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mdjfodiepcklrn2 Archive

View 9 posts and 181 comments by mdjfodiepcklrn2 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

You’re missing an important piece. You need to kill the oneitis and start living for yourself. Outcome independence etc etc. She may or may not be interested but raising SMV and all can only help
/r/askMRP05/01/24 04:03 PM
3

No one will truly respect you until you respect yourself. You’ve read the sidebar multiple times. That’s enough reading. Do you trust yourself? Respect yourself? Love yourself? What do you like and dislike about yourself? What do you wish your life was like? Here are some tips that are helping me: Do things that push you out of your comfort zone on a regular basis. Especially the ones that you really don’t want to do. Do things that scare you and make you uncomfortable. Show yourself that you ca…
/r/askMRP03/01/24 12:10 AM
2

I can see why it would be considered intermediate. It focuses on loving your woman and being a present, desirable person. If read when too beta, it might encourage even more beta behavior instead of oaking. If you’re ready, you’re ready.
/r/askMRP02/01/24 09:56 PM
3

It’s okay. It happens to pretty much everyone. Just keep swimming and reading. Again, I highly recommend the way of the superior man for this.
/r/askMRP02/01/24 08:15 PM
1

That sounds strangely cold. Most people (men and women) like things like that. But if that’s just who she is…
/r/askMRP02/01/24 07:07 PM
1

Has she always been this way? Even when you first met?
/r/askMRP02/01/24 06:49 PM
19

This seems like a good sign and, yes, like a shit test. If you read between the lines, she is worried that you aren’t as caring and submissive to her anymore. She is used to you being “a yes man”. But how did she treat that yes man? Let me guess: like garbage. Did she fuck you with passion? Let me guess: no. That’s probably how you ended up here. So what she thinks she wants (a submissive yes man) is not what she really wants, deep down. It’s just what she’s used to. What she’s comfortable with.…
/r/askMRP02/01/24 06:41 PM
3

6 weeks? Dude, come on.
/r/askMRP27/12/23 06:12 PM
2

OYS #4 28, 5'9” 180 lbs (+1 lb…), Married 3Y, Together 5Y, Kids: none! Lifting: bench 180, squat 200, deadlift 200 last I went. I haven’t gone this week. Reading: NMMNG, WISNIFG, TWotSM (in the middle of 2x), TRM, MMSLP, MAP, PFP(10%), 1% man (20%) Mission: good question Reading: Still finding that I really need a mission and sense of purpose. I used to have one but realized that that wasn’t what I really wanted out of life after putting years of work into succeeding at it. I can tell that my wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/23 03:20 PM
3

Not principles lol. Just get to a gym
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/23 02:55 PM
3

Shitting on planet fitness when you are having financial issues and need to get fit? Someone just doesn’t want it bad enough
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/23 02:36 PM
3

It means that she’s looking for alpha, subconsciously or consciously. And she may already have that alpha picked out. If she doesn’t, she can find one who’s dtf in five minutes. I think it’s workable but you have to make sure you’re not getting fucked over first and proceed with caution
/r/askMRP19/12/23 12:22 AM
5

A lot of your comments show that you should have ended your marriage years ago. I don’t think this is worth saving. You’re lying to yourself and us about the real reason that you kept her. It isn’t for her sake, it’s for yours. She was your beta bucks. She provided money, comfort, commitment, and security even when you treated her badly. You got to have your cake and eat it too by fooling around with other women. You are trying to keep your security blanket, not your lover. You don’t think she’s…
/r/askMRP17/12/23 06:09 PM
2

I can relate to some of what you said. It seems like you’re aware of a lot of the mistakes that you made. The real problem is that as hard as it is to become aware of your issues, that’s only the tip of the iceberg of the work you have to do. You have a lot to sift through. If this marriage manages to survive, you will both have to sort through the damage that’s been caused. And there’s still the core issue of you feeling that you settled with this woman. Do you even truly love her? I think you …
/r/askMRP17/12/23 03:46 PM
7

I did answer your questions, just not directly because you seem to be missing the point. And you still are from what I’m getting. I don’t think you understood what I said, or maybe you didn’t want to understand. I was not trying to say that you should convince your wife that you’re busy. I was trying to tell you stop playing games by holding back or escalating your affection/attention so intentionally. You are trying to find the response formula that will make her interested in you and that isn’…
/r/askMRP17/12/23 01:04 AM
14

There are layers to this. You’re trying to instigate certain reactions from her. I get why you took her enthusiasm as a good sign, but you’re not supposed to intentionally hold back validation and affection if nothing is wrong. You should be dialing back affection and attention NATURALLY as a consequence of you being busy, not on purpose. You doing this on purpose and monitoring how it affects her says that she’s on your mind way too much. This is probably showing in other behaviors that she is …
/r/askMRP16/12/23 11:28 PM
1

Totally agreed on therapy. My therapist is good but not pushing me as much as I’d like. I’m thinking about switching to another one for the new year. I’d love some challenging homework to help me get out of this whole. I do have specific traumas that I’m dealing with, and the current one listens well, but doesn’t help me take enough action. “If you want to have more than casual friendships, you need to get past casual interactions”. I need this tattooed on my arm or some shit. I know this but it…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/23 04:29 AM
1

I know this on paper but struggle to apply it. I’ve gotten better at responding and holding frame but still get dragged into nonsense, especially when her mental health is poor. I still fear rejection and being alone, which doesn’t help. I think I will until I have a better support system and get in top shape. That said, I’ll spend downtime rereading my saved comments and posts because most of them are about this. I’m always trying to remind myself but it’s not natural yet. When she’s acting up …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/23 04:25 AM
4

