matthedev Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
19	The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a Partner	Debate	matthedev	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/03/26 05:48 PM
0	On Systemizing the Debate of x Pill Topics	Discussion	matthedev	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/01/26 07:00 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Many women have been socially programmed to be self-centered and narcissistic. If someone comes across as entitled and self-centered on the first date, that's a good reason not to have a second date. Same with uninteresting conversation. This isn't gender specific.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/07/26 09:17 PM
2	Alot of guys dont have friends and that really hurts their dating life. You have again misread what I wrote. I prefer to date women who are more active, so I spend time with them doing activities I don't do with my friends or do less often with friends. That is, I prefer a woman who wants to do things out of the house most weekends over staying in and embracing the "cozy life."	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/07/26 06:52 PM
4	Alot of guys dont have friends and that really hurts their dating life. Interacting with a woman who may become a romantic prospect is qualitatively different from my interactions with friends, and this continues into the relationship. For one thing, there is an immediate difference when the woman is attracted to me. You seem to be closer to demisexual or even closer to asexual, so that initial spark of physical attraction may not be a thing for you. For another, most of my friends are more introverted and homebodyish, and those are not traits I look for in a romant…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/07/26 03:31 PM
1	Dating experiments prove men are picky and not as desperate like they claim to be. Are you thick? You're rolling right past what I wrote. Your posts seem to be rooted in a desire to change how men behave, but probably none of the men on this subreddit know you in real life. You have a trifecta of things that most men would find off-putting: Your personality would be highly unappealing to most men. I don't know what you look like, but it's quite probable you're below average in physical appearance. You apparently believe in waiting for an extended period (measured in months) to…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/07/26 01:41 PM
1	Dating experiments prove men are picky and not as desperate like they claim to be. Also, you just destroyed your whole point about location. Offline is better than online dating apps, which implies being in a location more conducive to meeting women offline. Probably the places that are better for offline dating are also better for online dating because of a higher density of singles, but even if the apps didn't totally suck, I still prefer getting to a date in person as quickly as possible. Texting with someone I've already met is one thing, but I really need to meet the woma…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/07/26 12:06 AM
1	Dating experiments prove men are picky and not as desperate like they claim to be. If you’re going to use location as an excuse, how is dating off-line going to help you anyway? If the rule of thumb is the quality of women on online dating apps is lower on average than offline, then offline is better, even if the dating pool is still small. Also, offline, it is possible to have a positive interaction with them whereas, on the dating apps, it is not. Odds in the wrong location may still be small, but something beats nothing. hing is guys who are doing wrong will always claim th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/07/26 07:11 PM
1	Dating experiments prove men are picky and not as desperate like they claim to be. There are so many factors that can affect a man's experience with the online dating apps. Sometimes there's nothing the man is doing "wrong" other than being in a location with a small, low-quality dating pool, or they may currently live in an area that's a mismatch for their personality and lifestyle. Women sometimes approach me, including a minor celebrity one time, so I must be physically attractive enough for women to want to talk to me. With the online dating apps though, I get, on average,…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/07/26 03:18 PM
2	How do you define a female friend? For a lot of men, the women who share that level of intimate detail about their lives are the women they've slept with, pretty much always. The women who are less close friends or acquaintances in some larger group don't usually share that level of personal detail about their lives or at least not very often. Since you eventually transitioned, maybe you presented differently than most men.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 11:28 PM
2	A lot of liberal women struggle in dating because what they're truly attracted to and what they say they want are usually contradictory. You must be referring to the Democratic Socialists of America (DSA), which I am not a member of nor interested in becoming a member of as they are significantly to the left of my views. Going by the Wikipedia articles on the DSA, its National Political Committee divides into separate caucuses, I count at least eleven members among the hard left, the communists, which would be about 40% of their leadership committee, more if you include other factions that want to eventually abolish capitalism by…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/26 05:25 PM
8	A man without female friends is a red flag In many environments, men, especially socially awkward men, are way more common than women. I've worked as a software engineer for my whole career so far; it tends to be an extremely male occupation. Back when I was in college at least, computer science courses were also overwhelmingly male, too. Then, when we go out to make new friends, a lot of the meetup groups tend to be hypersaturated with men, too, especially slightly awkward men. Slightly awkward dudes are just the underlying matrix that …	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/07/26 02:11 PM
1	There’s no point in women freely give away sexual attention when men dont appreciate it. Him turning into an ex may have had something to do with opening each morning with a gender tirade.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/07/26 08:11 PM
3	If below average men were given experience they would even themselves out. Being in a relationship is different from flirting with a stranger and getting a date, but for sure, a year of relationship experience beats no experience.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/07/26 08:09 PM
2	A lot of liberal women struggle in dating because what they're truly attracted to and what they say they want are usually contradictory. Yes, I'm in a mid-sized city in the Midwest, and whether you're in the city proper, the suburbs, or the far-flung exurbs, attractive women are pretty rare around here. The city proper and inner-ring suburbs tend to vote Democratic, and as you get into the further-out suburbs and into the exurbs, voters tend to go Republican. I think halfway attractive women have a stronger tendency to flee this place than do the men. Yes, the women in cities like New York and Chicago tend to be way more attracti…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/07/26 12:32 PM
2	Social media encourages self-indulgent self-pity and that is why so many guys fail to blossom Who says I like Dungeons and Dragons? Last time I was invited to play, I was told I could use my imagination, so I did. Turns out there are still rules, loosely, as interpreted by the game's dungeon master. My livening things up was their distracting from the quest 🤷 Happiness is escaping the "nerd trap" or "nerd hell," at least for me. I'm fine having super-nerdy interests like historical linguistics, but that doesn't mean I want to spend all my Friday and Saturday nights playing D&D, Magic: Th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/07/26 12:10 PM
1	It’s not that women having inflated egos. It’s just a lot of guys underestimate a woman’s worth in the dating market. Online dating apps and social media have definitely skewed things in the past decade or so. I've heard a woman with a face tattoo, a collection of psychiatric disorders, and innumerable pets derogate all the "fish guys" on the dating apps as beneath her. I've heard significantly obese women talk about getting lots of dates from the swipe apps. These are women I think most men would consider less conventionally attractive. Obesity is the attraction killer. I've visited cities where obesity is muc…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/07/26 01:44 AM
5	A lot of liberal women struggle in dating because what they're truly attracted to and what they say they want are usually contradictory. There's a confounding variable: conformity (expressed or believed) to one's social environment. People who put in more effort to have the more socially desirable political opinions for their social environment may also put more care into their physical appearance. In the Midwest or the South, the more attractive women might wear cowboy boots and cross necklaces (which presumably correlate with more conservative politics), and the more progressive-leaning women are often going to be the ones with…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/07/26 12:44 AM
4	If you dont like women, don’t date them. Mainly, it's that I'm currently living in a city without the single women in the first place, so without the people, there's not as much approaching or me desiring to approach when there's no one around to approach. Not literally no one, just not many because people tend to marry young. One of the reasons I'm looking to move. Maybe it's that all your women friends are more introverted; most of the women who make a bolder approach seem to be more extraverted. Maybe they approach men when their fr…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/07/26 01:57 AM
2	It’s unrealistic to expect men to find romance by just “living their lives.” I found, when I lived in a big city with lots of single professionals around, women approaching or signaling interest would just happen. It so happened that I was in a long-term relationship too back then, so I didn't pursue any of those situations. I live in a smaller city now; it's still a metropolitan area of almost 3 million people; but the demographics and culture are more oriented towards marrying young and starting a family than for single professionals. It's a car culture, so there are n…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/07/26 04:18 PM
1	Unsuccessful men on the dating regard should just accept it and continue with their lives Most men have a strong biological drive to seek out a partner. There's no corresponding drive to sit in an office in front of a computer screen to look at computer code or spreadsheets. Work is more a means to an end for most people: basic survival and then higher-level goals like attracting a partner. People who are closer to asexual may find more satisfaction from video games and anime, though 🤷	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/07/26 04:10 PM
7	If you dont like women, don’t date them. You're more likely to have lackluster to bad experiences with men because, if your posts here are any indication, you have a personality that would be unappealing to most men; certainly it's unappealing to me. There are plenty of women whose behavior towards men they're attracted to is more like the stereotype of men. A lot of men are going to prefer these women, or at least these women put themselves out there, which will make men more likely to interact with them.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/07/26 04:00 PM
2	Dating would be alot easier for men when they notice who they’re trying to meet and where to find them. No, I mean you don't understand men as in their underlying motivations, drives, fears, desires, and preferences; so the ways you try to describe male behavior don't make much sense to men, and your proposals for men also make no sense.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/07/26 12:39 PM
2	Dating would be alot easier for men when they notice who they’re trying to meet and where to find them. The Match Group owns both Hinge and Tinder, but online at least, it sounded like everyone had migrated to Hinge. I think some of it is location dependent; around here, the quality on Tinder is the lowest among the major online dating apps. Personally, I don't get much out of chatting into a message box with someone I've never met, which would probably lead to "dry" conversations. So I prefer to take things offline as quickly as possible or just meet people offline instead. Regardless of your che…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/07/26 01:56 AM
2	Social media encourages self-indulgent self-pity and that is why so many guys fail to blossom I mean you might have a broader autistic phenotype, even if you were below the diagnostic threshold for an autism spectrum disorder. I was in my twenties in the mid-2000s into the 2010s, and I'm on the autism spectrum. I assumed most people found night clubs odious, but it was some kind of ritual people had to go through to meet people of the opposite sex (working as a software engineer, I met almost exclusively other men in my day-to-day life). In groups, other men would suggest going dancing, …	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/07/26 05:47 PM
3	Social media encourages self-indulgent self-pity and that is why so many guys fail to blossom When "dweebs" go to bars or pubs, it's usually the quieter kind where they can play board games together over pints of beer. Many "dweebs" are going to be on the autism spectrum, and many people on the autism spectrum would struggle a lot with the sensory bombardment of a typical night club, the coordination to dance, and the reading of nonverbal social cues (since all the music and noise make conversation almost impossible). Also, a lot of men are looking for actual long-term relationships, not…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/07/26 03:09 PM
1	Men are more ethical, we don't sell our bodies Manual labor can be considered selling your body; knowledge work can be considered selling your mind.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/07/26 02:42 PM
–	Men are more shallow than women and you know it That seems like a minor complaint. The great thing about confidence is a person can be r/confidentlyincorrect, to use a Redditism. You can act or behave confidently, no matter how you feel on the inside. So the appearance of self-confidence is a mutable characteristic rather than what is, for all practical purposes, an immutable characteristic like height or skin color. People feel confident, not because they're the best or always have the answer, but because they believe they can figure things …	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/07/26 01:13 AM
1	Media couldn’t have lied to you if you can’t name the media that you consumed. So you're telling me guys who grew up playing Super Mario Bros. believe they have to fight through levels of Goombas and Koopa Troopas and face down Bowser, only to discover, "The Princess is another castle"?	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/07/26 01:16 AM
–	Women discard what men say they like in women, then turn around and tell men what they like in women. No idea. I don't browse either of them.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/07/26 09:48 PM
–	Women discard what men say they like in women, then turn around and tell men what they like in women. I normally wouldn't encourage anyone to lie, but if most women on the online dating apps are filtering out any man below 6′0″ automatically but the man is within an inch or two of that, it makes sense for him to bump his height up to 6′0″. You being 5′11″ and potentially actually taller than him is an edge case.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/07/26 09:32 PM
–	Women discard what men say they like in women, then turn around and tell men what they like in women. Weird	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/07/26 09:21 PM
2	Would you date someone you met in person who didn’t match with you on a dating app? I've definitely seen some women checking me out offline I could've sworn I'd seen before on the online dating apps even though we'd never matched. It may be coincidence; the likes got put behind the paywall; or they'd never even seen my profile, and since they're single, they're actively checking out men offline too. Offline obviously takes precedence over online as there's no intermediary with a profit motive getting in between.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/07/26 09:20 PM
–	Women discard what men say they like in women, then turn around and tell men what they like in women. Realistically, it can work the same way with the genders flipped. It can feel a little weird if a woman is particularly short as a man, where you might be looking over her head completely without stooping down.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/07/26 06:42 PM
–	Women discard what men say they like in women, then turn around and tell men what they like in women. The 6′0″ height thing is obviously just a simple filter women can use on online dating apps to winnow down an overwhelming number of matches. Offline, not many women are going to be able to tell the difference between 5′11″ and 6′0″. Offline, women will probably gravitate towards the man who's fit, relaxed, confident, and gregarious but only 5′10″ over the guy who's 6′4″ but stiff, wooden, socially awkward, and dressed like a stereotypical nerd. The subreddit r/twoxchromosome may also not be rep…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/07/26 05:06 PM
2	Going Out Alone as a Guy in a New City Is Brutal This kind of sounds like St. Louis, Missouri, but I'm sure there are many, many places where people mostly go out with their established friend groups. It's the men jealously guarding "their" women that really sounds like a St. Louis dynamic I haven't noticed as much elsewhere, but again, I'm sure there are plenty of other places like that too. I think cities with more transplants and travelers are more open to men enjoying nightlife solo. Hotel bars are used to solo business travelers, but that…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/07/26 03:47 PM
1	"Covenant Men" idea to solve the dating crisis... not that people would sign on, but it would work A neo cortex insurgency is your logical brain and common sense overriding your hormones. It's a higher order being thing. I get that, but the phrasing was odd. It brings to mind little green men bursting out of someone's forehead. es, but demisexual tactics and demisexual orientation are not the same thing. I thought that was clear in what I said. It's like someone living like an introvert when they're not an introvert. Sure, they might be able to pull it off for a while, but it's a straight sho…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/06/26 04:56 PM
–	What are red flags in men that women commonly miss? It isn't a dealbreaker, just a red flag. It causes me to look for other behaviors to see if there is a concerning explanation for the lack of friends across genders. So more a yellow flag then. But it still seems plenty possible to make friends of both genders. Maybe it "seems" like it, but in practice, there are usually just way more dudes floating around in the spaces designed for meeting new people. It's not that I don't have acquaintances who are women; it's that I don't have close friends w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/06/26 04:48 PM
1	What are red flags in men that women commonly miss? Only has friends of one gender. This goes for women and men. If a person only has friends of one gender, that suggests they may have issues interacting with the other gender, and that is a red flag. You do realize many men are moving in spaces that just happen to be overwhelmingly male, right? I studied computer science back in college and then have spent the last two decades or so working as a software engineer; these are very male-saturated spaces. Spaces geared towards meeting new people also…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/06/26 03:14 PM
4	Question for men: How many women did you approach in 2026? I'm in my early forties, single, never married with no kids. It depends on how you define approach because I just talk to talk, not going in guns a'blazin' with full intent to date or nothing. This is better: no attachment to outcomes. I just roll with the conversation. If she's into me and I'm attracted to her, I'll push the conversation in that direction; if not, I'll keep it polite or wrap up the conversation if she seems disinterested, bored, or busy. That said, it's been about a handful of …	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/06/26 02:42 PM
1	"Covenant Men" idea to solve the dating crisis... not that people would sign on, but it would work Demisexual tactics work for men who can walk that route, though. Demisexuality isn't a tactic, though; it's an orientation in between allosexuality and full-on asexuality. I propose that initial attraction should be put aside in favor of strict vetting. So vetting partners is fine, but physical attraction isn't really something to "be put aside," at least for people who haven't had "a serious neo cortex insurgency," whatever that might be. I'd rather just do the things to attract partners I am i…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/06/26 03:03 PM
–	A woman's "bare minimum" is never just the bare minimum If it does, then we figure out if this issue is more important to us than our marriage. It's not just about compromise. It's about values. Values are great, but the point I'm getting at is, especially over time, the likelihood of some kind of disagreement in the area of values goes up, or rather, your values aren't much different, but because of a slightly different prioritization of your values or slightly different assumptions, you and a future partner reach different conclusions. What happens…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/06/26 02:31 PM
