~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 0 | A good way to incentivize more women to have children. Would be guaranteeing that women could continue to chase their dreams as well.1) why should women be incentivized to have more children? If it’s a population replacement statistic, sure. The world population is still growing though. Why not just allow for looser immigration quotas? You can maintain a population while cherry picking skilled immigrants like the US has been doing for decades. As I understand it, plenty of skilled and desirable folks are turned away every year after we hit some arbitrary quota per country. 2) how would you “guarantee” that women could have ch… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/24 11:49 PM |
| 1 | Do adult men without social circles really have a chance?If you’re a loner trying to date, I suspect essentially no chance. A woman would (and arguably should) likely ask herself: “if nobody else wants to hang out with this guy, maybe I shouldn’t either.” It also makes one a shitty conversationalist. And it is hell on your mental health. If you’re actually alone, you need to recalibrate your social skills with low risk social circles before you can successfully date. The exception is if you’re a new transplant to a city. There’s a 3~6mo grace period w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/11/23 01:22 PM |
| 3 | Would a lower male libido pill solve most male dating problems?Interesting thought experiment. While others have pointed out that such a pill would not do anything to address male loneliness, I would argue that it would help with loneliness to a lesser degree. I suspect that women generally find it difficult to grasp what lack of sex can do to a man’s psyche. Believe me, it’s not great. If a pill could essentially reduce a man’s libido with no other side effects, it would free up A LOT of his emotional bandwidth for other things. Those other things might ad… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/10/23 11:24 PM |
| 7 | What's the deal with women and height preferences?Probably because it’s a preference. The women who have made it a requirement are women who have no shortage of interested men, and they have chosen to use height as a way to filter out their dating pools. Dating is a free market. People can select based on whatever criteria they like. People can lie about their finances, careers, social status, etc. And at least initially, they can lie about their height. But that is a lie that is quickly rooted out on the first date. The other potential criteri… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/23 04:17 PM |
| 4 | Are men really not attracted to fat girls?Man here. I think the most accurate statement will be: most men, on average, are more attracted to thinner women than fatter women. Where you draw the line between thin/fat will vary. Some men will prefer fat. I suspect that the vast majority of men will prefer thin. And I also suspect that nearly all men will accept fatter (or thinner) than they truly desire. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/10/23 05:23 PM |
| 1 | Men are wanting women they don't measure up to and women are getting tired of dealing with it which is the main cause of issues between them.I’m fairly certain the delusion calculators are inaccurate, but they do serve the purpose of giving concrete numbers to whether what someone desires might be readily or not readily found. But I agree that people in general need to be better. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/10/23 11:04 PM |
| – | Men scaremonger women about being old and alone because that is their fearDisagree. Man here. I didn’t scaremonger. I contributed to PPD and DOT partly to work out my own thoughts. And while my own thoughts could often be summarized as “women over 33ish are only good for casual dating,” that has only ever been my personal opinion. If western society faces a population contraction because there’s a big cohort of women who remain childless/unmarried/unhappy into their 40s, so be it. All any of us can do is operate to optimize our personal lives. The last thing any ratio… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/10/23 10:57 PM |
| 1 | CMV: It's reasonable to want your partner to be "on your level" financially.I think it’s reasonable for all women to want that, but it will be mathematically impossible for all women women to obtain that. Last I heard, women have been outperforming men in academics and out-earning men at least on the entry-level and mid-level job markets. Established men only out-earn women at upper management. So if the trends continue, there simply won’t be enough men who are “at a woman’s level” for every woman to find a financial match. Besides, beyond a certain income level, it’s n… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/08/23 04:41 PM |
| 3 | CMV: The average man is attracted to the average woman. The average woman is not attracted to the average man.Half disagree. I think the more accurate statement is that the average man can find the average woman attractive enough to consider dating her, whereas the average woman can’t find the average man attractive enough to consider dating him. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/08/23 04:34 PM |
| 1 | Only poor/average men have a problem with gold diggersDisagree. If you’re poor/average, you don’t have much to lose. When you are in my tax bracket, a mistake with a gold digger can have a very real and significant impact on what I’ve worked to build. You could argue that I am not “rich,” and I would agree with this. But I am also not financially average, either. No clue what the standard deviation is on income or wealth nowadays, but I suspect that I’m at least 2 standard deviations above average by those metrics. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/23 02:35 PM |
| 1 | To the non-red pill men, do you agree with the notion that women ‘age out’ of their prime by 25? Why/why not?Shrug. I suspect that fertility is largely a function of things like viable egg count and overall medical health. If we know that viable egg count is defined at birth, then really it’s just optimal medical health after ovulation begins. With all the reports of people going through puberty younger, I would expect that the top of the curve should be in the teens. Can agree to disagree, but that’s my rationale. As for aging, I’m not trying to declare a one-size fits all. But anyone 25+ can attest t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/23 08:01 PM |
| 1 | To the non-red pill men, do you agree with the notion that women ‘age out’ of their prime by 25? Why/why not?I think that on-average, women age out of their prime “hotness” around 25ish. Metabolisms slow down, gravity takes its toll on the busty, sun damage takes its toll on the skin, etc. I would also guess that fertility is “highest” sometime around 16-20ish. Basically all you need is for someone to be physically matured. It’s not like eggs are produced as women get older. But this all depends on how you frame the word prime. If you frame it in terms of prime sexual desirability to all men on average… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/23 04:49 PM |
| 2 | Do women confuse their socioeconomic status with their SMV?Do women confuse their socioeconomic status with their SMV? Probably. But I would argue that the issue is trying to discuss things insofar as SMV/RMV, and also just social norms of not being too much of a braggart. As a man dating with intention, the main things I would look for in a woman are: 1) am I attracted to her, 2) is she attracted to me, 3) do we get along. In fairness, I filter out single mothers, smokers, and probably a few other things. Those are the only things that dictate whether … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/23 04:42 PM |
| 5 | The problem with unrestrained sexuality is that is unsustainable and unhealthy both individually and collectively.Hard disagree for individual health, soft disagree with collective health. Sexuality can be healthy or unhealthy depending on various factors. Unrestrained sexuality just amplifies that. As you articulate, every decision one makes has consequences, sexual decisions included. Where I disagree is the notion that there is some degree of sexual freedom that we should strive for. People are far too different to have a one-size fits all. So in a society, the only solutions I see are: 1) give everyone … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/23 04:29 PM |
| 1 | How do you justify asking for a woman with a low body count, if yours is high?Man here. I don’t care about body count in part because mine is significant. That said, it’s also not hard to understand why body counts have different implications. If a man has a high n-count, he was desirable enough by enough women to do so, and he chose to exercise his options. I think that most men would agree that on average, if a man is presented with the option to have sex with many women, he’ll exercise it. Ie: men are pigs. If a woman has a high n-count, it implies that either she want… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/23 09:34 PM |
| 1 | Do men like plus size women?Obviously can only speak for myself, but I do not find plus sized women, as depicted in your example pictures, attractive at all. They are invisible to me as far as dating goes. If there were a way to automatically filter them out, I would. I tried it once, and the sex wasn’t for me either. So for me, such women are also invisible for hookup material. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/23 05:01 PM |
| 1 | Women are allowed to complain about the suitors they get but men can'tI’m one of a few single men at work. It’s common courtesy to ask about each others weekends. Sometimes I have a spectacularly shitty dating experience and share it for entertainment. Sometimes there are single mothers within earshot. Also, I don’t work in tech, nor do I live in CA. If it’s taboo to bitch about a shitty date in silicon valley, well, good luck to those folks. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/23 04:57 PM |
| 11 | Women are allowed to complain about the suitors they get but men can'tDisagree. Man here. I’m fairly vocal about single mothers who misrepresent themselves until the first (or second/third) date, and about fat women who catfish me. Never once have I felt chastised for my preferences. Hell, I’m vocal at work about these things too. At least once in the presence of a single mother, unbeknownst to me. I don’t think that most people criticize others for complaining about the shitshow of modern dating. Regardless of whether the complaints are valid, hypocritical, etc. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/23 10:42 PM |
| 1 | Why aren't men hypergamous?For baseline “requirements,” I agree. For me, I would add: no single mothers and no smokers. That includes vapers. I dated one a while back, she didn’t reek, but her mouth tasted… weird. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/23 09:06 PM |
| 3 | Who stands more of a chance - women who've been 'fuck-zoned' or men who've been 'friend-zoned'?Probably equivalent traps. Conceptually, I might fuck-zone or friend-zone a woman. But she can be deep in a zone, or teetering on the border. A woman who I’ve deeply fuck zoned is never going to be relationship material, but neither is a woman who I’ve deeply friend zoned. As with most things, every situation is unique. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/23 10:56 PM |
| 4 | Women can be borderline autistic, even mentally and socially retarded and they will still be able to get guys, have dating options, overall, still be able to get into a relationship, but not so much the other way around.Half agree. Borderline autistic? Maybe. Socially retarded? Maaaybe for dating. If she’s so socially inept that she is a social liability, no man would introduce her to his friends/family. She’d be stuck in a cycle of casual sex. One could argue that this is a desirable outcome. Mentally retarded? Maybe for dating among other mentally retarded folks. There are more PC terms for it nowadays, in fairness. But I seriously doubt an average man would introduce such a woman to his friends/peers/family.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/23 12:57 AM |
| 1 | When you’re married and have children, what will your financial situation be?Understandable concern. That’s why I’m neutral on the matter. If I met someone who earned more than me- say 500k/yr- I’d be willing to drop down to half time. I enjoy my work, and I realize that parenting is closer to a 16yr commitment compared to say a 35yr career. I wouldn’t want to let my skills/knowledge fall behind. Fortunately (or unfortunately), the reality is that it is so unlikely that I’ll meet such a woman that this is more of a thought exercise than anything else. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/23 04:14 PM |
| 1 | When you’re married and have children, what will your financial situation be?I’d continue to work. She could work or be a SAHM. If she wants to work full time, we’d have to pay for a full time nanny. I can afford that now, so it really depends on her values and our collective financial goals. This is the one situation in which being a financially secure man gives you a hell of a lot of options. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/23 03:39 PM |
| 1 | Should men be friends or even partners with women who claim to hate men?I would argue that most heterosexual women don’t hate men. If your question is simply: “should men be helpful and polite to women who hate them,” my answer is that people should be polite to each other, because that’s the foundation of civil society. But nobody is obligated to helpful to anyone else. For example, plenty of people tell beggars on the street “sorry, I don’t have cash.” Polite, yet unhelpful to the beggar. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/23 10:04 PM |
| 3 | CMV: Sugar dating is a perfectly viable and maybe even recommendable dating strategy for some men and womenMan here. And I have dabbled in sugar dating. I agree that it is a viable strategy for some people, but disagree on the scope of “some.” A man needs to be okay with pissing away a considerable amount of disposable income to do this without seriously damaging his financial future. I think I set a budget of 2-3k or so. But that was after taxes, so really 4-6k/mo pretax. That’s basically 50-70k gross, which is already more than the average American’s annual gross income. Not only do you have to hav… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/23 09:49 PM |
| 1 | Should men be friends or even partners with women who claim to hate men?I don’t understand the question. If someone hates xyz, and you are a member of xyz, why do you need to worry about whether you should be friends with them? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/23 09:35 PM |
| 1 | "Working on yourself" is a two-way street where men can only learn and improve if they can, well... actually get to date women firstI agree that dating should be a fun experience. Yet a lot of things should work one way in this world, but they don’t. It’s an imperfect world. If you get a bunch of kids together, they’ll sort themselves out into cool kids and everyone else. And those in the everyone else bucket will continue to sort themselves out so that the kids who generally get along with other kids continue to socialize with other kids. The ones who don’t socialize well, are assholes, etc get left to themselves. Is this f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/23 09:31 PM |
| 1 | What would happen if (X) gender disappeared?Interesting thought exercise. I’ll bite. If men disappeared: infrastructure would crumble, there’d probably be a shortage of food, definitely be a shortage of transportation, etc. But I think women would be less violent. So it’d be a decaying kind of apocalypse. If women disappeared: enough men might question their purpose or something. I think there would be a critical mass of those men that I could see a fair amount of violent outbursts. Probably have a survival of the fittest for gathering su… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/23 09:21 PM |
| 4 | Women don't appreciate male breadwinnersYour OP needs a bit more context. This is way too broad a view. I’m going to straddle it because I think that women do appreciate male breadwinners, but it is difficult to quantify the value of household chores. As others have pointed out, if both people are working, then chores shouldn’t fall disproportionately one one person. Both parties need to eat, clean up, etc. If you think out-earning your SO by 10-15k gives you a free pass on your end of the chores, I would argue that your view underval… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/23 09:10 PM |
| 2 | CMV: Dating gets harder for men as they get older, not easierDebatable. To your credit, if you want to date fit women who aren’t single mothers, the options become very limited as you get older. If you get old enough that you’re willing to date single mothers, it’s easy. At least this has been my experience. I probably get one very attractive woman-initiated like/message/etc every month or so. Sometimes they share that they’re a single mother before a date, and I let the conversation fizzle. Other times they wait until 1-2 dates to share that dealbreaker.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/23 02:22 AM |
| 5 | What are some things men & women commonly say while dating that actually mean something else?Man here. Looking for potential wife/kids material. I’ve messaged “I’m mainly looking for something casual” to a woman who admitted to being a single mother. To your credit, what I meant was “you’re not marriage material for me, but I’m happy to see if you’re FWB material.” Turns out, she wasn’t that either. Since that date, if there are only face pics, I left swipe. “I’m not feeling a romantic connection, but I could see us being friends” is something I’ve also said/texted a few times. In one c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/05/23 01:47 PM |
| 1 | Women NEED Men More Than Men Need WomenI think that the specter of physical “violence,” via a governmental entity or not, is one way to maintain order in a society. But we’re also a social species. Collective shunning/ostracizing is also a powerful lever of influence. To the extent that men wield more power on average in the physical domain, I think women wield more power in the social construct domain. So ultimately, I don’t think that either sex needs the other more or less. I think we need each other similarly, just in different w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/23 06:50 PM |
| 1 | Question for red pillers: what if the woman is much smarter?Maybe an auto mod, maybe not. I don’t ascribe to any pill fully. I think there are grains of truth in each of the pills, though I probably skew a bit red/black more than blue. And I’ve made what I believe was a reasonable effort to understand the pills. That said, I was under the impression that a core red pill tenet is the phenomena of hypergamy. Unless I’m mistaken, would that not imply that a scenario of a higher IQ woman dating a lower IQ red pilled man is contradictory to begin with? That s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/23 06:43 PM |
| 0 | The mockery directed toward's peterson's crying on live Tv is proof of women's loathing of weak emotional men.Half disagree. To OP’s credit, I think women generally don’t find a man who displays emotional vulnerability sexually desirable. I think some individual women might find their man’s emotional vulnerability desirable in the context of an existing relationship if he does so sparingly and appropriately. I’m not aware of the mockery OP is talking about- I don’t care enough to follow social media like that. But I have watched the interview in full, and taken in context, I don’t know that many rationa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/23 06:30 PM |
| – | CMV as a Man Status and Money beats Looks easily, and anyone who disagrees is completely delusional.Hard disagree. I know a couple of guys who do regularly hook up with new women every week. Oftentimes several different women. Occasionally in the same day. By the money metric, I run circles around them. By the status metric, it might be a wash between me and the guy who is in a small local band. But both of them are noticeably more fit and taller than I am. At least in my anecdotal experience, money/status isn’t as important when it comes to casual sex. Relationships/living/starting a family/e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/23 09:14 PM |
| 3 | From a selfish male perspective, feminism and 'childfree' women are great for us.Disagree. I’m a similar demographic. I find that feminism/childfree movements have benefited me in some ways, but not others. Like you, over the years, I’ve slept with more women than I care to count from probably 19-40ish. The drive to get laid is strong. But unlike you, I would like to start a family. So in recent years, the childfree women, and even casual sex-oriented women, have become distractions. Searching for an unencumbered woman who is reasonably fit is now more challenging with all o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/23 09:08 PM |
| 2 | Game, pick up lines, and the like are a result of men forgetting how to use boundaries and assert themselvesMeh. Half disagree. As others have pointed out, your example is of a woman who already has a vested interest. But to your point, I think most men have been taught to suppress their assertiveness. I certainly was. If not taught to suppress, then perhaps not nourishing the instinct. Either case has the same effect. Where I disagree is your assertion that game/pick up lines are the result of this phenomena. Game/pickup lines/etc has existed for as long as dating and relationships have been a thing.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/23 09:00 PM |
| 1 | Do dating age men have any interest in having a friendship with a woman who is solidly nailed down?Man here. I generally wouldn’t go out of my way to befriend a woman who is taken. I have a finite amount of free time and emotional bandwidth to divert to making/maintaining friendships and dating. Unless said woman shares a lot of interests and is potential for “inner circle” friends, or she has a lot of connections to single women that she’s setting me up with, I don’t see the point. As an adult man, taking the time and energy to intentionally befriend a romantically unavailable is generally a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/23 10:41 PM |
| 5 | CMV: Most men would be content with women at least acknowledging how atrocious dating has become for males, rather than gaslighting them and insisting it was invariably something they were doing wrong or that it was their “personality.”Hard disagree. Men that are unhappy with their dating outcomes might appreciate women acknowledging their plight. But after getting that validation, they will want a solution. At the very least, most men favor actionable solutions to their problems. I see this all the time at work. I can take as much time as I like to gently tell a patient that their situation sucks and empathize with them, but their next question is invariably “how can I fix this?” And the honest answer is frequently “you can’t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/23 10:17 PM |
| 2 | is there such thing as in ''a fair criteria''?1) I take it LL is for lower limb? 2) Most people don’t need surgery. 3) Were you trying to offend me, or make an argument? I don’t think you were successful either way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/23 02:07 AM |
| 5 | is there such thing as in ''a fair criteria''?I don’t think he’s saying that at all. Hypothetically, if there were a huge uprising of angry women (say 1-2 million), I wouldn’t personally worry too much about the collapse of society. Short of multiple women working together to attack me, I can defend myself. Besides, women are less likely than men to take actions that are actually lethal. If you had a hypothetical huge uprising of angry men, I would personally worry about the collapse of society. There’s a reasonable chance that a single ang… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/23 12:38 AM |
| 3 | Fringe opinions promoted by engagement are skewing your conceptions of the other genderMostly disagree. I am a man who stumbled on TRP/blue pill, FDS, and peripherally MGTOW. I basically lurked on their forums for a bit to get a feel for what they were about, formulated my own opinions, and stopped. I don’t believe that social media is sophisticated enough to track my Reddit across devices (and usernames), but I could be wrong. Even if it did, it’s up the the individual to question the stuff they see and decide to integrate or refute it. I think it’s helpful to have a framework to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/23 08:07 PM |
| 5 | From Andrew Tate to Sneako to JustPearlyThings to Fresh&Fit, virtually every major Red Pill creator is right-wing or leans that way. Meanwhile young men, their target audience, continue to vote overwhelmingly for the left. This shows that TRP isn't working and will never be mainstreamI could be grossly misinformed here, as I only became aware of Tate a few months ago and watched a handful of clips, and stumbled on to Pearly things round table discussions a few times. I have no clue who sneako, fresh, or fit are. That said, I think Tate’s message is 80% accurate, 20% inaccurate, 100% poorly delivered. Pearly seems to drop in tidbits from Jordan Peterson, who I think is generally well researched but occasionally disingenuous about minor details. Her message, as far as I can te… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/23 12:38 AM |
| 27 | What advice do you have for women to avoid being pumped and dumpedMan here. Honestly I don’t think there’s a way to protect against that possibility. My advice would be to try to get better at efficiently figuring out whether you have compatible values/goals. If one woman can do that in 2 dates, great. If someone else needs 5, that’s fine. But once she’s figured out compatibility, if she’s attracted to him, then let things unfold as they will. I assume that this will take some trial and error to calibrate. That said, I don’t give a shit about n-count. But I do… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/23 06:19 PM |
| 1 | Men, under what (hypothetical) conditions would you become a sex worker?Honestly? Provided I could maintain anonymity (ie faceless), the rate limiting step would be economic viability. The main reason that I care about anonymity is because I suspect that being a sex worker would have adverse effects on my my day job. If it weren’t for that, I don’t think I’d care about anonymity either. But the lack of economic viability is the problem. The male sex drive is significantly greater than the female sex drive at a population level that there will essentially always be a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/23 09:48 PM |
| 3 | Many men who have nothing going for them and are low value try to get high value or attractive women, and then complain and moan that they’re “alone forever” but don’t ever lower their standards.Disagree. I don’t think men can lower their standards much more. As it is, if men are swiping right on the vast majority of women, their standards are not the rate limiting step. Last I heard, men right swipe damn near everything, and women swipe right very rarely. Since a match is a prerequisite to engage in conversation/banter and plan a date, I would argue that the rate limiting step is women’s selectivity. You could argue that women’s standards actually aren’t that high, and that men collect… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/23 01:47 AM |
| 5 | As a man, your perceived ability to get casual sex will define the tone of every long term relationship you haveDisagree. I think it’s more that our perceived desirability as a partner will define the tone of the relationship. Casual sex is just one part of the equation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/23 01:39 AM |
| 2 | I cannot understand why any person looking for a serious relationship would not support the FDS 3-month for sex strategy.Disagree. 1) FDS is some toxic shit. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything there that was remotely balanced or reasonable 2) I like sex. I think sexual compatibility is important in sustaining a long term relationship. I’m not going to waste 3 months courting someone only to learn that she’s got all sorts of hangups about sex 3) I like sex. I want a partner who also enjoys sex. If she can go 3 months without sex without a problem, I don’t want any part of a relationship with her. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/23 01:23 AM |
| 1 | Men Who Want A Family Are Biologically Forced To Date Women Under Roughly 35-43As a man who desires a biological family, I would argue that the cap is closer to 32-33ish. Maybe 35 if you’re bold. You have to factor in time in early courtship, time spent exclusively dating, (and for me) proposal/pre-wedding/honeymoon time before I’d want her to become pregnant. This is all the while knowing that women’s fertility is inversely related to her age. If you want to increase the age cap, then you’ll have to accept the higher chances of miscarriage, chromosomal abnormalities/speci… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/23 01:19 AM |
| 2 | If the future implies that 1/3 of people will remain unpartnered for their older age, it will be a nightmareAgree that the future is shaping up to be fairly bleak. Disagree that it has much to do with relationships and marriage. Nursing homes already are full, and people of all ages are not well informed about the cost of long term care. Younger voters already resent older voters. Do you think I’m proud to be part of the generation that will be the first to be worse off than my parents’ generation on average? Fuck no. There is a ton of low level millennial disdain for the baby boomers. Curiously, ther… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/23 01:24 AM |
| 1 | Money is SEVERELY overratedIn fairness I know next to nothing about Andrew Tate and only superficially about Kevin Samuels. From the one or two videos I’ve watched with Tate, he didn’t really say much about dating. From what I remember, it was more along the lines of “I worked hard, made a lot of money, and I don’t have time for women, but if I did, I wouldn’t commit to one.” I don’t see anything wrong with expressing that kind of opinion, even if I don’t share it. As for Kevin Samuels, I’ve watched a few of his videos. B… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/23 12:55 AM |
| 0 | Are you a ‘Traditional man’ worthy of a ‘traditional woman’? (Question for men who seek a traditional relationship)Meh, I don’t necessarily seek a traditional woman, but I’m open to one. Do I earn enough to support a household? Yes. By my estimate, I earn enough to support a SAHM and send 2 kids through private schools/college while taking one modest vacation a year. Adding a 3rd kid might be tight. Wanting a new German car every 3-5 years would also be tight, but might be possible. Can I provide physical safety? Half and half. I’m strong for my size, but I’m not an idiot. Besides, I’m not going to get in a … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/23 12:31 AM |
| 1 | Money is SEVERELY overrated1) you should really explain this LMS stuff in your OP. Not all of us are well-versed in whatever branch of TRP you’re referencing 2) I don’t know how money is really overrated in red pill. When I looked into TRP years ago, my take home message was 90% go lifting. 3) if your takeaway was that money is more important than lifting and being somewhat well dressed (ie looks), I think you just didn’t grasp TRP accurately. Or TRP has morphed into something really weird. 4) I will agree that money is o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/23 12:18 AM |
| 1 | The criteria women use to select men ( or the lack thereoff ) and the selection pressure it places upo the problems they encounter in datingI’m a man. If I want something, I go for it. And if I fail, I reassess my strategy, reassess whether I still want it, and then try again. Dating is no different. You have to accept the likelihood of rejection in order to appreciate the possibility of something more. It’s fine if women want to bitch about men being aggressive or creepy. That shit happens for sure. But if you individually internalize that bullshit and resign to not ask women out unless there are glaring signals that she’ll say yes… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/23 12:03 AM |
| – | I feel less driven to pursue my goals in a high paying field as a woman because I value a traditional relationship.Presuming that you aren’t in grad school now… 1) if you want an MD, the soonest that can happen is when you’re 30. 2) if you want a PhD, maybe 32-34, depending on how productive you are in publishing 3) if you want to prioritize meeting someone and getting married by 30, you can definitely do so while pursuing an MD or PhD. It will come at the expense of being the top student, since there are always others who would forsake dating (or other activities) in lieu of studying more. But there is a re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/04/23 08:02 PM |
| 1 | Why would any high value male date an FDS woman?Depends on the baggage. I personally love it when she begins to share some of her baggage early on. It allows me to more quickly decide whether there’s a future worth pursuing. But beyond that, I agree on valuing myself. I have enough self respect that I’m generally not going to tolerate bullshit from any woman just to get into her pants. Maybe it’s because I’ve slept with enough women that the extra notches don’t interest me as much. Maybe it’s something else. I like to tell myself that distrac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/04/23 02:27 AM |
| 3 | Does the prize does get a prize for waiting to be given?You’ve got to clarify because the scenarios you outline don’t make any sense. If I want to go out with a woman, I ask her out. That’s it. If she also wanted to go out with me and was waiting for me to make the move, that’s okay. If she also was going out with other men and then decided that I was the best man, that’s okay too. Neither woman is more or less desirable than the other. Frankly, they’re both equally passive in dating. I would argue that a woman who knows that she wants you and who th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/23 09:42 PM |
| 8 | Why would any high value male date an FDS woman?I wouldn’t date an FDS woman. In fairness, it’s been a looong time since I lurked on that sub to learn about it. It’s possible that I’m not a prototypical HVM. I’m a minority and I’m shorter. But I’m in good shape, have a full head of hair, and a solid career. But the values that I remember being espoused on FDS just rubbed me the wrong way. I’ll still pick up the check on dates because that’s how I was raised. But if I ever so much as got a whiff that a given woman expected me to always pay, I’… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/23 09:37 PM |
| 2 | Men's SMV doesn't actually increase with aging.Mixed. Getting older alone doesn’t make anyone more desirable. Looking good is what matters. But since most people look shittier as they get older, it is relatively easier to become relatively more attractive as a man gets older provided he stays in shape, strives towards his career goals, and if he’s fortunate, retains his hairline. Provided a man does those things, he ought gain some relative desirability in the dating market. But I don’t think that this is a result of aging itself. Perhaps it… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/23 09:18 PM |
| 2 | If you marry in the US, you should only marry someone who earns the same or more than you, and divorce immediately if they start earning less.Disagree. Certainly for me. But broadly, I think it depends on why one wishes to get married. I am a single man who earns in the top 1-3% of household incomes, depending on what dataset you want to cite. The number of single women earning incomes similar to my own who are in my life stage is likely a vanishingly small portion of the population. If I only considered marrying a wage-competitive woman, I might as well take marriage off the table entirely. And I’m not ready to do that (yet). So for … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/23 09:12 PM |
| 1 | Women still need men, maybe more than ever, but not in the same wayThat’s not exactly a perk. Once you’re in a position of financial strength, the last thing you want to do is to flaunt it. I don’t want a target on my back for people to try to sue me or for me to interact with the gold digger types. Besides, part of the reason for my financial health is that I don’t spend on flashy things. Most of my possessions aren’t dissimilar from those of someone who earns perhaps 50k/yr. Also, like every other man, I want to be wanted for who I am and not necessarily what… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/23 02:47 PM |
| 1 | FBI documents reveal that Red Pill terminology like "Chad", "Looksmaxxing" and "Red Pill" itself is being flagged and monitored as an indicator of incel violence or racial/ethnic based extremism. How if at all do you think this will impact TRP as a source of dating/life advice?Meh, I don’t think they’re wrong to do that. I suspect that all it would do is start a game of cat and mouse where fringe TRP content like that gets pushed deeper and deeper into the recesses of the internet. I won’t pretend to be an expert on TRP, but the time I spent reading about it seemed like it was 90% the same as mass-market dating advice. I understood “core” TRP to be basically 1) lift, 2) get your career going, 3) lift, 4) curate a grown-up wardrobe, 5) lift, 6) talk to women, 7) lift, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/23 02:04 PM |
| 1 | Women still need men, maybe more than ever, but not in the same wayDisagree that real wealth is labor. Would more accurately say that real wealth is initially derived from labor. I don’t think women are (dramatically) disproportionate recipients of wealth redistribution policies. There are plenty of men on disability and other federal programs. In fairness, I’m not interested enough to look up stats. Also disagree about society being a contract between women and top earning men. As a top earning man, I don’t really get much in the way of contractual benefits. I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/04/23 02:40 PM |
| 9 | Now that we live in an era where women work and make their own money, why is a man's money/career still so important for women?Meh, could be the wrong way for some folks. Could be the right way for other folks. It’s up to people to make the right (or wrong) decisions for themselves and live with the consequences (or windfalls) of those decisions. I would say that it would be bad for a society if a critical mass of people decided child-free life was optimal. But for individuals? Let them do what they will. There’s a lot to be said for the benefits of traveling. It really opens your eyes to different cultures, values, cui… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/04/23 02:25 PM |
| 1 | Your probably focusing on the wrong stuff in dating?Don’t get me wrong, curves are great. Where I live, however, there’s a very large cohort of women who are easily medically obese. I usually search 27-32, so that plays a role in the fat distribution. If I wanted to include 18-32, for example, I’m sure I’d rate many more women as “not fat.” But realistically, I don’t expect to find a solid partner with that wide an age gap. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/04/23 02:19 PM |
| 1 | Your probably focusing on the wrong stuff in dating?I’d estimate that I swipe right on about 10-25% of women. Maybe less. Most of the left swipes are easy on the grounds of fat or single mothers. Some are unfortunately unattractive. But I’d estimate that fat, single mothers, and grossly incompatible lifestyles (country life vs city life) account for the vast majority of my left swiping. Being unattractive, stuff like excessive tattoos/piercings (which I suppose is an attraction factor), etc probably account for 20% or less of my left swipes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/04/23 11:58 PM |
| 2 | Do you think in general having high social status allows men to get the highest quantity/quality of woman?Meh. I’d choose looks. By most metrics, I am high status. And if I am honest, my looks (including height) are my rate limiting step. In fairness, I also generally don’t broadcast any markers of my status on dating apps. That’s just stuff that comes up in basic getting-to-know-you conversation. It’s also possible that I don’t have high social status. But if I don’t, then I don’t know what the people of PPD consider high status. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/23 12:57 AM |
| 1 | Your probably focusing on the wrong stuff in dating?Disagree that we have “cheapened dating by a lot” I suspect that dating has always been about trying to meet someone who you’re attracted to and who finds you attractive, and hoping that your respective values and personalities are similarly compatible. At least I would bet that this is what it’s always been like for men. I’ve never felt pressured to try to find an 8+ influencer. I do feel pressure to be in shape, and I do my part in that endeavor reasonably well. In turn, I simply am not attrac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/23 12:40 AM |
| 1 | CMV: pushing RP theories like the wall encourages immature women with very little life experience to make rushed decisions about who’s genes to pass onDisagree. Hell, most people here can’t seem to agree on what this metaphorical wall even is. I believe one wall is the point at which a woman’s combination of attractiveness/age/etc adversely affects her desirability that she notices a difference in the quantity and quality of attention she receives. And another wall might be the age at which men who are looking for wife/family/kids material will simply pass because of fertility concerns. For me, that’s 32. I think that it should be self evident… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/04/23 07:10 PM |
| 0 | CMV : As a Man i believe using Game and Manipulation is immoral, but i believe u have to do it because otherwise u cant compete, and this is actually sad.Half disagree. I agree that being manipulative and using “game,” as you describe it in OP, is immoral. I disagree that men have to do it in order to compete. I would agree with the statement that some men have to do it because they can’t compete though. And for those men, I think the situation is sad. I think that for those men, it is sad enough that they’re at high risk for developing a deep seated disdain if not hatred for women, which in turn will ultimately be counterproductive if their obje… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/04/23 06:55 PM |
| 1 | Women should identify RP rhetoric and run away from whoever is saying it, or should they?Neutral. There are many RP principles that mirror standard dating advice that most people will agree with. What RP adds/emphasizes, as I understand it, is that women will always trade up, so a man should continuously improve himself while never committing to a given woman, lest he be screwed. I would argue that the truth is more along the lines of: “women will generally trade up if given the opportunity prior to establishing a relationship with a given man, so a man should continuously improve h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/23 10:48 PM |
| 1 | Can most men really afford to cut off women who don't reciprocate their effort?Two issues: 1) can most men afford to cut bait if a woman isn’t putting in effort Most men? Probably not if they want to have some semblance of dating life and insist on online dating. Although if men en masse started to become picky, I would think that this would lead to women having to put in effort to continue to get the attention they currently get. But I don’t think we are coordinated enough to collectively demand more of women. Should men continue to put forth the lions share of effort? I … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/23 10:41 PM |
| 4 | Why not look for a woman with a career?Man here. I don’t look for women with a career because as it stands, filtering out fat women and single mothers already narrows down my dating pool enough that I’m not overwhelmed with matches. Why add a requirement unless I’m overwhelmed with matches? To your other points, I earn a healthy enough salary that most incomes wouldn’t have a material impact to me. Like you, I suspect the same cannot be said of most men on ppd. But I think it is important that people know that men of means don’t care… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/04/23 11:27 PM |
| 1 | Alpha Women and Boss BabesBoss babe sounds like some newfangled bullshit to me. No clue what personality traits to expect, but I suspect a bunch of undesirable traits off the bat. Never came across anyone who has identified this way. Maybe it’s a maturity or a confidence thing. I’m not really intimidated by any woman I’ve ever dated or seen on a dating app. For the stuff that counts, like personal integrity, I am confident in mine. For stuff like raw attraction, I don’t find myself intimidated. I’m more entertained when … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/04/23 09:53 PM |
| 0 | Would you ever give a reformed OF model with a promiscuous past having a high body count a chance if she changed her ways ?If she was 18-21ish when she dipped her toes in it for a few weeks before figuring out it wasn’t for her, sure. But if she didn’t have the common sense to not do it after college? Nope. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/04/23 09:06 PM |
| 2 | How many of you genuinely love your partner?To answer your question: would a relationship survive a 1mo break without sex? Yes, it would. But more important, in my mind, is why is the break needed/desired? There’s a big difference between “this is getting serious and I’m getting scared, so I want to put the relationship progression on ice while I figure this out,” and “I don’t really enjoy sex with you anymore, so I want to see if I’ll miss it after a month.” Also, I agree that a lot of us can write in almost apocalyptic terms about sex a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/23 09:21 PM |
| 2 | What type of clothing do you prefer on women?I haven’t been super active on PPD lately, but I don’t think men here have indicated they prefer women who dress femininely as opposed to behave/value femininity. As to your question: do I prefer women dress modestly? Sort of. I prefer the women I date to dress in a way that is flattering to her figure without explicitly showing so much skin that I’d feel embarrassed to be seen with her. But that’s my preference. Hell if I’m going to dictate what my partner wears. That’s a road that I don’t care… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/23 04:19 PM |
| 3 | If you have sex with someone who wants to be in a relationship with you, does it mean you take advantage of them?To your title: if I have sex with someone who wants to be in a relationship with me, have I taken advantage of them? I would say the answer is that it depends, but generally not necessarily. I can be lukewarm about a woman from a relationship standpoint. Say she’s attractive enough to date, but not attractive enough to offset some personality or personal value quirks. If it turns out that we’re super sexually compatible, I could see myself putting her into a relationship material category after … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/23 04:09 PM |
| 1 | How fit men should deal with overweight women on OLDWhy the hell does this matter? I’m a fit man. As it stands, I left swipe fat women. But if in some alternate universe I were attracted to fat women, and I matched with a fat woman, why should I start asking them pejorative questions? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/23 12:55 AM |
| 1 | My daughter’s dating/marriage prospects ?Honesty? As far as I’m concerned, she’s only good for casual sex or a situationship. And even then, I’d be very wary. BPD- I’ve met some patients with it, and some folks in real life who may have had it. It’s not fun. Hard pass for a relationship. I wouldn’t want her to know where I live either. Felony-hard pass for a relationship. Meth-hard pass for a relationship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/23 06:47 PM |
| 3 | How do you explain successful men that end up marrying sluts?The most straightforward reason might be that… we don’t give a shit about a history of sluttiness. Another reason might be that we are attracted to what we’re attracted to, and we’re willing to overlook A LOT to get it. For my part, I don’t care about a history of slutty behavior UNLESS she cheated. If she cheated, then as far as I’m concerned, she’s only good for casual sex. And yes, I’m willing to overlook a lot of “nice to haves” if she is hot enough. My priority list is basically 1) attracti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/23 05:20 AM |
| 2 | The “modern woman” is changing, and the “modern man” needs to adapt to the changePlease clarify: transactionalism insofar as? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/23 02:41 PM |
| 2 | What is really a "10" to men objectively speaking?I think objectively speaking, there’s enough variability in what men find attractive that a consensus is not possible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/23 03:59 AM |
| 1 | Guys, you have 2 options, which would you choose?So two women of different ages, but equal fertility. One is hot, but the other is not? Duh. I’d go with the hot one. (Presuming the 23 year old “look” is what I find hot) In reality, fertility is heavily biologically determined and declines with age. As long as I continue to look for wife/family/kids material, my apps filter out anyone over 32ish. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/23 03:54 AM |
| 8 | The “modern woman” is changing, and the “modern man” needs to adapt to the changeMeh. Agree that the modern woman is changing. Disagree that the modern man needs to adapt to the change. Modern men and women are changing together. And they’ve changed together. In other words, modern men have been adapting the whole time. To your credit, I agree that men who aspire to be in relationships should work on making themselves more desirable to the women they want. The counterpoint is that women who aspire to be in relationships should similarly work on making themselves more desirab… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/23 03:30 AM |
| 1 | Dating is location specific and a person doing 'poorly' dating often means they are in a sub-optimal locationStill disagree. My lifestyle is not monetarily constrained. For the sake of argument, let’s assume you’re right. Let’s say that 7.5M/yr is the threshold to make dating easy for a man. Is that a realistic enough goal to make this good advice? I would say no, because exceedingly few people are capable of ever earning 7.5M/yr. It is better to focus on obtainable and realistic goals. Besides, what kind of dating market do you imagine a 7.5M income opens up that doesn’t require one to be at least som… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/23 01:34 AM |
| 1 | Dating is location specific and a person doing 'poorly' dating often means they are in a sub-optimal locationI think you’re missing my point entirely. I earn a comfortable living as a physician. And I am reasonably fit. Yet I don’t still don’t have a killer dating life. More money isn’t going to miraculously change my dating outcomes. Neither will moving to (most) other cities. I’ve lived in 4 major metros as a physician, and my experience would support that relocating would not be effective. In my experience, regardless of income, I would be invisible to women if I neglected my fitness or were incapab… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/23 12:59 AM |
| 1 | The reason why older male/younger female age gap relationships are shamed:Disagree. If you’re arguing that the presence of a physical power differential is shamed, then most relationships would be subject to that shaming since the average man is physically stronger than the average woman, period. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/23 11:30 PM |
| 1 | Dating is location specific and a person doing 'poorly' dating often means they are in a sub-optimal locationStill disagree. Beyond maybe 100k, I don’t think money makes a big difference. If it did, someone like me should be overwhelmed by matches when I list my occupation on dating apps. I’m not. To your credit, if I’m in a dry spell for matches/dates, I list my occupation on a dating app or two to get things going again. But it’s not obvious to me that those women were throwing themselves at me sexually. And somewhat frequently, I choose not to ask women out for second dates. If your argument is that… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/23 11:27 PM |
| 1 | Dating is location specific and a person doing 'poorly' dating often means they are in a sub-optimal locationDisagree. I wouldn’t say that the relative contribution of location is sufficient to blame enough to attribute dating success to it more often than say, fitness, charisma, etc. There are a handful of cities- looking at the tech hubs- where there is a systemic abundance of male dominated careers that also happen to be highly compensated. And for some folks who live in those cities, I would agree that location might be their rate limiting step. I suspect that beyond say 5’7”-ish (so 2/3 of all men… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/23 11:12 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: What do you, personally, do for women in general that they fail to do for you ?I don’t really feel exploited. Some in my position may feel differently. I could see how some might feel that picking up the check on first dates is a form of exploiting historic gender norms. I just choose restaurants that I want to eat at, and I order what I want to eat. That means that typically, my meal is at least 60% of the check. Sometimes it’s closer to 80%. I don’t care about paying a bit extra. Hell, I wouldn’t care if I were consistently ordering <50% of the check. As long as I’ve pre… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/23 06:20 AM |
