting your claim? My anecdote, as limited as it may be, is still more well-supported than your baseless generalization.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/25 01:07 AM
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I'm sure you're being sarcastic here. But, if not, I'm truly glad you have a partner who is a good match for you!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 11:13 PM
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This is horseshit. The vast majority of people pursuing degrees are funded, in part, by their parents. I write this as a woman who has been financially independent since the age of eighteen. I moved out at seventeen. I funded my own education through scholarships and full-time work. I know very few same-age peers (mid-20s) who share my experience. Financial independence has nothing to do with sex in 2025.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 10:31 PM
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Amen. This sub makes me feel so grateful for my husband sometimes. This post is a perfect example.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 10:25 PM
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Who the fuck wants to "feel" like their partner is above them? What does that even mean? I am the provider in my marriage and I absolutely do not feel like I am "above" my partner for making more money than him.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 10:14 PM
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Speak for yourself. My goal is to earn enough so that my partner can quit his part-time job.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 10:09 PM
2

I can only speak for myself here. I don't wear makeup (literally never have) and have nice skin, a youthful face, and very long, healthy, and undyed hair. I am hit on constantly by men of all ages and political persuasions. I'm married so I don't entertain the attention, but not wearing makeup has always seemed to me like an advantage in dating. Granted, again, this is just my personal experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 07:53 AM
6

Thank you for your perspective. The data consistently shows that children do best with their biological families. Adoption can be a beautiful thing, but it is often deeply traumatic for the children involved. As I'm sure you know, that's why family reunification is currently the desired outcome in most foster care cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 07:40 AM
6

Some men are also willing to excuse abusive behavior by men towards women. However, not all women (or men) are abuse apologists. I agree that abuse towards men by women was not as recognized or criticized in prior generations. However, I think that attitude is changing. I don't personally know any women my age (20s) who thinks it's acceptable to abuse their male partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 05:24 AM
10

Some men yell at and insult their partners for the most non-malicious minor mistakes, too. Men and women who behave this way are equally at fault. Being a bad, disrespectful partner is not a gendered phenomenon.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 05:17 AM
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Literally none of the things I listed would offend a well-adjusted women on a date. Most single women I know complain about the men who are not interested in their lives, not the men who ask them questions about goals, values, and lifestyles. I have never heard a women complain about men asking important compatibility questions. Never. Not all people are compatable. It's not "misogynistic" to not want to date someone who you don't get along with and doesn't add value to your life. It's fine to a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 07:04 PM
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Your example is seriously body count? Again, this response is extremely telling. I've never once had a conversation with my husband, who I've been with for almost a decade, about body count. If I brought up the subject, he would think I was making a joke about dead bodies. There are so many non-sexual things well-adjusted men look for in women. Healthy people value compatability with their partner. No one shames men for asking women about their goals, their career, how they spend their time, wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 06:32 PM
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Yes. I do think most men expect more than a vagina in their partners. As they should. I bring a lot to my relationship and husband tells me as much everyday. You're the outlier here.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 03:14 AM
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You're just telling on yourself with this response. I would never date a man without a penis. However, I need a lot more than that in a man. Most men (and all well-adjusted men) also need a lot more than a vagina in a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 03:03 AM
1

Some of your points are valid. Giving up a child without the father's consent is abhorrent. However, there are cases, such as abuse, rape, and incest, where I can completely understand a woman's decision to not notify the biological father of the child she births and gives up for adoption. I would like to see a source for your paternity fraud statistic. That seems extremely high on a population level. The point that I take issue with the most is your claim that this problem is somehow not relate…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 08:35 AM
1

No. And that's a problem. However, a lot of women can't abort either. Rape victims of either sex should ALWAYS have the choice to opt out of parenting with their rapists.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 08:26 AM
1

Absolutely not. I don't know a single person who would agree that a rape victim (of either sex) should pay child support. I'm sure those crazies exist, but they are not the majority of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 08:24 AM
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Stop projecting. Many women, myself included, don't entertain toxic relationships. Attraction and personality are equally important, particularly to women who have strong values, care about long-term planning, and work hard to achieve their goals. Attractiveness will never make up for a bad personality to women who are confident, secure, and self-efficacious. I don't "want a spin" with a man just because he's hot. What a stupid way to live.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 02:43 PM
3

I complety agree. I like the way you frame this issue as a perpetual feedback loop. The reality is that both men and women are harmed by online gender discourse. Men reduce women to sterotypes, belittle their struggles, and withhold empathy. Women reduce men to sterotypes, belittle their struggles, and withhold empathy. As a result, everyone involved feels more disconnected, misunderstood, and resentful. However, the endless cycle of blame and bitterness is entirely missing the point. We are all…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 07:24 PM
3

I am a married women who is worried about lonely young men, both on a personal and a societal level. I don't care, and never have cared, about "men approaching women." I simply don't understand either side of this conversation. If you want to talk to someone, approach them. If you don't, don't. It's not that complicated. If someone has an issue with normal human interaction, that is not your problem. I'm worried about lonely men (and women, for that matter) because social ties are important for …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 06:44 PM
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What the actual fuck is this post.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 03:26 AM
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The Earth is round. Lillth is a perpetual troll. These are the truths of PPD and the universe.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 06:28 AM
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What? Some men and women are less direct communicators than others. "Gray zones and mind reading" are not women's "natural way of being." Some men are equally turned off by directness as some women. Alternatively, some men love women who are direct and straightforward. Some women love men who are direct and straightforward. There is nothing sex-based about this preference. Personally, I find vagueness the antithesis of romance. It's not fun to me. I need a man who, like me, clearly and precisely…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 06:21 AM
2

I see. This is just some sexist bullshit. That makes absolutely no sense. I support my family. My husband makes a lot less than I do. Please explain to me why women should be taxed more than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 08:32 PM
1

I am happy to pay taxes. I donate to charity frequently and financially support my community and family. I am one of the rare people who has found financial success despite the fact that I grew up in a low-income household. I attribute my current position to luck, my wonderful partner, and the privileges I've received in my life. I'm actually closer to a top 5% income earner than I am to a top 1% income earner (I just checked). Not that it matters--I still make more money than most Americans. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 08:19 PM
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By "not taught" I mean "not taught by society to recognize or understand these particular harms that men experience." That is changing. I think many of the lessons society teaches are harmful and wrong, including the lesson that men who are victims of sexual or domestic violence are "weak," and that "weak" men are "bad." I reject these antiquated, simplistic beliefs wholeheartedly. Our values as a society are constantly evolving. We now recognize many previously ignored issues. The issue at hand…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 05:41 PM
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I completely agree. The same goes for male victims of domestic violence. Women aren't taught how to show appropriate empathy and understanding when confronted with their male partner's traumas related to sexual abuse and domestic violence. I try to "be the change" in this regard. I am incredibly supportive and understanding of my husband's experience as a victim of physical abuse by his ex-girlfriend. I would never think less of him because he was abused. I think a lot of women (but not enough, …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 04:14 PM
1

I sounds like you care about your girlfriend and understand the importance of effort and devotion. If you are happy, you have not settled. Don't let my (or anyone else's) subjective opinions and biases impact your perspective on your relationship. You know yourself and your relationship best.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 07:01 AM
1

To me, yes. Maybe not to you. Do you feel like you settled? I was very selective in choosing my husband. He was likewise very selective in choosing me. We both had other options and were not desperate for a relationship. Do you love your partner for who she is? Her looks, personality, values, interests, outlook, and the way she lives her life? If so, you have not settled. If you wish she was different in some fundamental way, that, to me, is settling.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 06:39 AM
1

I see what you mean. Individualized advice is usually best in every situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 06:32 AM
11

You would be a free rider. My mistake. I edited my comment as you were responding. Social programs do not "incentivise women to reproduce with deadbeats." Do you have any studies to back up your assertion? I don't have moral authority over you, but I am free to express my opinion. You are an immoral person. I prefer not to see suffering around me. That's the difference between you and I. I'm not a Christian. I am, however, a human being. You should try it sometime.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 03:45 AM
13

If you didn't pay taxes, you would be a free rider. You benefit tremendously from public works and social spending, whether you realize it or not. Your proposed world would be a dystopia. You seriously, as a human being, would have no problem walking by starving children on the street? If so, you are a deeply antisocial person who needs to do some serious self-reflection. When one sees suffering around them, no normal, healthy person would react with callous indifference. It's not moral, logical…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 03:25 AM
8

You will not die if you don't have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 03:14 AM
13

You're not obligated to care about anyone, including your relatives. If you wish to live in a dilapidated, dangerous, and struggling community, be my guest. Personally, taking care of my community makes my life and day-to-day experience more vibrant. Being a valued member of my community means that I know and trust my neighbors and would have ample support and care should I ever fall on unfortunate times. Not only that, helping others also enriches my local economy, arts scene, and the general c…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 03:08 AM
11

Why? Those people make up your local economy and community. Selfishly, you shouldn't want desperate, lonely, and hopeless people in your community. You should want to improve the trajectory of the people who live within your society so that they can contribute to and enhance your local culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 02:52 AM
5

Exactly. I've never done the bare minimum in my relationships. I expect my partner to match my level of care and effort (within reason, of course, we all go through rough times). OP's attitude is perfect for men who only want to date women who also put the bare minimum into their relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 02:47 AM
21

I am a top 1% income earner. I'm a feminist. I've never received public benefits. I will continue to advocate for social programs. There is no reason for children, the disabled, and the elderly to starve in the richest country on Earth. Nothing you say will convince me otherwise. If you don't like the "welfare state," I encourage you to take care of the people in need in your community and family. That's what people used to do. Until we change the selfishness and greed of our society, we need so…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 02:38 AM
11

This is an interesting response. Im often skeptical of the concept of AFBB, but when framed in this context, I can clearly see parallels to relationships I've observed in my own life, particularly amongst people who are my parent's age and older. However, I think a lot of women in those relationships are also "settled for" insofar as they are not loved for who they are, but for simply being an available and interested woman. I agree with your argument. When I consider the relationship advice I w…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 02:26 AM
1

That does not apply to all relationships. All bad relationships, yes. However, not all relationships are bad and one-sided. My partner and I both do things to make the other person feel special every single day.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 12:36 AM
2

Precisely. Romance should go both ways. I do little things for my partner every day because I love him. He does the same for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 12:33 AM
2

Honestly, white collar men should just stop working to take care of their households and families. Men are already falling behind women when it comes to educational achievement. Maybe men are just not as well suited to the modern workforce as women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 04:50 AM
1

Do you have evidence to support your assumption?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 02:24 PM
1

Why reply to my comment then?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 01:58 PM
1

Cool. That's not me. Nice try, though!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 01:41 PM
5

Why are you praising me? I'm just providing a counterexample to this commenter's worldview. I don't need your (seemingly pejorative) validation.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 08:25 AM
4

Thanks! Good luck 👍 I guess...
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 06:58 AM
3

Not everyone lives in your tiny little regressive bubble. Yes, many men WOULD like to work part-time and take care of their households and families. Men are just as good at this kind of work as women. Ideally, from a biological and practical perspective, young fathers and mothers should both be home with new children for the first year or two. After that point, there is ABSOLUTELY NO reason why men cannot be primary caretakers for children. It all depends on the relationship and the unique stren…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 06:52 AM
6

Are you saying men can't be good teachers, carers, and fathers? Why does the man's career need to be prioritized in the relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 06:34 AM
1

Can we both take the deal for $20 million? Of course I would. I would beg my partner to do the same. I am 1000% certain we would both be completely fine with either arrangement. $10 million would be life changing for us.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 06:17 AM
2

Lol. Source?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 06:14 PM
8

Absolutely not. I would NEVER date someone who I didn't align with politically. There is nothing attractive, masculine, or desirable about conservatism to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 06:12 PM
0

I would rather die than date myself as a man. He'd be too fucking pretentious and argumentative. No thanks. Edit: To the people answering in the affirmative, did you not heed the lesson of the myth of Narcissus? Damn.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 01:26 AM
1

Your experience is NOT universal. I get antsy when my partner and I go a week without sex. I could NEVER be in a sexless relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 02:48 AM
7

I think there are more women than these two types. Casual sex preferences are not black and white. Furthermore, there are a lot of different reasons why a person may or may not engage in a certain behaviors. That said, I fit pretty neatly into group two when I was single. I didn't like the artificiality of dating apps. In order to know whether I'm attracted to someone, I first need to see their body in motion (i.e., I have a hard time gaging my interest level from pictures alone). I also think m…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 07:14 PM
2

https://www.np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/s/RT7F3lNbWe
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 09:03 AM
1

THAT IS NOT NORMAL. I've been with my partner for almost a decade now. We've never hit eachother. I'd never DREAM of hitting him. We've had some significant fights, as any couple would. All of them have made us stronger. None of our disagreements have EVER involved physical violence. If your partner hits you, you should leave. No one should ever disrespect you and your body like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 08:57 AM
1

That's so, so sad. He deserves better. I hope he leaves. It's very hard for people to leave abusive relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 08:53 AM
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You are right. Might I direct you to: https://www.np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/s/RT7F3lNbWe
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 08:50 AM
2

I hate that some women are so cruel about such things. Trust me, they treat other women, like me, who are not mind readers, the same way. It's not your fault for being a normal person. At the end of the day, would you actually want to be in a relationship with someone like her? I wouldn't. I value directness.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 08:45 AM
3

Yes. Personally, I don't want a man who can't handle normal ceilings. Lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 08:36 AM
3

You are absolutely right. However, as this commenter indicated, you are missing the point. I've lost at least 15 pounds over my near-decade long relationship. I've never been overweight (I went from "skinny fat" to "fairly fit.") My partner has not noticed my weight loss. I've asked and he seriously does not notice. He thinks I'm incredibly hot regardless. I, too, find him just as attractive as the day we met. This is the dynamic, I think, that a lot of women want.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 08:12 AM
1

https://www.np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/s/slXy78zcNd
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 07:27 AM
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Okay? I am a woman with a vulva. I've had it for my entire life.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 07:08 AM
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Get out of here with this bullshit. I orgasm nearly every time I have sex with my long-term partner. He's amazing. We're sexually compatable and he prioritizes my pleasure. Do I post about that? Fuck no. Why would I? I don't need advice. Our sex life is great and I am very happy with my lot in life. Do you not understand how and why my comment, as true as it is, just sounds like an out-of-touch brag?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 07:02 AM
4

This is really interesting! All the more reason to not use dating apps, imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 05:54 AM
3

What statistics? I'm interested in reviewing your source. That could be true. Still, I don't really think most of the things you listed are signs that someone is cheating on their partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 05:34 AM
14

Besides bullet point number one, all of these things are just signs that a person is looking for casual sex and not a relationship. From what I've observed, people typically cheat with other people who've they met in person (i.e., at school, work, a party, a bar, etc.)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 05:27 AM
0

My friend, I'm in a happy long-term relationship. My dating life does not and has never sucked. I'm genuinely glad you love you wife. However, for some people, their partner having dumb hobbies is a deal breaker. That is my only point here.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 03:57 PM
1

No, they're just super bought into consumerism. Hook, line, and sinker.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 03:55 PM
5

I get your point here. However, I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to date people who are into trash content. People are allowed to have standards. Personally, I would never date a man who was into marvel movies or who played video games regularly. To that end, I think it's perfectly reasonable for a men (and women for that matter) to hold the line at disney adults. I can't imagine building a life with someone whose main hobbies I find distasteful or stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 03:39 PM
3

See, that's what I meant by "whether you do online or irl dating, you're going to face rejection." If a woman doesn't text back, it may have had nothing to do with you. She may have really bad social anxiety, was in the middle of a really busy time at work, got back together with an ex, reconsidered whether she was ready to date, moved states, etc. It sounds like you HAVE had women text you back, though, is that right? Look, I'm not saying dating is ever easy. However, I think some men fear wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 04:07 AM
2

I'm not sure what you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 03:45 AM
–

(1) The reasons why people have issues with their sex lives are not always about chores. (2) Would you want to fuck someone who you had to clean up after like a child? (3) The mental load is not "just chores." It's "a discrete category of family work, which entails the planning, scheduling, and remembering of domestic chores and events." The mental load is ALL the daily household management tasks that someone needs to do. (4) What "other shit" do men have to deal with in regards to mental load i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 01:18 AM
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One can have many problems in their relationship. There can be many reasons why one partner may resent the other. Also, the commentor said nothing of emotional labor. The mental load of running a household is not the same thing as (and has little to do with) emotional labor.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 12:39 AM
3

I can't see how expecting your partner to fulfill all your social and emotional needs would ever work, honestly. I just don't understand your logic here. Besides sexual fulfillment, what is it that makes a romantic relationship so much more important/fulfilling/special than multiple intimate friendships?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 07:09 PM
5

But why would I trade three intimate, loving relationships (not to mention all the other less intimate, but still valuable, friendships I have) for only one imimate, loving relationship? All my relationships add value to my life and help me fufill my social and emotional needs. Losing my community would make me feel so incredibly lonely. My partner would also suffer tremendously without his friends. Our friends make us who we are, which allows our romantic relationship to flourish. You can't exp…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:56 PM
4

This conversation is difficult because I don't know the nature of your friendships. However, I can tell you from experience that you can find a deep, fufilling emotional intimacy through friendship. I've moved accross the country to be closer to my friends. We've consulted eachother in major life decisions, taken care of eachother when we were sick or greiving, and shared small, everyday acts of love with eachother. I would be less fufilled as a person on a fundemental level without my friendshi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:37 PM
8

To me, it's absolutely not. Romantic relationships are wonderful. However, I've built deep, intimate friendships throughout my life. My closest friendship predates my relationship by a decade. The love, care, intimacy, and understanding I share with my closest friends is just as meaningful as the love, care, intimacy, and understanding I share with my romantic partner. My closest friends are my family. This whole thread makes me feel sad. I wonder if you and some of the other commenters have eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:28 PM
9

Scenerio B. It's not even a difficult choice. Having my only meaningful relationship outside of my family be my romantic partner sounds like an absolutely horrible way to live. Losing my partner would be devastating, but not as devastating as losing all my close friends at once.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:03 PM
–

I'm glad you're here. You seem to actually understand how most women's libido's operate. I could not endorse your comment more.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 05:57 PM
–

Men who do their fair share of chores from the jump do not have this problem. Lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 05:54 PM
4

Who is avoiding accountability here and for what? Me? What exactly do I need to take accountability for? I have done nothing wrong. Personally, I've never used dating apps for dating. I think it's difficult to get a sense of what someone looks like, what their personality is like, and whether I'll actually be attracted to them by looking at an online profile compromised of static images. I met my partner in-person. I met my prior partner in person. I met the men who I had casual sex with in-pers…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:52 PM
6

That may be true. However, it does not excuse their behavior (which is inherently anti-social).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 03:33 AM
–

I'm sorry you don't know how to read graphs. This might help: https://www.thoughtspot.com/data-trends/data-visualization/how-to-identify-misleading-graphs-and-charts. Read the section on cherry-picking.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 03:10 AM
1