1	"Covenant Men" idea to solve the dating crisis... not that people would sign on, but it would work I wouldn't think a Halo Meetup group would have too many women, and usually, yes, the gender skew is at least two to three dudes for every woman at a Meetup event. Were there any women at all, and did you even stop to get a sense of their personality or moral character? Some might assume there's some kind of kharmic balancing act, that they get a larger helping of "personality," but instead, obesity correlates with low conscientiousness and high neuroticism (low emotional stability). While I mad…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/06/26 12:16 AM
1	"Covenant Men" idea to solve the dating crisis... not that people would sign on, but it would work Yes, most Meetups really are packing in the sausage, but in keeping with your second point, most of the women at the Meetups aren't the kind of women men are falling all over themselves to meet up with either. I've been to several Meetup events where every last woman in attendance was morbidly obese. I don't support your "covenant man" ideology, but Meetup closely aligns. Personally, I think Meetup and similar social-, hobby-, and interest-oriented services are built on a few foundational lies. …	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/06/26 11:10 PM
1	"Covenant Men" idea to solve the dating crisis... not that people would sign on, but it would work This is a very long way of saying, "Attend Meetups."	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/06/26 10:27 PM
1	A woman's "bare minimum" is never just the bare minimum To add, what does it matter if I'm obnoxious? I would think most people wouldn't want their life partner to be someone they find obnoxious. Let's say someone due to their environment they grew up in does not believe in gay marriage rights. Okay. But hey let's have perspective! Well eventually if we have kid, what values will I allow a man to teach my child? Would I be okay with a man that says that he things LGBTQ+ people can't get legally married? When I was a kid, support for gay marriage wasn…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/06/26 06:05 PM
1	A woman's "bare minimum" is never just the bare minimum I...grew up Catholic. So if you were raised Catholic, you should be able to understand why people might be opposed to abortion besides "not believ[ing] [you] own [your] own body." If someone believes something is murder, they're obviously going to be opposed to it. I'm not saying I agree with the Catholic Church's teaching on abortion, but I'm saying I understand their perspective on the matter. I have my values. Why wouldn't I only have relationships with men that share them? Who's to say a new…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/06/26 05:17 PM
-1	A woman's "bare minimum" is never just the bare minimum It's not specifically about you but about the attitude you exemplify that permeates Reddit: Rage and vindictiveness against the people they believe are their political opponents Binary thinking Strawman beliefs about people who prioritize their values a little vit differently These tendencies show lack of critical thinking and perspective taking. I'd imagine such people who grew up fifty years ago or in a different cultural environment would adopt that group's beliefs and values just as militant…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/06/26 03:44 PM
-5	A woman's "bare minimum" is never just the bare minimum I'm fairly liberal, but I'd never want to date a woman like you. I value things like critical thinking and perspective taking in a partner.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/06/26 05:01 PM
1	How many would you say there are genuinely good guys It depends on what you mean by "genuinely good." I don't make it a habit of hanging out with shitty people, so that may skew my impressions. On Reddit, a lot of people assume "good" means agreement, and they're not trying to understand the actual reasons why people might support an opposing view. Trying to play devil's advocate or imagine and attempt to rebut steelmanned versions of opposing arguments would help those people a lot. Most people are a mix but, on the whole, lean good. Fewer are se…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/06/26 07:31 PM
1	What a coincidence that all the “average women” the redpill complains about appeal to the male gaze and male ego. Obesity is a medical condition; it is not a normal, healthy state of the human body. It is also not evenly distributed across the genders. Many men can report attending meetups where the men's weight and body shape range the gamut from fit and athletic to husky while all the women in attendance are morbidly obese. The obesity rate within the United States is vastly different from place to place. Try walking around Manhattan, Nashville, or San Diego and compare it to Rust Belt cities in Middle Am…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/06/26 01:43 PM
4	What a coincidence that all the “average women” the redpill complains about appeal to the male gaze and male ego. How doesn't it change the average? The average woman in Paris, France, is not the average woman in St. Louis, Missouri. I hardly saw any obese people in France, and the few I did see were mostly tourists, and despite Paris's reputation, I found these gorgeous women were friendly and go out of their to help me without even asking. I can't say the same for the people back home in St. Louis. Paris is just one example, but I'm sure there are plenty of other places in Middle America not so different …	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/06/26 08:02 PM
4	What a coincidence that all the “average women” the redpill complains about appeal to the male gaze and male ego. If you go to places that haven't been decimated by the obesity epidemic, "average" looks very different than in much of Middle America. I don't know what you look like, but your personality would definitely have me never dating you.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/06/26 06:28 PM
1	There are no free good men You forget about late bloomers in places where people marry young, leaving behind a small and picked-over dating pool.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/06/26 03:49 PM
3	The Scum manifesto has some good points… You said there were good points in your post's title, but I only saw bad, just a man-hating femcel screed. The only value I can see is, the sooner I find out someone thinks this way, the sooner I can "unselect" her, in this subreddit's jargon.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/06/26 03:33 PM
–	Why obsess over women with terrible boyfriends? [ Removed by Reddit ]	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/06/26 12:45 AM
2	Does anyone care that dating is better now for women? It would be wonderful if dating were better for everyone: women, men, straight, gay, bi, religious, atheist, everyone. With online dating and social media, women have more options these days than in decades past, but in some cases, I think it's gone to their heads. Women who are average at best or even markedly below average see lots of matches every time they open the swipe apps or men "sliding in to the DMs." They don't seem to realize or fully appreciate that they're getting guys who'll swipe…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/06/26 08:26 PM
1	Men pretend theyre not as picky as women. Even the “desperate ones” are picky. I'm in my forties, so older than most people on this subreddit, I assume, so I've seen obesity rates soar from my childhood to now. Where I live now, it looks like there was a large bump after the pandemic to the point where morbid obesity is pretty much the norm now in women; that isn't so everywhere; and it's one of the reasons I'm looking to move. Problem is obesity annihilates attraction, but then again, I'm not one of the men saying I'm not picky or don't have any standards. I keep an activ…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/06/26 04:48 PM
3	Are all men watching porn? Where are the decent men? What about romance comedies or Fifty Shaes of Grey? A restaurant in the area used old Reader's Digest books as decoration. Imagine erotic fan fiction of someone writing about polio-stricken FDR getting into the pool, where his manly strength would shine through. This is what the grannies and homemakers of the 1950s and '60s were reading, apparently. It's well known that, for men, attraction tends to be more visual and physical. It's a "fire," an intense drive, a driving force. But if you can't s…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/06/26 03:05 PM
1	Men need to learn from women how to actually fight a culture war if they want to win Most people have no desire whatsoever to fight in "culture wars." Why on Earth would they want to? A lot of us just want a good partner in our life whom we're attracted to. Something I've notice though is this: Trying died; attraction has been abolished. Since the pandemic, it seems like there's been almost a "phase transition." A lot of people just stopped putting in bare minimum effort in being attractive to their desired gender. I often go weeks at a time without seeing a woman I'm attracted …	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/06/26 04:31 PM
2	Men who are successful, high earners, or providers— I have a debatable question I'm not into cheating.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/06/26 06:46 PM
2	Men Shouldn't Apologize for priortizing beauty and refusing to settle for less Everyone's different, but I don't want to touch or be touched by a woman I find ugly. It doesn't work when disgust is felt instead of attraction. It might work that way for some guys, but for many of us, a baseline of attraction isn't optional.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/06/26 04:44 PM
1	Men Shouldn't Apologize for priortizing beauty and refusing to settle for less News to me.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/06/26 01:58 PM
1	Men dating younger women may be the only option left. I think most men learn these skills more "organically," and it's more neurodivergent or otherwise socially disadvantaged men who don't and may benefit from explicit instruction or practice. I've never watched any of the Rocky movies all the way through; they've just been in the background; but my understanding is the guy just had single-minded determination to get good at boxing. Intellectually, "there's no there there." With the James Bond movies, I'm not so sure anybody wants to end up in a "S…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/06/26 05:24 PM
1	How many of you are actively dating? Why or why not? My buddy did it once, and after paying, half of the "likes" disappeared, rest were either bots or just really unattractive. I won't pay for any premium, because I refuse to give money to these fuckers Yes, with inactive users, scammers, and outright bots, the paid features on online dating apps are borderline fraud. I also would prefer to just talk to women in person, and I do, but this doesn't really change anything. I get, at best, "wow, ANY girl would be lucky..." blahblablah Compatibility is…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/06/26 02:58 PM
1	How many of you are actively dating? Why or why not? Some of the apps show likes I would have to pay to see, but I did that once before, and they were not at all the kind of women I'm attracted to. I'm in my early forties now in a mid-sized Midwestern city, so online dating just isn't worth it here at this age especially. I hear about people doing a ton of analysis, A/B testing, and having professional photographs taken just to get matches—maybe. I'd rather just talk to women in person, and that has a dependency on being somewhere with single wome…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/06/26 02:27 PM
–	The 50/50 Rule: Reclaiming Men’s Self-Respect and Autonomy. Use your words, not ChatGPT's.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/06/26 08:30 PM
5	How many of you are actively dating? Why or why not? I think what a lot of women fail to understand is that online dating apps aren't a viable way for men to secure dates. That means offline instead. Currently, because of demographics and culture, I don't live in a city that's very conducive for finding women to date offline, but those same demographics and culture of marrying young and not prioritizing fitness could also be why online dating also sucks here. A lot of it also depends on who you know as people around here tend to stick with people …	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/06/26 08:27 PM
1	What has your actual lived experience/ challenges with dating been like? I'm in my early forties, so I'm primarily looking for women between about 25 and 33 years old. I'd assume aging together as a couple is a thing, but without prior attachment, I'm not really going for the women in their forties around here. Women a little younger—still in college or grad school—may be less likely to be looking for a serious, committed, long-term relationship. Ultimately though, it doesn't matter too much how attractive women find you or whatever else you have going on in your lif…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/06/26 02:14 PM
1	What has your actual lived experience/ challenges with dating been like? I currently don't live in an area with a high density of singles, and when I did, I spent the vast majority of that time in a long-term relationship. Everything is downstream of demographics and location, so sure, hobbies, volunteering, and all the rest are great; but they can only do so much if the dating pool is small to begin with. The metro area has a population of just under 3 million, so theoretically, a compatible partner should exist, but the reality is most people got married young here…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/06/26 02:57 AM
3	Most people don’t want to be around someone with a victim complex, Your posts usually seem like a reaction to some recent interaction you had online or off or a post you read on this subreddit or others. I'd assume people are putting their best foot forward when they're trying to get a date, not "letting it all hang out."	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/06/26 05:34 PM
1	Women find good men sexually appealing If someone is "susceptible to doing heinous shit," that means it takes minimal temptation or provocation for them to do horrible things, which would be contradictory to "good character," but you did say, "attributes for good character." Do you mean they have mere routines that happen to coincide with what someone with "good character" would do in many low-judgment, everyday situations?	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/06/26 11:00 PM
0	Women find good men sexually appealing Define your terms: What do you mean by good since people on this subreddit seem to be talking past one another when they say "good men"? Some use good in reference to moral character while some on here seem to mean "fit for purpose" or highly desirable as a partner., based on character to some degree but also things like looks, income, and some ineffable excitement factor or "spark." I'm sure some women find kind and morally good men sexually attractive just for those things, and some say they a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/06/26 02:11 PM
3	Weak males need protection like other minority groups Who's going to provide financial reimbursement for people having read this stuff though?	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/06/26 04:41 PM
2	Women are being scammed by the empowerment industry harder than men are by red pill, and it's not even close The feedback is...directional. What does this even mean to someone who's not a large language model? I've never heard an actual human being call advice, feedback, criticism, instructions, whatever "directional" before.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/06/26 04:33 PM
3	Is an average woman dating an average man considered "settling?" Anecdotal, but I've overheard women I at least find well below average in attractiveness talk about all the matches they're getting on online dating apps and trying to figure out the men's true "intentions," and a lot of them seem to develop an attitude that they're quite a bit more attractive (or "a catch" in general) than they might actually be. Online dating apps and social media have absolutely blown up the amount of male attention even fairly average women get in recent years, and I do thin…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/06/26 08:30 PM
1	Men and women do not live the same life Haven't most men been married by the age of 40 (and maybe since divorced)? I didn't drink back in college, so needless to say, that was limiting socially as most parties revolved around drinking, and people didn't want to invite a nondrinker. I took up social drinking later in my twenties, and that helped somewhat for meeting people since much of social life around here revolved around drinking (I hear Gen. Z drinks less, but Anheuser-Busch is based in this city) although, again, I rarely drink …	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/06/26 07:33 PM
1	Putting in less effort in attracting women actually works. If by less effort, you mean not acting desperate, then yes, desperation is not generally attractive, but besides basic hygiene and independent living, I do think putting in effort specifically towards meeting women matters. It depends on where you live. If you live in an area with a high enough density of single women, you'll just meet and interact with them if you leave the house regularly. If not, it may be rare to even cross paths with a halfway attractive woman who's also single without bein…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/06/26 05:25 PM
3	"Women should take me as I am!" is men also being picky like women if he's not likable. Let's rewind: So you're saying you just know these guys are mid They saw the women they get are either shitty or picky. Unfavorable demographics in an area tend to translate to lower quality of matches on online dating apps. If a man goes on a date with a woman who turns out to be entitled or disrespectful, he's probably not going to go on another date with her or only pursue something strictly short term and casual. I’m sorry, are you implying young people are OK with mediocre disrespectful peo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/06/26 11:05 PM
7	"Women should take me as I am!" is men also being picky like women if he's not likable. There's a lot more at play than a guy being "mediocre" or "disrespectful" that play a role in his dating success. Demographics come to mind. If a man is in an environment that's overwhelmingly male, well, his dating options are going to be limited; an area with a high rate of obesity or where people tend to marry young would be another example. You're also on a subreddit where people are frankly discussing dating and gender dynamics. Offline, they may just ignore someone they're not interested i…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/06/26 10:06 PM
5	"Women should take me as I am!" is men also being picky like women if he's not likable. So you're saying you just know these guys are mid and potentially low-key abusive (disrespectful at least)? Are they admitting to huffing down cheesy poofs in their mom's basement and never exercising and a woman should love them for it? I mean how do you know?	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/06/26 09:42 PM
11	"Women should take me as I am!" is men also being picky like women if he's not likable. Clarification: How many of the dudes on here are actively posting that they're mediocre or want to disrespect a future partner? That would sound like depression to admit to such or believe they are. If a person knows they kinda suck, it's not really contentious that they're limiting their options until they try to suck less. Not really a gender-specific thing either.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/06/26 09:08 PM
2	Q4M: Would you step in and support a single mom if the reason why she ended up in that situation is a noble, respectable reason? No, I'm not interested in raising or providing resources to another man's kid. Scenarios you might imagine don't change that. If somehow I were dating a single mother, I'd expect her to put me before children she had with another man, but realistically, since a mother understandably wouldn't do that, I'd rather just move somewhere else where the dating pool has fewer single mothers.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/06/26 08:26 PM
1	What if women were attracted to boring, apathetic, mediocre men instead of fun, energetic ones? If someone is working full-time (usually, forty hours or more per week) and getting eight hours of sleep a night and another hour or two on a commute to and from work and getting ready for work, they're already spending 75% of a typical work day on those things. Many jobs do demand more than forty hours a week or continuing education in their spare time. Temperament is a thing. Some people really are just drawn to "rest and digest" or the "cozy life." There are women like that, too, but it's pro…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/06/26 01:52 PM
1	What if women were attracted to boring, apathetic, mediocre men instead of fun, energetic ones? Even for friendships between men, that sounds horrible. You're kind of describing how a lot of my friends became (and remain) coming out of the pandemic although some of that might also just be getting older (people getting into their thirties and even forties and beyond). Well, some of my friends are doing self-improvement, but it doesn't necessarily make them more fun to be around or potentially better romantic partners for a future significant other, but it's self-improvement as they see it. …	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/06/26 12:36 AM