OYS #3 28, 5'9” 179 lbs (-10lb), Married 3Y, Together 5Y, Kids: none! Lifting: bench 180, squat 200, deadlift 200 Reading: NMMNG, WISNIFG, TWotSM, TRM, MMSLP, MAP, PFP(10%), 1% man (20%) Mission: good question Reading: Keep finding recurring themes about what I need to work on. First, bringing my attention back to who I am and what I want out of life. Second, building a support system. Third, setting boundaries with my wife. Fourth, avoiding butthurt behavior and arguments. A&A, D&A, and AM get …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/23 12:00 PM
0

I agree with what you’re saying. I will say that I have thought about posting in OYS because I have improved a lot over the last two months especially. Lots of positive changes in my life as a whole (related and not related to her) because I have decided to own my shit. Our dead bedroom has also ended. That said, I am still struggling with things internally. I have anger and resentment that come up and then fade out in waves as she has been pretty disrespectful and I would even say abusive. I fe…
/r/askMRP12/12/23 06:12 PM
0

Thanks for reminding me of all of this. You’re right, I’m not ready for the second option. I’ve improved in a lot of areas and my life has gotten a lot better, but I’m still working on the inner parts. That said, I genuinely don’t want validation with this post. It’s that I don’t want to leave just yet and hope this can be salvaged, but don’t know what to do. Her emotions are not my responsibility, and I don’t want them to be. It feels like she wants them to be. It’s hard for me to know what to …
/r/askMRP12/12/23 08:09 AM
1

I have considered leaving. I often think about how I wish I had a calmer and more supportive woman. However, I don’t want to go until I am satisfied with my MAP AND know that I gave it my all. I had a lot of areas to grow in and I was hoping that I could reach her. I feel like there’s a type of leadership she wants in this that I don’t understand.
/r/askMRP12/12/23 07:23 AM
5

Welcome man. I started a few months ago and it gets clearer and clearer with time. It’s very easy to use a relationship as a bandaid for your other shit. Love can be so nice that it clouds everything else. It’s like a drug. And, like with a drug addiction, you’re left to deal with your crap as you strip that away. That’s part of why rejection hurts so bad. It’s very tempting to just get another hit and feel good immediately, but it isn’t fulfilling long-term
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/23 04:56 AM
4

Love is more of an exchange in my head now. There is a beautiful connection that it can entail, but that connection comes from a bunch of other things. Trust, companionship, beauty, social status, money, etc. Everything plays into it. This is true for both men and women. It can be both depressing and freeing to realize. You are not a slave to your feelings and neither is she. If either of you stop pulling your weight you start withdrawing from the relationship bank. Relationships that suck don’t…
/r/askMRP29/11/23 05:38 AM
6

This is true and there’s a reason for it. Says a lot when the experts hesitate to get involved. It’s a chaotic and highly emotional disorder, and they’re often out of control, compared to narcissists who are more cold and calculated
/r/askMRP15/11/23 07:39 PM
5

Yeah, remember that it’s a cluster B personality disorder. It has common traits with the other cluster Bs aka narcissism, antisocial, and histrionic. The symptoms of BPD probably suck for them to deal with but are also pretty much inherently toxic, especially for their romantic partner. Explosive anger especially, if she met that one. Therapy can help but it’s a slow, long-term solution that relies on her consistent effort and her having a good therapist. I would count yourself lucky
/r/askMRP15/11/23 07:32 PM
2

It’s okay. Just be strong because there’s a high chance she’ll be back to pull you back into the toxic cycles
/r/askMRP15/11/23 07:30 PM
5

BPD is a no go unless VERY well managed. Even then, it’s hard to know that it’ll be even a halfway normal relationship, because most of their shitty behavior only comes out against the person they’re dating. You have to become their favorite person before they’ll start acting up, and it usually gets worse once it starts. The roller coaster and intensity get addictive. Count yourself lucky
/r/askMRP15/11/23 07:25 PM
1

It’s not rocket science. What is attractive in a man? Fitness Money Social skills Height Face Proportions Game Sex skills Leadership Mix of spontaneity and responsibility
/r/askMRP08/11/23 06:11 AM
1

This is true, but it’s more about the power difference in a relationship. There is almost always a power imbalance at play. Swinging from the higher SMV position to the lower SMV position in my marriage just sucked. If you think you’re the prize, you don’t stand for nonsense and value your autonomy, which makes you even more attractive. If she thinks you’re the prize, you get mindblowing sex, lots of attention, special treatment, and more. She will beg for both sex and commitment. This process o…
/r/askMRP08/11/23 06:05 AM
7

Yup, pretty much this. Genuine desire has passion, anxiety and urgency to it. If you have to ask if she genuinely desires you, she doesn’t
/r/askMRP08/11/23 05:52 AM
1

I agree... She doesn’t seem horny and is rejecting sex often. As much as I’d like to believe that this is always her wanting caveman mode, my gut says this is about power and control. I think she wants me to want her (ego boost, attention) even if she doesn’t want me. When our relationship was stronger, she had a high sex drive and would initiate often. I almost never got rejected, and a lot was on the table. Other signs of interest (like cute texts and thoughtful gestures) have also dropped. I’…
/r/askMRP14/10/23 10:23 PM
1

More like too angry. I’m so pissed. I thought my anger phase was ending but today I’m just angry again. It’s not just this, it’s all the little instances of disrespect and disregard. I know I created this situation but still
/r/askMRP12/10/23 07:22 PM
0