If you read the post, the argument is not "I don't agree with it." The argument is that the data is improperly interpreted -- the study about a woman's promiscuity as a predictor of divorce measures "lifetime non-marital sexual partners" instead of "pre-marital sexual partners" in studying the probability that a woman's first marriage will end in divorce. The graphs popularly circulated in red pill circles do not account for the fact that a divorced woman may go on to have non-marital sexual par…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 02:59 AM
19

Suit yourself is what I say. Whether you do online or irl dating, you're going to face rejection. For most people, rejection is an inevitable part of dating. If (some) women not wanting men to approach them in irl spaces is enough to make you swear off the practice all together, or if you find reading social and situational cues too difficult to feel comfortable trying, than you are welcome to stick to online dating. It all depends on your tolerance for discomfort.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 02:26 AM
3

Perhaps take a look at this breakdown to see why and how those studies are incorrectly interpreted for propaganda purposes: https://www.np.reddit.com/r/exredpill/s/Y6aGybrPBN.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 02:15 AM
4

Do women like that exist? The men I had casual sex with as a young person were all respectful, kind men who I simply didn't want to date for compatability/personality reasons. I think that's pretty common. I decide to "settle down" with my partner because he was/is the complete package (i.e., desirable in every way). I also think it's perfectly fine for men to have causal sex. I always made my intentions entirely clear to the men who I had casual sex with. As long as a man is also honest and cle…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 01:50 AM
4

I don't like hypocrisy either, but I simply don't observe the kind of opportunistic, hedonistic, and anti-social behavior you describe in real life. I've never met a man or a woman who fits either of these sterotypes (or even displays a majority of the behaviors you listed).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 12:48 AM
26

You know what, I agree. However, I don't think the vast majority of people fit into these stereotypes, so I don't really think either has a significant impact on dating culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 12:30 AM
2

I mean as long as I knew the person remembered a lot about everything I wouldn’t take it as a red flag. True! My partner, friends, family, and coworkers all know I'm just like this. However, I've left a bad impression with a few people by remembering weird details about them. One particular memory sticks out in the relam of dating. I was briefly introduced to a guy by a mutual acquaintance in a group setting. He mentioned the names of his three cats at some point. I ran into him again around six…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 12:17 AM
5

I find that hard to imagine. It's very difficult to build a life with someone who you disagree with on a fundamental level about your most important values, ideals, and beliefs.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 10:42 PM
4

As someone with a scarily good memory, I feel attacked. Lol. Seriously, though, I try to downplay how much I remember when I'm getting to know someone (both in romantic and platonic contexts). Remembering too much can freak people out.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 09:39 PM
6

Have you personally had a relationship with someone who holds deeply contrasting values, ideals, and beliefs? If so, how strongly do you hold your values, ideals, and beliefs? I've only seen relationships between people with conflicting values, ideals, and beliefs work if both parties don't hold them very strongly (i.e., neither party is very political, religious, ideological, etc.)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 09:36 PM
5

Nah. I think one reason is that men's hands, generally, look larger and rougher than my own (i.e., the juxtaposition may be what's attractive). I also like the harriness of men's hands. Come to think of it, the root of my attraction to men's hands could stem from the fact that hands are a reflection of sexual dimorpism. My partner will talk about how much he loves my soft skin. I think his attraction to my "softness" comes from a similar place.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 08:51 PM
1

Yeah, Tom Cruise could probably write a book on doing stunt work, I'm sure, but not on working in the kinds of physically demanding jobs the characters he plays onscreen are written to have. Tom Cruise has never worked for the CIA or served in the military. Similarly, porn is acting. Women in (almost all commercial) porn are pretending to be "sexually satisfied." They are playing a role. I'm sure a porn actor could write a great book on how to make a compelling porn scene, but they may not have …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 05:07 PM
2

I honestly don't understand this either, my friend, but I (and many of my female friends) definitely find men's hands sexy. Would love to see this phenomenon studied.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 04:54 PM
9

Truthfully, I think social media has caused some (not all) young people to hold each other to unrealistic standards of perfection, which also carries over into dating. Some young men and women refuse to consider a partner who is flawed and still learning, despite the fact that they themselves are also young, flawed, and still learning.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 04:49 PM
–

Does what bother me?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 02:52 PM
5

A lot of people are (consciously or unconsciously) homophobic, biphopbic, or both. Many people buy into the unfounded sterotypes that bi men are actually gay, and bi women are actually straight. A lot of lesbians refuse to date bi women for this same reason. Some straight women (consciously or unconsciously) hold sexist beliefs about "what it means to be a real man." Men who have sex with men are excluded from that conception. Some women just think gay sex is "icky" and they don't want to date b…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 12:37 AM
–

How is your comment in any way responsive to what I wrote? Perhaps you've accidentally replied to the wrong person?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 12:10 AM
1

I wouldn't necessarily not sleep with someone (casually) who I felt smoked too much weed or went out the bars more often that what I feel is healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 08:01 PM
1

Yeah, I don't necessarily think my situation is common. However, because I think you're correct about what most men would prefer, and he was very sincere in this request, his desire to wait came across to me as charming, honestly.That said, I wouldn't recommend for a man to fake a desire to wait for the purposes of impressing a woman. It was the genuine nature of his request that, to me, made it very clear how interested he was in pursuing a relationship with me. I would not have had a problem i…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 07:55 PM
21

Source? Source? Anywhere a source? This is nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 10:03 AM
7

Oooooookay. Sure thing, Mr. Top 1% Poster.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 07:13 AM
–

You know, I've grown to love the quirky characters on this forum. You all are a bunch of goofballs.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 06:54 AM
11

You post on this forum every night, my dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 06:53 AM
11

No? No one is entitled to anyone else's love and attention. I was simply pushing back on this commenters invocation of "the State." I am sorry for your struggles, but you are not owed romance.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 06:50 AM
7

Women have jobs now!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 06:25 AM
3

Yeah, I tried to initiate sex on the first date. He wanted to wait. I respected that.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 03:59 AM
6

A person does not pick up dog shit = directly affects the *public* park and broader community. A person has a lot (by your definition) of consensual sex = directly affects that person's *private* life and does not affect yours. I don't think it's ever approptiate to denagrate others for their personal, private choices. Would I enter into an open relationship? Fuck no, but it's fine if you want to do so. Would I enter into a relationship with "traditional" gender dynamics? Fuck no, but I don't ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 02:28 AM
3

I don't think you're right; however, you make some excellent points. I can't even find supposedly antifeminist spaces where mfs won't complain about why men aren't allowed to enjoy sugar-laden colourful cocktails that actually taste like shit. This is the problem. Our culture encourages structuring our identities around consumption. If men were genuinely free from their traditional gender roles, you wouldn't see women (and men) celebrating men who drink fruity cocktails, paint their nails, or we…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 02:10 AM
4

I mean, it's rude to call people names, is it not? I don't call men derogatory names and I disagree with any woman or man who find that behavior appropriate.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 01:35 AM
3

Lack of evidence as a concession? Laughable. You seem to have an undue level of trust in the human ability to measure a phenomenon as complex as love. My relationship is of the same length as yours. My partner is in the other room right now making homemade pizza for us as I plan our upcoming vacation. I'm also doing quite well, thank you very much. I'm glad your life is working out for you, but I also don't care about your anecdotal experience. I wouldn't be happy with a partner like you. I pres…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 12:32 AM
4

Ok, quite angry I see. You do realize that the diversity of human experience cannot be accurately captured by the data, right? The sooner you stop dating based on statistical trends, the better you will fare in the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 12:15 AM
5

Speak for youself, my friend. My partner is the hottest man I've ever met.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 12:09 AM
3

My partner wanted to wait until the third date to have sex. He thought there might be something special between us (he was right), and didn't want to rush into things. And neither of us are strangers to casual sex (our relationship, even from the start, was not casual, though). I respected his desire, although I did not personally have such hesitations.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 11:18 PM
3

I certainly think we (men and women) should do a better job at calling out members of our own sex when they are hateful and sexist towards others. I still cling on to some hope that reasonable voices will prevail.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 11:03 PM
5

No? I view every person I come into contact with as possesing innate value.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:48 PM
4

No, I'm not doing that. I don't see anything wrong with your way of being. Your anecdotal experience does not erase my anecdotal experience. I haven't experienced any negative effects from casual sex. Well, I guess one guy stole a gumpy figurine from my apartment one time. That was weird. Being a virgin DOES color your view of this topic, just as my experiences color my view of this topic. I have seen people in my life (especially women) suffer mentally, physically, and financially by waiting un…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:46 PM
4

No. I did not objectify men I had casual sex with. We had an understanding about the scope and extent of our interaction. That's not objectification.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:37 PM
4

I'm sorry, dude. That's why I think it's really important for people to be up front about what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:36 PM
16

Some men on this sub do not seem to understand this experience. This exact scenerio has happened to me too, several times. And, in my experience, men do NOT take this kind of rejection well at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:33 PM
5

Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:28 PM
6

I'm glad she knows me better than I know myself. Lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:26 PM
3

Don't get me wrong, I hate the way some women talk about men, too. I have no problem calling out double standards. However, I like to be morally consistent in that regard.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:25 PM
6

Yes. Absolutely. I am turned off by men who display sexist attitudes or behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:24 PM
7

I'm not saying men and women, on average, have the same relationship to sex. However, to say that only an "unhealthy" or "broken" women would enjoy casual sex is just incorrect. Some women have casual sex and enjoy it. Some have casual sex and find it tramatizing or damaging in the long-term. Men are not so different in this regard. Some men cannot emotionally handle casual sex (I've seen it happen). I just caution you against using your own personal feelings and experiences to paint a broad bru…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:20 PM
11

They gave ME free sex too. I'm not product to be bought or sold. I am in a happy long-term relationship now and have absolutely no regrets.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:11 PM
8

Lol. You do know not all women have the same hormonal profiles, right? Healthy is a range. Average is a range. I don't feel a strong emotional connection when I have sex with someone. Sex can, of course, be very intimate and emotional. However, for me, that is something that develops with time. I had a healthy upbringing, do not have any sexual trauma, and have a loving, monogamous relationship of almost a decade now. I don't really ever think about my past casual sex experiences unless somethin…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:09 PM
4

Personally, a misogynist, a (severe) addict, or a criminal would not even make my "fuck" list.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 09:59 PM
11

Uh, what? I like casual sex. If a man wanted more than casual, I would end things with him immediately. Not all women view sex in the same way you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 09:48 PM
7

Yes. 100%. I am attracted to a variety of men. I've only met around five who I would be willing to date (one of whom is my current partner). My relationship compatability standards are very, very high.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 09:40 PM
5

I don't use or beleive that kind of hateful, reductive rhetoric. This is precisely my point, though. You attributed a certain beleif to me that I do not agree with and think is repulsive. Yet, I am being perfectly respectful to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 08:54 PM
5

I do not care about how men I don't know or who don't have power over my life in some way perceive me. I am, however, bothered by men who directly insult me personally or make broad, generalizing statements about all women or all women "like me." Proliferating false and hateful beliefs about others is not treating them with common human courtesy and decency. I don't expect any special treatment. I treat men with the same respect that I expect in return. Everyone is absolutely welcome to their ow…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 08:44 PM
2

For sure. All valid points. It's all about context, respect, and social awareness.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 08:19 PM
2

In no way did I write or imply that. I pointed out that gay men are more likely to visit those subs than women. You are reading words I did not write and do not agree with into my comment. I don't think gay men play a significant role (or perhaps any role) in influencing the cultural fetishizatation of big dicks. However, in my experience, gay men, like all men, watch and/or look at more visual porn than women do. A large majority of women do not like to look at dicks and are not turned on by th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 07:36 PM
8

I understand that and I don't fault men for being human beings. It's perfectly normal to notice people who you find attractive. I'm more so referring to men who stare for extended periods of time or keep looking over at me. If I am wearing something sexy, that kind of reaction is more understandable. It's less understandable when I'm just wearing a loose pair of jeans and sweater, for example, or when I'm wearing a normal tanktop/fairly modest workout clothes in the sweltering heat. I don't real…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 04:01 PM
15

I love it when my partner admires my body. I am fine with men admiring my body when I am intentionally dressing to look sexy (which is something I rarely do). I don't like it when men admire my body when I have done absolutely nothing to invite that attention (which happens far more often than I like). I am never okay with strangers touching my body without permission or making vulgar comments to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 03:41 PM
3

I think online dating is a big problem. I would not be opposed to a law that banned online dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 03:11 PM
17

Personally, a tax like that would influence me to never get married to a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 03:08 PM
19

Not everyone deserves a partner, unfortunately. Life can be cruel and unfair. That said, we have not done enough as a society to deconstruct male gender roles. I did/do my part to fix this by not adhering to traditional gender roles nor expecting my partner to adhere to traditional gender roles. I approached/pursued my partner, am the breadwinner in the relationship, and encourage my partner's vulnerability/healthy emotional expression. I try to call out sexist attitudes whenever I can, both onl…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 02:55 PM
10

Exactly. If my partner acted in a way that most women would find attractive, I wouldn't be with him. We're together because of the unique elements of our personalities that make us compatible with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 02:16 PM
–

Hmm, I loved "that lifestyle" but I was also lucky enough to find my partner in my early 20s. Many such cases. It can take time to find a person who you want to build a life with (if that is, in fact, a goal of yours). I just got lucky by finding my person earlier than most.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 02:13 PM
–

What does that even mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 01:46 PM
1

It's not sexist to point out that women consume far less visual porn than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 01:45 PM
3

I agree. When I gave the compliment in question, I didn't yet understand how emotional the topic of dick size can be for many men. It was a valuable learning experience for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 07:12 AM
5

Exactly. You're correct on all accounts. Even though I genuinely meant the compliment, I triggered his pre-existing insecurity. That, I think, is a major reason why women do not compliment men with average/smaller-than-average dicks.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 07:06 AM
1

Who is following/engaging with these subs primarily? I imagine mostly gay and straight men on the dick subs, and straight men and women (many of whom are sex workers) on the boob subs.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 06:48 AM
7

I can guarantee you that nearly all women have absolutely no interest is small dick humiliation content. That content is made for men who have (understandable) insecurities about their penis size (because our society does fetishize big dicks). Like I said, a lot of women do not overtly sexualize men's bodies. The women who do fetishize men's bodies are not the norm. To add to that, most women (because they do not watch porn) do not interact with content that fetishizes/sexualizes small breasts. …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 06:45 AM
4

Are women or men watching that porn? The vast majority of women do not watch porn. In my experience, the average man talks about, thinks about, and analyzes their penis size a lot more than the average woman does. Male friends can also make some pretty mean-spirited jokes about dick size to eachother. Likewise, some women absolutely do shame other women for having small boobs. It happens all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 06:29 AM
7

Big breasts are definitely sexualized wayyyyy more than other sizes in popular culture. Porn may be a different story. I think women are less likely to overtly sexualize men's bodies. Women watch less porn, etc. There are far more male porn niches than female porn niches because more men watch porn. The average man watches porn while the average woman does not.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 06:23 AM
7

Your fifth point is 1000% correct. I once made the mistake of complimenting a man on his "perfect size" penis (i.e., not too big, not too small). My attempted compliment triggered a lot of insecurity for him. I felt really bad about it. Never again.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 06:05 AM
4

Yes. Exactly. Even though big boobs are sexualized in popular culture/media, lots of men like, or even prefer, smaller/moderate-sized breasts.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 06:01 AM
2

Coping about what? The fact that I have a healthy long-term relationship and self-respect?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 05:54 AM
1

Uh, that's not true at all. At every single point in my life I would have been offended if a man asked me how many people I've had sex with as a "screener" question, including when I was a virgin.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 01:51 AM
4

No one is above criticism. I criticize women who deserve to be criticized all the time. However, if you think calling women, as a group, "fundamentally evil" is anything but misogyny, you are being completely disingenuous. Calling any group of people "fundamentally evil" reveals deeply held negative sentiments about those people. Calling women "fundamentally evil" indicates that you are strongly prejudiced against women, which is the literal definition of misogyny.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 07:09 PM
2

No, they don't. I am woman who does not think that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 06:59 PM
1

No it's not? Criticizing women in a sexist, reductive, and hateful way is misogyny. Criticizing specific women or common attitudes that many women hold is not misogyny.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 06:44 PM
1

I don't understand what your point is here. Preferential treatment? Compared to whom? Personally, I try to be kind and respectful to every person I interact with. Not being an asshole is a pretty basic expectation.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 06:39 PM
-2

Hm, maybe because most self-respecting people would rather be single than have a partner who treats them poorly?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 06:23 PM
2

Are you attached to your phone?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 05:59 PM
0

That was not what this commenter was doing? She was correcting a misunderstanding the original commenter had about dating dynamics of the past compared to the present. OP was pointing out that the expectation that men pay for dates was even more pervasive and stringent in the past. She did not make any sort of normative claim or value judgment.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 05:53 PM
5

Hmm, this is a really interesting point. I wonder if some of the complaints on this sub baffle me/seem very at odds with my personal experience because I naturally gravitate to more masculine "roles." I'm very direct, tend to be disagreeable and competitive, and have no problem pursuing men. I'm also perfectly fine with being a breadwinner in relationships. Personally, I have found these traits to be a major advantage in dating (particularly, I think, because I look quite feminine/pretty). I thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 03:19 PM
–

We all must contend with these expectations. That does NOT mean we need to accept them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:21 AM
–

What are you actually talking about? Most people (men AND women) cannot support a family on one income alone, even if they wanted to. Furthermore, most people (men AND women) are not mentally healthy in today's day and age, even though many are striving to be, Most people (men AND women) cannot responsibly afford to have children. There is no false equivance here.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:08 AM
–

"Forcing men to be emotionally stable and make enough money to support a family, i.e., "men helping women" is incompatible with modern society." My statement is equally true. But here's the thing, not all men want to (or can) fufill the role of the traditional provider. Not all women want to (or can) fufill the role of a traditional housewife. We all must contend with the expections that are forced upon us by virtue of our sex. In the end, we're all fucked. I don't expect unrealistc things from …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 07:54 AM
-1

Ok then, what is your point? Do you know how averages work? Most people are not the average. If variation exists between men and women in terms of average performance on logical reasoning tasks, that varition is quite small. Even assuming that variation exists, there will still be a large percentage of women who are "more logical" than most men (and vice versa). How some women respond to a popular hypothetical/meme does not have any relation to the capacity women have, as a class, to use logical…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 09:41 PM
2

Ok, assuming men are "more logical" than women on average (they are not), do you think all people are the average? For example, would you tell a woman who scored in the 99th percentile on her law school admission exam (which is designed to test logical reasoning) that she is less logical than men by virtue of being a woman? Of course not.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 08:58 PM
5

Dude. You have to be joking right now. Is this a shitpost?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 08:48 PM
2

Hmm, there appears to be more than one woman and more than one man on this planet. You can talk about averages all you want, but there are a lot of highly logical women out there and a lot of highly emotional men. Some women are more logical than most men and vice versa. There are also people who are BOTH highly logical and highly emotional. These traits are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 08:46 PM
7