| 7 | Why would the most attractive guys consistently go for a normal girl?1) you might be more attractive than you allow yourself to believe 2) generally speaking, most of the Instagram type models look attractive to other women as much as they are attractive to men. The “made up” beauty that women like to compliment each other on isn’t as appealing as you might believe. Sure, most men wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to have sex with an IG model. But most of us expect those types to be a bit narcissistic and high maintenance. And those are two (generally) unattract… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/23 03:48 AM |
| 2 | Q4M: What do you, personally, do for women in general that they fail to do for you ?I don’t have a clue what the men on here are like. Presuming that the men here constitute a fairly representative sample of the broad population, a big assumption, I would expect that the vast majority of men here lack the “it” factor to be viscerally desired. And perhaps at least half lack the willpower to do what it takes to develop their “it” factor. For my part, I’ve been sexually objectified a handful of times in my life. It’s fucking awesome. Except for the one time I had to fake it so tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/23 03:41 AM |
| 1 | You should not shame people for liking someone that's fat, it's already hard enough to date as a fat personMeh- part agree, part disagree, mostly think you’re framing the entire issue wrong though. 1) If your friends are cockblocking you, or otherwise shaming you for your dating “wins,” they’re not your friends. They’re just toxic people. 2) agree that we should not shame individuals for liking fat people. That’s fucked up. 3) disagree that we can’t societally shame fatness. Or at the very least, I strongly disagree with fat acceptance. It’s objectively unhealthy, for one. 3b) More broadly, what do y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/23 04:36 PM |
| 8 | [CMV] Men who seek to date conventionally attractive women are compensatingHard disagree. I pursue and date conventionally attractive women because I am attracted to them. My definition of conventionally attractive may be slightly more broad, but it is always going to a look that I find attractive. At the end of the day, either my dick agrees, or it doesn’t. And I’m not doing anyone any favors by ignoring that. Someone could call me fat phobic, trans phobic, age-ist, racist, or any other bigotry-aligned label. They might be right. But I’m not going to fight my base des… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/23 04:24 PM |
| 4 | Q4M: What do you, personally, do for women in general that they fail to do for you ?Then get better at identifying when someone isn’t attracted, and have the confidence to walk away from being a doormat. I personally don’t think I’m very skilled at identifying that, and I fall prey to sunk cost fallacies as much as anyone else. So my workaround has been to set milestones/goals by dates, and if I fail to reach them, I move on. Same effect. Will I miss out on someone who is slower to warm up to me? Yep. If I’m honest, do I care? Nope. I want to be desired viscerally. My other att… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/23 03:22 PM |
| 8 | Q4M: What do you, personally, do for women in general that they fail to do for you ?One solution is to escalate dates to at least weekly, and set a limit as to how many dates you’re willing to go on before deciding when to cut your losses. For me, if we haven’t kissed or if she hasn’t become more engaging in-between dates by the third date, I lose interest. Same if we haven’t had sex by the 10th date. Although I probably start to shift my attention if we haven’t had sex by the 5th/6th date. It’s a matter of picking cutoffs that match your ability to advance things physically an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/23 03:17 PM |
| 11 | Q4M: What do you, personally, do for women in general that they fail to do for you ?Nothing dramatic, I would say. On dating apps, I’ll swipe right on marginally desirable profiles. I think it has been long established that women are much more ruthless in their swipe selectivity. Once matched, I’ll generally initiate the conversation and keep it going. But if she simply answers a question directly and doesn’t engage in conversation after a while, I take the hint and chase someone else. Single women in the dating pool are generally shitty conversationalists. The exception being … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/23 10:16 PM |
| 1 | Do you care about a women's career or level of educational attainment in a partner?Man here, not red pilled, but I am somewhat aware/informed of their principles. A woman’s career or level of education aren’t criteria for me. They’re nice bonuses, but not necessary for my partner selection approach. I hold a terminal degree and earn more than probably 90% of households in the US. And I’m insured to guarantee that income if something were to happen to me. I don’t need a second income or a highly educated partner. What I need is a partner who I get along with, share some values/… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/23 11:21 PM |
| 0 | CMV: The female expectation of looking physically attractive is way, WAY more easier than the male expectation of being a provider.Disagree. All I did was do reasonably well in school, and followed the path laid out in front of me for a reasonably well-compensating career. It wasn’t difficult, but it did take determination and some focus. And it required that I sacrifice the pursuit of dating/fun in my 20s to study. But it wasn’t difficult. In contrast, a woman has to (generally) keep her BMI around 20 or so. In western society, that means eating like a third of a serving of anything, and probably being perpetually hungry 2… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/23 11:10 PM |
| – | How will sex robots affect dating?Don’t think it’ll improve dating for women very much. Even if indistinguishable, there’s something different about knowing that you seduced a woman of your own accord. Now if there were a bunch of sex robots on the apps and they only told you they were a sex robot after you got laid… I’d say women would actually have a more difficult time. Now they face steep competition from some number of sex robots. The only way I think a theoretical sex robot explosion could improve dating is if all of the u… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/23 11:05 PM |
| 1 | How picky do you think you would be if you were an attractive woman?Probably super picky. I suspect I would engage in as many conversations as I could reasonably juggle, go on as many first dates as I could coordinate, and I’d reject men ruthlessly. So, pretty much I’d do what I think women do at present. It’s just behaving rationally. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/23 11:00 PM |
| 1 | Money does not have the influence that many men here believe it hasEh, I have mixed feelings on this. I agree that money is not as important a variable as many here suggest. Anecdotally, I’m living proof that money doesn’t work. I believe I’m in the top 3rd percentile of earners give or take, and while I routinely match, chat, and go on first dates, it’s not like I’m drowning in matches. I’ll concede that I’m fairly selective in my right swipes, and I’ll concede that going on a couple of first dates a month regularly is better than being shut out entirely. But … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/23 10:57 PM |
| 36 | Boyfriend/Husband Material Men Getting Less Than What Other Guys GotQuick thoughts: why the hell did Jake agree to a 6-month celibate period to begin with? why didn’t jake keep seeing other women during said 6-month celibate with Sarah period? why did jake keep seeing Sarah when he lost attraction to her? Seems like both Jake and Sarah need to develop better critical thinking skills. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/23 02:48 PM |
| 1 | What is the actual point of PPD?75% venting, 20% debating, 5% maybe learning something new. For me, writing out my thoughts is fairly therapeutic in and of itself. Sometimes I’ll start writing a reply to some post only to realize that I can’t string together a cohesive argument, and OP actually has a point. Sometimes I get distracted and don’t submit. But the point is: writing is a good tool for me to synthesize my thoughts. And I am fairly sure that PPD is what turned me onto some of the YouTube channels that go a little bit … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/23 01:30 AM |
| 3 | TRP is slowly becoming more and more mainstream, what is this going to mean for the future?I’m not sure, but I suspect there might be more polarization and a reactionary movement towards conservatism from our youth because liberal values are beginning to leave them in the cold. That said, I don’t think this is TRP becoming more mainstream as much as it is conservatism becoming more mainstream. One could also reasonably argue that I’ve been at my tax bracket long enough and am getting old enough that the natural tendency is for folks like me to switch political allegiances. Speaking fo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/02/23 10:51 PM |
| 7 | Modern dating is like a housing bubbleI see what you’re trying to do here, but it’s a shitty analogy. Buyers can hold out for something they like that’s within their budget, expand their budget, or give up some desirable features to get something “good enough” within their budget. In short: offer more, demand less, or keep looking. This is true in most aspects of life. And there’s nothing wrong with it. If people want to be perpetual renters, more power to them. Folks like me will happily take their rent money… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/23 11:39 PM |
| 2 | Men actually do have high standards for LTRHalf agree. Man here. I do have “high” (or at least higher) standards for an LTR, and I drop a lot of them if it’s for casual. The threshold for casual is “am I attracted to her physically”? Obviously I won’t go screwing someone crazy, but all of the other stuff I look for in an LTR doesn’t matter if she’s only looking for something casual and my schedule can accommodate seeing someone casually while continuing to date for wife material. Where I disagree is that she must have “a great face” for … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/01/23 08:04 PM |
| 1 | Besides sex, do you even like women?Do I see women as equals? No. Men and women are different. We will never be equal. We can treat each other with respect though. Do I think we can connect intellectually? Yes. Do I think an intellectual connection is the basis for a relationship? No. It can be (arguably should be) an important part. But I do not think that an intellectual connection is necessary, nor do I think it is sufficient. Perhaps my definition of an intellectual connection is far more involved than what you envisioned thou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/23 10:51 PM |
| 1 | Men who worry about the look of their offsprings/genetics, would you care if your found out your SO had some plastic surgery done to her face?I would like to have attractive children only insofar as I fully recognize that being attractive confers advantages in life, and I want my kids to have every advantage possible. Earned or not. But to answer your question “would I care if my SO had plastic surgery done,” the answer is: maybe. What I would care about is why she had the work done, what does that tell me about her character/values, and do I even find that attractive? If it’s a basic self confidence thing, no big deal. If it’s wantin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/23 10:36 PM |
| 1 | Female Centric Dating Advice is so wrong it hurtsI don’t follow whatever sub you’re citing. That said, a loooong time ago, I did lurk on female dating strategy. I will agree that the advice I saw there was bogus. As for the stuff you describe, I’ll also agree that most of that would be ineffective on a man like me. I pursue a woman a bit in the beginning, but as I share more about myself, I expect her to start pursuing me. Mixed messages doesn’t make me pull away, I just end up ghosting. Where I take issue is you declaring that this makes one … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/23 10:31 PM |
| 2 | Dating women with a body type opposite to your preferencesDid it once. Was terrible. Would not recommend. Would not repeat. There are few things worse than awful “when will this be over” sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/23 10:15 PM |
| 2 | When men are unable to get a wife, ultimately they will resort to betraying their tribe, this is how Ephialtes betrayed spartans, it is because he couldnt get laid.I’ll bite. 1) I think the premise of OP’s title is something I could agree with. Hell, I could even accept some of your historical arguments, even though power consolidation via marriage has little to do with the “common man.” 2) that said, your conclusion is cracked out. Presuming you’re saying 1/3 of the US male population is single, I don’t see how any country can subvert that single population. For one, there’s a well characterized shortage of women in China, the largest country in the world… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/23 03:31 AM |
| 1 | Are many men really relocating to developing countries to find women to marry?Doubt it is as prevalent as what the folks on PPD might declare. I suspect most of what one reads here is more along the lines of an “empty threat.” That said, if a given man says he’ll do something enough times, it goes from being “empty threat” territory to “maybe I’ll actually go through with it” to “YOLO!” - ie: not an “empty threat.” And it’s not too much of a stretch. If a man remains romantically unsuccessful despite several years of reasonable effort, what recourse does he have? The way … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/01/23 04:51 AM |
| 20 | Is it possible to find men who do not put a huge emphasis on looks?I think all people place a huge emphasis on looks. But beyond some threshold, the personality and other factors of compatibility become much more important. Basically, if someone is below your looks threshold, they don’t exist as far as you’re concerned. I think that the vast majority of men don’t emphasize an Instagram model kind of “look.” I think most of us just look for women who are in shape. From what I can piece together, the Instagram “look” looks kind of ridiculous. Normal lips, normal … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/23 03:16 AM |
| 3 | Would you marry a woman making significantly more than you?Would I marry a woman who earned a lot more than me? Sure, why not? I’m confident in my career. Would I be willing to be a SAHD? If we needed someone to take care of the kids, I’d be inclined to just hire a nanny while I kept working part time. For me, I just don’t know that I’m as innately “nurturing” to do a good job raising kids. But I would like to be around for a little more than just evenings and weekends. Would I prefer a wife who earned more or less than me? More, provided her lifestyle … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/23 12:53 AM |
| 1 | What are your most important attributes in a women?Of that list: Looks, weight, age, personality, career, n-count, in that order. My actual approach: Left swipe on: single mothers, fat women, women over 32ish, smokers, etc. Of the remaining women, I’ll suss out personality when we’re chatting. But after basic attraction/capacity for having children, I want to know if we have compatible financial values, social values, morale values, sexual chemistry, taste in food, etc. I don’t give a shit about her career or n-count. I earn enough to support a … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/23 05:02 AM |
| 9 | CMV: Women don’t actually care about moneyMeh. Half disagree. I don’t think that women care as much about money as many on here would like to believe. It’s really tempting to blame one’s dating plight on the inability to gross 100k+ (or whatever threshold you want) because in all likelihood, most people just don’t have what it takes to achieve that. That said, I think you’re wrong to believe that personality and sense of humor are the prevailing variables. I’ll concede that those variables become very important if you’re dating among ac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/23 02:51 AM |
| 1 | What are signs that a woman does not get men?Women can want whatever they want, including successful partners. But if that is to be achieved, then what successful men want is a serious consideration. It’s a two way street. I obviously can’t speak for all successful men, but for myself and for my colleagues, none of us have prioritized a woman’s career, home ownership, etc. So when women lead with those as selling points, it suggests that they “don’t get” men, as OP is asking. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/23 02:43 AM |
| 1 | What are signs that a woman does not get men?I can’t take credit for this, but a lot of what I wrote comes down to this: if a woman is broadcasting that she has achieved xyz traits that she desires in a partner, she has become the partner that she wants. There’s not a lot of room for a man there. And more to the point, what women want in a partner is frequently different from what men want in a partner. Like a common sentiment is a woman wanting to date men who out earn her. I probably out-earn 97-99% of women, and as someone from that dem… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/23 10:37 PM |
| 4 | What are signs that a woman does not get men?As far as dating app profiles go, I would say that the clearest sign is highlighting her career/homeownership/how much she can deadlift/etc. Also not disclosing that she’s a single mother is a weird one. Those things are considerations in a long term relationship, but in the early dating stage, I think we mostly care about 1) is she attractive, 2) can we get along, 3) does she find me attractive. Like, it’s good to be proud of your career, proud of buying a home, etc. But all that does is raise … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/23 04:13 PM |
| 1 | How can men find high libido women? Is it even realistically achievable?Eh. You find them by trying to date them. Sometimes the sex conversation happens before sex, sometimes it happens after sex. Whether the libido checks out is a big unknown. Generally, if you “settle” for a woman less attractive than you, she’ll be more eager to have sex. I’ve tried it once, and would not recommend this practice. Bad sex is indeed worse than no sex at all. That said, when you do meet someone with a fairly high libido that matches your own, yes, it’s amazing. Cherish it while it l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/23 04:01 PM |
| 40 | What are your thoughts on "strong" women?Opinionated: could be a negative. I try to date intelligent women; so it’s natural to have some strong opinions on things. But when someone is described as opinionated, generally they’re disagreeable. I’m not particularly enthusiastic about the notion of a partner who argues for the sake of arguing. Hardworking: good trait. Matches my own values well. Career-oriented: eh. Nice to have, not necessary though. All I care about is that she can live within her means. I earn enough that my partner wou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/22 03:55 PM |
| 1 | Men over 30, do you filter out 30 year old women while looking for serious relationships?Mid-30s man here. Personally, I filter out over 32ish. I am looking for potential wife/kids material, and I chose 32 because it gives us time to get to know each other without too much of a rise in future fertility risks. In a few years, I won’t be interested in starting a family, and if I’m still dating at that point, I’ll lift my age filters. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/11/22 10:52 PM |
| 1 | Body count doesn't matter as much as being her best. thoughts?If someone is going to get hung up on a number that nobody can definitively confirm to put someone in the “wife material” or “not wife material” category, that person has a lot of growth insofar as critical thinking skills. I don’t think marriage should be very high on said hypothetical person’s priority list. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/11/22 08:38 PM |
| 2 | Do you prefer 50/50 or submission?It’s possible to prefer both. In the context of PPD, my impression has been that men tend to value sexual submissiveness. I would bet that at least half the men who claim to want that, if ever presented with it, wouldn’t know what to do. But that’s a different conversation altogether. Sexual submission is obviously independent of financial status. For my part, I enjoy being more dominant in the bedroom, so I’d prefer someone who’s more sexually submissive. But I’d also want a partner who has a m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/11/22 09:08 PM |
| 1 | Q for men only : Can you ever see a woman as an equal?Can I view a woman as an equal? Overall, yes. But even with an “equal” woman, there will be various aspects that will not be equal. Intellectually/professionally, some of the smartest people who trained me were women. Physically, what I might regard as a “looks match” is basically an equal. In dating, I’m generally envious of every woman out there. As to your overall question, I think you should do some reflection/work and nurture confidence in yourself. You should want to learn and hone some sk… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/11/22 08:30 AM |
| 1 | What's A Relational Value That You Have That Doesn't Benefit You?Meh- not sure if I’m understanding your question correctly. I’m a man with a good income, but I don’t broadcast my career/income on my dating profiles. I’m a bit old fashioned in that I expect to pay for dates, and I generally do unless she insists on splitting or something. It doesn’t really “benefit” me in that I may end up spending a bit more on average, and the women I date don’t know that this is how I do things off the bat. But I feel like I’m supporting a brand of chivalry nonetheless, an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/11/22 12:11 PM |
| 2 | Why over emphasizing superficial things like looks leads to a downfallWhat is your solution? De-emphasizing looks? At some point, someone’s looks will turn you on or not. If women suddenly started dating men they didn’t find attractive, do you think that they’d have successful relationships with them? I sure as shit wouldn’t want to fuck an attractive woman who isn’t attracted to me. I’d imagine she’d be about as interactive as a male masturbator. And I’d imagine that my self-confidence in being a desirable man would slowly deteriorate. If men started to date wome… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/22 10:48 PM |
| 4 | Can you tell when you've encountered a "post-wall woman?" What are they like?Man here. Hard to say. I think the concept of a “wall” is true in that a given person will have a realistic pool of potential partners that is generally most robust in their youth. This goes for men and women. As they get older, said pool gets smaller. And at some point, there is an inflection point where it becomes small enough that someone’s dating experience becomes noticeably different from what it was like a few years previously. It would make sense to me that one “cutoff” would relate to c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/22 10:11 PM |
| 5 | Should more college educated women ''date down'' in terms of status?Should? That depends on the couple. Will college educated women eventually be “forced” to date down if they want a partner? Yes, that’s basic arithmetic. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/22 08:53 AM |
| 1 | What is the female equivalent of height on a guy?Well logically speaking, it would also be height. But since most men lament height as a genetic trait we have zero control over, and since the magic “cutoff” appears to be 6’0” (or ~85th percentile), we could start looking at traits that can be described similarly. Perhaps something like being slim yet busty. What kinds of numbers you’d need to use as cutoffs is debatable, and frankly I wouldn’t know where to begin. But that combination, I have noticed, catches the eye of most men. Or at least i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/22 08:40 AM |
| 2 | "Men only notice attractive women". Is this really true?Hard to say. Beauty is certainly in the eye of the beholder. Furthermore, average beauty is difficult to define. I would say that I am attracted to most conventional western beauty archetypes. If a woman is fit (ie: not fat), there’s a reasonable chance that I’ll find her attractive. But nowadays, one could argue that fat is the average. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/10/22 03:10 AM |
| 2 | "Men only notice attractive women". Is this really true?Eh, I’d say it’s mostly true from a dating standpoint. Ie: if I’m not attracted to her, she may as well not exist. Once a woman passes a baseline attraction threshold, we might “notice” some more than others. And personality traits, including extroversion, might factor into that. But whether someone is on our radar at all for dating is probably 90-99% driven by attractiveness. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/10/22 09:49 PM |
| 1 | Average men struggle to date because they haven't/aren't building lives any woman in her right mind would want to be a part of.Shrug. I’m confident I check off all the boxes provided someone finds me attractive. That said, I am not average. It is debatable whether I struggle to date. I might average one first date every 3-4 wks. Sometimes I go 6-8wks without a first date. And occasionally I have 2-3 first dates in a week. Hooking up is probably about 1/3 of those rough stats. That said, I’m still on the market, and by the metric of relationship seeking, I would argue that I am an abject failure. My issue is that I find … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/10/22 05:09 PM |
| 1 | Prettier, dumb women will always triumph over an average to less attractive intelligent women.Eh. Half agree. Man here. I am reasonably fit, reasonably intelligent, reasonably interesting, and reasonably well off. To your credit, I agree that I prioritize looks more than I perhaps should. At the end of the day, I’m attracted to her, or I’m not. And 90% of what drives my attraction is her appearance. But by merely being “not fat,” a woman is dateable in my book. As for your argument/view that intelligence/accomplishments don’t matter, I would mostly agree. She could be a Mensa card CEO by… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/10/22 03:08 AM |
| 0 | How bad is it being a tall girl romantically?I’m a shorter man and have dated women shorter than me as well as taller than me. Her height doesn’t really make a difference other than whether I have to look up or down to kiss her. The initial filter is whether I find her attractive, and whether there are any dealbreakers. My dealbreakers are age and single mothers. Other men may value other things. But we all value attractiveness. I regularly right swipe on women taller than me if they’re attractive and don’t have any dealbreakers. If they s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/10/22 10:17 PM |
| -3 | Even women well into their 30s and 40s think they can afford to be insanely selective, often even more so than younger far more attractive girlsNot sure what you’re trying to argue. I agree with your title, in some respects. I also agree with your post content, in some respects. But I disagree that this is even an issue. Some older women/single mothers are very selective. And if they’re happy with the prospect of remaining single, I don’t see the problem with that. To your credit, for my part, as a single unencumbered divorced man, I don’t have any interest in dating those women, let alone jumping through any hoops. Age and single mothe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/10/22 05:18 PM |
| 29 | Why is Reddit so hell-bent on convincing men that body count doesn’t matter?Man here. I think the sentiment is because most of the time, body count preferences are expressed in the context of “I want a low n woman because high n women can’t pair bond” or “I want a low n count woman because high n count women have poor character,” etc. It’s the implications of the “why” that are unpalatable. Some of those implications may be true. And some of them may be false. But nobody likes to be negatively painted with a broad brush. Just like men don’t appreciate sentiment like “I … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/10/22 05:23 AM |
| 1 | If women were less “picky” do you think you’d be in a LTR?Not going to happen anytime soon. For now, I’m (mostly) content with a semi-irregular stream of first dates, flings, casual things. If I don’t find wife material in the near-ish future, I’ll let my standards drop a bit. But that’s only because I’m not going to be putting marriage on the table at that point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/10/22 04:24 AM |
| 1 | If women were less “picky” do you think you’d be in a LTR?I’ll bite despite the username. When I’ve paid for premium/etc status on the apps, I have no shortage of matches. But I’m simply not attracted to them. Would all of them want to date me? Doubtful. But there’s enough of them that I also doubt none among them would pursue me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/10/22 02:50 AM |
| 7 | If women were less “picky” do you think you’d be in a LTR?Possibly. I think some of the women I select for, and who might be reasonably “matched” might be overlooking me. I also think some of the women I select for may be out of my league, and some are below my league. It’s possible that my personality is simply atrocious, and if women were less selective, I’d just have lots of first dates. All things being equal, I think if single women were a bit less selective on the grounds of looks, there would be a higher probability that I would be in an LTR or … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/10/22 05:27 PM |
| 1 | Are men capable of raising kids by themselves?1) a child of two unhappy parents is likely going to turn out worse than a child of one happy parent 2) “hardwiring” aside, an individual can learn the skills to be a good parent if he or she chooses to do so 3) you’re 21. You’ve got plenty of time to date, meet someone, and start a family 4) the cost of surrogacy is probably on the order of 100k. Then, unless you’re independently wealthy, you would need to factor in childcare costs, which can be as much as 25-40k/yr. Then you have to factor in … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/09/22 10:23 PM |
| 2 | Single father households are increasing at a much faster rate than other types of households in the USI think it is a relative surge because historically custody has been granted to mothers by default, so the number of single father households is simply small, and any increase will seem amplified on a percentage/year over year basis. That said, I would suspect that our millennial generation was raised with more egalitarian values on average, and men are more open about wanting custody. So I think it is a real phenomena, just not as remarkable as the stats suggest. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/22 03:17 PM |
| 1 | Women when a women expresses a preference: she can have whatever standards she wants. Women when men express a preference: he's misogynistic, insecure ect...And if they learn too late, that is their burden to bear. Some things need to be learned through failure. And if there are enough people who fail in the same way, then those people will start to share their heartfelt stories. Perhaps some younger people will be able to those stories, and perhaps take heed. If that makes for a miserable cohort in a generation, so be it. More likely, I think, is that men are thirsty enough that they’ll tolerate that and take what they can get. And women won’t lear… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/22 05:00 AM |
| 0 | Women when a women expresses a preference: she can have whatever standards she wants. Women when men express a preference: he's misogynistic, insecure ect...Eh. I think it’s more of a reaction to the why. That said, I half agree that my general feeling is that women generally don’t take kindly to men expressing our preferences. There’s a big difference between “I want to only date a virgin or low n count woman because I’m a virgin/I want someone who views sex as sacred/etc” and “I want to only date a virgin or low n count woman because I don’t want her to have experienced better sex than I can offer/those women are younger and have more malleable pe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/09/22 05:47 PM |
| 2 | Would gender roles and dating dynamics be different if men didn’t prioritize sex so much? (ie: “think with their dicks”). If so, how? (tagged NSFW just in case)Well if we didn’t prioritize sex at all, mankind would go extinct… If we were simply less sex-driven, then it would really depend on the extent of deprioritizing sex. Hell, even if somehow every man deprioritized sex by 50%, (how would you even measure that), the horniest men would still swipe on lots of women, send dick pics, etc. And the men who are horniest and most sexually attractive would still end up having more sex than most. All it would do is take the cohort of men who “sort of” priori… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/09/22 02:14 AM |
| 6 | Women ARE Selected More For Looks, And Men For Pretty Much Everything ElseI don’t think it’s an incel excuse. I think there’s a fair amount of truth to the “looks matter a fuck ton” argument, particularly with online dating. I do think that wealth matters somewhat, but I don’t think that most men can go from undateable to dateable via career alone. Were that true, I would expect that someone like me would be overwhelmed by women, but that isn’t my reality. I have a couple of friends with much more modest careers but who are also conventionally attractive and a bit mor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/09/22 12:28 PM |
| 1 | The notion that women expect Gigachad because of social media is projection by men onto women.Man here. I think this depends on how you define “gigachad” and how strictly you define “expect,” but I don’t think that this concept is a projection by men. I don’t ascribe to RP or manosphere stuff, but I’ve watched a few of those YouTube personas interview women about their expectations. The fact that they seem to easily find so many women willing to say that to a recorded audience suggests to me that those sentiments are fairly prevalent. Hell, I think one woman had a rant she posted somewhe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/09/22 09:12 PM |
| 1 | Men 30+, is it true that you prefer not to date 30 year old womanI’m in my mid-30s and date 32 and younger. But I am specifically looking for wife/family/kids material. I want to have enough time to get to know a woman, live together, get hitched, and do a bit of traveling before really trying to start a family. Ideally we’d have our first before she turns 35. I figure 32 is the oldest she could be to allow us the time to do that. If I don’t find someone before I feel that I’m too old to have kids, then I will lift my age filter, and also take marriage/kids o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/09/22 12:23 PM |
| 3 | Men 30+, is it true that you prefer not to date 30 year old womanI’m in my mid-30s and date 32 and younger. But I am specifically looking for wife/family/kids material. I want to have enough time to get to know a woman, live together, get hitched, and do a bit of traveling before really trying to start a family. Ideally we’d have our first before she turns 35. I figure 32 is the oldest she could be to allow us the time to do that. If I don’t find someone before I feel that I’m too old to have kids, then I will lift my age filter, and also take marriage/kids o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/09/22 12:22 PM |
| 1 | TRP tries to reduce the value of women by lowering their self confidence making them accessible to the RP demographicI don’t think the stuff you’re describing is really TRP. Most of that stuff is pickup artist type strategies. When I looked into what TRP was about, my take away was: 1) lift 2) talk to women 3) lift 4) wear good fitting clothes 5) lift 6) talk to women 7) women are hypergamous, so never commit 8) lift 9) juggle women/spin plates I wouldn’t be surprised if there are variations of TRP that may incorporate those pickup artist strategies, but again, I don’t really consider them TRP. Hell, part of t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/09/22 10:28 PM |
| -1 | What would equity in dating look like?Interesting thought experiment. If I could redesign the world with no consideration for ethics, I wouldn’t make dating fair. I’d make it downright advantageous for me. I’d imagine it’d look like 90% female population to 10% male, some kind of societal structure that effectively encourages health/fitness (or at least doesn’t celebrate obesity), perhaps ramp up women sex drives in general, and somehow make it so that men could also readily have multiple orgasms. Now if I were to have the objective… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/09/22 08:16 PM |
| 8 | TRP tries to reduce the value of women by lowering their self confidence making them accessible to the RP demographicI fail to see how TRP does anything to women’s self esteem. At least when I was reading about TRP, it focused on self improvement, talking to women, and not committing to any woman. The only women it will enable access to are the women who previously wrote someone off on the grounds of looks. But lifting/dressing better/etc is all a matter of looking better. That self improvement isn’t exactly unique to TRP. The only thing really unique to TRP, I think, is the mentality of not committing to any … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/09/22 06:09 AM |
| 2 | CMV: The picture of what average means here is heavily distortedI don’t think anyone purports that what you describe is “average” at all. Not sure what your view is founded on… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/09/22 05:29 AM |
| 1 | What is the worst thing about being a man?Appreciate the thought. But honestly, things could be far worse. I know you were trying to be encouraging, and it’s a pet peeve of mine when folks on here seem to make basic excuses to not take action to address their complaints. That said, in my particular case, I simply won’t hit on office staff. Part of this is because I know that this is likely 99% lust driven. But short of them approaching me outside of work and basically throwing themselves at me, it won’t happen. Even then, the ethics of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/09/22 01:09 AM |
| 1 | What is a "high value" male?Depends on the metric. If the metric is sexual, then I would agree, having options defines one’s values. If the metric is high value to society, that might look different. Just as it would if it were high value from a family standpoint. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/09/22 11:00 PM |
| 1 | What is the worst thing about being a man?Honesty? 1) being attracted to several of our office staff and knowing that I cannot hit on them 2) seeing couples with relatively fit men and relatively obese women, and wondering if that’s what is in store for me. (Doubtful, but scary nonetheless) 3) walking around and noticing that the men who are obviously in relationships with women who I do find attractive have things I do not. Generally, I’m envious that they’re white (I am not), and I’m envious that they’re taller than me (I’m on the sho… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/09/22 10:57 PM |
| 3 | Those who have dated men/women in your workplace, what was your experience like? did it get awkward seeing them everyday? or was it a positive experience?Fuck no. Way too much risk, especially for an endeavor that has a low probability of success anyway. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/09/22 02:36 AM |
| 2 | Marrying outside the western society?Eh, I don’t think it’s predatory. If there’s a wealth gap, Americans (for example) would have to worry about secondary gain like green card/immigration just as much as the other person might worry about objectification. Different risks, but risks on both sides nonetheless. I don’t see the appeal in that I want a partner with whom I could have a conversation, and I’m not about to go learn another language. I mean, I suppose if I met someone from England or Australia or another English speaking co… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/09/22 04:57 PM |
| 12 | Ar what age is being unmarried a red flag for M&W?Divorced man who is looking for wife material here. I do not believe a never married status is itself a liability for a potential partner. But I think it would make me wonder (and perhaps ask) why she hasn’t been married if she were over 35 or so and she wanted to get married. Is it because she focused on her career at the expense of her dating life? Did she have cancer? Did she break off an engagement/had an engagement fall apart? Did she have a change of heart about wanting to get married? Why… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/09/22 02:17 AM |
| 4 | What is purple pill?I think the better question to ask is: does what pill some internet stranger labels you with matter? To answer your question, I think that conceptually, purple pill is about people who believe in some but not all parts of red pill, while also believing in some but not all parts of blue pill. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/09/22 02:11 AM |
| 4 | Let's have a discussion about OnlyFans/webcam girls. What are your thoughts on the matter?I think it’s a strange phenomena. I don’t have a problem with people monetizing their attention. Better an individual capture that wealth than the faceless corporation behind an algorithm that sells social media attention. So basically, I don’t see a problem with it. I also haven’t partaken in webcam or onlyfan culture- I just don’t see the appeal. I’d rather earn my wealth, and spend it on things that bring me joy in the most efficient way possible. I certainly enjoy porn, but I don’t view webc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/09/22 12:35 AM |
| 1 | Is it a deal breaker if she does not want to ever try anal?? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/09/22 01:52 AM |
| 1 | Is it a deal breaker if she does not want to ever try anal?Yes | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/22 10:08 PM |
| 8 | Would most college-aged women be willing to date a 30+ year old man, or are they an anomaly?College aged? As in 18-22? I would say huge anomaly. Since I rejoined the dating pool in my early-mid-30s, I think I routinely match with women who are within 3~4 yrs of my age. Every now and then, I’ll go on a date with a woman 7~8yrs my junior, but in the few cases I remember, there wasn’t a third date. Trying to have a conversation was like pulling teeth, and the one woman who I did want to date ended up choosing someone a bit closer to her age. The idea of sleeping with someone with a huge a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/22 09:22 PM |
| 1 | Is it a deal breaker if she does not want to ever try anal?No, yes, and debatable. At the very least, I’m fairly fit, and I am not going to entertain the idea of settling for an obese woman. In any case, I’m confident in what I bring to the table and am fairly steadfast in what I want. If I can’t find her, my niece and nephews will inherit modest trust funds. I’ll probably travel a bit more. If I can find her, my children will, and I’ll travel a bit more modestly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/22 09:14 PM |
| 2 | Is it a deal breaker if she does not want to ever try anal?Maybe, maybe not. I am happy with my salary. Doubtful any extra would make a difference, especially since I generally don’t publicize my profession on dating apps to begin with, and I don’t flaunt on my apps. A more plausible argument is that I don’t show my wealth on apps enough. But I’d rather find someone who likes me for me than someone who likes me for the status/lifestyle I can provide. I don’t mind if someone enjoys those things. But they’re a bonus. Not the main course. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/22 08:58 PM |
| 2 | Is it a deal breaker if she does not want to ever try anal?Probably since the new year, actually. I had a casual thing going for a while, and I don’t think I cared as much about crappy matches while we were seeing each other. But since it fizzled out over the summer-ish, I’ve become much more aware of how lackluster the singles scene is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/22 06:48 PM |
| 1 | Is it a deal breaker if she does not want to ever try anal?It’s certainly not as encouraging as it usually is, that much I’ll say. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/22 06:27 PM |
| 3 | Have you ever cheated or felt the urge to, if so, why? (no judgement, just curious)Never cheated. Never felt the urge to cheat. Was cheated on. Would not wish that pain on my worst enemy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/22 05:40 PM |
| 1 | Why aren't friendships required (or at the very least encouraged) before ALSO entering a relationship?First: your flair and your post content confuses me. Something doesn’t quite fit. To answer your question: I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with wanting a friendship before a relationship. That makes a lot of sense if you already interact with someone in your social/life circles. But from an online dating standpoint, I don’t think it makes sense at all. Everyone is a stranger. I think it takes something on the order of 40hrs of quality 1:1 interactions for people to develop a frie… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/22 05:39 PM |
| 1 | Is it a deal breaker if she does not want to ever try anal?This is tough. I’m looking for wife material, but the women I’ve been meeting lately are largely “bleh.” The few who do excite me feel “bleh” about me. Maybe this is because I’m in a bit of a rut, but part of me is rethinking my expectations (unlikely to change), and another part of me is rethinking my goals (more likely to stop looking for wife/kids material and just date for a relationship). If I didn’t feel like I was in a rut, I’d easily say that yes, no anal is a dealbreaker for me. I know … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/22 05:28 PM |
| 1 | Is having platonic female friends as a man a good or a bad thing for dating?Man here. I think it would be neutral in general. If they’re in your friend zone as well, it’s somewhere between a wash and net positive. Net positive if they happen to have single friends (ie expand your social circle). Wash if they don’t. But if you are secretly pining for those friends and they’ve friend-zoned you, it’s a net negative. You’re just wasting time/energy/effort on a lost cause. And even if they introduce you to single friends, it is likely to fail because it would be obviously ap… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/09/22 09:16 PM |
| 2 | How common is this? "I have an amazing career, make almost 6 figures, have lots of friends and family, fit and physically active, many hobbies and talented, but I can't get a single date"Meh, I don’t know that it’s that common. My personal experience might read like “I have an amazing career, earn 6 figures, have a solid group of friends, a great (but often overwhelming) family that I keep at arms length, a handful of hobbies/talents, but I’m struggling to find a good match. I go on dates somewhat regularly (probably 2 first dates a month on average), and I’d say it’s 20% I’m interested but she isn’t, 40% she might be interested but I’m definitely not, and 40% I’m lukewarm and s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/09/22 02:55 AM |
| 1 | Why shouldn't men be the catch in relationships?One thing you’re omitting is that if you’re a man, you are probably approaching (or want to approach) women far more often. Arguably most likely in an effort to get laid. Women don’t need to chase because we (men) collectively consider them to be a prize of sorts. If we (men) collectively embraced the idea that we don’t need women to live fulfilling lives, then yes, men might be the catch. Women have been preaching something to that effect for a while, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that mentali… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/09/22 01:49 AM |
| 7 | Thoughts on this RA post entitled: Boyfriend was giving his friend misogynistic dating advice and got upset at me for saying I don’t that like itI couldn’t have written this better myself. I echo everything except your anecdotes about your experiences as a woman. The only thing I’ll add is that some of us feel a deep need to be genuinely nice. You can “fake” the confidence to a point, and you can work on building “true” confidence during that period, but if you embrace enough nice values, it can be very difficult to strike a balance in being true to your inner nice guy and being effective at dating. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/09/22 01:38 AM |
| 1 | How often are men honest about their past when it comes to dating?Surprisingly, in my limited experience, cheaters share that tidbit with me. I think on some level, they know it can be a hard dealbreaker, and they’d prefer to air that dirty laundry sooner rather than later. I have no reason to doubt someone’s omission of cheating. But if someone doesn’t, there are usually hints when they discuss why things ended in the past. I’ll take the hints. I’m not adversarial enough to ask directly about cheating. That, and if I really like her, part of me doesn’t want t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/09/22 01:38 AM |
| 1 | Young, hot (and submissive) women are at a major disadvantage when it comes to finding a LTR compared to older or less attractive womenDisagree. In fairness, I’m a man, so this is speculation. Then again, you verbiage implies that you’re not of a submissive/agreeable temperament. If that’s the case, we’re both just speculating. Being submissive/agreeable isn’t inherently a disadvantage, and it also is a totally separate trait from the critical thinking skills to identify a good partner. For one, being constantly swarmed by men from a young age should expose a given woman to more variations of seduction/personalities. And I woul… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/09/22 02:52 PM |
| 6 | Is There A Big Enough Time Gap To Excuse a “hoe phase”I would have a problem with a woman making me wait to have sex. It’s not a matter of being treated differently from other men in her past, although on some level, that would bother me. For me, the reason is that sex is important to me in a relationship. We either move at a compatible pace, or we’re not sexually compatible. That’s it. From my standpoint, I don’t have the energy/patience to wait more than 5~10 dates. I have better things to do with my free time than jump through some arbitrary hoo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/09/22 01:06 AM |
| 2 | How often are men honest about their past when it comes to dating?Hard to know for sure. All any of us can do is share what we do. And even then, we could be lying. Even on Reddit, where presumably the anonymity of the internet protects us from judgment about our thought processes. So, if you take what I write at face value: I am honest about my past with respect to my marriage. All the other dating I’ve done since then has been decidedly more casual/dead ends, so I summarize it that way. I don’t go out of my way to share details about those women (or numbers)… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/09/22 12:57 AM |
| 0 | Does someone’s past matter?All the examples you cite are relevant and direct comparisons of past behaviors that are pertinent to present concerns. I think what a lot of people on PPD get hung up on is someone’s sexual past. If someone cheated previously, I would say that they have a higher than average risk of cheating in the future. And for some (probably most), that’s going to be a dealbreaker. I don’t see the problem with this. Where I take issue is people who seem obsessed with n count. Does having slept with 5 people… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/09/22 05:39 PM |
| 3 | Men do care about earning potential and education in a woman, just not the same way women value it in men.That’s not too far off my income, so let’s use those numbers. Do I, as a man, have the abundance of choice that I can filter out for women earning 400k? Bear in mind, that is a household income of roughly the top 1%. Even if I did have that kind of luxury of choice, would that be more important than whether I’m attracted to her, the sex is good, or any one of a number of other considerations? It just doesn’t make sense for me to prioritize income at all. If the only things I’m prioritizing now a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/09/22 02:35 PM |