1	Approaching random women is a waste of time And I find that approaching women in person works much better, and apps are a pure waste of time 🤷	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/05/26 05:32 PM
2	Approaching random women is a waste of time Online dating apps are worse, so gotta do what works over what doesn't.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/05/26 03:59 PM
2	Will you marry a woman like that ? You're setting up a strawman (or straw-woman) of the kind of woman red-pill men hate. I lean liberal, but I'm not really into the kind of person who's the loudest poster over in r/politics.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/05/26 03:59 PM
–	What do you want to be valued for? Are you a neckbeard, and if so, how many cheesy poof crumbs are on your neckbeard right now?	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 01:35 AM
1	Your “archetype” aka what category you fall into upon first glance is the most important thing for attraction, for both genders. That's really not what's going through my head when I find a woman attractive. I find those cultural accoutrements are less important—as long as I find her attractive.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 01:03 AM
2	What do you want to be valued for? Imagine rationalizing it that way way as you're getting booted out of the singles mixer after you handed out flyers to the women with your "list."	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/05/26 12:35 AM
2	What do you want to be valued for? That's fine, but it's still gross. Imagine handing a print-out of your comment on a first date or at a singles mixer or speed dating event.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 11:03 PM
2	What do you want to be valued for? No, that's not what you said. You spilled a lot of text talking about your genitals. Maybe you should have kept it at, "I want her to want me."	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 09:56 PM
2	Men have so it so easy ...the smart guy with a great degree.... From my experience, a lot of women may be impressed by intelligence, but they're much less likely to be viscerally attracted to it. Working out more pays off much more directly, at least as far as that primal attraction goes.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 09:54 PM
9	Your social circle is not a representative sample of either gender I would be frightened if all the homebodyish friends I know were actually a statistically representative sample of men.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 09:49 PM
2	What do you want to be valued for? This is pretty gross. Have you tried talking to actual human beings in the realm of "touch grass"? Don't make yourself an embarrassment of men.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 09:45 PM
1	Your “archetype” aka what category you fall into upon first glance is the most important thing for attraction, for both genders. I don't strive to fit my interests into some "'archetype,'" and I've always found it kind of strange how various interests, occupations, and aesthetics tend to clump together. Do people decide, "Well, I'm a software engineer, so it's obligatory I like board games and anime," or is there some other mechanism at play? You ever explain to someone “yea I saw this girl, she’s like the animal loving, artist barista. She’s so cute i can’t stop thinking about her” Not really, no. For one, infatuation li…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 03:56 PM
2	Is dating a numbers game for men? It's just a different way of looking at the numbers. I rather be in a position of strength and maintain optionality until I find the one woman I want to have a life-long partnership with. Achieving that goal is easier if I attract a variety of women and have no attachment to outcomes. If the women are coming to me or sending obvious signals to approach them (the "warm approach"), it's so much better than what a lot of the men on this subreddit complain about with things like "jestering" and the …	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 02:19 PM
3	The wall isn't real. It's a psyop that benefits mediocre men. It sounds like you've spent time in Missouri.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/05/26 01:11 PM
1	Leaving a woman is not trying to control a woman If it's a surprise and a dealbreaker that a man's wife is going to get a tattoo, I'm assuming their marriage has bigger problems. If a dude feels like he'd want to get divorced because his wife won't concede to some particular sex act, he sounds like a bottom-of-the-barrel shitty dude, and maybe she would actually be better off if they got divorced because he sounds like a shitty, entitled person.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/05/26 02:49 PM
2	Is dating a numbers game for men? For men, yes, on first approximation, dating is a numbers game, at least until a man gets to know a particular woman well enough to consider a serious relationship with her. Increasing the number of potential partners but also rapidly filtering out incompatible potential partners could both be strategies for dealing with the numbers. I'm fairly liberal myself and fine with using a trans individual's preferred pronouns and all that, but I won't date a trans-woman. It may be a valid filter to "uns…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/05/26 02:41 PM
1	Guys keep implying that they either didn’t know shallow women existed or that they want shallow women. Dating and relationships are fundamentally different from "just friends." It's complex social behavior scaffolded over a primordial biological imperative, even if, for men at least, we're typically not thinking about the being-a-father part. People who are not demisexual need to experience some amount of "primary sexual attraction" to make it work. She may be "a nice gal," but that's not how attraction works. Practically, a middle-aged man may realize a woman who's still in college is probably l…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 07:43 PM
1	"Women are people too. Just treat them like they are human". Is such anoverblown, and hella misleading advice for men Anecdotally, this doesn't match what I've heard from women I'd consider to be well below average in appearance and other characteristics. I can't say anything about the quality of the matches these women are getting, but since they're getting them, they're spending time trying to be selective and figure out the man's actual intent. This may also depend on where you live. If you live somewhere where a lot of women are obese, then a lot of men end up settling for an obese woman by default, even if…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/05/26 07:05 PM
2	I want to ask an unusual question to you straight men I can't speak for other men, but as a straight man, I barely notice other men's physical appearance. Most men look ordinary, unremarkable to me; they don't have gross deformities. I'm in the Midwest, so a lot of the men here have that conventionally masculine appearance; when I'm on a run, it seems there are no shortage of men who are also running or jogging and taking care of overall fitness in comparison to the majority of women I see, but anecdotal impressions are going to vary a lot from pla…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/05/26 02:00 PM
12	Women have unintentionally made the decent men leave the dating pool "Women" didn't tell you anything. Specific women posting video shorts to social media vented in your general direction. The "algorithm" noticed higher user engagement, and before you knew what was happening, you were mainlining videos of specific women scolding "men" and adjusting your beliefs based on a potentially unrepresentative sample of women. Reality doesn't match what they say. Sure, maybe those women don't want random male attention, and that's right for them. That kind of filtering wor…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 11:26 PM
7	Women have unintentionally made the decent men leave the dating pool OP seems to be confusing being considerate with being neurotic.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/05/26 11:07 PM
1	Why do Men degrade and insult Women who have sex with them? Your impressions don't match my own experience, but then again, my friends are mostly introverts who aren't even actively dating. This subreddit has some extremely weird and sometimes misogynist takes, but a lot of it seems to be from highly neurotic dudes who aren't having any success with women whatsoever. I certainly don't insult or degrade women I've been with, and I don't make it a habit of spending time with men who do.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/05/26 02:19 AM
3	Basing off the 80/20 theory- for those of you in the 80% would you rather not have sex or be alone? An obvious third option is to do the things to make oneself attractive to a potential partner who wants him physically as well as for companionate partnership.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/26 06:19 PM
-1	We can’t moralize women’s selection of men, but we somehow moralize men’s inability to be selected. Why do so many of these posts sound like they were written by AI or at least heavily edited with AI?	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/05/26 11:33 AM
1	It's fine to have a type. Just admit that you do. You don't get men. You'll never deeply understand the drives men feel and the experiences they have that lead men to behave as they do and see the world as they do, not even counting the diversity of male experience. Sure, you may coldly comprehend the words various men are saying to describe their world, but your perseveration here implies you'll never really get it. You can't just imagine transposing your mind into a man's body and think you've solved their issues, if only they'd take your adv…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/05/26 05:22 PM
5	Why do Men degrade and insult Women who have sex with them? You're talking about shitty men.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/05/26 04:18 PM
7	What is wife material, and why women should want to be wife material? Everyone is going to be a little different, but for me, it would be a combination of things: She has consideration for my preferences and goals, so it feels like a partnership, not a lop-sided relationship. There's not a lot of conflict. She can disagree with me maturely so that we can figure out a good compromise together; she's neither hiding her own preferences nor being demanding and uncompromising about them. We can enjoy each other's company. In short, I can imagine a future with her.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/05/26 09:10 PM
11	Men do NOT need to “do better”. Meanwhile women have become less attractive on average to men.... This may be downstream of economic bifurcation and other cultural and socio-economic pressures. The attractive women with a college degree tend to migrate most heavily to a handful of cities like New York while men in the trades or manual labor may be more likely to stay closer to where they grew up; men with STEM degrees are more likely to tend towards male-skewed "tech hubs" like the San Francisco Bay Area or the Seattle-Bellevu…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/05/26 06:25 PM
–	Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have game or mastered the game For most people, I'd imagine, the goal of dating is to find a serious, long-term partner, not to keep dating different people indefinitely. The qualities that lead to happy long-term relationships aren't really the same as the qualities that make it easy for a man to get lots of dates with lots of women. Obviously, people have to meet and go on dates for the relationship to happen in the first place, but do you really think many 40 year olds want to just keep going on first dates instead of buil…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/05/26 03:09 PM
–	women hate “choose better” because they dont like the responsibility of when their choices go bad. And it only applies to them. Can't the same be said of men: overlooking major flaws because she's "hot" or "fun" or because they've been together for a while? How blunt are your friends if the woman you're dating turns out to be less a catch than you initially thought? Do they tell you to dump her or rib you for it, or do they dance around the issue? Are other men going around telling men to raise their standards? The impression is that's not so common, and dating dynamics would be less screwed up if men were more selective…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/05/26 09:13 PM
–	Q4M: what are you visually communicating to others with your style? This might just be another one of those gender-socialization differences with having Asperger's syndrome exacerbating it. I just don't spend a lot of time thinking about it, but over the years, I made sure to wear nicer (not ratty, old) and better-fitting clothes, and that's helped along with working out more. I've found a wide variety of women have been attracted to me, so the way I dress hasn't been a barrier to finding a good relationship; that comes down to location: The dating pool here is …	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/05/26 08:39 PM
–	Q4M: what are you visually communicating to others with your style? I have Asperger's syndrome (on the autism spectrum), so I really don't think about clothing as a way of communicating by default although some people on the autism spectrum do seem to gravitate to alternative or subcultural modes of identity expression. I also live in a mid-sized Midwestern city where men tend to dress in a fairly narrow range of styles anyway. A lot of it frankly comes down to comfort or convenience. I was already a runner, but after an injury, I found wearing my running shoes …	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/05/26 07:20 PM
1	What is it like wanting female validation badly Libido is on a spectrum, and I have male friends who don't really "get it" either; this seems to correlate with things like introversion and neuroticism, though. The idea of hooking up with someone they barely know or know they have some kind of personality or values incompatibility with is alien to them as is the idea of finding places to go with better odds (not some video game night). Likewise, there seem to be plenty of women whose behavior is closer to stereotypically male in this regard: a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/05/26 12:40 AM
1	Approaching women at bars/clubs a waste of time The odds are much better at a bar than through the online dating apps. Long lines for entry aren't typical for bars in St. Louis, Missouri, and here, people go out with groups of friends, so if you go solo, you're in for a bad time. Then again, I really haven't done that since my twenties, so maybe times have changed. I have Asperger's syndrome, so it was definitely hard mode for me, but it still beat online dating because you could actually have a conversation with a woman. Eventually, I found …	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/05/26 02:06 PM
1	Why do men accuse women of having high standards, then the same men proceed to shame women for marrying guys they aren't attracted to? Personally, I only date women I'm attracted to. It only makes sense for a person, man or woman, to date people they're attracted to. It's just sour grapes, the people saying otherwise. For men, if we want to increase the odds of attracting the kind of woman we're attracted to, there's the so-called "self-improvement": working out, dressing better, getting a higher-paying job, taking up more exciting hobbies, whatever is likely to increase the appeal to the kind of woman a man wants to date. Like…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/05/26 06:09 PM
0	I find it EXTREMELY hard to sympathize with most of women's dating woes. You say that as if it were a problem. It is right for a man to reject a woman for weighing 300 pounds. Health matters, and most people aren't going to yoke themselves to incipient health problems, let alone navigate the lack of physical attraction. You have to have known this. If you believed, "Big is beautiful (by fiat)," well, you were lied to. Sure, a few men may have a specific desire for more obese women, but that's not common, and yes, some men are "thirstier" and willing to ignore their l…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/05/26 02:04 AM
0	I find it EXTREMELY hard to sympathize with most of women's dating woes. At least that's fixable with self-discipline and effort.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/05/26 10:06 PM
–	I find it EXTREMELY hard to sympathize with most of women's dating woes. Your comment will most likely summon u/LillthOfBabylon.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/05/26 10:04 PM
4	Terrible assholes can come in all shapes and size. They dont have to be hot jocky badboys. On first glance, this is a refreshing change of pace from your usual posts, but on closer inspection, I think, by assholes, you're mostly sticking to your usual theme: men wanting to get physical within a month or two, even the "creeps and neckbeards." I don't think that in itself is enough to qualify someone as an asshole, though.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/05/26 01:03 AM
1	Q4M: What women-focused media to you engage with? Like many people with Asperger's syndrome (autism spectrum), I read mostly nonfiction; being hypophantasic likely plays a role in that, too. Besides Reddit, I really don't use social media much at all, but then again, I'm also not on here posting red pill talking points. I think a lot of men are basing things off their experiences offline with dating as much as second-hand information from social media, but social media can help shape their confusion and frustrations. It was over a decade ago no…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/04/26 06:16 PM
3	A lot of men lack agency and responzibility Most people, men and women alike, show limited agency in their day-to-day lives; it's easier to wait or follow. Most people also aren't going to go "agentic" over every little aspect of their lives (it's not worth trying to get the meal options changed somewhere they'll only be for a day or two maybe). There's also a moral valence to exercising agency. "Change your environment, or change your environment," could mean moving to a new city or finding a new group to participate in, but the other se…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/26 08:36 PM
3	Modern women overrate their value way more than men Even less attractive women apparently get quite a few matches on the online dating apps, as I understand. I was at an event Saturday night, and I overheard a group of three frankly rather homely women (well below average, even for the area) talking about strategy for replying to men's messages on the swipe apps and what men's intent might be from their messages. The women seemed to hold a high opinion of themselves, relative to the men they were matching with. Needless to say, I didn't stick aro…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/26 01:37 AM
2	CMV: Men in their 20s should date around and play the field If someone's already in a great relationship, why throw it away just to "date around and play the field"? It wouldn't make sense to rush into marriage and children, but why trade something good for something that may very well only be worse? Location may play a part. The dating pool in the Midwest gets picked over very quickly. In cities like New York, no, people tend not to get married and have kids so young.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/26 12:58 AM
–	Refusing to work on social skills is a sign of laziness. Being overly agreeable for a man isn't a great idea—not that someone should veer in the opposite direction and be a highly disagreeable jerk. I've been giving a friend advice that amounts to being less agreeable with his team lead: not abrasive but firm. People who make it to adulthood with low social skills are either going to have something major that prevented them from developing them earlier or a condition like autism that means they have lower aptitude. That is not to say it isn't worth th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/04/26 12:29 AM
1	Cold approaching? So it sounds like "warm approach" is used for when someone has shown nonverbal signs of interest whereas "cold approach" is making an approach where the person may not have even noticed you before you say hello. With that distinction, I'd say go for the warm approach, not the completely cold approach. Get better at looking for cues signaling potential interest, and if you're not getting any, do things to improve your ability to attract interest in the first place. In my opinion, this is fine and…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/04/26 03:24 PM
15	What is your vetting advice for women? "If it's too good to be true, it probably is." If someone's laying on the compliments and flattery thick, making her feel like his attention is a rare and special thing she's earned, or making her feel like she needs to earn his approval, those are signs he may be manipulating her emotions. It's not "good personality" or "social skills"; it's being practiced in convincing women he'll stick around for a relationship when that's not what he wants. There are more obvious personality faults like coc…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/26 11:44 PM
–	Chores are survival skills not gender roles If chores are what's going to make or break a relationship, there's always trying to scrounge up enough money to hire a maid instead of letting an otherwise happy relationship fail over chores. I agree, though, that grown adults, men and women alike, should be able to do basic chores like cleaning their home, doing laundry, and cooking. I'd think (or hope at least) most people start doing household chores as children, starting with making their bed and picking up their toys when they're done pla…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/04/26 01:51 PM