No, that does not make sense. If you can not find a buyer in your market, you are targeting the wrong market. A product with no customers fails. However, thankfully, SMV is a bullshit concept. We are all "niche" products if you will. That is the human experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 07:46 AM
5

A market, by definition, operates on supply and demand. The buyers (people who are attracted to you) determine your sexual market value. Nothing matters beyond that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 07:31 AM
7

Who determines such things? Sounds very vibey and illogical to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 07:04 AM
9

Uh, the job market does not function in the same way that interpersonal relationships do. Companies (particularly large firms) have a ton of stakeholder interests they must account for. Women are just people. And, for the record, I only work for small businesses. In my experience, because they're more connected to their employees on a human level, they tend to value their employees more. Big companies function in a very dehumanizing, depersonalizing manner. Human relationships do not parallel co…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 06:55 AM
14

Uh, doubtful. I don't know a single quality person who wouldn't run for the hills if they found out the person they're dating strung along a previous partner to "get experience." That's just my perspective, though. You may me interested is shitty women.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 06:49 AM
16

Women who were not attracted to you to begin with will not care.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 06:44 AM
7

How is that relevant here?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 06:43 AM
11

How?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 06:37 AM
11

Sure. Regardless, the people who are willing to date you are the people who are "in your league."
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 06:37 AM
14

And why do you think you'd be able to get a future relationship with a woman who you find more attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 06:35 AM
16

My friend, those women were in your league. The people who are willing to date you are the people who are "in your league." Else, the term loses all meaning.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 06:33 AM
15

Practice for what exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 06:30 AM
3

No, I mean I still think any such relationship is pathetic. I would rather be single than entertain such a relationship. I say this as a woman who makes considerably more money than my partner. He was with me when we were broke and loved me just as much. I, too, love him just as much now that I'm the "breadwinner."
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 12:49 AM
1

That doesn't change my opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 12:34 AM
2

Yeah. I talk to my friends about almost EVERYTHING. However, I would never talk about my partner's body and his sexual performance, even with my closest friends. Sometimes we'll share tips and advice (for example, I asked a friend for advice before trying something new with my parter), but I would never say anything to disparage him or violate his privacy. That's basic respect in my book.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 07:15 PM
6

No doubt. However, those women wouldn't care about him in the slightest. They would only be interested in him for his money. Personally, I would rather die than be in a relationship like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 06:47 PM
9

And the only cure is to stop trying to systematize your approach and engage women on a case by case basis. YES!!!! This applies to everyone. Women also need to engage men on a case by case basis.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 06:40 PM
6

Correct answer. I don't want to get married so I won't. I don't care what other people do.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 06:28 PM
6

That's not what objectification means in the sense the commenter used it. (Most) porn is entirely catered to men. Male porn actors are minimized so the watchers can envision themselves as the person who is having sex with the female actor. The female actor, inhumanly, behaves in manner that is entirely determined by male desire, male fantasy, and male pleasure. Both the female and male actors are props in the scene, but in different ways. The male actor is a background prop, not to be noticed. T…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 03:03 AM
8

In my experience, they're not on the apps, and they're not single for very long (unless they want to be). Personally, I was very involved in my community (I say "was" because I recently moved and am working to build community again in my new city). In my free time, I went to poetry readings, visited museums and galleries, hung out at local stores and coffee shops, and did a lot of volunteering. I found a partner who was also involved in the community (and who, like me, did not do online dating).
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:12 AM
16

Thanks for your kind words. I don't think I'm all that rare, though. I'm not going to bullshit you and say that some women don't enforce toxic standards of masculinity on men (i.e., expecting emotional repression and/or shaming vulnerability). However, there are many people out there--both men and women--who strive to build deep and emotionally honest relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 03:32 AM
2

My close friends would never. This has happened to me, though, with an acquaintance. I found it funny. I'm wasn't worried. We stopped hanging out with her (at my partner's request).
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 03:25 AM
14

What? I've spent countless hours helping my loving partner process through the abuse he experienced at the hands of his ex-girlfriend. I was the first person to name what his ex did to him as abuse. I love this man and will help him through all his past, present, and future hardships. He does the same for me. That's what love and intimacy mean to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 03:21 AM
6

How is that not the point? I personally dress fairly modestly. I like to be comfortable. Regardless, I get unsolicited male attention all the time. I might get more male attention when I wear form‐fitting clothing, but it really doesn't change a whole lot on my end. I chose to prioritize my own comfort and style because there is nothing I can wear that will make me immune to male attention. Like many women, there are elements of my body I can't control. I have large breasts compared to my waist …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 08:27 PM
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You are 1000% correct. We are all on the same team. We are all being exploited. The divisions between us only serve to enrich the already wealthy and powerful. People MUST wake up to this reality. Men, your problem is not "modern" or "Western" women. You are suffering from an individualistic society that priorities what you can do to earn money for other people over who you are. We are all, women included, working too much for little reward. The economic reality we are forced to operate within i…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 07:21 AM
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Ugh. What nonsense. No group of people is "all the same." I've never dated men who use dating apps, and I've never used apps for dating myself. The thing is, if you have to ask this question, you are not going to attract women with full lives, hobbies, and values. Your mere asking if this asinine question reveals a fundamental character flaw. If you do not view women as unique individuals, you will only find women with similarly shallow perspectives on men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 07:09 AM
3

On the other hand, I hardly hear about women who support a stay-at-home boyfriend or husband who always keeps the house clean and tidy, buys all the groceries, cooks for her every day when she returns from work, and takes care of the kids if they have any. This is my partner. He works part-time and I make a lot more money than him. He does all the groccery shopping, does most of the cleaning, and makes dinner for us almost every night. I wouldn't change him for the world. I've always been ambiti…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 10:52 PM
4

Look into group therapy programs for adults with social skills issues. Programs like that exist for autistic adults. Regardless, the first step is therapy. You need to work with a professional on your self-esteem issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 10:15 PM
6

If your only interaction with people is at work (i.e., in a limited and superficial capacity) or online, you are not fully engaging with other people. You are isolated and socially starved.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 10:05 PM
8

What you said is not supported by reality. You need to get help, log off, and engage with other people. You are only hurting yourself (for now).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 10:01 PM
11

Log off. You are the problem. NPC is a video game term. It does not apply to human beings with consciousness and inherently unique and irreplicable lives. People are not interchangeable. They hold significance in their family and social groups. We ALL have unique biological and environmental factors that influence who we are.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/25 09:57 PM
–

A society can not practically force people to be in long-term, monogamous relationships without extremely high levels of social control and coercion.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 08:32 PM
2

"Life partnership" has nothing to do with marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 06:25 AM
4

What??? You must hang out in religious and/or vapid circles. I am explicitly anti-marriage. I remember attending a cousin's wedding at age ten and thinking, "what is the point of this?" The more I learned about the origins of marriage (coverture), the more anti-marriage I became. I have NEVER fantasized about my "future wedding" or any of that bullshit. Many of my female friends are neutral about marriage. Anti-marriage women are definately a small subset of women, but we absolutely do exist. Wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 05:15 AM
3

I will certainly dig into the research more. I disagree with your conclusion. If anything, rape/coercion fantasies serve as a way for women to mentally "absolve" themselves of the sin of wanting to have passionate sex, which is itself a tenant of purity culture. Rape fantasies allow women to imagine the sex they want in an acceptable context--she remains virtuous because the sex is outside of her control. I agree that violence and sex are culturally linked, but I question your claim about the in…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 06:01 AM
1

I agree. I hope my comment explained some of the nuances as to why/when some women feel comfortable with sexual dominanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 05:38 AM
5

How do these researchers define "ravishment"?" On a primal level, many women want to be deeply, uncontrollably desired by men who they are attracted to. I love it when my partner sweeps me off my feet and takes me to the bedroom (assuming it's an appropriate time). I fantasize about him "dominating" me in bed because I am very attracted to him and trust him completely. I do not fantasize about kicking and screaming for my life as some strange man corners me in a secluded place and violently assa…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 05:26 AM
3

Maybe you have a type, and your type is extremely submissive women. I think a lot of people, men and women alike, enjoy rough sex. Sexual preferences do not indicate a person's general submissiveness, however. Some men who are very dominant outside of the bedroom love pegging, and some women who are very dominant outside of the bedroom love playing a more submissive role in bed. I have a hard time believing that all of the women you've date "wanted you to control everything," unless you've only …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 04:27 AM
8

Where the fuck are you finding these people? Most women do not have rape fantasies. Do you mean that they like rough sex?? That's more pleasurable/stimulating for some women. That does not mean they have rape fantasies. Lots of people like rough sex. Also, I'd be extremely upset if a man chose my meal for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 04:12 AM
0

I've never been rejected by a man. I've rejected several men who wanted to turn a sexual relationship with me into something more serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 04:07 AM
3

Why do you care so much about the survival of the human race?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 04:01 AM
1

What makes you think OP represents the majority perspective?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/25 02:09 AM
0

Nice chat. Lol. Why even debate if you're so obstinate? You made an assumption about me that was wrong. I corrected your assumption, but that still doesn't matter. Your worldview is too dogmatic for nuance.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 02:24 PM
1

What are you talking about? You don't know anything about me. Who is a "provider?" The partner who makes more money? If that's the case, I make more money than my partner. If not, what is it?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 02:16 PM
0

Look, you don't know me. I was attempting to argue against your points about "what women want" and "female nature" with my anecdotal experience that is at odds with your assumptions. I'm not seeking validation from you or anyone on here. Using my personal experience to demonstrate a point is not "validation-seeking" behavior. This is a relationship debate subreddit. I'm going to talk about my relationship in the context of debate. Maybe you're confused about the purpose of this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 02:13 PM
1

Lol. This is a debate sub? I'm using a debate sub to debate. How profound. I could not care less about your assessment of my relationship. I'm not going to address your bizarre tin foil hat ramblings.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 01:27 PM
–

Are you okay?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 01:16 PM
2

Female breadwinner and egalitarian families are on the rise, in fact. I'm not disputing that they are rare overall, however. Not all people regress to the "average." The thing is, I'm anti-marriage for logistic reasons. Is that so odd to you? It makes more sense for us to remain unmarried at the present moment. I think marriage is meaningless, but commitment is vitally important. When and if we have children, we will get married. I'm not worried about my relationship. Are you worried about yours…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 08:22 AM
2

Wow, so patronizing. Relationship dynamics like mine are increasingly common. We've been together for almost a decade. I'm anti-marriage. We're in each other's wills, and we have POAs. What else do we need? Come back to me once you've had some time to meet people outside of your bubble.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 07:53 AM
5

Why all the assumptions? You don't know anything about me. I don't "crave attention" from anyone! In fact, I'd love it if people would leave me the fuck alone most days. I appreciate attention from my kind, loving partner. He made me a wonderful homemade dinner earlier this evening. I don't "crave" his attention, however, because I have shit to do. Clients. Work. I make significantly more money than my partner. He moved across the country for me. He supports my ambitions. I help him with his fin…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 07:50 AM
1

Shut up. Women just want men who add SOMETHING positive to their lives. I make more than my partner and will make substantially more than him when I graduate. I'm almost finished with a terminal degree from one of the top universities in the world. My partner does not have a bachelor's degree. My situation is not common, persay, but it is not extremely rare either. I know several women in my program who have similar relationships. All of them are very happy. I also know a few men who make or wil…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 07:16 AM
1

Lead me where? What the fuck does that even mean? What kind of "male attention" are you even talking about? What is an "average man"?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 06:52 AM
5

Why does everyone say this on this sub??? I have never EVER wanted a man to "provide" for me. I have only ever dated men who are kind, sweet, interesting, and loving. I make enough money. Who cares about money. I want a loving, human relationship. Not all women are looking for providers. We need to KILL these sexist standards and attitudes. I'm truly so, so sick of this shit. It is making me lose faith in humanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 06:50 AM
1

No. Different women exist. This woman DEFINITELY does not speak for me and my perspective. I disagree with her entire post.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 06:37 AM
1

Of course. I agree with that. I'm referring to non-physical activities.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 12:13 AM
0

I do not have children. My father was the more nurturing parent. My mother is great, but she has a less nurturing personality. There is no reason why some men can not be more nurturing and "motherly" in the traditional sense than some women. My partner is an exceededingly patient and nurturing person. I am not very patient. Not all men and women are the same, or even the "average." I agree that women are more nurturing and patient than men "on average." However, we do not know the extent to whic…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 10:57 PM
2

How is "mothering" any different than "fathering"? Why can't men play the role of "mother" when raising children?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 08:54 PM
28

No relationship is ever truly 50/50. However, my partner and I have an egalitarian relationship that plays to our strengths. He takes on most of the cooking and housework and carries more of the "mental load" than I do. I work more than him, make more money, and pay more than him for expenses. I don't want a provider. I don't want to be a housewife. If we have kids, my partner will be a stay at home parent. I love that arrangement. Of course, pregnancy can never be a fair trade. However, I know …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 07:57 PM
3

Where are the women "telling me this to my face"? I don't see them here. I asked for studies. Show me the studies. I researched this myself and failed to find any conclusive or convincing evidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 03:11 PM
3

Yeah, because your argument is more substantive than "uh huh," right?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 08:44 AM
0

No, they don't. Source? Have you met an intelligent woman? Edit: Regardless, that's besides the point. You're shifting the goal post here.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 08:03 AM
1

Call it what you want. What you're describing is idiocy. Intellegent women exist, and intelligence is incompatible with the attitude you described.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 08:01 AM
3

Do a large number of women want that? Stats? I have a partner who cooks, cleans, and decorates our home (nicely; he has excellent taste). He works part-time. I make a lot more money than he does. I wouldn't trade him for the world. Maybe, just maybe, if men were better at traditional "women's work," high-earning women wouldn't have a problem dating men who make less money. I would not be with a man who made what my partner makes unless he contributed to our household in the same way my partner d…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 06:11 AM
6

What the fuck are you talking about. Not all women are brainless idiots who think movies reflect reality. In fact, many women don't even watch rom coms. Maybe, just maybe, if you were the type of man who didn't view women through a pejorative lens, you would know more intellegent women. Who's to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 06:02 AM
1

That's very fair. I love treating my friends, family, and LTR to meals. However, I'd feel weird if someone I didn't know very well (or at all) tried to do the same. I can see how that dynamic could be different if I was raised in a different culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 12:19 AM
–

I encourage you to look into the issue. If you are interested in moral philosophy, reviewing case studies that involve unenforced legal frameworks can be an interesting exercise in considering the tension between the values a society purports to have and the values that play out in practice.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 07:41 AM
4

Lol. Yeah. I know a few golf courses, basketball courts, and sports bars that would beg to differ with OP's premise.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 06:55 AM
–

I am talking about ALL the contextual and societal forces that have brought a specific country to its current disposition on the issue of women's rights. For example, India may have recently-passed, strict anti-rape laws, but poor enforcement and general lassez-faire attitudes surrounding rape feed into a system where sexual violence is still exceededingly common. Consequentialism vs. deontology is a false dichotomy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 06:33 AM
–

What countries are you talking about here?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 05:17 AM
–

No, it's not. Incels are not disowned by their families, financially cut off, and/or married off to the highest bidder.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 05:15 AM
–

We both know that women are inundated with high levels of social shame for remaining single in a lot of countries. Not to mention the institutional discrimination against women. Your hypothetical country doesn't exist. If it did, I would not have a problem with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 05:11 AM
–

I don't care about that then. As long as she doesn't face violence, discrimination, and subjugation, men can have whatever preferences they want. Women can just as easily choose not to date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 05:05 AM
–

What are you even talking about? I don't care about men's preferences in other countries. I care about women whose economic and social opportunities are limited by the legal, political, and religious insistutions that they are forced to live under. I care about women who are subjugated and don't have the same level of self-determination that women have in the West. I care about women's opportunities to live the lives they want, not about men's preferences for women's lives. I don't force men to …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 04:53 AM
–

(1) No man is "husband material." I'm anti-marriage. (2) In my life, I have met less than five men who I would even consider seriously dating. One is my current partner. Another is my ex. (3) I am extremely direct. I would let a man know that I only wanted a casual thing before we hooked up. I did not "hookup" in that same way with people I actually wanted to date. That is a recipe for hurt feelings. I would want to go on a date with him first because I wanted to actually get to know him better …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 04:38 AM
11

You know, I agree with you here. However, it was my partner, not me, who asked to wait until the third date for sex. He really liked me and wanted to make sure our emotional connection was real before we had sex. I was fine with that, but it's never been something I considered asking a man to do. However, I was rarely interested in getting serious with a man. To me, "serious" is going on a date. As for the paying for dates thing, I was immediately turned off by men who insisted on paying for the…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 04:25 AM
2

Where does the study say that? I quoted the EXACT passage in the study that has the most to do with gender differences in benevolence, security, and universalism. Benevolence and universalism are "self-trancendance" values that have nothing to do with conformity. Nonetheless, I fail to see how that's relevant here. The study you linked was not analyzing value differences between genders. All the studies it referenced pertaining to that topic found slight to no differences in conformity between m…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 01:48 AM
4

My friend, you are misrepresenting the research. The study you linked, Implications of the Theory of Basic Human Values for the Second Demographic Transition: Interdependence and Individualism in the Era of Self-Fulfillment found that "benevolence (interdependence) is positively and openness to change (autonomy/stimulation) is negatively related to marriage in the Netherlands using longitudinal panel data and discrete event history models." This study had no cross-cultural element, nor did it di…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 01:08 AM
3

I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm just noting that older women who are in good shape are still very attractive to a lot of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 11:04 PM
2

Peer-reviewed, replicated psychological and/or sociological studies.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 11:03 PM
3

Source? I don't give a fuck about a lot of things my peers, family, and the broader culture I grew up in/am currently operating within value. Men can also be conformists.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 10:46 PM
3

I have a friend who is quite a bit older than me (mid-40s). She's an avid runner and super fit for any age. She gets hit on CONSTANTLY. It's kind of crazy. I think the weight/fitness component matters a lot more than the age component for a lot of men. This is just my observation, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 10:32 PM
10

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 06:18 PM
15

Stating a preference =/= denigrating people who you don't want to date I don't judge men who don't enjoy casual sex and hate parties. Those men just aren't compatible with me. I hope they find partners who share their values. I do, however, take offense to men on here who tell me my relationship is doomed or "no man would want me" because I've had casual sex, go out with my friends, and don't adhere to traditional gender roles. They are just wrong. My partner and I share very similar values. My …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 05:53 PM
16

I like sex. I like variety.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 04:55 PM
2

Very picky for relationships, not as picky for meaningless casual sex. I did not want to date anyone I had casual sex with, not even a little bit. How is that a contradiction?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 03:53 PM
2

No. I was just very, very picky. I loved being single. I was unwilling to sacrifice my singleness for a man who was not perfect for me. My partner of almost a decade now checked all of my boxes and then some. I pursued him. I know he feels more special than my random hookups from almost ten years ago. I don't even remember the names of a few of those guys because they were completely irrelevant to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 03:49 PM
2