Yeah I agree with you. I do think I should initiate more often when she’s acting up but I also think she’s just gotten used to my attention and feels entitled to me wanting her. Trying to reset the scale by focusing on other things
/r/askMRP12/10/23 05:10 AM
2

I just didn’t think she was playing hard to get but honestly I miss really unleashing on her and pounding her. I’m going to just go for it. Thanks for cutting through my dumbassery
/r/askMRP11/10/23 11:52 PM
5

I’ll try that imagine she doesn’t speak English thing because clearly I’ve got it wrong
/r/askMRP11/10/23 11:50 PM
2

So she says she doesn’t want sex because she wants me to push harder for it/do it anyway?
/r/askMRP11/10/23 10:34 PM
1

One more thing, how do you explain the first example?
/r/askMRP11/10/23 10:11 PM
0

Not what I said. I initiate and she rejects. Then she teases and gets physical. I didn’t know what to make of it. In your head, why does she reject me and then initiate herself?
/r/askMRP11/10/23 10:06 PM
1

This was some life-changing shit right here. I saved the post. You’re right, I used to fuck because I wanted to fuck and managed to get so beta that I use it for validation. It’s taking the fun out of it
/r/askMRP11/10/23 10:02 PM
3

Hurts but hurts good bro thank you
/r/askMRP11/10/23 09:56 PM
1

Seems like the consensus is that she’s initiating and wanting me to take charge, pushing through her resistance. I’m just gonna unleash myself on her and see what happens
/r/askMRP11/10/23 09:49 PM
1

That helps a lot dude, thanks. Guess I was getting so pissed off that I lost track of that kind of option. I’ll take her like an animal next time and update with whether that worked or not
/r/askMRP11/10/23 09:44 PM
2

True. Maybe I will
/r/askMRP11/10/23 09:33 PM
6

Like crap. Want that shit gone though, and it is dying. I’m finding myself wanting to do other things, meeting other attractive women, and feeling like being single wouldn’t be so bad more often. It’s inconsistent though. Right now I’m mad.
/r/askMRP11/10/23 09:32 PM
1

Read the post again. I made it clear that I used to have those conversations with her before finding MRP. I don’t do that anymore. Fact remains that she rejects and then seeks attention. I get the vibe that she wants me to want her but doesn’t want me, essentially wanting me to simp for her. But I may as well see what happens if I just go for it again when she does that
/r/askMRP11/10/23 09:24 PM
1

Well she never used to do this. This is new and coincided with other signs of her losing respect and attraction for me. But I guess you’re right that I have nothing to lose anyway.
/r/askMRP11/10/23 09:10 PM
3

You really think so? Because in these situations she’s rejecting me and then doing this crap. Like in the third example when she already walked out on me. It really, really feels like a validation, power and control thing to me
/r/askMRP11/10/23 09:00 PM
2

I’m also new (just a disclaimer) but I think it’s good that you’re considering what you get out of this deal. I got to that point recently, too, and it’s as depressing as it is enlightening. You realize that as you improve and bring more to the table, you will want someone who is also bringing enough to the table. You’ll become a guy who won’t settle for scraps and who defuses or doesn’t tolerate drama. Passion and intimacy will be the bare minimum to stay with you. In other words, it sounds lik…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/10/23 07:51 PM
17

Break up. This is a very new relationship. At this point my wife and I were head over heels, couldn’t stay away from each other. And she’s cheating.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/23 07:18 PM
4

You can definitely get dumped for a lack of beta, it just takes longer and usually requires more extreme mistakes. Think like drug addiction, criminal charges, cheating, neglecting your kids.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/23 07:45 AM
3

I do realize this. That was my point
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/23 11:36 PM
4

You say this but this would’ve really helped me to read a few months ago lol
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/23 04:52 PM
5

Oh for sure, and I tried that stupidity at first. Appreciate your encouragement!
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/23 04:11 PM
2

Yeah that’s not what’s going on. Read more
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/23 04:12 PM
1

Oh for real. More like she said she didn’t and I hope so
/r/askMRP28/09/23 01:35 AM
1

I hope not, I mean after that she went on to be a pretty dedicated gf who was honestly clingy and insecure. But she broke my trust already so who knows
/r/askMRP28/09/23 01:33 AM
2

I did start posting there and yup stay plan is the go plan
/r/askMRP28/09/23 01:33 AM
1

I’m not talking about the guy from the club lol. Read it over again. I said I understand hooking up before we were exclusive but am upset by her meeting with this ex behind my back AFTER we were exclusive.
/r/askMRP28/09/23 01:32 AM
2

It’s one thing to know you’re replaceable and another to have your gf sneaking around with an ex. That’s a shitty thing to do
/r/askMRP28/09/23 01:31 AM
2

That’s what I think too. Thanks man
/r/askMRP28/09/23 01:31 AM
1

I’m not sure yet, but I might want an upgrade. Definitely considering it
/r/askMRP27/09/23 11:24 PM
1

Yes
/r/askMRP27/09/23 10:09 PM
2

Fair. I’m strongly considering leaving at the end of my MAP. I want to leave from a position of strength, where I have clarity and a good outlook on life, you know?
/r/askMRP27/09/23 08:48 PM
1

Thanks dude, this is the way… trying to break my oneitis but it’s so strong, partially because her SMV is higher than mine right now and that gives me anxiety. So… to the gym
/r/askMRP27/09/23 08:31 PM
1