| 1 | Men do care about earning potential and education in a woman, just not the same way women value it in men.You’re right that I don’t want to date/marry a stupid, uneducated, uncultured, or even lower class woman. But my position is that those variables are more important to me than someone’s income. I do think that some of the TRP’s claims might come across a bit abrasive. But from what I’ve read, TRP isn’t about finding a woman for a relationship. I understood TRP to be about seeing as many women as possible for the primary (if not sole) purpose of sex. And through that lens, I don’t see why intelli… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/09/22 02:21 PM |
| 2 | Men do care about earning potential and education in a woman, just not the same way women value it in men.Yep. My comfort at home matters more to me than my partner’s income. I’ve tried dating a woman with drastically different thermostat preferences. That ended up being a huge problem. Certainly there were other problems, but that one was more important than I thought it’d be. But you know what wasn’t a problem? How much she earned. My point is, I don’t foresee a potential partner’s income meaningfully impacting any aspect of our life together unless she too is a high earner. Say 200k or so. And re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/09/22 01:48 PM |
| 1 | Men do care about earning potential and education in a woman, just not the same way women value it in men.It’s not quite a matter of ignoring as much as it is a matter of prioritizing. The schools she attended confer legacy status to any kids we might have. They’ll also be places we’ll end up donating money to. All things being equal, I’d prefer to donate and send my kids to better schools. Also, in my social circles, where you went can matter. Those fringe benefits matter more to me than someone’s income. I suspect that most people on PPD would be happy to have a partner who grosses 100k. I haven’t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/09/22 01:28 PM |
| 1 | Men do care about earning potential and education in a woman, just not the same way women value it in men.Agreed. Though I would say that for me, a woman’s income potential would be a priority 15-16 out of 20. Low enough that it’s not worth thinking about at all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/09/22 03:01 AM |
| 4 | Men do care about earning potential and education in a woman, just not the same way women value it in men.Most people don’t earn enough to support a family. That said, while I agree that in general, “not caring about a woman’s earning potential” is probably more of a fantasy peddled on PPD, the thought process is still fairly valid. I can only really speak for myself, but as a man who does earn enough to support a family, I don’t care about a woman’s earning potential. Of all the ways I could judge a partner, her actual earning potential is one of the last things I care about. Right now, I am still … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/09/22 02:57 AM |
| 1 | Young women encourage toxic masculinityNot technically. If the outcome is attributed to improved fitness/losing weight, then “being yourself,” from a personality standpoint, still works. If it is attributed to acting like an asshole, then “being yourself” is the problem. And if it is attributed to a combination of both (in all likelihood, this would be the case), then we ponder the relative contribution of personality vs looks. My point is, I don’t believe that the road to sexual fulfillment requires one to be an asshole. I think it … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/22 09:45 PM |
| 6 | Bluepillers, you have a friend, he is 21, and he wants to get laid. He wants to have lots of sex with different and hot women. What advice do you give him?1) Make some friends with other men who are successful at casual dating/getting laid, and observe them in social settings. 2) apply those observed behaviors 3) read about seduction/flirting 4) apply the stuff you read 5) watch videos about seduction/banter (someone cited some YouTube videos) 6) apply the stuff you’ve watched The biggest thing is to get out there and start talking to women. I do it less than I should, and I’m working on it. It can be therapeutic to bitch about my woes on Reddit, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/22 04:28 PM |
| 1 | The traits men want in a DAUGHTER vs WIFEI don’t read paywalled content, but I’m curious about how the questions were framed. I will say that for me, I echo a lot of what you posted, but I don’t think that is problematic. A daughter is someone you can actively shape, a wife is her own person who was ostensibly shaped by her family/upbringing. I also think that it’s very easy for a man to want to favor the traits that worked for him in his kids- daughters and sons alike. And what a man must bring to the table to successfully start a fam… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/22 04:24 PM |
| 1 | Young women encourage toxic masculinityI think the bigger question here is whether you can attribute your experience to getting your ass to the gym/losing 40lbs, talking like an asshole, or the combination of both. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/22 04:19 PM |
| 1 | This sub just doesn’t believe in loveDisagree. To your credit, lately my impression has been that PPD has become more polarized between men/women and overall less optimistic about society. That said, I don’t think that people here don’t believe in love. I think most people here believe in love, yearn for love, and are unsuccessful in finding love. At least, that’s why I’m here. I can’t speak too intelligibly as to women’s thoughts on this, but I can reasonably extrapolate men’s thoughts. If I didn’t believe in love, and I wanted se… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/22 04:17 PM |
| 9 | Bluepillers, you have a friend, he is 21, and he wants to get laid. He wants to have lots of sex with different and hot women. What advice do you give him?In fairness, I’m not BP. I’m more purple. I would advise the friend you describe in OP that he doesn’t have adequate social skills or hobbies to facilitate sexual contact, and if he wants to get laid, he needs to expand his social circles/hobbies to coed groups, and he needs to learn how to flirt/socialize with women. In short, I’d tell him that merely showering, being able to hold a non-sexually charged conversation, and not being fat are not enough if he’s not going to talk to women to begin w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/22 04:04 PM |
| 13 | Where did you get your opinions about women?In fairness, I’m a mid-30s millennial man. That said, I too agree that feminism has gone too far. It’s not that I “learned to dislike feminism,” it’s that feminism has evolved into something that I no longer fully support. I’m not a social media user, and even I’m aware about the kill all men meme. If that’s not divisive and adversarial, I don’t know what is. But there are more subtle ways that feminism has become perverted. There’s a lot of body positivity, which I think would ordinarily be hea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/09/22 11:05 PM |
| 11 | Are Old Virgins Unattractive?Mid-30s man here. I’ve dated two women who I believe were virgins in their early 30s. The women were physically attractive, but the circumstances of their virginity was what made them a little less attractive. One actively wanted children but was a waiting for a serious commitment (preferably marriage) type. The other felt that she had to focus on her career and couldn’t allow herself to really date. Both of them were just a bit more socially awkward than I would have liked. And out of deference… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/09/22 04:33 AM |
| 1 | Casual Sex and Body Count with Men and WomenTo answer your question, which is a subjective opinion, I don’t think that accomplishment vs availability (if true) has any bearing on motherhood. And I emphasize that I don’t think accomplishment vs availability is really true or has any meaning. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/09/22 04:20 AM |
| 1 | Marry A Virgin But it Turns Out You’re Not CompatibleOh. Well, in that case, I think that’s a pretty big ask. And I think for most people, the answer would be no. There are several layers of compatibility in choosing a partner, and sexual compatibility is one layer. From personal experience, sexual incompatibility (as far as libido) is devastating. There are few things that hurt more deeply than being sexually rejected by your partner. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. If one partner dislikes or is only tolerating sex for the other, that relat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/09/22 01:45 AM |
| 1 | Marry A Virgin But it Turns Out You’re Not CompatibleI see what you’re doing here. Good try, but the cop out is that most of the men who advocate a preference for virgins also add a slash low n-count. So divorcing a previous virgin to try again isn’t incompatible with that thought process. But I agree that the whole n count/virgin thing is ridiculous and idiotic. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/09/22 10:29 PM |
| 8 | After romantic rejection, men feel less positive emotion and hold shifted socio-political attitudes. Women do not follow the same pattern.Mid-30s man here. I haven’t read the paper. But at face value, I would agree, as it has been my experience. And I find that disturbing. I was raised fairly liberal, and I still ascribe to generally liberal/left leaning belief systems. But, if I feel like I’m being left in the dust romantically (some days I do), I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to give a shit about the plight of women. Any of it. In those moments, I don’t care about wage inequality, I don’t care about sexual harassment, I don… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/09/22 10:25 PM |
| 2 | What's your unpopular opinion about women? Something you truly believe based on lived experience, but would get down voted to all hellNot going to bother sharing unpopular opinions- I’m sure mine are covered by one of the thousand replies. Just want to point out how surprised I am that a thread like this is what garners 1k+ responses. I didn’t think there were more than 400 users active on PPD in a given day. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/09/22 09:53 PM |
| 2 | What percentage of people within your dating age range do you find attractive enough to sleep with? What percentage do you find attractive enough to have a relationship with?Bear in mind, I’m a relatively fit man in a relatively obese part of the country… I’d probably sleep with about 30-40% of women in my age range, but it’s closer to 10-20% of women who I find attractive enough that I’d be willing to pursue for a relationship. I’m fully aware that being as picky as I am increases the risk that I will be a perpetual bachelor, but I’m okay with that. The point I’m making is that as I’ve worked on myself physically/emotionally, my standards for women have gone up as … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/22 09:43 PM |
| 2 | 5 Books that have saved me thus far. What are 5 books you'd recommend to someone trying to dive into the deeper end?Can’t remember most titles to save my life. But over the past few yrs, I’ve read (or audiobooked): models, no more mr. Nice guy, 7 habits of highly successful people, daring greatly, power of vulnerability, and the book about love languages. Most of it just better articulated my personal viewpoints and how I carry myself. I think No more Mr nice guy and models both forced me to confront whether I was truly nice or manipulative nice. And daring greatly and power of vulnerability gave me some pers… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/22 09:31 PM |
| 1 | The Red Pill’s biggest shortcoming and why men need to actually work on understanding women (and how to do it)Full disclosure, I don’t personally identify as red pill. But I’ve looked into it, and mostly agree with a version of it. The version I believe argued: 1) women are always going to look for something better, so never commit to women, 2) lift/exercise, 3) get your career in a good place, 4) dress well, 5) talk to women, go on dates, and 6) because women are prone to look for the next best thing, always juggle women, and again, never commit. I agree with 2-5, and partially agree with #1. I agree t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/22 09:21 PM |
| 1 | Men shouldn't concern themselves with being "Good" as seen by societyEh. I’m torn here. Part of me agrees in that if you’re a man whose goal is to find a partner/start a family/etc (which itself is “good” from a societal standpoint), then you behave in a way that facilitates that goal, even if it isn’t heralded as “good” behavior. But there’s a difference between being good/being righteous about being good, and being good in a way that is true to your values. I don’t think anyone appreciates being judged. Hence your observation with the first guy being poorly rec… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/22 09:00 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Wanting a virgin/low body count woman isn't about pussyVirgins/low n-counts do not track well with trauma/trust issues. That said, if that’s important to you, then date that way. And if you find happiness, more power to you. If you fail to find happiness, maybe you should re-think whether some other variable is more important to you. I still maintain that n-count is a garbage metric, and it astounds me how many people seem to obsess over it. For all the folks here who claim to be smart enough to hold down decent jobs, there seems to be a lack of cri… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/22 08:33 PM |
| 5 | Men- how important is it to you to buy a house for or with your partner?How important is it that I buy a house for or with my partner? Well, for my partner? Not really important at all. With my partner? Extremely important. All I need is a 1BR apartment. But if I see a future with my partner (including kids), I know that I will need a house/larger place. And where we live is an “us” decision as opposed to “my” decision. How would I feel/would I feel intimidated if my partner told me she had enough saved for a down payment? I wouldn’t feel intimidated. But part of th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/09/22 04:53 AM |
| 2 | In general do men really get better with age and become more attractive to women?In general, most people age poorly. People just get fatter, and fat isn’t a good look on either sex. For those who stay in shape, you can see a difference. A woman looking old is a bigger dating liability than a man looking old. But the proportion of men who age well is a tiny sliver of men. They are the top 20% (or whatever percentage is being thrown around nowadays). And just like dating in the 20s-30s, they’ll command most of the attention. What most of the revenge fantasy folks don’t grasp i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/09/22 01:39 PM |
| 2 | people who have high n-count, do you find it difficult to maintain ltr relationships?I’ll have to get back to you on that. I don’t think my n count changed my personality or views on relationships, but I could be wrong. I think I’m just as capable of committing to a woman today as I was when I was a virgin some 15+ yrs ago. Where I struggle is finding a woman who I’d even want to start an LTR with. One thing I can say is that the shitshow of modern dating has shown me that if I find another match, I’m going to hang on to her for as long as I can to avoid having to deal with mode… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/09/22 09:55 PM |
| 4 | The average man isn't attracted to the average woman either.Ditto. Just because it’s an “average” doesn’t mean it’s good. I do think that my “looks matched” woman is hard to find, and even harder to match with. That’s my biggest complaint. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/09/22 09:51 PM |
| 1 | To men who want biological children: It might be better to pay a surrogate than to have children with a woman. What do you think?Disagree with surrogacy. I am a man who leans towards wanting biological children, though if I can’t find an appropriate partner in a timely fashion, I’ll just pivot to casual dating instead. And I have the means to afford surrogacy, as well as childcare. I do not think it’s better to pay a surrogate. I’m strongly in the camp of wanting kids who can be raised in a 2 parent household. Call me a traditionalist, but I want my kids to have a mother and father. I would hazard a guess that a full time… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/09/22 09:46 PM |
| 1 | QFM: If your GF/Wife said you had to go through a birth pain simulator in order to have kids (for anywhere between 2-30 hours randomly picked) would you do it?Would I be willing to go through a simulator? Yeah, why not? Would I be okay with a woman demanding I do so before bearing my children? No. I would not be okay with the expectation that I use a simulator. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/09/22 10:20 PM |
| 1 | How strong is the intersection between the Red Pill and the Alt-Right?I don’t think it’s strong at all, but I could be wrong. I thought alt right has a lot of roots in religious and social conservatism. That seems to be grossly incompatible with the notion of acknowledging/accepting hypergamy and viewing women as only useful for sex (no marriage). Those are two of the core values I think TRP espouses. But I could be wrong. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/08/22 10:38 PM |
| 1 | Does it really boil down to looks as far as what makes a woman a potential partner vs a best friend?To answer your question of whether looks trump everything else for a girlfriend vs a girl friend, I would say yes. If I like someone’s personality, I’ll want to hang out with them. And if I am attracted to her, I’ll want to pursue her for more. The only situation where I can see myself having a female friend who I am also attracted to is if I am not willing to cross some line. For me, working together is a line I won’t cross. Her being married or in a serious relationship is a line I won’t cross… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/08/22 10:34 PM |
| 2 | [Q4All]Whats your thoughts on Speed dating?I’m a single/divorced mid-30s man without kids. I’ve been to two speed dating events in different cities. Maybe three. My thoughts? Waste of time. Probably a good practice arena for those who are afraid to talk to women though. In my limited experience, the ratio of men to women was very unfavorable. Like 2:1 or worse. And to add insult to injury, the vast majority of women in attendance were… not women who I would want to date anyway. Morbidly obese, very socially unaware, etc. The 1-2 women wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/08/22 10:17 PM |
| 3 | CMV, Sex is an essential part of a long term relationship, without it relationships lose their love and end badly.Eh. I have mixed feelings about your view. I think it is because my view is that “sexual compatibility is an essential part of long term relationships.” This accounts for asexuals and low libido couplings. And it also accounts for mismatched libidos. But, where I take issue with your view is the idea that sex should be expected in a relationship. In fairness to you, all you wrote is that you disagree with the sentiment that sex shouldn’t be expected in a relationship. And also in fairness to you… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/08/22 10:08 PM |
| 1 | Women’s height preferences are men’s fault, collectivelyI think it’s a fools errand to try to establish fault here. That said, I think it’s natural to look for something (or someone) bigger than you to confer a sense of safety/protection. It’s why daughters get SUVs and sons get sedans, for example. And when it comes to dating, taller is the easiest way to filter. I don’t fault women for making those decisions. But I do think it’s a bit tragic for society if each successive generation skews taller. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/08/22 04:01 AM |
| 1 | Swiss Cheese Masculinity and The Romantic IdealI think your Swiss cheese diagrams conceptually make sense, but I don’t necessarily agree with you. That said, I do agree with the conclusions you make in your bullet points. For me, I think masculinity can look very different from one man to the next, and even very different from one situation to the next within one man. I don’t think women can define masculinity any more than men can define femininity. For me, masculinity is about knowing yourself, knowing your values, and unapologetically sta… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/08/22 01:32 AM |
| 6 | Speaking from personal experience, what do never married woman over the age of 34 look like?In my limited experience, there are two different types. In fairness, I could be mixing characteristics up here, but this is the gestalt of what I remember. One is the education/career focused type. Oftentimes relatively fit. Some of these women have been attractive enough that I’ve gone on a few dates with them. Curiously, one of these women was really inexperienced with men, if not a virgin. But their priorities just didn’t mesh well with mine long term, so I didn’t pursue much beyond the firs… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/08/22 06:54 AM |
| 1 | What Do You Bring To The TableGood traits? This gets very vague. As others have expressed, it’s all relative. Loyalty, calmness, flexibility/openness, efficiency in household tasks, curiosity about cuisines, curiosity about travel, general domestic skills, general handiwork skills, etc. I’m sure 95% of other folks could describe a near identical list, yet we’ll all have different degrees of perceived and actual strength in each of these characteristics. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/08/22 06:34 AM |
| 4 | Dating After 30 - The Dating Flip - Does It Exist?Oh I’m fully aware of that. But I’ve done lots of reflection, and if I’m looking for marriage material, single moms are a dealbreaker. One day, I’ll stop wanting the wife/kids thing. At that point, single mothers will be fair game for me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/08/22 03:14 PM |
| 1 | Dating After 30 - The Dating Flip - Does It Exist?Well, objectively, I’m shorter than average and I am not Caucasian. Subjectively, I think I’ve got some fat to lose, and I’ve been doing some alternating bulking/cutting. BMI is ~22. Basically, I know I’ve got fat to lose, but the average American thinks I’m plenty thin. When I’m happy with how I look, I’ll stop considering my physique to be a potential liability. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/08/22 03:11 PM |
| 30 | Dating After 30 - The Dating Flip - Does It Exist?I’m a man in my mid-30s. I would say that the “flip” doesn’t exist. Certainly not the way you’ve portrayed. You only need to look to the datingover30 sub to see what a shitshow it is. Arguably, my perspective is skewed. I didn’t really date around in my 20s. I met my ex in college, pre-tinder, and married her. So maybe I don’t know how shitty dating could have been. And now, after dating the past few yrs in my 30s, I’ve had a few casual/situationships, some flings, and some one night stands. But… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/08/22 03:44 PM |
| 1 | What do successful and educated men (lawyers, doctors, men in finance) look for in a partnerI could be wrong, but I do agree with the sentiment of “looks supersede everything.” If I’m not attracted to someone, it’s a non starter. Being educated, well-read, intellectually curious, culturally experienced, earning a good income, etc… those are all bonus points. In the same way that I don’t fault women for choosing men they find attractive, I am similarly unapologetic about men only chasing women we find attractive. I think it’s possible to shift our sense of “what is attractive” with enou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/22 11:53 PM |
| 3 | What do successful and educated men (lawyers, doctors, men in finance) look for in a partnerMeh. If all things were equal, yes, I’d prefer an educated and culturally vibrant partner. But I’m a divorced man in my 30s. Many educated UMC women here pass on me. Some are interested, but I’m not attracted. Still others are interested and attractive, but they’re single mothers/etc. To your credit, I wouldn’t seriously date a stripper, and I wouldn’t be able to have a decent conversation with a hot airhead. But I don’t think that someone working in a field associated with lower socioeconomic s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/22 09:38 PM |
| 2 | What do successful and educated men (lawyers, doctors, men in finance) look for in a partnerHonestly? This depends on your age and life stage. Most of us meet our partners in college, Med/law school, etc. Obviously some of us get divorced. As a divorced MD who still aspires to start a family, this is what I look for: 1) am I attracted to her? If I’m not, it’s a non-starter 2) do we get along? 3) does she want/have kids? 4) are we sexually compatible? 5) do we have similar values/life goals? 6) do we have compatible financial views? Other things that I might consider: 1) single mothers,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/22 09:25 PM |
| 2 | What qualities does someone you see yourself enjoying have VS. someone you asked to marry?Man here. I could see myself enjoying a casual relationship with an attractive single mother. I will not ask such a woman to marry me. I doubt my opinion on this matter will change until I’m old enough that the women I meet are empty nesters. And even then, I don’t think I’d ask any woman to marry me at that age. For me, I look at marriage and starting a family as inseparable. If I’m too old to want to start a family, I don’t really think marriage will be important to me. I might similarly be ok… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/08/22 01:57 AM |
| 2 | What are the future consequences of RP going mainstream?I still have no idea who this Andrew Tate is or why he’s at all relevant. Don’t get me wrong, I’m aware of TRP, I just don’t agree with all of it. Much like I don’t agree with BP. But what little excerpts I found of this guy don’t scream RP. They mainly look like a guy with low level mania ranting about stuff. Every now and then, he preached something to the effect of “men should work on being better men or they shouldn’t complain about shit.” If that’s TRP, then I suppose self improvement is ma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/08/22 01:12 AM |
| 6 | Straight men, when is it OK for gay men to cold approach you?Was this supposed to be a gotcha type of post? Like are you trying to encourage the men of PPD to start hitting on women, “unwanted attention” and “creeper” concerns be damned? If so, I guess I agree. But the fears that men have nowadays about asking women out is real. As for your question… I’ve been hit on by gay men in the past, and I’m sure they’ll hit on me in the future. It ends in a slightly awkward “no thanks, we’re on different teams.” And it results in a nice ego boost for the rest of t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/08/22 11:38 PM |
| 3 | Q4W: How often do you make very attractive men wait for sex to vet him?Agreed. I’ve dumped some women at that stage a couple of times now. Makes all parties feel shitty, and makes me second guess myself repeatedly. I fucking hate that, because sex is goddamn important to me, and I’m not going to settle for mediocre sex with a good woman. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/08/22 06:30 AM |
| 2 | Why don't more people use dating agencies?It’s probably a monetary issue. Matchmakers, when I was researching them, started off around 2k/mo, give or take, for a short term contract. Not a lot of folks can afford to splurge like that. I’m doing it, and I have to say, I’m lukewarm to the notion. It’s been very freeing to not have to swipe all day and still have a pretty robust dating life. But the women I’m being matched with seem… lackluster. Perhaps my standards are too high, perhaps single childless women in my area are lackluster, wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/08/22 06:18 AM |
| 1 | FDS (female dating scam) and the irony of how women always say the manosphere only exists to scam young men out of moneyA little off topic, but from the excepted comments you posted, it suggests that FDS might have moved in a less toxic direction than what I remember it being. I lurked there on and off for probably a month or so to see if I could gain some insight into women’s perspectives on dating, but the misandry and entitlement was just too much for me. If the podcast is now encouraging women to do something like “don’t be fat,” that’s heaps better than what I remember FDS being. Back in the day, my impressi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/08/22 04:37 PM |
| 3 | What exactly qualifies as a high n count "bodycount" to people on this sub?1) people on PPD aren’t reflective of real life. I would argue that most of us, myself included, are relationship failures. Otherwise we’d have no reason to have stumbled on the “pills,” rejected them, and sought discussion on PPD 2) I still argue that body count isn’t important. Some folks cite some paper about pair bonding, etc. Maybe there’s some truth in that research. If it’s 100% explanatory (hint: nothing ever is), then I’m doomed to fail, and none of this shit matters. Should someone lik… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/08/22 04:28 PM |
| 3 | Why is it a bad deal?That is one of many intuitive approaches if you view sex as something that is precious. And if that were true, then men being upset that the same woman will quickly have casual sex with one man (sex material), but will make another man (boyfriend material) wait x dates for it, then I would argue that men are right to be upset. The caveat here is that I think the men of PPD overestimate the prevalence of women who are into casual sex, and I would argue that a one-off episode of casual sex does no… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/08/22 09:51 PM |
| 3 | Why is it a bad deal?Not really ridiculous at all. It’s treating different people differently, in a curiously counterintuitive way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/08/22 02:25 AM |
| 4 | Why is it a bad deal?I can’t speak for other men here, but for myself, I don’t know if I’ll want a relationship with a woman on the first few dates. All I actually “know” at that stage is: “am I attracted enough that I want to see her again?” And if the answer is yes, and I’m a man with a lively libido, that same statement could be “do I want to fuck her?” We can understand that women might take a bit to warm up to someone. But if we know that a given woman can be quick to warm up to someone else, then realizing tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/08/22 01:45 AM |
| 1 | What is the point in discussing these issues if there is no solution to them?Discussion and dialogue is one very important tool in being able to effect change. Is your alternative to disband PPD and silence the kinds of conversations (however derivative) we have here? Because if so, I would argue that your alternative is a world that is relatively worse off than it is now. And that argument alone is reason enough to continue these discussions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/08/22 10:35 PM |
| 1 | My theory on why men are often so sex obsessed, and why they often equate sex with love.When you break it down that way, I view EQ as a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B. You’ve got to recognize your emotional state, assess a third party’s emotional state, and learn how to manage both. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/08/22 10:32 PM |
| 18 | My theory on why men are often so sex obsessed, and why they often equate sex with love.I think men having low emotional intelligence is a bit of a cop out, honestly. I think it holds true for a significant swath of men, but for a lot of us, it doesn’t apply. For one, everyone from the millennial generation and onwards has heard that since childhood. We’ve been more aware of it, and have tried to improve. A lot of us, I think, are aware of the emptiness/loneliness, while simultaneously seeing that being truly open with your emotions only scares off women. So we do as our forefather… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/08/22 09:50 PM |
| 3 | Men and Women - Would you accept your 18yr old daughter to marry a wealthy man significantly older than her?18? No. I wouldn’t want her to be thinking about marriage until after 24ish, at the earliest. There’s a lot of growth and maturation that happens in college and the first few years post college as we settle into adult life. I would not want a hypothetical daughter to make an (ideally) lifetime commitment before she’s had a chance to do that. I wouldn’t be excited about an 18yo daughter dating a 40yo man, provided I could meet him and assess his character. But I would do this with any man my daug… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/08/22 10:58 PM |
| 1 | Has any body had a hard time getting back out and dating since Covid?From what you’re describing, I think the work/job stress is occupying too much of your emotional bandwidth for you “to be yourself” and more importantly, for you “to have enough emotional availability to date” someone, even if she landed right in your lap today. Sure, part of it is dating skill/social atrophy, but you did well enough at the tango class. But I think you just need to get your head on straight. Therapy, and likely not much, is all I think you actually need right now. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/22 05:56 PM |
| 1 | Is it a good idea for Woman looking for a committed relationship to get dating advice from their married male friends?I do not think married men would be able to furnish any actionable/good advice unless they were single and dating within the past 2-3 yrs. The dating landscape seems to have changed quite a bit even in that timeframe. The information a long-married man could surmise is simply out of date. I think a woman might get some decent advice from a single male friend/acquaintance with whom there is no possible chance of dating. A cousin/brother would be ideal. Friends are going to be questionable. Ultima… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/22 05:43 PM |
| 1 | Thoughts on stay at home dads?Conceptually, I’d don’t have strong objections with being a mostly SAHD. I’m not threatened by a high earning woman, but my profession requires that I maintain a clinical skillset, so I am very averse to the notion of truly letting those skills atrophy. What if I want to work part time as an empty nester, for example. So I’d just as soon hire out Nannie’s and stay dual income. Maybe with slightly reduced hours. This is all theoretical though. I’ve yet to date a woman whose income eclipsed mine. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/22 05:16 PM |
| 1 | Do men want career focused women?1) do I want a career focused woman? Take it or leave it. I’m a career focused man who is fortunate to have a career with decent work-life balance and that is compensated reasonably well. This is despite how real, inflation-adjusted, healthcare income is a fraction of what my predecessors earned, but that’s a different topic… I want a woman who is fulfilled in the time that we are apart. If she’s strongly family-oriented and would cherish being a SAHM, I can support that. If she’s a C-suite pers… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/22 05:24 PM |
| 109 | If women are fed up with dating men, isn't it on the men to change?I don’t think it’s on men to change because women are fed up with dating men. I think it’s on men to change if they’re fed up with their dating experience. And it’s also on women to change if they’re fed up with their dating experience. Basically, don’t be the idiot doing the same thing 100 times expecting a different outcome. At some point, each individual can “offer more,” “demand less,” or “exit the market.” What each of those things looks like from one person to the next can be very differen… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/22 10:19 PM |
| 3 | What exactly is wrong about being "beta bucks"?A lot of it, in my opinion, is due to the connotations associated with the terms “alpha” and “beta.” Alpha has come to be associated with peak masculinity/desirable/leadership/etc. And beta has come to be associated with anything but that. Hell, the terms alpha fucks and beta bucks are designed to be divisive. Frankly, I don’t understand why someone hasn’t tried to coin the term alpha bucks. Anyway, the fact remains that in any given relationship, there will most likely be a higher earner. And g… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/22 07:17 PM |
| 4 | The Rise of The Single Lonely MaleI don’t think the author is ignoring the lack of access. The author is writing to a male audience. As men, we have little input over the collective psychology of single women on the dating market. The only modifiable variable within our control is, you guessed it, what we bring to the table. That said, the cynic in me does think that the author’s advice of seeking more therapy is self serving. For the record, I do think many unhappily single men could benefit from a course of therapy. I’ve done … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/22 02:04 AM |
| 1 | Women have a much more delusional idea of average than men doKind of an indirect disagree. I actually agree that women’s collective sense of average and normal is skewed more than that of men’s collective sense of average. But… Why does that matter? Why is this view important to you? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/22 05:50 PM |
| 1 | Why does it seem when Western women reach their 30s their expectations get higher(not lower) whenever they are met or not that’s a different story? (Challenging the wall narrative)And how is that relevant? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/22 03:43 AM |
| 1 | Why do some men seem to think cheating is worse if it's the woman cheating?Well for one, we think about how hard (or easy) it was to seduce our partner. All of us had to try. Most of us had to try hard. We know that as far as sexual cheating is concerned, women are generally the gatekeepers. So it’s more of a conscious decision on her part to cheat. Some of us accept the social narrative that men are pigs, and will hump anything given the opportunity. Some of us actually behave that way. Still others might not accept the narrative or personally behave that way, but we … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/22 05:20 PM |
| 7 | Why does it seem when Western women reach their 30s their expectations get higher(not lower) whenever they are met or not that’s a different story? (Challenging the wall narrative)They are welcome to do that. And if men are happy to put that on the table for them, more power to them. It’s a free country. As a man who is fortunate to be in such a position, I take multiple steps to avoid giving women a sense of what I do/my earning potential. I want her to want me for me, not for my career. That’s how I protect against that behavior. And as I’ve gotten older, I also shift my priorities. I have a relatively low age cutoff for wife material, I won’t bother with single mothers… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/22 05:01 PM |
| 39 | Why does it seem when Western women reach their 30s their expectations get higher(not lower) whenever they are met or not that’s a different story? (Challenging the wall narrative)The “standards” probably change. In your post-college years, you’re used to eating 3-day old leftovers and living with 1-2 roommates because you’re broke and just starting out. You still look forward to partying on most weekends. After a while, that routine gets old, your career starts to evolve, and you live on your own. At some point, some women might shift their priorities and look for someone who is stable instead of someone who is fun. Some describe this behavior as dual mating. I agree tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/22 05:10 AM |
| 7 | I don’t see anything wrong with pumping and dumping a womanI’ve had a few one night stands, and I definitely did not “agree” to a one night stand. We just enjoyed each others company enough, and the chemistry naturally flowed into hooking up. And similarly, it naturally flowed into parting ways. In fairness, most of mine were when one of us was in town for only a few evenings for conferences/interviews/etc. My point is, there is no deception. Similarly, I’m not deceiving any woman by expressing sexual interest. Sex and relationships are closely related,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/22 04:23 AM |
| 22 | I don’t see anything wrong with pumping and dumping a womanAgree with the title, disagree with your rationale. I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with “pumping and dumping” a woman. I’ve certainly done it a handful of times. Sometimes the sex is just so bad that I can’t get over it. But I don’t justify pumping and dumping the way you do. For me, if it was bad enough that I don’t want to try to salvage things, it’s time to dump her/tell her I’m not interested anymore. How much effort/time I’ve put into swiping/messaging, how much time/energy… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/22 03:33 AM |
| 5 | [Serious] Q4ALL: How much do economics and class factor into all this?Eh. I don’t care about her economic status. But to your credit, I do care about her class- or at least whether she could fit in at my social functions. I don’t worry about what she earns. Mainly because I have the luxury of knowing that I can support a household fairly comfortably on my income alone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/22 12:13 AM |
| 7 | What are common ways men and women shoot themselves in the foot?Man here. Some women I’ve met could have saved us both time if they: 1) used recent pics. Showing up and seeing that she’s 50+ lbs heavier than I expected is a bad move. I’ll still be polite, but if I’m not attracted to fat, no personality is going to change that. 2) hiding that you’re a single mother. This happens more often than I’d like to admit. Maybe other men don’t view single mothers as a hard line dealbreaker. I do. And when it comes out, I’m done. (Unless I’m looking for something casua… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/08/22 10:53 PM |
| 7 | [Serious] Q4ALL: How much do economics and class factor into all this?Privileged man here. Grew up MC, consider myself MC, though arguably I’m fairly bourgeois. Do I see how my class blinds me to what dating is like for the have nots? Yes. Do I care? No. It’s every man for himself out there. If you’re not getting what you want, you can offer more (improve yourself), demand less (settle), or learn to stop wanting it. That’s it. Those are the logical behaviors. I’m doing my part to improve myself. And part of that, for me, is to encourage my fellow man to improve hi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/08/22 10:27 PM |
| 3 | Does having regular girlfriends cause a man to have a higher income over time?I don’t think the there’s causality here. If anything, having a higher income/being professionally successful makes a given man more desirable in some respects relative to his peers. That would afford such a man more dating opportunities. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/08/22 05:04 AM |
| 1 | If standards are 'on the floor' for men, how high is the floor?Inherently, no, it’s not a bad thing to be selective. But the chasm in selectivity is a curious phenomena that I do not believe is a net positive. Tragedy of the commons kind of thing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/08/22 06:11 AM |
| 1 | If standards are 'on the floor' for men, how high is the floor?This is true. But to the 30% (really thought it was closer to 40%…) of men who aren’t fat but who are struggling, I don’t think it’s an unrealistic expectation to find a woman who also isn’t fat. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/08/22 12:35 AM |
| 3 | If standards are 'on the floor' for men, how high is the floor?Ahh, I interpreted the “standards for men” as “standards men have” as opposed to “standards asked of men.” Mostly because one of the common dialogue themes here is usually along the lines of: Men: nobody is matching with me Women: improve and lower your standards Men: I’m working on that stuff, and there’s no way to lower my standards any further | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/08/22 12:33 AM |
| 12 | If standards are 'on the floor' for men, how high is the floor?I think we’re discussing standards as they pertain to swipe behavior. For a lot of men, it comes down to “is she attractive enough that I’d want to hook up with her?” And that question, for many of us, is the same as “is she not fat?” Generally, at the swiping stage, we don’t care if she’s college educated, employed, lives with her parents, owns a car, has her own place, works out, if she’s tall/short. If we spend much more time than that, we’d waste so many hours of our day. Some men have taken… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/08/22 10:48 PM |
| 2 | Chivalry: what is it? Who killed it?There’s nothing to report you for. I just think that logically, the discussion can’t have any bearing on modern dating. I still think it could be an interesting thought exercise. Sometimes those can be very engaging and enlightening. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/08/22 07:03 PM |
| 1 | Are you concerned with the rate of failed marriages? What do you think could help decrease divorce rates?1) am I concerned with the rate of divorce? Not really. If a couple no longer wants to be a couple, let them separate and try to find happiness with someone else or alone. I think that I should be aware of divorce rates because that should inform me of the gravity of contemplating a proposal, (and it’s financial implications), but I’m not going to live in fear of it. Hell, I think driving remains the most dangerous form of transportation. I’m still going to drive, but I’ll drive a bit defensivel… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/08/22 06:44 PM |
| -1 | Dating spaces gaslight the absolutely living shit out of menSort of disagree. I don’t know that I would really call this gaslighting in the traditional sense of the word. I do think that dating spaces have become unusually accommodating to the dating plight of women and similarly dismissive to the concerns of men. But I wouldn’t call it gaslighting. And in fairness, I do think that the excerpts you pulled out in the OP are pretty shitty. Ultimately, if a man comes to vent about how he felt like he had to jump through hoops to date a woman who only (fairl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/08/22 06:34 PM |
| 1 | Chivalry: what is it? Who killed it?I think you’re conflating things. You’re trying to discuss chivalry as it was romanticized in medieval fiction and comparing it to modern practices. For one, if you’ve ever tried reading any Middle English, you’ll find that interpreting it is incredibly challenging. If you’re trying to define “original” chivalry on the grounds of Lancelot/Arthur, then you should be discussing this on an English literature subreddit, not PPD. If, for the sake of argument, you say that your definition is the one w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/08/22 06:11 PM |
| 1 | Men *and* Women - what makes you a throwback and why should someone not give you a chance?Eh. I’m pretty happy with myself. I’m fairly confident that my biggest handicap in online dating is being a shorter minority. I have things that I’d like to work on, of course. But they don’t strike me as being dealbreaker items. left to my own devices, I need about 3-6 alarms to get out of bed in the morning. Sometimes it’s because I’ll snooze them and go back to sleep. But more often than not, I’m awake in bed, rotting my brain on my phone, and the alarms basically give me reminders to start m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/08/22 08:08 PM |
| 1 | People are always talking about men and locker room talk. Is there anything to this that is specific to men?I don’t think it’s specific to men. I think “locker room talk” and “girl talk” are the same euphemism. I think the root of it is that those are the candid types of conversations that we feel safe having. There is an unwritten rule that what is discussed there is shared in confidence. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/08/22 08:41 PM |
| 18 | Women hate the manosphere because it's the only thing actually helping menDisagree. I don’t think women hate the manosphere because it’s helping men. I think they hate it because significant swaths of the manosphere embrace some pretty toxic us Vs them misogynistic ideas. I would say that that is a valid reason to hate it. Hell, it’s analogous to why I hate the FDS stuff. Secondarily, I disagree that the manosphere really helps men. I think the manosphere is teetering on becoming an echo chamber for men to vent/complain about women in a toxic kind of way. I think it i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/08/22 04:39 PM |
| 1 | Are there any telltale signs a guy/girl gives if they're only interested in sex vs. in an actual long-term relationship?I have my fun. They have their fun. I’m just operating within the norms of modern dating. And if I never find another LTR, so be it. I can live with that. Hope you find peace. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/08/22 03:33 AM |
| 2 | Women only play hard to get with men who have no options, dating her is easy when she's actually interestedIf you put it in terms of disliking feeling like you’re obligated for sex because someone paid xyz, then the analogous situation is that I dislike not getting laid after I’ve sunk xyz dates/time/energy/etc into courting someone. We’re basically describing two sides of the same coin. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with cutting things off at the first, fifth, tenth, or twentieth date without xyz. I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to wait until the end of the first, fifth… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/08/22 01:39 AM |
| 1 | Would you wait to have sex until a relationship is formed?She should bring me joy like my friends do. But since friendship doesn’t involve sex, the friendship I have with my friends is all we ask of each other. In contrast, I do have sex with my romantic partners. And when I do, I’m generally monogamous with them. Dragging out a “getting comfortable with you” phase past the 10th date (ish) is excessive, in my opinion. She is either “fuck yes” about fucking me, or it’s a “no.” You could argue that some women just take more time to warm up to someone. An… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/08/22 01:28 AM |
| 0 | Are there any telltale signs a guy/girl gives if they're only interested in sex vs. in an actual long-term relationship?I don’t count, but my estimate is maybe 2-3 new casual/situationships/yr with perhaps 1-2 one and dones. For me, it seems to come in waves. Total dry spell for a couple of months, overwhelmed with first dates for a couple months, repeat. I don’t pressure women at all. I just stop asking them out if I don’t feel that it’s going anywhere. If that’s “pressuring” them, that’s their problem. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/08/22 01:25 AM |
| 1 | Women only play hard to get with men who have no options, dating her is easy when she's actually interestedI’m pretty sure your use of “hard to get” and OP’s use of “hard to get” are two different things. For what you’re describing, I wouldn’t call that “hard to get.” I think that you just have a different comfort level with respect to physical touch/sex. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I would also argue that there’s nothing wrong with a “3rd (or 5th/6th/etc) date, better have sex by now” type of mentality. I personally lose interest if I haven’t kissed by the 5th date (usually, if there’s a fu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/08/22 12:20 AM |
| 5 | Women only play hard to get with men who have no options, dating her is easy when she's actually interestedMixed disagree/agree. Dating her is easy when she’s actually interested: duh. Women only play hard to get with men who have no options: disagree. Some play hard to get because it’s their style of flirting, but if she likes you, she’s playing so that you can catch her. If she’s making it too much of a challenge, it’s more that she’s not into someone than it is that the man has no options. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/08/22 05:31 PM |
| 4 | CMV: Men who do not have a protective/dominant instinct are flawed.Disagree. Change the term “flawed” to “different,” and I would agree. Flawed implies that there is a way that men are supposed to be. As in deviations from that are wrong. Like most things in life, I think there is a spectrum of behaviors/preferences, including dominant/submissive and protector/protected. And I don’t think that there is a “correct” way to be a man. I do think that there is a “common” way to be, and deviations from that “common” way can be noted. But I don’t think said deviations… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/08/22 10:19 PM |
| 3 | Are there any telltale signs a guy/girl gives if they're only interested in sex vs. in an actual long-term relationship?Man here. I honestly don’t know that there are consistent telltale signs. And if there were, I would imagine that the men who are happy to string women along for casual sex would learn to hide those signs. I’m a man who is looking for marriage material, and sex is important to me. I will absolutely drop an innuendo, if I see the opportunity, to make it clear that I am into her sexually. And if I’m lucky and we have an open conversation about it, I’m forthcoming about 1) if I don’t feel like ther… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/08/22 10:14 PM |