I don't find a lot of men interesting or intelligent enough for me. When I was single, I still wanted to have sex, though Why would I settle for a man whose personality doesn't mesh well with mine?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 03:37 PM
1

There are multiple reasons. First and foremost, I care and am worried about young men. I have a younger brother and work with teenage boys. I hope young guys who lurk on this sub can see through my comments that some women truly care about the difficulties many men are grappling with right now. Additionally, I learn a lot about perspectives that I disagree with on this sub. Second, I hate when people simplify and stereotype men and women. We're all complex people. Sexist and biological‐essential…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 06:50 AM
1

100%, I agree with that wholeheartedly.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 06:24 AM
1

I'm a bit of a pedant. Predictably, law school has exacerbated this quality in me. I tend to reflexively push back on any mischaracterizion or oversimplification my partner makes when we're discussing current events, politics, and social issues. It's a bad habit of mine, and I make a conscious effort to not be so argumentive. There is a time and place for debate. My partner is simply more "go with the flow" than I am. He can only handle conflict (even if it's friendly conflict/debate) in small d…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 10:24 PM
2

There is no incentive for women to be a part of a harem either. Hot women with options will not settle for just being in some man's harem. Many women make good money these days and don't need a man for their finances. Women and men don't want to be a part of other people's selfish fantasies. Also, men do absolutely care about women's finances.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 04:24 AM
2

I mean, I'd love to have this as a woman. I'd love to have a harem of hot men. However, I view men as more than just sex objects. Most men would be deeply unhappy with such an arrangement.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 02:12 AM
1

Not all women want relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 02:04 AM
2

I already have one! We agree on about 95% of political/social topics. The 5% of issues we disagree on are not deal breakers to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 11:55 PM
2

You nailed it. My relationship continues to be happy precisely because I come to subs like this one instead of constantly turning to him to fulfill my insatiable lust for lively debate. Lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 11:52 PM
3

Yeah. Talking about the world is fun. I don't fuck with people can't have nuanced conversations about politics and current events.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 11:45 PM
3

I'm not sex-negative. I'm anti-exploitation. Exploitation can exist in any market. Moral objection is a form of market regulation. I don't think all porn is bad, but I do think the commercial porn industry oftentimes harms both workers and consumers. I also think our legal/regulatory environment makes sex work dangerous for many of those in the industry. Furthermore, I think relationships that involve very unbalanced power dynamics are inherently immoral, as I believe we all have the moral duty …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 04:32 AM
1

What? I oppose predatory age gap relationships when a man is dating a much older partner, too. Not all age gap relationships are predatory, however. I also oppose women who take advantage of men from poorer countries, think the porn industry harms male actors, and believe male sex workers can be exploited, too. Idgaf about sex bots. I’m an equal opportunity hater of exploitation. Just because it's a "free market" does not mean you are above condemnation if other people deem your behavior morally…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 04:02 AM
–

Honestly, I recommend dating creative men and/or hardworking blue-collar men. In essence, men who derive their self-worth from their art or grit as opposed to their academic/professional achievement.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 01:34 AM
1

Idk. I'm pursuing a terminal degree at an "elite" university. My partner is intelligent, too, he just has less formal education. He talks me up to his friends and family all the time and tells me how proud he is of me. I could never be with a man who viewed my intelligence as a threat.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 01:09 AM
2

I agree. I don't think the growth in options is bad, necessarily. However, facilitating our most important human experiences (relationships, friendship, community, etc.) through online platforms strips so much of the spontaneity, joy, and nuance from our interactions with other people. OLD helped transform romantic relationships and dating into yet another thing to "optimize."
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 04:31 PM
2

Nothing you wrote contradicts my point. That's basically what I wrote, except you used RP vernacular.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 08:45 PM
–

Sounds like you're leeching off of a society built on strong social ties and social contracts. By disparaging other people and holding policy positions out of animus, you leech of the people who believe a society should function on mutual respect and care for the less fortunate. You benefit from humanitarian values, but you selfishly wish to see others suffer.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 05:27 PM
4

Thanks for sharing! I honestly wish OLD was never invented. I don't think it does any favors for men or women, broadly speaking. Meeting someone in person actually gives you a sense of who they are, how they interact with the world, their smell, their "general vibe." All of these things are critically important to attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 03:29 PM
5

Ding. Ding. Ding. Niceness, kindness, compassion, and other virtues will help a person keep a relationship, not get a relationship. This applies to women, too. A woman who is unattractive and does not take care of herself can not make up for those flaws by being "nice." However, a mean, selfish, high‐conflict attractive woman will run into problems keeping a relationship. The same situation applies to men (perhaps to a greater degree).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 03:18 PM
4

Oh, golly gee, I completely forgot about all the "trained, high IQ predators" who are constantly out to get me and can ONLY be stopped by other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 03:02 PM
3

I do, actually, but I didn't meet my partner in a major city. I also have a ton of other sources for my self-esteem outside of men. I have a successful career, close friends, fulfilling hobbies, etc. I think men and women should both cultivate sources of self-worth that don't rely on their romantic relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 02:54 PM
–

Energy parasite.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 02:41 PM
–

Believe me or not. I don't give a fuck. It's been almost a decade, so I think I'm good. 👍 He makes dinner for us almost every night and is incredibly supportive of my career.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 02:40 PM
18

I don't disagree with you here, nor am I completely at odds the women who say that. Echo chambers can lead people to stereotype and demonize the "out group" and simplify complex, nuanced issues. Young women (in the U.S. at least) are overall very angry about the state of gender relations, as are young men. A little more empathy on both sides would go a long way. However, I think saying things like "the bar is hell" and minimizing men's issues is completely unproductive and disrespectful. Look, I…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 07:26 AM
8

Glad I know how to use a gun! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concealed_carry_in_the_United_States
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 06:16 AM
–

I am a woman who makes significantly more than my partner, who is the most amazing person I've ever met. You seem like a tapeworm.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 05:59 AM
1

For a woman to be "used" for sex, she needs to actually have sex or want to have sex with the man who wants to use her for sex. If she has no interest in that guy, she is not going to feel used. She may feel annoyed, depending on the context (ex., a coworker tries to sleep with her), but she will not feel "used."
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 04:42 AM
1

I mean, most women, regardless of attractiveness, will get propositioned or hit on by horny men. Most (if not all) of those men will be rejected. That's a different situation than having sex with someone who you later find out is using you for sex. Personally, the latter situation has never happened to me. Idk how common that scenario is for others.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 04:30 AM
1

Okay! That makes sense. It seems like English might not be your first language. Regardless, like I told him, I never had a problem with that situation. I've never been rejected by a man I wanted to date. Furthermore, I think the desert/swamp analogy is exceededingly stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 04:17 AM
4

Why does your comment contain the exact same phrasing as the comment by u/automaks?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 04:10 AM
7

Idk. I never had a problem with that. I've never been rejected by a man who I wanted to date. I guess I'll let other women speak on the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 04:08 AM
4

I don't see comments like that very often. Regardless, it's not a competition. Some women struggle with dating, too. There are a variety of reasons why a man or a woman might struggle with dating. However, objectively, I think it's fair to say that men--in general--struggle more than women these days with dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 04:06 AM
21

I truly don't understand your comment. I have never met a woman who acts like the person you described. Do women like that exist? Maybe? I have no idea. I don't think most women claim they have a harder time dating than men. It's clear that many young men are struggling right now. I know I certainly didn't have a hard time dating when I was single. Some men don't struggle with dating either. It depends on the person, the people in their social circles, and their values, skills, and attributes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 03:56 AM
2

Don't get married if you don't want to get married. Personally, I have no interest in marriage. There are many of us out there. Find a woman who doesn't want to get married.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 03:31 AM
–

I am perfectly fine with being a "breadwinner." My partner adds so much non-monetary value to my life. I think it's kind of insulting to insinuate that men who make less than their spouses are "tapeworms."
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 10:19 PM
12

I don't think that's the argument OP is making. Most people do not think employers are caring and compassionate. Further, most people don't "want" to work. We work because we want the things earning an income can provide, such as financial security and the ability to support ourselves and the people we love.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 07:32 PM
17

"If men are going to work really hard at something, it should be on behalf of their children and family who love them and not a huge corporation that would replace him in a heartbeat. Family leaves a legacy. With few exceptions, no one cares about your career when you die." How is this advice exclusive to women?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 07:22 PM
16

I feel for you so much. The expectations our society places on men are so unfair and unbalanced. We need to kill the "men are providers" narrative. What are the traditional male requirements you're referring to? I have my guesses, but I'm curious to hear your perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 07:04 PM
5

How could you possibly have taken away that point from what I said? That's absurd. Of course, I agree that most gamers enjoy the community element. Romance books are the same. It's a hobby. I'm glad your wife has an interest in writing. Kudos to her. I don't think reading romance novels and watching porn are comparable pastimes, honestly. As far as I understand, most men do not discuss their porn consumption in community spaces with other men. I'm not sure why you decided to jump to ad hominems …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 06:22 PM
8

Not all women like romance novels, my friend. Many do, but there are also many, many women who do not. Most adults don't even read. Personally, I read all the time for work and for pleasure. The most recent "romance novel" I read was Knut Hamsun's Victoria last fall. I also don't buy books. Lol. Libraries exist. Point being, I wouldn't look to the small subset of women who read popular romance fiction to make claims about how most women feel. In my experience, and this is of course anecdotal, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 05:41 PM
9

As someone who has a more intimate understanding of feminist academia v. pop feminism, I agree with you. I don't call myself a feminist anymore outside of academic circles, although I deeply support feminist values and live them in my day-to-day life. Like every social movement, feminism has been subsumed by our culture of consumption and reduced to performative posturing. I see "feminists" and "anti-feminists" alike mischaracterize feminism every single day on this app.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 08:11 AM
–

Yes. That, in and of itself, is ludicrous.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 07:23 AM
–

The red pill woman is a social fiction, just as the reasonable person is a legal fiction. Human beings do not fit neatly into simplistic archetypes.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 06:24 AM
0

Okay, in my case, you're working from faulty premises. My partner is the most attractive man I've ever met. I did not want an LTR with prior flings because of their uninteresting personalities or undesirable physical traits. Two men who I had casual encounters with wanted something more serious and were very upset when I had no interest in a LTR with them. Mant men can get overly attached and/or want commitment, too. I made it EXPLICITLY clear to every man who I've ever had casual sex with that …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 06:07 AM
2

No, the traditional aim of feminism was to free women from their restrictive gender role in society and seek legal and social parity with men. Pouring absorbent money into your physical appearance to appel to men does not advance social parity between men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 05:53 AM
3

I don't know if I'd call myself a "stacy," but it seems pretty anti-feminist and counterproductive to attempt to dramatically alter your appearance to attract a long-term partner. You are who you are at the end of the day. I've never had problems dating, though, so I suppose that colors my perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 05:34 AM
0

I note that I am a woman who loves sex because I value my singleness more than any old relationship. A man must add value to my life in order to be a part of it. I would never enter a relationship with someone who I was not fully and fundamentally attracted to on every level. However, before I found him, I still wanted to satisfy my primal desires as a human being. You are correct in assuming my partner has not had problems attracting women. Women flirt with him regularly for understandable reas…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 05:26 AM
1

In general, I strongly agree with your proposition that there is nothing wrong with individual preferences and lifestyles. However, that is not my current reality. In my country, many people (men and women) are attempting to legislate choice out of existence and/or stigmatize non-traditional family dynamics on a cultural level. Unfortunately, as much as I wish it were not so, that makes their buisness my buisness. "Live and let live" appears to be a forgotten mantra. I do not think there is anyt…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 04:56 AM
-1

Because "traditional" men are very attracted to women like me. Most of the men who show strong, overt interest in me in my everyday life come across as "traditional" men who are looking for a housewife and/or "traditional" woman. It's very confusing and speaks to the superficiality of this preference. I look like and act like a "traditional" woman on a surface level. I dress fairly modestly, take care of myself, and want a family. I am genetically blessed with a youthful, doll-like face. My mom …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 04:16 AM
2

I don't understand your response. I'm a woman who loves sex. I genuinely and honestly don't remember the names of at least three men with whom I've had casual sex. When I was single, I had casual sex simply because I was horny and wanted to have sex. Those guys were not compatible with me. I didn't want anything long-term with them. Why would I want to commit to men who I didn't care about? I have too much self-respect to settle for a man who is not perfect for me. On the other hand, I've been i…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 03:56 AM
2

What is a traditional woman to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 03:33 AM
2

Why do you have to put so much money into your beauty routine to be considered attractive? I'm asking with genuine curiosity. I shower regularly, wash my face nightly, exercise daily, get my hair cut yearly, do my eyebrows monthly, and brush my teeth twice a day. That's it. I don't wear makeup or remove my body hair. Still, I am hit on constantly by men (despite having a long-term partner). I've even had men (very inappropriately) try to convince me to leave my partner for them. I don't understa…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 03:25 AM
5

Do women really want that, though? I definitely don't. All of the women I know either want a 50/50 relationship with respect to work (and childcare if they want kids), want a provider so they can stay at home or work less, or (like me) want a man who is willing to stay at home or work less so they can focus on their career.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 03:16 AM
1

This is obvious bait, bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 03:11 AM
1

What is a traditional woman? I am genuinely curious. I may be considered traditional in some respects: I partnered up young, am sweet and caring, exercise daily to stay fit, dress fairly modestly, don't use Instagram or other non-anon social media sites, and adore my partner. In other respects, I am very non-traditional. I am in a high-paying, traditionally masculine field, I do less cooking and housework than my partner (because I work more and make significantly more money than him), and we pl…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 03:00 AM
8

Some women do want this. Some do not. Some men are okay with this dynamic. Some are not. I don't see anything controversial here.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 02:51 AM
–

I'm not the arbitor of what women want. I can only speak for myself and honestly state that I know other similarly situated women who share my perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 09:38 PM
–

Yes. I still fail to see why 12% of families having a SAHD proves anything. I acknowledge that I am a part of a minority group. However, 12% of families is not insignificant or rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 05:36 PM
–

1% is not 12%.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 05:17 PM
–

That's a lot of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 05:15 PM
–

What are you trying to say?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 04:57 PM
–

I know multiple couples who have been together for 5+ years and have had children without getting married. That seems to be more common these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 12:12 AM
1

I don't disagree with you, generally, but I do think this attitude is changing. I know several similarly situated women who hold similar values to me. Granted, however, we are all very high income earners in a demanding professional field that is difficult to take time away from, particularly during early career, without suffering negative consequences.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 09:14 PM
1

It depends on the people involved and their income levels. For me, I prefer being in a relationship where my career is prioritized. In most relationships where both parties are high income earners, the man's career will be prioritized by default. For me and my partner, him being a SAHP would be transitory for 3-5 years. I don't see the problem with that. Many SAHMs follow a similar path. All this said, I will be earning over five times as much as he does in a couple of years. Having a high incom…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 09:06 PM
1

However, the job of the working parent is dramatically easier if they have a wonderful stay-at-home partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 06:08 PM
1

Not if you're a good STAP. Being an excellent caregiver to children is hard work.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 06:04 PM
3

This isn't true in all cases. Men who want to be SAHDs for the right reasons should look for women who are more ambitious and career-motivated than they are. One of the reasons I'm with my partner is his desire to be a stay at home dad in the future. He talks about that possibility with genuine excitement. He is great with children and would be a very active and present parent. I trust his abilities to care for children, make healthy meals, clean, do fun activities, and manage the household. If …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 05:49 PM
1

This is simplistic. Men value commitment, too. When I was single, I experienced two separate instances of men wanting to turn a causal sex relationship into something more serious. I did not want a serious relationship with either of these guys, so I rejected their advances. I imagine this scenario is not uncommon.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 05:36 PM
1

First year associate salary is over $200k. It's ridiculous. Is it worth it? Well, I'll see.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 04:29 PM
0

First, I don't. Second, big law.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 04:26 PM
1

You sound like a parasite, my friend. I pity you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 08:29 AM
2

Did you not write, "Why should I forgo my privileges if women aren't willing to do so?" I was responding to that comment. I don't want to get into a conversation with you about wealth and status. I can't convince you to care about other people. I come from nothing, and I guarantee I will be making more than you do now when I graduate from law school. I am happy to pay taxes and fund social welfare programs because I care about the humanity of others. Money is money. I have everything I need and …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 05:23 AM
2

I don't care about your money. What privileges are you talking about? I am happy to forgo any "privileges" of womanhood. Privilege on the basis of sex is sexism.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 05:11 AM
-1

Those people scare me, honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 05:03 AM
3

No. I hate those people because they are (a) hypocrites or (b) greedy thieves. I'm not jealous of anti-social behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 04:47 AM
1

I'm certainly not arguing that I'm a good "fighter," but I can defend myself. I did martial arts for years and have taken several self-defense classes. I encourage all women and men to learn self-defense. Tbh, I don't think most people (men and women) on this sub know how to physically protect themselves or use a gun.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 03:42 AM
1

I definitely acknowledge that I've been lucky in my past relationships and, for the most part, my in-person interactions with men. Past trauma and abuse can certainly shape the ways we see ourselves and others. I'm very glad to hear you found someone wonderful. No one deserves to be mistreated.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 02:21 AM
3

Women and men can both nurture and protect. My partner and I both have nurturing and protective qualities. These traits are not mutually exclusive. I know how to fight, use a gun, and cook. My partner knows how to do all those things, too. In fact, I have a lot more experience with firearms than he does. Regardless, like any sane person, I hope I never have to use a gun against another living being. So does my partner. I wouldn't be with him if he was hungry for violence. Live the life you want …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 12:58 AM
2

Imo, all people should know basic self-defense. All people should know how to cook, too. My partner does the vast majority of the cooking because he's good at it and likes doing it. I'm better at other things, like long-term financial planning. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. Cooking has nothing to do with sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 12:41 AM
4

Uhh, my partner is an amazing home chef. He makes dinner for us almost every night and breakfast on the weekends. He loves cooking, is always trying new techniques and recipes, and has an impeccable understanding of flavor. I don't think he would be happy if I took over...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 12:05 AM
1

That's not been my experience at all. I asked out my partner of over half a decade. Things are going very well!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 02:32 PM
13

Can confirm as a woman who dated/dates "like a man." It makes everything exceeding simple for me. Men love it when women take initiative.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 12:59 AM
1

I encourage you to develop good conflict resolution strategies that don't involve engaging in physical violence. Even if someone else initiates the fight or conflict, most of the time, you can walk away. I would never fault a man (or woman) for being above violence. I think it shows maturity and good character. Even if a person randomly punched me in the club or something, I would be very disappointed if my partner punched them back. What if the person had a gun or a knife? It's better for both …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 11:37 PM
1

I know how to handle myself in high conflict situations (in the exceeding rare instance they happen). I've only encountered the scenario you mentioned while on my own, and I simply walked to a more populated area. Homeless people are not just looking to hurt others. They are just desperate and/or going through mental health struggles. I would be very upset if my partner decided to hurt a random person acting erratically in public.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 11:22 PM
0

