mensmentorizs Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
6	Emotional impact of divorce		mensmentorizs	/r/Divorce_Men	13/06/24 11:01 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
8	I knew what I signed up for There is also a link with perimenopause/ menopause and more women initiating divorce during this timeframe.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/08/25 03:29 PM
10	Found out my wife is a garbage human. Opening a relationship usually leads to complications. Maybe it's perimenopause. Women's personalities can change unfortunately. HRT can help. However we are past that stage, meaning things are already extremely chaotic. My guidance would be to keep it simple where you can. Avoid dating the gf, it will only cause more complications. Take time out to feel into this. This news is a shock. Great you've contacted an attorney. Know your rights. Surround yourself with friends you know you can trust, l…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/02/25 03:57 PM
2	I came out Congratulations for standing in the truth of who you are. It takes great courage, and may you go on to live enjoyable years with your true identity. An inspiring story for others here I'm sure!	/r/Divorce_Men	20/11/24 03:58 PM
5	Told wife I was leaving church, and she’s wanting divorce The Morman foundation is a cult and built from abuse. Congratulations for making a healthy decision for yourself. The fact that she hasn't spoken to you in 3 weeks says enough. In a healthy relationship a couple would talk this through, and allow the other to do what is best for them, even if they might not agree with it.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/11/24 11:42 AM
0	Wife had an affair First and foremost this is a situation between you and your wife, you must speak with her first. Your son is 18 years old and at college doing well, why rock his boat now? This is all very raw and painful, you've been together 25 years, this is a long time. Is one affair going to cost the entire marriage or can you figure it out?. As a couple you need to decide what to do next, once you have made your decision only then let your son know. There is no need to drag him into your drama until you ha…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/11/24 11:22 AM
4	Hard mode : loneliness and celibacy For absolute optimum and vibrant well-being, sexual energy must flow in a healthy way, that means either through self-pleasure, with a partner or through some form of tantric or other breathing techniques. When sexual energy is suppressed or abandoned it will negatively affect mental and physical health. It is an innate part of the human experience and it is also there to be enjoyed! Religion and other beliefs have produced a wealth of distortion, guilt and shame around one of the the most natur…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/11/24 07:32 PM
3	I lost my shit Lots of self compassion, self care, and create boundaries around her behaviour.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/11/24 07:13 PM
1	Wife leaving to possibly live in another country. With ADHD, consider treatment if she hasn't already done so. Meds can be very helpful for some, taking personal circumstances into consideration of course.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/10/24 04:09 PM
7	Thinking about getting married again You're barely out of divorce, you barely know each and you've only just committed to being a couple 2 days ago. Take your time, the is this person really right for me will take approx 2 years. Are your values aligned, what are her REAL intentions towards you, how do you cooperate in difficult circumstances, how do you argue, how are the financial behaviours etc. IMPORTANTLY mental health, any problematic behaviour can take time to emerge..... There is no rush, enjoy life without the added pressu…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/10/24 01:12 PM
3	She want alimony included in prenup "She is a nice lady but all she is asking screams red flag to me" listen to this voice. You've been together 1.5 years, not long enough, suggest talking about it again in 12 months and see how she reacts. You already have your answer, this move will reconfirm it.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/10/24 02:19 PM
1	The depths that my STBX goes to, to avoid taking any accountability for her actions… it’s actually pretty insane, and has pushed me to lose absolutely all respect for her. That's only how some women behave. An inability to say sorry or to take accountability for bad behaviour is a red flag! It can also be a sign of other mental health issues. There are women that have done self development that know how to take accountability and understand why it's important to do so, to maintain a healthy relationship.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/08/24 08:02 AM
3	A Pathetic story of my life....Trust me, I know its pathetic. A high self esteem is one of the most valuable 'tools' we can own. Through growing up, our conditioning, learned behaviour and life experiences our self esteem hasn't always developed to it's full potential. This is normal and very human! Your experiences sound like you have a "rescuer" tendency. Simply put (and it's more complex than this), you ultimately put other people's wellbeing before your own wellbeing. Learning how to take care of you first and foremost is key now. This includes underst…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/08/24 07:06 AM
4	First GF after divorce I cannot stress this enough, (speaking as a therapist and coach, helping men during and the rebuild afterwards). Taking the time to heal is critical, even more so for those that have come out of unhealthy relationships. 14 months seperated and 3 months since divorce finalised is very new. When you go through a healing process, you benefit profoundly and so does any future relationship. Rebuild your core, inner strength, confidence and trust. Radical self compassion for all you have been through.…	/r/Divorce_Men	25/07/24 09:06 AM
2	I don’t know who needs to hear this other than me As a men's advocate, I find this really disturbing. What is driving these women into this extreme? It can't just be women's empowerment.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/07/24 09:36 PM
