matomasa Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Are married men happier and more successful because they’re married or are they married because they’re happier and more successful I think this is more-less an exact abstraction of how the modern dating market works - people are randomly assigned certain characteristics (such as looks, income, social skills) which correlate heavily with their propensity to find, as you say, a sex-buddy they're compatible with. It is very telling that we would consider this experiment unethical when it parallels reality quite well.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/24 01:27 PM
8	People really do have a "type" when it comes to romantic attraction. According to a study, 50% of people’s preferences for faces is unique to them, and who we find attractive is most strongly influenced by our life experiences. And yet society places immense value in one's abilities to attract romantic and sexual partners. This criterion of determining one's worth would be absurd enough if your attractiveness was defined by a few variables predetermined by factors entirely out of your control (as usually stated on this sub). But then it turns out that it is completely random for 50% of the population so it's even more bizarre.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/12/21 12:01 AM
2	Women should not be shamed or judged or pressured over who they allow to touch their genitals. Its really simple. Compare this with mandatory COVID vaccination. On an individual level pressuring or forcing a given person to have a particular (experimental at that) medical procedure that they do not want is immoral. And yet, forcing them to vaccinate may save the most vulnerable parts of the population. There are no rights in a society that fails. One could argue that rights to personal freedom were taken away with lockdowns. And still, for better or worse, they elected to pursue this route.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/12/21 08:32 AM
0	Sex just isnt worth as much as some of you think it is Something is worth as much as YOU value it. Nothing in this life has any value. It's all arbitrary. We put value on things ourselves. Precisely, but I think the argument is that people mostly pursue sex instinctively and not because they thought very hard about their values and came to the conclusion that sex is very valuable to them. They do chase it but it seems that having it/not having it doesn't impact their overall quality of life all that much.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/21 07:20 AM
1	Women of this sub, would you be okay with your bf not finding you pretty but being attracted to your personality and character? This is how I feel about every man I’ve ever dated - I’m aware ostensibly hotter guys are waltzing around. I just don’t care; if I’m dating a guy, it’s because I’m wildly attracted to him in a way no other man compares to. He may not be the most handsome man around on paper, but I find him knee-weakeningly attractive A question for you. When evaluating a man in the context of relationships, you naturally evaluate all of his characteristics and attributes: looks, personality, character, intellige…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/21 11:10 PM
2	Are attractive guys actually less creepy? the best way for not being creepy is just not talking to random girls on the street People I described above with well-developed social skills will understand that talking to random strangers on the street can be inappropriate and know better places and strategies to meet people if they indeed do it, they can pull it off casually and politely, put people at ease and not make them enter fight-or-flight Most importantly: they have no need to chat up strangers on the street when they have well deve…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/04/21 08:52 AM
3	Are attractive guys actually less creepy? creepy is about how you act and not how you look Still, everything else being the same, attractive people get more opportunities for socializing (they get approached more, smiled at more, their presence acknowledged more...) which over a long timespan gives them more practice in reading social cues, nonverbal communication etc. This leads to more success in social settings which in turn makes them even more likely to participate in social events as it brings them enjoyment and validation. This a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/04/21 10:41 PM
1	What advantages is your sex believed to have that you feel is of no benefit to you? Yes, when the high sex drive is already there, it makes sense to try satisfy it. But it's unclear to me why would someone want to have a high sex drive. It's not like you can't enjoy sex without having a constant urge to do it. You can compare it to drug use. It's better not to be addicted to drugs in the first place than to have a drug addiction even if you have the means to easily satisfy it. Except if you're making an argument that high sex drive makes sex more enjoyable. (Which I disagree wi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/04/21 09:32 PM
1	Men's difficulty in dating benefits them in the long run Yes, by staying out of bad relationships they get the opportunity to focus on themselves, improve and grow, but it takes a lot of maturity to pursue such kind of life for 10 years or more. More often than not they get lonely and depressed which arguably puts them in an even worse position than a bad relationship ever could. Then they will settle for someone anyway. The ideal scenario you outline in your post is possible, but it's a large gamble, and I'd argue that for the majority it won't turn …	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/03/21 08:08 PM
2	Men's difficulty in dating benefits them in the long run You're assuming every beta male will improve himself or turn into a quality man. Yes, it's just as likely the guy will fall into depression from sexlessness, not live up to his potential, and then settle anyway 15 years later.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/03/21 07:57 PM