| 0 | Would you wait to have sex until a relationship is formed?Me personally, no. I’m a man with limited time. I’d rather not see a woman for dates for weeks on end without progression to sex in a timely (to me) fashion. Sex is important to me in a relationship. If she doesn’t like me enough to want to have sex somewhat soon-ish, then she doesn’t like me enough, or she doesn’t like sex enough. There’s probably another explanation too. But regardless of explanation, the incompatibility on sexual libidos and passion for each other is basically a dealbreaker f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/08/22 02:51 AM |
| 1 | Agree or Disagree: It’s not that women don’t care about “looks.” They do. It’s more that they’re “turned off” by socially inept behavior and turned on by sexy socially adept interaction.I agree that individual women have a looks threshold, and if a man passes that threshold, then it’s a matter of whether he can fuck up enough to turn her off. So most women can honestly say “looks matter, but xyz matters more.” But at a population level, I think this dynamic ends up playing out a little differently. I think when women collectively write off significant portions of the male population as being too unattractive to date, that male population is fully entitled (and accurate) to clai… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/08/22 02:44 AM |
| 1 | Sugar/Transactional Dating is eventually going to become normalizedThe average American is living paycheck to paycheck. Or barely saving, at best. On what planet do you envision enough single men having the disposable income to meet a given woman’s “price” in order to actually go on a date with her? Bear in mind, he’d have to be able to afford that expense for probably at least a few dates before he’s got a reasonable chance of getting laid. But for the sake of argument, let’s say that somehow all these lonely single men get a 10k/mo stipend to spend on dating.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/08/22 02:38 AM |
| 0 | What NON self-gratifying things do you look for in a woman?I have a threshold for women who interest me enough to pursue, and another threshold for the women who are interesting enough to pursue as marriage material. Physical attraction ends up being a shared prerequisite. If it’s casual, it is necessary and sufficient. If it’s for marriage material, then intelligence, kindness, personal values, family connections, educational pedigree, etc all become considerations. Mind you, I don’t expect anyone to “check off all the boxes” - I just know that those a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/08/22 10:54 PM |
| 1 | Sugar/Transactional Dating is eventually going to become normalizedDisagree. It might lose some of the stigma, but it will never be normalized. There simply aren’t enough wealthy men around to make it commonplace. My individual income is somewhere in the top 2-3% of household incomes. I could probably afford to date this way, but I won’t do it because it’s financially irresponsible in the long term. So let’s just say the top 1% of households can do it long term. How many of those households are single? I’d hazard a guess only a small percentage. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/08/22 10:48 PM |
| 2 | Money in dating and relationshipMan here. I earn a comfortable living, so I know that how I behave is not how a typical man can behave. First dates are anywhere between 60-120 after tip. If I am going on enough dates to exceed 2-3k/month, I might start caring about dating expenses. But as it stands, I probably spend 200/mo or less between matches and upwards of 1k/mo if I’m actively courting someone. I go to every date expecting to pay. I would say 99% of the time, I pay for the first date, and she expresses thanks. If it goes… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/08/22 10:37 PM |
| 1 | Did allowing women to join the workforce increase their value overall?Eh, I would argue that women joining the workforce in greater numbers objectively increased women’s economic value overall. There’s generally been a rise in wealth/GDP over this time frame as well, so I don’t think that women necessarily captured their economic value at the expense of men’s economic value. In other words, I think the entire pie grew larger, and women captured some of the new slices. As for what men bring to the table nowadays (if not en masse, then at least my peers) are more aw… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/07/22 06:35 AM |
| 1 | I asked this for women the other day so I’ll ask this for men now. And same thing guys, I want you to genuinely think about it before impulsively answering.I think conceptually the abundance of choice/being overwhelmed with choice is something that I could sympathize with after I’ve been able to experience it myself. For example, I strongly dislike a lot of shopping specifically because of decision fatigue. I do sympathize with women’s dating social calendar being overwhelming. There have been two periods of time where I’ve gone on first dates with 4-5 women in a week. It was exhausting, and not fun. By the time Friday rolled around, I kind of want… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/07/22 03:30 PM |
| 3 | What issues do you actually feel for women about?Personal safety. Walking alone at night without mace, not leaving drinks unattended at bars, first date emergency exits are things that I, as a man, have the privilege of not worrying about. But it’s only a privilege because women have to worry about those things, and in my opinion, things shouldn’t be that way. I’m fairly liberal in general, but I have some opinions that skew conservative. So stuff like the wage gap doesn’t bother me. Conceptually, if an employer is going to hire someone and th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/22 06:18 PM |
| 2 | What would your advice be for undesirable women?My advice would be the same as it would be for undesirable men. 1) reflect on what it is that you truly want 2) reflect on why it is you’re not finding what you want 3) take steps to rectify any deficiencies or otherwise address what was identified in #2 Without knowing any details specific to you other than your age/inexperience, the below is all speculation. 1) if you’re overweight, diet (more than exercise) will get you 95% of the way there 2) if you’ve got an actual physical disfigurement, p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/07/22 09:26 PM |
| 4 | What would your advice be for undesirable women?My advice would be the same as it would be for undesirable men. 1) reflect on what it is that you truly want 2) reflect on why it is you’re not finding what you want 3) take steps to rectify any deficiencies or otherwise address what was identified in #2 Without knowing any details specific to you other than your age/inexperience, the below is all speculation. 1) if you’re overweight, diet (more than exercise) will get you 95% of the way there 2) if you’ve got an actual physical disfigurement, p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/07/22 09:25 PM |
| 22 | Do you care less if you're cheated on by a woman with another woman?Agreed. Cheating isn’t something I would tolerate in a relationship. I deserve better. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/07/22 03:01 PM |
| 1 | What trait(s) automatically puts a man above average?Pretty sure you’re saying the same thing that I did… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/22 10:30 PM |
| 1 | What trait(s) automatically puts a man above average?I would argue that a college education is about average nowadays. I could be biased with my upbringing or have really selective memory, but very few people in my public HS didn’t pursue further education. Being lean/fit is a good step in the right direction. Being fat is the average, but the fatness is skewed by the super fat. So the average population of people competing for “not fat” women is going to trend more lean anyway. I think earning one standard deviation above the mean household incom… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/22 07:35 PM |
| 2 | The process of 'wooing' a woman is important for men to form a successful relationshipI think the counter argument is that: 1) not all men adopt those behaviors to their core identity. Some men - possibly a substantial proportion - do them specifically as part of the modern dating ritual. 2) for those men especially, if those behaviors were necessary to “catch” her, I would argue that those men especially would justifiably wonder whether they “won her over” due to pomp and circumstance vs just being the kind of men they are. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/22 05:42 PM |
| 17 | is the best sex being had by the hottest people??I think hotter people have more pleasant sex, but whether it’s better is a separate question. One of my former flings was absurdly attractive. To this day, I don’t quite know how we even happened. Foreplay was good, but the sex… was some of the most basic I’ve had in my life. Seeing her figure bouncing was very pleasant and awesome, but the actual sex? Not as enjoyable as when we just hung out. And certainly not as memorable as the foreplay, in hindsight. One of my recent flings was modestly att… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/22 11:17 PM |
| 1 | How soon should you schedule a first date?I exchange basic pleasantries, but I make it clear that I want to go out on a date within the first 2-3 days of chatting unless the chatting has been veeeeery slow. If the chatting has been slow, I begin to lose interest too. Anyway, I schedule the first date early, but I’ve scheduled first dates as far as 1wk later or so. And I’ve also gone on first dates on the same day as a match. It just depends on how the conversation is flowing, whether it’s a weeknight or a weekend, and whether we’ve got … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/22 09:29 PM |
| 1 | how is this fair ?Is it fair? No, it’s not. Date who you want. Fuck that noise. However… From what you’re describing, it sounds like this girl might be loosely affiliated with your female friend group. If so, I would hazard a guess that said female friend group isn’t going to be very friendly to you for some time to come. I have a handful of close female friends. I know that I can be honest with them, and not be judged for it. But that is because they’re true friends. The women you describe don’t seem like they’r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/22 09:25 PM |
| 2 | How Long is Too Long to Wait For Sex?Maybe 10 dates. My typical dates are dinner/conversation at decent restaurants. We’re together 2-3hrs easy. If after 20-30hrs of getting to know me, it’s going to be a huge uphill battle for me to keep seeing her. I suppose if she’s showing me that she’s strongly attracted to me but has a hangup about penetrative sex that she communicates to me, maybe. But I can’t fathom a hangup that I’d be okay with. Because if that were the case, she’d be telling me that she’s got a hangup about sex that I ha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/22 07:05 PM |
| 5 | How Long is Too Long to Wait For Sex?5-6 dates ish for me. That’s assuming that we’re not progressing from kissing/heavy petting/etc and I’m continuing to plan and pay for dates. If there’s progression or if she’s paying/planning some dates, I’ll probably wait for 10 dates or so. Certainly if we haven’t hooked up by then, she’s not sexual enough for me, not into me enough to let her guard down, has some different view on sex that I can’t articulate here. I don’t care what the reason is. I won’t bother pursuing at that point. In fai… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/22 06:49 PM |
| 1 | What do YOU think you can do to improve your dating prospects?I’m a relatively fit (BMI ~21) but scrawny and shorter minority with a successful “high status” career. As for actionable physical improvements, I think I could put on some muscle if I ate enough and lifted more intensely than I do now. Maybe drop another 3-5% body fat or so. But I think my biggest hurdle is that I don’t socialize enough. At least not in mixed company. My hobbies are interesting and fulfilling, but it’s mostly a bunch of old retired men. I’ve thought about taking a dance class, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/22 05:02 PM |
| 8 | Women often like guys who treat them as disposableI think it’s more that the men who are great catches have an abundance of choice, just like many (if not most) women have. And when you have that abundance of choice, you can treat potential dates as disposable because they are. Related to this, that type of behavior/level of confidence can also signal to other women that you’re more desirable than you may be. If you pass a basic looks threshold, that signaling can change your experience. I think that is the more accurate conclusion from your ex… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/22 04:04 PM |
| 1 | It is unwise for men to be emotionally invested in a woman for the first few months to a year of datingI think the more correct statement is that it is unwise for someone to become clingy, needy, overcome by lust/NRE, or otherwise love bomb another person in the early stages of dating. Basically, use your big head to rein in the feels. Since women tend to have an abundance of choice, they tend to be less likely to be caught by those pitfalls since they can learn that lesson quickly. In contrast, most men don’t match with great frequency, let alone date, so those lessons are much harder to learn. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/22 03:44 PM |
| 1 | If you have gold digging tendencies you deserved to be pumped and dumpedMeh- half disagree. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that someone deserves to be pumped and dumped. But as a man who has likely effectively pumped and dumped at least a few women, it was more that over time they became less into me and more into spendy dates. Like I don’t have a problem blowing a few hundred on a really good night out, but I also I don’t make that a habit. Nine times out of ten, I prefer a quiet night in to a big date night. And by quiet night in, I mean something where we cook so… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/22 02:42 PM |
| 5 | The process of 'wooing' a woman is important for men to form a successful relationshipI obviously don’t speak for all men, but I think that “wooing is important” is bullshit. Nearly all the traditional components of wooing- holding open doors, initiating/planning dates, picking up the check, complimenting her, etc - those are normal dating behaviors for me. If I felt that were important to form a successful relationship, then what should I feel when those behaviors result in failed courtships? I firmly believe that the key to forming a successful relationships is that both people… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/22 12:45 AM |
| 3 | Swinging? Would you or wouldn’t you and why? Is there a gendered component to this?Have never done it, but I’m open to the idea as long as we’re both participating. It’s a chance to see how your partner might be with someone else, a chance to see how your partner might react to seeing you with someone else, a chance to get some new ideas from other couples, etc. For me, personally, I don’t think I would be open to swinging on a regular basis. But once a month or every other month, I think I could do. Mainly because I don’t like sharing much in general. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/22 12:18 AM |
| 8 | What would you/ will you teach your daughters ?Have an upvote. This is far more eloquent than anything I would’ve come up with. The only things I’d add are that I’d encourage her to pursue what makes her happy now, reflect on what will make her happy in 5-10yrs, and take the necessary steps to achieve future happiness as well. In all aspects of life- personal/dating, friendships, hobbies, and professionally. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/22 12:09 AM |
| 0 | Mismatched Body-Counts: Important or Not?Lots of questions to unpack here. Here are my thoughts, as a mid-30s divorced man. Should n counts be similar in a couple? I believe that n counts are irrelevant. What matters most is that both parties have compatible values, lifestyles, goals, and yes, sexualities. If it took the man 20 partners to figure out what he likes and it took the woman 2 partners to accomplish the same, and their sexual preferences are compatible, I would say: game on. If they both figure it out with 1 partner each: ga… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/07/22 04:31 AM |
| 9 | When can you say “I love you” in a relationship? Who should say it first?Man here. Not red pilled or blue pilled. You should say it when you mean it. In an LTR with a future, I prefer that she says it to me. Mainly because if I see a future, I’m already in it for the long haul, so her saying it first is confirmation that we’re on the right track. If I’m not sure there’s a future, it’s a really fucking awkward situation. I’m somewhat emotionally oblivious. So for me, I will be able to envision a future with someone before loving her. Hell, I’ll suss out wife potential… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/07/22 10:32 PM |
| 3 | Women need to give men more chances for a while before ghosting them out forever...To piggyback your analogy, I would argue that the phenomena you’re describing is this: many drivers churn through jobs but job loyalty is a thing of the past in cases in which a driver likes the job, they get let go before their pension plan would vest Where this falls apart is you assume that all the drivers want stable jobs they enjoy, and employers have a sense of loyalty to their drivers. Those are big assumptions. Some drivers like trying new routes. And still others might prefer a stable j… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/07/22 07:11 PM |
| 1 | PPD men want religious values in modern women.Purely anecdotal I know, but as a man on PPD, I sure as shit don’t want religious values in a woman. Hell, I left swipe automatically if her profile says “loves Jesus” or “Jesus comes first” or some other variation of that. I for one don’t want a traditional woman. And traditional is still fairly subjective. I want a woman (ideally) who is cultured, well traveled, and well educated. I want her to be competent in the kitchen, but I also want her to be wowed by my culinary skills. And most importa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/07/22 06:31 AM |
| 2 | Women need to give men more chances for a while before ghosting them out forever...So your solution for the woman who is overwhelmed with say 100 matches/wk is to be more forgiving to more matches on the off chance that she doesn’t write off a decent one? The problem is still that she has too many matches. How do you propose a woman like that should fix that? Be more selective? Dating apps give you the chance to show yourself via pics and 100-200words. And all of us think our 100-200 words are unique, when in reality, 95% of us say the same damn thing in a dozen different ways… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/07/22 06:25 AM |
| 33 | Women need to give men more chances for a while before ghosting them out forever...I agree with you for the most part, but… If a woman is still overwhelmed with potential matches, she should absolutely try to optimize her filtering strategy. And for many, that may include ghosting at the first sign of any wrongdoing. Now if a woman is finding herself in a perpetual cycle of meeting men who don’t prioritize her enough to want commitment, and she wants a committed relationship, then I think the more accurate recommendation would be for that subset of women to figure out why they… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/07/22 07:49 PM |
| 6 | What do y'all think about this list of red flags?Agreed. Red flags are intended to be a handful of salient points. Not a cross-referenced bibliography. OP: if you want to use those “red flags” or any other preferences you like, go ahead. More power to you if this works out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/07/22 03:31 AM |
| 2 | Women who have careers and RP mindsetFor the record, I’m a man who does not identify with TRP, though some of my sentiments are shared with what I believe constitutes “core” RP dogma. I’m also a high earner. I don’t think that most women are looking for my financial resources. I do think that there are enough women who want the kind of lifestyle I live/can live that I should be aware. Gold diggers, so to speak. So I don’t publicize my career, and focus on whether they seem attracted to me for me. My success rate in escalating to se… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/22 05:29 PM |
| 3 | Would you prefer to just sleep around with multiple women instead of a relationship?I’ve done the sleeping around thing. It’s kind of fun in the beginning, but it isn’t as fulfilling. I’m in relationship mode now. In part because I recognize that my window for having a family of my own will close if I don’t find marriage material in the next yr or two. (I don’t think I’ll want to be a new father after 40) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/22 05:55 AM |
| 10 | Silent treatment1) you need to grow up and/or grow a thicker skin- going off on people so that “you win” just confirms to those people that you’re a toxic person they should have avoided in the first place 2) silent treatment could be a control tactic, but I would argue that more often than not, it is not. If I don’t want to prioritize someone, I’ll intentionally delay my replies to cool the conversation down. If I get distracted and forget to hit send, I’ll do the same thing. There’s no way for them to know wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/22 05:08 PM |
| 7 | Looks, or money?What the fuck did I just read? Look- if you are a man who wants kids, you’ll have to date women until you find one who wants kids with you. Or you could adopt. Or you could find a surrogate and an egg donor. You don’t need to choose between your fitness and your finances. Stop eating like garbage, and the fat will melt away. Keep working but prioritize enough “me” time so that you can go out on dates. But most importantly, if what you’ve written is truly reflective of how you feel, go do some th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/22 03:44 AM |
| 1 | Why don't single men go to church to find a wife if the sex ratios in church are usually 60-40, female-male?Meh. I tried going to some services a few times. I’m somewhere between atheist and agnostic most days, but I think that most of organized religion’s tenets overlap enough with what I think constitutes a good society that I’m not averse to dating a religious woman. So I tried going to a couple of Unitarian/non-denominational churches. Yes, there were attractive women there. But as a single man flying solo in a foreign environment, I was just too out of my comfort zone to chit chat with anyone. Pl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/22 02:50 PM |
| 12 | what’s the appeal in dating a woman with no experience?OP, if you’re an 18-y/o woman who recently lost her virginity to your long term boyfriend, I would recommend that you ignore 99% of what is said on this sub. This is not to be unwelcoming, but mainly because the folks that tend to find their way here have had a reason to read about red pill, blue pill, black pill, female dating strategy, etc. And for another reason, we don’t fully embrace one of those other subs. The first reason is generally because we’ve failed at relationship(s) or are failin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/22 01:07 PM |
| 31 | How Would The Legalization Of Prostitution In The USA Affect The Dating/Sexual Marketplace For Men & Women?Doubt it’d change much. 1) huge social stigma, so I doubt many more women would become prostitutes 2) quick google shows that they charge somewhere on the order of 3-500/hr. Doubt many men have the disposable income to afford that with any regularity. And there’s a big difference between getting laid as a one-off and getting laid as part of a relationship. 3) even if the supply of prostitutes were to suddenly quadruple and push prices down, the market will self correct to some new equilibrium. A… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/22 05:07 PM |
| 2 | If you and a girl sleep together on the first date, do you become uninterested in her?Depends on the circumstances. I can imagine that if I were simply looking to rack up notches on my bedpost, yes, I’d lose interest. But I’d lose interest after hooking up, whether it’s the first date or the third date. That said, I’m personally looking for marriage material. If I had sex on the first date, the sex weren’t completely atrocious, and she didn’t drop any red flags, I’d be just as interested if not slightly more interested. For me, having sex is a clear indicator that she’s into me. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/22 05:44 AM |
| 1 | What type of girl do you guys hit on?I’m a mid-30s divorced man without kids. Shorter than average, in decent shape/not fat (probably BMI 21 or so), full head of hair, not white. I’m looking for marriage/wife/kids material. This is my swipe algorithm. (When I used to swipe- now I just leave it to my Matchmaker to do the work) 1) does she have kids? Kids are a dealbreaker. 2) does she want kids? Child free is a pass for LTR, fine for casual dating. 3) if I temporarily removed my age filter, is she <32? 33 and up, I pass. I might exp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/22 08:08 PM |
| 3 | Question for Women who have undergone surgery to enhance their looksI think the main gripe with her is that she has a rather long and narrow face. Her nose isn’t what draws attention. And for as many criticisms are lobbied at the way she looks, I’m fairly confident that the majority of men who state she is unattractive would also give up a testicle for the opportunity to date an age appropriate version of her. And I’m saying this as a man who has never found her attractive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/22 01:48 AM |
| 8 | Question for Women who have undergone surgery to enhance their looksI’ve never seen a nose that I’d call unsightly. Honestly, not being fat is all a woman needs to do to garner sufficient male attention from a dating standpoint. Really, I’d think that breast augmentation would have more of an effect size than rhinoplasty. But even then, I’ve personally dated women of many different endowments, and I know that many other men also aren’t as picky about boobs. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/22 04:44 AM |
| 1 | Status is the best proxy for a man's dating potentialWould agree on your physician statements. Being able to pull the doctor card is a cute trick when you’re meeting someone’s parents, but it doesn’t do much to get you into someone’s pants. And if I’m going to fail to get in her pants, I’ll never be in a position to meet her parents anyway. I really think that looks and charm/“game” are responsible for 80-90% of the variability in post-college dating outcomes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/22 04:28 AM |
| 16 | Q4M What’s a high n count? How does that affect a woman’s ability to lock you down?Mid 30s man here. For the record, I think n count is a bullshit metric. 1) too high for LTR? I might get antsy if she’s been with 30+ men. I suppose if she’s north of 100, I might not consider her for LTR material. But realistically, the reasons why she’s north of 100 are more than likely the issue. 2) cutoff for casual? None. My threshold for casual is: not fat/attractive enough, not crazy, nonsmoker. My LTR dealbreakers like cheaters, single mothers, etc are all non-issues for casual. 3) do I … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/07/22 09:35 PM |
| 1 | Seeing your ex’s downfall 5+ years later isn’t the satisfaction you think it isEh, I think it could go either way. It really depends on how “over” him/her you are, and the nature of the breakup. If you want to be technical about it, one could argue that you’re not truly “over” someone until you simply don’t care about their station in life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/22 11:29 PM |
| 6 | Intentionally changing the Gender-Ratio in SocietyInteresting thought experiment. I’ll bite. Reasons why this should not be pursued: 1) explicitly values one sex more than the other - huge ethical implications. What would non-binary and trans folks say to this? And homosexuals? What about men who are proud to be men? And women who are happy to enjoy a position of privilege? And what about some religions (Catholicism entirely, and likely some groups of other major religions)? 2) 20k (probably 20-40k) per potential female pregnancy is a significa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/07/22 09:17 PM |
| 1 | Conflicting desires about wanting women with ‘standards’I don’t think the concepts are necessarily conflicting. At least not in my mind. If a woman wants to set some “standard” as 6’ or taller, she’s chasing something like the 90th percentile of all men to begin with. And if she then wants to add another standard like income>100k, she’s wanting something on the order of 80th percentile income. Certainly the categories aren’t mutually exclusive, but one can readily extrapolate that the men who meet multiple criteria are far fewer than the number of wo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/22 03:28 PM |
| 1 | How Much Is Too Much: N-Count Baseline Answer?Midwestern, as I’ve used it, refers to the geographical part of the country. To your credit, osteopathic medical schools did originate in the Midwest and are much more prevalent here. I moved here after graduation. For years the two tracks were felt to be equivalent, but as I understand it, it wasn’t until more recently that new graduates began to compete for the same residency spots in a combined match. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/22 12:24 PM |
| 1 | How Much Is Too Much: N-Count Baseline Answer?Too much is going to be a different number for all parties- I don’t think it’s possible to have a consistent and fair “baseline” standard for “too much.” And I still don’t get the obsession with discussing body counts. If you’re getting laid and happy with it, be happy and don’t compare yourself to others. If you’re not getting laid/not happy, take steps to find happiness. “Losing count” has a nice measure to it. But what about the women who are in committed relationships but live alternative se… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/22 05:24 PM |
| 4 | Do most women acknowledge the fact they have very high standards and that the man they want probably has way less and doesn’t ask for much from a woman?I’m a man, so this is largely speculation on my part. I think that women recognize that they have high-ish standards, but they don’t realize that 1) sufficiently high standards will exclude such a huge proportion of men that they are unrealistic 2) the fraction of men who meet said standards have standards of our own 3) just because a woman is proud of her job/house/car/etc doesn’t mean that their target men care about any of that. 4) standards does not necessarily translate into relationship su… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/22 05:11 PM |
| 7 | What's the consensus here about women approaching men?I think most men here claim that they would welcome being approached by women. But what we don’t know is whether we’d react just as coldly as women do when women are approached by unattractive men. For my part, I believe that I would welcome being approached by women. And to your credit, I think I would be skeptical if an attractive woman approached me. Generally, I am approached by attractive women every time a pharma rep or device rep comes to my practice. I honestly don’t know how I would res… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/22 05:46 AM |
| 6 | What do you consider the ideal body (for the sexes you're attracted to)?For me, personally: Petite (under 5’2” or so) thin/normal BMI (probably 120 lbs or less for someone under 5’2”) hourglass figure As for why? There are some things I enjoy in the bedroom for which being able to throw a woman around the bed makes it much more enjoyable. Being a shorter/not ripped man myself, a 5’2”/120lb-ish build is about ideal. And I like hourglass figures from a logistics of spooning standpoint, and because hourglass curves on a slender woman is the figure that most consistentl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/22 05:38 AM |
| 5 | if the population were 75% men and 25% women, would women have more or less privilege in society?Depends on the culture. For most western societies, I think women would have more privilege. For patriarchal societies, probably less. As I understand it, China is playing out a version of this with their one child policy. Their current generation is skewed to males, and I believe that women are “valued” more because of their relative scarcity. Whether that would still hold true at a 75:25 ratio is unknown. I’d have to believe that at some threshold, society would devolve. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/22 05:32 AM |
| 3 | Q4All - What percentage of men do you believe care about n count on some level?There’s a big gap here. I wouldn’t date a prostitute for a lot of reasons, but it’s not her n count. Same for a porn star. There’s enough of a stigma in our relatively puritanical society that my association with those people is a non-starter for a serious relationship. But it’s not because of n count. People here like to talk about n count and pair bonding. I think it might be a factor, but I don’t think it defines someone’s ability to pair bond. For me, I want someone who has had enough sex to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/22 06:31 PM |
| 3 | The idea that red pillers are some fringe minority of basement dwellers commiserating in back alley forums is a huge misconception. Most red pillers are attractive, desirable men who have some degree of success with women.Eh, disagree. The most vocal TRP folks online will be 1) those selling TRP advice, 2) those who are in the “I’m still reeling in pain from xyz and hate everything-especially women/the woman who hurt me”, and 3) people who are trying to get into TRP but are unsuccessful. As I understand it, TRP is a framework for getting laid more regularly. So those who are able to implement it (ie those desirable men who have some success) won’t be vocal about it online because they’re too busy implementing it … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/22 06:25 PM |
| 2 | Q4M. Do you imagine vivid images about your partner past(or even just possible) experience?Nope. If I’m going to use my imagination about sex, it’ll be to fantasize about what I want. It’s really easy not to imagine stuff when you don’t know a partner’s ex. It’s understandably more challenging if you know the ex. One solution: don’t date friends exes, don’t date single mothers (who might introduce you to an ex during a kid exchange) Up to you whether you think that’ll work for you though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/22 06:21 PM |
| 1 | Would limiting choice in online dating make it more effective?Interesting idea. While I do think that being overwhelmed with choices is a net negative to dating collectively, it does make possible for individual optimization. Some apps have limits. The League gives you 3 matches a day, and you can right or left swipe them. Matches have 14days between messages to keep the conversation going before it expires out. But the userbase, at least where I live, is nil. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/22 06:18 PM |
| 1 | Can omega male or somebody like it became alpha ?Take care of your depression first. Then think about women. Maybe you can overcome it with some therapy. Maybe you’ll need meds. After overcoming that hurdle, try to piece your life together again- figure out how you’ll take earn a living. Reconnect with friends/repair your social social. After you do this, then you might be able to realistically think about women and find something sustainable. Alpha/beta is such bullshit, in my opinion. Nobody is “on” 100% of the time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/22 02:48 AM |
| 4 | True or false, women on this sub are more likely NOT representative of the majority of the population but the men on here AREI’m not disagreeing on the entertainment value at all. But if you look at dating success/failure through the lens of relationship vs no relationship, the vast majority of folks here are failures. You would be too, by that lens. For the record, I would argue that there’s nothing wrong with holding out for what you want as long as you’re happy with what you have and can be civil about venting any potential frustrations. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/22 11:08 PM |
| 33 | True or false, women on this sub are more likely NOT representative of the majority of the population but the men on here AREDisagree. I don’t think this sub is comprised of a representative sample of men or women. This sub self selects for people who have struggled enough with modern dating that they found the “pills.” Practically by definition, we’re all rejects/failures. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/22 12:18 PM |
| 1 | What are you and why? (Also why are you here?)Divorced man here. To answer your questions, I would probably call myself purple pill if I had to choose. This is on the assumption that 1) we are socialized to be blue pilled, 2) my understanding of red pill is accurate, and 3) I don’t think any “pill” philosophy really describes the human dating experience. As for why I even looked into the pills, that requires some context. Basically, I didn’t have much dating experience before getting married. So coming out of my divorce, I was woefully unpr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/22 12:01 AM |
| 6 | Why is the physical act of cheating so devastating to men?I don’t think it’s any more or less devastating to a man or woman. If you’re a woman in an emotionally supportive but sexless relationship, and the man has an affair, I would suspect that you would be approximately equally devastated whether it’s purely physical or both physical and emotional. And if you were a woman in a relationship in which you felt emotionally neglected (sex notwithstanding), I would think that a purely physical affair would hurt a little less than a physical and emotional a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/22 01:20 AM |
| 4 | Is pro-female bias biologically ingrained in us? Or is it cultural?Today I learned something new. I’d have suspected that this was more of a cultural phenomena based on China’s female infanticide phenomena during the one child era though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/22 01:13 AM |
| 1 | Did being in a relationship make you more proactive or more complacent?More complacent for me, but not by much. I think I gained 10-15lbs from 21~33 during my relationship/marriage period. In fairness, a lot of that time was spent in school/training, when there wasn’t much time/energy for fitness or date nights anyway. I picked up some new skills because I was interested. Knowing what I know today, I would’ve fought to maintain and create more friendships instead of allowing my ex to be my primary social outlet. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/22 05:57 PM |
| 3 | Are you aware of any red pill/purple pill content creators who are females?Uhhh, I’m not aware of any red pill/purple pill content creators, period. People watch others drone on about this shit? Like it’s one thing to participate in an active conversation, but to just sit there and listen to some rando tell you about how they think the world works? What in the goddamn hell is going on? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/22 12:17 AM |
| 4 | Are there any examples in the present moment of a bachelor tax?USA based, for reference. There is no bachelor tax any more than there is a bachelorette tax. Your options are single, head of household, married filing separately, married filing jointly. Both bachelors and bachelorettes use single. If you’ve got a dependent (like a kid), then head of household can give some tax perks. Unless you make the argument that single mothers get custody more often (and therefore can file as head of household for minor tax breaks), there is no bachelor tax. I would expe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/06/22 10:24 PM |
| 11 | Q4M: what do you mean by submission?I can’t recall if I’ve ever used the term submissive or submission on this sub. But if I did, I would expect that I was referring to sexual submission. I enjoy a bit of D/s play, as well as some other kinks. Certainly I don’t look for subservient domestic types. I already have my routines for domestic chores established, and I think they’re dialed in fairly well. I look for something more resembling a partner with respect to domestic duties. I don’t want her to cook for me- I want to cook togeth… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/06/22 01:58 PM |
| 1 | Why don’t more men get sex bot?Trying to clean the inside of a male masturbator ought to be far more difficult than the outside of a vibrator/dildo. The things are designed to have lots of nooks and crannies on the inside in order to feel good. Which means that thoroughly cleaning semen off involves a lot of flushing/scrubbing. And then somehow you need to dry it so that mold can’t grow inside. And that’s with a male masturbator that you can easily hold in one hand… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/22 02:34 AM |
| – | Today is just another reason why women should be extremely picky about MenAllow me to open with the statement that I believe the SC decision was asinine. As a man who exists in the mythical range between the top 20% and bottom 80% (or whatever percentages you want to use), I don’t think that the decision will have any significant effect on my dating/sex life. And I live in a state that now effectively bans abortions. To think that the decision will have any effect on the dating/sex lives of men who report abysmal match rates - let alone dates/sexual encounters - is la… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/22 08:46 PM |
| 1 | The only way to success with womenEh. Options are one thing. A bunch of bad options? No thanks. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/22 03:30 AM |
| 1 | The only way to success with womenEh, disagree. Single-ish MD here. Obviously I’m biased, but I would argue that I’m competent, respected, and generally happy with my professional trajectory. I personally know a couple of men who are crazy effective in their dating/hookup endeavors. They are not rich by any stretch of the imagination, and work relatively basic jobs. But they are almost 1ft taller than me, their muscle mass is about my total body weight, they are very social/sociable, and they spend an insane amount of time on da… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/22 03:56 PM |
| 4 | So you want women to "lower their standards" but at the same time "not settle" for you....HOW is that possible?I think if more women disconnected from social media and just observed the men around them in real life, their standards would naturally settle down to something realistic that would facilitate them choosing men they previously might not have chosen. I also think the same phenomena would happen if men pulled back from social media, and to some extent, porn. And yes, I walk the walk. Unless you consider Reddit social media, I don’t have a social media presence. And my porn usage is a tiny fractio… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/22 04:58 PM |
| 3 | CMV: FDS women are in no position to have the requirements that they doAgree with the title, disagree with your rebranding idea. Look, I can’t stand FDS either. If they’re still around (I heard they were banned at some point), just… don’t go to that sub. Nobody cares about branding. Hell, I think it’s good that they have a publicly viewable space to bitch about things. It gives some perspective into the female psyche of a small sliver of the population. And it helps men like me identify strategies to avoid them like the plague. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/22 04:55 PM |
| 8 | if you're single but dont want to be, why?Eh. I haven’t really defined things with the woman I’ve been seeing (complicated story), sooo I’ll respond if it weren’t for that one wrinkle. 1) there are very few women here who would interest me I’ve come to accept that my city has a social dynamic where the norm is to get married and start a family by 25. So the local single women in my dating demographic are very limited unless they’re obese or single mothers. The somewhat fit/not single mother demographic is mostly limited to transplants. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/22 12:15 AM |
| 2 | Older guys are not dating young girlsWell in my experience of dating since my divorce, I’ve had 3 partners with 4-7 yr age gaps, and a few matches/first/second dates with 8+ yr age gaps. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/22 10:52 PM |
| 1 | Having realistic standards is highly important.What does anything I wrote have to do with sugar dating or the legality of it? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/22 10:01 PM |
| 3 | Older guys are not dating young girlsSo what? I don’t care what women’s preferences are. Either someone is into me or she isn’t. She could prefer a pickle, but if she likes my total package better than a pickle, I don’t care. I’m just saying that age gap relationships can and do happen. Certainly they’re subject to increased risk of failure. But so are socioeconomic class gap relationships, political spectrum gap relationships, etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/22 09:59 PM |
| 1 | Having realistic standards is highly important.Women absolutely can have a height preference. And if they truly want 6’3” and up, then they’re looking at perhaps 5% of men by height alone. If a woman is compelling enough that she can find such a man and keep him (provided she wants a relationship with him), by all means, she should do so. I also think people should recognize when their “standards” are too unrealistic, and adjust accordingly. For me, I adjust my expectations for what my dating social life will look like, and I adjust my expec… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/22 09:54 PM |
| 3 | Older guys are not dating young girlsWhat on earth does this have to do with anything I wrote? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/22 09:49 PM |
| 1 | Why don’t more men get sex bot?Eh, because it’s not the same. Male masturbators feel damn good and damn realistic. But the cleanup is a pain in the ass. I can’t begin to imagine what cleaning up a life-sized sex robot would be like. All that taint sweat mixed with cum… on a lifeless 100lb frame of dead weight? No thanks. Now if there were a sex robot that could move like a real woman, feel like a real woman, and were easy to clean… I’d buy one. If it could also do some basic household tasks, I’d pay a lot for one. But a quick… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/22 07:59 PM |
| 1 | How much of y’all want to participate in hookup culture (but just struggle to get any)? Why?I did enough casually, and I’m getting old enough that I’m looking for wife material exclusively. Sure, having another side girl would be nice for getting laid regularly again. But it’s at least one evening a week that I have to sacrifice to see someone/hook up. That’s time that I can’t spend meeting potential wife material, hanging out with friends, or just enjoying my hobbies. A few yrs ago, I was all about hookup culture. And I did okay. But I went from having one casual thing on the side whi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/22 07:55 PM |
| 1 | Having realistic standards is highly important.My impression hasn’t been that the men here want model-like women. Hell, I personally have 3 requirements: age <32, no single mothers, not obese. 6 requirements if you include no smokers, no addiction histories, and no cheaters, but I think those last two are fairly standard nowadays. And it’s hard to filter for those things before you match with someone. I don’t think it’s men who have the unrealistic expectations. Certainly I don’t feel that my expectations are unrealistic. Even if my expectat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/22 07:49 PM |
| 1 | Would you accept your ex who dumped you and now want you back in their 30s?Hard no. My ex cheated on me. I can forgive and forget a lot of things, but not infidelity. In an alternate universe in which my ex dumped me to have a hoe phase and she now wanted me back, it would still be a no. As you allude to in the OP, I’m not looking to be someone’s backup plan. She’s either “fuck yes” about me/us (and I reciprocate), or she isn’t (and I would not pursue). I don’t mind a “hoe phase”- unlike most folks here, I think it’s important for at least some people to experiment to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/22 07:40 PM |
| 3 | Older guys are not dating young girlsEh. Depends. I think the biggest gap I’ve had was about 9-10yrs. The first date was pleasant enough and she wanted to see me again, but she wasn’t my type. Typically I match with 5-7yr age gaps, but my filter is set for a minimum of a 5yr age gap, so my experience is obviously skewed. That said, I’m in my mid-30s and look very young for my age. And I’m in decent shape, have a full head of hair, etc. I’m fairly confident that I could pass for a grad student or even a college upperclassman if I “b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/22 07:32 PM |
| 1 | Would you take a bcp for men if it was on the market ?Absolutely. I’d at least try it. If it affected my work performance or my sexual performance, I’d have to figure out ways to counteract side effects. It’d take a lot for me to write off male birth control. As long as it’s got a high rate of success, I’d be elated knowing that I’m not at the whim of a woman wondering “did I take my pill today?” Hell, if vasectomies were reliably reversible, I’d get one in a heartbeat. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/22 07:26 PM |
| 4 | Interesting social experiment showing why dating is a numbers game for menNumbers seem a bit low. I think they’re skewed with the age limit, though if he is 22, it’s not unreasonable. Either way, the point is made: Tinder is a shitshow for most men. Did anyone here not believe that? Other things to nitpick: 1) his city is on the small side, so it might be fairly common for people to “partner up” young and leave the dating market for some time. 2) how long was he swiping for, and when was he swiping? If he was swiping in the middle of winter, most of the profiles were … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/22 07:23 PM |
| 4 | Do wholesome, romantic relationships based on genuine love exist in adulthood?Children don’t need to sort that out. I say let them have their innocent ignorance/childhood while it lasts. Teenagers should be more aware. I don’t think there needs to be regulation/sanctions, nor do I think it’s brainwashing. It’s entertainment. People choose to watch feel good stories to feel good. Nobody wants the boredom of what it takes to make a real relationship work. Hell, I love rom-com chick flicks. I think if it seems that a teenager doesn’t grasp that the entertainment doesn’t refl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/22 07:03 PM |
| 2 | Q4Men: In honor of Father’s Day, would you act as a father to children that weren’t yours? Why or why not?Tough question. If I adopted them with a partner, yes, I would. If I were somehow dating a single mother, I might take on some fatherly roles, but I wouldn’t act as their full dad. Certainly I wouldn’t treat kids that aren’t my own the same as I would treat biological children. This is arguably the most compassionate reason I have for not dating single mothers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/22 05:57 AM |
| 1 | How does one make a man “fall” ?Eh. Depends on what you mean by “fall.” The new relationship energy? Just laugh at our jokes, keep going out with us, make out, have sex, etc. Be a normal woman dating a normal man. Fall in love? That one is tricky. For me, it comes months into the relationship. By then, she’ll have told me a secret desire that I’ve been able to turn into a reality, she’ll have a small damsel in distress moment where I get to feel like her knight in shining armor, and we’ll have slept together a lot. I’ve only f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/22 05:48 AM |
| 2 | i know its sounding weird but im wondering if we can be analyze taylor swift lyrics to be thinking about how women is thinking about physical attraction and things and how this is making men feel if men is NOT being physically attractive??Wait. Are you really asking if there’s utility in analyzing song lyrics for insight into the minds of women? If this is just a curious thought exercise, sure, have at it. If you think there’s insight to be found, you need to take a step back. A few steps back. 1) these are song lyrics. Not some manual into the female psyche. They’re intended to be catchy and sort of relatable. 2) they’re written by a successful and conventionally attractive woman. Her dating life is nothing like that of an avera… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/22 12:22 AM |