1	What are some do's and don't you here from men giving advice that you don't agree with? Preferring not to date single mothers isn't necessarily a red-pill thing. A lot of men are just going to have an almost instinctual preference for women who aren't going to put children they had with other men before them; a lot of men aren't going to want to put resources towards raising other men's children. It's not an idea that came to these men because they got "red-pilled" necessarily.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/04/26 01:40 PM
–	If you don’t go to clubs/bars you can’t say you want to get women/being introverted is a choice I'm an Elder Millennial, so an age difference here probably plays a role; most night clubs are much more targeted towards people in their twenties. I'm also neurodivergent, having Asperger's syndrome (on the autism spectrum), which makes night clubs in particular unappealing places to go (even back when I was in my twenties). So I prefer meeting people at daytime events. The things I enjoy doing tend to require daylight, and I'm more a morning person now than back in my teens and twenties. I don…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 08:42 PM
1	CMV: Men aren’t “afraid of commitment” anymore, we’re just more selective than previous generations This is highly dependent on where you live. I currently live in a mid-sized Midwestern city, and people tend to rapidly pair off between 25 and 30, so the 30+ dating pool is more picked over. Women approach me offline, but I hardly ever get matches through the apps, so I surmise women who would approach me offline are filtering me out based on age, and again, the 30+ dating pool around here is limited. Again, this is the U.S. Midwest; it's more family oriented; so even offline, there just isn't …	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/04/26 03:51 PM
10	Conspiracy : We will see never seen levels off self improving in the next Years for Men, and it will get really bad. If you actually step outside and look around, how many women do you see actually putting in bare minimum effort to be attractive to a man? If you're in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Nashville, or Miami or you're still in college, you may see more, but step into Middle America for a minute. It's basically not even there at all, a relatively minuscule proportion. You should be asking about whether there needs to be a counterbalance to things like the fat-acceptance movement to encourage people t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/04/26 05:24 PM
3	CMV: Women's typical dating advice is not purposed with genuinely helping guys find solutions, but rather subconscious privilege-guarding So you're proposing that there is a more or less conscious conspiracy among women to continue the reap the benefits of modern dating by intentionally giving out ineffective advice to men, that these women all see the benefit they get from online dating apps and social media and want to somehow coordinate to keep an edge over men? And with 1000s of other potentially better pics to look at, a woman is not particularly tempted to read your witty DM/dating profile bio/whatever. [...] And this is why…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/04/26 01:36 AM
–	What do you think personality is in dating context? I think of personality in the sense of academic psychology like the Big Five of personality dimensions: extraversion/introversion, neuroticism/emotional stability, agreeableness/disagreeableness, conscientiousness/lack of conscientiousness, and openness to experience/closedness from experience. When people speak of more specific personality traits, they'd normally fall under one (or possibly more) of those broader personality dimensions because certain traits correlate. The combination of high i…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/04/26 04:20 PM
2	Only wanting women who give you instant sexual gratification is being picky too. Schizoid personality disorder is basically extreme introversion, and in the ICD-10, diagnostic criterion e reads as follows: little interest in having sexual experiences with another person (taking into account age) So schizoid personality disorder is linked with asexuality. I think Reddit and especially r/PurplePillDebate has people who are more introverted and, on this forum especially, more neurotic than average. What they say isn't going to match the preferences and dating style of the major…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/04/26 03:14 PM
4	Only wanting women who give you instant sexual gratification is being picky too. You post on this theme a lot. Clearly, it must bother you. I think it's accurate to say that, on average, men want to take things physical sooner than women, on average, but there's still enough overlap that people can navigate the differences. If your preferences are another standard deviation or two from the norm, it's going to limit your pool of compatible men.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/04/26 02:24 PM
2	Only wanting women who give you instant sexual gratification is being picky too. Some people don't prioritize sexual compatibility, but that may be because they're asexual or demisexual in the first place. If the relationship is otherwise going well but the woman wants to wait beyond two months, yes, a lot of man are going to start looking elsewhere. Highly religious young couples might want to wait until marriage. A thirty-something probably doesn't want to wait six months or more for the potential. There are always exceptions; there are men who are asexual or low in libido…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/04/26 02:05 PM
3	Only wanting women who give you instant sexual gratification is being picky too. I didn't say that, but a lot of men are going to start feeling dissatisfied after a month or two and several dates in. It's a good way to torpedo an otherwise good relationship, so compatibility on pacing also matters. This is clearly a major area of concern for you since you rehash this topic a lot. There really are men who'd want to move at as slow a pace as you'd like, but they're probably not very active in looking in the first place. Most of my friends talk about dating completely in the hy…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/04/26 10:12 PM
3	Only wanting women who give you instant sexual gratification is being picky too. You wrote this: Why are you guys so scared to just admit you want your dick wet as soon as possible? If it’s so shameful for you guys to just admit you want quick sex, then stop pursuing it. The implication is that's the overriding goal. It's not, not for everyone. It's obviously a factor, but people can want physical and companionship.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/04/26 10:00 PM
6	Only wanting women who give you instant sexual gratification is being picky too. You're presenting a false dilemma. It's not either strictly physical or Platonic companionship only. Men who prefer to move faster are probably going to be more attracted to women who move faster, but those women aren't you, apparently, and that's okay, but your preference comes with trade-offs. There are also men who prefer to move more slowly. A lot of my friends are like that. But they're introverted. Nerdy. They don't approach women. You might not like men like them and prefer the men who te…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/04/26 09:44 PM
7	Only wanting women who give you instant sexual gratification is being picky too. It's a lack of self-respect for a man to be willing to "'take any woman.'" That would mean potentially settling for an abuser, a partner with myriad and obvious problems that would quickly become his problems too, or someone who has extreme incompatibilities of lifestyle or values. So such a claim isn't a virtue (the same would apply for women, of course). The reality is a large chunk of men aren't going to be motivated strictly by Platonic companionship; the physical part is an important part o…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/04/26 07:06 PM
1	Simps are the problem. Good point 😆 Well, it looked like you were replying in support of OP's point of view.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/26 11:55 PM
1	Simps are the problem. I mean, yes, but the core thesis of your debate topic is, "Simps are the problem," but it sounds like you actually think this is a downstream consequence of other changes. I wouldn't think trying to deter behavior driven by stronger incentives would be very effective. Game theory can be used to model it. A person can cooperate with this "rule" or defect; if everyone cooperates, sure, everyone wins, but if someone defects, they get the gains (at least as they see it) while everyone else's situati…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/26 09:05 PM
0	Simps are the problem. So then you're saying simps aren't really the problem, at least not the root cause here; they're reacting to a change of incentives in the dating environment in the last ten to twenty years or so, and you're suggesting online dating and technology (social media and smartphones?) along with the death of third spaces are the problem. Regarding third spaces, are there really no coffee shops, restaurants, bookstores, libraries, bars, or churches (synagogues, temples, or mosques) around you? Do you t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/26 08:20 PM
0	Simps are the problem. Okay, why do you think women's options in dating opened up so much (compared to ten, twenty, or thirty years ago)? What do you believe was the causative change?	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/26 06:17 PM
2	Simps are the problem. Why do you think men started "simping" more than days when you believe dating was easier (I'm assuming you believe dating used to be easier for heterosexual men ten, twenty, or thirty years ago)?	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/04/26 11:35 PM
3	What do you feel like hinders you most in dating? Location, location, location. Like many who've already replied here, I'm also neurodivergent (Asperger's syndrome), but at this point in my life, I don't think that's as significant a blocker anymore (other than the downstream impact of not having a larger social network established at an earlier age). It's just not a city with a large dating pool as people tend to marry young, and (going back to the neurodivergence), people tend to stick with the people they already know to a much greater exten…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/04/26 09:41 PM
1	Having hobbies is essential for having individualality and being intersting India is definitely a melting pot in its own right; and a lot of people know about the North/South cultural gradient; but India also has at least four separate language families native to the country (Indo-European, Dravidian, Austro-Asiatic, and Sino-Tibetan plus the Ongan languages in the Andaman and Nicobar Islands) and two major religious families (the Dharmic religions with Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and Sikhism and the Abrahamic religions with primarily Islam as well as smaller Jewish an…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/04/26 03:54 PM
2	Having hobbies is essential for having individualality and being intersting You really don't know my personal situation. Life comes with all kinds of trade-offs. I'm an Elder Millennial, not a twenty-something, and traveling to Europe was my first trip off the North American continent. I live pretty frugally overall, driving a somewhat old, fuel-efficient car and living in a modest home that's barely enough space for a single person and one pet. There are lots of ways to make traveling in Europe more affordable like hostels, public transit, and inter-city trains.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/04/26 03:18 PM
3	Having hobbies is essential for having individualality and being intersting I think you're forgetting how travel can dovetail with other interests. For example, two of my interests are languages and history. Traveling to Europe let me speak languages I had been studying with native speakers, and Europe is full of history, so it can be pretty cool to walk around the Forum after having read Livy's History of Rome. Plenty of people travel for hobbies: sports, swap meets for various collectibles, conventions.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/04/26 01:46 AM
0	Sex isn't worth the hoops many men jump through to get it. Compared to what: video games, board games, collectible cards, streaming content? If a man feels like a woman is throwing too many hoops up, he can always move on. Realistically, I'd just rather go on a date that turned out lame and she's incompatible than go to a party on a Friday night that turns out to be just a bunch of dudes sitting around a TV, playing video games and drinking beer. ...especially since its for just a few moments of pleasure. That's more a you problem.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/04/26 06:56 PM
1	What kind of women usually date autistic men? My social skills have improved somewhat from way back in college, and there are things like clumsiness or gait that would stand out even without direct interaction, but I don't think people picked up on the autism too much when I was traveling abroad (different from living in one place abroad for an extended time).	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/04/26 06:48 PM
1	Men complain about “women being able to detect bad men” when they are considered the bad men. I wouldn't think most men are "bad men"; I wouldn't consider my friends "bad men" at least (we're not talking normal personality differences like someone who is kind in intent but sometimes a little thoughtless). It seems, though, that bad men, the ones with strong sociopathic tendencies, can be prolific in the problems they cause other people. A friend one time mentioned a guy he knew back in college who would throw parties. The guy had apparently gotten a reputation as "pushy," rapey, but I'm …	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/04/26 06:32 PM
5	Do we all really mean the same thing when we say ‘dominant’? Sociologically, a distinction is made between prestige and dominance. Prestige would come from things like being cultured, knowledgeable, that sort of thing. Dominance implies force or the threat of force at root, meting out rewards and punishment to supplicate allies and extract obedience. Domineering behavior might get a person to a position of dominance in the short term, but in so doing, they alienate themselves from the people around them, who will probably regroup and push back later (see …	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/04/26 05:53 PM
3	Age gap relationships: Most people against them are being disingenuous I don't ask a woman I meet if she's 29 or 30, but there's often a big difference between 29 and 39. Some of it may be genetics, but some may come down to lifestyle, and in the U.S. Midwest, people often don't live a healthy lifestyle.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/04/26 04:38 PM
4	Age gap relationships: Most people against them are being disingenuous Women in their twenties tend to be more forward with men. Aging also affects everyone differently, so apparently, a lot of these women in their twenties have assumed I'm only a few years older than they are, not ten or fifteen years older. If they're wanting to talk to me, that doesn't make me obligated to go on a date with them or vice versa. The twenty-something-year-old women, at least the ones bold enough to approach men, also exude the kind of fun, excitement, and adventure that can be appe…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/04/26 03:58 PM
–	What keeps men coming back to this sub? I found out about this subreddit while I was searching for some insights (really, just confirmation of my own observations) of dating struggles in the local dating pool. In theory, discussing dating from a more eyes-open perspective could be interesting. In practice, I think quite a few participants here—men and women, red- or blue-pilled—have deeper issues than tactical dating struggles.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/04/26 01:53 AM
1	This question is primarily for men, but open to anyone. If you woke up as a straight woman, what kind of partner would you go for? I really don't seek out specific traits too much upfront. There are a few, but I'm not fixated on, for example, a woman being super artsy or extremely inquisitive. Intelligence is necessary for a lasting partnership to work, and I'm going to select against signs of bad character (lying and cheating, arrogance and entitlement, meanspiritedness) and for signs of good character (patience, ability to compromise, kindness, concern for the well-being of her partner), but other than that, I see dating …	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/04/26 11:40 PM
5	What kind of women usually date autistic men? I was always very interested in learning about foreign cultures, so back in college, I was eager to get to know the foreign exchange students, but they lost interest once they realized it was "the 'tism," not just a culture difference. In retrospect, I think a lot of them were more interested in getting the American college party experience.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/04/26 01:30 AM
3	What kind of women usually date autistic men? Also an elder Millennial, and I wasn't diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome until I was 18. Back in high school, I certainly didn't understand the subcultural drive to dress Goth or emo and listen only to certain genres of music associated with these subcultures. Yes, people tended to cluster into cliques in the cafeteria and lobby in the morning as the school buses dropped students off; I was kind of on my own.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/04/26 01:27 AM
0	What kind of women usually date autistic men? If I match with someone on one of the online dating apps, I try to take the date offline as soon as possible; I prefer to assess compatibility in person, and the typical male experience isn't to be overwhelmed with matches anyway. Because of this, I've gone on dates with women with varying personalities so long as they cleared some minimum bar (not overweight, not obviously crazy, not obviously on drugs), which nevertheless sends a large portion of profiles into the left-swipe abyss (Tinder prob…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/04/26 01:20 AM
1	More men struggle with women because more men are boring People will seem boring if you can't get them to open up about their passions and goals; this is not something a lot of people are going to be good at proactively doing for you (privacy among strangers, unpracticed in communicating in this way with strangers). Also, a lot of environments preclude having these deep conversations, even if they're intended for mixing with strangers; I was actually having a conversation about this with a friend just last night. For example, trivia nights let people …	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/04/26 03:06 PM
1	RP “truths” disregard a key aspect of human relationships, bonding. Attachment or pair-bonding comes further down the road: several dates in maybe. Landing dates and going from first date to relationship come before that. I agree that thinking of it using market metaphors can seem crass, though. We're talking about making adjustments to our approach based on supply and demand, deciding how much we value our preferences, and doing all this as others do the same in a decentralized system; so let's call it a marché: It's fancy; it's French! In the marché of our hea…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/04/26 12:08 AM
1	CMV: Most guys don’t fail in dating because of looks or status.. They fail because they don’t understand banter. This banter thing you describe—playfully engaging in mock disagreement or teasing—doesn't come naturally to me at all. It's also not something there are many organic opportunities to practice. I don't "joke" about pineapple on pizza; that's dumb. I find it easier to do things like exercise or dress nicer; these don't have a dependency on anybody else, and women are more willing to overlook small social flubs if they're attracted to you or the ones actively making the approach in the first place.…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/04/26 02:54 PM
–	Thirsty Men undercutting other Men that have principles, destroyed the value off Men, and we wont recover from this. And why do you think this is more common now than in 2016, 2006, or 1996?	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/04/26 02:13 AM
–	Thirsty Men undercutting other Men that have principles, destroyed the value off Men, and we wont recover from this. Like OP, you haven't addressed why either. People can also pursue relationships without wanting children.	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/03/26 08:25 PM
–	Thirsty Men undercutting other Men that have principles, destroyed the value off Men, and we wont recover from this. Your argument is tautological. You're saying the dating market is "cooked" (worse) because men are "thirstier" but men are thirstier because the dating market is worse. You posit this is because women decided to "'sit out'" more often than men did. Assuming this is true, why do you think women have decided to "'sit out'" dating more in 2026 than they did in, say, 2016 or 2006?	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/03/26 07:26 PM
1	Losing a monoculture makes dating harder, sure, but it also makes it more rewarding I don't actually go to table-top events. A friend invited me to a few board-game nights (is there a difference between table-top and board games? looks like Dungeons and Dragons?). I was walking down the street one time and randomly decided to check out a game store but immediately left without walking through the threshold of the door because of the stench wafting from people gathered 'round a table for some game. The board game nights were overwhelmingly male, and I never saw any women I was a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/03/26 02:50 AM