1	CMV: This sub is full of people mistakenly universalizing their specific experiences Well, if most men they know are rapists or abusers, then yes, they probably will. A different question is whether they should. I never claimed that people should do that kind of inferences. As I elaborated in a comment below, I was just saying that we constantly extrapolate from our perception, consciously or subconsciously, because that's how we are evolutionary wired. As the above example demonstrates, this kind of inductive reasoning is often faulty and full of biases. I personally think we s…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/03/21 10:18 AM
2	CMV: This sub is full of people mistakenly universalizing their specific experiences Absolutely, I wasn't trying to deny that their conclusions are flawed. My point was that they aren't any more flawed than 99% of our day-to-day inferences about the world around us we consciously or subconsciously extrapolate from our very limited perception. Humans are wired for pattern recognition. The idea is not to treat every situation and problem ad hoc but to classify and group them together under particular labels and find more general methods to solve them. This not only saves brain com…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/03/21 01:14 AM
3	CMV: This sub is full of people mistakenly universalizing their specific experiences It's inferential statistics. From observing a distribution of a property x in a small sample of women, they conclude how the property is distributed in all women. “because I have observed many women to behave like this, I know a categorical truth about all women.” Not a categorical truth about all women, more like a heuristic. They realize that the majority of the women they know have property x and by inductive reasoning they conclude that most women have property x. When they meet the next wom…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/03/21 10:36 PM
2	Q4M: Would you have sex with an escort that someone else paid for? I was envisioning a different scenario: you do a favour for some kind of a crime/mob boss and in return he sets you up with escorts, gives you drugs and such. I believe this kind of thing was a plot point in one of Stieg Larsson's novels, however it turned out that the girls were trafficked.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/03/21 05:34 PM
1	Dithylhexyl Pthalate as cause for lack of female desire? It's supposed to be "Diethylhexyl phthalate", a diester of phthalic acid and 2-ethylhexanol.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/03/21 01:37 AM
3	How much would having regular sex solve your problems? That's why I think that if you're 100% guaranteed to have sex with zero effort on your part, the arrangement shouldn't happen more often than say once a month. It is just there to establish a kind of baseline and to release naturally accumulated sexual tension. Also if it is relatively rare, you will have something to look forward to and maybe appreciate it more. It shouldn't be used as validation, stress relief, substitution for other forms of social interaction, or as any kind of excuse to sto…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/03/21 01:17 AM
1	Saying "Men aren't getting the sex they want" is a form entitlement. Too many lonely guys are picky beggars. The two situations aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. A man can have unrealistically high standards and hence have no success and be unhappy, leading him to operatively adopt low standards and fuck everything in sight in an attempt to at least partially fulfil his desires.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/03/21 11:56 PM
1	Attraction isn't simple and the reason why many people struggle with dating I think it's always been this way. Of course, being physically attractive is going to draw attention, but that does not necessarily translate to people actually being attracted to a person outside of pure feelings of infatuation of course. Yes, I think this is the issue you are pointing at. Even if you check all the boxes, there is still a significant element of chance (variables not only beyond our control but also beyond our perception) to whether attraction will occur. You also obviously have…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/21 12:21 AM
16	Unattractive nerds should try to hit on intelligent women I think the idea is that popular (or rather, average) girls would be more easily impressed by his intelligence and hence find him interesting. On the other hand, intelligent girls tend to be surrounded by lots of intelligent people (e.g. in universities) so this particular guy wouldn't stand out in any way.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/21 02:51 PM
4	Why is the "move on" advice given all the time, no matter how small the circumstance? Also it depends how one interprets "move on". To use your job analogy, it can mean Quit the job immediately. Keep the job, but in the meantime look for other job offers. After a while you can assess whether the conditions on your current job have improved, and if not what's your best option to switch. Also getting new offers can reduce your emotional investment in the current person which makes the eventual transition much easier. It often takes minimal effort to maintain contact with the curren…	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/21 12:02 AM
5	Would women consider a man with a low N-Count more desirable? Asses individuality. I agree, every particular ass has its specifics.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/03/21 01:57 AM
1	Men say they love sex because it’s “proof” of women desiring them. Here’s why they are lying to themselves. So, like an Aziz Ansari kind of date Yes, exactly. I bet he was thinking that what he was doing was perfectly legit at the time, that it's just seduction or whatever... No. She's avoiding violence. Of course, or she was uncomfortable with outright rejecting him due to how she was raised and he wouldn't take a hint, or something. However, my point is that some men don't see it that way. In their eyes they gamed the girl fair and square, she "consented" to sex and "didn't have to", hence she obvio…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/03/21 10:55 AM
