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marcelmarceau1972 Archive

View 0 posts and 38 comments by marcelmarceau1972 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

It's a difficult situation; I think you are right on the cautious approach, not meddling. Maybe just getting closer to the weaker side to try and make sure that -in their circumstances- they are safe. Also, watch and avoid replicating any side on your relationship, as we tend to copy behaviors. One thing I haven't seen in the comments, but I add here because you mentioned simp, porn, the age difference, is that your father might be willingly participating in the cheating. Just like open relation…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/22 03:17 PM
1

It's a difficult situation; I think you are right on the cautious approach, not meddling. Maybe just getting closer to the weaker side to try and make sure that -in their circumstances- they are safe. Also, watch and avoid replicating any side on your relationship, as we tend to copy behaviors. One thing I haven't seen in the comments, but I add here because you mentioned simp and some behaviors, is that your father might be willingly participating in the cheating. Just like open relationships, …
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/22 03:07 PM
1

It's a difficult situation; I think you are right on the cautious approach, not meddling. Maybe just getting closer to the weaker side to try and make sure that -in their circumstances- they are safe. Also, watch and avoid replicating any side on your relationship, as we tend to copy behaviors. One thing I haven't seen in the comments, but I add here because you mentioned simp and some behaviors, is that your father might be willingly participating in the cheating. Just like open relationships, …
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/22 03:07 PM
2

It's a difficult situation; I think you are right on the cautious approach, not meddling. Maybe just getting closer to the weaker side to try and make sure that -in their circumstances- they are safe. Also, watch and avoid replicating any side on your relationship, as we tend to copy behaviors. One thing I haven't seen in the comments, but I add here because you mentioned simp and some behaviors, is that your father might be willingly participating in the cheating. Just like open relationships, …
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/22 03:05 PM
7

I'd frame your situation as a relationship that is coming to an end. He is the guilty one, not taking care of the relationship. What to do? It depends on your personality. For me, the situation he is doing is a dealbreaker, so I'd have a 'final' talk not as a confrontation, but as a calm explanation of things not being able to continue like that, and since he is not changing, the end is coming. And for you, I know it's a hard situation to be in, you can only learn and maybe give him a last chanc…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/22 06:21 PM
4

I (man) experienced something similar: I was taught the excesses of masculinity, so I ran away from it. At the same time, in my relationship, I knew she wanted me to be the leader but, when I "tried", she complained. In the cooking example you gave, I see how he might be trying to be the leader and tries to 'exert' his authority by not listening and doing things his (wrong) way. I call it our "passive-passive" stage, very frustrating for both sides. He might be confused trying to be the leader y…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 03:02 PM
2

Another perspective is: he might be a bit insecure. As a man, it can be tiring to feel like you are the one always interested as you are the only one initiating. BUT if you respond enthusiastically and re-affirm that's how things work, he'll learn that it's natural that women are responsive and not initiators. Sometimes it's also about some anxiety about expectations. If the expectation is not set, we might feel insecure if our SOs want more or less. The anxiety comes from doubts if we should st…
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/22 08:04 PM
7

He is being immature and looks like he is "out" of the relationship already, but he wants the benefits of being with you over the summer. I went through a similar process, got together at 16 at had a great relationship, but in different colleges we started drifting apart. The reality is I wanted to feel no restrictions, to be "free" to get to know other women. As him, I didn't realize how selfish, immature and hurtful I was. I enjoyed talking to her and being physical (no sex) but I wasn't looki…
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/22 04:59 PM
2

As others said, I think it's him being hurt of being taken advantage of. I only write to share with you a twist on the "50/50" idea. What if 50/50 doesn't refer to splitting in half things but "adding" to other areas? A traditional example is "if you give a woman a house, she'll give you a home". I put 100% money, but she puts so much into it that I feel I could never financially pay for what my wife does and the happiness she brings. You are probably the ONLY one that could help him heal. You c…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 02:46 PM
5