I’m not the ATM now, and especially wasn’t then. I was a sort of stereotypical cute frat guy who slept around a bit until we met. She used to pay for a lot of our dates and spoil me back then, to the point that she’d pay for hotels for us to have sex in after dates. Ironically, this other dude made a good salary. I think I was the “fun option”. With that said… Our relationship has essentially gone from me being spoiled by all this attention/neediness for 3 years, getting married, then me letting…
/r/askMRP27/09/23 08:30 PM
2

Honestly, I went through her phone and didn’t see anything. The other guy is also seemingly happily married.
/r/askMRP27/09/23 08:23 PM
1

She didn’t hook up with the ex. I was referring to a hookup she had before we were official which I understand. Her and her ex essentially went on a dinner date though, AFTER we were official. About a month after. It’s not the mistakes themselves, it’s the combination of her hiding/lying about multiple things that gives me pause. These things came out on the same day a few months ago. I’m not going anywhere yet, but this kind of thing makes it harder to STFU and avoid being butthurt, and makes m…
/r/askMRP27/09/23 08:22 PM
-4

I more get the sense that she went on a date to compare me and him, trying to decide who to stick with, and decided to stick with me. Essentially that she had feelings for him. I don’t think they fucked, but that scenario on its own is disrespectful enough that I’m pissed/upset. Urge to cheat, too, but I won’t.
/r/askMRP27/09/23 08:19 PM
1

I don’t agree
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/23 06:04 PM
1

Ok well I still want to deal with my insecurity because it’s causing me problems
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/23 02:39 PM
1

I think I was insecure even before I met her though, people just thought I was cool and charismatic
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/23 12:55 AM
1

Age: 28. Stats: 5’9, 189 pounds. Bench 150 Squat 130, Deadlift 170. Working on it but need to be more consistent. I’ve been great about my diet, though, and cooking great meals for me and her as a result. My situation may be slightly different from others on TRP in that my wife was initially the one really into our relationship. She spent years hopelessly in love with me while I acted immature, irresponsible, and sort of distant (though I loved her too). She originally pictured me as a player, w…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/23 09:20 PM
1

I don’t think everything is great. I’m one month in to unfucking my life. I’m thinking it’ll take another 4-5 to really become happy, independent, and fulfilled
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/23 03:26 AM
1

Thanks man, I really appreciated your comment. I know that I’m still too attached to her and am working on it, but I can tell that it’ll take time to fully go away. Some days are better for me than others, but I would really like to get to a more stable and healthy place overall. And you’re right that I wanted to brag a bit about my progress and felt validated by her attention. I would love to be fully, independently confident and happy. I got really dependent on my wife from a combination of go…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/23 10:23 PM
1

You confidently assume so much and throw around accusations like some internet warrior. I don’t have an interest in explaining either of those things to you. You’re free to assume that I’m manipulatively arranging my personality and life around sex, don’t care about my wife, and rule with an iron fist
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/23 09:27 PM
2

You went on this massive rant over a bunch of stuff I don’t think in the first place lol. I do get your point but I learned these lessons a while ago
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/23 06:41 PM
2

I can see that and I’m sure she’ll act up when it happens. She’s stubborn and fiery but I don’t fear her outbursts anymore. For now, though, she’s actually been saying that she’s enjoying feeling protected and taken care of.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/23 07:06 PM
2

Oh, it would hurt, but my wife isn’t all fully tamed now. She’s much better but will still throw shit tests, attitude, etc., just much less. I definitely don’t think I’m almost done with my growth. I’m imagining this as a 5-6 month journey, especially with me being out of shape. I just don’t feel the same way about some things anymore. The big mental shifts that have really stuck for me is that 1) her moodiness is her own issue (I used to get overly involved and affected by it) and 2) that tons …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/23 06:03 PM
0

Can you expand a bit?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/23 05:56 PM
2

I agree. She’s a feminist and talks a lot about being strong and equal, but at the end of the day, she clearly wanted a rock and leader in the house. She’s even mentioned wanting to quit her job and stay at home for a while.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/23 05:56 PM
5

I do love her, but not the way I did before. The red pill went down bitter for me and stuck some things I dislike about her right in front of my eyes. I see her as flawed in a way that I didn’t and don’t think she’s necessarily the end all be all for me. My oneitis was way worse before, though it’s still around now. Also, before I loved and needed her, which I’m not out of yet but am headed out of. I don’t feel like I need her to be complete or happy, which honestly I did before. Basically, my l…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/23 07:30 AM
0

Honestly I enjoy it, especially when someone is doing all the wrong things like choreplay
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/23 02:23 AM
19

Oh, for sure. I’m not completely in my frame and I know it. However, I can sense the change in myself and want to keep following this road until I’m fully in my frame. I have a good idea of where I want to go (who I want to be) and have also been trying new things to see how they feel. I’m slowly using my own measuring stick and it feels good. I can feel the difference because there’s that growing sense of peace and acceptance of whichever road I end up going with. Not perfect yet, I’ve still go…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/23 01:24 AM
0

Genuine question: why is this more of a death sentence than things like “I don’t love you anymore” or even just a spouse clearly losing respect and attraction? I read the post but it feels like this specific statement causes more of an uproar and I don’t get it, given that it feels like pretty much everyone here has a spouse who isn’t “in love” as we can see by the dead bedroom and shit tests
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/23 07:23 PM
1

We didn’t end up doing it. We almost did one day, then put it off, and now I’m not sure if we will. Honestly, she is struggling to forgive my selfishness and neglect from earlier in the relationship. I wish I had been a more giving partner. I took her for granted for a long time
/r/askMRP15/09/23 03:54 PM
-1