1	If you're pro-choice due to bodily autonomy, you can't demand paternal child-support, or object to child neglect What I'm hoping to draw out in this post through exposing the cognitive dissonance of the "my body, my choice" argument is the understanding that women and men are obligated to sacrifice biological resources for their children as part of the social contract all members of a society which prioritizes collective welfare opt into for social security unto themselves. There is a way to remove cognitive dissonance: acknowledge that unborns are simply not a part of this contract. Hence women can abort …	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/21 02:13 PM
1	If you're pro-choice due to bodily autonomy, you can't demand paternal child-support, or object to child neglect Exactly, and if one or both parties want the kid and accept parental responsibility, then they are basically signing an implicit contract with the state and society that the child won't be neglected. So this counters OP's claim that bodily autonomy automatically implies you can't object to child neglect. No, if you accept the child you also accept responsibility but both parties should be able to opt out at the beginning.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/21 01:45 PM
1	Men say they love sex because it’s “proof” of women desiring them. Here’s why they are lying to themselves. It is. For example getting a girl drunk and then driving her to your place to crash because it's close etc etc, it's a slippery slope. Point being, you surely experienced people thinking and acting in this way. I claim that some people do it with a hidden agenda so that sex "just happens" and then use it as a basis for furthering the attraction and supposedly igniting desire.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/21 03:18 AM
1	Why "rp is just a toolbox" seems to fails to defeat any moralizing argument. Ayn Rand's objectivist ethics considers a teleological morality whose sole purpose is to preserve life of a human being as a rational agent and pursue individual happiness. As I understand, this entails performing value transactions according to principles such as rationality and transparency, and does not consider manipulatory behaviour as productive towards this goal. OP is probably confused and thinks you are an objectivist because of your username lol.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/21 02:20 AM
0	Men say they love sex because it’s “proof” of women desiring them. Here’s why they are lying to themselves. Not saying that the strategy is rational or effective, but yes. Say a woman doesn't desire a guy at first sight. Then his first line of thought is fair enough, she doesn't even know me, if she gets to know me better perhaps she will desire me then. So he starts talking to her, maybe even going on dates with her, but still doesn't feel her desire. The next "logical" step is to say fair enough, if we take it a step further and have sex perhaps she will change her mind. Also along the way there can…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/21 01:22 AM
1	Men say they love sex because it’s “proof” of women desiring them. Here’s why they are lying to themselves. I somewhat agree with your general idea but there are flaws in your arguments. Sex doesn’t mean someone desires you. True, but one can argue that the converse implication is true: if a woman desires you, she will (want to) have sex with you. In the language of logic, having sex can be thought of as a necessary (but not sufficient) condition for having desire. So it makes sense to want to obtain sex (especially as it has other benefits such as being pleasurable). Furthermore, and more importantly…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/03/21 11:26 PM
2	There's more male virgins than female virgins, but there's also more male sluts than female sluts. Men are the gender of extremes. Precisely, that's what first came to mind when I read the post. From what I've understood, traits which measure success or predisposition to success such as wealth, income, IQ, sexual prowess, conscientiousness and many others follow a normal distribution in both males and females. The difference is that the male distribution has larger variance, meaning more males in average deviate from the mean in either direction. This is obviously a very simplified model, but…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/21 11:18 PM
1	CMV: love is not a vending machine Exactly, I don't know why people keep telling you Women can have sex without emotional connection. as a counterargument to the claim that when women do try to buy love with sex it is usually not effective. We can make a meme: https://imgflip.com/i/4ys0g0	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/02/21 11:41 AM
3	CMV: love is not a vending machine I don't think OP is arguing agains this. They say: Men try to buy love with gifts, attention and labor. implying if Larry the Cable Guy started to do favours for Mary and buy her gifts without changing his stats, it wouldn't matter to her at all. On the other hand, there are certain kind of actions he can do to perhaps win over Mary, for example those which display his confidence and increase social skills. But these increase his stats, while simping for Mary is useless.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/02/21 11:33 AM
1	If there’s any hesitation from your date, he’s/she’s just not that into you and you should eject immediately If your date hem and haws, plays games, leaves you hanging, refuses to make his or her intentions clear — reject them immediately. Or keep an open mind and simply go with the flow. It can still end up as casual sex or a FWB situation or simply friendship. You shouldn't be too emotionally invested at this point anyway so it takes very little energy to maintain some contact and you gain almost nothing by burning bridges, especially if done tactlessly. If you are looking strictly for a serious LTR …	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/02/21 02:40 AM
2	CMV - I think a lot of women's issues with dating could be solved by waiting, or abstaining from sex. I agree. The situation described by OP can simply be explained by the fact that women desire to have sex at regular intervals. When that happens, the natural thing is to sleep with the guy who she's currently seeing and the wait is over.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/02/21 01:56 AM