I see no basis in reality for your claim. Most women do not use dating apps (myself included).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 08:22 AM
7

I have literally never dated an abusive or terrible man. One man who I hooked up with took off the condom mid-sex, and I straight up walked out and left at that very moment. That is the worst experience I've had with a man I voluntarily decided to interact with in a sexual manner. However, I've been harassed, name-called, and even stalked by several men who I've rejected. Some men are horrible to women. We can not control this. There is nothing I did to prompt or promote such behavior besides te…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 05:26 AM
1

I don't think that's true. Likely some, but definitely not most.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 12:01 AM
2

I'm sorry that you're going through a hard time. As a fellow human being, I take solace in my ability to change, learn, and grow.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 05:40 PM
1

It's okay! I just don't cuddle with my friends as an adult. I might be the weird one here. Lol. Who knows.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 05:38 PM
1

Yes! That's what I've observed.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 05:36 PM
1

I don't disagree with you at all. I meant "social skills deficits" in the context of the NT world.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 05:36 PM
2

What? I honestly have nothing to say to this. Your claim is not rooted in reality. You couldn't pay me to be with a man I didn't like. I'm sure I'm not alone in this opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 05:33 PM
2

Oh, yeah. I definitely love cuddling. It's generally an intimate activity to me, though. I only cuddle with my partner. I guess I also cuddle with my young nieces, but in a way that is soothing/comforting to them instead of to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 04:14 PM
4

I'm not saying that. However, all people need to be desirable on some level in order to find a partner who they also desire. That is just common sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 04:00 PM
1

How old were you? I feel like "platonic" cuddling is a thing only hormonal teenagers do.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 03:32 PM
9

Of course, that's just logical. Everyone has to be desirable in some capacity. However, there are a lot of ways men can add value to women's lives besides making money.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 03:22 PM
8

That's not true. I am happy making more than my partner. However, he brings a lot of things to the table. He's incredibly supportive of my career, cooks dinner for us almost every night, and is generally a wonderful person.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 03:03 PM
–

I'm not a gift person, but I'm buying my partner a car because he needs one.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 02:59 PM
0

Yes. I do. I view every person as a unique individual. That's why I hang around this sub talking with men, some of whom don't view me as an individual, nuanced person. However, there are certainly some assholes in this world. I don't dispute that some women are cruel to men who they don't find attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 01:46 PM
1

I don't dispute that passport bros feel rejected by western women. However, personally, I have never met a woman who wants attention from men who they find unattractive and do not want to date. That does not make sense at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 01:43 PM
2

I literally just provided my truthful and honest preferences. Of course, muscles are attractive. Some women love six packs. Personally, I like men who are fit but not as "lean," I suppose. That's why I wrote "fit in an outdoorsy way." My partner is strong and has muscles. However, he doesn't go to the gym. He plays sports every day, goes outside a lot, and is generally active. I think a lot of women are attracted to men like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 01:40 PM
1

A lot of women don't use dating apps. Personally, when I was single and tried out the apps, I found them completely unhelpful. It's hard to get a sense of what someone really looks like and, even more so, their in-person presence and personality, from a profile on an app. I even met someone who I initially saw on Tinder in person a few months later. I did not swipe on his profile, but he was very cute, a lot more attractive than he came across on the app. Furthermore, I've met both of my LTRs in…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 06:15 AM
4

How many women have you talked to about this? Yes, many women like men who are taller than them. However, "tall" is subjective. A man who is under 5' 5" is likely going to struggle, unfortunately, but most men are taller than that and, indeed, taller than most women. I don't dispute that height can be a barrier for some men, though. I have never had a celebrity crush in my life. I'm attracted to men who are fit in an outdoorsy way (like me), taller than me, wear glasses, have good style, and hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 05:20 AM
3

Come to think of it, the geese in my neighborhood can be kind of aggressive sometimes. I guess I'll ask my partner to fight them next time they squack at me during my morning walk. Lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 05:02 AM
4

What do you think "most women" find attractive in men? I am genuinely confused when guys say this. I feel like my friends and I have very different "types" of men we're attracted to. I've also rejected several men who were my ideal physical "type" but had unattractive personalities. This, too, seems to be a very common experience for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 04:44 AM
8

For people who don't want children, their partner's fertility isn't (or shouldn't be) an issue. It only becomes a consideration if you do want a family.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 01:20 AM
28

I understand why you might feel that way. As a woman, I'd love for having children not to impact my body, earning potential, and career advancement. The prospect of pregnancy sounds so restrictive and humiliating to me. I feel demoralized by the role women must play as wives and mothers instead of providers. I wish I could be a "father" in the traditional sense. My partner would make a better "mother" than I would be anyway. There are many people who don't feel comfortable in their prescribed ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 12:52 AM
9

Wow. This is the most shocking comment I've read on PPD today.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 12:24 AM
22

We live in the modern world. My partner and I protect each other from modern threats. I text him if a car crash is on his route home or if I get an emergency alert. We lock the doors when one of us leaves the house. He reminds me to shut the windows at night. What kind of special "protection" do women need from men in the modern world?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 10:06 PM
7

No. Never. I like humans, despite all their human flaws, imperfections, and idiosyncracies. I love my partner for his humanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 08:33 PM
4

How is that straightforward? If women don't want these men, why does that change when they leave? What evidence shows that these "passport bros" were even considered "back up" options for any subset of women?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 08:25 PM
2

But, aren't you arguing that American women are bitter about passport bros because they want to date those men? I just don't see how that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 08:19 PM
2

No, the number of households where both spouses earn similar amounts as well as the number of female breadwinner households are both increasing. Given the widening gap in male and female educational attainment, I imagine these dynamics will only become more common. Generally, in my experience, women stop working during marriage if the cost of childcare is more than her income. However, the number of stay-at-home dads is also increasing. Male breadwinner households are at most around 60%. The oth…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 08:16 PM
4

Why would those women suddenly want them once they become sex tourists?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 08:02 PM
4

Don't men become passport bros because the women in their countries of origin didn't want them?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 07:54 PM
7

We all hold implicict biases and unconscious sexist beliefs; so, to an extent, we're all sexists. However, some people evaluate and deconstruct their implicit biases, and some people lean into them and overtly adopt them. We characterize people who confidently, overtly, and regularly espouse anti-women beliefs as misogynists. Everyone has the ability to learn and grow. Very few people self-identify as a racist, misogynist, or any other form of bigot. I don't see how one could accurately measure …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 07:45 PM
2

The "liabilities" of marriage you're referring to only apply the party who makes more money. Increasingly, women are outearning their male partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 07:33 PM
6

From what I've observed, most passport bros online discuss women in poorer countries in a superficial, idealized, and generalized manner. They don't seem to enjoy the food, culture, and language of the countries they visit. Instead, they promote a one-dimensional, reductive, and impersonal view of the women in those countries. It comes across as some of these men view women as merely stereotypes and sex objects.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 07:22 PM
10

I have a relationship with a man who I love and is perfect for me. I don't like "passport bros" because they, by and large, are sexist assholes who don't view women in the global south as real people. Of course, some "passport bros" are perfectly decent men. I don't have a problem with those guys. I definitely have no interest in dating men who are "passport bros." Why would I? Even if I didn't have a loving relationship, our values would likely be incompatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 07:03 PM
4

You're making a lot of assumptions. If given the option of paying for a wedding or investing the money, I would unequivocally choose to invest. My partner, on the other hand, is a creative. He's great at sticking to a budget, but he's not very financially savy. I help him manage his investment portfolio.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 06:49 PM
1

What? A legal document doesn't determine the strength or level of commitment of a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 06:39 PM
4

My partner is the same. He cooks for us almost every night, cleans just as much (if not more) than I do, and generally makes my life so much easier. That wouldn't suddenly change if we got married.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 06:33 PM
–

I would take the interaction you described as flirting unless she's the type of person who touches all her male acquaintances like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 06:24 PM
16

I agree. My partner and I have been together for over half a decade. Extended family, acquaintances, and colleagues frequently ask me if we plan to get married. He is asked that question far less often. The reality is that he is far more interested in marriage than I am. He enjoys the "family party" element of wedding ceremonies. I think weddings are a waste of money and veiw marriage as an outdated concept. We have medical POAs for each other already. We both make money. What's the point? That …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 06:22 PM
–

How close of friends are you? I think that is the biggest factor here. I touch my very close male friends more because we have life-long friendships and know each other well. Context also matters a lot. I don't ever touch people's bare chests or stomachs (besides my partner, of course). I'm also not a gym rat. People who lift a lot, I've noticed, generally touch each other's muscles more. There are so many factors at play here.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 06:03 PM
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No. I also wouldn't say that in a paternity fraud situation. Both scenarios involve a lack of knowledge and consent on the part of one or both parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 04:51 PM
2

So, you would like your "legacy" to be piece of shit degenerates?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 01:55 AM
2

Sorry, I overlooked that part of your comment. Yes, that is true. However, people in Scandinavia are still grappling with some of the same economic challenges that we have in the United States, such as expensive housing costs and an insecure job market (particularly for young people).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 01:06 AM
5

That's not entirely true. There are a handful of factors at play. Personally, I would love to have kids soon. However, I will likely never have kids because of the cost of childcare, poor parental leave policies, our declining public education system, an increasingly anti-worker economic landscape, and deepening wealth disparities on a global level.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 12:41 AM
3

No, usually neurodivergent people understand each other better, which can lessen the impact of social skills deficits.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 12:13 AM
3

No, you don't. You are not the arbitor of masculinity and the male experience. Frankly, your delusions of grandeur really hamper your credibility here. Look. I don't have kids. I have no skin in the game. I don't fault men (and women) who only want to raise children who share their genetics. I'm not talking about single mothers and paternity fraud here. Sperm donors are a completely separate issue. Infertility can be a huge struggle and a mentally challenging experience for both men and women wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 12:09 AM
3

This thread is about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 11:58 PM
1

My point only pertains to men who use sperm donors. Don't mischarterize my argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 11:58 PM
6

How? I give that advice to women, too. I also had to learn to actively listen. My advice is gender-neutral.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 11:54 PM
3

I don't care if you lecture me about periods. You might have some insight I do not have. You do not speak for the overwhelming majority of men. How pompous and presumptuous of you to claim that. This is what you fail to grasp--no one forces a couple to use a sperm donor. They do so because they want to have and raise children. OP's claim is irrelevant in this scenario.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 11:53 PM
2

You are correct that nothing in life is guaranteed; however, having an absent and uninterested parent almost always leads to lifelong attachment issues. What gives your life meaning? What do you value in life? I am genuinely interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 11:47 PM
4

This is a debate forum. I will comment on what I please. Your argument is nonsensical. I don't speak for all women, and I have no idea why you think "women" tacitly support this kind of behavior. Use reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 11:42 PM
3

No, it absolutely does not. Genetics is one-half of the equation. I understand why some people do not want to raise kids who are not biologically related to them. However, you do not speak for all men. You are not the arbitor of who is or is not a father. I have every right to lecture you on what it means to respect men and fathers. You are disrespecting adoptive fathers, foster fathers, and every man in this world who understands what fatherly love feels like. You are reducing men to their gene…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 11:39 PM
3

How sad it must be to view life in such a cold and mechanical manner. The children "not starving" is not my point. Humans are social animals. Most of us value our familial bonds. I truly can not understand your mentality here. Does anything have meaning to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 11:29 PM
4

How is that someone else's kid? That would be his kid. Using a sperm donor does not make a man any less of a father. Your mentality is so disrespectful to men and fathers.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 11:23 PM
3

My ex wanted to have a baby. We broke up. That's what you should have done. It's incredibly immature (and, imo, immoral) to create a life just because someone else "wants to be a mom." What is even the point of having kids with these women? Your children will undoubtedly be traumatized by virtue of having a parent who doesn't care about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 11:16 PM
5

Wow. Your comment invokes a sense of callous inhumanity. I feel pity for you. Why did you father these children? Why even have children if you don't want to be a father? What is the point of your miserable existence?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 11:10 PM
2

How is someone a "beta simp" for being infertile and wanting a family?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 11:06 PM
8

How would the children die without government assistance? People have families, friends, churches, etc.? All of those resources were utilized before government assistance programs and continue to be used today. Furthermore, women have jobs? It sounds like you want to fuck a ton of unintelligent, unemployed, and impoverished women. Wow, what a "legacy" you'll have.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 11:04 PM
3

I think that's a pretty common sentiment. I know several autism/ADHD pairings who seem to have a lot of chemistry, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 09:46 PM
9

Advice like that is so challenging to give as it's very dependent on the individual man and the type of women that man wants to date. However, many autistic men I know tend to struggle with active listening. Asking questions about others that reflect a genuine interest in their lives/keep the conversation going is a skill that I think all men who struggle with socializing should focus on.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 09:43 PM
10

For sure. Men are held to more rigid standards of "masculinity" than women are to "femininity." I definitely don't think this is a good thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 09:20 PM
12

I completely agree with you here. Women's autistic traits, such as bluntness and predictably, can sometimes even be an asset in dating. Men tend to like it when women are up front about what they want, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 09:18 PM
12

Although I agree that autistic people are not always good partners, the forum you're referencing obviously suffers from severe selection bias. People who are in happy relationships don't usually complain about their partners online.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 09:15 PM
4

Most people on this thread agree and are acknowledging how difficult dating is for autistic men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 09:12 PM
25

Ding ding ding. Studies consistently show that autistic women mask better and more often than autistic men. I think masking and social skills are the key differentiators here.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 09:10 PM
2

I love sex. I'll take it or leave it with chocolate.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 05:30 PM
4

You are forgetting that many people don't receive adequate sex ed, know where and how to access contraception, or even know how to use contraception correctly. The pill and condoms are extremely prone to failure. In fact, all forms of birth control can fail. My friend's baby was conceived while she had an IUD, which is rare but definitely can happen. Not to mention, many, many, many people use birth control incorrectly. Birth control, including the morning after pill, can be expensive and hard t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 05:19 PM
4

A fetus is not a child. But if it was, I suppose you wouldn't mind if I used your body for my own survival. I need a new kidney in order to live. OP, send me your address. I'm going to travel to your location and connect myself to your bloodstream. I didn't ask for my kidneys to stop working. I need to use yours. If you disconnect the cord, I will die. I am young and have a bright future ahead. I have family and friends who love me. It would be immoral for you not to let me use your kidneys, rig…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 10:01 AM
5

How can you possibly assert, "don't have the kid if you can't afford it alone," while acknowledging that abortion access varies by state? Many women don't have the option to terminate a pregnancy and/or they face EXTREME social pressure surrounding that choice. Imo, I think "financial abortions" should be permitted. However, that can not and should not happen until women have universal access to affordable contraception and abortion care. I think the prospect of financial abortion would encourag…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 09:51 AM
1

What? This is all conjecture, my friend. I've never been rejected or broken up with, which I suppose distorts my view of the subject. I agree with you that people (men and women) who overvalue romantic relationships are only hurting themselves. However, there are many women who do not think that way. In fact, I know far more women than men who are perfectly content being single. That is just my personal experience, however.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 08:20 AM
2

I do not advocate for the burning of books. In fact, historical context is key here. I love books because they offer a glimpse into the past. Are you seriously attempting to argue that cultural context and time do not impact the way in which people frame certain issues? I do not respect your baseless invocation of identity politics. Furthermore, your appeal to authority is entirely unconvincing. A bad argument is a bad argument, no matter the source. I am not a fan of Whiggishness and the assump…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 08:14 AM
1

I don't care about Unwin's sources. What matters far more is his argument, which was heavily influenced by debunked eurocentric notions of social evolution and Western superiority. Those attitudes were extremely common amongst colonial-era writers and scholars.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 12:27 AM
1

This is extremely reductive. I never even liked princess movies as a little girl, let alone thought they reflected reality. I do think, on a societal level, women and men are fed a lot of unrealistic romance narratives. However, like boys, girls also exist in the world and can form opinions about relationships from the examples they see in their real lives. I would guess a very small subset of adult women actually believe in the notion of "Happily Ever After."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 12:13 AM
1

Cell phones and less normalized coke use are two of the many factors that may play a role in this shift.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 12:07 AM
10

Men's issues matter, but you need to stop lying. Half of rape victims are not men. I'm absolutely not denying that men are victims of rape, but it's really hard to take you seriously when you keep repeating an objectively untrue statistic. https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics https://rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence https://www.cdc.gov/sexual-violence/about/index.html
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 04:52 AM
–

(1) He displayed poor grammar, spelling, and syntax. (2) His argument was simplistic, lacking any level of depth or nuance, almost to the point of absurdity. (3) Again, people are statistically likely to interact with and date others of similar intelligence. If the commenter thinks the people around him are stupid, chances are he probably is, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 02:42 PM
–

How exactly does one argue with a person's baseless personal opinion? The premise of this post itself is not conducive to productive argument. Furthermore, I didn't employ an ad hom attack to discredit this commenter's argument. I genuinely think his opinions reflect a low level of intelligence and believe it is highly likely he interacts with unintelligent women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 01:43 PM
6

I agree with you. It's a very sad state of affairs. All people deserve to be seen with respect to their full humanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 09:07 AM
–

There is nothing misogynist about what you wrote. Your experience is completely valid and understandable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 08:29 AM
–

Fair enough. I agree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 08:01 AM
–

Incorrect. An asshole is an asshole. I would MUCH rather be single than date what you define as a "degenerate." Luckily, my partner is genuinely baffled by gender discourse. He doesn't even know what the "pills" are.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 07:48 AM
–

These are most definitely your opinions and not in any way applicable to all men. My man doesn't watch porn. He is completely turned off by artificiality. My partner desperately wishes I had MORE time to spend with him. I have been trying to work less so we can do more things together. I am attending one of the top law schools in my country. I am absolutely certain my partner thinks I'm intelligent. Perhaps you think women are stupid because you, yourself, are stupid. Like attracts like. I wonde…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 07:32 AM
0

100%. You are entirely correct. I'm in an "age gap" relationship. When we met (at a gathering of mutual friends), he thought I was older, and I thought he was younger. We've been together for over half a decade and are very happy. Before me, his past relationships were with women his age. I dated men my age. Our connection was entirely organic. At first, some of our (non-mutual) friends thought the age gap was weird. All of their concerns dissipated as soon as they saw our dynamic. We are really…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 07:06 AM
9

I'm sorry you only know shitty women. Maybe my ability to treat men like actual human beings, listen to them, and comfort them is why I accidentally have so many straight male friends and have had nothing but success in my dating life. I am deeply saddend by how many men feel so uncared for in their relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 06:49 AM
–

I hope your girlfriend breaks up with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 06:42 AM
–

Fair enough. Congrats.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 05:38 AM
–

Are you married to a mentally handicapped person?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 05:35 AM
3

I disagree. I was far more lonely, despite my loving, long‐term partner, when my three closest friends moved away within a year than I was when I was single and those friends were a consistent presence in my life. Intimate, real, and long-term friendships absolutely help with loneliness more than a single romantic relationship can (or should) be expected to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 01:22 AM
6