I see two main points: how to tell him that you like being taken care of, and how to deal with the feeling of self-entitlement. As a 'modern' guy, my wife has helped me learn to take care of her and our children. In general, we (men) start from a very narrow focus (ourselves, hehehe), and grow from there. If it helps, know you are helping him learn how to take care of others. Also, if it helps, think about how parents could do everything for their children, but there's nothing more satisfactory …
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/22 02:24 PM
2

I'd let him come up with good solutions for your preferences. Remember men are solvers. I know financial realities, but in many areas you have to take a step back and try and do how you really want it. - Moving that far IS a motivation for him to propose. I'm sure he'll solve it by proposing. You already expressed your position, I'd only ASSUME it's going to be before, and if it comes up just reinforce it the same perfect way you did it ("I don’t think I could move across the country with a man …
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/22 04:23 PM
–

Just to point out that, although he is older, YOU are emotionally WAY more mature! His behavior is awful, his emotional control is terrible, his communication is ugly. My intention for posting this is to say that, in my opinion, women add at least 50% to the relationship (most time they give too much); if the man cannot see this value or only values money or whatever, it's his problem. In my experience, women give themselves fully to the relationships, while we men only give a bit at a time. I w…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/22 03:53 PM
1

My recommendation is to give him time but try and determine specific goals or issues that worry you and see how BOTH of you work through those. For example, you can get interested in his health and, through the Doctor's recommendation, help him set goals and reach them. You are right on the NOT nagging side, but maybe work together with him. Maybe he is self-conscious and doesn't want to go to the gym, but he could invest in a home gym and exercise with you. Again, if you do this to take care of…
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 08:56 PM
1

Sorry you are going through all this. I'm a guy, on the side of leaving him. I'll address one point I haven't seen in the comments: how to handle the cancellation. ONLY IF IT HELPS YOU, I'd talk to the guy and say that you should postpone it due to 'health issues'; if more details are needed, both should agree to mention that he is struggling with his medication. In other words, he should accept the responsibility. I think a postponement should give YOU time and an excuse. If you want to finish …
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 08:01 PM
2

Great! One thing I've seen works for some couples with different libido is the 'all-day physical treatment'. I feel for us men it keeps us 'active' and focused and affectionate on our wives and helps with developing the intimacy. The 'all-day physical treatment' consists of looking for each other and holding hands, hug, being physically close to each other. If you haven't done it, at the beginning it might feel forced, but the physical closeness 'activates us'. I was watching Disney's "The Hunch…
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 03:59 PM
0

The issue is huge, and I'm not here to defend him at all, but I wonder if he knows what he meant. You are not overreacting at all, it's a deep issue. Assuming good intention, his intention to marry is what makes me think he used an awful choice of words. I understand that we (men) usually mean what we say, but we are also pretty bad at expressing what we are feeling. Personally, I hate when men do not respect their SO. But I almost want to ask him to go deeper on what he meant by that, if he rea…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/22 09:02 PM
4

The "how to be charming to other men" post is great. I totally agree with SunshineSundress' comment. ​ how do you politely and in a feminine way turn down other men who flirt with you? In general, men just need to know they have 0% chances. Most of us know pick that up when you talk about your SO. Other basics: don't discuss boyfriend problems with other men. With men, change "I love you" for "that's excellent" or "that's awesome", heart reactions for "clap". If a man still flirts, trust your gu…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 03:46 PM
0

In our case, she is the spiritual leader. I only write to give you the insight that, given your interest, I'd recommend you make this aspect a priority and avoid someone whose faith is not front and center. I'm myself one of the cases where I wasn't big on faith, I thought I'd adapt, but faith (or lack of) is so deep that it took us years and some crisis for me to get close to our faith. I have seen other marriages with similar struggles. We are good now, but I've known many good men whose faith…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/22 07:52 PM
3

Keep moving consistently towards a feminine role but be patient as we men take some time processing change. Also, walk together with him, make sure you both move towards where you want to go as a couple. Sounds easy, but our experience was bumpy. It took me some time to understand why she wanted to change, as we got along well. Then, as I tested my dominant side, I did it in areas she didn't want to, which was confusing. The messages out there about dominance and submission are pretty confusing.…
/r/RedPillWives10/05/22 04:12 PM
10