1	Lost Trust in Women Yes it is, but it's possible with the right strategies in place. Many people, (men and women) either ignore the red flags or don't know about them and end up in a problematic relationship situation and one that isn't aligned. Also knowing your own relationship values is critical, and know what your deal breakers are etc. With these in place, you are much, much closer to finding a good match.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/06/24 06:33 AM
7	Lost Trust in Women 11 months out of such an intensely difficult marriage is not very long, and it is wise to be cautious. You need time to recover and to heal. You're doing all the right things to support your self-care, and you have a therapist. "Do any women actually appreciate men at all? I know men have to do the courting, make the effort to win her over, and I have no motivation after I did it all once and got nothing out of it but a major setback to my mental, physical and financial health". I would stay ver…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/06/24 04:17 PM
1	Emotional impact of divorce This is such great advice, thank you for sharing.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/06/24 07:49 PM
2	Emotional impact of divorce I missed this in your comment "She truly did not treat me well for most of our marriage"and then to go from one day to the next and completely ignore you, and then just file. Unfortunately this sounds like a mental health issue, and the type of behaviour you want to stay far away from. Importantly, this is not about you, or anything you have done, it's whatever imbalance inside her that's making her behave that way. Utterly confusing and some, make sure you get adequate therapeutic support. You …	/r/Divorce_Men	14/06/24 07:43 PM
1	Emotional impact of divorce Shame and guilt - self compassion, lots of self care and self nurturing. Make sure you take care of your nervous system, activating the parasympathetic to calm your body. Yoga Nidra is awesome for this, you can find some decent recordings on You Tube. Mindfulness techniques can also help. Breathwork and movement.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/06/24 07:20 PM
1	Emotional impact of divorce Did she get her hormones checked? Imbalanced hormones, particularly perimenopause and menopause can send women absolutely bonkers, behaving in completely irrational ways and beyond.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/06/24 05:41 PM
2	Would you take her back? She may have regretted her actions, and realised the grass isn't greener. However her reason for divorcing you still remains irreconcilable differences. To boot you didn't expect ever to hear from her again. Some questions to think about: How can you move forward like this? What needs to happen to resolve these differences? What steps would YOU need to take to feel emotionally safe and trust her after this? (If this is even possible) What steps would SHE need to take, for you to feel emotionally…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/06/24 06:20 PM
3	Would you take her back? What were her original grounds for divorce?	/r/Divorce_Men	09/06/24 09:42 AM
6	It's all my fault.... my son is a nightmare because of me... Boundries are really imperative here, first and foremost for YOU and your wellbeing. You need to maintain your energy for YOU and the children. Focus on your self care. You are making her the priority (2am call out), over your own needs (your sleep). You must, must stop this. You are doing WAY too much, and this is enabling her poor behaviour. The more you give, the more she will take. You are pouring your kind energy into a void. Learn how to be more assertive, it's a skill that can be mastered…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/06/24 12:11 PM
1	Should I stay or should I go A therapist can help you get more clarity here.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/06/24 11:32 AM
2	Uncommon scenario help wanted This! Moving back into your home is absolutely critical, asap!	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/24 04:42 PM
5	I Can’t Stop Crying Today 4 months in is very early. Cry as much as you need to, its a way to self soothe and process emotions. A therapist can help you to navigate your emotions and give you some coping strategies, particularly for days that feel utterly unbearable. There is an app called Calm, has various mindfulness tools and techniques that can help with anxiety, stress and sleep issues. YouTube is also good for mindfulness tools. Spend time with trusted friends. Exercise and healthy food, plenty of water. If you dri…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/24 04:18 PM
1	Should I stay or should I go What needs to change in this relationship for your to feel emotionally safe and feel that you can express yourself?	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/24 02:50 PM
3	It WILL get better gentleman. I was where you are now… Thank you for sharing your light at the end of the tunnel, and heart warming story. It pains me greatly to read that men are treated in such an appalling way, and with such accusations. Hormonal fluctuations can be extremely problematic for women, BUT there is so much that can be done now. Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) can help enormously, in many cases. If your women don't take responsibility for their hormonal health, and this type of behaviour starts presenting itself, you guys have got t…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/24 10:39 AM
2	Should I stay or should I go Do you feel emotionally safe in your relationship? Are you able to express yourself fully, without stuff being turned against you? Do you feel that your wife is committed to the relationship? Are you happy in this marriage? If the answer is NO to all of these, it's time to honour yourself fully, and do the right thing for you.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/06/24 03:05 PM
1	No more Mr nice guy Personality disorders are ordered into clusters, A, B and C. Cluster B traits, are specific patterns and behaviours that are in line with Cluster B personality disorders; e.g borderline, narcissistic, histrionic etc. This is a very complex topic, a diagnosis in these areas are often a lengthy clinical process. You can read an overview here on the Mayo Clinic site. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/personality-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20354463	/r/Divorce_Men	04/06/24 12:55 PM