You are absolutely false. Feminist legal scholars fought for womens' ability to serve in combat in the U.S. military. Many feminists advocate for female participation in the trades and other traditionally male roles. The problem is that people, regardless of gender, are increasingly unwilling to pursue "dirty jobs" that involve manual labor or hard physical work.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 12:28 AM
1

I agree. That doesn't impact my argument. A 50 or 60 year old is not an adolescent.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 03:34 PM
3

Yes? Because it's true? Two things can be true at the same time: (1) men can be attracted to young, beautiful women (including some older adolescents), and (2) adolescents can be easier to manipulate, be more likely to engage in risk-taking behaviors, and have worse long-term planning abilities. Those two propositions are both true and do not condrict each other. Thankfully, as humans, we have the power of reasoning and empathy. We have the ability to understand that acting on some of our primal…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 11:27 PM
3

You're arguing with no one. I don't have a problem with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 11:06 PM
3

I would love to have a child. I love children and am an amazing auntie. Because I have so much love for the young and innocent, I will not have children. I'm deeply unhappy with the way society is progressing and the extreme wealth inequality in my country. I feel so sad for children today. So many of them are struggling. Since I love children, why would I want to subject them to such an increasingly hostile, consumption‐focused, isolated, and divided world?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 11:05 PM
1

Yeah. I'm saying that the 18-year-old was likely coerced or manipulated, and the 26-year-old was not.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 10:46 PM
3

So? How does that relate to my comment whatsoever? I was just pointing out a reason why the Sharpe and Theron cases are different.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 10:43 PM
2

Intellegence has nothing to do with it. The fact that a person's prefrontal cortex changes significantly during adolescence is not controversial. Puberty ends for different people at different times. I agree that the "age 25" thing is a myth. However, studies have confirmed over and over again that adolescents are more likely to engage in risk-taking behaviors and are worse at long-term planning. I literally am not against age gap relationships. I am in one. I was financially independent at the …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 10:41 PM
1

The fact that a person's prefrontal cortex changes significantly during adolescence is not controversial. Puberty ends for different people at different times. I agree that the "age 25" thing is a myth. However, studies have confirmed over and over again that adolescents are more likely to engage in risk-taking behaviors and are worse at long-term planning. I literally am not against age gap relationships. I am in one. I just don't think these two situations are comparable for the vast majority …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 10:36 PM
1

I think it's more difficult, generally, to coerce older people into sexual relationships. I could see a lot of younger men being attracted to Charlize. I don't think a relationship between a 26-year-old and 49-year‐old is too beyond the pale, personally. However, if the guy was 18-20, that would give me pause.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 10:19 PM
3

How does that have anything to do with my comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 10:14 PM
2

You are insane to think an 18 year old is any way comparable to a 26 year old. Very different stages of brain development. I say this as someone in a (slight) age gap relationship who has been both 18 and 26 years old.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 06:23 AM
1

I think many young men feel rejected from society as well. You can see as much from the comments on this post. Narratives about what it means to be a man in the context of romantic relationships are also part of society. Agree to disagree on this point. If you do not think men are rejected or shamed by society for being "feminine," I can not convince you otherwise. I am not a man, and I do not speak for all men. I listen and believe men when they tell me how they feel and what is bothering them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 04:57 PM
1

You don't think men judge other men for being "too feminine," even in gay spaces? I know many gay men who would beg to differ. I'm not arguing that men and women are not different on some level. However, it's undeniable that gender roles are also influenced by society and culture. There are many traditionally feminine traits and social roles that can and do make men good partners and fathers. None of this is black and white.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 04:52 PM
1

It's okay!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 04:46 PM
3

Our work culture is extremely dehumanizing these days. My argument is explicitly anti-capitalist. We need to change the way "work" is structured in our society.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 04:45 PM
2

This is very perceptive take. I completely agree. Not all men are going to be on board with this proposition, and the feminist movement was (and continues to be) the same in that regard.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 04:42 PM
1

I agree. I need to find a better word to describe the social dynamics I'm talking about here.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 04:39 PM
2

👏👏👏 Exactly. Thank you. You understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 04:38 PM
2

You are adding negative interpretations to the limited and not all-inclusive examples of "feminine" traits that I used in my post. All traits can be negative and maladaptive if taken to their logical extremes in vacuum. As for your interpretation of home-orientation, I literally was not thinking of the situation you described. Sure, chronically online young men exist, and I think that state of being is unhealthy. Not all people are like that, though. There are lots of men who are socially compet…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 04:32 PM
5

This is a fantastic case study! I've noticed this societal shift, too. I was not aware that this change is/was related to a concerted effort by the South Korean government. This gives me a lot to think about. Thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 04:00 PM
3

You are certainly a seeker, my friend, but not only that. I love the nuance, effort, and thoughtfulness that is readily apparent in your comment. TNG rules, and I am a fan of Renegade Cut, too. I truly appreciate your willingness and ability to speak up about these important issues. At the end of the day, we are all just people trying our best to navigate an increasingly complex and hostile world. We both know who our real "enemies" are, and they're certainly not the people posting on this sub. …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 06:09 AM
2

Ah, it's been wonderful to see a like-minded person here! I am similar to you, with a range of amazing male and female friends in my life. I think I stay here and comment because I'm genuinely concerned about the state of gender discourse (and social politics in general) online. We're all just people, and we need to work together if we want to advance society in a way that works for all of us. That's a long travel day! Goodnight and take care!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 01:23 AM
3

Many of my closest friends are men. I discuss these issues all the time in my real life. Did you read my post?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 01:17 AM
1

I'm not arguing that sexism against women and gendered expectations no longer exist for women. I'm simply arguing that the acceptable roles for women in society have expanded a lot more than the acceptable roles for men. Women going into male dominated fields will generally still present very feminine, probably even more so than those in female dominated fields. This has not been my experience nor is it in line with my observations about women in historically male-dominated fields. Some are femi…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 12:50 AM
5

Thank you! it’s also why so many of us are lost and rely on social movements who want to enforce traditional gender roles I think you are spot on here. I love that you and your friend were discussing this issue. There is a lot of nuance involved in dissecting and analyzing the societal structures we tend to take for granted. It can be tempting to search for a simple solution in the midst of such complexity. Reactionary movements are great at capitalizing on those feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 12:33 AM
2

Gay and straight men tend to have different lived experiences as men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 12:20 AM
1

I completely agree with your point about gay men. I'm predominantly talking about straight men here. The queer community is robust and can be very supportive. Straight men often lack such social support. Furthermore, gay men ARE stigmatized for their femininity and frequently experience bullying and social rejection, especially as children and adolescents. The social support factor is key here. People who feel rejected for who they are often turn to communities of similar people for solutions to…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 12:18 AM
1

I agree that I was inconsistent in my framing. You are right to point that out. Current female-dominated fields, like teaching young children and hairstyling, have traditionally been considered women's work. Sex work was also considered "women's work" for that matter. Many of these jobs were (and often still are) not compensated well nor viewed as value-producing in the same way as "men's work." I hope we can agree that men (particularly straight men) are often stigmatized to some extent for pur…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 12:03 AM
3

Thank you for your comment! But even if you disagree and think that men and women are held equally to their social roles by society or that women still have it worse than men in this regard, we should all agree that the mission should be for men and women to work together to deconstruct enforced social roles for everyone. And the reality is that yes, men and women both play in part in enforcing these traditional roles upon each other. We should be looking inwards and asking ourselves how we indi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 11:44 PM
3

I am not arguing that men and women are not different. However, it is undeniable that society and culture also influence gender roles. There is no biological reality that dictates women are better than men at cooking or cleaning or that men are better than women at working outside of the home. Regardless of the extent to which gender roles are biologically controlled, there will always be people who deviate from the average person of their sex on a biological level. Those people deserve to live …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 11:17 PM
1

I don't agree. I'm talking about "traditional" femininity and masculinity. Working outside of the home and owning your own business are traditionally masculine activities. I like what Harry Styles and Jaden Smith are doing, but the issue extends beyond style and clothing. I would like to see more men discussing the (very real) issues men face in female-dominated caring professions, like teaching, their experiences as stay-at-home dads, and, in general, the ways they have been harmed by gendered …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 10:37 PM
3

I see what you mean. I wish I had a solution to this problem, but I don't, unfortunately. Although it may be true that some people are inately attracted to certain characteristics (in both men and women), culture certainly plays a role in attraction as well. Women and men both play a part in enforcing social roles. Changing societal attitudes is hard and requires time. That's why I think such a change could only be resolved through collective action of some kind. What that actually looks like, h…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 10:11 PM
2

I completely agree with you. I think we are regressing. However, I still think women have far more latitude to deviate from gender roles than men do
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 09:56 PM
2

The expectation that men are "natural" providers who shouldn't discuss their emotions, ask for help, or rely on other people. The expectation that men must always pursue women, be assertive, and display strength. That staying home with children or having a caretaking role is emasulating, among others.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 09:52 PM
4

Social rejection, isolation, shame, insecurity, and a higher likelihood of joining reactionary political and social movements because their voices are not heard, and the expectations placed on them by society are too stringent. Truthfully, I think this entire sub and TRP are a result of the issue I discussed in my post.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 09:45 PM
3

I think many men are. Complaints about the unfair expectations placed on men are all over this sub. I've heard such grievances from the people in my own life, too. You may not be, and that is perfectly fine. Many men, however, are bothered by the social role they must conform to in order to be respected as a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 09:42 PM
1

Yes, exactly. I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 09:35 PM
2

The charaters you listed are all comedic charaters. We are laughing at them, not with them. I'm also not arguing that clumsiness and stupidity are admirable traits. I was simply responding to the original commenter who said that "competitiveness, unabashedness and sexual initiative" are stigmatized in men, which I do not think its true. I think you agree with me here.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 09:34 PM
2

I do not have all the answers, my friend. I think men should focus on the structural issues that are harming them instead of placing blame on individual people or groups. I think they should talk about this issue and continue to talk about it. Focus on messaging in a way that brings people to their side. I am not a man, so I cannot speak for men here.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 09:28 PM
2

Feminism was not just a legal movement but also a social and cultural movement. I am not discussing feminist jurisprudence, though I agree that it's the core foundation and the most important part of the feminist project. The feminist movement did not stop at moving away from couverture and fighting for suffrage and no-fault divorce. The legal, social, and cultural components of feminism are intrinsically linked. Women could not have won the legal rights that we have without changing hearts and …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 09:22 PM
5

No, they are negative traits to YOU. And again, sensitivity is not emotional immaturity. Home-orientation has nothing to do with being indoors. For example, some people love gardening and building furniture and working on other home-related projects. Just because you don't want a person like that doesn't make it a negative attribute. Your critiques of passivity, submissiveness, and indecision are all extreme examples. In my own life, my partner is more passive and submissive than I am. Our dynam…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 09:05 PM
3

Yes. Exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 08:49 PM
2

Yes. That is precisely my argument: men's social role is limited by society's preference for masculine traits. I'm not saying sexism against women does not exist in any form. I'm just arguing that less advances have been made to free men from their traditional social role than have been made for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 08:48 PM
2

What? That was not my point at all. I said I cannot think of a single male character/politician/important person who is celebrated for being uncompetitieve, risk-adverse, and asexual. I know a ton of important male social and cultural figures who are celebrated for traditionally masculine qualities, such as "competitiveness, unabashedness and sexual initiative," which were mentioned in the comment I was responding to.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 08:45 PM
2

Exactly how I described. Collective action, changing norms, and speaking loudly and often about their social goals.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 08:40 PM
6

Competence in what way? Someone could be very competent at their high stress job but completely incompetent at managing relationships. Different traits are valuable in different situations. Some people are better at certain activities than others. Your description of the list of traditionally feminine traits I mentioned is proving my point. None of those traits are negative, yet many people perceive them negatively. Sensitivity is not emotional immaturity. You can be sensitive and emotionally ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 08:38 PM
1

Public shame, mockery, and social rejection. Anyone can do anything, but there will always be consequences. I am arguing for a social shift, a collective movement, aimed at changing hearts and minds on what a man is allowed to be in society. These kinds of shifts necessitate collective action.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 08:08 PM
2

What kinds of people are glorified in film, politics, and business? Are they people who are uncompetitieve, risk-adverse, and asexual? I, personally, cannot think of a single cultural figure (particularly a man) who is revered for those qualities. I'm not saying women have complete freedom to break out of their defined gender role. However, things have undoubtedly changed a lot. Femininity is less strictly enforced on women than masculinity is enforced on men. Women, broadly, are able to embody …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 08:03 PM
7

Thank you for sharing. This is a perfect example of what I'm talking about. My partner is amazing with kids. So many men are great caretakers. There is nothing weird about a teenage boy working as a babysitter. I babysat a ton as a young teen, and I never even took a class. You were probably more qualified than I was.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 07:48 PM
1

Eh, I don't agree that religious institutions and matchmakers necessarily help people get into better or more fulfilling relationships. More long-lasting, perhaps, but not necessarily happy or genuine. When I go to libraries, they are often empty. I see fewer and fewer young people at the farmer's market. At coffee shops, more people are working on laptops and avoiding conversation. Even 10 years ago, it was a lot different. I wouldn't necessarily blame women for this state of affairs. Every soc…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 06:16 PM
1

That makes sense. I agree with you overall. However, a common theme I've noticed in my life (and on this sub) is that a lot of men and women really struggle with where to go to meet other single people. As a result, they end up resorting to apps, bars, and clubs. All of these options are pretty awful. I'm not sure how to address this issue in society, but I definitely think both men and women are harmed by our general increase in social isolation and lack of community spaces that don't involve d…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 05:22 PM
1

I see nothing hypocritical about the second two women you listed. Men and women can (and, arguably, should) have higher standards for people they want relationships with as opposed to just sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 05:11 PM
4

What does personality mean to you??
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 04:05 AM
2

I mean, some people use other people for all sorts of things. I don't have an argument against that. All I am saying is that you (perhaps unintentionally) misrepresented the post you were using to back up your point. And, yes, I do think people can grow up and form better dating priorities. I disagree with the OP here, to be clear. I don't think using people is okay, and I don't support transactional relationship dynamics (at least in my own life; idgaf what other people want, as long as they're…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 09:30 PM
3

That is not what the post says? I'm not saying her reasoning is right, but many people grow up a lot after having kids. It could just be that being a single mother helped her figure out what she actually wanted in a partner (ex., emotional maturity, low drama, less excitement/chaos, kindness, etc.). OP literally did not bring up resources in his post. She may not have been thinking about his "resources" at all. It's truly unclear from the post, so I don't think this example supports your argumen…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 09:15 PM
4

The thing is, based on what that OP posted, commenters were confused about what his partner meant. It is very unclear what his partner's reason for making that statement to her friend was. Her comment could have had nothing to do with his "resources." I am certain that the commenters on the post would have been a lot more negative towards OP's partner if his partner actually said she was only dating him for his resources. Edit: clarity
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 09:06 PM
–

That doesn't change my point. I would still rather be single.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 12:52 PM
–

It's your choice who you want to date. I know it's harder for a lot of men to find relationships and intimacy than it is for women. However, I would rather be alone forever than be in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect my time, consider my emotions, or value me as a person. I was happily single for a long time until I found my current partner of seven years. It was absolutely worth waiting. Still pursue casual sex if you want to, but you don't owe anyone a relationship, especially i…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 06:30 AM
–

I would be so pissed if my partner did something that to me. Nothing about my post is sex-specific. Respect goes both ways. I encourage you not to accept emotional immaturity from the women in your life. I absolutely don't, and I certainly don't expect my partner to regulate my emotions for me. It sounds like you need to consider whether you want to be with someone who treats you like an emotional doormat.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 06:03 AM
5

If that has been the case for you, perhaps that partner was/is emotionally immature. There are tons of emotionally immature men and women in this world. I suggest screening for emotional maturity before entering a long-term relationship. It's vitality important if you want something sustainable.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 02:46 PM
5

That's a perfect example of someone demonstrating a lack of respect for their conversation partner. I really feel for men (and women) who do this. They are obviously struggling. Still, it's not okay to unload your problems on a stranger who is not equipped to emotionally support you.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 02:35 PM
5

Why not both? It's a wonderful skill to be able to regulate yourself by engaging with your hobbies. My partner and I both do it all the time. This has nothing to do with women specifically. Men don't like to be "trama dumped" on either. Would your bro like it if you called him the night before a job interview to tell him all about your most traumatic life experiences and worries? No, I'm sure he'd feel like you don't respect him. Emotional vulnerability requires mutual respect. The "rules" are e…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 02:28 PM
9

Trama dumping is unloading extremely intense, sensitive, and traumatic experiences on another person at inappropriate times (ex., your partner just woke up or is trying to meet a pressing deadline at work) without consideration for their capacity to listen and emotionally handle the information you're sharing. It can also apply to sharing tramatic information with people who don't know you very well. We all trama dump sometimes, but it's exhausting for anyone to be a trama dumped on constantly. …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 02:04 PM
1

Yeah, both men and women can desensitize themselves to intimacy (ex., the "death grip" or the overuse of porn for men), but that doesn't have to do with vaginal loosening. Vaginal loosening is strictly related to a woman's pelvic floor muscles. I'm definitely not a fan of using motorized toys for masturbation. I can see how it can be desensitizing for some women over time. I only ever use my dildo to practice pompoir. I'm of the opinion that masturbation is simply to stratch that itch. It should…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 01:38 PM
–

I actually agree with you. I do care about people in this sense. I just view it as unconditional care and respect, not love. To each their own, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 01:25 PM
0

Some women are born without hymens or with very thin or minimal ones, too. I was born without one.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 03:14 AM
3

^ This guy fucks women. You know what you're talking about. Edging is peak. Most men can not do it well. I will also add: LADIES, DO YOUR KEGALS!!! Vaginas do not permanently stretch from sex (like OP unscientifically believes), but, for women, kegals can absolutely help tighten you up and give you more control. Women can also do some verrrry pleasurable things for their partner if they have good control of their pelvic floor muscles.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 02:59 AM
4

That still would not change the elasticity of a women's vagina. Pelvic floor strength is all that matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 01:48 AM
–

I agree with you that terms like "patriarchy" and "matriarchy" are ultimately useless, particularly in forums like this one and other non-academic settings. You seem amenable to discussion, though, so I'm going to use the term "patriarchy" in the following paragraphs in accordance with how I perceive it as an embedded societal force that arranges different lives for men and women based on socially constructed identities. I am doing this not to be divisive, but to demonstrate how and why I think …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 01:11 AM
–

I actually don't disagree with any of your points here. However, I am very interested in your claim that "the patriarchy is the matriarchary." What exactly do you mean by that? (I tend to avoid using the term "patriarchy" on this sub because it is often either (a) invoked in bad faith or (b) misinterpreted in bad faith. I don't think a lot of people on here have an accurate and/or neutral understanding of the concept. However, it sounds like you are operating in the realm of nuance, and I apprec…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 11:10 PM
–