Good luck. Men are biologically wired to want sex more than woman and to be the pursuers. Women sit back and enjoy the attention, and are the ones who have to deal with giving birth. They have the options so they will do whatever benefits themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 05:12 PM
4

My wife told me that she hated anal when we started dating and wouldn’t do it. A few months later, she begged me for it. If you’re not getting the sex you want from your partner, look at what you’re doing and their attraction for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 05:11 PM
–

The thing guys get mad about is that women have an abundance of choice for one night stands and FWBs, so they go for people who are super hot simply because they can. Your average woman can pull a hot guy into her bed if she wants
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 05:09 PM
–

People don’t like to think of themselves as shallow. It’s why people will instinctively deny testing anyone differently based on appearance, even though it’s been shown over and over in research - even in babies. But yeah, appearance matters
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 05:08 PM
–

The word attractive literally means that they attract people, and yet you’re shocked that they attract people
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 05:07 PM
–

If all you have is your looks, you usually either end up in toxic/codependent/abusive relationships or break up after a few years. Don’t be delusional
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 05:04 PM
1

That’s part of the point, that your standards, wants and needs will likely change along the way
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/23 08:00 PM
1

I can see that now that my anger is cooling. We both have resentment and bicker very easily. Maybe it would be good to officially close the book.
/r/askMRP30/08/23 03:14 AM
2

This advice really spoke to me. Thank you.
/r/askMRP29/08/23 04:11 PM
2

Your advice was really helpful. Thanks for the support, man. And no cheating, unrelated issues around clinginess and codependency.
/r/askMRP28/08/23 10:26 PM
5

LOL, that helps a lot actually, thank you
/r/askMRP28/08/23 04:40 PM
1

I didn’t talk to her about any of this actually.
/r/askMRP27/08/23 04:33 PM
2

I read NMMNG and related to some of what it said! It definitely helped me recognize my own covert contracts and say no/put my foot down on crappy behavior. I’m in search of my frame and mission, really pushing myself back out there socially and with my hobbies. Overall, I think I know what I need to do, but I still feel butthurt and resentful of how I’ve been treated. My wife also knows me well enough to immediately pick up on minor changes in my behavior and push a conversation on it. I’ve been…
/r/askMRP27/08/23 12:04 PM
1

I’m with you and appreciate your advice. I also think building positive, exciting memories would be better than this long, emotional conversation about our failures. I’m trying to think through how I feel and what id personally rather do, and what I can handle. My emotions keep veering around and anger is the most prominent. I don’t want to be weak in the moment if we do this. I do generally know what I’d want to say if we did do it, but I know that respect and attraction can’t be negotiated and…
/r/askMRP27/08/23 11:59 AM
1

That’s how I feel! Thanks for wording it better than I could… I wasn’t doing it intentionally at the time, but I felt good about surprising her and being romantic/affectionate when she was a loving and dedicated partner. She did put me through another flavor of bs (“you don’t love me!” insecurity talking) but I got whatever I wanted in bed and she desperately wanted to settle down together. I genuinely enjoy being romantic and thoughtful, I just don’t want to simp. I know I can’t negotiate desir…
/r/askMRP27/08/23 11:52 AM
2

You’re right, I need to post there. Thanks for reminding me that I know the answer and am just having a hard time swallowing the pill
/r/askMRP27/08/23 11:44 AM
1

I read the book and related to it. I needed to put my foot down on a lot of bad behavior and didn’t, both with her and my family. I had a strong frame years ago and she’s gotten a front row seat to watching it break down. I will try to think of it that way, as a loving leader.
/r/askMRP27/08/23 06:09 AM
2

Still angry but I will keep repeating this to myself until it fully sets in.
/r/askMRP27/08/23 06:08 AM
1

I’m trying man but my resentment is getting to me. Im following the MAP but sometimes I’m just so pissed. I know you’re right though, so please let me know if you have any specific recommendations
/r/askMRP27/08/23 06:07 AM
1

There are a few reasons that I’m afraid to get angry. Some big ones are that I don’t want to look weak (knowing i can’t negotiate attraction or respect) and don’t want to push her away with my emotions as I don’t have the power in the relationship right now. I feel Rambo coming in swinging like that. The stuff that upsets me isn’t in the present as much. I stand up for myself in the present and am getting better at passing shit tests. I have hurt and anger over the past. At the same time, we hav…
/r/askMRP27/08/23 04:33 AM
2

This is great advice, thank you. I used to victim puke a lot before finding MRP and, surprise surprise, that shit never helped. If anything, it turned her off and made her angry. Right now she holds more power in the relationship, so I don’t feel like this conversation would be happening on equal footing, and I don’t think it would reconnect us as she’s hoping. I do understand her not wanting us to argue, and we both do have resentment toward each other, so I see the intention. Sometimes I’m abl…
/r/askMRP27/08/23 03:39 AM
5

I do have a revenge fantasy right now. I’m knee deep in the anger phase. There are times when I internalize what you’re saying, but I have my own resentment from the cruelty and disrespect that I’ve faced from her. I’m angry at both her and myself, and it comes in waves. Today, I’m enraged, but she doesn’t know that because I’ve taken my own space. I do have feelings for her. Maybe things will change and work out well as I’m on the MAP and maybe that will be fine. In either case, I want to grow …
/r/askMRP27/08/23 03:30 AM
1

