| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 10 | Failed Comfort Test | miIkisforbabies | /r/askMRP | 01/09/19 03:02 AM | |
| 9 | Agree and Disclose | Basic Question | miIkisforbabies | /r/askMRP | 08/09/19 11:32 PM |
| 6 | How have you handled big disagreements? | Basic Question | miIkisforbabies | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 12:17 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| -2 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 17, 2019Not helpful. Why post bullshit? If you're going to make the effort to reply put in the effort to tear me a new one. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 17/09/19 01:54 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 17, 2019OYS # 2 | Previous This week I've realized how much I suck at providing comfort. If the wife is pissy or acting weird then I don't want to be around her. I guess I'm at the shitty comfort test phase and since they're shitty I just unplug. Simple avoidance of negativity. But what I have to do is see her as the oldest teenager in the house. Be an immovable oak and a safe place for her. Wife got the kids a kitten recently. I've always taken care of all the pets so I started taking care of this kitt… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 17/09/19 11:52 AM |
| 2 | UPDATE TO Frame.....Frame....Don't take his advice. That would be very butthurt. Go to the gym and lift. Find girls to flirt with. Work on your game. Get out of the house. | /r/askMRP | 13/09/19 01:13 AM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 10, 2019you are 90% there before Red Pill. Yep. The thing I love about the subtle art of not giving a fuck is how it talks about the importance of giving fucks to only important things and don't give fucks to unimportant things. it may be that you want her to be miserable until she loses weight It's not what I want. She was in a depressed mood all day today. I made sure I didn't probe her even though I knew what the issue was. I just tried to game/give comfort by giving her a kiss on the fore head and t… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 10/09/19 10:07 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 10, 2019I was 18% when we got married and we lifted together. Maybe there's some truth here. I can't wait to test this idea. Just a few more months. | /r/MarriedRedPill | 10/09/19 08:38 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 10, 2019Damn. If my wife starts lifting because I hit 12% bf I'll shit a brick lol | /r/MarriedRedPill | 10/09/19 08:34 PM |
| 1 | Agree and DiscloseAh gotcha. Why not use the standard reddit app? | /r/askMRP | 10/09/19 05:27 PM |
| 1 | Agree and DiscloseWhat? | /r/askMRP | 10/09/19 04:34 PM |
| 1 | Agree and DiscloseThanks. Here's my horseshit if you have any thoughts there. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/d24nb9/own_your_shit_weekly_september_10_2019/ezsx3sf/ | /r/askMRP | 10/09/19 04:32 PM |
| 1 | Agree and DiscloseYou're right. If you can offer any advice to my OYS I would appreciate it. | /r/askMRP | 10/09/19 02:39 PM |
| 1 | Agree and DiscloseCould be | /r/askMRP | 10/09/19 02:36 PM |
| 1 | Own Your Shit Weekly - September 10, 2019OYS #1 Been having a hard time telling the difference between shit and comfort tests. I made a comment that the cat has gotten fat. She said "so you like skinny cats huh" I laughed out loud and said yeah. She said that she tried to get in shape. I said "you did?" She's 60-70 lbs obese. She said yeah I saw a personal trainer. I lead her to this 10 years ago in our first year of marriage. I blurted out "yeah 10 years ago!" She had a dazed look on her face and after a moment of silence she said I'm… | /r/MarriedRedPill | 10/09/19 11:10 AM |
| 1 | Agree and DiscloseI know this intellectually. Just have to know it emotionally. That comes with work. | /r/askMRP | 10/09/19 12:10 AM |
| 2 | Agree and DiscloseGood story and thanks for the share. I've been in several professional settings and each have had their own dynamic. But I think there's a trend. When I was very low rank and produced results I received a shit ton of praise from upper management. But as I've gotten older and actually significantly more competent the praise went away and those directly above me never give praise and take little jabs whenever they can. This has caused me to just avoid them and avoid "Office Politics"... Keep my he… | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 08:28 PM |
| 1 | Agree and DiscloseDid you reply to the wrong comment thread? In my comment above I was wondering if shit tests extend to the work environment. | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 08:10 PM |