| 15 | Do wholesome, romantic relationships based on genuine love exist in adulthood?Hollywood doesn’t depict wholesome romantic relationships based on genuine love. Hollywood depicts unrealistically dramatized romantic themes that have no bearing on reality. People fart. They throw temper tantrums. They make stupid/irrational decisions. They say/do hurtful things. In short, people are flawed. Showing flaws on the silver screen isn’t glamorous or particularly audience friendly. And like most forms of entertainment, the goal is to drive ticket sales. It’s not to depict real life.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/22 09:23 PM |
| 3 | It’s a numbers game for men, but women don’t want to be treated like numbers?Man here. Two solutions. 1) if she’s remotely interesting, have a fairly generic but someone customized initial message. Or in the world of swipe based dating apps, only think about messaging after you’ve matched. 2) be more selective on who you swipe right on. Will your match rate go down? Absolutely. But the matches you do get end up being more compelling and more likely to be worthwhile women to meet. You can treat dating as a numbers game without making it clear to the other party that you’r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/22 11:01 PM |
| 68 | The dating market place is changing simply because women don’t need men like we need women.I think it is more that the merging of dating, casual dating, and hookup culture have made it very difficult for people to find what they’re looking for. This is exacerbated by the fact that broadcasting “looking for marriage” and “looking for casual” can both be received very poorly, so most people broadcast something like “not sure what I’m looking for.” The things you describe people “getting” in a relationship are generally things that both sexes want. The only difference is that women can g… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/22 02:39 PM |
| 20 | How true do you think the assumption that females are hypergamous is?Meh. I think it’s more that people are hypergamous in general, regardless of sex. I mean, who wouldn’t want to “date up,” however you define “up”? The RP theory that women are quick to trade in one man for a better one at the drop of a hat, or “monkey branching,” doesn’t seem to stand under scrutiny. If you could truly know what dating someone would be like without actually dating them, then surely we would all trade “up” if we we’re given the opportunity. And certainly by virtue of men pursuing… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/22 05:44 AM |
| 1 | Men care more about a woman’s career/social status than they like to admitThat’s unfortunate. Doesn’t change that if I meet a woman who can live on that, I’d be open to seriously dating her. As it is, I end up footing the bill for dates across a pretty wide range of incomes. As long as she reaches for the check/expresses thanks, I’m good. And I fully understand that I can do this because I come from a place of privilege. But it is my reality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/22 10:11 PM |
| 1 | Men care more about a woman’s career/social status than they like to admitAre you going to make point, or continue to nitpick about a relatively irrelevant detail? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/22 10:08 PM |
| 2 | Men care more about a woman’s career/social status than they like to admitI don’t have a clue what baristas make. My point is: if she can live within her means, I don’t care what she makes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/22 02:55 AM |
| 9 | Men care more about a woman’s career/social status than they like to admitMale MD here. If Alyssa the hot Starbucks girl is into me (ie we’re flirty and I’m able to get a date with her without her knowing what I do for a living), the only other considerations I have are whether there are red flags and whether she is able to live within her means. Plenty of people live on 30-50k/yr. Does this mean that I don’t care about her level of education, earning potential, family background, etc? No, not at all. Those are all bonus points. The big things are whether we’re genuin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/22 11:20 PM |
| 3 | Keeping FWB while in a committed relationship?As long as it’s zero contact between relationships, I don’t really see a problem. Hell it’s like having an on again-off again ex between relationships. I’d imagine this second scenario is relatively common. Hell I’d prefer an on again off again fuck buddy to an on again off again ex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/22 04:51 AM |
| 2 | Women of the subreddit, read at your own risk this will twist your realityThis is way too cracked out to warrant a well thought out reply. I echo what others have been saying. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/22 10:39 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Preferences don't changeIf the woman I’m seeing voiced insecurities based on how my exes physical characteristics, I would emphasize that 1) she is who/what I find attractive at this point in my life, 2) despite whatever intimidating feature she sees in any of my exes, they are exes for a reason, 3) tastes do change over time, but the strength of a relationship is not determined by physical attraction alone. I would not believe that my preference will remain static over time. But if the woman I love dies her hair, gain… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/22 10:36 PM |
| 1 | Question for PPD. Do you believe dating is hard as men are making it out to be? Primarily the ones on this sub? Why or why not?I think dating is hard for men, but probably not as bad as men here would have you believe. That said, I am a man. On this sub. Who says dating is hard. I think part of it is self selection. There is a finite amount of time in a day for a person to dedicate their time/energy towards various pursuits. Being on Reddit means not doing xyz. If xyz isn’t locally social (ie: playing video games with internet strangers/friends), it’s not a bad trade off. But if xyz is deepening friendships IRL, going t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/22 06:26 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Preferences don't changeIf all you’re looking for is anecdotal evidence and a “why” for preference change, that’s easy. Here’s my story. When I was a kid, my preference was petite, thin, not very busty, tan, and brunette. That was what my middle/HS crush looked like. Then I went through a busty phase, and later on a pale phase. This was in part because one of my exes was pale, petite, busty, and brunette. At some point, I started to notice tan/busty/petite blondes, then pale/busty/tall/redheads. Those two “preferences,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/22 06:12 PM |
| 27 | What the fuck is masculinityMasculinity, I think, is all rooted in valuing yourself and having the confidence that “you are enough” to get that which you desire. Or at the very least, that you are methodically undertaking the steps to “be” enough to get that which you desire. If you’re into Barbie dolls and ponies, you are unapologetically so. You don’t hide it, you don’t flaunt it, you just do it. And those who appreciate you will stick around, while those who don’t will leave you hanging. And you’re okay with that. It is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/22 01:54 AM |
| 0 | Is it fair to say that BOTH men and women hit an "Epiphany" stage in their 30s?I think it would be more accurate to say that some men and some women have an epiphany with respect to realizing what they want in dating/relationships at some point. Whether that happens in one’s teens, twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, or never is anybody’s guess. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/22 11:47 PM |
| 0 | Q4MEN: What are the clues a woman can use to tell if a man only wants sex and not commitment?Honestly, I don’t think there is a way to know. If there were, people would find a way around it. I’m a man who is looking for a marriage worthy woman. But I’ll continue to match with, chat with, and go on dates with as many women as I can. And if one woman ends up captivating my time/interest more, I’ll let the others fall by the wayside. They all get the same treatment from me. I’ll take them out on dates, get to know them, and yes, push the sexual envelope. My rate limiting step is that it’s … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/22 01:56 AM |
| 2 | The "traditional" male roles in dating are preferable to the alternativeDisagree. I’m a man who is a bit type-A. I try to only interact (in a dating context, at least) with women who I find attractive. I ask them out. I choose the restaurant/activity. I drive the boat when it comes to dating. That part comes (mostly) naturally. But my rate limiting step is the # of matches I have at a given moment. I would like the option of sitting back and being overwhelmed by women pursuing me. With my personality, I’d still initiate with the ones I find most attractive, still pl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/22 08:27 PM |
| 1 | What are your favorite/top vets?Smokers, gamblers, conservatives, childfree, fat, vegetarian/vegan/bland palates 1-4 just have too many incompatible values with me to be sustainable. 5 is unattractive 6 is going to build up too much resentment about not being able to share a nice/interesting meal together. If not resentment, then at least a growing void. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/22 12:49 AM |
| 3 | What makes women want to enter into a casual relationship?The ones I’ve seen casually were reeling from breakups and just wanted to have light date nights and the chance to explore their sexuality with someone nonjudgmental without expectations of relationships. I just kind of lucked my way into those situations. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/22 12:45 AM |
| 9 | What archetypes do men find like most?You’re a woman. If you’re an attractive woman, just be the style/archetype that is most authentic to you. Men will be drawn to you regardless of that archetype, but the ones who you’ll want to be with are those who are drawn to the true you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/22 09:45 PM |
| 8 | How much do men need to be needed?A woman isn’t going to make a man feel like more of a man. That comes from within. For me, I want a woman to want me, but not necessarily need me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/22 08:43 PM |
| 1 | What is an average woman to you?Two different questions here. Average 25-35yo woman: 5’4”, 125-155lbs (BMI 22~27) probably college educated, probably making 40-50k/yr Bare minimum I’m willing to date/marry: under 32y/o, height variable but BMI 21~25ish, (I’m around 22 myself), college educated strongly preferred, income irrelevant if she can live within her means. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/22 09:56 PM |
| 1 | CMV: PPD is full of nothing, but toxic forced optimists who don't want to hear genuine/valid criticisms on the behalf of modern dating or actual solutions to modern dating's problems, you all just want people to get at it dating regardless if is doing good to one's physique or notThis isn’t a matter of pessimism/optimism. It’s a matter of recognizing that you are on individual in a collective society, accepting that you can only control your own actions, and trying to find happiness (however you define that) within the context of a society of people with free will and highly diverse opinions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/22 02:28 PM |
| 1 | Is it that hard to be top 20% anyway?Probably middle of the road to below average. I’ve been told that I resemble some famous actor in Asia, but living in the Midwest, that counts for peanuts. Plus I’m a shorter man. But I stay in decent shape and live a fulfilling life in and outside of work. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/22 02:26 PM |
| 12 | CMV: PPD is full of nothing, but toxic forced optimists who don't want to hear genuine/valid criticisms on the behalf of modern dating or actual solutions to modern dating's problems, you all just want people to get at it dating regardless if is doing good to one's physique or notPeople can yammer on all they want about a theoretical “solution.” The problem is, said solution requires the collective society to put it into effect. So while it’s fun to have academic discussions about alternate realities, that doesn’t actually help the single folks browsing PPD. What does help the single folks browsing PPD is to tell them their options are to: 1) be better 2) expect less 3) quit 4) stick around and bitch and moan for a while And if they want to connect, as a numbers game, th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/22 08:26 PM |
| 2 | Do women you’re not attracted to you mean anything to you at all? Do you look up to or admire any women?Wtf kind of question is this? This sub isn’t about being apathetic to women or hating them. It’s about discussing modern dating dynamics. I work with plenty of women I’m not attracted to. They’re critical members of my team/practice. And there are several things I admire about each of them. I have a few female colleagues who trained me who I look up to as well. I think most people on here could say the same about either sex. What the men on this sub tend to agree on is that when we’re thinking a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/22 06:31 PM |
| 1 | Is it that hard to be top 20% anyway?You’ll have to ask tinder for that data. And I doubt they’ll give it to you. What is unknown to me is: how many real men are on tinder in my area, how many real women are on tinder in my area, and what proportion of those real people actually want to meet in real life as opposed to getting their egos stroked by the attention? I probably average about 1 match/wk when I’m active. Half of them end up feeling like bots. Another good portion have one-sided conversations, and I stop pursuing. It proba… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/22 02:01 PM |
| -1 | Is it that hard to be top 20% anyway?Doing those things… pretty easy. But if your rate limiting step is actually (and I mean this with a huge grain of salt) something like height or ethnicity, then doing those things might not make much of a difference at all. But I think 20% is more intended to mean the (seemingly) 20% of men who are modestly successful in the dating sphere. Not the 20% best men by metrics like body weight/fat, etc. The fact remains, some guys have the swag, some don’t. Some swag can be learned, some swag can be e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/22 01:18 AM |
| 9 | There is no difference in how attraction works between the sex'sPartially agree. I think initially, at least with online dating, attraction is 99.9% looks, 0.1% the content of a dating profile. What I disagree with is your hypothetical. If men collectively woke up one day and decided that 80% of single women were unattractive and not worth messaging, we would still message the same 20% (choose whatever percentage you want) of women. And those women would still be overwhelmed by us. I think the bigger difference is that for most men of prime reproductive age,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/22 12:43 AM |
| 5 | Romantic successes and failures can have profound impacts on how men thinkI think you’re on to something here. I’m a generally liberal heterosexual man. After a string of shitty dates (or a match dry spell), I’ve learned that I can list my profession on my dating profiles and get more and/or more desirable matches. Duh, my job implies financial security. But I have noticed that when people talk about the wage gap and other traditionally liberal causes for women, I have become less sympathetic. Why should I give up the one advantage I can play in the clusterfuck of mod… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/22 09:49 PM |
| 1 | Men would you trade getting more attention for increase risk of being sodomized, stalked, harassed and being sex trafficked for more attention and special treatment from women?Man here. Hold the rape risk, and I’d be all for it. For the actual reverse, I think you’re talking about stranger rape. I don’t know the stats, but I imagine that that particular risk is much lower than the all-rape risk. So if the stranger rape risk is sufficiently low (say 1%), then I might still be on board. But if the question is whether I’d want to be subjected to a female gaze, my answer is yes. Whether it would still be yes after years of it… no clue. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/22 05:57 PM |
| 2 | should overweight but financially successful men lower their dating standards?You can: 1) lower your standards/etc until you have some decent matches to work with 2) work on your own weight so that you get better matches 3) bitch and moan (I do this often) 4) say screw it and walk away from dating If I were you, I’d work on your own fitness. Not only for dating, but also your personal health. Whether your personality is the rate limiting step is unknown, but a lot of the replies here do raise the possibility that this is another liability of yours. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/22 05:44 PM |
| 2 | Do you agree with this divorce lawyer with 13 yrs of experience on the top 6 reasons people get divorced?Seems like a fairly complete list of reasons to get divorced… what else would you add that couldn’t fall under one of these headings? If it’s simply “pure” cheating, then it’d be the odds of opportunistic casual sex that turns into something more. Opportunistic as in the partner isn’t looking and it just falls into his/her lap. And turning into more as in there’s a connection that is forged and developed over time. The odds of that happening to a partner in a happy marriage aren’t high… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/22 12:26 PM |
| 1 | Which group of women do short men have the best luck with?I’m a short man myself, and while I do think about the genetics of height in my potential kids, I am mostly concerned with my own comfort and happiness. I just like it when a woman curls up in my shoulder, is a little spoon, has to look up to kiss me, etc. So I tend to go after shorter women. I have dated women up to 3” or so taller than me as well. Maybe it’s just that height plays into some power dynamics that I enjoy, but I just didn’t see myself having a good time with them. So I cut them lo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/22 05:50 AM |
| 3 | The bitterest pill of all to swallow : Your Ex cheated for a reasonEh. Not always bitter. At least not in my situation. You can either wallow in the why, or you can reframe the why in a way that you can live with. I’ve chosen to do the latter. One might argue my specific situation is very well suited to that. But an equally valid argument is that I did a bang up job reframing things. As for your argument about people continually wanting to trade up… eh. Debatable. Your arguing that everyone practices hypergamy. I would argue that not everyone does. Some people … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/22 04:31 AM |
| 1 | What Standards that the Opposite Sex has do you Consider Acceptable/ Encouragable .Being a responsible adult is a pretty acceptable standard. What responsible means from one person to the next is obviously debatable. But beyond that, I think you should clarify what kind of standards you’re referring to in the OP. Physical, career, financial, material, etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/22 10:59 PM |
| 1 | men who believe that woman are "after their money" actually know deep down that they have nothing to bring to the table besides moneyI would argue that the top 21% or so of men should worry, based on a quick google of income percentiles in the US. Apparently 100k is 79th percentile. 400k is 99th percentile according to the databank I found. Regardless, what anyone says doesn’t really matter. Every individual man will choose for himself whether to worry or not worry about gold diggers. And believe me- we want to be invisible to gold diggers. At least I do. Women can chose to date and fuck whoever they want. Just as men can cho… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/22 10:55 PM |
| 1 | What's the alternative to "be yourself"?Something like that. Like if you’re trying to date a woman but not getting laid, cut your losses and move on. Most of us figure this out on our own, but from what I vaguely remember, TRP emphasized cutting losses way sooner than I feel comfortable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/22 10:45 PM |
| 2 | men who believe that woman are "after their money" actually know deep down that they have nothing to bring to the table besides moneyYou know how women say that men can’t fully grasp their fear of rape because we’re not women? Or understand reproductive rights/etc? This is a situation where I would argue that women can’t fully grasp the fear of gold diggers because they’re not men, and in particular, not men who earn enough to be targeted. Agree to disagree. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/22 10:43 PM |
| 2 | The Dark Truth about the GameEh. Maybe, maybe not. I have hooked up with a reasonable number of single women into casual sex over the years. They could’ve been lying for all I know. I always ask, and there have only been 2 times when I learned that they were still in relationships. I did not meet those women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/22 09:13 PM |
| 6 | men who believe that woman are "after their money" actually know deep down that they have nothing to bring to the table besides moneyOh please. Every man worries about gold diggers. From the guy making minimum wage to the Jeff Bezos rich. Do you think it’s pleasant to lose half of your net worth? Regardless of what that net worth actually is, the answer is no. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/22 09:10 PM |
| 4 | men who believe that woman are "after their money" actually know deep down that they have nothing to bring to the table besides moneyDisagree. While I don’t believe that women are only after my money, I’m aware that my personal income is in the top 2-3% of household income. I think it’s foolish to ignore the likelihood that women will date me for my money/lifestyle first, and everything else second. For me personally, I know I come from a reasonably good family (MC or UMC by most definitions, although there’s some distant relatives who are old money rich), have a strong academic pedigree (for kids to get legacy admissions if … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/22 09:02 PM |
| 2 | how confident are you with your body? does it affect your sex life?Eh. I’m mostly confident. I’m a shorter guy who is relatively scrawny despite lifting. And somehow I’ve got a small gut. The gut makes me self conscious. Yet everyone who sees me in real life thinks that I’m some super skinny guy. My belly does not affect my sex life. If I can get laid, I’m going for it. The only effect it has is that I know that if I can cut 10lbs (probably hit a BMI of 19~20), my junk might be 1/8” longer or something. But I’m generally confident with what I’m working with. If… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/22 05:23 PM |
| 2 | What's the alternative to "be yourself"?I think “be yourself” is a cop-out (however well intentioned) that a relationship will only work if both parties are authentic. I agree that relationships work best if both people are authentic to themselves and each other. And while I think society would do well to actually acknowledge that many people can change aspects of themselves to become more desirable partners, productive members of society, and healthier people in general. But it’s a bad look to say “don’t be fat, exercise more, do mor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/22 05:14 PM |
| 1 | How true is the theory that we are attracted to people that remind us of our parents?Well seeing as how parents generally give their children unconditional love, I think we’re all looking for that in a partner. And if you’re genetically blessed from a physique standpoint, you’re probably going to look for (and find) similarly attractive partners. But as far as personalities… I think it’s much more variable. Some folks get along with their parents very well, others need a bit more distance. There’s too much variability, in my opinion, for personality to be a huge driving factor. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/22 11:59 AM |
| 1 | Was PPD helpful for you in any way?I’ve been on/off PPD for several months. Early on, being on PPD helped me articulate my dating thoughts and make them more concise. At times, my preconceived notions were challenged and I changed some of my opinions. I think PPD was particularly helpful because I didn’t really feel that TRP was right, and I don’t believe there’s any value in contributing to an echo chamber. Lately, there seems to be a lot more circle-jerking complaining about stuff on here. I could be totally wrong- this is just… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/22 02:48 AM |
| -2 | Opposite Sex FriendshipsClearly nothing I say will change your perspective. Let’s agree to disagree. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/22 05:05 AM |
| 1 | Is hiring a hooker really the end goal for sexless men?I think regardless of the timeline or the cause, women would do well to recognize that sex is important in maintaining a relationship, just as men would do well to recognize that continued efforts at courtship are important to maintaining a relationship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/22 05:01 AM |
| 1 | A woman is never too busy to text back. If she doesn't, take the sign.Eh, I don’t fully agree. There are certainly periods in her life when there’s stressors and some women just want to shut out the world for a while. And obviously if she’s on call and getting slammed, she lacks the time to text back. But as to the examples you describe, if you’re not getting a response in 24 hrs, I personally will initiate a different conversation once. If she doesn’t reply, I don’t pursue. That’s fairly easy to do if I’m also chatting with other women. But if I’m in a dry spell,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/22 04:11 AM |
| 8 | Is hiring a hooker really the end goal for sexless men?Curiously enough, I think my marriage started to trend towards dead bedroom territory at around the 5yr mark before actually hitting it around the 7yr mark. There might be some truth to what you’re speculating… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/22 03:59 AM |
| 1 | why do men puruse women who don't have profile pics on their tinder/okc profilesIf I had a high match percentage with a woman on OKC, but she had zero pics, I’d reach out. I think back when OKC prioritized the match percentage, that was the best feature of the platform because it gave you a chance to find someone who had a compatible personality first. Sure, it was like rolling the dice if she were unattractive, but I answered enough questions that there usually aren’t more than a few women with 90+% compatibility and 100+ questions. As for tinder… no clue. I might match wi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/22 01:56 AM |
| -2 | Opposite Sex FriendshipsThere are basic behaviors and activities that are a part of life. Some of them are socially acceptable within the confines of a relationship. Some are not. My impression is that societal norms hold that going out with friends (ie having a social life outside of your partner) is a normal part of a healthy relationship and that dressing however you like is a normal part of living. If your partner’s attire makes you uncomfortable, you can talk about it as a boundary, and he/she can choose to respec… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/22 03:47 PM |
| -3 | Opposite Sex FriendshipsRead about the first 100 replies. The OP in that thread asked if communicating his discomfort with her crop tops in bars/trying to get her to dress more conservatively was controlling. And yes, trying to control or otherwise strongly influence what someone else does/wear is controlling. Practically by definition. But in a relationship forum, most of the replies were encouraging the OP to reflect on why it made him uncomfortable or pointing out that his GF will be hit on regardless of what she we… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/22 02:06 PM |
| 1 | If a high % of men would be down to hook up with a female friend/acquantince anytime, what % of men would still do it if it's the girlfriend of his friend who wants to cheat?I would think this would be a fairly low percentage. 1) honor the code 2) even if you didn’t believe in the code, or if the friend is more of an acquaintance, those of us who’ve been cheated on before would be unlikely to willingly participate in adding more of that pain into the world | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/22 01:26 PM |
| 5 | Women, Sex, and AttractionAgree with the big picture, disagree with your interpretation. It’s pretty common sense that if someone is hot, you’re willing to do more for/with them. People do all sorts of dumb shit in the name of chasing a hottie. Men and women both. Big woop that there’s an article that confirms this. Where I take issue is the sentiment of “if she did xyz before, but says no to you, you’re being settled for”. Likely being settled for, as you word it in the OP, is something I would probably agree with. But … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/22 08:40 PM |
| 1 | lets say every one in the whole society is being absolutely perfect looking..what would be that hypothetical society be being like?? i know its odd to be think but its like thought experimentWould agree. People will find a way to stratify desirability. Otherwise we’d be overwhelmed by options. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/22 01:35 AM |
| 1 | Dating/Trying to get laid is totally a bad ROI for men.Disagree. Don’t think it’s a bad ROI if you’re smart about it: present yourself optimally, choose selectively, and have fun. I’ve been in this clusterfuck of modern dating for maybe 4yrs now. I’ve had a good sampling of experiences- some good, some bad- all of which I’ve grown/learned from. I’d argue that it’s been a good ROI. If your view is truly that it’s a bad ROI, there’s nothing stopping you from exiting the market. The supply/demand will correct over time to a new equilibrium. Whether sai… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/22 07:25 PM |
| 1 | Q4M On a Scale of 1-10, how attractive does a woman have to be for you to approach?1) how attractive before I approach IRL? For a stranger, I’d never approach. For someone I know, just attractive enough to me. I’m only out in public running errands, working, or socializing with friends. I am focused on being efficient at my groceries/gas routine, and don’t check women out. At work, I’m not going to hit on a subordinate (sexual harassment) or a patient (ethical). And when I’m with friends, we’re usually having a grand time together. If someone catches my eye, I know I’ve got ha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/22 04:38 AM |
| 12 | Lying to (multiple) girls + cold approaching is the best way to get laid a lotTheoretically, I would say that those behaviors probably match up. Realistically, I would say that you need to get your head out of the clouds. Do you have any idea how much time and energy it takes to juggle those conversations and keep your stories straight? I have two friends (more acquaintances, really) who are the prototypical man whore. Every moment they’re not at work or in the gym, they’re swiping and chatting just to keep their match queue flowing. And they’re amazing at doing this. But… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/22 04:24 AM |
| 24 | How will the increasingly large education between the sexes affect dating in the future?I don’t think it’ll be terribly different from the way things are now. Every person has to make a decision of whether dating/partnering up is worth the opportunity cost to them in time/energy/etc. When women start out earning men significantly/en masse, they’ll be incentivized to be more selective than they are already. Some women will continue to desire/demand the provider types. But since there are only so many men who are educated/earn beyond the bell curve anyway, it doesn’t really matter. I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/22 02:53 AM |
| 1 | The One Standard That Fixes Modern DatingWhat the hell are you talking about? Revolution?This is PPD, where like-minded dating rejects commiserate with each other and speculate as to the theoretical phenomena that might explain the world of dating. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/22 02:41 AM |
| -1 | Men are biologically most sexually attracted to 18 year old women.Biologically, girls have the maximum/peak egg count/fertility at puberty. Last I checked, that’s anywhere between 11-14-ish. And while every menstrual cycle results in “fewer remaining eggs,” most women are quite fertile into their 20s. The 30s are where fertility really takes a significant hit, although there is still some variability here. So no, I don’t think think 18 is the magic number. If anything, 22ish might be (based on that data showing men of wide age ranges uniformly found 20-somethi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/22 04:47 AM |
| 2 | The One Standard That Fixes Modern Dating1) accepting that there’s a challenge and then slogging through it without changing your fundamentals is how most people go through life. Like work/careers. Given the option, most people would like nothing more than to lounge around on a beach, watch TV/play video games all day, or some other lazy shit. But we understand that there are needs/wants that can only be met with financial resources, and that doing work to obtain said financial resources is how we achieve that. Life isn’t easy. Work is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/22 02:29 AM |
| 1 | Religion and sexShe could truly feel that way, and last summer’s debauchery was a one-off lapse in her commitment to her faith for all anyone knows. All that is known is that your buddy likes her, she is on the no sex before marriage boat, and she fell off said boat in the past. So all that really matters is: is your buddy okay with that? Personally, I would not be okay with that. 1) I want to have some amount of confidence that we’re sexually compatible before I propose. There’s no way to figure that out witho… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/22 10:24 PM |
| 1 | Men with college degrees have far wider and more frequent dating options.I don’t think the possession of a degree (or lack thereof) is a causative factor. I think dating success/options comes down to looks, putting yourself out there, and once you’re talking to someone, social skills. Hell- plenty of single men in Silicon Valley lament the dating options there. They’re all highly educated/degreed, but they live in an area where men outnumber women. At the very least, they’re not putting themselves out there in a meaningful way. Similarly, it’s not hard to imagine som… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/22 09:40 PM |
| 2 | The One Standard That Fixes Modern DatingMixed feelings here. In a perfect world, I would agree with your statement. But the real world is far from perfect, and phenomena like tragedy of the commons disincentivizes individual men from being more selective unless, like me, they are dating with intention. Even then, if I’ve been in a dry spell, I toy with the notion of relaxing my standards just to “make sure I still got it,” “see what’s going on,” or “just get laid and sort it out later.” So the cleanest solutions, I think, are for men … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/22 09:33 PM |
| 3 | What other socially acceptable ways to pickup women?Well said. And I’m a man who, like the OP, does not have friends/hobbies that put me in a social context with many women outside of the bar scene (on the rare occasion I do that). But I’m social enough that I usually do fairly well when I match with a woman via OLD. I think what the OP is referring to (insofar as bans) are stipulations on meetup.com groups. Apparently many thirsty men have creeped women out of interest groups to the point where it became an issue. Personally I think that people … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/22 03:54 PM |
| 2 | How does your PPD persona differ from real life when it comes to relationships?I’m relatively authentic with my opinions here, and I share them openly with friends/colleagues who I’m close enough to share those kinds of things with. I genuinely don’t care about her sexual history/n-count because I think it’s hogwash. To your credit, I might be a little more dramatic here with respect to not caring about her career or education. While it’s absolutely true that my decision to swipe/meet/fuck isn’t swayed by those at all, I do think about them more closely if I’m considering … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/22 03:19 PM |
| 1 | Do you consider yourself to be the one your exes tell their current significant others not to worry about?Nope. I cut ties cleanly with my exes, and while I don’t harbor ill will towards any of them, they also don’t cross my mind unless my phone sends me a highlight picture with them in it. Short of an ex showing up on my doorstep, looking about the same as they did previously, and asking me to take them to pound town, I would also not touch any of them. So while I don’t know what any of my exes are thinking, they wouldn’t have anything to worry about. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/22 10:11 PM |
| 2 | Is withholding sex as a man a mistake?Just have sex when you want to have sex. If that’s 3 months, then so be it. If that’s 3 dates, there’s nothing wrong with that either. All any of us can do is behave in the way that best captures our values, wants, and needs. For me personally, I’d never withhold sex because I know within the first date (if not the first few moments) whether she’s someone who I’d want to have sex with. I can assess personality compatibility over time, but it’s not an either/or or a first/second thing for me. I c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/22 10:05 PM |
| 2 | In your opinion, what is the difference between a One Night Stand, Friends With Benefits (or F-Buddy), and a Relationship?Man here. Your topic and post content start to conflate different issues. For me, I’ve had my ONS when I’m swiping while traveling for job interviews a few yrs ago. My profiles were all geared for “dating material,” but I guess the algorithms would prioritize me for a bit, and if I started to chat with a girl and asked her out (pretty much the same way I ask them out when I match with local women), it becomes clear to them that I’m in town for only a couple of days. When we get cocktails/dinner/… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/22 08:06 PM |
| 6 | Many men nowadays don't want to date and avoid marriage because they don't want to lose their money and assets and they are afraid of having to pay child support and being able to go to jail if they do not pay itWouldn’t the solution then be to not fear/avoid marriage, but to not adopt kids that aren’t your own? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/22 08:55 PM |
| 1 | What standards do women have that are “too high”?That’s kind of my point. Some men aren’t going to commit to anyone. It stands to reason that the kind of man who isn’t going to commit to anyone is one who isn’t interested in starting a family/settling down, and is happy with what he’s able to do with current state of dating. Whether he’s happy stringing together one woman a few yrs at a time or just hooking up with several different women as they come/go makes no difference. If he is sufficiently desirable that he can get those women to hook u… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/22 08:54 PM |
| 0 | Men also practice dual mating strategyEh. Maybe for a brief period. Eventually you grow up and decide to stop fucking around. There was a period after my divorce when I simultaneously deeply wanted to find a new partner, and also kind of wanted to play the field/experiment with different women. Had I met wife material then, I’d have committed to her. But I’d still have that itch. That said, what actually happened was that I would multidate/casually date. That’s fucking tiresome. And it becomes a lot less awesome when you reflect bac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/22 08:37 PM |
| 10 | Many men nowadays don't want to date and avoid marriage because they don't want to lose their money and assets and they are afraid of having to pay child support and being able to go to jail if they do not pay itDisagree. Many men are wary of marriage because of the financial risks you describe, but I don’t think that fear makes a substantial group of us refuse to consider marriage altogether, nor does it deter us from trying to date. Also, there’s no way someone dating a single mother can be roped into child support for children that aren’t his. That’s an irrational fear. If it is possible, the law is really fucked up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/22 08:30 PM |
| 3 | When discussing dating, women do not consider the average men as people so they compare themselves to the top 10% which is why they think dating is harder for them.Women don’t have to consider the male dating experience to make commentary about their dating experience. If they wanted to change their dating experience, then factoring in the male dating experience might be useful. Ie: I can say that Haagen Dazs vanilla is shit based on my experience alone. I don’t need to taste every brand’s vanilla to decide that Haagen Dazs’s is shit to me. Honesty this is likely a situation of the grass being greener on the other side. While I, as a man, don’t get many ma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/22 03:35 PM |
| 1 | Q4M What do you tell men who have been hurt by numerous women compared to what you tell women who have been hurt by numerous men?To both, I would empathize and tell them that their partners were shitty people, while gently nudging them to do some introspection on why they didn’t pick up on red flags sooner. And depending on if they seem reasonable in their expectations, perhaps a gentle nudge to take time to both heal and work on yourself. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/22 03:28 PM |
| 1 | What standards do women have that are “too high”?Whether standards are “too high” depends on some additional variables. If you’re a woman who just wants casual sex, and you demand a 6’6”, ripped/fit, loaded, former NFL player (or whatever obviously ridiculous requirement), BUT you can find men that fit that for casual sex AND you’re happy with that, your standards are just fine. If, however, shes 1) looking for a serious relationship/husband material, 2) demands whatever, AND has no trouble matching with/dating such men, BUT can’t get any of t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/22 03:22 PM |
| 1 | What is opinion about women who choose to get In Vitro Fertilization and an anonymous sperm.xonor to have children without a boyfriend/husband?If she can afford to pursue IVF and has the resources to bring to bear to be an effective single mother, more power to her. Curiously, this type of single mother is one who I might consider dating were the child young enough and were she still wanting biological children. But since it’d be weird to publicize this on dating apps, that’d never really happen. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/22 07:10 AM |
| 1 | How do guys pick which girls to go for if most girls kind of look the same?People look very different to me. I go after women who I find attractive. Because I’m looking for wife/kids material, on dating apps, I skim profiles and exclude all women >32-ish, single mothers, and smokers. Some of my apps let me set filters to do this for me, some don’t. As I’m skimming profiles, I also look through her pics. I will submit that “average” is technically “overweight/obese,” and as someone who isn’t overweight or obese, I am also not attracted to that. So I exclude those women … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/22 07:02 AM |
| 2 | Do men over 30 really get higher in sexual market value?Never. I generally don’t wear a white coat as it is anyway. Maybe for the occasional advertising photo shoot... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/22 08:20 PM |
| 14 | Do men over 30 really get higher in sexual market value?If you’re willing to date single mothers, it opens up a whooooole lot of options. I left swipe 30-40% of women because they’re single mothers. But this is probably a regional thing- people like to start their families in their 20s here. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/22 08:11 PM |
| 8 | Do men over 30 really get higher in sexual market value?Doubt it. I think we have greater access to sex because women looking to settle down/start a family start to realize that careers/finances can be valuable. But when you’re just swiping on apps, all anyone can see is hot or not. Unless we start broadcasting that we work high power/salary positions. That’s tacky, in my opinion. But I’ve been guilty of including my profession on my dating app profiles if I’m having a dry spell. It gets me dates, and the opportunity to hook up, but I’ve found that I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/22 07:59 PM |
| 2 | Why do men change their opinions/beliefs on things so quickly when women are around?I think this is what people term “virtue signaling.” From the scenarios you describe, this wouldn’t be misogynistic. If anything, it would be the opposite, misandrist. But even then, it’s a stretch in my opinion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/22 07:27 PM |
| 1 | How difficult has dating been for YOU?For relationship material, I’d say it’s been difficult. I know what I bring to the table and I’m confident that I’m a compelling bachelor. But I also recognize that I don’t fit the stereotypical mold for western male beauty/masculinity. I’m shorter, a minority, and while I’m in shape, I’ve got little in the way of muscle definition or mass. That doesn’t change that socially, I’ve adopted western ideals for beauty for both men and women. So my preferences, from a looks standpoint, are arguably mo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/22 02:59 PM |
| 1 | Is dating actually fun for you?The swiping, messaging/texting, flaking, and ghosting are not fun. Meeting some new over dinner is generally fun. I’m fortunate to be able to not fret over the bill, but I am somewhat anxious throughout the date. I’m trying to get to know someone/build rapport, confirm her dating intentions, and suss out whether there are red flags. It’s hard (for me) to keep track of those things while simultaneously keeping the conversation flowing nicely. That said, my better dates are generally with women wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/22 02:44 PM |
| 5 | CMV: If the man makes far more money in a "marriage", the female should do the vast majority of home labor/chores/taking care of children1) if you’re doing comparisons, it should be man to woman, male to female. Mixing and matching is grammatically erroneous. 2) I’m a man who earns a pretty healthy income by most metrics. But I still work x hrs a wk. If I marry a woman who works 2x the hours for 1/2 my income, I’m not going to chip in 1/3 of the chores because I earn more. Thats not a partnership/marriage, that’s roommates equitably distributing chores and rent. 3) I also happen to be a bit anal retentive with respect to many asp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/22 04:28 PM |
| 3 | Can "intentionally settling" ever work in anyone's favour?Settling- truly settling- I think leads to resentment that will erode any relationship over time. To your point, I don’t think settling should be encouraged. But I do think that there’s something to be said for women generally having overinflated expectations. I mean, think about it. If every time you log into a darting app, you get hundreds of men showering you with compliments/attention, of course you should think you’re hot shit. And if all the people you follow on social media look like they… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/22 02:58 PM |
| 46 | Do single mothers get a bad rap?That’s a depressing story. Yet another reason I won’t consider single mothers as long as I’m looking for wife/kids material. Hope your friend doesn’t lose too much in the divorce. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/22 02:40 PM |
| 5 | Do single mothers get a bad rap?Bad rap? Not necessarily. Single mothers are people too. Hell, I have a few single mother friends/colleagues who are great people that I respect. But I wouldn’t date any of them unless I were strictly looking to casually date. I’m a man who is looking for wife/kids material, I have a somewhat demanding job, and I don’t have kids. I can be fairly flexible on the schedule side of things, but I don’t want to compete for her attention. And I don’t want to have my plans threatened by babysitter logis… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/22 02:37 PM |
| 0 | Dating for men is like looking or a job while dating for women is like recruiting for a positionDisagree to a point. The way you describe things above sound about right when the dynamics favor women. Ie: oversupply of men. This is largely true on online dating apps, less so for others means of meeting women. But, for example, when you’re in college with a relatively 50/50 gender ratio, it’s much more balanced. Nothing like what you describe. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/22 06:15 AM |
| 1 | money doesn't actually mean shit to most womenPresuming you live in the US: discussing salary is such a social faux pas that even experimenting with listing your salary on your profile is a huge red flag from a social norm standpoint. Again, presuming that you live in the US, my recommendation that you work on your social skills still stands. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/22 03:59 AM |
| 4 | money doesn't actually mean shit to most women1) putting your salary on your profile is… next level dumb. Take that shit off, for humanity’s sake. 2) with online dating apps, pics get your foot in the door, good text banter opens it wider, in-person “game” gets you home. That’s just the nature of a swipe based dating platform. 3) If you thought that including your salary on your profile was ever a good idea, your social norms need recalibrating. As in, you need to work on yourself/your social skills. I assure you that social skills are the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/05/22 02:45 PM |
| 1 | Women here constantly respond to every complaint by men with some variation of “women don’t owe you sex” or “sorry you can’t get your dick wet” and basically imply that sex is all that men want from women. This is obviously false and used to once again diminish our struggles.Maybe some should. That was kind of my point… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/05/22 02:34 PM |
| 2 | Women here constantly respond to every complaint by men with some variation of “women don’t owe you sex” or “sorry you can’t get your dick wet” and basically imply that sex is all that men want from women. This is obviously false and used to once again diminish our struggles.Re-read. That was a hypothetical situation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/05/22 02:31 PM |
| 0 | Women here constantly respond to every complaint by men with some variation of “women don’t owe you sex” or “sorry you can’t get your dick wet” and basically imply that sex is all that men want from women. This is obviously false and used to once again diminish our struggles.I don’t think those responses diminish mens plight at all. I think they are logical responses to the complaint that men struggle to date and have sex. Women can be manipulative all they want about dating. Hell, they can conspire to deny sex and relationships to the ugliest 90% of men. But that doesn’t change that if women desire monogamous long term relationships, a lot of them won’t be able to find that with the 10% who remain. So even in this hypothetical situation, some women will self select… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/22 06:54 PM |
| 5 | How might a recession or economic downturn impact the dating market?If everyone is freaking out about their economic security, there’s going to be a lot less interest in dating. Period. The average American might stress out about whether the next paycheck will be there, and whether it’ll be enough for that month’s bills. Someone more established will stress out about their 401k or portfolio being down 40%YOY. That financial stress will be one giant distraction. I would imagine that financial stress will also cause some couples to break up. But those people won’t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/22 03:58 AM |
| 3 | If there is a very high chance that a woman will divorce you in marriage is there any reason for men to get married anymore?For me, I’d want to get married if I wanted to settle down and start a family with her. The tax breaks are a small perk, but staying single and only spending on “me” things is cheaper in the long run than getting married and having to share expenses on “us” things, in my opinion. Automatic beneficiary status/power of attorney is kind of nice with marriage, but those rights can be established independent of marriage. The other reason is if you still personally believe that there’s symbolic value … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/22 04:18 AM |