I have a super strong Rambo urge. One of the reasons I’m worried about the ritual thing she has in mind, because I’m so angry that I want to say mean shit to her and am holding back instead. And we do talk too much, we’ve spent years having lots of arguments and long, serious conversations about our relationship. That’s why I think we need action instead, especially when she responded very positively to my changes until I backslid. Since finding MRP, I’ve been reading the books, working out, and…
/r/askMRP26/08/23 11:17 PM
1

You’re right and I know this. I also think that this is the best way forward and am trying to do that, but I’m still angry and having this suggestion come up and leaves me feeling stuck
/r/askMRP26/08/23 11:12 PM
1

Oh I totally agree, it wasn’t perfect at all. What would you suggest I do when she gets like this, but still denies sex? It feels like she just wants attention and validation sometimes, which pisses me off. I know I’m in the anger phase and things like this just feel so grating at the moment.
/r/askMRP25/08/23 07:27 PM
8

Why do you think you’re not good enough? What qualities about you make you worried? Put your energy into fixing those things. Worry that you’re not that attractive? Hit the gym. Worried that you’re boring? Push your comfort zone. Feel stupid? Read more. Awkward and anxious? Get social. Worry that you’re not a good person? Do honorable things. These are all skills that can be practiced. Seeing improvement in yourself will challenge your self-perception for two reasons: you’ll see that your reason…
/r/askMRP25/08/23 03:25 PM
1

You’re not angry at her, you’re angry at yourself. If you were high value you’d leave or just ignore her nonsense. You’re angry because she’s the best you can get right now and you know that you’re losing her. I get it, it sucks. But this is your hard look in the mirror. You always have to ask, “if I was this woman, with the potential suitors and one night stands that she has, would I want to commit to me?” I had to be brutally honest with myself and say no, I wouldn’t. Which means I need to fol…
/r/askMRP24/08/23 05:16 AM
2

A great way to catch on to some positive habits is to make friends with other HVM. Will take some growth to achieve, but then you’ll see how they live and what attraction really looks like. My highest value male friends don’t even try with women unless they feel like it, and have many plates simply because they can. The women who want them realize they have a lot of competition, so they stay on their A game and leave the HVM with their pick of the group.
/r/askMRP24/08/23 05:05 AM
5

I think of covert contracts as anything I do to get something from my partner instead of something I do for my own interest/wellbeing. It’s good to be focused on your own growth in general, but especially when you’re dealing with a failing relationship. It’s easy to let your hurt sidetrack you into chasing a validation carrot and only losing frame/getting more invested in something that’s not working. You want to be someone that you’d be proud of regardless of what she thinks. Good litmus test: …
/r/askMRP24/08/23 05:02 AM
1

A lot of hot girls do this because attention is easy to come by for them
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 08:47 PM
0

It’s the same vice versa lol. The woman could leave for someone she’s actually attracted to. Easy to preach behind a screen, harder in the real world where people have layers and other things in their life.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 02:05 AM
4

That’s not what they’re saying. Let me put it in simple terms for you. In a relationship, attraction can wane. It can wane for many reasons, including being irresponsible, selfish, or childish which can come across through not doing chores. This does not mean a woman wants to trade dishes for blowjobs. This means that no one wants to fuck a manchild. It’s not hard to be an adult. At the same time, there is a difference between being someone who hardly contributes and being nitpicked at for every…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 02:03 AM
0

No one said they were forced lol
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 07:06 PM
2

Nobody said that. Anyone involved can make their own decision after they weigh the situation. Just as she can leave, so can he, or they can try to work on things
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 07:05 PM
7

Right and we can see that by how you’ve convinced yourself that women wanting dishes in exchange for sex is the way of the world
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 06:46 PM
1

Yes? Of course?
/r/askMRP18/08/23 06:45 PM
2

You’re so right and I know it. Fitness is my number one priority because I know I need to get back in shape, bad. Eating carefully, exercising daily, the works.
/r/askMRP18/08/23 06:43 PM
4

True, but there’s a flip side. Both partners also owe it to each other to remain desirable. You can’t let yourself go and then sit there surprised that the woman who wanted a completely different dude is no longer interested. Additionally, you’re working against the clock - boredom and routine can set in easily. The only way to fight against this is to be an interesting person who does new things and adds value to someone’s life consistently
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 06:42 PM
2

Because it isn’t always that simple (kids, lease, etc.), and people often hope things will change. As a species, we avoid discomfort and those types of big emotional changes
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 06:40 PM
2

Yeah I can see why. You’ve taken your failures and become bitter instead of learning anything. Calm down, read, and improve.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 06:40 PM
6

The unfortunate reality is that men and women are different. Men will often want sex with just about anyone. They can be totally sick of their gf and still want to fuck her. They can fuck someone who they think is ugly as well. They don’t get opportunities to have sex easily, and biologically there are obvious reasons for this. So when they get an opportunity, they usually take it. Even incredibly hot men can be this way, but they might have more standards. Women are different, they want to fuck…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 06:36 PM
-3

If you honestly think this, you’re completely wrong. You doing all these chores isn’t going to make anyone wet (beyond reasonable expectations to take care of your house like an adult, and share childcare duties as appropriate). The issue is that whoever you’re with isn’t that into you, and instead of leaving or fixing that problem, you’re falling into the trap/covert contract of doing chores for sex. Use your brain for a second. Doing dishes doesn’t make panties drop. Rubbing feet doesn’t do it…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 06:33 PM
1

I do see those issues in myself and have read a lot of sidebar books, not all yet but good way through
/r/askMRP18/08/23 06:29 PM
1

Definitely need space from each other. Working on that balance.
/r/askMRP18/08/23 06:29 PM
1