In my perspective, he was attracted to you and wasn't stable. You handled it well, it's better to distance. I had a situation in a summer course, out of town. What kept me from cheating? I had the strong resolution of being faithful and remember that summer as a good memory. Being older than the average student, I didn't expect to socialize much, but soon realized that lots of women gravitated around me. I kept it to the basics: announcing I wasn't available right and left, never go out one-on-o…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/22 05:41 PM
1

The part of me that pictures a life with him sooner than later wants to confront him so we can figure something out together. My advice is to work towards creating a relationship in which, without a confrontation, you both can help each other. It looks like you are doing your part, but he is neither solving the issue not letting you help. I'm not saying you need to solve the finances, but (as you have offered) you could adjust. I see the red flags others see, and also urge you to stop lending hi…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/22 01:19 PM
1

What makes more sense to me is that this is related to the concept of responsibility and maybe ownership. Simply put: he wants you to be his and only his. This desire stems from his responsibility for you. I'd have to flesh out this idea, but that's what I'm leaning towards. Wonderful discussion; I hope I can add my perspective as a man to enrich (please delete it if it doesn't) the points about n-count and what we desire. I, personally, think that we care about building 'something' bigger/bette…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 08:13 PM
3

I love your posts and the depth of the relationship you mention! As OP mentions, I don't see that it's in disagreement, but I do side with the OP on waiting for marriage. As with everything, it depends on each person's circumstances. "The Final Exam" is awesome, I think it helps a lot to see an important point, but (as with everything) I don't feel it's true for everybody (although I intuitively think it's very representative). I don't think it's only after sex that you take your "horny googles"…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 04:17 PM
2

Men can and we can't. That seems to be true. But do they really not catch any feelings or are they just better at compartmentalizing in general, so they just file away those feelings in the bin folder? I don't know 🤷‍♀️ we'd have to ask the men. In my experience, generalizing, we men catch feelings but we are just better at compartmentalizing, and thus we might never go deep. I've heard stories, years later, of men that remember X or Y girl they had sex with, and you can see the longing. Usually…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 03:04 PM
2

I think you need to rest. Although it sounds you are living the ideal life, it's too much. I found it's really common for us couples to both work to exhaustion. Me and my wife have had that feeling of "wanting to cry" out of tiredness. Try and identify if there are any activities you can "cut". I know there won't be many, we mostly do the essential. But hopefully there will be some. If you both talk, I'm sure he'll get a better idea of what you are going through. It's not only him working really…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/22 06:08 PM
3

You are on the right path. What has worked for us is to realize we are building something different. It helps, especially when surrounded by people who constantly pushes different ideas. We have always been calm when people question our lifestyle, we just smile and know deep we are doing our best to build something *different and much better* in our eyes. Take shared finances. We shared them since we started planning the wedding. One account under both names. Zero issues. And such a HUGE differe…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 02:02 PM
24

I think it's not only the words, but the moment. So, in the moment, a natural reaction is fine: "oh, that's good", "wow, you are pretty good!". The main problem that I see with your playful response it's not the words but what I consider "hearing to reply" vs "listening to understand". With people that you want to relate deeper, it's better to move towards understanding, rather than telling jokes or 'smart' lines. The most important, however, is that I hope you have the ability to talk to him al…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/22 07:03 PM
3

My answer is: "try". Try what? If you like lob, try it. I'd go against radical changes, but I indeed find changing looks very feminine. Yes, men's prefer long hair in women, but I think what we really want is 'different'. Women with short hair look feminine if you can distinguish them immediately from men (through make-up, clothes and other things), and women with long hair look unfeminine if they can't easily be distinguished from men (clothes without shapes). I was recently in a long college c…
/r/RedPillWives27/04/22 05:18 PM
1

Husband here. Sorry about what you are going through, it is VERY exhausting. He has failed. As I see it, his main failure is NOT in what he is doing but in what he is BEING. An identity problem many of us 'modern' husbands suffer. First, please take care of yourself and rest. I know many wives and it is amazing how extreme their lives become with work, kids, life ... and a man child. Please rest a bit. And then more. See if you can get to truly take 1 hour 'off' for a few days, maybe once every …
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/22 04:16 PM
2