| 33 | The problem of RP menI would argue that the thought process/mentality you describe isn’t unique to RP men. It’s just the prevailing male mentality. We identify problems, devise a solution, and execute them. We build stuff. We fix stuff. One of the most common pieces of advice to men I’ve read is that when a woman starts to complain about her problems, we need to resist the urge to come up with a solution, and instead empathize with her and let her vent. Having done so before, it is surprisingly challenging to do thi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/22 03:36 AM |
| 1 | How long does it take to become good at sex?There’s a learning curve with each new woman. Sure, some patterns emerge insofar as what works for you, and that takes time to identify. But even when armed with that knowledge base, you have to figure out which pattern or combination of patterns works with each new partner. Just trust that everyone’s first time with a new partner is invariably awkward, but as long as you don’t do anything egregious, you’ll have subsequent attempts to get better. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/05/22 03:22 PM |
| 3 | Q4Men - do you think the David Goggins approach to dating will work and if you have tried it, how was your experience?I don’t know what the David Goggins approach is, but by your summary, I think I’ve been doing it. My experience has been that it is somewhat effective, but the more I “optimize” myself, the more I “expect” in a woman. Having recognized that, I still wouldn’t change what I’m doing. I lift/run enough to feel good about my body and overall fitness. And I like that feeling. Having a slightly easier time dating is kind of a side benefit. I have a solid career that fulfills me professionally, but in t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/05/22 06:21 AM |
| 19 | Self-improvement makes it harder to find a partnerI wouldn’t say that self improvement makes it harder to find a partner. But to your point, self improvement does cause you to expect more in a partner. So when your match rate climbs and you see a bunch of unattractive/lazy women wanting to match with you, you ignore them where you might have given them a chance when you were fatter/less successful. The other thing is that self improvement takes time. But the more time you’re out of the dating pool, the more time desirable women begin to leave i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/05/22 05:45 AM |
| 4 | If men want to protect their assets in a true 50/50 relationship, they should not expect traditionality from a woman.Debatable with respect to causality. I’m coming into this as a mid-30s man. I’m semi-aware of manosphere content- I read through a little bit of red pill content (and FDS) trying to make sense of dating after divorce a few yrs ago, but I haven’t looked back since. Although as I reflect on this more, I should clarify. I basically spent my 20s studying/training, and now earn a fairly generous income. In the event of a second divorce, I feel that both parties should really not lose much more than t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/22 09:57 PM |
| 8 | If men want to protect their assets in a true 50/50 relationship, they should not expect traditionality from a woman.Well seeing as how the modern relationship isn’t traditional, by your logic, we should be able to protect our assets. If she’s going to be a stay at home mom/homemaker and treat me like a king every moment that I’m home, then sure, split the assets. But modern women expect men to share in cooking, cleaning, errands, child-rearing, etc. In fairness, many expect to share in bringing an income to the household. At least that is my impression. Despite the fact that many if not most men fall short of… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/22 07:49 PM |
| 0 | The dating scene is designed for the benefit of ambicious smart menDisagree. For one, dating scene isn’t designed for anyone, but that’s semantics. More specifically, as a moderately wealthy, moderately ambitious, and mildly intelligent man, I still don’t feel that I have the pick of the litter. Maybe I’m not as awesome as I believe myself to be. But my salary is in the top 2-3% of household incomes, I’m smart enough to be entrusted to practice medicine, and ambitious enough to have landed a solid partner track in my group. Sure, anecdotes aren’t as valid as da… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/22 08:01 PM |
| 2 | Are standards “too high” if they are met?I agree that people ought to be as picky as they can. I also agree that standards cannot be “too high” if someone is finding *what they’re looking for. But that’s a big if. This really (I believe) only affects women in the modern dating atmosphere. Women can set standards high enough that they can still meet/date plenty of men, but if their objective is to find husband material, it’s possible to struggle to find that despite an abundance of matches. In that case, I would argue that those women’s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/22 10:37 PM |
| 2 | Now that abortion rights are overturned, will you be more wary of casual sex?Respectfully, I think your understanding of science needs remediation. This is beyond my patience to do on Reddit. If we have fundamentally different and incompatible belief systems/knowledge bases, I’d rather not engage in further argument. Agree to disagree. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/22 04:47 PM |
| 6 | The most redpilled dude will be doing soft-cuckoldry.There’s a logical fallacy somewhere in this. I am too tired to sort it out, so I’ll leave it to others more inclined and better rested than I. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/22 06:40 AM |
| 5 | Do men understand how much pregnant women risk and sacrifice?Plenty of women have given birth without incident for millennia. Plenty more will continue to do so for millennia to come. What you’re listing are complications that are generally rare. Nothing in life is risk free. Not pregnancy. Not childbirth. Not going to work. Not crossing the street. Everyone accepts risks to live life. Even for all the life threatening risks you list above, somehow, women’s life expectancy still outpaces that of men. Men will still want kids (and therefore want women to c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/22 06:16 AM |
| 25 | Now that abortion rights are overturned, will you be more wary of casual sex?I’m feeling a little testy tonight. I’m not pro choice. I’m pro abortion. I’m all for expanding access to eliminating unwanted pregnancies because god forbid I knock someone up accidentally one day, I don’t want to be on the hook for child support. That said, if I haven’t started a family in the next 5 yrs or so, I’m just going to get a vasectomy. My point is: sex feels good. Unprotected sex feels better. People want to feel good. No amount of holier than thou, high horse, moral bullshit will ch… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/22 06:04 AM |
| -2 | Now that abortion rights are overturned, will you be more wary of casual sex?Not going to lie, I will be. My state leans conservative, so I figure it’s a matter of time before abortions are made illegal. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still do my damndest to hook up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/22 03:28 AM |
| 1 | Men are just expected to accept that they not only cannot get someone as attractive as them, but that they will have to WORK for someone less attractive. If they question any of this they are called entitled or told they are overrating their own appearance despite confirmation from most.Disagree. For one, I don’t think anyone on PPD seriously argues for men to settle or improve themselves to settle. You can accept what you can get, which may or may not be settling, or you can bow out and not play the game. This is true of any endeavor: education, career, athletics, etc. To your point, assuming 5MV is SMV or sexual market value, market value is always ultimately determined by the consumer. Sellers can set prices, but if set too high, there is insufficient demand to result in a s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/22 10:44 PM |
| 0 | Dating is 100% a numbers game for men, and it is inherently humiliating.Definitely the same game, just different sides. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/22 10:33 PM |
| 5 | Dating is 100% a numbers game for men, and it is inherently humiliating.I don’t think you’re giving a complete picture. I think that dating is 100% a numbers game for all parties. And being rejected is inherently demoralizing, but not humiliating. Someone who can’t accept rejection gracefully, ie a sore loser, will find it humiliating. But for those of us who are reasonably well adjusted, it’ll just be demoralizing. And how much demoralization any one person can withstand before retreating to a safe place will vary widely from person to person. As for the numbers ga… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/22 07:24 PM |
| 0 | Being a man is better…Eh, we won’t fuck anything. Everyone draws the line somewhere. Maybe a super thirsty super horny man might fuck indiscriminately. I’ve had enough sex with enough different types of women to recognize that I cannot simply will my dick into cooperating for sex with just anyone. Can I get erect? Yes. But I’m never going to put myself in a position where I have to fake an orgasm so that I can tap out again. Once was more than enough. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/22 07:18 PM |
| 5 | New study on dates shows that men paid for the majority of male-initiated dates (68%), but women or both paid only 33% of the female-initiated dates.Valid point. I’m pretty quick with my card, and I don’t like the awkward song and dance. So I just pick up the check and look for her to either say thanks or at least pretend to reach for the check or her purse/wallet. That said, I’m more privileged than most in that spending an extra 1-2k/mo on dinner dates isn’t a big deal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/22 09:11 PM |
| -3 | New study on dates shows that men paid for the majority of male-initiated dates (68%), but women or both paid only 33% of the female-initiated dates.Not my area of expertise or lived experience, so I can’t speak to it intelligibly off the cuff. Feel free to look it up if it interests you. It doesn’t interest me, so I won’t be looking into it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/22 09:02 PM |
| 0 | If a guy says, “What more do women bring to the table than looks and pussy?” he means he loves worthless women.Disagree. For the topic of your OP, I think “loves” is the wrong verb, but that’s getting into semantics. As for your elaboration, most men think with our dicks when it comes to relationships. If it weren’t for that primal instinct, we’d be content with the company of men and probably be playing video games or some other useless endeavor. To your credit, finding an interesting woman isn’t difficult. Usually the ones who aren’t attractive have had the opportunity to do interesting things with the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/22 08:51 PM |
| 11 | Q4a what exactly is high, low and regular sex drive in you opinion?In a relationship, high is higher than yours, regular is similar to yours, low is lower than yours. In my opinion, for two working adults without kids, regular is 1-2x/wk, low is less than once every other week, high is consistently every other day and up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/22 07:59 PM |
| 23 | New study on dates shows that men paid for the majority of male-initiated dates (68%), but women or both paid only 33% of the female-initiated dates.Eh. News flash. Men pay more often than not. Men initiate sex more often than not. I mean, it’s nice to have data that confirms these suspicions, but those are western norms. It’s mainly with the younger cohort (around 28 and younger nowadays) that I’ve noticed that women make it a point to pay for something/offer to pay. What often gets discussed here is who should pay. And since that’s a very values-based philosophical kind of question, it usually results in a lively debate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/22 07:56 PM |
| 6 | Lower earning partner should propose to higher earning partnerYou’ve got a couple of different issues here. 1) Who proposes? Culturally, in the US at least, the man proposes. If marriage is something the woman wants, and the man hasn’t proposed in a timely enough fashion for her, her only recourse is to start a dialogue. Asking you to propose isn’t the must tactful way to do that, but it is broaching the topic. 2) income/assets The wealthier/higher earner stands to lose more in a divorce. Marriage is not just about the emotional/symbolic components. It is … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/22 01:27 PM |
| 6 | If you are having sex with a partner while using any forms of birth control to prevent pregnancy, you are basically masterbating with the other persons bodyJust because the procreation requires sex does not mean that the converse is true. It’s a logical fallacy. Furthermore, masturbation is generally defined/accepted as solo activity. So if you want to get into technical details with respect to diction, your argument falls short from a syntax standpoint as well. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/22 03:07 PM |
| – | Question for the fellas. Do you believe in 2nd chances in forgiving cheating? Have you forgave cheating before in the past? Are there different levels to cheating?I never believed in 2nd chances for cheating. It’s not something I forgive, but I wouldn’t really hold a grudge about it either. If someone cheats, I know that I can’t trust them. So I don’t. And if I can’t trust someone, I’m not going to waste my time/energy with them outside of general pleasantries. Put another way, cheaters can be perfectly fine in several other aspects of life. But I wouldn’t knowingly associate myself with one. The exception is if all we’re doing is casual sex. But that mig… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/22 01:43 AM |
| 3 | How true is to say that rich guys gets more dates and more relationships opportunities than the average male?I would say that your topic, as written, is true. Whether those are good opportunities, however, is debatable. Every so often I go through a slump in online dating. If it’s bad enough, I list my profession in my profiles. Then I start getting matches and a few first dates within a couple of weeks. Then I hide my profession to slow things down again. Based on this experience, however anecdotal, I’d argue that men who can project wealth/status have more opportunities than those who cannot. But I’l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/22 12:25 AM |
| 1 | Not being good-looking is a huge blessing in disguise.In some ways it is a blessing. But it’s very hard to appreciate that perspective without having lived the life of someone fortunate enough to be genetically blessed. It’s easy for me to sit here and declare that money/career isn’t as important as having a loving family of your own (since that’s what I presently lack), but I have money/career in my corner. It’s ok, but it’s my baseline. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/04/22 09:59 PM |
| 31 | What eventually happens to most of the single men on online dating?I would imagine that if you fail at it for long enough, they give up on online dating and either try to meet women in real life, exit the dating market altogether, or bitch and moan about their woes with some incel groups. I’m inclined to believe that a significant portion of them either settle for women they didn’t previously consider or are settled for by women who didn’t previously consider them. Whether they are happy with this in the long term is anybody’s guess. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/04/22 11:21 PM |
| 17 | Is "stealth wealth" a bad idea for someone who wants love?It’s not necessarily completely hiding your wealth. It’s just not using material possessions/wealth to attract women. Sure, I could wear a flashy timepiece, drive a luxury car, flaunt my career, etc. And this would attract women. But this would primarily attract gold digging types. If this is the caliber of women you desire, then flaunt all you want. For me, those women are only good for sex. And I’d be terrified of them poking holes in condoms/etc. Not worth it, in my opinion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/04/22 12:38 PM |
| 1 | Is the only reason to get married now is to procreate?Eh, there are some other reasons. Symbolic gesture of love, legal rights, healthcare/insurance beneficiary status, tax implications as married filing jointly, etc. If you’re a reasonably successful man, I think the intangible value of those factors against the potential but tangible threat to your assets/income requires careful consideration. For me, the only reason I’d consider marriage is if I wanted to start a family with her. If I don’t like her enough to want that (or if she doesn’t like me… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/22 05:47 AM |
| 10 | People of PPD. What are your strong dating opinions that you are willing to share that you are thoroughly convinced on?One of my opinions is that no party should settle. But settling can mean different things to different folks, and I do believe that the extra validation online dating has afforded women serves to overinflate their general views on what kind of man is “settling” material vs what kind of man is “realistically well matched” material. I’m convinced of this in part because of the sheer number of women’s profiles that explicitly state they won’t date anyone under 6’. Just as an overall percentage (rou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/22 05:36 AM |
| 10 | Would you date or marry a single mother or father?Either he edited his post at some point, or you need to work on your reading comprehension. What I’m reading is that he, as a single father, has no objection to dating single mothers. There’s no hypocrisy here. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/22 04:20 AM |
| 1 | Would you date or marry a single mother or father?Single man without kids. I’m currently dating with the intention to find someone I might marry/start a family with. At this point, I do not date and would therefore never marry a single mother. If, in a few years, I decide that I am no longer interested in starting a family (and by extension will not be proposing to anyone), I’ll start to consider single mothers. My reasoning is on the grounds of priorities, travel/adventuring/spontaneity, and of course, the fiscal responsibility for kids. A sin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/22 04:17 AM |
| 1 | Do women realize how little maintenance men need to be statistically faithful?Interesting thought exercise. Some issues though. More accurately, taking your stats at face value, 28% of men in relationships cheat. There is a non-negligible proportion of men who are unlikely to ever find a relationship. The 60% reporting lack of intimacy may believe they were truthful, but how was that question asked? Maybe they felt a lack of emotional intimacy. Maybe they felt that choosing lack of physical intimacy partially absolved them of their actions. Maybe they weren’t aware of dee… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/04/22 04:26 PM |
| 1 | Men who believe in RP ideologies and/or believe that men have disadvantages in the dating world, what is your relationship with your mother?I believe men are disadvantaged in the online dating world. From what I gather, many of my beliefs/values lean red pill, but I don’t buy into it. I believe in making yourself, as an individual, the most competitive dating prospect you can. If you call that red pill, I’ll point you to any one of a number of dating advice articles… I have what I believe is a fairly healthy relationship with my mother. I acknowledge that she’s not perfect, seek and consider her opinions at times, but I make my own … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/22 10:41 PM |
| 1 | Q4M who believe that women having tattoos is a “red flag” for promiscuity: do you have tattoos?I’m a man who just hates tattoos. I think they’re unsightly and frequently, though not always, trashy. I don’t think tattoos signal promiscuity. I don’t have any tattoos myself. That said, I have many friends who do have tattoos. While they’re good friends and fine people, I don’t have to look at those tattoos during sex. So they don’t bother me on friends. But my partner? Yeah, it’d bother me. It’s an aesthetic thing though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/22 10:35 PM |
| 2 | will there ever come a time again where the dating world will favor men again?Perhaps it is women avoiding marriage. But with divorce outcomes financially favoring women, I would think that a declining marriage rate would be due to male disinterest moreso than female disinterest. I would be ecstatic if I met a female breadwinner. I’d still work because I love what I do, but I’d be willing to reduce hours if it made sense on a household level. I suspect that I’m an outlier in this respect though. Dropping half time means that I’d still be around 150k, and my career still p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/22 10:24 PM |
| 1 | will there ever come a time again where the dating world will favor men again?I think we can agree to disagree on male-breadwinner desire being hardwired vs a social construct. The point raised was whether the dating dynamics will “favor men again” or something to that effect. I’m arguing that the development and adoption of affordable sex bot things for men (theoretically taking otherwise sexless men out of the market) would also take many women off the market. If you contend that 1) women are more economically productive than men today, on average, and 2) women desire h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/22 10:17 PM |
| 6 | Men are shamed for wanting women equally or less attractive than them and acting frustrated when these women act like they are out of their league, yet women act entitled to men far more attractive than them all the timeYour problem is that you’re talking about “objective physical attractiveness.” Physical attractiveness isn’t objective- it’s entirely subjective. In a world of x/10 looks scoring, there may be trends to limit people into fairly consistent ranges. However, the fact remains that enough folks will rank the same person in a different range that the x/10 scale, making it unreliable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/04/22 08:03 PM |
| 5 | will there ever come a time again where the dating world will favor men again?I don’t know that a theoretical male AI sexbot would be comparable to a deadbeat BF. There’s the expectation that a person be a functioning adult in a part of society. A sexbot thing? Not really. I also don’t know that I buy into the argument that women expect male breadwinners. Not nowadays, at least. Women have been exceeding men in college admission/graduation rates and (possibly) career progress for some time now. At some point, women will earn more than the average man. Hell, that inflectio… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/04/22 07:34 PM |
| 2 | If you want to attract a woman, you need to have income.If it were a choice of “all things being equal,” I don’t see why any rationally behaving person wouldn’t choose the higher earner. Particularly when posed with hypothetical situations like this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/04/22 07:30 PM |
| 15 | will there ever come a time again where the dating world will favor men again?News flash: sperm banks have been around for decades. I don’t think dating has ever really “favored” men. We just don’t have as much at stake as a woman because the primary consequence (childbirth) isn’t in our biology. So it stands to reason that women have historically been the choosers. It’s just that historically, women had to make a choice for financial reasons and societal pressure reasons. Nowadays, those pressures aren’t a factor anymore. Hell, I believe women have been outpacing men at … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/04/22 05:36 PM |
| 23 | will there ever come a time again where the dating world will favor men again?Dating favors the scarce. Someone has posted data about dynamics of dating on college campuses, and if memory serves, something as minimal as a 55:45 gender ratio imbalance can significantly change courtship patterns. But college campuses are a relatively homogenous population. Everyone is 18-22, shares similar schedules, lives in a small radius, etc. In the broader context of dating post college, I think the effect would still hold true, but there are other factors at play. Women leave the onli… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/04/22 03:33 PM |
| 1 | If you want to attract a woman, you need to have income.Disagree. If you want to attract a woman, be attractive. That’s what gets your foot in the door. Money is an added bonus unless all women are gold diggers. I will say that a huge part of being attractive is looks. But a smaller part of being attractive is being a functioning adult. In today’s society, functioning adults have an income. It’s not rocket science… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/22 11:38 PM |
| 0 | Women absolutely are not attracted to nice guys, and men expressing their understandable frustration with the dishonesty of them saying they do is met with shaming and attempts to silence them. This is the foundation of TRP.Disagree. For one, you need to define nice guy. There’s a nice guy who is nice and doesn’t give a shit if he gets laid. Then there’s a nice guy who is nice with the expectation that if he’s nice enough for long enough to the right woman, he’s going to get laid. The first guy is a legitimate nice guy. The second one is not. Women like the first kind but not the second. Hell, I like being friends with the first one but not the second. Secondarily (take this with a grain of salt since I don’t ident… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/22 09:54 PM |
| 1 | (Q4M) How important is it to you that a partner shaves armpits, legs, etc.?Man here. It’s important to me that she shaves her armpits and legs, but that’s just a societally ingrained beauty standard that I’ve embraced. (Ie: hairy armpits/legs turn me off) Pubic grooming I’ve dated and enjoy anything between shaved/trimmed. For my part, I do a fair amount of pubic grooming too. I don’t think it’s unfair to be attracted to someone who does about what is societally normal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/22 06:29 PM |
| 1 | How do you feel about your potential spouse/LTR pursuing a full time career for herself?I’m a man who is indifferent to whether she wants to be a SAHM or a dual income shared parenting household. I think that if she’s pursuing a degree/career while dating, all she’s really doing is hedging against the likelihood that she won’t find a man capable of supporting a SAHM and is preparing for a dual income situation. I don’t think pursuing a degree/career will make her torn between motherhood/work. I think the reality of those roles and her relative happiness in them will quickly make th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/22 06:23 PM |
| 14 | Isolation with traditional wants in feminist spacesI think feminism opened up the option for women to choose work/careers/lives outside of “traditional femininity,” and somewhere in the mix, choosing traditional femininity became taboo. As if that choice somehow prevented other women from choosing to work, etc. As a man, I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with traditional family structures. I just think that in todays society, it generally will take two incomes to achieve that standard of living. While I’m fortunate enough to earn a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/22 09:09 PM |
| 15 | Are you guys actually asking your partners N counts?Man here. Fuck no- I’d never ask her what her n count is. If I’m fucking her, what do I care? Frankly, I’d be more nervous if she didn’t have at least a few different partners by 30. I like sex. I have some kinks that I quite enjoy. I want to date a woman who’s had enough different kinds of sex with enough partners to have figured out what kind of sex she likes, so that ideally, our preferences/kinks overlap somewhat. Also, if I asked a woman for her n count, it’d only be fair that I be willing … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/04/22 05:04 AM |
| 1 | The idea that education/profession puts you in the "beta" category is hilariousI don’t think anyone here has really contended that education/profession defines alpha/beta. I think alpha/beta is a bunch of BS anyway, to be honest. Either you have and project true confidence/swag, or you don’t. As long as you’re not hideous, you’ll be ok. Some guys need to be ripped and rock 5% body fat to do that. Some people need to know they’re the richest guy in the room to do that. Some people just don’t give a shit what other people think. Maybe that’s what makes them “alpha.” For my s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/22 10:00 PM |
| 1 | when it comes to the bill, handle it proportional to incomeIf you’re in an established relationship, take turns, split the bill based on what you order, or merge finances and forget about it. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. Arguably the “fairest” way to do it is to split checks. Obviously this drives a financial wedge in a relationship. If you’re both ok with it, proceed. I think most people aren’t if they’re looking at someone for potential marriage material. Perhaps I’m fairly certain that I come at this from a place of privilege, but I don’t … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/22 05:08 PM |
| 1 | Why do a good amount of women like being degraded by men in bed?No clue. More of my partners in the past couple of yrs were into the choking, slapping, submissive stuff. I’ve been happy to oblige since I enjoy it. I don’t worry about it much. People like what they like at various times. Sex isn’t a uniform/static experience. If what you’re doing works for you, then keep doing it until you’re more interested in something else. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/22 04:57 PM |
| 2 | What’s your opinion on high n count?I don’t think it’s a big deal. Maybe if we’re into 100+, I’d have some reservations. My theory is that everyone needs to have x partners to figure out what good sex means for them. Some folks are happy with their first and only partner. Others need to try different things with different people. And interspersed in that, some folks may have phases where they lack the time/emotional bandwidth/etc for a relationship, so casual sex is all they want/can do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/22 09:36 PM |
| 12 | Would you date a widower or widow with children? Would you date someone with children if you yourself had children?Not in my mind. I think we’d both prioritize our kids over each other at some points, and prioritize each other over our kids at other points. Raising a family is a team sport, as far as I’m concerned. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/22 05:38 PM |
| 1 | Why does it seem there's many guys who do "girly activities" who get laid and many guys who do "masculine activities" who don't?How have you made said observation? As a man who does “masculine activities” while still getting laid, I can say that myself and my peers can still do reasonably well with online dating if we put in some time. The only thing that engaging in “girly activities” does is put you in more regular contact with women. Sure, I could join a knitting club or something, but I wouldn’t enjoy it. And that lack of enjoyment/happiness will translate into my persona, and be a turn off. Even if I’m surrounded by… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/22 05:36 PM |
| 26 | Would you date a widower or widow with children? Would you date someone with children if you yourself had children?Childless divorced man here. To clarify, I don’t date single mothers not because it’s a matter of stooping to some level. I don’t date them because they understandably have to put their kids first. I work a demanding enough job that I don’t want to take a backseat to their kids, etc. I also don’t date them because right now, I’m still looking for potential wife/kids material. If I date a single mother and am blown away by her, and we want to get hitched and have some more kids together, I forese… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/22 04:59 PM |
| 4 | “Lower you standard”, is the worst possible advice a person can get, when it comes to datingDebatable. If “lowering your standard” brings a person’s standards more in line with what they are capable of attracting, then it’s good advice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/22 12:50 PM |
| 5 | pumping and dumping male vs femaleWell from a strictly grammatical standpoint, generally it is the man that does the pumping. I’m just being facetious. I do see the point you’re trying to make, and the double-standard in demonizing different parties for the same behavior is a little weird. But in a world in which women are effectively the gatekeepers to sex, it makes sense to demonize the man for pumping and dumping while giving the woman a pass for the same, with the implicit assumption that she dumped him because she wouldn’t … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/22 10:23 PM |
| 1 | Q4Men: If you want a relationship with a woman, why do you want one? What do you want that relationship to look like?I want a partner with whom I might start a family. That’s a team sport as far as I’m concerned. And teams do better when their players get along with each other. Obviously the analogy fails when you think about the sexual component to a relationship, but the idea is the same. Failing wife/kids material (if it doesn’t happen for me in the next few years, I’m going to stop looking for that), I’d be content with a regular relationship. Or more likely, a series of relationships. The motivating facto… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/22 06:57 PM |
| 2 | All men have to pay for sex in one way or another. So men with the ability and willingness to pay may as well go for the youngest, most fertile, and attractive women possible.As a man of means, I would disagree to an extent. First, it depends on what I want in a woman. If I’m looking to just get my rocks off, I could just hire an escort/prostitute. Simple and efficient. And I could probably afford to do this regularly without being financially irresponsible. In that setting, I’d be looking for what I find attractive. To your credit, I generally find young women more attractive, and young women tend to be fertile. But god help me if I saw a prostitute and knocked her … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/22 05:36 PM |
| 19 | There is something wrong with RP mentality.I don’t think you’re bitching about the right group. Red pill, as I understand it, is about a handful of principles: 1) women will pick their best option (duh- though this has implications for commitment) 2) if women are prone to hop to their best options, don’t commit to them. Just stay casual and get laid 3) lift/workout (improve your body) 4) make sure you wear fitting clothes 5) don’t lose focus on your career 6) always talk to multiple women/multidate to keep the pipeline of sex flowing 3-6… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/22 05:22 PM |
| 1 | Would you rather be in a relationship with someone hot but poor, “below average” but ambitious and financially secure, or be celibate for the rest of your life?Interesting thought exercise. Assuming that their personalities are the same (ie I’d be happy with the relationship and the only variables are hotness and finances), I would personally choose someone hot. But for me, I know and accept that the odds of my meeting someone who is anywhere near as financially secure as me are very low. So if (essentially) any women I would date will be a financial drain, I might as well date someone hot. It also helps that I earn enough to not have to worry about wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/22 04:43 PM |
| 3 | Do overweight women struggle attracting men?Presumably heavier women lower their standards. When I pay to reveal my matches, the vast majority of them are heavier women. They’re probably attracted to similar distributions of men as their fit counterparts. Whether they struggle depends on what they hope to find. If they’re looking for LTR, and enough folks like me began to swipe right on them to use for brief flings, they would be struggling. I don’t swipe on them, so I haven’t had the chance to talk to a heavier woman about her dating lif… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/22 04:38 PM |
| 1 | Barney Stinson(HIMYM) and Howard Wolowitz(TBBT) are an example of how certain men are seen by women and society.Soooo… you’re trying to say that entertaining scenes from a television show depict how women collectively behave in real life? I think you’ve been binging too much and need to get a reality check. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/22 08:05 PM |
| 3 | Q4All: At a certain age is it true that people stop trying to improve/become attractive to the opposite sex?I’m a mid-30s man. I have hope that I’ll meet someone worth remarrying/starting a family with, so I’m still trying. And if I fail to find that by 40, I have hope that my libido will still be strong enough that I’d want to pursue women for casual dating or relationships that are not marriage-minded. When I turn 60 (or some arbitrary age where my libido finally settles down), if I’m alone, I won’t care about attracting women for anything other than perhaps friendship. And that’s just so that I can… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/22 11:53 PM |
| 4 | CMV: It is nowadays Men, not Women, who are held to unrealistic body standardsDisagree. I don’t think it’s just men who are held to unrealistic body standards. I think western society imposes unrealistic body standards on everyone. However, it’s now strongly frowned upon to fat shame a woman a la body positivity. In contrast, my impression is that it’s not frowned upon to fat shame a man. If anything, pointing out that some men are obese basement dwellers playing video games all day (aka: neckbeards) is somewhat socially acceptable. The combination of these phenomena migh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/03/22 10:51 PM |
| 1 | If 90% of men died, and the 10% were average guys, would they be highly sought after?To answer your question: yes. I think there is a well-described phenomena where something beyond a 60:40 F:M gender ratio dramatically changes dating patterns on college campuses. If men are outnumbered, it’s a hookup culture. If women are outnumbered, it’s a monogamous relationship culture. Whether that behavior can be extrapolated beyond college years, when considerations like starting a family and getting on your feet come into play, is debatable though. I would suspect that even with those v… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/22 12:35 PM |
| 1 | If you could flip a switch and randomise your appearance would you do it?Nope. I’ve got plenty to complain about with respect to my appearance. I’m short. I’m a minority. I’m not ripped (or cut, for that matter) despite lifting. But I’m in decent shape otherwise. If I could add several inches at some modest expense, I would. If I could change my ethnicity at some modest expense, I’d do that too. If I could be more muscular at modest expense, you guessed it, I’d do that. But to leave my collective looks to randomization? I wouldn’t roll the dice unless I were absolute… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/22 07:44 PM |
| 15 | Q4Men: Would you go out of your way to talk to a woman you had no sexual attraction towards?Go out of my way to talk to a woman person? No. But I recognize that being social and having conversations with people is a skill, and yes, I’ll exchange pleasantries when socially acceptable and if the mood strikes and it’s appropriate, I’ll chat someone up a bit. But it’s not something I do on a regular basis. As it is, I talk to new people almost every day at work. So it’s nice to chat with a stranger about something other than their health. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/22 06:03 PM |
| 1 | Social awkwardness and lack of fitness are the reason for lack of interest women have in men todayI don’t disagree with the notion that the average American man should exercise more and be more social. But I would add that the average American woman should do the same things. For one, I vaguely recall that recent stats show that the female obesity rate has surpassed the male obesity rate. Secondarily, there are plenty of women who seem to be incapable of going on a normal date and being present for a conversation. I’ve passed on at least a few in the last year - they can’t seem to put their … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/22 05:49 PM |
| 2 | How long do you see yourself invested in a purple pill debate?I’ve been here on/off for a year-ish. If I’m happily in a solid relationship, I cut out frivolous activities like Reddit. So basically I’ll be around as long as I’m dating. Probably. Maybe I’ll find a more interesting sub at some point. But for now, I still find dating dynamics/philosophies fairly intriguing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/22 05:27 PM |
| 2 | Q4All. Do you really believe there's a link between women having casual sex and societal decline?With the mass adoption of social media, it’s conceivable that folks today are hypersensitive to judgement and shame. You could argue that the culture of “all the cool people” makes people individually strive for that (perfect partner/relationship/career/skills/etc), but when they can’t achieve it, they fill the void in their lives with what they can readily accomplish and keep private. And for those folks who can’t find what they want in a partner, maybe casual sex is the symptom. Of course, thi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/22 05:33 AM |
| 5 | TRP and most TRPers are fairly traditional. They are only non-traditional with respect to women, because of the actions of women.Would agree. I don’t think TRP, BP, FDS, MGTOW, or DX35ABC are intended to be politically aligned in any way. Certainly what lurking I’ve done in those subs didn’t inform me of a politically-charged position. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/22 12:56 PM |
| 1 | What sports or hobbies that a potential relationship partner might have attract you the most?Cooking ranks high on my list as well, simply because some of my most enjoyable moments of married life were cooking together with my ex. As for other hobbies, reading about and wanting to explore other cultures (ie: travel). And I mean travel in the sense of really exploring a new country/language/etc. Not a “let’s go to Paris, stay at the Ritz, tour the Louvre for an afternoon, take a photo by the Eiffel Tower, eat burgers/fries, buy some designer crap, and call that a culturally rich vacation… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/22 10:52 PM |
| 1 | The red pill essentially teaches that men aren't capable of love?I don’t think TRP teaches that men are incapable of love, but I also don’t identify with TRP. I think your understanding of TRP’s characterization of observable dating phenomena is accurate. But it is my understanding that TRP arose out of men’s frustration with the popularized notion that “if you are a nice guy with a good career, you can be yourself, and love (and sex) will fall into your lap.” That narrative appears to fail many men, particularly with the rise of online dating apps. Instead, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/22 10:41 PM |
| 1 | Why do men want sons if they're concerned with passing their genes on?If I were obsessed with passing my genes on (I’m not), my only responsibility is to have offspring. I’m not going to ejaculate my theoretical son into some fertile woman, nor am I going to find someone to inseminate my theoretical daughter. And beyond that, if I have daughters, as long as they have kids, my “bloodline” will continue. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/03/22 01:31 AM |
| 1 | Q4M: how far are you willing to travel to meet a girl for a first date?I once drove 2.5hrs for a first date. Somehow I matched with a woman who lived 5hrs away, and there’s a major city almost halfway between us. She was pretty chatty by text and we had a few phone calls, so I figured I’d make a day trip out of it. (I have some friends in said city) The date itself was pleasant, but there wasn’t any chemistry despite all the phone calls/texting beforehand. I would not do this again unless I were planning to go to a destination anyway. In practice nowadays, I might … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/22 05:35 AM |
| – | How about instead of marriage people just start putting there S.O in their will? Because the marriage thing seems no to work on average.Wills can be changed far more easily than a marriage can be dissolved. Wills also don’t confer automatic/presumed beneficiary status to insurance policies, power of attorney, etc. While it’s possible to do all of those things manually, it’s a huge pain in the ass. Besides, people seem to like getting married/marriage. It’s like a milestone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/22 10:26 PM |
| 6 | Why do men want sons if they're concerned with passing their genes on?I want theoretical daughters, so not sure why you’re posing this question to me. But in this theoretical situation, it would suck for him. I would hope that my theoretical daughter in law would die in a fire. In any case, this would be my theoretical son’s problem- not mine. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/22 10:12 PM |
| 11 | Why do men want sons if they're concerned with passing their genes on?I actually would prefer to have daughters. More likely to do well in school, more likely to not do dangerous/stupid shit, more likely to go to college, not able to get drafted for potential wars, cheaper to insure as drivers, etc. The only liability is that I’d be on the hook for a couple of fairly expensive weddings. But I earn money in part to spend it, so I’m okay with that. And to your credit, genetics get passed on in kids regardless of their sex. In a fucked up way, I do harbor some self h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/22 06:29 PM |
| 2 | Would you mind getting cuckold if it meant you could have a hot wife and hot daughters?Weird thought exercise, but I’ll bite. If I had a hot wife that I’d have regular sex with and biological children with, provided we had an open relationship in which I could freely leverage finances in my extramarital pursuits, I could be on board. This is assuming that she is otherwise trustworthy, cultured, and hits damn near every one of my wishlist criteria. And also assuming that the extramarital stuff was limited to sex and not emotions. If you’re talking about an actual cuckold situation … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/22 06:00 PM |
| 23 | "Visceral" attraction is not necessary for a good LTRDisagree. Visceral attraction is that basic in-your-gut attraction. That mild attraction you describe is visceral. It’s just not as strong as “Chad-level” visceral. But it’s there, and the other qualities of a man/the relationship are what we believe can amplify that visceral attraction. I think it’s more along the lines of us (men) wanting the woman we’re dating to see us as her chad. If I’m happily in a relationship, my attraction is really reserved for my partner. I can look at another attrac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/22 01:57 PM |
| 3 | A lot of guys here mistake chubby women for being unattractive and being in the same league as chubby men.Generally, chunky/fat is unattractive. Period. Doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a woman. Sure, there are exceptions. But in general, fat just isn’t a good look. And it’s terrible for health. And hygiene…. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/22 12:40 AM |
| 10 | Quantity for men, quality for womenDisagree slightly. For men, it’s about quantity above a quality threshold. Or at least it is for me. I’m a relatively fit man. Hooking up with an obese woman or an older single mother isn’t too challenging. I’ve done both over the years. But enjoying myself with the former and breaking things off with the latter were unpleasant experiences. If I could take back those experiences, in total, I would. Those are notches I don’t care to remember. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/22 12:37 AM |
| 1 | If prostitution became legalized and normalized, how do you think that would affect relationships among cis gendered straight couples?1) I doubt guys will be significantly less thirsty. Prostitutes still cost money. And I would expect them to cost more than dating, which can be as cheap as free. Most folks will pursue the cheapest option. That’s why mom & pop shops have fallen victim to big box stores. 2) I think some men would stop looking for relationships. Realistically, those are men who a) have the disposable income to see prostitutes regularly, b) see prostitute sex as an equivalent substitute with sexual relationships, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/22 10:17 PM |
| 0 | Q4All - What does everyone thing about the Harry Met Sally-esque “men and women can’t be friends”?I think it’s sufficiently challenging to be friends if there’s attraction that for most people, it’s not possible. If both parties aren’t attracted to each other, sure, a pure friendship is possible. At least this is true for me. Unless I’m truly unique, I would expect most other men to feel similarly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/22 06:25 PM |
| 1 | How do you think advanced Sex dolls will affect relationships?Realistically, only the folks who can’t find satisfying relationships but have the disposable income to buy one will. It won’t change dating dynamics since the likely buyers are already invisible. Or maybe everyone will buy them, and mankind will die out. Who knows? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/22 07:15 AM |
| 1 | The Usage of Stats and Percentages on This Sub Needs Improvement to Make Discussions ProductiveWell let’s be honest, people who are successfully (however they define successfully) dating aren’t going to be on this sub. We’re all rejects in one way or another. Our distribution of any measurable (and likely any unmeasurable) stat is unlikely to follow a normal distribution. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/22 03:31 PM |
| 6 | What do you think the rule should be for who pays on the first date?I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so I think that generally, the man should ask the woman out, and the man should pay. That said, I’ve always been in a position to pay for first dates without breaking the bank. Ie: even when I was the “broke” college kid, income earned during my summers off was my “fun money” for the year. Now, well, I earn a relatively healthy salary. If I’m honest, I’m not sure if I would feel the same way if I were grinding it out making 30-50k/yr or whatever my age-matched aver… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/22 03:23 AM |
| 1 | To the single people, what's your ideal partner and why?Single/divorced mid-30s man. My search criteria: no single mothers age <32ish nonsmokers only not fat/obese (I’m probably 5-10lbs over my ideal weight myself, for reference) This basic stuff allows me to get enough matches that my dating life is “busy enough” for me. Things I could add on for an “ideal partner” “into” me highly educated with a good undergrad pedigree (so that potential kids would have another solid legacy safety) a couple inches shorter than me (mainly for some sexual stuff I li… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/22 07:32 PM |
| 23 | Just because you look like a good "match" to others, or are "equal" on paper, does not mean you "should" be with somebodySomeone posted here about a matchmaker arguing that people looking for “the spark” was the bane of her existence and a failing starting point for long lasting relationships. Someone else can dig that link up. My argument would be that if you continually look at top tier/unrealistic people, you begin to normalize that “look” to the detriment of reality. Kind of the same way how people who problematically watch porn then begin to expect porn star bodies and porn star sex as the norm. Sure, there’s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/22 07:02 PM |
| 1 | If women should lower their standards to be with the average man....why, and what does the average man have to offer?Unless there’s a significant group of women lamenting never matching with anyone despite right swiping a reasonable percentage of profiles, those men have already made themselves available to match “their weight.” I haven’t seen many women report an inability to simply match with a man though. This is why I’m inclined to believe the phenomena I describe above. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/03/22 04:46 PM |
| 3 | What is the wall?I would imagine that I’m not particularly unique in my age cutoffs. So if enough men gravitate to a similar age cutoff, from a woman’s standpoint, exceeding those cutoffs would shrink their dating pools. The female experience of being overwhelmed by an abundance of (potentially) good choices might become a dearth of less than good choices. A phenomena like this could be reasonably described as a “wall” of sorts. Again, I’m also not fully clear on what this wall is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/03/22 01:36 AM |