2	Losing a monoculture makes dating harder, sure, but it also makes it more rewarding Yes, it's always possible an attractive woman will show up to, for example, a table-top gaming night, but there are social-reinforcement mechanisms that stack the odds against it. Maybe this bifurcation is less pronounced in some cities than others.	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/03/26 02:08 AM
1	Losing a monoculture makes dating harder, sure, but it also makes it more rewarding I'm neurodivergent, so my interests and outlook would never have been "normie," even without the Internet. I don't think having the exact same interests and hobbies is really the crucial thing to long-term compatibility anyway, though. In practice, these "subcultures," as you call them, and niche interests, aren't where the attractive women go.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/03/26 07:01 PM
–	You told men to not approach you, so we listened. You're extrapolating from what some random women on social media said; they're not speaking for every woman just as you're not speaking for every man. Extreme neuroticism will screw you over—in dating but also in other aspects of life.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/03/26 01:57 PM
1	The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a Partner I haven't been in my twenties for years, and I really don't drink, so "nightlife" isn't really my thing. I prefer settings that make it easier to meet people without alcohol or loud, thumping music that's hard to hear people over. I also prefer a more active, healthy lifestyle. So a city with a ton of bars might be great for some, but I really don't want to be hitting up bars and nightclubs on a regular basis. I prefer what I guess is sometimes called "day game." So I prefer meeting people doing…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/03/26 01:08 AM
1	The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a Partner It's weird to make a list of al the cities where people are more friendly, open to be approached or are skinnier, because it also depends where you are from. Yes, but if a person is having trouble dating, traveling or moving can open their eyes to how much better it could be somewhere else. People in hostels are usually friendly and it's easy to get casual sex. It depends on the hostel. I'm no longer in my twenties, and "party hostels" aren't appealing. When I was traveling in Europe, I was most…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/03/26 03:01 PM
1	The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a Partner If you're in a place where most of the desirable women have quickly paired off or only remain single very briefly before getting back into a relationship, you're just positioning yourself better in a small and picked-over dating pool. Sure, those more attractive women who aren't single may be more willing to cheat with you—if that's what you're looking for—or consider you when they're "on a break" from their partner, but if you'd rather date women who are cleanly single, there may be more and be…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/03/26 02:52 PM
1	The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a Partner In the largest metro areas like New York City or Chicago, yes, people may not want to date outside their neighborhood, borough, or subway/L line because the population density of singles is such that they can do that and have plenty of options without the logistical hurdles of getting to a neighborhood on the other side of the city. In a mid-sized city though, it can be a mere half-hour's drive from the suburbs to the core city. I can see how living in one of those neighborhoods in the City migh…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/03/26 02:28 PM
1	The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a Partner Bluntly, that's gross and exploitative. I'm talking about traveling or relocating to other areas within a person's own country or other developed nations.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/03/26 01:58 PM
1	Guys don’t actually want women who actually want good men. I've found cold-approaching to be the best way to meet women—certainly better than the apps, but again, it's easier in the right place. How much people are couch potatoes impacted by the "obesity epidemic" varies somewhat by city. In some parts of Europe, I barely saw any obese people at all; likewise, in some cities in the U.S., it's at least a little less common while, in others, it seems like at least half the people are obese.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/03/26 07:42 PM
7	The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a Partner Well, yes, it would be nice if dating didn't require moving, but my point is unless you're willing to settle hard, moving might be the best way to improve your dating odds because different cities have different demographics and cultures. If someone lived in a small town with a population of only 300 and didn't marry their high school sweetheart and isn't interested in the three other single people in their graduating class, it would be reasonable to advise them to start looking outside their sm…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/03/26 07:21 PM
4	The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a Partner The intent of the first paragraph was to stipulate a person doesn't have any glaring flaws keeping them from meeting someone. You're right that having other qualities beyond some baseline matters, too, but that's the kind of stuff that's more about individual preference. A person who's really into surfing is going be bummed out that there aren't any waves hundreds of miles inland. Different cities are going to tend to bring out people who prefer different hobbies and lifestyles. The less a perso…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/03/26 06:41 PM
2	The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a Partner I was in Nashville, Tennessee, for a long weekend a couple of summers ago, and it was awesome: tons of people out and about. Paris and Rome were backed with tourists last summer. California is congested (isn't it always?) although locals report it's less "active" than before the pandemic. Maybe it's where you're visiting.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/03/26 06:29 PM
3	Guys don’t actually want women who actually want good men. Engineering schools have been screwed for dating for generations. There's an old joke about the main engineering-focused university in the state I (Millennial) live in: "The odds are good, but the goods are odd" (from a heterosexual woman's perspective); apparently, that saying is used elsewhere too for similar. Not only is it engineering focused, but also there isn't much within an hour's drive of town, so apparently, all these engineering students would get drunk with a bunch of dudes for fun …	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/03/26 06:21 PM
3	The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a Partner Maybe, but there are still plenty of people out and about in more vibrant areas.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/03/26 06:15 PM
9	The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a Partner What's your point? The argument is dating can be significantly easier in some cities than others.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/03/26 06:13 PM
4	The Preeminence of Place in Pursuing a Partner Sure, there are people on the apps, but it doesn't mean the options are great. Of that 2.9 million, the pool of single, never-married, no children is going to be much smaller (I am also older than 30). The exact percentages vary from city to city, but from experience, I can say the online dating apps aren't worthwhile here. Again, my personal experience is, offline, in person, in other cities, I can just meet attractive, interesting women without putting in some kind of special effort, trying to…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/03/26 06:12 PM
4	Are social skills learnable like all other skills? People who have poor social skills as adults probably have a reason for that; otherwise, they would have learned some baseline level of social skills before adulthood. There's a broad range of social and emotional competencies that fall under "social skills," but if they didn't learn them by adulthood, "total immersion" is going to be doing life on hard mode, which might be the only way to break the cycle of isolation, depending on circumstances. For example, people on the autism spectrum are go…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/03/26 04:50 PM
1	Men here misinterpret "personality matter" and overlook social skills. Actually communicating efficiently in the field that requires it is a skill. Perhaps, but for those with a more analytical and fact-oriented communication style, it may come more easily than informal socializing. In a way, it's the opposite: concise, unambiguous, factual (not relating feelings or personal experiences), avoiding metaphor and cultural references (teams often have people from all over the world). Trying to make new friends by communicating like you're running a business meeting pro…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/03/26 01:19 AM
2	Men here misinterpret "personality matter" and overlook social skills. You've never worked with a team of software engineers 😆 Social skills—beyond a baseline that's probably lower than most other professions—aren't as crucial for success on the job, at least up to a certain level of career progression, as hard technical skills on a lot of teams. Communication among software engineers can often be blunt, efficient exchange of information, especially when engineering teams are crushed by heavy workloads. You're explaining things as if people here are extremely naïve…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/03/26 05:52 PM
1	Signs of interest Who's getting burnt? Who's we? You're on your own on this one. If you're not willing to make the effort to read nonverbal communication, that's on you. Its utility extends beyond flirting. Sometimes the situation makes it more practical too: for example, a noisy subway car packed with people getting on and off at stops every minute or two. If this is too hard for you, how are you handling all the other difficult or ambiguous things that pop up in life?	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/03/26 05:12 PM
0	Signs of interest If you'd rather live that way, ultimately, that's on you. I've been diagnosed autistic, and even I have learned how to read nonverbal signals of attraction better. Really, the world isn't going to end if you act on a woman's ambiguous (but not really) cues.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/03/26 12:32 AM
1	Signs of interest Why do you think so? Railing that the world isn't fair or that women should make the approach instead of men and do it verbally won't magically make it so. You're better off acknowledging the reality principle, starting from how the world actually is and going from there. Besides, this would be an example of one of the least subtle non-verbal signals of attraction. If you can't read or refuse to read nonverbal communication, you're going to miss out on a lot of opportunities to meet women who mi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/03/26 03:16 PM
3	High value men mostly end up with high value women You assume there's a consistent, objective linearization of "value," such that everyone would sort according to income bracket, for example. Software engineering can (or used to) have decently high total compensation, for example, but software engineers also tend to be surrounded by dudes all day from college (computer science majors) onward, so they're more likely to meet a potential partner at a restaurant or coffee shop than through professional settings. I value intelligence in a long-term p…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/03/26 05:23 PM
3	This question is primarily for men, but open to anyone. If you woke up as a straight woman, what kind of partner would you go for? I'm not sure how you can fully separate attraction from the body, so this question doesn't make sense to me. I couldn't even assume that the personality traits I find attractive would be the same, that I'd weigh various factors of attraction the same, or that I'd experience attraction in the same way as I do now. Even across men, the experience of these things can be so drastically different.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/03/26 05:14 PM
3	Signs of interest One time, I was on the subway during rush hour, and a woman was giving me, as you call it, "The Eyes." She was very attractive, but I wasn't single at the time, so I didn't go for it (but definitely would have if I were single). I only looked back when I noticed she was staring directly at me because I was trying to figure out if she actually was staring at me and why. The intensity was enough that a homeless man nearby jumped back exclaiming "Whoa!"	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/03/26 05:05 PM
1	Politics absolutely do matter with who you’re dating. Not so much the content of it, but rather, alignment between yourself and your partner(s) In the "touch grass" world, I don't really hear people compulsively taking up uncompromising political stances nearly as much as on some of the subreddits here. People who aren't politicians or activists tend not to put their political identity front and center, even if they do have political opinions. In theory, a person can concur with me on politics, but the way they got there and the way they express their views may nevertheless make them much less compatible with me than someone I disagree …	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/03/26 04:54 PM
1	Q4M: What is the real reason y'all want to go out for drinks? I'm Millennial, not Gen. Z, so there may be a generational difference at play here, and I don't even drink (very much at all), but going out for drinks is kind of the stereotypical low-commitment first date (although a coffee date may be considered even lower commitment) since before Millennials were adults. On the dating apps, plenty of women mention drinking in their profiles, even today (espresso martinis, "Guess x, and I'll buy you a drink!" that kind of thing).	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/03/26 08:23 PM
–	The manosphere and looksmaxxing are direct outcomes of an open sexual market — and they’re becoming the new normal It's hard to engage with a post written with heavy AI assistance. It doesn't sound more clever; it sounds more fake. Just use your words instead of providing a prompt and letting the chat-bot add some fluff. We all know it when we see it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/03/26 01:17 AM
1	Apparently, men dehumanizing women is a normal part of male sexuality. What country is this?	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/03/26 01:03 AM
2	Most Men Don't Have Preferences. They Have Fear Same could be said of women. One might think these men and women would pair off with each other.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/03/26 11:16 PM
1	Men are just as picky as women. They just pretend their type of woman is the norm. I'd think most people—or a lot of people at least—wouldn't realize how different dating culture and demographics can be from city to city, even in the same country. People tend not to talk frankly about these things except in forums like this one; instead, they rely on platitudes like "It'll happen when you least expect it," or "You're a great guy; I'm sure there's someone out there for you" ("Blue Pill" stuff). “Everyone keeps talking about Jeffrey Epstein, I’m sure they’re just jealous of Jeff…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/03/26 01:02 PM
1	Is AI dating necessary or unhealthy? I'm in my forties and never married with no children; and dating is definitely a high priority for me. At my age, women in their twenties and early thirties sometimes approach me. Back in my twenties, I believed the typical "Blue Pill" stuff: Put yourself out there; "it'll happen when you aren't looking"; etc. That might work in some places, but in a city where people tend to marry young and stick with the people they've known since high school or younger, it just wasn't as useful. I am very muc…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/03/26 12:09 PM
1	Men are just as picky as women. They just pretend their type of woman is the norm. What's "the norm" can vary widely from place to place. I can go days or weeks without seeing a woman I'm attracted to where I currently live, but in some cities, it seems like most of the women are, on average, much more attractive and friendlier too. Not all of those women are dressed to the nines, but there's just a difference (not to put too much weight on any one factor). Not all cities: Berlin didn't do it for me, but some men might be into the women walking around with a full-on black tren…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/03/26 01:25 AM
2	"The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times. The other common denominator besides "modern dating" is where you live. Different places have different demographics and cultures. Different places have different amenities, places you can take someone on date or venues to meet potential dates at. Have you spent much time in other places and tried to strike up conversations with people in them? Some cities, people get married young or tend to socialize mostly among people they already know; that's going to make trying to date a lot harder.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/26 08:16 PM
1	Most Men Don't Have Preferences. They Have Fear This really doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. It feels more like a random grab-bag of unsupported assertions like this one: Most people in loving relationships could rack up a sizeable body count if they wanted to. Is this actually true? Why is this subreddit full of men complaining it's hard to find anyone to date? It [love] is the only emotion that universally steers most of storytelling, music, art, and cinema. I wouldn't say love is the main theme in most art. Sure, it pops up a lot; …	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/26 12:46 PM
3	You’re not a good person just because you proclaim so. People mean different things when they say "good." Nietzsche compared a Judeo-Christian concept of good—meek, self-sacrificing, ascetic—to a more pagan one emphasizing what's good for the flourishing of one's life and the fullest expression of one's will. Obviously, there are more complex mixtures and the matter of the contents of a person's will. According to some previous posts in this, "good men" actually refers to some baseline of kindness but also treats like sense of humor, social skill, a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/26 06:25 PM
1	Bumble is proof that women have to been taught to be very lazy when it comes to courtship My experience with Bumble was a few women messaged first with something like "hey" (effectively the same thing as leaving it up to me to send the first substantial message, so no different than the other apps). One woman used an extend-her-time feature to give her another 24 hours to say "hey" but didn't get around to it before the match expired. The quality of the women seems higher than Tinder, but either way, it's pretty much just "swiping into the void."	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/03/26 06:34 PM
0	Is AI dating necessary or unhealthy? I honestly didn't read this wall of text past the third paragraph: The average woman is nothing like a celebrity. Have you seen the average woman? The median age of women in the United States is about 40. You're probably not noticing the "average woman." Yes, average women are probably getting a lot more likes on online dating apps, but that's men taking a scatter shot approach, just swiping on everyone. You can date an AI chatbot or have your chatbot chat with potential dates' chatbots, but I'l…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/03/26 05:43 PM
2	Is dating in the Past really comparable to dating today? Don't forget the 2008 Global Financial Crisis and ~2007-09 Great Recession, the COVID-19 pandemic, or the post-pandemic period of above-target inflation (especially housing) and other economic de-stabilizers like tariffs and wars. K-shaped economic divergence and socio-cultural changes during the pandemic (more things moving online) can have impacts, too. I'm in the Elder Millennial generation; and things like online dating, social media, and the progenitor of Red Pill dating ideology were all a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/03/26 04:35 PM
3	Are Social Media Comparisons Raising the Bar for "Masculinity" Unrealistically? Celebrities existed before social media; people were influenced by what they saw on TV and in the movies. Social media would then only be an acceleration of trends already found in older entertainment media and advertising. One big difference is "the algorithm" can collect feedback on user engagement in near real time and process it automatically, but back in the olden days, businesses had to wait to see the box-office sales or the Nielson TV ratings: It's like the difference between indigenous …	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/03/26 03:50 PM
2	Have you cheated No, I've never cheated, and I find cheating repugnant. This is an area where Red Pill ideology is definitely wrong: Men have agency, of course, and won't just cheat just because the opportunity presents itself (decent men, at least). People made fun of Mike Pence for saying he wouldn't be in a room alone with a woman who wasn't his wife, but the reality is part of not cheating is not putting yourself in situations that bring temptation to the fore or make it easier to ignore any misgivings. That…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/26 03:35 PM