| 1 | Agree and DiscloseI don't think so. WISNIFG includes several examples with disclosure. You reiterating your oak like position. Broken record etc. sometimes even share additional info about your position. Not to explain or rationalize your position (as if you needed to defend it) but to communicate your position. I.e. this is where I am on this issue. I am right here. I also am there. | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 06:40 PM |
| 1 | Agree and DiscloseThe real answer is because I'm autistic. These tests are just annoying as fuck and they're wearing me down after years and years of them. With your guys help I'm seeing them as a positive and an opportunity. | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 03:35 PM |
| 3 | Agree and DiscloseThanks. I seem to notice shit tests at work as well. Not from everyone but from people close to the pecking order who is slightly above me in the social ladder. A boss who is the same age and his boss who is not much older than us. It's like they want to keep reminding themselves who is in charge. I could care less. I'm just here to get shit done. But it is annoying. | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 02:26 PM |
| 1 | Agree and DiscloseI remember reading a study that people's blood had high inflammation markers after drinking soda but not orange juice. But yeah I need to make the kids rely on water. I drink mostly water and coffee. For sweets I make them earn it so it's a reward. | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 01:57 PM |
| 1 | Agree and DiscloseYou win the internet | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 01:52 PM |
| 1 | Agree and DiscloseThis is good advice for adults and it's good to train kids with good habits they'll need as adults. I have mixed feelings though. I've heard stories of people being deprived of sweets as a kid and they go crazy once they hit college and have some freedom. Same with alcohol or whatever. We don't give them soda but I give them juice. It is just like pop as far as sugar content and insulin but at least it has some vitamins and antioxidants. But you're right about fake sugar. I should cut that out f… | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 01:49 PM |
| 2 | Agree and DiscloseThis needs to be higher up or even in the sidebar. There's tons of long posts on frame but autists like myself need a one line reminder like the equivalent of LIFT. Father Knows Best. FKB. This needs to be repeated regularly for noobs whenever DNGAF is mentioned. It's not enough to not give a fuck. You have to give a fuck about something and that something is your own opinion because you've done the research and have your shit together. DNGAFBFKB. Do not give a fuck because father knows best. | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 01:45 PM |
| 1 | Agree and DiscloseDamn. Thanks for this. She bought it for herself originally but I'm throwing it out. | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 01:18 PM |
| 2 | Agree and DiscloseYou nailed it. Thanks a ton. | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 12:24 PM |
| 3 | Agree and DiscloseGot it. Thanks. | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 12:21 PM |
| 2 | Agree and DiscloseI'm trying to figure out how I should respond. Yes it's autistic but I have to start with training wheels. | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 11:44 AM |
| 0 | Agree and DiscloseOk so perhaps I should preempt shit tests? Instead of answering questions directly go over the top until she reveals her intention for asking the question? This is another example of an issue I've noticed. When I ask questions I want the literal answer and I make conclusions on my own. So I'm seeking for more data. So I should either go over the top or ask a question to get at the underlying reason for her asking before I answer. | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 11:27 AM |
| 1 | Agree and DiscloseThat sounds super awkward. How did everyone else respond? Did you come out looking like a jerk or did she look like an annoying brat? | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 11:21 AM |
| 0 | Agree and DiscloseYour example is why I'm leaning toward agree and disclose instead of agree and amplify. It avoids any sarcasm or wit that come come off as retarded while at the same time maintaining frame. "It's for him." "That's too much sodium" "it may be but I think it's good for him." Or maybe not even agree and disclose simply disclose calmly and leave it at that. "I disagree". | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 12:51 AM |
| 0 | Agree and DiscloseCould a comfort test be phrased as a "you did"? Seems she isn't vulnerable enough to express any "I feel" and everything comes out as "you did". She doesn't feel the kids are safe, "have you done x,y,z? Imma remind you when you failed to do z." | /r/askMRP | 09/09/19 12:48 AM |
| 1 | How have you handled big disagreements?Shit advice | /r/askMRP | 07/09/19 09:16 PM |