That's not exactly how I see it. However, I do think women are held to unnecessary (and sexist) appearance standards in the workplace. Makeup is one of those standards. However, in my experience, I've only seen this standard enforced against women by other women. Personally, I've never felt the need to wear makeup to get a date, but I have, in fact, felt pressure to wear makeup to networking events and job interviews in order to look "put together." Although I don't think it should matter, I wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 10:40 PM
1

Generally, I read arguments like yours on this sub with respect to the expressio unius est exclusio alterius principle. However, if that is not your intention, I am confused by the point of your argument. Yes, women who possess the attributes you described are amazing. And, so?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 10:29 PM
4

I think there is a human loneliness epidemic. I don't refute, however, that many men are struggling. I simply think the characteristics OP described are not exclusive to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 10:24 PM
–

We've already established that I don't care about your personal attacks. Your argument is built on faulty premises that you have yet to substantiate. Until you back up your claims, I'm not going to entertain your argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 06:54 PM
–

So your only retort is, "we all know it's true." I don't think what you're claiming is true at all. I apologize for writing with intellectual integrity and qualifying statements that ought to be qualified. Do you have any sources to back up your points? I'm not just going to "take your word for it." Your claims contradict my experience of reality. How is the onus on me? You're the one making definitive claims about what most women and men think. Extraordinary claims require evidence. My claim is…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 06:45 PM
8

Nothing you wrote has anything to do with sex. Both men and women can be amazing in the ways you listed.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 06:37 PM
–

I see that you have not refuted any of my points and are instead relying on personal attacks. I'm happy to discuss this matter further if you wish to engage in some critical thinking today.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 06:34 PM
3

True love is an active choice. It takes maintenance, compromise, work, and, at times, sacrifice. Unconditional love is meaningless. I don't want a partner who will stay with me even if I'm hurting him and making his life horrible. I want to add value to his life. I want him to love me for who I am and how I treat him, not "just because."
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 06:25 PM
13

100%. It's sexist to expect men alone to pay for dates. I prefer 50/50 in the "getting to know you" stage. In relationships, I am a fan of trading off on who pays. In my long-term committed relationship, we put date expenses on our shared credit card for the points.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 06:17 PM
–

Did you not write, and I quote, "[w]omen understand that men, being visual creatures, generally find women with some amount of makeup more attractive than without"? I don't think your premise is accurate for two reasons: (1) I don't think all women (or even a majority of women) think makeup makes them more attractive to men, and (2) I don't think all men (or even a majority of men) generally find women who wear makeup more attractive. I think both of your implicit claims are basisless. It's okay…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 06:00 PM
–

It's so crazy to me. Most women I know who wear makeup do so because they enjoy the hobby and/or it's a creative outlet. Of course, some women wear makeup due to insecurities, too, but that is certainly not everyone. I have never felt like not wearing makeup has impacted my dating prospects at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 05:44 PM
3

It's not just her, dude. Many (not all, but many) women have this same experience. I have a high sex drive, but there are points during my hormonal cycle when I simply don't experience spontaneous desire. HOWEVER, unless I'm ill or very stressed, my partner can almost always turn me on by giving me a massage, cuddling, and other forms of sexual touching. All of this is perfectly normal for many women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 05:20 PM
8

I don't entertain stupid thought experiments. I say, "not all men," too. Moral and logical consistency feels nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 01:12 PM
-1

My past LTR ended because he was unable to show weakness and be vulnerable. My ex's severe emotional repression was extremely unattractive and untenable. My current partner of seven years is the exact opposite. He's sensitive, reflective, empathetic, emotionally open, and expressive. My absolute favorite things about him are his abilities to understand, articulate, and healthfully express his emotions. I'm so grateful to love a man who cries when he feels sad and can clearly communicate his feel…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 05:55 AM
1

100% There are lots of musically-inclined women in this world. I love listening to my partner play music, particularly when he's playing his own songs.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 02:33 AM
1

That's awful. She's a horrible friend. If a "friend" spoke to me like that, we would be done forever. Friendship ruined. Not all women are like that. I promise. When my (male) friend was going through a mental health crisis, I sent him a list of psychologists in his city (we live in different cities) who would accept his insurance and seemed like a good fit. He's been seeing one of them for over a year now and is doing SO much better. Friends care about their friends. That woman is not your frie…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 02:08 AM
2

As long as you're morally consistent and don't want to engage in casual sex either, it's fair for you to think that. I, personally, would not date a man who hasn't had casual sex because we'd be sexually incompatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 03:32 PM
2

I have a problem claiming that there are general preferences held by a majority of men? Nothing about my comment singles out men or women for operating differently than the other sex. I'm not sure why you keep bringing that up. My argument applies to both sexes in equal force. Do you have any proof that most women find romance novels and boy bands hot? If so, do they all engage with these pop culture artificacts for the same reasons? Some women liked John. Some liked Ringo. Some liked the feelin…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 03:27 PM
0

I don't deny the existence of normal and typical traits in men or women. I'm not sure where my post said anything of the sort. However, our likes/dislikes, preferences, interests, hobbies, personalities, etc. are influenced by numerous genetic and environmental factors. In science and medicine, "normal" is often not a binary. "Normal" is usually a range. Furthermore, do you think every single human trait could possibly be represented by a single bell curve? It is statistically and literally impo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 06:33 AM
3

Doxxing is absolutely never okay. I think it goes both ways, though. I think this whole situation is very revealing of how little respect we have for each other on a societal level. It concerns me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 01:19 AM
1

I don't care what his options were/are. He chose me and has continued to choose me for the past seven years. I don't get jealous when women hit on him. He doesn't get jealous when men flirt with me. We tell each other those stories and laugh together because we trust each other. I treat him well because I love him. He also treats me with tremendous love, support, and care. If he wants to leave, he is welcome to do so. I know he won't, though, because we have a healthy partnership. In my opinion,…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 11:25 PM
1

I don't understand your first point. My partner is the most attractive man I've ever met, and he adds immense value to my life. I wouldn't trade him for the world. You can and should find a partner who wants you for who you are and loves you as you are. It's not easy. You may have to be single, reject women you date, or be rejected to get there, but it's worth it to find someone who treats you with respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 11:10 PM
2

No, my argument was explicitly agreeing with you. The fact that someone not just goes to the gym (that's one thing), but looks like a stereotypical "gym bro" does not reliably reveal a whole lot of useful information about what their personality and values are. That's it. It sounds like you agree with me. A lot of people make assumptions about someone's personality based on, as you stated, their "cultural, artistic, and social" preferences and/or "type." I'm not shocked that people who look one …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 10:27 PM
1

I don't have a Facebook account (or any public social media). Nice try. I don't care about who you think I am. I know who I am. I see that you have resorted to personal insults instead of refuting any of my points. That's okay. If you wish to engage in some critical thinking, I'm happy to discuss this issue further.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 10:06 PM
2

Why? What do you gain by overanalyzing what "league" you or someone else may be a part of? I can't imagine that people who consider things like leagues agree on who fits into them. How has this mentality helped you?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 10:02 PM
1

Why do you need to be especially deferential to a prospective partner? That's not what the OP said. You need to know your worth. Have confidence that you are the most desirable man to her. If she doesn't think you're the most desirable man, know that she's not worth your time. Have some self-respect. This is the same attitude I use to approach dating as a woman. It's a universally applicable mindset based on the values of self-respect, self-worth, and self-confidence. If I man doesn't want me, h…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 09:59 PM
1

Yes, some people share similar interests, hobbies, and styles. No, that does not make them identical or necessarily even similar to each other with respect to personality, values, and preferences. I, personally, have had numerous friends tell me since I was a teenager that I am hard to categorize into any particular subculture or "type." However, just because other people engage with trends or conform to certain norms does not mean they are not unique individuals. For example, one of my best fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 06:51 PM
4

I can imagine a million different reasons why someone would lie about another person anonymously. It's not fair to those who are posted on the app to (1) have no way to know that potentially false information about them is being spread and (2) have no recourse to take down false information that is posted about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 05:18 PM
3

Yeah, I agree. It's a messy situation. I feel bad for all innocent parties.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 05:02 PM
4

However, I have a hard time imagining a court would look favorably on a claim built on leaked personal data. I'm not arguing about the ethics of bringing a lawsuit, I just find it hard to believe many men will actually sue or be successful. That's precisely why these groups are so harmful. It's not easy to access justice if you're lied about.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 04:57 PM
2

I wasn't aware of that. Access to usernames certainly would make it easier for potential plaintiffs.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 04:53 PM
3

No, it's not a low bar. Lower, but not low. I'm a law student. I'm not saying someone can't or won't sue, but it's not as easy to prove a defamation claim as you may think. Also, and this is the most important part, most people don't have the money to sue over something like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 04:50 PM
2

Unfortunately, because men were unable to create accounts, it's going to be difficult for potential plaintiffs to (1) know that a defamatory claim was made about them, and (2) trace that claim to an individual user. The user data leak does not rectify those problems. Most lies and/or mistruths spread in groups like this one are not per se defamation. In those cases, potential plaintiffs would have a higher bar to clear. Also, again, litigation is expensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 04:41 PM
2

I agree. Assumptions and generalizations are, by and large, the problem with this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 04:28 PM
5

Eh, I doubt it. Lawsuits are very expensive and time-consuming. The revelation of users' personal information is not going to help build a case that they were making defamatory statements on the app. However, I certainly hope that anyone who was defamed sues.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 04:27 PM
8

Being an individual doesn't make me special. You're an individual, too, believe it or not. No one's lived your life except for you. Acknowledging that we're all individuals is the furthest thing from delusion. It's an undeniable fact. Just because SOME people share SOME things in common does not mean everyone thinks the same things and holds the same beliefs. Do you think every single trait a person can have is on the same bell curve? That's preposterous. We all are influenced by a combination o…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 04:25 PM
1

That's fair! Maybe you're more into ethical non‐monogomy? I can respect that. The lack of variety in LTRs is why I think sexual compatability is so, so important. I highly value that my partner and I like to spice things up and explore together sexually.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 04:18 PM
8

Yeah, so? I spoke on the phone with a female friend earlier today, and we discussed how disgusting, invasive, and predatory the Tea App is. Andrew Tate had a huge following. I don't walk around assuming all men are Andrew Tate sycophants. Edit: Removed red pill mention for precision. I'm trying to keep it cordial and productive.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 03:40 PM
10

Women are not monoliths. There are a ton of different types of women in this world. There are also a ton of different types of men, too. My partner doesn't use Reddit. He is baffled by gender discourse on the internet and finds it to be stupid and reactionary (he's correct). I definitely don't agree with all the women on this sub. I agree with some of the men and women on this sub and disagree with others. Even within this small, self-selecting group, there is a lot of dissent. I don't know why …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 03:35 PM
5

Exactly. That's why I don't understand why some men are so offended by women who have casual sex. I chose my partner because he is my ideal person and the hottest man I've ever met. I had a lot of opportunities for other relationships. I wasn't willing to give up my singleness for just anyone. I chose, and continue to choose, him because he's wonderful.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 03:00 PM
7

That is absolutely not true. There are a ton of rude men (and women) in this world. There are also a ton of people who are generally NOT rude to others. We all have our moments, but this generalization is not rooted in reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 02:55 PM
6

I love your attitude. It's very healthy. Some men on this sub should be taking notes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 02:48 PM
1

I agree with you completely. My partner and I have been together for seven years. I have no intention of ever getting married. I love that our relationship is an active choice. I could leave him at any time. He could leave me at any time. I know he won't, though, because we both add so much value to each other's lives. Partnership without marriage, to me, is more real and less coercive. I'd only ever consider marriage for tax reasons. We have medical POAs for each other. Why do we need an expens…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 02:46 PM
2

Why do you think the concept of "leagues" is important? It's never been a consideration for me, ever, and I've managed to have a healthy and robust sexual and romantic life.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 02:11 PM
1

Good question. Looks, not personality, were deprioritized in my hookup selections. I only sought casual sex with guys who I was attracted to, of course, but I was open to hooking up with guys who might not be my ideal type but came across as generous lovers. That was my most important hookup criterion--would the sex be good? My second important criterion was whether he found me very attractive. I was looking for passion and good sex. Looks mattered, but they certainly were not the most important…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 02:03 PM
3

It's pretty hard to date someone who you've never met? Why would Margo Robbie ever have any interaction with a plumber from Indiana? I'm not arguing that social classes don't exist. They absolutely do.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 05:47 AM
2

So many people lack critical thinking skills. I don't think men or women are "all the same." Sterotypes are not reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 12:16 AM
7

It's sooo important to remember that so many people in the real world do not care about or engage with gender discourse on the internet. It's good to take a step back sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 11:17 PM
1

I'm not making a claim. I don't need to provide evidence. I asked you to substantiate the claim that women as a group differ less than men on the basis of personality, likes/dislikes, values, and interests. You know, some of the many attributes that lead people to behave differently and have different views. I did not mention intelligence. Differences in intelligence are one of the many, many ways people can differ. That doesn't tell me anything. Also, an AI summary is not a reputable source.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 10:27 PM
0

Okay, so you have no evidence. 👍 I'm not making a claim here.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 10:20 PM
15

I agree. The concept of leagues is so silly. If some people on this sub got off dating apps, went out into the world regularly, and started viewing other people as unique individuals instead of ranking them, I think they would find a lot more fulfillment in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 08:45 PM
4

Do you have any data to support your claim that women are more similar as a group than men on the basis of personality, likes/dislikes, interests, values, etc.? Your claim is extraordinary and requires extraordinary evidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 07:51 PM
-1

You have such a shallow view of sex and relationships. Does it make you happy to stalk my post history? Are you having fun?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 06:44 PM
3

How is that disingenuous? I was single?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 06:41 PM
2

That's such an odd question. What do you mean by "types of men"? I view people as individuals. The word "sampling" is also pretty gross and dehumanizing to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 05:21 PM
5

I have literally only ever been shamed for my sexual history on this sub. Some men on PPD reallllly don't like women who have casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 02:06 PM
18

Your friend's response to a compliment reads as bitter to me, not independent. Compliments are normal. Personally, I would LOVE more men to adopt an attitude of security and independence. It's completely fine to not need someone else to be happy. I don't need a man in my life. My partner doesn't need a woman in his life. We choose to be together because we care about each other. Personally, I think men and women who are desperate to get into relationships are only hurting themselves. In my opini…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 01:57 PM
3

You're just wrong. My partner is not a liar. He's on good terms with a lot of his exes and women he's had flings with in the past, several of whom I've met and think are nice people. My partner has a lot of friends. None of them struggle to get laid. We've never asked for each other's "body counts" because that's weird behavior. However, based on math alone, I'm certain he's slept with more people than me. It's weird that you think you know more about my seven-year relationship than I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 01:23 PM
1

I know for a fact that is not true. Lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 01:08 PM
2

Yes? And? He had plenty of casual sex before we met, too. He doesn't care.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 12:55 PM
–

I do say "not all men" when discussing rape and sexual assault. Not all men commit rapes and sexual assault. Men and women are not monoliths. Edit: spelling
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 12:22 AM
–

I don't think all men believe this. By and large, generalizations are the problem on this sub. There are a lot of women who fall into this trap, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 12:20 AM
–

Not really. As a feminist, I disagree with the framing of both of your points. I think it's reductive. In my opinion, all people should be critical and aware of the ways in which the people around them behave. I hate the term "vetting" as applied to romantic relationships. I think it's an inhuman approach to dating. I also think it's a problem for anyone to hold stereotypes or generalizations. We all must evaluate whether our beliefs, particularly as they relate to blanket assumptions about larg…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 12:16 AM
–

I have literally never met either of these archetypes in real life. Real people are nuanced and complex. We don't fit neatly into contrived boxes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 12:02 AM
–

Not all women think these rating tools are moral and useful. I, personally, find them abhorrent. OP is a man and thinks they're a "step in the right direction." Can you make your point without disparaging half of the global population?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 12:00 AM
–

To your point, I seriously don't understand why anyone would take the opinion of a random woman or man on the internet as truth. Miscommunication is not abuse. There are a multitude of reasons why someone might write untrue or misleading things in a group intended to "discuss" former partners or dates. This is all the more reason to avoid online dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 11:38 PM
–

I don't think ALL "feminists" and "anti-feminists" agree with the points you listed.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 11:30 PM
1

I agree. Humans are nuanced and unique. We all have different genetics and life experiences. I think the modern black/white approach to relationships and dating is doing everyone a disservice.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 11:23 PM
2

I have never agreed with a PPD post more. This place is fascinating, toxic, and not at all in line with my real-world dating experiences. We're all just people trying to figure things out. I encourage everyone on here to consider that men and women are not and have never been monoliths. I think your critique also applies to the anti-natalist movement. It's perfectly fine to be child-free, but the notion that having children is immoral is borne out of severe overanalysis. Love, sex, relationships…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 11:02 PM
–

I seriously don't understand why any women want to get married. Get a medical power of attorney with your long-term partner. You keep your money, and he keeps his. I like being in a relationship where both parties can leave at any time but choose to stay together. It feels more real and less coerced. My male partner is way more interested in marriage than I am, but only for the wedding element. He likes parties. I, personally, hate weddings and think they're a waste of money. Not all women and m…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 10:49 PM
3

Hard disagree, but not for the reason you may think. Before I was in a committed relationship, I only hooked up with guys who I didn't want anything serious with ever. However, after having to turn down multiple men who wanted an exclusive relationship, to take me on a date, or to have a "situationship" when I explicitly made it clear I was just looking for casual sex with no strings, I now believe men and women are the same in this regard. Some men and women have the capacity for casual sex. So…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 10:35 PM
–

That actually makes sense. Most of my GenX and Boomer relatives and friends don't give a shit about internet privacy, and many are chronically on Facebook. None of the Zoomers or Milenials in my life are ever on Facebook except to use Marketplace. This is anecdotal, of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 10:18 PM
–

Interesting. It might be an age thing. I'm in my mid/late 20s. Younger people may care more.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 10:06 PM
–

That's so weird to me. My social group is pretty anti-social media. Maybe you need to find other people who feel the same. I promise there are many women like me out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 10:00 PM
1

I don't doubt it. Selfies are silly regardless of gender, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 01:57 AM
11

This is a bit harsh (towards the end), but this has mostly been my experience as a woman. I've never used apps for dating (I used them exclusively for one night stands b/c I would hopefully never see those guys again). I was happily single and turned down many, many advances, particularly when I worked in customer service. When I found my ideal man, my current partner, I approached him. We've been together for years now. However, although he is a very attractive man, my interest in him also had …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 12:42 AM
1

What would a woman find attractive about a man specifically being MORE disagreeable and ambitious than her? I think much of your advice is very individual to the person/relationship. You're right that personality can not be effectively faked. However, any man can become quietly confident by knowing who he is, what he likes, and what he's passionate about. A man who puts in the work to understand himself, even if he is a passive and agreeable person, is extremely attractive. I love that my partne…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 12:16 AM
3

I would never date a man with a significant personal social media presence. No social media is ideal. Why would anyone want to date someone who doesn't value digital privacy? Men and women who have real, legitimate businesses are posting their craftsmanship/work/art on social media, not selfies.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 11:41 PM
14