She said all that, not me. I didn’t A&A grinding, obviously. I do this randomly throughout the day and she was referring to that. Didn’t tell her anything about fight club, she just said that she’s noticed me being more aggressive and dominant with flirting and sex
/r/askMRP18/08/23 01:08 PM
-2

Update: she was up to her usual antics and I said, “you know, if you’re going to act like this, the least you could do is get me off” or something, then she says “I’m sorry, I love you but I just don’t have any sex drive right now”. We talk and she reveals that she has been struggling emotionally/mentally and that this has been her misguided attempt to get more beta behaviors from me. Apparently she’s been upping the flaunting because she feels ugly and has been wanting me to compliment and roma…
/r/askMRP18/08/23 06:25 AM
1

Update: she was up to her usual antics and I said, “you know, if you’re going to act like this, the least you could do is get me off” or something, then she says “I’m sorry, I love you but I just don’t have any sex drive right now”. We talk and she reveals that she has been struggling emotionally/mentally and that this has been her misguided attempt to get more beta behaviors from me. Apparently she’s been upping the flaunting because she feels ugly and has been wanting me to compliment and roma…
/r/askMRP18/08/23 06:17 AM
1

So you know, this is basically what happened, though less intentionally. To summarize, she was up to her usual antics and I said, “you know, if you’re going to act like this, the least you could do is get me off” or something, then she says “I’m sorry, I love you but I just don’t have any sex drive right now”. We talk and she l reveals that she has been struggling emotionally/mentally and that this has been her misguided attempt to get more beta behaviors from me. Apparently she’s been upping th…
/r/askMRP18/08/23 06:14 AM
2

Thanks man I appreciate the help
/r/askMRP18/08/23 02:16 AM
2

That makes a lot of sense. Thanks!
/r/askMRP18/08/23 01:09 AM
2

You’re right and I’m running my map, but getting hung up on the mixed signals, like you said. I’m positive she’s not with anyone else but I do think she’s less attracted. Maybe she’s just affectionate without attraction, but why is her affection so sexual?
/r/askMRP18/08/23 12:49 AM
-1

I do this and she likes it, but turns me down if I actually try to fuck her. It’s throwing me for a loop
/r/askMRP18/08/23 12:12 AM
2

That could be good. The teasing is pissing me off and making me resentful, messing with my mood. I also noticed that she escalates the teasing when I’m not giving her as much attention. She’ll wear sluttier clothes and flaunt her tits. But with the amount of time we’re making out, groping, etc. you’d think she’d be dtf.
/r/askMRP17/08/23 10:19 PM
1

Thanks man, I’ll try that. Sometimes I’m not sure if something is LMR or soft no
/r/askMRP17/08/23 10:17 PM
-7

I do think I have a bad habit of initiating at night, but she does reject quite often
/r/askMRP17/08/23 10:04 PM
-1

Would her stopping teasing be good? Part of me says some sexual contact is good and will lead to escalating feelings, and that cutting it off could be bad for sex drive, but I could be totally wrong
/r/askMRP17/08/23 10:04 PM
2

Maybe every two weeks. It’s mostly me initiating though and sometimes it feels like duty sex.
/r/askMRP17/08/23 10:03 PM
0

Maybe I am being too passive. I got rejected a couple times and then pulled back a bit to focus on my MAP. I initiate contact with her too, but not as much as before
/r/askMRP17/08/23 10:03 PM
1

If YOU want friends for your own sake, not your fiancée’s… Invite people to things. Be the organizer. Movie night is at your place, so is the poker party, etc
/r/askMRP17/08/23 02:05 PM
2

It’s an improvement plan for your life as a guy. Can have lots of components, like exercise and professional success
/r/askMRP15/08/23 04:59 AM
0

I thought it through and I’m going to just focus on my MAP and see what happens. I’m facially attractive enough that I still get hit on despite being out of shape. I think if I work on my fitness and other parts of my MAP, I’ll be able to fix my own insecurity/jealousy and make a decision from a healthy standpoint. For now, she’s pretty hot and cold, but we’ll see
/r/askMRP14/08/23 07:23 AM
2

That’s the goal man. Thanks so much for the encouragement. I’m seeing some progress and can’t wait to me the best version of myself. Good luck on your own MAP
/r/askMRP14/08/23 07:20 AM
1

Obviously? Lol
/r/askMRP13/08/23 08:14 PM
1

I’ve definitely thought about it. She hits a lot of the criteria, ESPECIALLY having an unclear sense of self.
/r/askMRP13/08/23 07:36 PM
0

Oh I assume there are more now. Sluts are gonna slut
/r/askMRP13/08/23 07:35 PM
2

Why is this weird to believe? Obviously people here got the girl in the first place, so I would bet a lot were alpha at one point but then lost their way, had kids and got fat, etc
/r/askMRP13/08/23 07:34 PM
0

Yup, lack of trust, because I know what she’s like when she’s all in (total whore, overly attached, very committed, jealous) and that’s definitely not what I’ve been seeing for a while. She’s a good fuck but probably shouldn’t have been promoted tbh. Hot but tons of drama and attitude in hindsight. I got blinded by her being so my type and dedicated and excused too much bs. Distinct memory of a day when I was thinking about dumping her and she sent a bunch of great nudes. Oneitis is a bitch. I’m…
/r/askMRP13/08/23 07:25 PM
1

Yeah, I didn’t realize what a slut she was. What’s helping me now tho is just thinking of her like some slut I’m on a date with. Helps kill the oneitis
/r/askMRP13/08/23 07:23 PM
1