| 1 | What is the wall?I’m not quite sure what the wall is supposed to be either. For reference, I’m a pretty fit and professionally successful guy. But I’m a short minority. Overall I do well enough with the apps to keep my social calendar busy, but finding a good fit is still challenging. But as a man looking for potential wife material, I set an age filter at <= 32. If I’m just looking for something casual, I might raise it to 45, but I could probably just keep it to <= 40. So one could argue that there’s a wall fo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/03/22 01:02 AM |
| 1 | Online Dating observations: Tinder’s Algorithm is broken and optimizes for Dark Triad Traits (Narcissism, Machiavellianism, Psychopathy)You assume that it is Tinder’s goal to create lasting and equitable matches. It’s not. Its goal is to keep as many people mesmerized and active on the platform for as long as possible, and to furthermore incentivize them to buy premium services for as long as possible. You can certainly use the apps (as I do) to try to find that. But you’re kidding yourself if you think that those apps benefit from successful matchups. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/03/22 12:02 AM |
| 3 | Why would you expect women to be attracted to guys who do the easiest thing, live the path of least resistance?Counterpoint: why should a man who already does those things be motivated to continue when the women he sees are… well, basically as you describe? (Aside from the obvious: be awesome for yourself, of course) I’m in a smarmy mood lately. Been catfished the last two weekends, and I’m finding myself left swiping on like 90% of the profiles lately. It’s like the singles scene dried up in the last couple of weeks. Yeesh. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/22 11:46 PM |
| 5 | (speculation) The sexual marketplace will organically reach balance through cultural evolutionOr it could just balance out with evolution. If the men who can’t compete for women during their child-bearing years, then their lineages end. And the ones who were hot enough (or insert-whatever-trait-you-want enough) to knock them up will have their traits propagated in the collective gene pool. Maybe it’ll take 5-10 generations of some pretty aggressive selective pressure, but if modern society continues to value similar traits, things ought to even out. This works if you assume that this pro… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/22 11:37 PM |
| – | If women should lower their standards to be with the average man....why, and what does the average man have to offer?I insist that I personally don’t want to be settled for. If I’m understanding your response correctly, I would only partially agree that a woman “giving up” on the super attractive men to “date me” would be “settling”. She might “settle” a little bit on the looks department. But as long as she’s genuinely attracted to me, she’ll get see what else I bring to the table. And when I reveal my hand, I suspect very few women will actually feel like they’re “settling.” I can only speak for myself, but … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/22 10:30 PM |
| 3 | If women should lower their standards to be with the average man....why, and what does the average man have to offer?I have a theory. It aligns with parts of TRP and parts of… well I’m not sure what- not TRP though. 1) I think online dating/social media has skewed peoples perception of what is normal/average. The most attractive/well-marketed folks get most of the attention. So they embody the “ideals” for what people want. Even though those people spend hours on fitness, lifting, dieting, makeup, etc to release a curated 5 minute video about “that awesome life” 2) the self-love “you’re great as you are” hype … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/22 06:23 AM |
| 3 | If women should lower their standards to be with the average man....why, and what does the average man have to offer?I’ve got all that stuff going on, but I find that I do reasonably well in casual dating. Sure, I’m not going on 2 first dates every weekend, but I probably average 1-2 first dates a month and a few flings/situationships a year. To your point though, I agree. As I get older, I don’t really define my value based on female validation. For one, my libido, however robust, isn’t as raging as it was when I was a teenager. So now that my big head is in control 99% of the time, I can look around and see … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/22 05:53 AM |
| 3 | If women should lower their standards to be with the average man....why, and what does the average man have to offer?The phenomena that is described is women lamenting an abundance of choice (however shitty), whereas men crying foul at the absence of choice. The only rational explanation (that I see) is that a larger subset of women are chasing after a smaller subset of men. So the men left on the sidelines bitch about the lack of options. Those men can’t realistically lower their standards- they’re already scraping the bottom of the barrel. The only viable solution is for them to work on self improvement (to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/22 05:38 AM |
| 3 | Men shouldn't have the right to criticize prositution and sex workersPlease. Sex work, by and large, is a cop out. Are there instances of abusive/predatory sex work? Absolutely. And it’s sad. But if you google a bit, you’ll find that escorts charge 3-500/hr for their labor. Compared to the average person’s earning potential in the conventional workforce, that’s easy money. Again, whether someone can handle the consequences of being a sex worker is a different matter entirely. Again, I will not accept the notion that female sex workers be given a bunch of sympathy… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/22 05:26 AM |
| 10 | If women should lower their standards to be with the average man....why, and what does the average man have to offer?I haven’t missed that bit at all. Hence, “if those women can be happy and single as the alternative, then don’t change a thing.” | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/22 05:16 AM |
| 118 | If women should lower their standards to be with the average man....why, and what does the average man have to offer?The thought process is that if a large subset of women continually pursue a small subset of men in hopes of commitment via marriage/kids/etc, it’s mathematically impossible for some women to achieve that. If those women can be happy and single as the alternative, then don’t change a thing. But if they want to bitch and moan about how the men they date won’t commit and everyone else isn’t good enough, well, the problem is that they’re not compelling enough to secure commitment from the men they c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/22 11:59 PM |
| 4 | Men shouldn't have the right to criticize prositution and sex workersWhat the hell are you on about. Anyone can criticize essentially anyone/anything, provided they are civil about it. If sex workers were a protected class, then maaaaybe people shouldn’t have complete free speech regarding them. But last I checked, sex workers aren’t a protected class. As for your “argument,” it’s a two-way street. Sex workers wouldn’t exist without male demand and female supply. If you choose to engage sex work (as a worker or a clientele), you accept the consequences. Sometimes… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/22 10:50 PM |
| 8 | Would you rather be viewed as “financially stable” or attractive?Attractive any day of the week. I’d rather be desired for who I am/the body I have today than my assets. Assets aren’t particularly unique to my person. Anyone can develop some if they live within their means and save/invest. So over time, everyone will be able to have more in the way of assets. But raw carnal attractiveness? You either have it or you don’t. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/22 07:30 PM |
| 7 | Is being alone really better than a mediocre partner?Being alone and lonely is preferable to being partnered and lonely. Sure, you can find a non-ideal partner, and that would likely be preferable to being alone. But given enough time, that non-ideal component will become more and more important, and it can cause the relationship to crumble. Most people, I would hope, try to accommodate their partners needs and compensate, however. Overall, I don’t think it’s a cop out to prefer being alone. At least for my case, if I’m seriously partnered with so… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/22 07:27 PM |
| 3 | How many people in FDS and TRP have sociopathic leanings?Have an upvote. This is not what I would have thought initially, but after reading your rationale, I’m inclined to agree. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/22 05:22 AM |
| 2 | Does sex change things?For me it would be. Because for me, I look at people as “would have sex with” and “would not have sex with.” In my mind, colleagues, nurses on my practices payroll, and patients are all on the “would not have sex with” list. I have a mental block against crossing those lines. But if I’ve had sex with someone, even if they’re in a “do not pass go” category, it’s hard to not think about what it was like and whether we’d do it again sometime. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/22 04:24 AM |
| 4 | Q4M: Should men be judged on their history too?I don’t see why we shouldn’t be judged. And we are already judged that way, to varying degrees. So whether we feel we should or shouldn’t be judged on our sexual histories is a pretty moot point. If you’re trying to court someone, they have every right to judge you based on whatever they value. Whether or not their judgments/values are truly beneficial in the long term is what people here tend to debate. Maybe I’m not too current on PPD trends, but my impression has been that men lament being ju… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/22 03:19 AM |
| 1 | Does sex change things?For me, yes, sex can and often does change things. If we’ve had sex, then at some point we were attracted enough to each other to have sex. This implies that I could happen again. So a friend or co-worker, it’d change the dynamic quite a bit. Mind you, I’ve never had sex with a girl in my friend group (my friend groups are 99% men anyway), or with a coworker. The only situation where it wouldn’t change things is if we both had decent sex but have since become mutually unattracted to each other. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/22 12:36 AM |
| 3 | What men lose in the open sexual marketplace is gained back in serious LTRIf you’re trying to make the argument that single women’s access to casual sex is negated by married women’s shitty sex lives, I would argue that this only might hold water if you assume that no married women will cheat to get their sexual needs met. That’s a big if. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/22 11:07 PM |
| 2 | Do you want your ideal girl to like your superficial aspects?Yes, I do want her to like me for my superficial aspects. I’ve done the work and am confident that everything else I bring to the table is relatively remarkable. But I don’t want to necessarily show those cards for the off chance that that’s what it takes to seduce her. Either she finds me physically attractive, or she doesn’t. Put another way, physical attraction determines whether I want to sleep with a woman. “All the things” determines whether I want to marry her too. While I acknowledge tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/22 05:30 AM |
| 10 | What do you think of "low ball" ways to meet girls?I think if you’re not hurting anyone and all parties are enthusiastically fuck yes, it’s fair game. So if you manage to do well in gay bars and college campuses, more power to you. Hitting on married women though? That’s crossing a line. Maybe you’ll be on the receiving end of infidelity one day, and you’ll be able to appreciate the suffering you’ve helped inflict on our country’s servicemen. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/22 03:07 AM |
| 2 | FDS and TRP were born and exist due to ugly people who's standards are too highFair point. My point is that if the rate limiting step of success is a), working on b/c/d while ignoring a is a fool’s errand. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/22 11:47 PM |
| 1 | What is the point or purpose of having a hook-up?It feels good? That’s all the reason one needs to pursue anything. While you cite some of the worse case scenarios, consider this. If the sex is great, and you both enjoyed each other’s company and do it again, it sounds like a swell beginning to a relationship, albeit slightly on the casual end of the spectrum. Instead of determining personality compatibility over the course of a few dates, you’ve determined sexual compatibility off the bat. It’s just a slightly different way of going about it.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/22 06:32 PM |
| 1 | Can men and women truly separate love and sex or are we both lying to ourselves?Like most things in life, there’s variability. I know I can separate love from sex. My threshold for having sex is whether I’m physically attracted to her. Admittedly, when I regularly have sex with someone (and generally get to know her better), love/feels tend to develop. But I’ve been casually seeing a woman for several months for whom I don’t ever see myself developing feelings. She’s got too many relationship dealbreakers for me to develop feelings. But we find each other attractive, the se… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/22 05:30 PM |
| 6 | FDS and TRP were born and exist due to ugly people who's standards are too highCan’t speak much for FDS since I can’t even tolerate lurking there for more than a few minutes at a time. And may not fully represent TRP, though I would argue that some of my beliefs/behaviors align closely with basic/“core” TRP. But I think “core” TRP provides a reasonable framework for a single man trying to navigate the current dating world. And in many ways, perhaps it is apt for men whose standards are too high for them at the time. But from what I understand, it encourages said men to imp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/22 04:26 PM |
| 2 | Men here are always talking about not wanting to date women with high n-counts. So what's an acceptable number?Personally I don’t put too much stock in n count. I agree that I’ve seen it come up here with some regularity. I suspect the sentiment is driven by insecurity informed by some studies citing bonding issues. I don’t know that the men here who have reasonable n counts put too much stock in it. On some level, if I contend that someone is “broken” or otherwise “undateable” because of her n-count, I have to wonder when my own n-count becomes a liability. Besides, I’m of the opinion that someone needs… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 09:08 PM |
| 12 | A liberal upbringing better prepares you to exist in the current dating environmentI agree with what you’re saying, but I disagree in your attribution of it to a “liberal upbringing.” I would argue that it’s more of an informed education regarding sex/dating as opposed to a suppression of education regarding sex/dating. You can have conservative beliefs regarding sex/marriage while learning about it and having some independence to date in adolescence. Just as you can believe that sex/dating is fun, but not for my kids until they graduate from HS/college. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 06:31 PM |
| 1 | In a society where beauty fads come and go, what beauty standards do men actually care about?I don’t think my particular sense of beautiful changed much in the past 25 yrs or so. Thin with an hourglass figure and long hair (basically shoulder length and longer). That’s really it. I’ll admit that in my teenage years, I was all about tanned brunettes. I had an iconic poster of Brooke Burke back in the day. But around college is when I began to appreciate blondes/redheads and pale vs tan. While I like the “look” of a sun-kissed tan, I also know that it takes enough sun exposure that she’d … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:30 AM |
| 1 | Question for TRP: What type of man do you consider a "Top" man or High Value Man?Not really TRP, but enough of my behavior patterns align with some RP philosophies. I think that TRP aims to empirically describe dating behaviors and then deconstruct things so as to more efficiently get laid. As in, the objective is to get laid as efficiently and as often as possible. So a TRP “high value man” is one that is able to effectively get laid at will. But since men are not a monolith, things get broken down differently. A TRP guy who is successful at hooking up with inked/pierced/au… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:18 AM |
| 1 | [Q4All] Do high value men use online dating?Sounds like a pretty low bar to clear for “high value.” I fit the bill by your criteria and those of many others. The liabilities I have are that 1) I’m shorter than average, 2) I’m not Caucasian, and arguably 3) I could stand to be more muscular (ie I lift and stay in shape, but I still look damn scrawny) And yes, men like me use online dating apps. I’m not going to hit on any nurse I work with because I’m not going to chance sexual harassment with my career. I don’t drink so I don’t bother wit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/22 06:45 PM |
| 1 | Do you have any realistic ideas on how to solve the rising male loneliness problem?This is a surprisingly depressing conversation. General loneliness can be remedied by encouraging people to nurture their friendships and forge new ones. Sexual loneliness, however, is a bit more challenging. Realistically, you can’t make people/women want something they don’t want. The old adage of “be the best man you can be” still applies. But perhaps not socializing the expectation that good men are partnered is the way to go. Certainly it’s the most empathetic approach. I would argue that t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/22 11:20 PM |
| 2 | Q4ALL What you think about no fault divorce?In that case, I think it alimony basically shouldn’t exist. I don’t care if there’s fault or no fault. Nobody is (generally) entitled to an ex’s financial resources. Of course, there are edge cases where one person works to fund (or at least partially fund) the others education. In that case, I might argue that those expenses should be paid back. But I’m sure someone could come up with a scenario where shared expenses/assets should be split. Child support, sure. But alimony? Not if I could remak… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/22 12:50 AM |
| 3 | Q4ALL What you think about no fault divorce?I think you’re confounding two things. That said, I’m not a lawyer. My understanding is that a no fault divorce just means that one party can unilaterally file and obtain a divorce without proving that there is fault to warrant a divorce. Alimony/spousal support/etc is independent of no fault or at fault divorce. And a lot of places seem to require some period of separation to proceed to divorce. With that understanding, I think no fault divorce is fine. If your partner doesn’t want to be marrie… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/22 09:42 PM |
| 0 | When it comes to dating and relationships, it's not primarily "female entitlement" that ruins the party, it's a subgroup of men, who is willing to simp for female attention.I mostly agree except that I would argue that it isn’t a small “subgroup” of men. It’s a very large and significant cohort of men. Still, your core premise, that this group of men artificially reinforces/engenders an entitlement behavior, seems plausible to me. And I do think that this is a problem. But I don’t see a solution. Desperate/thirsty men will go to lengths for some attention. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/22 05:50 AM |
| 5 | If age discrimination is okay, then why isn't height discrimination okay?I don’t think there’s a problem with height “discrimination,” but I do have issue with women filtering on half a dozen “requirements” and then lamenting that no men meet said requirements. Or lamenting that the handful of men who do meet those requirements only want them for casual sex and therefore there’s a dearth of men looking for real relationships. I “age discriminate” when it comes to marriage material. But for the initial connection (which could lead to simply casual sex), I don’t age di… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/22 05:45 AM |
| 1 | Female friends aren't useless just because they didn't have sex with TRPersI’m not TRP, so arguably not quite the same. That said, some of my opinions do align with what I believe is “core” TRP. If I’m looking at life strictly from a getting laid standpoint, befriending women from dating apps is largely a lost cause. That’s another woman who I’ll have to invest time/energy into nurturing a friendship, and she’s already signaled that she’s not into me sexually. My time/energy is better spent pursuing viable partners, or personal improvement/etc. ie: “female friends are … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/22 08:14 PM |
| 4 | Modern women are choosing the lesser of two evilsI don’t know that men advocate strongly for traditional gender roles. Certainly I don’t. I think it is generally put forth here that a woman’s “financial independence” or career (or lack thereof) do not play a significant role in her “overall attractiveness,” or total package, if you will. That doesn’t strike me as a cringeworthy position. If two identical twins were side by side and one wants to be a successful lawyer while the other wants to be a stay at home mom, they’d both be equivalent to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/22 06:58 PM |
| 1 | What do you believe is holding you back from a successful relationship?I haven’t met a decent match. Could be that my standards in this part of the country are unrealistic. Could be that all of the women I’d want to date are already coupled. (See: standards) Could be that my social outlets don’t position me around many (almost any, if I’m honest) single women of childbearing age. I’m doing reasonably well casually, but the elusive “potential wife material” still escapes me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/22 05:31 PM |
| 4 | Do men actually value relationships and families?Well put. Have an upvote. As a divorced/single (though childless) man, I will add that I care about both. And dating, particularly after 30ish, tends to be quicker paced. Most women recognize that if they want to start a family, time is not their friend. Maybe she’ll be fertile into her 40s. Maybe she only has until 32. Nobody knows. But regardless, if that’s something that she wants, and if a man is looking for a woman who wants to start a family, we’ll perceive different dating behaviors unfav… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/22 05:14 PM |
| 2 | Honestly, would you leave a 7 in looks who you loved and had other shared interests/ values with, for a 10?7? No. The difference is minor and only transient. Everyone looks like shit after 30yrs. 3-5? Maybe. But only because I consider myself a solid 5-6. Maybe a 7 on a good day. Total package is arguably more. But I’m talking strictly looks. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/22 07:15 AM |
| 3 | Do you have less respect for women you meet on dating sites compared to women you meet in person?I don’t think being seen on any dating app has any implications about being damaged, a “carousel rider”, or otherwise deficient. And I’ll add that I don’t really believe the “cock carousel” (or whatever they’re calling it nowadays) is really a thing. As for whether not being approached at the grocery store or target means anything, I don’t think it means you’re unattractive. I have never tried to flirt with a woman in those situations- maybe I’ve missed out. But for me, I go to target/etc for ve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/22 12:02 AM |
| 2 | [Q4M] Describe your ideal hoe phaseIf I’ve got a slut GF (interpreted as horny and willing to engage in threesomes and moresomes), I’d probably figure out if our life goals were compatible, and if so, I’d think about whether she’s marriage material. And I’d probably do the threesomes and moresomes with her. Basically if I had all the time and energy in the world, I’d have sex on a regular basis and try to experiment sexually. A regular basis of probably 3-5 nights/wk would be enough for me, even though I know I’m capable of more … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/22 10:12 PM |
| 1 | Do you have less respect for women you meet on dating sites compared to women you meet in person?Nope. I pretty much never meet women in person. The nurses I work with are mostly older. The ones who are younger/single are still nurses I work with. So not an option for me. My friends/hobbies end up being with a bunch of men or solo activities. So my entire dating life revolves around online dating sites. I don’t have any more or less respect for who I meet via OLD than who I might meet doing shit that I don’t do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/22 10:04 PM |
| 1 | How will TRP change dating and general culture as more people grow up knowing it?Doubtful TRP will have a big effect. Arguably most well-adjusted people meet and date in college, and oftentimes marrying shortly after graduating. It’s those who choose to divorce/breakup and re-enter dating and those who were never able to secure a LTR/marriage who are represented in the dating market. If someone was never able to date successfully, the odds are that person has some deficiencies that resulted in this. Those who date after their late 20s or so might stumble onto TRP (as I did),… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 07:39 PM |
| 1 | What is a more EFFECTIVE method for men to engage in casual sex with a variety of women OTHER than dangling the “LTR carrot” on a stick?One effective method is to lower your standards. I’ve got 100 some odd matches on tinder who I wouldn’t touch. That’s the last time I’ll pay to reveal my matches… But for the women who I do match with/date, I typically just keep things fun and light unless she needs to press the relationship issue early on. And if she does do that, I’ll engage in the conversation honestly. It could’ve been a fluke, but I’ve had one FWB emerge from that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 07:13 PM |
| 1 | Men should validate/lift up other men to combat the epidemic of loneliness and desperationCompliments from other men are a nice if they’re true, but I don’t see that doing anything other than giving me a small ego boost. If I’m lonely, only companionship will make me not lonely. But if I’m lonely and desperate, fat chance any woman is going to want to go out with me. I think that if a man is burdened by female loneliness/desperation, he has three options. 1) figure out what your weaknesses are, address them, try again. 2) accept that it sucks, keep trying, but don’t hold your breath … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 07:08 PM |
| 34 | There are 3 types of “Nice Guys”:Two types, in my opinion. The clear delineating factor is whether the “nice thing” is done with ulterior motive. 1) nice guy who does nice things thinking this will ingratiate him with women, a woman, society, his peers, etc. He wants (ultimately) to get laid/relationship, improve his status, improve his professional network, etc. 2) nice guys who just do nice things with no expectations of reciprocity. Generally, we already have what we want out of life, and have an abundance of ___ that we’re … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 06:56 PM |
| 1 | [Q4All] Whats the biggest thing you have personally learned from your online dating experience?Man here. On paper I’d seem like a remarkable catch. In practice, I struggle but get enough matches often enough that my dating life is ok. After a lot of honest introspection, I came to the conclusion that looks matter a fuck ton. And it feels like there’s a strong racial bias as well, but that’s a different matter altogether. What I’ve accomplished academically/professionally/etc don’t mean anything if my pics don’t make a woman say “yes.” At least not with current online dating apps. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/22 05:15 PM |
| 0 | Are there more undateable men than undateable women?It depends on what makes someone undateable. For me, single parents are undateable. There are more single mothers than there are single fathers by virtue of custody assignments. So by this criteria, there are more undateable women than there are undateable men. But for most “red flag” type criteria, I would say that there are more undateable men than their female analogues. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/22 10:03 PM |
| 2 | Men need to stop trying to put promiscuous women in their place. The SMP and the world already tells them exactly what their value is.While I agree that markets self correct, I don’t think it’s wrong for men here to discuss (or even just vent) about some female behavior that makes a swath of women undateable to them. Where else can someone let off some steam? I also think there’s some value in spelling things out this way. Maybe a woman new-ish to dating is looking to find a husband, and maybe she’s frustrated by men who seem to just use her for sex. Maybe such a woman might read this stuff, reflect, and rethink what she wants… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/22 10:14 PM |
| 7 | Can a gap be better bridged between the Red Pill and the other people?I think a lot of the chasm is due to the “forks” of red pill. I never really got into TRP- it was something I stumbled upon when I was trying to navigate modern day dating after my divorce. What I consider the “core” of TRP was: get in shape/lift, wear clothes that fit, stabilize your career, and talk to women. All of this with the goal of simply getting laid in the modern dating scene. The “core fork” of TRP (IMO) is stuff like believe women’s actions, not what they say; women are hypergamous a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/22 10:08 PM |
| 10 | Do men care less than women about being found attractive/desirable in sex and relationships?Work on your reading comprehension, and try again. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/22 12:00 AM |
| 14 | Do men care less than women about being found attractive/desirable in sex and relationships?To answer your question: we do care about being attractive, but whether we care more than women do is debatable. I look for a partner that is into me about the same as I’m into her. Maybe some evenings she’s more into me, and other evenings I’m more into her. My point is, I want to be physically desired. Objectified, if you will. But I’m also a man that already has the status/wealth part of the equation sorted out, so that isn’t something that I really think about actively. I just kind of live m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/01/22 09:21 PM |
| 2 | Are women really more shallow than men, or do they just get called out more for it?I don’t think anyone gets called out for anything. At least here, most folks (perhaps just me) seem to agree that women shouldn’t bother with trying to date men that they don’t find attractive. The caveat being, if their idea of what qualifies as attractive is too restrictive, no man will live up to that ideal. And this basic tenet is also held for men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/01/22 12:50 AM |
| 1 | Legalizing prostitution will destroy women's pussy power and SIMP's over nightDoubtful. Legalizing it just means that the current crop of prostitutes can operate without fear of legal repercussions. Unless a large cohort of women were interested in prostitution but deterred by the legality of it suddenly became prostitutes overnight, you’d have supply constrained “pussy”, as it were. On the other hand, I do believe that there is a significant cohort of thirsty men who would fuck prostitutes were the fear of legal repercussions removed. So I would expect prostitute demand … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/22 06:11 AM |
| 2 | CMV: I believe SOME redpill claims are negatively impacting the mental/emotional well-being of most people today.I don’t consider myself redpilled, but I did lurk in that community a bit when I was re-entering the dating scene after my divorce. What I gleaned was that red pill was emphasizing self improvement (lifting), charisma/self improvement (game), financial self improvement (career), extroversion (asking women out). There was a bit of also dressing better. All of this advice mirrors what women seem to write is important to them. And all of this arguably improves mental health. Where (as I understand … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/22 02:51 PM |
| 1 | Q4All: Do you need to get with someone else to get over an ex, or is mentally moving past them first an essential step?Sometimes it’s possible to get over someone is to have sex with someone new. Sometimes the only way is to “do the work” and mourn/grieve. There is no one size fits all answer. I would imagine you could get over a 10yr failed marriage by “getting back on the horse” if you were (unbeknownst to you) checked out of the marriage for the last 3 yrs. Just like I would imagine that someone who thought they met the love of their life would need to put in the work if things died out at the 4-6month mark. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/22 06:00 AM |
| 1 | Does it feel as if every person misrepresents themselves in some way in online dating?Definitely feels that way. I’d say about half of my dates in 2021 were with women who used photos from 5-10yrs ago and/or 25-75lbs ago. And a handful who waited until way late to admit that they were single mothers. I don’t see the point. All they got was an hr or so of cumulative text banter, one complimentary dinner, and then a ghosting. Meanwhile I’m using somewhat shitty but recent pics (none taken since I had lasik, for example). Basically if the woman I match with is reasonably attracted t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/22 06:30 AM |
| 1 | What is a “physical type” and why is it so important to some.A type is just a collection of attributes that (at least for a guy) tend to stir his loins. At least for most men, we become acutely aware of what gets us going from probably a year or two before puberty. Since that age, we’re subconsciously checking out every girl/woman we see. And it doesn’t take long to pick up on some patterns. Because if you find that you’re drawn to brunettes, you start to ignore blondes unless there’s nobody else to check out, etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/22 06:23 AM |
| 1 | Will marriage die out entirely once Woman start to out earn men?1) I don’t think women are on track to out earn men. If they were, the whole gender pay gap wouldn’t be a thing. 2) marriage won’t die entirely. Ever. There’s a whole cohort of religious folks who are all about marriage. That said, a lot of their marriages end in divorce. Whether they re-marry is more debatable. But the social inertia for first time marriage is undeniable. 3) if women do out earn men and divorces actually started to award men alimony with any regularity, I bet they’d start utili… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/22 06:07 AM |
| 4 | Why do people care about male virginity?Meh. Debatable whether this is a problem. Humanity hasn’t had a selective pressure to evolve since… arguably slavery. Maybe thinning out the gene pool might improve things. Who knows. I’m a little delirious. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/22 08:41 AM |
| – | Size queens are on the dumb and extremely shallow sideWhat the hell does it matter? If she’s a hot size queen and you’re hung like a horse, have at it. Maybe she’s a dumb, shallow size queen. Maybe she’s an intelligent empathetic size queen. Or more likely, she’s within a standard deviation of average intelligence, and within a standard deviation of normal shallowness. Just a size queen. Although I will say that a handful of times I’ve seen women broadcast size requirements, I did notice they were fatter women. So someone else’s point that they’d n… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/22 03:20 AM |
| 6 | Why do people care about male virginity?I think male virgins care because they don’t want to be virgins anymore, and it feels bad. Theoretically, part of me wonders whether there’s a breaking point for societal stability and male virginity. Like if there’s enough unhappiness and anger in a population (driven by lack of sex, wealth, food, whatever), surely there should be a point at which that cohort will start causing civil disobedience. Initially I’d imagine it would be quelled by law enforcement. But over time, there might be a move… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/22 10:35 PM |
| 3 | What is the point of making it personal when debating larger issues like sex and gender?Probably a little like bullying. Discredit the poster to invalidate their point. Marginalize the poster to invalidate their experience. Etc. But the fact remains that when we’re debating things that we all experience, it’s easy (and perhaps logical) to draw from that experience to provide anecdotal evidence to support our views. Personally I don’t get too caught up in the personal attacks. I’ve yet to feel “attacked” in a way that was remotely logical. If I did, I’d like to believe that I’m matu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/22 10:31 PM |
| 4 | As a man, is rejection just frustrating OR a bit deeper than that, more existential, when the subject of your love and adoration chooses another man over youJust a little frustrating, IMO. 1) I don’t love/adore any woman I’m seeing. That doesn’t happen until at least a few months into a relationship 2) my rejections are early on- think dates 1-3. I may have set my best foot forward, but I’ve also tried to conceal things like my income, family wealth, etc. I’m thrilled she didn’t pass muster and become a potential threat to that. 3) I figure she’s multidating, so I am too. Half the time I’ve got another conversation that I’m ready to advance to a fir… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/22 01:17 PM |
| 2 | Some men perceive the word independent, as a threatCan’t speak for other men on here, but I have definitely commented that I don’t care what a woman earns as long as she can responsibly live within her means. I don’t care because I earn ~300k. So it’s nice if she pulls in 150k, but until she’s at least north of 200k (and serious about splitting bills), I’m still going to be the one footing the bill most if not all of the time. So why should I care what she earns? And in practice, I doubt I’ve dated a woman who clears 100k. So at least for me, th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/22 07:58 AM |
| 4 | Men should stop spending so much time online if they don't want to be lonelyIf it’s a confidence thing, maybe. But I really suspect that all the whining about strong jawlines is coming from a chorus of fat people. Everyone has a goddamn mandible. It’s anatomy. If you want a defined jawline, drop your body fat percentage. Viola. Defined jawline. Sure, there are some folks with anatomy that doesn’t look great even at healthy weight. But I suspect that those folks are rare. Like <5% rare. So if you’ve still got a wonky jawline at 10% body fat, you’ve got a stable career/fr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/22 05:48 AM |
| 26 | Would you date a single mom? Why or why not?Hard pass. 1) 90% of the time, single mothers’ dating profiles include something to the effect of “my kids come first.” Of course they should. But you just told a guy that he can never be first. As a single guy with a demanding career, I don’t want to deal with that. 2) kids complicate things. Babysitter cancellations, baby daddy late to pick them up/drop them off, got into a fight at school, sick, etc. Any one of these things can throw off a date. Why would I want to plan a date only to have a … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/22 02:19 AM |
| 26 | Men should stop spending so much time online if they don't want to be lonelyI think part of this phenomena (at least in my experience) is informed by men who leave the “bubble” of college dating and now have to balance a career, +/- a new city, and no well-defined social outlet. When I got divorced, I moved halfway across the country to a city where I knew nobody. Not even anyone from undergrad. Trying to will yourself out of that is difficult. I did, and I’m better for it, but I could see how someone who wasn’t blessed with my metabolism and career track would spiral o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/22 02:06 AM |
| 1 | If it doesn’t make sense for a man with a certain amount of income/resources to be in a monogamous relationship, then it doesn’t make sense for a woman with a certain amount of income/resources as wellNot totally disagreeing here. With American divorce customs, the party with more financial resources stands to lose more in a divorce. Historically, it’s the man who brings those resources to bear. If you can readily find someone with comparable resources, then that mitigates some of this risk. But the fact remains that for some of us, our income/wealth/etc is a couple standard deviations or so above the mean. So realistically, it’s unlikely we’ll be able to readily find a wealth-matched partner… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/22 09:55 PM |
| 3 | Would prostitution be so extended if men had sex or relationships as easily as women?1) I did not indicate that I see hookers, nor do I. Your post is moot. 2) someone’s lifestyle has no bearing on their work competence until it does. If I knew my electrician saw hookers all the time, my only concern is whether he knows what he’s doing. Check the judgemental baggage at the door. 3) people who lack reading comprehension and critical thinking skills should not be allowed to participate on the internet. See what I did there? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/22 06:08 PM |
| 3 | Would prostitution be so extended if men had sex or relationships as easily as women?If men could turn on tinder, have an abundance of thirsty women foaming at the mouth to hook up with them (to the point where an average man could easily hook up with an above average woman), there wouldn’t really be much demand for prostitution. This is assuming that it’s relatively easy to successfully hook up. Will it still exist? Sure. Perhaps for the very hottest women. Because if I’m in the mood for a xyz hookup and am too lazy to sift through my matches, it might make more sense for me to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/01/22 10:46 PM |
| 1 | in order to form a healthy, long term relationship, you have to put "all your eggs into one basket".It’s not broken or childish at all. If, for example, I know that on the average I get 1 match a week and half the time that match goes on to a conversation, and half of the time that conversation results in a date- then it takes a month between first dates. Meanwhile, it might take 3 dates before we have sex. If you want to taper off conversations to see one date through, go for it. But a rational man (who brings enough to the table to match semi-regularly, but isn’t hot enough to match frequent… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/22 11:22 PM |
| – | Families aren't automatically better if husbands and wives stay together. Red pill philosophers who believe wives should always 'work it out' with their husbands are wrong.While I don’t identify as TRP, I don’t date single mothers. It’s easy to think that I don’t date single mothers because they’ve “chosen poorly,” but I don’t date single mothers because I don’t want to come “after her kids.” I have a busy enough career that I don’t want to deal with the scheduling conflicts that dating a single mother entails. And if I wanted to date someone seriously/start a family together, I know that I will not treat “her” kids the same as I would “our” kids. So my way of mit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/22 11:14 PM |
| 5 | Prostitution Is A Good Start For Correcting The Dating MarketWhile it wouldn’t do much for my ego or satisfy the “thrill of the hunt” I get out of dating, I don’t think that legalizing prostitution would really help the average guy. There aren’t a lot of us who could afford to regularly see prostitutes. I can afford it, but I already do ok from a sex standpoint on dating apps. So it’s not like I would stop competing with other guys. At best, I’d feel more comfortable taking the easy way out of breaking a dry spell. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/22 09:53 PM |
| 2 | Feminism isn't helping women overcome the need for a providerDisagree. I think feminism has helped women overcome the need for a provider, but not the want for a provider. By your own observation, career women aren’t finding men that “measure up,” and they’re staying single. The previous need is no longer a need. But the want - that’s a different story. And a different argument. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/22 04:13 AM |
| 1 | Why do women intentionally sexualise themselves at the gym? Do the men feel uncomfortable as a result?Doesn’t bother me. If she’s cute, I’ll check her out between sets. I don’t let my eyes linger anywhere for too long though. It’d quickly fuck up my rest intervals/prolong my workouts. I treat the gym like I treat shopping: get in, get done, get out. Working out is just more enjoyable than shopping. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/22 03:23 AM |
| 5 | What kinks are a dealbreaker for you?Basically this, plus water sports and needle play. I’m not personally into being submissive, that growling shit, DDlg, masochism, etc. But if she’s awesome and indulges some of my kinks, I’ll indulge hers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/22 02:01 AM |
| 4 | Why is ghosting so maligned?Agreed. Although if I’m honest, I probably ghost 80-90% of the time as opposed to clearly giving those women closure. There’s no great way to say “sorry, I was interested in the woman depicted in your pics, not that woman+50lbs” | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/22 11:36 PM |
| 9 | Men are not intimidated by intelligent women, this is simply not where our priorities areI think you should bear in mind that PPD isn’t full of incels/RP men. At least it’s not supposed to be. I am fairly open about my thoughts here, and I don’t mind if someone is intelligent and disagrees with me. But the fact remains that when I’m evaluating potential partners, either I find her attractive, or I don’t. No amount of intelligence, education, etc will attract me to an unfortunately unattractive woman. I’m biased, but I personally find that liberal values tend to track with intelligen… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/22 11:19 PM |
| 2 | Men, what are you looking for in women?Body type: generally fit/not fat - same as me Skills: enjoys cooking (I like cooking together) Other stuff: no cheaters, age<32, no kids but wants them, bedroom/sexual compatibility, lives within her means, nonsmoker, no addiction issues, likes dogs Bonus points: good alma mater, fulfilling career, family wealth (at least enough that my family’s socioeconomic status isn’t an issue) Stuff I don’t care about: n-count, being docile, her income, baking (many women seem proud to be into baking for so… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/22 09:18 PM |
| 1 | At what number of sexual partners would you consider somebody ‘promiscuous’?Agree that I’d consider promiscuity more on the grounds of behavior patterns than anything else. But to OP’s question of a specific number, 15+ by 22, 30+ by 30, 50+ by 40 would be my gut guesstimate. All this indicates is that she gets bored of partners, can’t maintain a partner, or still hasn’t figured out what she wants in a partner. There’s probably other possibilities that escape me, but none of those scenarios makes a woman particularly appealing to pursue. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/22 06:57 PM |
| 1 | Can I ask about your dating life so far? What's your goal and have you been successful achieving it?My goal for dating is to find wife material, but I’ll settle for something casual along the way. I’ve been half successful in that I have had an ongoing casual FWB kind of thing for a while now, but haven’t quite found anyone with wife potential. As a result, I’m somewhat content. Some of my single friends are happily manwhoring it up, others are struggling, and others are in between. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/22 06:51 PM |
| 3 | Q4M: Would you rather have “closure” or be ghosted by a date?I prefer closure. Makes it easier to move on. I’ve had a couple of sizzling flings that abruptly ghosted, and those still sting a bit. I’d have been totally ok with a “hey I just needed to get some things out of my system and had fun but don’t see a future with you long term.” Ideally a rejection is accompanied by actionable feedback, but that’s exceedingly rare. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/22 06:47 PM |
| 1 | "Women have unrealistic standards" - What makes them unrealistic?1) I’m matching and dating just fine, though the cold weather has definitely slowed down my match rate 2) that only holds true for a given area. I’m in a part of the Midwest with an unusually high concentration of single mothers, which shrinks my dating pool. If dating were truly unbearable for me, I’d just find another job in a better city, and deal with the higher cost of living. 3) we can argue about whose standards are unrealistic. If men can’t get any matches, yes, that’s unrealistic. But i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/22 11:10 PM |
| 3 | why are some men relatively nice when you know them platonically but act like complete douchebags after you reject their advances ?We’re extra nice when we’re trying to make an impression on women we like. If she doesn’t reciprocate, we’d revert to our normal selves. For some of us, we’re still nice. For others, we’re assholes. Maybe this guy is in the latter group. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/22 06:35 PM |
| 7 | "Women have unrealistic standards" - What makes them unrealistic?Debatable. I think a lot of men, myself included, have reduced our initial swipe preferences to the bare minimum. If I have to consider single mothers, smokers, obese women, older women, etc- I’d rather be single. But conceptually, I (and others) view myself as “enough” of a catch that I expect that a comparable woman exists and is passing over my profile. If she meets a “better” man and hits it off, great. But if she’s strung along (believed to be fairly common, though I’m unaware of the data),… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/22 06:33 PM |
| 0 | How can women expect men to treat them well and respect their well-being when they post shit like this?A touch cruel, I’ll admit. But if you’re not a tall guy (I am not), these women won’t be in your life. Ever. So why bother worrying about whether any of them deserve respect? Or more to the point, why bother worrying about all of these strangers? There are plenty of shitty people in the world. Just don’t interact with them. If nobody is interacting with you, well, maybe you’re the shitty person. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/22 06:27 PM |
| 1 | would you rather date...Perfect wife material, in my opinion, isn’t a dead bedroom. So B is a non-starter. Besides, OP’s question is for dating. Woman A all the way. Wrap it up while looking for a woman that’s got a nice blend of A and B. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/22 06:15 PM |
| 1 | CMV: A major reason women are more attractive than men is because it’s not socially acceptable for men to work on their looksOn what planet do you live that you believe it’s unacceptable for men to work on their looks? Practically the entire gym/fitness industry is for men working on their looks. Buying clothes that fit, keeping a decent hairstyle, etc is all applauded- especially when done in the name of chasing women. Doing it for yourself, as a man, might be a little vain. But it’s not shamed or otherwise unacceptable in any way. In my experience, of course. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/12/21 06:12 PM |
| 2 | Q4M: What is better to you, being given a chance or not wasting your time?Honestly, it depends. When I’m struggling to keep stories straight between multiple conversations, I would prefer to only meet those who are already fairly excited about me. If it’s been a long enough dry spell, I’d rather meet someone who’s lukewarm on the off chance there is chemistry- it’s fun meeting new people anyway. For what I think you’re trying to express, I would suggest thinking more critically about your must-haves and dealbreakers, and sticking with 2-3 of each as hard requirements.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/12/21 05:44 PM |
| 4 | [Q4M] Why do manosphere men have such an aversion to being a stepfather?I wouldn’t necessarily identify as a manosphere man to be fair. But my aversion is that they’re not “my” kids, or even “our” kids. They’re “her” kids, “his” kids, and “their” kids. Separately, if I have kids with a woman who has kids from another father, I know I won’t be able to look at the two sets of kids the same, treat them the same, etc. I’ll pay for any higher Ed expenses for “my/our” kids without batting an eye. I might pay for “her/his” kids, but not without screaming inside for it. And… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/12/21 09:46 PM |