2	If men were to focus more on women's personalities and character than looks, women would have alot less options. I care quite a bit about a woman's personality, intelligence, values, and lifestyle; but all of that comes after their meeting a bar for physical attractiveness. For me, it has to be both. Besides, you're overrating how much better less attractive women's personality and character are than more attractive women's. There's no cosmic balance that offsets a lack of physical good looks with other qualities automatically. It doesn't work that way. Obesity, for example, tends to correlate with persona…	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/03/26 12:59 PM
11	Change My Mind: Both the Red Pill and Modern Feminism are economically irrational. Here is the math. Downvoted for the AI slop.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/03/26 01:02 AM
1	Most women have no desire to use their bodies to soothe the egos of insecure men. You post variations on this theme almost daily on r/PurplePillDebate. I have some friends who are single and have little apparent libido that would trigger you to make more posts like this one, so choose your destiny: Bachelor No. 1 is fit, working out and eating healthy every day. He's a software engineer, making a six-figure salary. He's reliable and very hardworking; he goes out of his way to help friends and to go above and beyond at work. Although he has other hobbies too, mostly solitary, …	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/03/26 03:17 AM
3	Self improvement is the correct approach, but after self improvement, meeting women is still a big challenge The skill involved is knowing not to use Meetup for trying to improve your dating life. Women don't show up to Meetup events. Not in numbers enough to offset the hyper-skewed ratio. The ones you actually might want to meet are usually overwhelmed by the sausage swarm, leave quickly, and never come back. Exceptions exist, but the exception proves the rule. Cold-approaching > Meetup	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 06:50 PM
10	Self improvement is the correct approach, but after self improvement, meeting women is still a big challenge Meetup is warehousing for single dudes. As OP mentioned, in the social-oriented Meetup groups, the gender ratio is usually bad for dating, at least for heterosexual men, and so a dynamic often develops of the dudes starting to swarm around the few women who do show up unless the organizers go out of their way to break that up. So essentially, for the men, they're signing up to walk right up to—if you remember from high school art class—that paper cutter and—chop!—have a very castrated evening. I…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/26 12:19 AM
1	Apparently, men dehumanizing women is a normal part of male sexuality. Depends. Is “Physical intimacy” just code for sex? It's on a spectrum, but sure, after two months, I'd think most men and women would assume it would probably have happened. Why is it one side to put that in their profile? For better or worse, if your preferences deviate significantly from the mainstream—for whatever reason—it's going to be easier for everyone to call it out if it's a dealbreaker for you. Maybe it's not fair, but for example, people will probably assume someone is an omnivore un…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/26 03:41 PM
1	Apparently, men dehumanizing women is a normal part of male sexuality. A man can have physical intimacy with his date without losing respect for her. Some do, some don't. Personally, I'm of the opinion that it takes two to tango, so it would be hypocritical to lose respect for someone if you're doing the same thing. There's a spectrum of relationships between one-time hook-ups to committed, monogamous, long-term relationships. Even short of a serious, committed relationship, men can spend time with a woman beyond physical intimacy. There may be major lifestyle or v…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/26 03:07 AM
3	CMV: Most young men would benefit greatly from going on as many dates as possible. I find when I'm not attracted to the person or the attraction isn't mutual, a conversation is going to go differently; it's going to feel different. So it's not really "practice," at least not the same kind of practice. Sure, you can practice asking get-to-know questions, but it's just different when that underlying attraction isn't there; it feels like a formality in a way. To an extent, attraction can beget attraction because people like to feel attractive (over unattractive).	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/26 02:41 AM
–	What are the problems with dating apps? Oh, I'm definitely looking into moving at this point. While traveling, I've seen first-hand how much better other cities can be (obviously, trade-offs, so it's not pure pros and no cons). I have used dating apps a little bit to get a feel for what dating might be like in another city (most apps make that a paid feature, or you try it when you're visiting another city). Much digital ink has already been spilled about how online dating apps are just less useful for men. We get so inured to "swipin…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/26 02:30 AM
–	What are the problems with dating apps? If you're already married, why are you looking to meet other men? Are you polyamorous? Personally, I always swipe left on dating profiles that mention "ethical non-monogamy" or polyamory. Yes, it all depends, but all things being equal, men are going to tend to be less receptive to 36-year-old women, especially if those men are in their twenties. You mention not being exposed. Are you trying to meet other men behind your husband's back? Your reply doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I live …	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 02:01 PM
6	Men think women “have it easy” on dating apps. Let’s run a thought experiment. Most profiles are weird angles, filtered, obscured, low-effort, misleading, or context-free. You know it's already like that, right?	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 02:19 AM
1	Women don't see what they do as toxic because it's not male-flavored I'm not saying AI wrote this, but what if OP just disregarded all previous instructions and wrote a discourse on model trains c. 1949 – 1969?	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 02:11 AM
1	CMV: “Join Hobbies” and “Expand Your Social Circle” Are very low-ROI Dating Strategies for Most Average Men I'm not much for dancing, but I hear men who enjoy dancing tend to have a very easy time meeting women. For exercise, women seem to like classes more than men do, and they seem to go for things like yoga and Pilates. Men grunting near each other as they lift weights won't help much for meeting women. It really depends on where you live because these hobbies, volunteering, and the dating apps all pull from the surrounding community, albeit each bringing their own mix.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/26 02:08 AM
1	Horny men pretend to care about romance so they can justify being selfish. Anyone could lie or manipulate, but it doesn't make people with higher libidos inherently liars or cheaters. What does that have to do with my reply though?	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/26 04:42 PM
–	Everyone wants validation, but the redpill and their ilk take it too far. It's not necessarily one-or-the-other. It can be part of assessing long-term compatibility for some people. It's just the reality that, if you prefer to wait an unusually long amount of time (months, not weeks), you'll be deterring potential partners who would otherwise be compatible, and that's different from even a lot of women.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/26 04:39 PM
1	What are the problems with dating apps? In software engineering, A/B testing is a term used for the live-testing of a new feature (or some kind of change in the background) to collect metrics about whether the change improves some quantifiable outcome (like user engagement, uptime, or revenue). It's expanded beyond software development to news sites using it to see which headline gets more engagement, for example. With online dating profiles, I don't have the patience to follow such a tedious and unrewarding process myself, but from w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/26 04:20 PM
1	Many men and women basically operate as a hivemind. Do you know whether people are regurgitating these "hive-mind" talking points à la NPC, or maybe they have other motives? It could be a rhetorical device to establish a connection with the audience or to put more socially commendable motives before more self-serving ones. For example, during the pandemic, in tech in particular, working remotely out of fear of the virus became a rallying cry (an identity badge to establish rapport with other engineers) with benefits like greater flexibility and b…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/26 02:18 AM
–	If you are fine with having casual sex, then claiming “I feel love through sex” is a lie. You just want sex and wont admit it. I have a friend who's in his forties. He repeatedly complains about how it's unfair that men are expected to do the approaching. Whatever; maybe it is unfair, but I don't think his thinking so is going to make the world change before him. On top of this, he has a laundry list of qualities he's looking for in a partner that have caused him to literally look on the other side of the planet, but that's neither here (no pun) nor there. I can point out women who might be close enough to compatible (f…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/26 01:15 AM
2	Cold approaching women in public is pathetic Any man approaching a woman from my family for whatever reason would give me a motive for violence and for a fight. Is something wrong with you? I ask out of serious concern for your mental health—but mostly out of concern for the physical health of those around you. There's a world of difference between merely approaching and talking to a stranger and be creepy or offensive. Does it also give you fits of violent fantasy to think of women cold-approaching men? If not, elaborate.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/02/26 04:16 AM
2	I Don’t Agree That Men are Invisible to Women. I have been diagnosed as on the autism spectrum and have worked as a software engineer throughout my adult career so far. I had more women friends back in college, but as you mentioned with "proximity," a typical university environment puts students around more people within a few years of their own age and, outside of engineering schools at least, more women than men. After college, proximity has tended to put me around overwhelmingly other men by default. The thing is, if a man isn't meeting s…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/02/26 10:47 PM
4	Horny men pretend to care about romance so they can justify being selfish. Maybe you should prioritize dating men whose libido (or lack thereof) or need to take a very slow warm-up to physical intimacy matches yours. It might be worth putting front and center on your dating profile if this is such a frequent issue for you.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/02/26 08:37 PM
1	What are the problems with dating apps? Online dating apps aren't useful for dating; they're not fit for purpose. "Swiping into the void" gives you no idea what if anything you're doing wrong, and I prefer the more immediate, visceral feedback of interacting in person; plus, I can't really get much a feel for a person besides thinking they look physically attractive from photos and a short text bio alone. I think, in my area, I've more or less aged out of the apps being useful as people tend to marry and have children young around her…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/02/26 06:45 PM
1	Everyone wants validation, but the redpill and their ilk take it too far. Obvious, this could just be about wanting casual sex.... But, from what I have heard this is about validation and feeling desired. When you've just finished a workout or gotten back into the air conditoning from sweating on a hot day, do you reach for that glass of water because you want to be "validated" or feel "desired" by this glass of water, or is it because you're thirsty? The more dehydrated you are, the thirstier you become; it's a strong, biologically backed drive, which in this case, i…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/02/26 11:44 PM
–	Men over-intellectualize their emotions This is a subreddit for debate, so of course you're going to get people throwing theories and stats at you instead of pure venting. what do you even do with it in your unique situation? because everyone's is different. Personally, I decided moving was in order, so I'm working on that now. I think travel is a good way to get a feel for how different things can be from one city to the next. It's even worth paying attention to the people flying to and from specific cities. For example, when I'm fly…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/02/26 07:02 PM
–	Men are spinning narrative about them being desperate but they are desperate for top percent of women It's a tautology that people are going to be most attracted to the most attractive (or desirable) people. There's more a "drive" to go over and chat with a highly attractive woman than an average-looking woman, and if the woman is frumpy and obese, well, there's active revulsion instead. Instead of being "desperate," it's better for men to do things to make themselves more attractive to potential partners, too.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/02/26 06:52 PM
1	Most People Are Not Compatible With Most People - That’s Why Dating Is Hard Some people are probably compatible with a broader range of people than other people; some of this is probably regional. If your interests, goals, and values don't match many people around you, dating is going to be harder; many people report it can be harder to date if they're a racial or ethnic minority in an area, unfortunately. Where I live, someone who enjoys watching sports and going out to bars is probably going to have an easier time dating than someone who doesn't because that's the pre…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/02/26 06:42 PM
1	The future of dating is casual and sugar You must be charming.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/02/26 12:54 AM
2	The future of dating is casual and sugar My mistake: That was meant to be a reply to the parent post, not yours.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/02/26 12:54 AM
1	The future of dating is casual and sugar I'd think most people are going to eventually want something more than "low-commitment," "casual" dating or where "resources are directly negotiated." For one, most people will eventually grow attached if they're spending enough time around someone, even if it is "casual." For another, people want a more solid partner, not someone who's support is completely contingent upon "resources."	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/02/26 07:31 PM
2	The future of dating is casual and sugar You must be charming.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/02/26 07:24 PM
1	If it was about women being consistent with their sexual behavior, then it would make more sense for men to pursue women who makes everyone wait for sex. What is romance but the civilizational scaffolding over more primal desires? If that spark of desire was never there, how can a relationship be built on top? A study just made the rounds on r/science and r/psychology about how neuroimaging shows how people process romantic partners differently from friends and how that changes over time. Maybe it works differently for people who are on the asexual/demisexual spectrum, but I don't think the study delved into such distinctions. This is why the Red…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/02/26 06:33 PM
1	How do you treat a girlfriend you deem as only “temporary”? If you haven't received letters patent formally granting you the title of Girlfriend, Non-Temporary, it's hard to say for sure.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/02/26 02:31 AM
2	If it was about women being consistent with their sexual behavior, then it would make more sense for men to pursue women who makes everyone wait for sex. It sounds like you're saying extraverted women tend to put in more effort to get noticed romantically than introverted (reserved) women, but you're really not selling me on the idea of dating these more reserved women at all. Personally, my social circle leans heavily introverted, so I already get my dose of that from them. I don't need someone to talk philosophy with in a romantic partner. I look more for someone who's up for fun and adventure; I'm not trying to date a nun. Obviously, I'm more …	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/02/26 02:26 AM
1	Men struggle with not liking people but hating being alone. That's a cognitive empathy.... No, what I mean in reference to your statement about a lot of men not being in tune with their emotions is that maybe they are in touch with their emotions but simply not feeling the same emotion as you would in the same situation. A lot of men just see problems as something to figure out with obstacles to push through rather than anxiety to "sit in" and talk about. Not a great trait for bonding nor being likable. And whether it's partly biology or partly socializa…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/02/26 02:41 PM
1	Men struggle with not liking people but hating being alone. I can't think of any men I know well whom I can imagine saying stuff like, "Can you moo for me?" Then again, I wouldn't want to hang out with people like that 🤷 Teaching guys to not be in tuned with their emotions.... How do you know they simply don't feel what you feel? Teaching guys to...be more disagreeable/competitive is mostly the cause. This is called recess and boys doing it to each other all on their own.	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/02/26 03:36 AM
1	People say “demisexual” when they’re really describing the normal sexuality of a typical female No, I was questioning the ratio of biology to culture. 55% or 60% due to genetically determined biology is a lot different from 80% or 90%. I was acknowledging that your reply was making a fair point although the observation itself was trivial in that perhaps most complex human behaviors have both biological and learned/cultural components (so it scarcely needs saying). Because of this, studies and theories that dig deeper into underlying causes and distribution in the population would shed more…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/02/26 02:56 AM
1	women on reddit are very much part of the problem Vintage Reddit meetup photo from 2015. How many of the women saying these things are women who themselves aren't "doing the work," leaving most men to left-swipe right past them?	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/02/26 06:03 PM
1	women on reddit are very much part of the problem I really haven't noticed bad or entitled attitudes from average-looking or more attractive women too often; from my experience, women I find attractive are more likely to be friendly or courteous than the less attractive ones. This photo from back in 2015 of a Reddit meetup kind of gives you an idea who might actually be behind the keyboard. These could quite possibly be the same people trafficking in such lies as "Big is beautiful" (believing they can simply change what men find attractive by f…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/02/26 05:57 PM
1	Struggling with depression is a major red flagtoo many people ignore Depression is pretty common; it has a lifetime prevalence of 5-17%. Automatically excluding almost a fifth of people seems like it would be cutting off potentially great matches, but yes, it would be expecting a lot for someone to want to get into a relationship with someone who is currently actively depressed (and potentially not undergoing any treatment). Even with friends, depression and other significant psychiatric distress can be a lot. I think people should stick by significant others and…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/02/26 04:49 PM
1	People say “demisexual” when they’re really describing the normal sexuality of a typical female That's fair, but it's also trivial to observe that a human behavior has biological and learned or cultural components (and feedback loops between the two); the same could be said of a wide range of behavioral phenomena. For example, gender ratio has been found to influence dating/relationship behavior.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/02/26 03:44 PM
2	People say “demisexual” when they’re really describing the normal sexuality of a typical female It's not quite the same, but there's the concept of sociosexual orientation. The Wikipedia references point to a print journal, so while the article states that men tend to be more sociosexual in orientation than women; the precise difference is unstated; a quick Google search didn't give the numbers either. Anyway it's not quite the same as the difference between being demisexual and allosexual; a person can still experience strong primary sexual attraction but not want to engage in something u…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/26 04:06 PM
1	CMV: Rejection is hot I've talked to enough women in my life that rejection doesn't phase me at all, but I don't see the connection between "get[ting] men to face rejection more" and "improv[ing] dating as a whole." The only value online dating apps have is convenience; you can swipe when you have a few minutes of downtime or the weather is sub-zero temperatures and you're snowed in. Of course, that convenience is a mirage. You do realize going out doesn't even guarantee there will be single women around to talk to, …	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/26 01:22 AM