1	CMV: Men need to embrace “toxic masculinity” if they wish to be successful in life. ... you can’t call yourself virtuous without having the capacity to do evil. This is the point. You embody masculinity if you have the capacity to do evil but choose not to. Embrace masculine traits such as assertiveness, leadership, strength and independence. At the same time develop empathy and get to know your emotions. This, along with rationality, enables you to competently decide to what end you want to use your masculine traits. Otherwise you become just a blunt instrument being easily co…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/02/21 01:28 AM
2	The rise of neets They are. Especially to people who lack some kind of meaningful activity their brain's dopamine reward system could naturally latch onto. A simple effective loop would be: make an effort -> get some results -> brain rewards you -> get motivated to improve even more -> make an effort -> ... An example would be a fulfilling career or even an enjoyable hobby you are invested in. Even better when the activity comes with an appreciative and supportive social circle. That's why I think that neets are …	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/02/21 05:47 PM
4	The rise of neets Indeed, there is an amusing comic on the topic with a very sobering conclusion: https://www.stuartmcmillen.com/comic/rat-park/ Even if it weren't so, we cannot equate a drug-induced bliss with the stay-at-home every-day-is-the-same existence neets are entangled in. It sounds less like a choice and more like economical and social circumstances made it difficult for them to find a job and be more proactive. Add perhaps some anxiety issues and suddenly staying at home with some state allowance beco…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/02/21 03:50 PM
3	If men want more opportunities for sex, why don’t they put the same amount of effort into grooming, self care and “glowing up” as most women do? An argument could be made that taking more drastic measures such as cosmetic surgery or even working very hard at the gym means actively coming to terms with the fact that your current level of attractiveness is insufficient for your sexual goals and that you need to work on it. As society often validates men on the basis of how sexually successful they are, this realization could be a difficult step for many men. For the same reasons, visibly working very hard on self-improvement (looks in part…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/02/21 03:06 AM
1	It's pointless to give women advice on how to attract men because what women really need to learn is how to repel low quality men Yes, as OP says It's the pyramid situation where each woman attracts everything below her level. ... but the reality is that men are constantly trying to date up ... The implied narrative seems to be that any particular man will try to seriously date women of value higher or equal to him, while the women below his level will only be considered for casual sex. Said differently, any particular woman will attract all men across the entire value hierarchy, but only those of lower or equal value to h…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/02/21 07:42 PM
44	How do men want women to behave? I agree with this. A woman should be virgin or low n-count but you don't want to wait for sex, There are lots of stories where a woman makes a man wait for sex and take things slow, when in the recent past she hooked up with a lot of men relatively quickly. I believe many men would be perfectly fine with waiting for sex and getting to know a woman in a potential LTR situation (for casual sex the low n-count criterion doesn't apply anyway) under the assumption that's how that particular woman ope…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/02/21 12:23 AM
2	Vetting is overrated I didn't say anything about morality. I'm talking about the practical reality. Most people are pragmatic about their relationships. They date those they are surrounded by and who they click with. It's natural and organic. One could then argue that even dating apps break the natural and organic nature of relationships. Another example is you applying for a job at Google and them looking at your entire search history right down to the kind of porn you are jerking off to. One can't deny your search…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/02/21 05:54 PM
1	Vetting is overrated You seem to imply here that vetting, being robotic and unemotional, is in some sense not even morally acceptable and that it contradicts the emotional nature of relationships. On the other hand, in your original post and elsewhere in the thread you criticize the efficiency/efficacy of vetting, claiming that certain important qualities such as sexual and emotional compatibility cannot be extracted from circumstantial information available through vetting anyway. So what argument exactly are you m…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/02/21 05:01 PM
2	If there's more to life than sex and intimacy, why am I unsatisfied pursuing it? If I may chime in, I think the problem is that you are trying to find an external higher purpose. External as being defined by society, religion, other people in your surroundings and so on. I propose that you instead adopt the existentialist mindset: nothing objectively matters and life has no objective higher purpose. If you omit the italicized words, you would get nihilism, as you say. However, the existentialist idea is that you yourself should define what matters to you. Do not try to find …	/r/askTRP	16/02/21 06:49 AM
3	If the problem with no sex (or not enough sex) isn't solely about sex, people need to make that very clear. For example, when people (typically men) say "Sex makes men feel loved, desired, validated, and wanted". Then why don't male virgins (and a certain I word) say "I wish someone would love me and make me feel special" instead of "I wish someone would have sex with me"? There could be several implicit assumptions in play. For example: A lot of men validate themselves through the sex they are or aren't having. Society often evaluates men on the basis of how sexually successful they are. Men can see …	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/02/21 08:49 PM