| 2 | How have you handled big disagreements?She can tell I’m being honest and acting in our best interests. This is important. She needs to believe you have good intentions. I calmly explained Yeah you're in her frame. Like a good captain she listened to her first officer. | /r/askMRP | 07/09/19 08:00 PM |
| 2 | How have you handled big disagreements?Thanks. I need to make sure she is always defending her position instead of giving her the default position while I DEER. | /r/askMRP | 07/09/19 01:07 AM |
| 1 | How have you handled big disagreements?Good thoughts. Thanks | /r/askMRP | 07/09/19 12:26 AM |
| 1 | How have you handled big disagreements?Nice. I like it. Like a kid "why" | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 11:47 PM |
| 1 | How have you handled big disagreements?I like this. Thanks. | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 09:25 PM |
| 1 | How have you handled big disagreements?No. I'm not trash talking lol wtf | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 09:18 PM |
| 1 | How have you handled big disagreements?Statistics do not apply here. I'm not talking about every goddamn decision. Of course I'm not right about everything. I'm talking about the big decisions. We've only made a handful of big decisions in the past 10 years.. And we've only disagreed on 2 or 3. And yes I've correctly predicted how things would go but I went along to try to make her happy. I've learned the hard way that letting her make these big decisions, if I know they'll make her miserable guess what, won't make her happy even tho… | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 09:15 PM |
| 3 | How have you handled big disagreements?I have yet to experience that. Every time I gave in on big decisions I knew it was the fucking wrong decision and it turned out, it was the fucking wrong decision. I'm tired of letting her lead us into icebergs. Like someone said in this thread, I'm going to be held responsible anyway so I might as well do what I think is best. | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 08:37 PM |
| 1 | How have you handled big disagreements?I've given a stern no on this before and her building a house because it's too damn expensive. She gets angry and goes off while I stand confused thinking to myself what the fuck are you going to do divorce me? Good luck doing either of these as a single mom with 50% custody. I'm taking them to public school and the judge will mostly likely side with public school. What confuses me is how she feels entitled to those things instead of trying to convince me through any means, reason or being sweet… | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 08:05 PM |
| 0 | How have you handled big disagreements?So you'd be like "I don't care if you homeschool or not. Go for it." She cares about this more than me but I see it as being a disaster and harmful for the kids. It's not what they want or need. And I see it as a disaster for her. She overcommits her self, gets stressed out and has a nervous breakdown. As a captain I feel like I need to avoid the iceberg. | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 07:36 PM |
| 1 | How have you handled big disagreements?Good thoughts. And thanks for the WISNIFG reminder. I'll have to go back over this and create a list of questions to be prepared to ask. I think the root of the issue is an emotion. She doesn't want to let go of her kids. She doesn't want to miss a moment etc. I imagine she will have a really hard time when they go off for college. She was crying sending the youngest to kindergarten. My emotions were joy and happiness seeing how cute he was feeling proud to go to school like the big kids. She wa… | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 07:32 PM |
| 1 | How have you handled big disagreements?I'm sure I don't get it. But I'm learning. From what you just said I would say our needs are fully met in public school. Education, social/community, safety. Her homeschooling is a want. I can listen to her adhd feelz but this isn't something the family needs. It will make things worse. More stress more work. the real shit that matters should change his mind. Not the shit that doesn't. What I hear you saying is this isn't the real shit that matters and the fact that it's mattering to me is evide… | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 06:42 PM |
| 1 | How have you handled big disagreements?Thanks for the share. Means a lot. | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 05:54 PM |
| 1 | How have you handled big disagreements?"Get a masters in education and I'll let you homeschool our kids." | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 04:59 PM |
| 1 | How have you handled big disagreements?College Tears lol | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 04:43 PM |
| 2 | How have you handled big disagreements?Thanks for reading the question and sharing. I couldn't do a numbers business plan like this but I think I could ask her a lot of questions to let her feel heard and let her processes some of this out loud. | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 04:27 PM |