In terms of social groups, I will add that dating a man who your female friends and acquaintances genuinely like as a person and/or are friends with has always worked well for me. The greenest flag to me is whether a man has mutually valued and caring long-term female friendships. Having real friends who are women is a strong indicator that a man respects women as individual people.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 06:55 PM
1

I can't argue with such a generalization. Almost all the couples I know who have been together for over 5 years (like my partner and I) have open and mutually supportive relationships. I hope you're able to find a partner who welcomes honesty and treats you with love, empathy, and care.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 06:41 PM
1

I don't think this is the case. I suppose it depends on where you live and the men in your community/social circle. Most men I meet (and my male friends) are kind, thoughtful, and not chronically online.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 06:35 PM
2

I don't disagree with you here. Many people have shallow views of feminism, including women. The suppression of leftist thought goes to the core of this issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 06:08 PM
1

If you can't rely on your partner for comfort and support, do you even have a real relationship? I've supported my partner during temporary job loss. We both talk about our insecurities sometimes. I would never leave a person I love for being imperfect or having hard times. I'm sorry that you don't know how it feels to be loved in that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 05:42 PM
1

I am not that other commenter. Notice how Plato and Marx were the architects of Platonism and Marxism. Wollstonecraft did not invent feminism. She is important, yes. The architect of the ideology? By no means. Go ahead and cherry-pick quotes from authors you've never read. If you want to have an intellectually honest conversation about feminism, you should learn more about the ideology.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 05:37 PM
3

Why are you citing works from centuries ago?? In what reality would those texts be a meaningful reflection of modern feminist thought? The Declaration of Sentiments was a revolutionary text and airing of grievances at a time when women in the U.S. did not have universal sufferage and legal personhood. That does not reflect modern-day realities. Read bell hooks, Carol Gilligan, Eve Sedgwick, etc. Hell, if you want something older, read John Stuart Mill. Pop feminism is "girl boss" corporate senti…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 09:08 AM
4

That is simply untrue for the majority of feminist thought. Most feminist scholars agree with the position that the patriarchy oppresses both men and women by forcing them into rigid hierarchy on the basis of sex. Pop feminism and identity politics have diluted this principle message.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 08:43 AM
-1

I recommend being more honest with your girlfriend. I am absolutely certain that is not the case with my partner of seven years. He is not online at all. He's too busy making art and music, getting out into nature, and working on his other hobbies. He doesn't even have a PC. Lol. Meanwhile, I'm the law student with the triple monitor setup.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 08:11 AM
6

I don't necessarily agree that the vast majority of men are red-pilled, but I can say that one thing I adore about my partner is that he does not care or engage at all with internet gender discourse. When I occasionally mention prompts from this sub, he finds them odd and silly. He is better than me. Lol. However, I don't think you need to conflate being a decent (or blue-pilled) guy with paying for the first date and other (imo) performative acts of chivalry. Treating your potential partner the…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 07:41 AM
-1

What if masculinity was an individual quality? Why does it need to be a broader category?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 05:27 AM
2

Okay, I understand where you're coming from. I'm sure that statement is true to your coworker, in a sense, based on his personal experiences, the stereotypes he has internalized, and perhaps even the women in his social group and community. I know this is a hypothetical, but he probably wouldn't say this to me as a very direct and confrontational white woman. Lol. However, assuming he did, I would probably either (1) make a joke or ask a question about his past relationships (challenging a way i…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 03:50 AM
-2

Why are you trying to categorize yourself? What value do you derive from that?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 03:30 AM
3

For example, if 50% of women could potentially be classified as "more emotional" then men (depending on your interpretation) or 30% of men could be said to be "simple creatures" (whatever that means), then the generalization would have "some truth" to it. However, it would still be broadly meaningless, conceptually unhelpful, and essentially false. Just because a generalization contains some truth does not mean it is THE truth. In fact, said statements can contain far more falsehood than truth. …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 03:23 AM
3

To me, crediting a broad generalization as true in some circumstances or analyzing its roots does not reveal a lot of useful information, especially on this sub. "Some truth" does not mean that the statement reflects reality in any meaningful sense. Sure, we can contextulize the origin of stereotypes and generalizations, but what's the point of doing so if they are simplistic, unfounded, and/or based in animus? Critiquing the validity of a generalization, particularly if it relates to a quality …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 02:46 AM
4

I don't think we have similar understandings of the term, quite frankly. I acknowledge that was not your point. However, quibbling over definitions is precisely the problem with generalizing statements. Unless you precisely articulate an argument with clear teams and reasoning, it's difficult to have a productive conversation. Vague statements like "women tend to be more emotional than men" are not good prompts precisely because they invoke a broad range of interpretations, in turn leading to un…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 02:19 AM
2

What does the term "emotional" mean to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 02:04 AM
1

How is self-determination nothing? YOU decide what kind of man YOU want to be. That sounds pretty liberating to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 01:57 AM
24

Bingo. I don't know any successful, relatively well-adjusted men who care about body count.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 11:11 PM
3

I just valued other things above looks, I guess. I find interest and banter very attractive. I would chose the guy who could banter in a flirty way and seemed really into me over a boring gym bro type. To me, confidence and the sexual dynamic simply mattered more than looks. However, during my casual sex days, the guy still had to be attractive to me on some level. That said, I would simply leave a hookup if I didn't vibe with someone, regardless of physical appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 11:04 PM
3

Lol. Some women do not want to get married.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 10:58 PM
3

Looks did matter but they were by no means the most important factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 10:28 PM
5

This does not speak to my lived experience. Before I was in a relationship, I was open to hooking up with guys who might not be my ideal type but came accross as generous lovers. That was my most important hookup criteria--would the sex be good? My second important criteria was whether he found me very attractive. I was looking for passion and good sex. Looks mattered but they certainly were not the most important factor. For a relationship, looks became a lot more important to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 09:47 PM
1

I'm sure that applies to some people. However, those people are desperate. I turned down many guys during my dating years. It took a lot for me to want to date someone, as relationships require sacrifice and work. I refused to give up my singleness for someone who wasn't my ideal match. I think more people (men and women) should adopt a less desperate mentality to dating. I loved being single and was unwilling to give that up for someone I didn't have great sexual and emotional chemistry with. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 08:40 PM
2

Wtf are you talking about? I have never, ever tried to date or wanted to date anyone who I've hooked up with. Those experiences were casual. No feelings. I've also never been rejected by a man I've wanted to date. Quite the opposite, actually. I've never been rejected or broken up with, and I've rejected a lot of people. My current long-term partner is the most attractive person I've ever slept with. I don't NEED any man, and I definitely don't need a man's money. I WANT my partner, and he wants…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 08:22 PM
5

That is simply not true to my experience at all. I would never date a man who I wouldn't hookup with, but I would hookup with a man who I wouldn't date. The distinction is compatability, personally, and values. A man who I slept with twice wanted a more serious relationship. I turned him down because I did not find him interesting or that attractive. He was very nasty about it. My partner is 100% better than that guy in every way. He is the most physically attractive and caring man I have ever m…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 07:44 PM
2

Why would a man feel insecure about hookups? I've only ever hooked up with people who I have no interest in dating or likely even speaking to in the future. Viewing someone as more than a hookup is a compliment. My partner of seven years does not care about my sexual history. Edit: In fact, my partner wanted to wait to have sex longer than I did because he felt we had a strong connection. He didn't want to rush into things.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 06:53 PM
6

Don't kid yourself. I know many infantialized men AND women. I (as a woman) have been financially independent since the age of eighteen. I put myself through college by working full-time. There are many of us. Throughout my time in college, the workforce, and now law school, it's become incredibly apparent to me how many of my male AND female peers have never had to face real adversity. The difference stems from class, not gender. Wake up.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 07:22 AM
3

Do you have an example of this "hivemind" you're referring to? I think both men and women are influenced by ideology. Still, there are many free-thinking people out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 07:12 AM
2

Thanks for elaborating. I see your point now. However, I don't really buy your argument. It seems more plausible to me that women who tend to behave in a rude, sexist, or anti-social manner are more likely to date men who tend to display those same negative qualities. For example, a shallow woman who views relationships in a transactional manner probably wouldn't date a man who doesn’t try to impress others and wants an egalitarian relationship. In short, I think it's more plausible that the sub…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 02:20 AM
0

What are you talking about, dude?? Some women and some men do all of the things you listed. Some women and some men do none of the things you listed. This is not a grand conspiracy. Some people (men and women) behave in inconsiderate, disrespectful, and/or distasteful ways. Some people do not. It has been this way since the dawn of humanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 01:27 AM
5

My partner is not good at making money. However, he's extremely creative, great at budgeting, and very supportive of my career goals. Not to mention, he is a fantastic cook who makes dinner for us every night. The value he adds to my life is priceless. YOU decide what kind of man you want to be. You don't have to conform to gender stereotypes to be happy or find companionship.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 04:50 AM
2

Your ex-wife sounds like an absolute piece of work. I'm so sorry she treated you so poorly. I hope you know she is not reflective of all women. My partner was physically and emotionally abused by his ex-girlfriend. I know how hard it is to trust again after being hurt so badly by another person. I wish you nothing but healing. I'm glad your son has you. Please take care of yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 05:43 AM
–

Your comments brightened my day! It sounds like you're working very hard to build a better life for yourself. Keep doing what you're doing. You should feel proud of the initiative you've taken so far and the self-reflection that has brought you to where you are now. I'll be rooting for you, stranger.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 01:48 AM
15

I love your comment!! You're 100% right. The issue with "office siren" attire isn't that it's sexy; the issue is that it's inappropriate for a workplace setting. I'm a law student (former paralegal), and I feel great when I go to work/court/networking events looking my best. There is absolutely a way to dress up for work without getting judged as unprofessional or dresscoded by HR. I worry that the young women who participate in this trend will have to learn the hard way that showing too much sk…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 04:26 PM
6

You are a refreshing ray of light on this sub. Thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 05:18 AM
3

Not only is your mindset antisocial, but it is also genuinely repulsive. Basic empathy is a fundamental part of the social contract.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 03:51 PM
1

My point is that adopting the mentality outlined above will help you gain agency and the confidence you need to solve your own social and romantic problems. You can't change society, you can only change yourself and your mindset. There is not a one-size-fits-all solution to attracting women. First, you must construct a healthy foundation for yourself. You can then focus on properly diagnosing your troubles with dating and take active, individualized steps to improve. I may be a woman, but I've s…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 04:43 PM
2

Ok. I'll bite. Honestly and truly, my advice is to do things that make your feel competent, valuable, and proud of yourself. I am certain you're a unique, talented, and capable man with strengths you don't even know you have yet. Spend your time on things that make you feel confident and productive and stop doing things that make you doubt yourself. Don't compare yourself to others. When you are struggling, take proactive steps to change your situation and outlook. Embody resilience. Analyze you…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 05:24 AM
–

Awww, I love this so much. Your girlfriend's dad sounds a lot like my dad. Your relationship also sounds similar to mine. I am so grateful for the two amazing men in my life! They get along really well too. Lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 04:28 AM
0

Maybe start viewing women as regular human people. That might help you get to know them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 04:10 AM
9

Ritalin is not a SSRI. Lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 05:36 AM
2

Wow, I can't believe how much push back you've received in response to this simple comment. Thanks for the sub recommendation. Men referring to adult women as "females" in strange contexts is a pet peeve of mine. Imagine if a woman used the phrase "women and males." To me, this phrasing clearly reads as disrespectful to men. The same goes for "men and females."
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 04:51 PM
2

No, I'm not familiar with the concept.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 04:13 AM
3

What does this mean?? What is "damaged" femininity?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 04:05 AM
1

Not high income earning women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 02:08 AM
5

That's not what I'm saying. I think people who have similar lifestyles are more likely be compatible long-term. If one party loves quiet at-home activities and the other hates having a quiet home, that could also be a source of incompatibility in my eyes. To me, it comes down to what you value as opposed to the specific activities and interests you have.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 09:10 PM
1

Although that is true, marriage has been intertwined with religion for hundreds of years at this point. And you're right; marriage was invented as a legal contract to bind women to men permanently. If not a religious institution (which I still argue it is), marriage, traditionally, is a deeply sexist and patriarchal institution that, up until less than a century ago, served to uphold conservative and religious values.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 06:43 PM
1

I appreciate your perspective! I did not attend my high school and college graduation ceremonies, and I do not plan to attend my law school graduation. I might just dislike ceremonies and nebulous contracts.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 06:31 PM
1

Traditionally, yes. Marriage, particularly the celebration of marriage, is a religious institution.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 06:18 PM
1

I agree that marriage may be beneficial should one wish to have children. As you guessed, I am not a huge fan of performative social signaling, and it would not be meaningful to me in the same way it may be to others. As for your first point, I love that my partner and I chose each other every single day without external coercion. However, I understand that my opinions may differ from yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 06:14 PM
1

Marriage can also be financially detrimental in the event of a divorce or if both parties are above a certain tax bracket. I like to know exactly what terms I'm agreeing to when I sign contracts, but the plethora of laws surrounding marriage makes this task more difficult. I actually hate ceremonies. Lol. I don't refuse to attend them out of respect for those who care. I'm not an asshole. However, I don't celebrate my own birthday, nor have I ever attended one of my own graduation ceremonies.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 06:08 PM
1

For some people.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 05:58 PM
1

I agree. I think weddings are often social displays. However, I'd rather my partner and I put the money we'd spend on a wedding into our 401(k)s. If our friends and family want to celebrate our relationship, they are welcome to pay for a party.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 05:57 PM
1

Good explaination! I find all of this quite sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 05:53 PM
1

Ha. I find that kind of funny. I'm sure some people fit that description. Personally, I don't like performative and symbolic displays that don't serve to benefit me or my relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 05:52 PM
1

I completely understand why you would want to get married for legal and financial benefits.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 05:50 PM
0

Sure, but you can also choose the legal restrictions and benefits you wish to impose on your relationship. I disagree with your perspective on ceremonies, but that is more a matter of preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 05:48 PM
1

I suppose we have different perceptions of family. My partner is my family. We share our lives with each other. My best friend of over 10 years is also my family, more so than many of my blood relatives. I'm not knowledgeable about all the legal benefits of marriage outside of the U.S., but I can understand wanting to marry for legal reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 05:46 PM
0

if one dies, the other inherits all the others stuff. if you have kids, they get stuff when you both die. it keeps your wealth in the family. A non-married couple can make these arrangements. If one of you goes to hospital or goes incapacitated the other makes all their medical choices A non-married couple can make these arrangements as well. some people feel a lot of joy and stability in declaring their forverver love to the world. That's fair. If you're in your twenties, or early thirties it's…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 05:40 PM
3

Very interesting! I appreciate the intellectual honesty of your caveats. Thanks for the link!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 05:31 PM
0

So it's about other people, then? I can understand that, but I find it distasteful and vacuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 05:08 PM
1

Because I don't need others to validate the love and commitment I share with my partner? What's so cynical about that?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 05:06 PM
1

No. Why would a person do that?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 05:05 PM
1

I am a woman. I agree with all of your points except for your last paragraph. My opinion is that marriage does not confer a special level of commitment or security, not that non-married people are somehow more committed than married people. You can obtain all the tangible benefits listed in your last paragraph without marriage through other legal processes.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 05:01 PM
4

I love this answer. This makes a lot of sense!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:54 PM
1

I see your point. Marriage certainly benefits the economically disadvanged more.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:54 PM
1

That largely depends on your tax bracket.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:53 PM
2

Sure, in theory. It doesn't often pan out that way. I have yet to see an explanation of how married couples are any more committed in practice than long-term, non-married couples.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:52 PM
1

I am not a nihilist. Marriage is a religious tradition. I a not religious.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:49 PM
2

Okay, I understand your perspective, particularly after you edited your comment. I disagree with your stance, as I don't think marriage signifies commitment, but I understand where you're coming from.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:46 PM
1

"Mental illness." Lol. I'm self-sufficient.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:43 PM
1

No you didn't. You said marriage doesn't change the day-to-day operations of a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:40 PM
1

I think external social pressures play an outsized role in this issue. Most of the legal and economic benefits of marriage can be obtained without marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:38 PM
1

That makes sense. For me, marriage would be detrimental from a tax perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:36 PM
1

I don't understand the social benefits angle. It may just be a difference in our values and personalities. The tradition argument makes sense, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:35 PM
1

I don't disagree with you. What's the point of marriage to you, then?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:30 PM
1

I am not religious.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:23 PM
2

That makes sense! Thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:23 PM
5

I largely agree with your points! The children issue makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:21 PM
1

There is a difference in girlfriend and wife treatment to me. I will not plan for a future together with a boyfriend. I will not be a permanent, ongoing caregiver for a boyfriend. I will not relocate for a boyfriend. I will not change jobs for a boyfriend. Okay, how is there a difference between the "girlfriend" and "wife" treatment? I am also a woman. My partner is relocating for me without marriage. I also refuse to be an "ongoing caregiver" for my boyfriend. We're both adults. I'm not his mom…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:20 PM
2

How does marriage uniquely allow for real future planning and security? Two people can marry within months of dating. How is that relationship more secure than two unmarried people who've been together for 5+ years?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:13 PM
3

Your perspective makes a lot of sense to me. Thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:09 PM
1

Stability how? I know marriage has some legal benefits. Many of them, however, can be obtained outside of marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:08 PM
1

I don't think drawing conclusions based on the volume of Reddit posts about a subject is logically sound. However, anecdotally, women do seem to care more about marriage than men. Why do some men care about marriage, then? Personally, my male partner is a lot more interested in marriage than I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 04:07 PM
1

Very true. I understand why one would marry for a visa.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 03:59 PM
2

I like this answer a lot. Could he not add your kids to his plan without you two getting married?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 03:57 PM
1

I'm very aware of the fact that marriage is a contract. Why do you need to sign a contract to solidify your relationship? What unique benefits does it bestow upon a couple, particularly if both parties work? I suppose I understand the celebration angle. However, to me, a wedding seems like an imprudent financial decision.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 03:56 PM
2

I am a woman. Lol. Women are not the only people who want to get married.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 03:51 PM
2

Thank you for your perspective. I understand the visa angle. However, one can still get a mortgage or a medical POA with their long-term partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 03:50 PM
20

I think a willingness to support and encourage your partner's healthy interests and hobbies is more important than enjoying similar things. Also, I think diverging interests become more important to a relationship the more they involve a person's lifestyle preferences and values. If one partner hates exercise the other loves exercise, a relationship would likely be difficult to maintain. However, if one person hates running and loves pilates, and the other loves running and hates pilates, I thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 03:24 PM
11

One cannot debate in good faith without using a shared definitional framework. Clearly, you disagree with Wikipedia's definition of oppression; yet, you have failed to propose an alternative meaning. Merriam-Webster defines oppression as unjust or cruel exercise of authority or power. Under any standard definition, "inconveniences" are not oppression. However, enforcing biological essentialist views on gender through law and social stigma could be construed as oppressive to those who do not conf…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 07:12 AM
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