As others said, it's a thing. I see it as an opportunity for you be open to meet different people before committing. In the end, what matters is the person that *you* choose, not what others think, but your family and friends are seeing something you are not seeing. It depends on what you value. I have a friend that went with someone she initially referred to as 'the ugly' (she had another very handsome guy pursuing her). She took things slowly, got to know more about the two, and eventually cho…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/22 05:07 PM
8

I'd suggest trying to get emotionally closer to him, asking "how do you feel being a father? what was the coolest thing you remember from your dad?". Personal experience: it took me time to realize I was a father. Usually, sex is only held when "something is not right". He might be thinking: "she's all crazy about the baby and doesn't really need me", or -in general- he might feel "dethroned". It sounds childish but it's true: we resent it. For him, you still might be on the top of the list, but…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/22 09:03 PM
1

Another perspective: improve, taking motivation from him, but improve for you. We men are pretty bad at expressing feelings, it might be that he is also tired and doesn't have as high libido as before, and he shifts it to you. I hope it's not the case but imagine going through all these sacrifices and him saying "oh, I still don't feel attracted to you". Work on your self-esteem. You are a better person that you were when he married you; you have gone through motherhood, experiences ... you have…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/22 05:57 PM
2

To your question on ways to keep calm: - know that a sarcastic comment usually only adds to the problem, rarely solves it. - (as a tactic) think that for each sarcastic comment you'd have to hug the person. Many times, you won't feel like hugging, so don't make that comment. As others said, being sarcastic it's not a problem Abusing it, like anything, might become an issue. For example, it's hard and it hurts to communicate with someone that takes everything as comedy; when you want to get a ser…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/22 02:54 PM
9

We've handled this much better through time by separating "the issue" and "the care". I know your husband is upset, not ready to talk, and offended, but I'm pretty sure he cares about you. What to do? Take the focus away from the issue, and give him an opportunity to take care of you. One way that works for us is to hug. If you approach him in a respectful way, even in stoic mode, you probably can say something like "I'm sorry, I don't want us to talk, I just need a quick hug". The first time mi…
/r/RedPillWives15/04/22 05:26 AM
1

Not sure if I (male) am allowed to post, but here it goes in good faith: most cases I know where male has sex issues, they go back to something we don't agree on. The problem is NOT with your emotions. The problem is usually that he has a problem but does NOT feel that facing it together is worth it. Some of us might feel overwhelmed by being appointed the sole leaders (I know I did). We have that resentment, and then we discover that we can 'protest' by holding our active interest in sex. Here …
/r/RedPillWives13/04/22 04:20 PM
6

Good morning. I agree with all the previous comments, and I feel you also know it's not a strong relationship but might have difficulty getting out of it. So, hopefully in a soft way, know: - You are not 'bad' if you get out of a relationship. It's indeed good to finish a relationship that doesn't work for one side; for example, if someone has doubts about marrying it's really better to hold and/or end the relationship rather than continuing. - I'm sure it will hurt, but you will be fine and he …
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/22 02:12 PM
9

Another guy's perspective: I think he sees a deeper issue/wound that could be making it difficult to forgive. I don't think it's about you having xyz expectations, but the fact that he might still think that you value those expectations more than you value him. My advice is to reassure him (through words and acts) that he is more important than xyz expectations. To illustrate my point, money might be sensitive to husbands as 'beauty' is to wives, so this could be like a husband seeing a wife not…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/22 06:09 AM
3

Great advice in here! I'm only going to add one thing I've seen and experienced: with age, religion tends to become MORE important. If it's important to you now, chances are it will become even more important in the future. I (male) was "indifferent" about religion, but "open" to my wife's view. Soon after we got married, I just dropped the support by letting her do "her thing" and doing the minimum. It became an issue in an otherwise great relationship. She needed more, and with children it bec…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/22 03:26 PM
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