| 1 | How have you handled big disagreements?Wha the fuck is this | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 04:25 PM |
| 1 | How have you handled big disagreements?College years? | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 04:24 PM |
| 2 | How have you handled big disagreements?I actually let her homeschool our first born for a year. She couldn't handle it and she decided to put him in public school. She was complaining yesterday about the stress of taking the kids grocery shopping. The reason she wants to homeschool is to be with them more. But they drive her crazy. She's always yelling at them. It's not the education. It's not bullying. It's not anything about their needs. It's about her not wanting to let go. It's about her feelz. The oldest is thriving in public sc… | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 03:45 PM |
| 1 | How have you handled big disagreements?Welcome to Marriage - ie what happens when you decided to get the State involved. Damn lol. I actually looked up what the state thought and they tend to favor public school. So I have the state on my side in this case. I'm not going to mention that. I'll just say no whenever she brings it up and calmly keep going about my day. I know she will want reasons so she can argue against my reasons. I'll just have to fog and use negative assertion. Just keep repeating "I don't feel it's best" without gi… | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 03:19 PM |
| 5 | How have you handled big disagreements?She is a woman. Whatever she wants to do she feelz in the moment. Now it's homeschool, then it's a house, next it's having another baby, so on and so on.... I need to learn how to take her adhd feelz less seriously while considering her POV but still doing what is best for the crew. I know homeschooling will be bad for everyone. Especially the wife. She doesn't know how to limit her self and always over commits. | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 02:56 PM |
| 2 | How have you handled big disagreements?tactics Good insight. This is it completely. | /r/askMRP | 06/09/19 02:48 PM |
| 2 | Failed Comfort TestWill do. Thanks | /r/askMRP | 01/09/19 06:42 PM |
| 1 | Failed Comfort TestLol k | /r/askMRP | 01/09/19 06:02 PM |
| 3 | Failed Comfort TestThe nagging is a lagging indicator of her not being attracted to you. The nagging makes me unattracted to her. I want to get far away. She’ll find the smallest thing around the house wrong and shame you for it. Yup. Work my ass of and get shut done and she always finds fault. I expect it now. Why? Sounds like you are a hard worker... but you aren’t gaming her. I don't game her at all. She's over weight. It would be nice if she had a mindset like what RP encourages of OYS and get attractive etc. … | /r/askMRP | 01/09/19 04:23 PM |
| 2 | Failed Comfort Test60-70lbs over. I'm 20lbs over and know I have work to do. But yeah her weight doesn't exactly inspire me to try to game her. I'm going to try based on the advice here but not because I want to. | /r/askMRP | 01/09/19 03:38 PM |
| 0 | Failed Comfort TestGet some duct tape and put it over your mouth. What’s with all this overt communication? She’s not a guy Hmm. Ok. So I don't have covert contracts but I should have covert communication. I'll try that. If you want to give comfort - do it. If you don’t - then you probably don’t like your wife. Do you like your wife? I don't when she's acting like a bitch. I guess I'll try to game her and give comfort to see if that helps. | /r/askMRP | 01/09/19 03:31 PM |
| 3 | Failed Comfort TestYep that is what I needed to hear. It doesn't matter that I worked my ass off all day. I left empty energy drinks and dishes everywhere and I need to own that. | /r/askMRP | 01/09/19 03:22 PM |
| 0 | Failed Comfort TestIf your way worked, you wouldn't be here. You're right that's why I'm asking for advice. But hey, you clearly think you're right. I mean, things are going exactly how you want them right? There's no way you could be wrong. Just keep repeating the same stupid shit over and over. It's really worked for you so far. Why would I do that? I'm asking for advice on what I can do differently and trying to understand where I'm screwing up. I know I'm wrong. Otherwise I wouldn't be asking for advice. | /r/askMRP | 01/09/19 03:53 AM |
| 0 | Failed Comfort TestSo I should not only tolerate her tantrums. I should reward them? Hmm. K Edit: "Hmm. K" = I don't understand but I'll do it anyway. not sarcasm. | /r/askMRP | 01/09/19 03:38 AM |
| 0 | Failed Comfort Testk. I can work on passing these comfort tests. Its not how I treat my kids though. When they whine and complain etc I nip that in the butt | /r/askMRP | 01/09/19 03:21 AM |
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