Pill goes down right but damn it’s bitter. Fitness is my priority so hitting it hard
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/23 02:21 PM
2

Nah, she did lie. She was always saying “from the moment we met I never saw anyone else” etc. That said, you’re right that this is probably really about me feeling insecure about our relationship, it just rubs salt in the wound. I’m just going to follow my MAP and then see how I feel about her at a good point
/r/askMRP13/08/23 01:32 PM
2

PFP?
/r/askMRP13/08/23 08:59 AM
4

That’s my thought honestly, that this is her testing/sabotaging because she’s lost attraction. Hurts and pisses me off at once. She wouldn’t have dreamed of saying this when I was alpha and didn’t for years, which stings but is also motivating. I didn’t ask about her past but she brought it up when we were talking about the club this happened at
/r/askMRP13/08/23 07:08 AM
2

True but ouch, now I’m here so there’s only MAP to go
/r/askMRP13/08/23 07:02 AM
-9

I’m 100% confident she didn’t cheat after we were official
/r/askMRP13/08/23 07:01 AM
2

True but ouch, red pill goes down hard
/r/askMRP13/08/23 07:01 AM
1

Great advice, thank you!
/r/askMRP13/08/23 05:22 AM
2

Yup + lies
/r/askMRP13/08/23 02:39 AM
1

I’ve suspected it tbh, her emotions can be a lot, more so than other women. Great lay as the stereotype says lol
/r/askMRP13/08/23 02:39 AM
2

That’s the plan! Unfortunately I know I let myself go so there’s only up to go. Working hard at the MAP. When I’m back on top I’ll reevaluate
/r/askMRP13/08/23 02:38 AM
3

I want to improve SMV and then re-evaluate. Once I’m back to being myself I can see if she’s my best option. Used to have a lot of girls into me and no jealousy/insecurity and man I miss that version of me.
/r/askMRP13/08/23 02:37 AM
4

Bitter but useful tbh
/r/askMRP13/08/23 02:35 AM
3

Again, I’m new and working on it. Fitness is my #1 goal
/r/askMRP13/08/23 12:55 AM
2

We were talking about how we used to party more back then and wanted to do it again, and some clubs in our hometown came up. We talked about this strip and she said “I lost my mind at X club” and I was like oh yeah? And this came out.
/r/askMRP13/08/23 12:50 AM
1

Potentially. I never felt jealous or insecure until I let myself go during COVID. Would love my confidence/frame back
/r/askMRP13/08/23 12:49 AM
3

Great advice, thank you. I think I’m going to follow my MAP until I get my life back on track and then see how I feel.
/r/askMRP13/08/23 12:48 AM
4

Well the lying is a big reason, the trashiness another. Feels disrespectful. I don’t agree with the idea that all bets are off until you’re fully official and apparently she doesn’t either, or she would’ve been honest from the start
/r/askMRP13/08/23 12:40 AM
5

Genuine question. She really was pretty obsessed with me at the time, hence why it came as a shock. She fixated on me obsessively for the next several years, which even bothered me and turned me off since she was so codependent and jealous. I’ve let myself go since, but I was definitely a catch at the time (even modeling part-time) and she frequently said that I was out of her league. Why do you think she did this then? To me it just seems like general slut behavior
/r/askMRP13/08/23 12:36 AM
11

Oh I see it now, I’m just explaining why I didn’t think so at the time. She was just so up on me all the time that I didn’t expect it, especially since she only got even more invested after we started dating.
/r/askMRP13/08/23 12:18 AM
2

Thanks man, I’ll see if I can find some group to help me get better where I live
/r/askMRP13/08/23 12:11 AM
-7

For real. She’s exactly my type, so that probably helped. Also was extremely into me from date 1, trying to impress me all the time, easily jealous, pushing for more attention. She wanted me so bad that she frequently told me she’d do anything for me and would follow me anywhere. I guess she seemed so into me that I thought this might’ve been out of the norm for her. I don’t care about one night stands (knew she had done that before we met here and there) but I do care about her doing this after…
/r/askMRP13/08/23 12:09 AM
2

The two guys were on a night when I wasn’t there
/r/askMRP13/08/23 12:08 AM
4

I think I was her best option in the past, but I let myself go during COVID unfortunately. I used to be a social dude, part-time model, doing great professionally, lots of hobbies, the works. During COVID, I gained weight, became isolated, lost touch with hobbies and friends. Still great professionally but lost myself as a person. I basically got pretty depressed and became significantly more beta. Trying to STFU but when I think of this I get pissed and hurt at the same time. I’ve been taking s…
/r/askMRP13/08/23 12:06 AM
2

I’m new, so I’m just not that strong yet, but I’m hitting the gym regularly. Also needed to lose some weight.
/r/askMRP13/08/23 12:04 AM
-14

She was so head over heels, almost obsessive, over me earlier in our relationship that I believed that she hadn’t been with anyone else since we met. She was that girl who always wanted more of my time and attention, got jealous easily, etc. It surprises me even now because she was trying so hard to impress me from night 1, texting me all the time.
/r/askMRP13/08/23 12:00 AM
1

Age: 28. Stats: 5’9, 195 pounds. Bench 130 Squat 110, Deadlift 160. Working on it Wife and I have been together for 5 years, married for 2. When we got together, she seemed like she was really into me. We fucked in the bar bathroom on our first date for example. Only dated for like a month before I asked her to be official, she said yes, and then spent a lot of time really wanting us to live together and then to get married. She was really into me until more recently. Her attraction to me is dow…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/23 11:29 PM
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