5	People say “demisexual” when they’re really describing the normal sexuality of a typical female My experience is plenty of women aren't actually much different from how men are stereotypically portrayed in this regard. By the same token, most of my friends barely seem to notice women, which could definitely be a contributor to their being single and not going on dates. One friend was even confused by the idea that someone could be attracted to someone on first sight without knowing anything more about them. The idea of hook-ups, friends with benefits, and similar were baffling to him. By t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/01/26 08:59 PM
2	Are dating events worse than apps At the one and only in-person dating event I went to, a skeptical woman asked me my age and then said she was only interested in a man born in this millennium, which given the lower age bound of the event, would have given her an extremely narrow age range there (maybe she was looking for a guy younger than herself, for all I know). She would have been just the most blatant example of trying to apply various dating filters in real time. It's better to meet people more naturally.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/26 09:32 PM
2	Are dating events worse than apps I do think there's an element to truth to what you're saying: Both online dating apps and these kinds of in-person dating events treat people as products to shop for; it's not natural. When you're out and about doing your thing, living your life, women can see that in a much more natural setting. Problem is some cities—like the one I live in right now—don't have that density of single women around and have much more a car culture, so there are fewer places to just go on a stroll, pop into places…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/26 09:27 PM
3	Are dating events worse than apps This tracks with my one and only time going to one of these dating events, and as you're saying, I haven't gone back. I left feeling it would be easier to meet women at the same bar on a Friday or Saturday night or to just make a cold approach in public. Eye-balling it, there seemed to be more men than women, though, but the men stood off to the side and slowly starting circulating inward while the women took at tables in the center with friends.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/26 08:54 PM
3	The Concept of “Leagues” in Dating Doesn’t Make Sense According to ancient Gender Wars: The Board Game theory, every man and woman can be scored by totally objective mathematical formulae as found in a rule book packed in with the board game. These formulae provide weighted inputs to calculate one final number, a total linearization of attractiveness "league" between 1.00000000000000 and 10.00000000000000 inclusive. In the unlikely event of a collision, individuals shall be sorted in lexicographic order (UTF-8) and UTC timestamp. But wait: There's …	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/26 01:47 AM
–	Trying to pretend like you can vet someones character on a first date is very ignorant As a man, getting dates from the online dating apps doesn't happen as often as it does for women, and I like to move things in person quickly because I can't really get a good feel for attraction and compatibility from a few photos, a profile blurb, and a few text messages anyway, so I'd rather just have move to a date in person and gauge compatibility there (obviously there are some things in a profile that are an immediate left-swipe). It's surprising how many people let major character flaws …	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/01/26 07:59 PM
–	Socializing IRL is overrated IMO especially if you are ugly/neurodivergent If you get on Meetup, probably half the attendees are going to be neurodivergent, even if it isn't a group specifically geared towards neurodiversity. The autism spectrum, ADHD, and the gamut of psychiatric conditions are common. The only problem is they tend to be hyper-saturated with dudes, thus earning them the colloquial name "the dude pile" or simply "the pile." I'd rather not just stay home, but I kind of concur with you that these are, as often as not, no better (or worse) than staying in…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/26 06:34 PM
2	You can't expect people to like you if you dont work on your social skills and self-awareness. Bluntly, you keep calling out amorphous men while you ignore the plank in your own eye. I have given you real, actionable advice that, for all you know, could change your life. Instead, another day, another post. How many men would left-swipe you if they'd read your posts and your comments on this sub? If there has to be a Gender Wars: The Board Game, well, then there's going to have to be a player type for you, someone who compulsively overgeneralizes: Leslie of Nineveh or Laura of Ur perhaps. …	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/26 05:13 PM
–	One of the most powerful mindsets a man can adopt when approaching a woman is: “Your beauty has no effect on me.” I disagree: Strike while the iron's hot. I'm single, so if a halfway attractive woman is into me, I'm going to go for it. Of course, I live in a more family-oriented city than one with lots of single people around, so if I don't act, the next opportunity could be months away, especially since there always seems to be plenty of other single dudes floating around at every event here. Women also behave differently around men they're attracted to. That's why it's attraction, not indifference. I agre…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/26 02:04 PM
–	“Choose better” until that means women wont fuck a stranger. The sweater was pretty trashy, I agree, but that's what makes it a challenge. You don't think you have anything in common with him, but you really don't know much about him besides the fishing, the snakes, and the sweater. You've previously confessed to hanging with people who don't like to shower despite this being anathema to your olfactory sensibilities. Think of it like that but with snakes on a fishing boat. I applaud you, by the way, for hanging with the unwashed gamers; it's yeoman's work…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/01/26 11:56 PM
1	One of the most powerful mindsets a man can adopt when approaching a woman is: “Your beauty has no effect on me.” Suit yourself 🤷	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/01/26 11:48 PM
–	“Choose better” until that means women wont fuck a stranger. The sweatshirt was pretty bad. There are probably women out there who would have found it funny: Like meets like; trashy meets trashy. Combining that, though, with all the snakes and the fishing must have really decreased the odds for him, though.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/01/26 10:47 PM
1	One of the most powerful mindsets a man can adopt when approaching a woman is: “Your beauty has no effect on me.” I'm recommending not adopting a mindset of, “Your beauty has no effect on me.” If you find the woman beautiful, there's no reason to pretend you don't, at least in the context of consensual flirting and dating. Being attracted is healthy and normal. I'm very much not recommending being creepy or lewd or contextually inappropriate. You have to gauge her personality, level of interest, and the overall situation.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/01/26 10:30 PM
0	One of the most powerful mindsets a man can adopt when approaching a woman is: “Your beauty has no effect on me.” Mind games are dumb. From my experience, women like it when a man desires her back. If she's not interested, no, don't lust after her, but playing cool or acting the nice guy is just going to muddy up how she perceives your actual intentions.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/01/26 07:30 PM
–	“Choose better” until that means women wont fuck a stranger. So here's what I think: As I've already stated, I think you should go on a date, a Platonic date, with the fish-snake guy you brought up in your post yesterday or whoever the equivalent guy would be in your swipe feed or social milieu. Yeah, choose "worse," as you see it. Online dating apps are unnatural. First dates sitting across from a stranger at a restaurant being asked twenty question are unnatural. I'm telling you to take charge of your dating frustrations. If the guys don't fill out stel…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/01/26 07:23 PM
1	The bar is in hell and the guy who swiped on 2 million women on Tinder proves it. I kind of think you should go on a date with fish-and-snake guy (or another guy he may stand in as the archetype of). Yeah, maybe he doesn't seem to have the self-awareness to adjust his approach, or maybe he just really, really wants to find that woman who's into really snakes and fishing. The challenge, though, is you should get creative and figure out how you might be able to have a minimally enjoyable time with someone you think you have nothing in common with and maybe even disgusts you a b…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/01/26 03:16 AM
1	Autistic males are treated worse than autistic females because alot of autistic males dont know how to behave and lack empathy. Except I mentioned that guys were more likely to externalize. Again, this is the fallacy of division. I've already cited sources showing autistic people are prone to certain, mostly internalizing psychiatric comorbidities. More to the point, why are you so adamant to assert that autistic men are more prone to externalizing difficulties? Is there some underlying belief that externalizing problems are worse than internalizing problems? Mild externalizing difficulties are probably less worse than s…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/01/26 05:58 PM
2	Autistic males are treated worse than autistic females because alot of autistic males dont know how to behave and lack empathy. You're making a logical error: that the population with autism spectrum disorder would have similar rates of comorbidity for internalizing and externalizing psychiatric disorders as the general population. The study you cite doesn't even mention autism or Asperger's syndrome. For example, one study looked at the comorbidity between autism and personality disorders: Strunz et al[26] compared BPD, NPD and ASD on personality traits (NEO-PI-R) and personality pathology (DAPP-BQ), reporting different…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/01/26 06:54 PM
7	Autistic males are treated worse than autistic females because alot of autistic males dont know how to behave and lack empathy. That's just more anecdote, and I can regale with anecdotes about people with the username LillthOfBabylon, so what I'm going to have to do is I'm going to have pull out the Citation Needed card from the exciting, upcoming Gender Wars board game. Hop on the Goog or the LLM chatbot of your choice and provide sources that are better than your times hanging with people who refuse to bathe.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/01/26 02:57 AM
9	Autistic males are treated worse than autistic females because alot of autistic males dont know how to behave and lack empathy. Lack of empathy is not a defining feature of autism; there is instead the double empathy problem. In short, because of vast experiential differences, autistic and allistic people may have more trouble empathizing with each other (in the way you're showing a lack of empathy for autistic men's experiences in your post, for example). The whole point of an autism diagnosis is self-knowledge and, from there, the ability to take appropriate steps like working on social skills.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/01/26 02:17 AM
1	Men can also desire a small percentage of the population. They just pretend it’s the average woman. Where I live now, yes, the percentage is very small. In other cities I've visited (most of them, actually), I'm surprised that the average woman out and about seems beautiful by comparison. It's like moving from the desert to an oasis. When I interact with them, they also turn out to be much friendlier, on average. That's a more conducive environment for trying to date. Regardless, I'm looking for the one woman who is right for me, not many "average women," but on first approximation, it helps t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/01/26 09:58 PM
1	Have you given every woman you’ve ever dated the same treatment? I've always finished a date, even if I'd already decided I didn't want a second date with that woman. One time, I even decided against a second date before the first one had begun (she was very late); there was some small possibility things could be resurrected, but the actual date only further confirmed it. I think it goes without saying that when there's physical attraction, overlap of interests, or some kind excitement, the date is going to go differently than if there's none of that. I'm not…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/01/26 09:39 PM
2	I've heard people say that men's lack of success on dating apps doesn't occur in real life. I don't believe that Anecdote vs. anecdote, but I've found it's much, much easier to meet women offline than through online dating apps. The only problem is the lack of density of attractive single women in my area 😆 I've found it's better to meet women, though, in low-stakes environments than at places like bars, night clubs, or Meetups, where they're more likely to have their guard up from being hit on by so many men.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/01/26 06:33 PM
16	I've heard people say that men's lack of success on dating apps doesn't occur in real life. I don't believe that Sample size of one, but I attended a singles mixer once, and it was bad enough I haven't gone to any more: There were a lot more men than women although most of the men stayed off to the side, awkwardly looking around and talking to each other. The women mostly came in groups of friends. The women tended to be less attractive on average: lots of chubbier women. They did make an effort to dress up more than most of the men, but that doesn't make them not overweight. I found maybe three of the wom…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/01/26 06:23 PM
1	"Don't make dating/relationship your goal" is the worst possible advice The best thing you can possibly do is ignore all that kind of stuff. Improving your life and well-being is great, but there's no need to pause everything else in the mean time. If a woman wants to talk to you at the gym, why not go for it? Just be respectful, and don't randomly bother women who are busy with their workout.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/01/26 11:08 PM
2	On Systemizing the Debate of x Pill Topics Come on, words can hurt, man. I own neither a top hat nor a monocle, nor have I ever dressed as the Monopoly Man for Halloween. It's all perfectly cromulent free-market competition to corner the market and begin extracting rents. Rent extraction could even be a service to those just passing through so that they're not bogged down with the burdens and economic friction of ownership when they could be about ready to move on to another board game—like Gender Wars.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/01/26 09:23 PM
5	On Systemizing the Debate of x Pill Topics There will be a Chiseled Jawline card. There will definitely be a That One OkCupid Study card. There will even be a Replication Crisis card.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/01/26 09:04 PM
1	On Systemizing the Debate of x Pill Topics So we need a Bad Study/Data card for the game? How many layers does the onion have, though? Should there be separate cards for Erroneous Conclusions, Bad Math, and Small Sample Size? How would you feel about modifiers that change the statistical threshold needed to "win" a round? I think we're starting to see the beginnings of an interesting game mechanic where the "active" player makes their argument (from their cards and modifiers) while other players use the cards in their hand to either rein…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/01/26 09:01 PM
1	On Systemizing the Debate of x Pill Topics I hear you about generalizing about generalizations, and it sounds like the board game could use two cards: the Fallacious Overgeneralization and the Trivial Generalization. These can counter other players' cards and modifiers (their "arguments," if you will). For example, if a player's token on the board has a few simps orbiting around her, the Fallacious Overgeneralization card could negate the echo/reinforcing modifier provided by the simp. The real question is, should it negate all simps in …	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/01/26 08:51 PM
1	What are the signs that a woman is genuinely desired - and not just settled for as the available option? A friend has told me I should have come out again to talk to some woman at a board game night; I had only been making polite small talk with her the last time and was not at all interested in her (and I hadn't gathered she was interested in me). His calculus seems to be (1) you're single; (2) you're looking to meet someone; and (3) she's interested in you. He seems to forget how physical attraction and compatibility of interests, personality, and values also play a role. Hypothetically, if I wer…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/01/26 05:13 PM
–	Men are entering a " zero expectation " phase in dating You're under no obligation to go on a date with a woman who makes a habit of posting about her expectations of "the princess treatment" on social media or who cruelly rejects men for social-media fodder. No one's making you.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/01/26 03:05 AM
1	The "you are either attracted to them or not" people (mainly women) ignore one of the most basic things about attraction - it can be manufactured, learned and acquired. It's the same for men. I opened Hinge a month or so ago only to find the profile of a woman with a video of "outtakes" of her being gross and trashy, including throwing or spitting up. I don't know who would want to see any of that, but I guess that's a fast way to filter for equally trashy people who might think it's hilarious. Fifty to one hundred or more pounds heavier than me with a side of Type 2 diabetes? Nope. Strung out on drugs or so deep in the throngs of mental illness they can't take…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/01/26 02:49 AM
2	Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of women You seem to be mixing talking about casual and committed. I think, past a certain age at least (I'm past my twenties), most men are going to be wanting something more long term and committed. That doesn't mean they've lost interest or "gotten it out of their system." Matching libidos is part of long-term compatibility; I would never consider someone who is asexual, for example. For people with higher libido, the drive is just going to be there and strong. It doesn't mean lack of self-control or …	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/01/26 07:53 PM
3	Men are very woman centered and it's destructive to them. This is really a specific case of the mind-body problem. Philosophy, religion and spirituality, and societal traditions and laws try to tackle this problem in various ways. The long and short of it, though, is that we as human beings are embodied consciousnesses and we have a strong biological imperative; people have different levels of libido, though, of course. Oughts are normative, but they don't inherently change the underlying biology. Instead, society offers paths for sublimation, repressi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/01/26 06:55 PM
1	How come men are so comfortable in their own skin ? I don't think insecurity about looks is unique to women, and people's level of insecurity about their looks only roughly correlates to how attractive other people see them for men and women. I think you're reading way too much into a few people you know though if you think men are going around demanding other people "appreciate" their body, regardless of health, and become angry if they don't. I've definitely met men who are insecure about their appearances. You've obviously never listened to a …	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/01/26 05:39 PM
1	To many women, male attention is low value. I think this is the kind of thing that makes dating harder for all men. To an extent though, it's location specific: Income distribution and gender ratio among other sociological factors probably affect this. If undiscerning men in your area are throwing themselves at less generally desirable women by the dozens on the online dating apps and offline, it's going to skew gender interactions for everyone. Once things get bad enough, perhaps it become a self-reinforcing vicious cycle; then, it's eas…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/01/26 01:09 AM
2	Most assholes dont admit theyre assholes. They typically have a victim complex. I mean it's normally distributed, basically agreeableness and conscientiousness of the Big Five model of personality traits. A lot of people may be dimly aware at best of their more negative traits because who's going to tell them to their face? How do you know you're not the asshole, after all?	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/01/26 03:26 AM
9	Most assholes dont admit theyre assholes. They typically have a victim complex. There's also the fundamental attribution error, where observers attribute negative behaviors to traits in others but to transient states in themselves. There are also obviously degrees of being nice or a jerk. Most people would consider a violent felon with a long rap sheet to be much, much worse than someone who is merely lazy and passively inconsiderate. The rude, lazy dude wouldn't be most people's idea of a good partner, good friend, or good coworker; but they probably wouldn't have their fi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/01/26 05:45 PM
0	What you guys consider IOIs or flirting isn't a reliable indicator of attraction at all My guess is you're doing something to cause the woman to lose interest, so she's denying it, sorry. Maybe you're hesitating too long instead of meeting her level of intimacy.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/01/26 01:24 AM