2	CMV: Most relationships are initiated/founded on covert contracts Oh, but they DO. People who are especially unaware/blue-pilled believe in "true/unconditional love." Any love that is conditional isn't referred to as real love, and loving people for what they do for you isn't referred to as real love, even if its tied to that. I know exactly what you are trying to say here and I agree, but you formulated it incorrectly. Blue-pilled people do believe in contracts (just different), even more so than some more aware people. A bit artificial example but suppose yo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/02/21 12:57 PM
6	CMV: Most relationships are initiated/founded on covert contracts From how people talk about relationships, you'd never think/know that they were conditional. I don't think that most people think/talk of relationships as unconditional, for example sexual exclusivity is a commonly expected condition. The very concept of a relationship (not only romantic) can be thought of as a set of rules and boundaries which define and predict behaviour of two people in relation to each other. In this sense whenever we talk about a relationship we imply that certain rules are…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/02/21 02:40 AM
1	Men and women are more similar than RP people often think, and more different than BP people often think. Well, you said it's a man's ideal outcome, which I disagree with - it's just one type of sexual strategy that some men enjoy. Other men prefer to go the monogamous intimate relationship route. Not to be misunderstood, I absolutely agree. I defined a male to be polygamous if his ideal outcome is to have a lot of partners (above a certain value). I don't think that all or even most men are like that. As to the evidence, the usual argument appeals to evolutionary psychology (lots of sperm compete f…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/02/21 01:25 AM
1	Men and women are more similar than RP people often think, and more different than BP people often think. Not sure if you are serious but anyway, this could be a downgraded goal from trying to find the highest possible value man if the woman realizes she can't have both the provider and the attractive man as one person. So she is financially or socially forced to settle with a more stable but less attractive man and pursues her hypergamous desires through casual sex. The fact that these side guys are all different is not directly implied by hypergamy as I defined it, this could be a purely practical…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/02/21 01:06 AM
1	Men and women are more similar than RP people often think, and more different than BP people often think. That's one type of sexual strategy a man can undertake. Another kind, is getting into a long-term relationship with a single woman and starting a family with her. Most of my male friends prefer having an exclusive girlfriend over having sex with multiple women. I was only attempting to define the concept of male polygamy, I wasn't claiming all men are like that. The degree of polygamy of any particular male is purely individual, as you say. Same with female hypergamy. It's just that the two phen…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/02/21 12:35 AM
5	Men and women are more similar than RP people often think, and more different than BP people often think. The two definitions aren't entirely unrelated. One can also formulate female hypergamy like this: a woman's ideal outcome is having a highest possible value partner. Notice that this formulation more-less implies the other two. Namely, it implies she wants a partner above her (unless she considers herself "better" than the entire male population available to her), and that she will have a tendency to branch swing to a higher value man. Compare with this formulation of male polygamy: a man's idea…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/02/21 06:34 PM
2	Is LooksMaxing a dead end for Men ? I agree. Being perceived as not actively working on your looks is a form of social signaling. The idea is that only the most good looking/high value men could get away with not caring about their looks and still be socially and sexually successful. The same with general self improvement. This argument also implies that visibly working on yourself can ironically project insecurity, low self-esteem and even low value. To circumvent this, it has to be done discreetly.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/02/21 12:27 AM
0	Hold up...isnt EVERYONE Hypergamous? Yes, but in the context of TRP the ideal outcome for men is to have sex with a lot of women which are of sufficiently high quality, while the ideal outcome for women is to have sex with the man of absolutely highest quality. This is male polygamy vs. female hypergamy. Think of why would a someone want a new partner: a woman would want to find a better man, while a man would simply want to find a new woman.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/02/21 02:06 PM
4	Can women be truly satisfied if they marry a somewhat physically attractive man? I think the idea is that going up floors represents opportunity cost in time invested in long term relationships, accumulating emotional baggage, increasing n-count and what not. Plus, the narrative of the thread is that once she visited a floor, she is unlikely to ever be fully satisfied with anything less so it doesn't make sense for her to want to return to a lower floor.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/02/21 01:47 PM
13	Lurker Callout Thread 25M single Purple pill, slowly transitioning from blue to red which parallels a larger transition of mine from an idealized, religiously moralizing and absolutistic worldview to an existentialist relativist view of things with cynical nihilistic tendencies at times (compare with black pill). Favourite thing about PPD is hearing a plethora of different opinions about sexuality related topics with arguments driven by statistical analyses, anecdotal stories and philosophical/political doctrines ali…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/02/21 12:02 AM