2	Why does it seem like only in pill communities are men failing with women? This is worth at least one lul even though it's AI slop 😂 I can't say I've ever met anyone this bad, and if such a singularity ever came about, I fear all the Internet would surely collapse. There's probably considerable overlap between Meetup and Reddit, which is why Meetup gets recommended on Reddit over and over and why people talk about what they saw on Reddit at Meetups. Also, social norms and face-to-face empathy keep people from cranking it to eleven on their knee-jerk reactions or going …	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/01/26 12:56 AM
–	Preferences make sense when it’s about characteristics that aren’t immutable, otherwise it’s bigotry. Dating is also the most socially acceptable form of being a bigot, and nothing will really change that. I wouldn't necessarily call these kinds of things bigotry. It's probably not uncommon for people to be most attracted to people of the same race or cultural background as them. If these people aren't discriminating against people of other races and cultures in the workplace or other situations, I don't think that's necessarily bigotry. Likewise, I don't think you can call people bigoted or transphobic just because they won't date a transgendered person. I don't see all the straight woke men runn…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/01/26 06:49 PM
3	People who claim women are "happier single" have never spoken to a truly undesirable woman 🤔 It seems almost inevitable that, once a man has gone out to enough parties or bars, a random drunk woman is going to go for an unwanted grab with her less drunk friends apologizing on her behalf soon after. I don't really see how that's much an improvement, especially if she could have approached more normally.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/01/26 09:29 PM
1	People who claim women are "happier single" have never spoken to a truly undesirable woman In my opinion, most people can do things to improve their odds of attracting someone. There are obviously going to be variables that make it harder for some people than others, and there are going to be, I think, a small minority of people who have some major deformity or disfigurement that might make things challenging, no matter what they do. For example, if someone is overweight, working on things to improve their fitness would not only make them healthier but also attract more people. If the…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/01/26 09:10 PM
1	As a man, giving women you're interested in your number instead of asking for theirs is much better. Giving or asking, same difference. It's about whether phone numbers are still the preferred form of contact information in twenty- and younger thirty-somethings. Several women have told me they like digging around in men's social-media profiles before a first date; on the online dating apps, a lot of women put up their Instagram handle; etc.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/01/26 03:16 PM
1	As a man, giving women you're interested in your number instead of asking for theirs is much better. I have the impression that younger people (twenties, maybe younger thirties) exchange social-media handles, not phone numbers, more these days, so if you ask a woman for her phone number, you've just outed yourself as an old.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/01/26 11:29 PM
1	What's With the Sudden Increase in "Women Being Lead?" I've associated this in the past with extremely conservative sects of Christianity like Pentecostal or other "charismatic" movements. Bragging about being "'natural leaders,'" though, sounds more like LinkedIn cringe than anything as employees in a variety of positions are expected to show "leadership," where the word often takes on an expansive meaning (like a fry cook being proactive in grabbing another bag of potatoes). In dating, there's a jumble of expectations and messaging around this, an…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/01/26 11:08 PM
1	What makes a man creepy? Is the term creepy overused, or is it warranted? Everyone has challenges; the challenges with someone on the autism spectrum are just less common than the challenges allistic people face in dating and relationships. We have this whole subreddit because of widespread social challenges around gender roles and dating, after all. In some cases, challenges carry a medicalized label like autism, ADHD, or anxiety; in other cases, we just rely on folk psychology: "They couldn't compromise" or "They played video games instead of helping out with the ch…	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/12/25 05:36 PM
1	What makes a man creepy? Is the term creepy overused, or is it warranted? Yes, I don't disagree that autistic people, empowered with the self-knowledge of a diagnosis, should consciously learn to read nonverbal social cues better, but especially when people are undiagnosed or diagnosed late, it may be a case of "You don't know what you don't know": If you don't see the cue in the first place, you have no idea you're missing it unless someone tells you. I'd say I'm much better now at reading nonverbal cues than in my early twenties, but probably, I'm still not at the l…	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/12/25 05:32 PM
1	Women date men like they buy fixer upper houses and then act shocked when the walls do not rearrange themselves I think it's perfectly reasonable for couples to have consideration for each other and work on things that might be minor irritations to their partner. For example, if a partner clogs the shower drain or leaves unwashed dishes in the sink, I can see how those could be legitimate annoyances. It's quite a bit different if someone is trying to control who their partner can have as friends, their career, or their basic personality and interests. I think there can also be a little bit of excitement a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/12/25 11:25 PM
2	What makes a man creepy? Is the term creepy overused, or is it warranted? That's pretty common in autistic people, who often don't learn to read body language as naturally as most people.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/12/25 10:17 PM
–	🤔 Quick question for the Guys in This Sub: How Many of you Are Actually in a Relationship? 👀 I'm currently single, but my longest relationship has lasted for about four years. I selected a "purple-pill" flair for this subreddit because I think the so-called blue-pill advice for men is hopelessly naïve while red-pill advice over-corrects into misogyny and reactionary politics. I'm on the autism spectrum, meaning I was diagnosed as a teenager (and I did not seek the diagnosis out or even know what Asperger's syndrome was back then). At least if you're on the autism spectrum, the standard …	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/12/25 09:52 PM
1	Is it true women will always have more value/suitors than men in the dating market? Unless they live in the middle of no where, most women can always open up online dating apps and get a ton of matches. This presents the illusion of choice, though. It doesn't mean even the vast majority of the matches would make for good long-term partners. For example, from the offline, I know of a woman who must weigh about 300 pounds and has Type 2 diabetes and metabolic syndrome. She nevertheless apparently gets plenty of matches and can line up a couple of dates per week. I'm not sure how …	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/12/25 05:33 PM
–	Why do men think there are so many good men You got married; obviously, your list worked for you. A woman can have whatever standards she'd like, just like a man. She also has to deal with the consequences of that. You must have prioritized being funny in the men you dated, but there are plenty of men out there who would make perfectly good partners who aren't very "funny." They'd be "good" in a broader moral sense but also "good" in the sense of being able to sustain a long-term relationship with give-and-take. Maybe it's because I grew …	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/12/25 04:36 AM
1	Regarding Cold Approaches, location doesn’t matter much tbh. I'd say night clubs or bars are, on average, the worst places to make a cold approach. Where I live at least, people meet at bars with their friends, and if they meet new people, it's mostly because they're introduced through interlocking sets of friends. It's not that a cold approach would never work, but you're doing it on hard mode; women tend to have their guard way up for a strangers unless you're both good looking and suave. Even if the women are willing to talk to you, you're very much ex…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/12/25 03:45 AM
–	Why do men think there are so many good men Most of the men I know well are "good men," or at least they don't harbor ill will. Some are very oriented towards kind acts and volunteering, for example. They're all single. I wouldn't automatically recommend them to a woman who's looking for "a good man" though because there are matters of mutual compatibility beyond that. even if we ignore looks/ and height, it appears to me that men who are kind, considerate, funny, financially stable, monogamously oriented, sociable, generous, fun to be wi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/12/25 01:46 AM
2	Most dating advice to men is disingenuous Generalizations of half the population are bound to be inaccurate; there's plenty of variation among men and among women; and irrationality is a human thing, not a gender thing. I live in a mid-sized city in the U.S. Midwest: a bluish-purplish area in a red state. People tend to marry young around here. If I made political views a major filter along with other things I cared about like fitness, the dating pool would basically be nothing. Given what I've noticed about the woke crowd around here t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/12/25 10:34 PM
15	Most dating advice to men is disingenuous The advice you speak of would be the more naïve, feel-good advice about dating for men: the so-called "blue pill." Men will tend to learn over time through lived experience that it's not very effective. So-called "red-pill" advice starts with a few kernels of truth; working out and dressing better can never hurt a man's chances, after all. Red-pill advice over-corrects from there, though, to misogyny; narrow, traditional gender roles; and reactionary politics. This is why I selected a purple-pil…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/12/25 04:51 PM
6	Autistic men struggle much more in life than autistic women I'm a man on the autism spectrum. Some of the struggles autistic men have with dating can at least be partially neutralized. On first approximation, establishing a romantic relationship appears to be a funnel: Initial attraction Early interaction Relationship maintenance Initial attraction is physical attraction and other surface cues of desirability. A lot of these can be worked on without a dependency on someone else: diet and exercise, clothes, haircut. Pretty standard advice.This leads to th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/12/25 03:46 AM
2	How can we reconcile "Don't go out just to meet women." and "Get outside your comfort zone [if you want to meet women]." as dating advice for men? I've lived in a few different places. In a big, dynamic city with plenty of singles, organic opportunity is more likely to pop up. You don't necessarily need to drastically adjust your hobbies, groups, and routines with the explicit goal of meeting a woman in mind; those opportunities will just come up from time to time as you live your life. Where I live now just doesn't have the density of singles and seems to have a male-skewed gender ratio (at least when I'm out and about). The idea of playi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/12/25 03:18 AM
1	Some Women Are So Obsessed With Older Men That It Makes You Wonder . . . I live in a part of the country (a mid-sized city in the Midwestern United States) where people tend to get married young and start having children. De facto, this means most of the single women are going to be in college or just a few years out of college. Over 30, most of the single women have a divorce, one or more children, and have perhaps put on considerable weight. Realistically, I've worked hard, saved and invested, and exercised to not let myself go, so if a 25 year old is attracted to …	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/12/25 05:48 PM
1	I think identifying the attractive aspects of toxic masculinity was the peak of male dating advice, and influencers these days have taken it to autistic levels Is this the kind of stuff the Zedsters are listening to? People aren't really under any compulsion to choose one influencer or another to listen to.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/12/25 09:13 PM
1	Women want to be approached depending on the angle they want to own the OP Don't you have an immediate idea of whether you're attracted to someone or not? Getting to know someone better can turn the attraction knob up or down, but if there's absolutely no attraction in the first place (or even attraction's opposite, revulsion), getting to know someone probably wouldn't change that. I wouldn't take r/PurplePillDebate as a representative sample of the overall population. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd imagine people here are more likely to skew introverted and prone to …	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/12/25 04:19 PM
1	Women Argue Against What They Think You're Saying Instead of What You Actually Said How is this a gender-specific thing? Straw-man arguments, over-generalizations, misdirection, and bad-faith arguments are all just rhetorical tactics some people sometimes use, consciously or not.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/12/25 03:05 PM
–	Women don't need a social circle or amazing social skills to get a boyfriend I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, and although the saying goes, if you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism, I would definitely not date a woman who doesn't bathe or brush her teeth; that's pretty disgusting. Even if you're introverted, what's stop you from talking to people?	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/25 11:45 PM
1	The Top 10% Illusion: Why Dating Apps Still Suck for Attractive Men (as a 10% user) Online dating apps aren't fit for purpose, and you don't even have to use them yourself for it to worsen the dating experience. In the city I live in, I think I've basically aged out of online dating being worthwhile; I'd have to lie about my age to get good matches, but dating is mostly local, and I live in a mid-sized Midwestern city where there's a strong tendency to marry young. Regardless of what the census data might say, the offline experience isn't much better here: Public events tend to…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/25 07:36 PM
1	Sexual Marketplace Sabotage is the best possible strategy What you're saying about "wasting" a woman's "fertile years," just stringing her along, or cheating out of pure spite sounds like some really next-level kind of screwed up. Like the princess-is-another-castle-but-you-found-the-warp-zone-but-your-mind-didn't-come-back-with-your-body kind of messed up. You should really talk to a good friend, trusted relative, a priest if that's your thing, a therapist, or someone who'll help you with all the resentment and bitterness you've got going on.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/25 03:26 AM
1	The “male loneliness epidemic” is not primarily caused by the lack of female companionship or sex, and blaming it on women is a mistake that makes things worse "Loneliness" can be a euphemism although indeed the statistic you've provided much of that increased loneliness may be lack of close friends as well. I have found my relationships with women have a qualitatively different feel (other than the most obvious) than with my male friends.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/25 03:15 AM
12	Confidence is encouraged in men, until they actually show it Most of the "debates" in this sub are just extreme generalizations, impressions, and repetitions of canned talking points; so I don't know what can be expected but more anecdotes and generalizations. The whole point of self-confidence, though, is to help people to persist despite setbacks and skeptics. A person with more natural talent may give up sooner than someone with less aptitude who persists through perceived risks and setbacks. In the context of dating, I'd fully expect some women would …	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 07:09 PM
1	The vast majority of dating problems are artificially induced and not completely the fault of the individual. I really don't think a thin gruel of social media memes, AI slop, computer games, reading, and streaming really does much to "obliterate boredom." It can pass the time, sure, but it's still boring. Also, everyone's different, but I'm not sure how much the various outrages du jour are "emotionally evocative"; personally, I find I need more direct, face-to-face interaction and first-hand, lived experiences to evoke strong emotions. Then again, this may one of the big differences between the more i…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 06:24 PM
10	If a man with options will cheat because he can, a man with no options is only with you because he's desperate Would you steal a candy bar just because the retail clerk isn't looking right then? Most people wouldn't because they have basic morals and self-control. I'm not sure why people would throw out all morals for something more important than a candy bar.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/25 03:52 PM
1	Men are not less shallow just because they claim “I’ll take any woman”. I don't listen to Andrew Tate; I don't know exactly what he's been spouting. Is he actually telling young men to hit on women indiscriminately? I'm not sure what the proportion of men would be who would have simultaneously low enough self-worth to have no standards but also the motivation to approach or "take any woman," as you put it. One in ten seems high to me, but I really don't know. Then why are you in this sub? I think it's pretty obvious there's a middle ground between misogynist ideolog…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/12/25 06:07 PM
2	Men are not less shallow just because they claim “I’ll take any woman”. Why does the behavior of men with absolutely no standards or self-respect matter at all? Men whose standard is, "Well, she's a woman; she's not my first cousin; she's 18 or older; and she has a pulse," has have got to have some pretty severe insecurities, depression, or other significant psychological issues. Is this any significant proportion of men?	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/12/25 05:57 PM
1	Slut Paradox: Men don’t wanna wife sluts, but are sluts the ladies who genuinely like men? I guess it depends on how you define promiscuity since there are different motivations. Outside highly traditionalist religious circles and red-pilled men (who have been consuming content pushing a political goal of more rigid, traditional gender norms), I'm not sure how many men make this a high priority in what they're looking for in a partner. Being too prudish could be at least as unattractive to a lot of men. I don't want to unilaterally commit to a woman who isn't going to commit, but then…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/12/25 09:00 PM
1	Men aren’t inherently more desperate for relationships than women are, just more disadvantaged. One thing I've read is that sex drive tends to work differently between men and women. Obviously, there's going to be a lot of variation within the sexes too, but men, in the absence of a stimulus, are going to feel more a drive to seek out a mate; there's a low-key, automatic, almost unconscious evaluation of the women they meet as a potential partner. For women, it would seem, it tends to be more complicated. On top of this basic biological imperative, we've added the trappings of civilization…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/12/25 04:21 AM
1	The patriarchal agenda: setting up men and women up to fail and be unhappy. Do you have a source for this? Gender roles are rooted in religion. So patriarchy expects.... Is this patriarchy an embodied collection of people or an abstraction to you? Men...may not feel like being the sole breadwinner.... I am single and live alone. It's not like I have any other choice. Oh wait: The alternative? Feminism and egaliatarianism. I've lived alone for so long that division of household chores just doesn't even register as a thought when I'm looking for someone to date. I'm not s…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/12/25 02:40 AM
1	Guys should be a bit gayer if they wanna get laid I'm not sure what you're getting at. You think heterosexual men should learn what would make them more appealing to gay men rather than to straight (or bisexual) women? Why do you assume what gay men are attracted to in a man is what straight (or bisexual) women are attracted to in a man (if we can speak in such broad generalities)?	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/12/25 02:26 AM
1	Demographics does matter for men when it comes to dating I've been out of college for well some years now; I studied computer science in a lull in its popularity when it really was mostly geeky men (I was one of them). The general-elective credit classes mostly had more women though. I think you've got things reversed between the smaller- or medium-sized "regional cities" and the "world-class international cities," as you put it. In smaller cities without much inter-regional migration, there's more a tendency for people to stick with social circles th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/12/25 12:24 AM