| 5 | If availability/practicality/social stigma is no obstacle, do men prefer virgins/chaste women for marriage? What proportion?If there were such a thing as a “chaste virgin” who would be awesomely slutty/kinky with me in the bedroom, I might say that would be ideal. Not because I care about n-count. But because there’s something a little hot about being someone’s first and only. In practice, I prefer someone who has had enough sex that she knows what she likes, and is at least comfortable with exploring some of the kinks I have. I want someone with a robust sex drive. Those traits are simply incompatible with the reali… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/12/21 05:45 PM |
| 6 | The rise in obesity and decline of testosterone is a good thing for menCame here to post something similar. Agreed. If memory serves, I understand that the obesity epidemic is now majority female. Western society needs to stop embracing fatness. Ideally. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/12/21 04:53 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: How would you alter this dating advice for women?I think I’d clarify two points but leave it otherwise intact. I think women should date everyone with the intention of figuring out what they want/need in a partner. And I wouldn’t be as absolute in defining what the optimal “settle down” partner should be like. Because everyone is different: different values and different preferences mean that different types of people will be optimal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/12/21 04:43 PM |
| 1 | The biggest turn on for adult women is a guy that has plenty of things going in in his life.I agree to a point. Having other interests and showing the drive to pursue those interests is important and attractive. However, I think it’s very important to acknowledge that interacting with women regularly is critical. If all of your interesting hobbies are solitary, or put you in the company of primarily other men, your interesting life doesn’t facilitate meeting women. My hobbies are all solitary, and I wouldn’t hit on women at work (not going to risk sexual harassment), so for someone lik… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/12/21 12:45 AM |
| 3 | The factors of Women & men’s valueSoooo basically looks and some stuff for women, looks and some more stuff for men. What a revelation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/21 06:56 PM |
| 1 | What is dating like for women who aren’t above-average in physical attractiveness, but are above-average in game and personality?The proof is in the pudding- make this a question for women and see what the self described below average looks/above average personality women report. As a man, I’d hazard a guess that such women have it marginally more difficult than an average looking woman of any personality and slightly more difficult than an above average looking woman of any personality. I chalk this up to male thirst. In other words, I agree with the notion that personality doesn’t carry as much weight for women as it mi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/21 05:51 PM |
| 8 | In America, who is more free: men, or women?True. Until you can choose to be a couch potato, travel the world, or volunteer 100hrs/wk without thinking about your net worth, you’re never really “free.” | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/21 05:40 PM |
| 8 | In America, who is more free: men, or women?It’s a song lyric. Do you really think it offers profound insight into American society? Particularly when it was ostensibly authored by a woman with a top 0.1% net worth? That said, I think society favors men professionally, and favors women socially. Whether one outweighs the other is debatable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/21 05:21 PM |
| 1 | Women who claim there are no good men on dating apps or that all men want on there is sex are showing that they are low value.I don’t think that a woman lamenting at her selection being undesirable signals that she is “low value,” however you want to define that. I think it means that she is doing some combination of 1) selecting for men who truly just want sex, 2) trying to find a relationship with a man that is out of her league, and 3) fishing in a pond with relatively few “good men” She is still the common denominator in all of this. It’s up to her to figure out why she’s choosing fuck boys, why she isn’t relations… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/21 05:25 PM |
| 1 | Society is crumbling because people arent taking responsibility for their dating - PetitionSociety isn’t crumbling. Some folks might feel that their dating lives are hopeless. And they may be right. They just don’t have what it takes to find a partner in this society. Sucks to be them, but trying to change rules around to make sex more equitable to folks would only serve to prolong the presence of undesirable traits in society. Do you honesty believe limiting access to contraceptives would help incel’s sex life? The stakes would be higher. Women would only fuck the men they like and m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/21 05:17 PM |
| 6 | How low can you go.....Financially speakingI make ~300k. I have dated teachers making ~30k. I’ve haven’t dated anyone without a college degree yet, but I’m open to it. If she’s an electrician or something who lives within her means, that’s fine for me. She could work at McDonalds for all I care, as long as she can live within her means and has a decent head on her shoulders. Education doesn’t guarantee that someone is intellectually/culturally inquisitive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/21 06:59 PM |
| 0 | What are your standards in a partner?My standards are similar. For relationship/wife material: no single mothers not fat less than about 32yo inclined to want kids nonsmokers lives within her means either professionally skilled or domestically skilled libido comparable to my own sexually curious liberal tendencies Basically, my standards are similar to yours with the exception that I don’t care what she makes. If she’s got domestic skills and would make for a good SAHM, my income is more than enough. If she’s gainfully employed, gr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/12/21 08:26 PM |
| 5 | Sex And The City writer says "Dating apps killed casual sex, it was so much easier when you could meet men in the supermarket". Is she right?I don’t think there’s a concern to be raised. If there is a substantial portion of women who are “brainwashed,” nobody is going to snap them out of it except themselves. I’m not a psychiatrist/addiction medicine physician by training, but even I learned long ago that if someone doesn’t want to do something basic like quitting tobacco, nothing I say will make them change their mind. Let them live in peace. If they “wake up” 10yrs later and want to have kids they cannot biologically produce, that’… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/21 11:16 PM |
| 5 | The ultimate freedom for a man is to free himself of the notions of being a "loser" or "winner"I disagree. I think the ultimate freedom for a man is to truly feel that you are a “winner” as you are, and be content with just that. So basically, having the confidence in yourself as a man, and being happy with yourself. Not you “and your future dream girl” - just you as is. If more men nurtured that kind of self love, well, make thirst might become a thing of the past. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/21 11:04 PM |
| 8 | Sex And The City writer says "Dating apps killed casual sex, it was so much easier when you could meet men in the supermarket". Is she right?Some folks just aren’t into the conventional family dream, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Part of me does wonder if it’s a little bit of cognitive dissonance, but it’s their lives, not mine. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/21 10:57 PM |
| 4 | Why do a lot of you assume relationships when the guy has said he'd rather be casual?Not really. I go on dates with the women I casually date. If I wanted a strict fuck buddy/booty call, I’d skip that stuff. But I like to catch up about her life between dates, check out new restaurants, etc. And holding hands/etc is just a bit of public foreplay. Overall it produces something that’s sort of like a relationship, but we both remain free to date others as we please. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/21 05:48 AM |
| 9 | Sex And The City writer says "Dating apps killed casual sex, it was so much easier when you could meet men in the supermarket". Is she right?I think dating apps made casual sex abundantly easy for women to obtain, at the expense of the impromptu/spontaneous factor. And for men, well, I think it’s made it much more difficult to find for most men. I think this is a shitty situation, but that’s only because I’m a man. Were I a woman, I’d be living it up. As for her thoughts on women’s choice to be child free? Sure, I support that. I might join the ranks of the child free down the line. But at this point, I’m still leaning towards wantin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/12/21 11:53 PM |
| 2 | TRP and FDS is less about self improvement and knowing your worth and more about getting back and every man or every woman in existenceI’m sure you can find those sentiments in TRP, and it is my impression that those sentiments define FDS. However, I will say that what I took away from lurking on TRP focused a lot on self improvement. In fairness, I don’t consider myself TRP nor have I ever been TRP. But I was curious about it when I first started dating again and was struggling a bit. And my take home messages were 1) lift/build muscles, 2) buy/wear clothes that fit, and 3) talk to women. I would argue that physical fitness, w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/12/21 11:44 PM |
| 9 | Everyone talks about what makes a man low value, but what exactly makes a woman low value?Value is determined by external parties. From my standpoint, a “low value” woman (ie: not dateable) might have some of these traits: single mother fat cheater smoker reminds me of FDS uneducated older than 32 or so lives beyond her means cat lady gun lover/identifies as conservative That’s low value for relationship material. Which is very different from low value for fuck buddy material. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/12/21 11:03 PM |
| 0 | Would you be ok with a masculine physique women that is feminine?Personally? No. It’s a turn off for me. Just like the big butt fad. And this “thicc” (fat) fad. Don’t get me wrong, I like feminine personalities. But I also like knowing that I can physically overpower her and have my way with her in the bedroom. If her biceps are bigger than mine, that fantasy is shattered. In fairness, I could stand to improve from a muscle mass standpoint. But in my part of the country, women are either slim/petite or frankly obese. There’s very little in-between. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/12/21 03:43 AM |
| 4 | Isn't a bigger insult if someone who previously rejected you, still doesn't want you now that they're settling down? Compared to them settling for you?It’s not an insult at all. If she didn’t want me then, I move on. If she still doesn’t want me now, I already moved on before. If enough people think that I’m presently not dateable, I would begin to reassess my belief that I’m a catch. I think generally speaking, people think far more of themselves than they are. Which speaks to people having generally good self esteem. But also speaks to people’s incongruent expectations of life/etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/12/21 03:31 AM |
| 2 | Even if all the marriage laws were made equitable towards men, the existence of obesity makes it a bad deal for men overallThis has to be a troll post… right? Right??? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/12/21 02:26 AM |
| 1 | Can Average Men Date and Have Sex Just Like Average Women?I think if these women are so dubious as to the reality of the male online dating experience, they might find it enlightening to make profiles of an average looking man and an average looking woman, let them go live for a week, and see what happens. This is not to say that average men can’t get laid. But it’s a very different experience with very different levels of effort required. This is, of course, assuming her idea of “average” is truly average. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/21 08:55 PM |
| 4 | If you're upset about not having success on OLD, why not lower your standards?My “standards” are no single mothers, no smokers, not fat. That doesn’t strike me as a very high bar at all. That said, I’m not totally upset about complete lack of success in OLD. I do fairly well from a “getting laid” standpoint. Where I struggle is with the dearth of “wife-worthy” material in OLD. Casual FWB stuff- I’ve got that, have gotten it before, and will continue to find it. Certainly it’s not easy to find, but it’s there. But I refuse to lower my standards because I’d rather be a perp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/21 08:31 PM |
| 1 | Why do men complain about dating when they're in their 20s? Why not wait until you're in your 30s to start dating?In fairness, I didn’t date in my 20s- I was married. But if I hadn’t been, I would’ve wanted to date when I wasn’t studying for the next exam. I would’ve wanted a potential partner, but plenty of men are motivated by the desire for sex. And there’s nothing wrong with that. If their dating experience “sucks” despite doing what they are advised to do, they’re fully within their rights to complain about it. They should also reflect on how they can improve their experience for themselves. Sometimes … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/21 04:22 PM |
| 4 | Would you be willing to date someone who would not kiss you or hold your hand in public, but was affectionate with their previous partners, even if you aren't that into PDA yourself.Have an upvote. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/21 11:20 PM |
| 3 | Women are more hostile to prenups than men, revealing the true nature of the marital transactionI’d believe it as a broad generalization. But I don’t know that it necessarily has any implications as to the nature of marriage. It’s more of planning for an easy extrication plan if the marriage doesn’t work. In some ways, it suggests that you’re thinking it will fail. But for me, it’s just being a responsible man. Some women are taken aback by the notion of prenups. I had one fling (that one got away) who casually mentioned that she’d expect someone like me to demand a prenup, and understood … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/21 06:03 PM |
| 1 | Women with high standards of financial success in men do not 'only want you for your money'Most women I date don’t find out about my profession until the first or second date. I usually don’t list my job on any of my dating profiles. I’ve done so a handful of times- namely when I’ve got a long dry spell for matches. Certainly I get more matches quicker when I list my profession, but I can’t say that I’ve found anyone with long term potential that way. Probably because I select against the “provider seekers.” | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/21 05:56 PM |
| 14 | Why don’t more men become prostitutes and porn stars?My guesses: 1) prostitutes- insufficient demand 2) porn stars- most don’t have what it takes in the dick, body fat, stamina, and mental fortitude to fuck and cum at a moments notice | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/21 04:44 AM |
| 3 | Women that won't do sexual acts with you, but had done with previous partners, isn't an indicator she's not attracted to you enough to do them.Prioritizing joint comfort/happiness can involve compromise, just like you describe. My point is that it need not be an absolute and certainly shouldn’t be a vast majority of the time that one partner’s desires are shelved for those of the other. I’m not expecting to meet a perfect sexual match. You’re right- that’s likely very unrealistic unless I ignore some of my more “important” expectations. To bring it back to OP’s specific example, if a woman isn’t generally willing to do x with a man aft… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/21 03:33 AM |
| 0 | Hook Up Culture For Women Is Equivalent To Prostitution Culture For MenI give up. That was a random example I pulled out of my ass to illustrate why you haven’t made a logical case for equivalency. Enjoy your echo chamber. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/21 03:27 AM |
| 2 | Women that won't do sexual acts with you, but had done with previous partners, isn't an indicator she's not attracted to you enough to do them.What’s your point here? People can be shitty. People can decide to stay or go. We each have our preferences. I’ve acknowledged that. All I’m doing is arguing that it makes no sense for one person to prioritize another persons happiness/comfort in a reasonably healthy adult relationship. Your own examples further illustrate this point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/21 12:24 AM |
| 0 | Hook Up Culture For Women Is Equivalent To Prostitution Culture For MenOne (ostensibly) leverages looks/beauty for sex. The other is effectively a contractual/transaction involving the exchange of money for sex. And I should add: just because people dislike something doesn’t make them logically equivalent. I hate it when my dog pees inside. My dog hates it when I don’t take her out for a walk on time. But being a responsible dog-owner and being a housebroken dog are two different things. Comparable in some respects, sure. But not equivalent. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/21 12:19 AM |
| 2 | Women with high standards of financial success in men do not 'only want you for your money'If that’s how you view the world, so be it. But men like me take a hard pass on women with your mentality, for the reasons I outlined. It’s clear that you and I will not be able to reach consensus on this point, which is okay. Different people value different things differently. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/21 12:15 AM |
| 1 | Devils Advocate: Is 6 figure, 6 pack, 6 feet really to much to ask in 2021?For me personally, the age is a softer cutoff, though I can see how my wording implied a hard cutoff. It is more intended to give a relationship a reasonable amount of time to blossom should we decide to get married/start a family. I am very hesitant about fatherhood when I’m 40+ and when she’s 35+. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/21 12:13 AM |
| -1 | Hook Up Culture For Women Is Equivalent To Prostitution Culture For Men1 - I disagree that these are equivalent if she hooks up with a series of hot guys for fun, she’s just taking utilizing one of the sexual options afforded to her if he sees prostitutes, he’s also just using one of the sexual options afforded to him but the two options themselves are not inherently equivalent 2 - I agree, prostitution should be legalized. As should marijuana. Then we can tax and regulate that activity. I don’t believe in using finite resources to fight (futile) moral wars. People… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/12/21 11:25 PM |
| 9 | Women that won't do sexual acts with you, but had done with previous partners, isn't an indicator she's not attracted to you enough to do them.If I’m looking for long term commitment, her comfort should not be my #1 priority. Our comfort should be. And if my sexual pleasure (or displeasure) isn’t able to be reasonably accommodated, then we simply aren’t a match. Would you rather I suppress my desires until I develop enough resentment to leave? The point that I’ve made is that her reasons for not wanting to do xyz are valid, just as my reasons for leaving because she won’t do xyz with me are valid. And most importantly, how she delivers… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/12/21 11:12 PM |
| 3 | Women with high standards of financial success in men do not 'only want you for your money'And I’m arguing that my lifestyle is independent of my person. Put another way, people can be poor and in love. I want a partner that can be poor and remain in love with me. Besides, in these times, there’s nothing stopping a woman from being a “provider” as well. And while a woman is free to demand a relationship that would survive a dead bedroom, it’s fairly clear that for most able bodied folks, sex is a big part of being in an intimate relationship. Certainly not necessary for everyone. But … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/12/21 11:07 PM |
| 3 | Women with high standards of financial success in men do not 'only want you for your money'The argument was never that they only want us for our money. The argument is that we want women who want us for the men we are, not for the money that we earn/have. Put another way, if I’m going to stand by my partner if she gets cancer/etc, I want someone who would stand by me if I lost my job. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/12/21 06:02 PM |
| 1 | Devils Advocate: Is 6 figure, 6 pack, 6 feet really to much to ask in 2021?I do not envy that position. I suspect your acquaintance has a bit of comparison bias/FOMO by seeing the partners from which you select too. Sometimes tough love results in broken friendships. Trying to break that to someone gently is not worth it, in my opinion. Either they’re ready for honest input and seek it out, or they’d rather maintain their cognitive dissonance. That’s part of why I like this sub and the DOT sub. Most people here/there have self selected to at least being open to hearing… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/12/21 06:00 PM |
| 30 | Would it still bother you if your partner was willing to do sexual acts with exes, but wouldn't with you - but the sexual acts are ones you don't want at all?Scat is a bit extreme of an example. Anal might be a better example since it is neither common nor uncommon. Ignoring for a moment that I do enjoy anal, if in an alternate universe I did not… I might be slightly irritated, depending on how she said it. If it was a “tried it once or twice- definitely not for me,” “tried it and used to like it until I shit all over the bed and can’t get into it anymore,” sure, I probably wouldn’t be bothered. But anything that can be misconstrued as “I did it and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/21 11:37 PM |
| 2 | Is a woman who approaches men low value?Does a woman approaching make her inherently low value? No. The issue conflating this is that more often than not, the women who do chase do so for a reason. They have to. For example, I’ve been chased after by women who were far below my level. Like women who were obese to the point of being twice my weight, one who had some cognitive impairments (living at home in her late 20s and couldn’t drive, cook, do laundry, or any other basic adult task), and another who probably went to the doctor more… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/21 03:48 AM |
| 10 | Devils Advocate: Is 6 figure, 6 pack, 6 feet really to much to ask in 2021?Yes, it’s too much to expect based on raw stats alone. Others have chimed in from that standpoint. I will say that 6 figures itself isn’t necessarily living large nowadays either. There’s a big difference between 100k, 200k, 300k, 400k, and 500k. I earn close to the middle of that range, and I live in a relatively low COL city. I would live quite differently if I earned closer to 200k or 100k. I’ll be the first to admit that my self discipline is what’s holding me back from a 6 pack. But when I … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/21 03:31 AM |
| -1 | What's the best dating advice for womenInteresting point. I hadn’t thought of it this way, but yes, I do look for kindness in a woman. Can’t speak to feeling intimidated by a woman. I rarely feel that way. She’s got to be pulling 300k+, fit, intelligent, educated, cultured, and from a strong family before she “matches” me. In practice, I might match with someone far hotter than me every now and then. But she doesn’t hold a candle to me in every other metric. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/12/21 11:34 PM |
| 1 | Do you believe that only a small percentage of men are having the majority of sexual encounters with women? Does this signal polygamy incoming?If you don’t want to be convinced, you won’t be. Regardless, what you believe and what’s actually playing out in real life need not correlate. I (and others) simply offered some anecdotal evidence about the existence of “chads” as well as their experiences. Do what you will with that. For my part, I’m doing reasonably well myself, so I haven’t changed my behavior. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/12/21 10:49 PM |
| 3 | Do you believe that only a small percentage of men are having the majority of sexual encounters with women? Does this signal polygamy incoming?It might be blown out of proportion, it might not. I believe it isn’t. I’m personally averaging 1-2 different partners per year, and from some of what I read here, I should feel fortunate. Meanwhile I have a couple of friends who basically pick up new women every time we go out. They’ve shown me their app match lists- I’m talking dozens of active current conversations and 50-100 new matches a month. They sink a fuck-ton of time chasing women, but they also have an astounding amount of sex. One o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/12/21 02:53 PM |
| 13 | Do you believe that only a small percentage of men are having the majority of sexual encounters with women? Does this signal polygamy incoming?Polygamy? No, not by the conventional definition, at least. That’s already addressed by others. Do I believe a small % of men account for a disproportionate % of sexual encounters/partners? Yes. I’ve had a handful over the past couple of years, and I consider myself fortunate relative to what’s described here. I also know a couple of men who have added a few dozen notches to their bedposts over the past year. As in, a different woman most nights of a week. Sometimes different women in the same d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/11/21 05:23 PM |
| 6 | Men, is it true that if you like someone you'll make an effort to plan a nicer date than usual?Negative. Maybe when I first started dating again, I behaved this way. But it didn’t take many dates to learn that this was dumb. 1) a nicer date will almost always cost more, but has no bearing on whether there will be a second date 2) a “nicer date” will almost always involve a classier restaurant, which serves a bit slower. All this does is guarantee that I’ll blow 3hrs on the date. Those could be a pleasant 3hrs, but they could also feel like the longest 3hrs of my life. I’ve gone on enough … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/11/21 08:28 AM |
| 4 | High value men would not date a McDonald's worker just because she is hotMy anecdotal argument is just as valid as yours. And as another “high value man” (however they’re defining it), I would date a McDonalds worker if she were hot and into me. If I were truly embarrassed by her career, she could just as soon be a stay at home mom/trophy wife. But, more likely the case, I find myself simply unattracted to the styles and mannerisms of “lower” socioeconomic classes. Maybe I’m a classist asshole. But that’s the general trend that I’ve noticed, because when I swipe, I d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/11/21 08:21 AM |
| 0 | Do men really like intelligent, driven or ambitious women or do they like the idea of them?It depends on the man. But I think for most of us, hotness and genuine attraction outweigh ambition/career prospects. For me personally, I’ve yet to feel threatened by any woman I’ve dated. It’d be rare for a woman to dwarf my income/earning potential, but even if she did, my profession still confers a unique privilege. Is this fair? No. But in my experience, it’s true, so I behave accordingly. Let’s get down to brass tacks. Let’s say I gross 250k in an average year. If I met an attractive woman… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/11/21 08:12 AM |
| 1 | What's the truth on how women perceive emotional men?Well considering it’s coming from Elite Singles, which is neither abundant in singles nor elites, at least in my experience, I’d say it’s hogwash. To your general points, I would say that women seem to appreciate empathy moreso than the full range of emotions we possess. In other words, stoicism for all the bad stuff, openness for all the good stuff. Is this shitty? Yes. But it seems to work for me. Your mileage may vary. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/11/21 05:29 PM |
| 2 | “If he wanted to…he would”To answer OP’s question: like most things, it depends If I’m chatting with only one match and I’m really into her, I will hold back because neediness has never gotten me anywhere. I try to roughly match her text frequency and delay, but every now and then, I’ll escalate a bit to see if she reciprocates. And if I’m always the one driving the conversation, I start to pull back entirely because I’m not going to be someone’s obvious backup plan. If I’m chatting with 3+ matches and trying to keep tra… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/11/21 06:42 PM |
| 3 | Dating in small town medium city or big city?In my experience, bigger cities is the way to go. More people, period. The exception would be SF/SJ/Bay Area. Huge metro with a significant oversupply of men. But ultimately, live where you want. If you live and die by your dating life, you’re missing out on life. Certainly it’d suck to live in SF and be relatively celibate Vs say NYC, but there’s lots of stuff to do that’s unique to SF. If I had similar job offers in SF and NYC, didn’t care for the unusually temperate SF climate/outdoorsy activ… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/11/21 06:08 AM |
| 10 | What is so bad about Female Dating Strategy's teachings?Lol- I don’t think this is a perfect analogy, but it’s pretty close. And gave me a good chuckle. Thanks, have an upvote. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/11/21 12:49 AM |
| 2 | A man shouldn't have a problem waiting for sex ladies, if he does, it's definitely a red flag.If she’s not ready, that’s one thing. But if I’m ready and she’s not, I can choose to see how things go with her or move on. The handful of times I’ve “waited,” I ultimately learned that she just wasn’t that into me. I won’t demonize those women, but I’m also not going to waste my time with women who don’t warm up to me in what I feel is a timely fashion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/11/21 06:53 PM |
| 2 | A man shouldn't have a problem waiting for sex ladies, if he does, it's definitely a red flag.1) your “analogy” isn’t analogous 2) you can try to shame internet strangers into your worldview. Won’t be me, but keep trying 3) if the sex is absolutely terrible (maybe 2-3 times in my life), you’re right, I won’t want to see her again. However rare that may be, I don’t want waste my time/energy on that chance. So I don’t. There’s nothing wrong with how I choose to date, just as there’s nothing wrong with how OP chooses to date. But to declare one method as “correct”? That’s where I find issue… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/11/21 06:50 PM |
| 9 | A man shouldn't have a problem waiting for sex ladies, if he does, it's definitely a red flag.Hard disagree. I don’t think it’s a red flag. She’s free to make a guy wait because she thinks he has to “invest” in her. I’m free to move on because I’m not going to engage with someone who will weaponize sex like that. One of the critical (though certainly not only) factors in compatibility is sexual compatibility. I’m not going to waste my time/energy on someone only to learn that our libidos are totally mismatched, doesn’t enjoy xyz that I enjoy, etc. Sure, you can try to discuss sex topics … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/11/21 04:55 AM |
| 1 | Dating market is full of scammersWell, at some point folks learn to be comfortable with their own opinion of themselves as opposed to seeking approval from others. Some folks figure this out young, some old. Some felt that way all along, and still others may never feel comfortable in their own skin. But the moment you stop giving a damn about external shaming is the moment you can start living your life for yourself. (In my opinion, obviously) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/11/21 06:25 AM |
| 1 | Dating market is full of scammersBreaking news: many people lie to get what they want You can choose to participate in dating and hone your skills at sussing out the bad players (while ideally finding someone you truly like who similarly truly likes you), or you can choose to not participate. Like any other market, participation is optional. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/11/21 01:57 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: what is your personal happiness level, and why has there been a decline in male happiness?Probably an 8-9 here. I like my job, and it basically makes me a 1%er. Maybe 2%er. Either way, money isn’t an issue for me. Have a good friend network, though admittedly it’s all a bunch of men. Have some fulfilling hobbies. Been casually dating/seeing a FWB for a while. But I haven’t met someone I would want to settle down/start a family with. And while it’s still something I’d prefer to do, I won’t be devastated if it doesn’t happen. If I weren’t getting laid regularly, I miiight dip to a 6-7/… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/11/21 01:50 PM |
| 16 | FDS really isn't that badThis sums up my assessment as well, however cursory/biased. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/11/21 05:54 PM |
| 1 | The amount of effort men put into their female friendships is SEVERELY DISPROPORTIONATE to the amount of effort females put into their male friendshipsBasically this. At least this is what I understand orbiting to be. I have very few female friends, but I treat them the same as I treat my male friends. Text intermittently, hang out, etc. Hell if anything, they’ve given me more rides to the airport than vice versa. And we either alternate who pays for food or split a check. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/11/21 02:09 PM |
| 1 | Is it true that waiting to have sex is the better approach compared to having sex too early?I don’t think waiting is necessarily a better approach. It’s just a different one. I’m a single man with a solid career, friends, etc. But I’m no Casanova- my “game” is probably pretty weak. Even then, I won’t ask a woman out to a 4th or 5th date if we haven’t had sex by then. Simply put, I don’t want to waste the time/energy courting a woman who either doesn’t have the hots for me, or whose libido is satisfied with infrequent sex. Have I missed out on some prospects? Probably. Have I avoided ti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/11/21 08:28 PM |
| 5 | [Q4All] What types of men use Online Dating?Man here; I use online dating apps. Some may argue that I’m somewhat socially awkward. But I’m graceful enough that my patients and staff like me. (Though arguably I pay my staff..) I online date because my hobbies/passions aren’t super social. I end up doing stuff with a bunch of retired men. Could I volunteer with the humane society? Yeah probably, but I’d rather spend the time with my dog. Could I join a coed sports team? My clinic schedules and charting burden generally precludes that. Could… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/11/21 06:02 PM |
| 28 | QFW: A man going to therapy is a redflag?I would agree with that assessment. I’m biased as a man, but the time that I lurked on red pill, I took away the common theme of lift, wear clothes that fit, talk to women, repeat until you have a nice rotation of women to fuck. Those basic tenets all focus on self improvement in different ways. The time I lurked on FDS, my take home was let the guy chase you, wine and dine you, you deserve a billionaire playboy who is hot, loyal, and will wait on you hand and foot. Anyone failing to meet these … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/11/21 12:09 AM |
| 4 | There's no excuse not to workout and look your bestShort of being a new father or deeply depressed, I would agree with you. There isn’t much of an excuse. Even those working 80+hr wks find time to exercise. I did. People have to prioritize their time, and take ownership of those choices. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/11/21 12:04 AM |
| 1 | For Red Pill Men Who Believe In Relationships: What sort of women do you seek for marriage and LTR?Mainly for potential kids college aspirations. Any kids I have will have legacy status to my alma mater, but giving your future kids more “safety” options is a nice touch. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/11/21 06:18 PM |
| 1 | For Red Pill Men Who Believe In Relationships: What sort of women do you seek for marriage and LTR?I don’t personally identify with red pill, but I bet some folks here would deem me red pilled. Just as I bet some folks here would deem me blue pilled. Marriage material to me means: 1) she’s into me (and vice versa, though I find myself attracted to most fit women anyway) 2) she’s of child bearing age and wants the kids/house/dog thing 3) I trust her 4) she lives within her means/has basic shared values with me 5) she has a broad palate (dealbreaker for me personally) 6) no substance abuse/addi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/21 06:03 PM |
| 7 | Men don't have the right to sex in a relationshipI agree with your topic that men don’t have the right to sex in a relationship. But I wholly disagree with everything else you wrote to explain your position. While I’m not entitled to sex with a woman I’m dating, she’s not entitled to my continued interest in a relationship either. If the sex stops, I’m not going to keep seeing her. I wasted too much time/energy in a dead bedroom marriage to tolerate a dead bedroom again. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/11/21 02:32 PM |
| 1 | Is there any difference between a conservative woman and a gold digger?If she also wants to be (potentially) a stay-at-home-mom who is personally responsible for the upkeep of the home/dinner on the table, the man is the head of the household, etc, I think she falls more in the conservative camp. If she wants access to high fashion accessories, a pool/pool boy, maid, daycare, trophy wife lifestyle, etc, I think this is more gold digger. So which is your friend? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/21 06:55 PM |
| 4 | Question For The Men: Would you date or marry or even consider a relationship with an FDS woman?I imagine there are some women who lurk on FDS and don’t embrace it. Much like I lurked on TRP for a while and didn’t embrace it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/21 06:16 PM |
| 7 | Question For The Men: Would you date or marry or even consider a relationship with an FDS woman?If she buys into FDS philosophy, hell no. I don’t need entitled toxic femininity (if you can call it that) in my life. From what I understand, I am their target demographic from an ability to provide standpoint. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/21 06:10 PM |
| 1 | Men don't value sex with women unless they pay for itI don’t think men who see sex workers will tell them it wasn’t great. They just won’t go back to them. Kind of rude to say something like that. And if you want to discuss anecdotes, the handful of close friends I have who have discussed their escort experiences with me uniformly describe the sex as at least adequate but the overall experience as empty. So technically paying for sex can be described as good and bad, depending on how you want to look at it. From my standpoint, it’s a net negative. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/21 04:33 PM |
| 9 | Men don't value sex with women unless they pay for itYou got it backwards buddy. Unless I’m an outlier, men don’t value sex they’ve had to pay for. If I have to drop that I’m a physician to get in her pants, she’s not into me for me- she’s into the idea of a doctor. That’s a casual dating only type of woman. On the other hand, if she has solid banter game, kisses passionately, and we have good sex, I start to think about what a future with her would be like. Gold digger types don’t make for good partners in my experience. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/21 04:31 AM |
| 1 | How many times have you asked women what their N-count is?Never. I don’t give a shit about n count though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/21 04:25 AM |
| 1 | If 40 percent of the American population is obese and makes less than 50k a year, is really hard for men to get women?Meh, I’d say it can be pretty hard. I’m fit, earn 6 figures, decent conversationalist, generally acceptable personality, etc. Buuut. I’m short and Asian. It can suck pretty hard out there. And historically, it has. Thankfully, COVID dating dynamics have been kind to me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/21 04:24 AM |
| 2 | Why is hypergamy accepted for women, but not for men?It’s not a double standard, it’s just not a workable strategy. If I earn 250k/yr as a physician, and I want to date “up” (at least from a financial standpoint), how many viable prospects do I have? Realistically, not that many. Instead, I’ll date “up” by not compromising on what I find attractive, not compromising on age, and not compromising on single mothers. Those three restrictions alone narrow down my dating pool significantly. Like you, I can be happy alone. But unlike you, I’d prefer bein… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/21 04:18 AM |
| 0 | Will porn make men sexually incompatible with women?Well if those men are choosing porn over women, how do you propose they remain in the gene pool? By your own definition, they’re not looking for sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/11/21 05:07 PM |
| 2 | Will porn make men sexually incompatible with women?Does this matter? If those men choose porn over women, they’ll self-select out of the gene pool. And if there enough of them, then singles ratios might shift to the point where “average” men actually feel average again. But let’s be honest. Those men, as well as “average” men who still try to date, will simply bitch and moan about the state of dating. Just as women do. Just like we do. Not saying that debate isn’t fun. I just don’t see why this particular hypothetical matters. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/11/21 10:52 PM |
| 1 | FWB Relationships: The Gatekeeping of Sex by Women vs. The Gatekeeping of Relationships by MenI think you should clarify the FWB vs casual dating. Because to a lot of men, myself included, casual dating is 90% of what you describe as a FWB. The only difference is that we do go on dates and do stuff together. Hell, I go on man dates with my buddies. Why can’t I go on a date with a FWB? That said, I am casually dating a woman now. She has not indicated to me that she wants a serious relationship. If she secretly does, well, that’ll be the end of our casual dating/FWB thing. I think what we… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/11/21 10:00 PM |
| 9 | Commitment and communication are more important in making a relationship work than sex and passion.You can be committed, think that you’re communicating, and lose sight of sex and passion. I did that for years. The lack of sex (or more specifically, repeated rejections) had the effect of eroding my self esteem. This devolved into (likely) worse communication. I never wavered from a commitment standpoint. And frankly, after some ~5k and a year or so of therapy (solo and couples), I would argue that we both tried to improve the non-sexual part of the marriage. In the end, the dead bedroom was a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/11/21 09:47 PM |
| 27 | There is a conspiracy to invalidate the female mate-value hierarchy.Conspiracy? No. I can see why you’d think that. My take? Journalism/communications is a declining field. Men have figured that out and aren’t going into it. So you’ll have more women working in that field writing stuff from their perspective. Some perspectives will be fat acceptance. Some will be single moms are cool. And some might be that men can have preferences too. But they’ll publish the stuff that gets the most views, clicks, etc because that is what they need to do to stay afloat. They c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/10/21 06:38 PM |
| 31 | Do you think FDS has a fair assessment about bald men?I think FDS doesn’t have assessments so much as it is an echo chamber of toxic… thought processes. I would think that the vast majority of women prefer men with hair, and a small but significant minority are “repulsed” by baldness. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/10/21 04:03 AM |
| 18 | Are unattractive men more confident than unattractive women?Intrinsically? Doubtful. I think unattractive men have to learn to at least project confidence if they have any desire to succeed in the modern dating market. They rarely get any kind of support in that confidence. So they have to dig deep to find it. Some can figure it out. Some can’t. Women continuously compliment each other or can get a bunch of validation from several other outlets to build up confidence about their looks. I mean personally, I don’t find obese women attractive. At all. Neith… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/10/21 03:59 AM |
| 4 | Red pilled men know about hypergamy, so why don't they date down?I can afford to not care. And to the mens credit on here, I don’t. While an advanced degree isn’t necessarily a liability in my eyes, it isn’t a strong perk either. I’m more interested if she’s willing to settle down and start a family. But generally speaking, a woman who has put in the time/energy to obtain an advanced degree and to get her career off the ground tends to be hesitant to walk away from that for the sake of starting a family. And that’s perfectly fine. But it means that for me, sh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/21 03:14 AM |
| 14 | Red pilled men know about hypergamy, so why don't they date down?1) I’m not red pill, though I’m sure some here would argue that I am. (And others would argue that I’m blue pill) 2) I don’t date down because I don’t have to. Does this mean that I’ll have dry spells from time to time? Yes. But I don’t have to date down in order to have a (mostly) satisfying social/sex life. 3) I’m peeved at the notion that a man has to “be more” for and “accept less” from a woman. If that is what is expected, then we should theoretically be arguing for privilege for men, inste… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/10/21 03:25 PM |
| 3 | Developed countries are living in a global dating market, and it has having detrimental affects on men and women. CMVIt’s not a global dating market. It’s still local any way you slice it. Distance alone is a sufficiently high barrier to limit interactions. If you’re searching people more than an hr away with any regularity, you’re doing something wrong, live in the middle of nowhere, or just enjoy wasting your time. Fertility and birth rates aren’t our responsibility. Governments can see the trends and change incentives in their tax codes/laws to encourage or discourage birth rates. What any of us should care… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/21 06:34 PM |
| 2 | The men who want to have casual sex, and the men who shame women for having casual sex: are they usually the same men? If yes, how does it make sense to do both?I don’t think they’re all the same men, but I do think that a fair number of them are in that cohort. I want to have casual sex sex. Period. Casual, romantic, whatever. Sex is fucking great. If I could encourage more women to be free with their sexuality, I’d be all for it. Because more horny uninhibited women out there means more sex for all. (And by extension, more sex for me) Im sure some of the incel crowd (who by definition want sex- casual or not) shame women for casual sex. I think it’s a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/21 04:33 AM |
| 1 | Do men like or dislike, on an individual level, modern contraceptives? How has contraceptives changed mens prospects for a family?Are you fucking out of your mind? Modern contraceptives are fucking awesome. I get to fuck that many more different women in my lifetime with a drastically lower risk of having to pay child support. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/21 04:27 AM |
| 1 | “Unwavering Desire”Looks, how I smell, the way I carry myself, my voice- whatever. Anything but my professional/breadwinning identity. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/10/21 07:35 PM |
| 3 | “Unwavering Desire”I want her to look at me, and think “god I want to jump his bones” The same way I look at her and think “fuck I want to fuck her” I don’t want her to look at me and go “meh”, then realize I’m an MD grossing 5-6x her salary, and go “well hello there doctor…” I don’t look at her and go “meh”, realize she’s the only viable option at the moment and say “well hello there available…” At least not for dating potential. Make sense? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/10/21 10:52 PM |
| 1 | Porn addition being bad for men is one of the few topics that TRP & FDS agree onDebatable. I’m looking for marriage material. I do reasonably well, but just matching with someone is still the rate limiting step in that search. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/10/21 08:54 PM |
| 1 | Can women actually achieve the required standards or are they a little unrealistic?There aren’t really standards. If a woman doesn’t smoke or tan excessively (ie: doesn’t prematurely age her skin) and she eats an appropriate amount (ie: not obese), she’ll probably be fine. The goal of “not being obese” is very attainable for men and women. Men’s goals of building muscles and getting cut are challenging. Women’s goals of building some tone/“tightening up” are challenging. But not being fat? That’s easy. Run about a 500 calorie/day deficit for several months. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/10/21 09:19 PM |
| 3 | Q4MEN who have been in very long term relationships... could she ever get your attention again, and if so, how?In my longest relationship (marriage), she never really lost my attention. When the sex began to fall off a cliff, I remained faithful and seldomly let my eyes wander. When she cheated, the trust was irrevocably damaged. I could’ve forgiven a transient libido mismatch. I will not tolerate being cheated on. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/10/21 12:49 AM |
| 2 | Are "good girls" really what men want?For some men, yes, a good girl is what they want and they won’t stray. For other men, no. In other words, men are not a monolith. Just like women aren’t a monolith. But in general, well-adjusted folks like other well-adjusted folks. Boring people like other boring people. Wild people like other wild people. Go figure. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/10/21 08:13 PM |
| 1 | What is your preference for the physical types of men a woman dated in the past relative to you?I wouldn’t give a shit what her exes looked like. Hell my exes look fairly dissimilar. The only thing in common is that they were all in good shape. Multiple ethnicities; boobs from almost flat to triple D; heights from 5’0” to maybe 5’6”; brunettes, blondes, and one redhead. Back to your question. The practical utility presumes that you can truly know a woman’s sexual past. This will never happen in real life. All you can do is get a feel for how a given woman behaves with you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/10/21 08:08 PM |
| 7 | The rise in male sexlessness is cause by a combination of factorsMeh. I think sugar dating is on the decline. I’ve dabbled in it for a few years, and a few of my contacts still do. From what I gather, too many women on that site seem to have the idea that men want to be friend zoned. Even if I didn’t have a reliable FWB going, I don’t think I’ll go back to that. And most of my buddies have had it with the main website. I think enough of us are being pushed out that it’ll be a dead end. Pity, it was great while it lasted. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/10/21 07:59 PM |
| 1 | What is your advice for a girl that have been pumped and dumped?Do some self reflection about what you want and how you behave to get that. I have dumped a couple of women at around that time period. It became apparent to me that the bedroom or personality compatibility was irreconcilable for the long term. And I date with the goal of finding wife material. There’s no way to assess the bedroom compatibility without having sex. That said, a good make out session does suggest at least compatible foreplay preferences. There are ways to assess personality compat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/10/21 05:13 PM |
| 3 | For men and women: what do sexual and romantic attraction mean to you, are they different, and at what timeline in a relationship do you feel them?Agree with your rough definitions. Disagree with the /s timelines. My timelines are <30 secs for sexual attraction (basically an instinct thing), and anywhere between 1-2 dates and a dozen dates for romantic attraction. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/09/21 11:20 PM |
| 1 | As a man it's better to be a "husband material" than having random short term encountersI meet all your metrics for “husband material” save the house situation. I’ll buy a house if I have need for the extra bedrooms. And I don’t personally care for condo equity (or more specifically, getting rid of a condo down the line) I have random short-ish term encounters with women. Is there an STI risk? Yes. I mostly have safe sex, but I’ll admit to more than a few slip-ups. Would I like one stable partner? Yes. But I’m not going to find her unless I date a number of women. Eventually one of… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/09/21 08:56 PM |
| 3 | Should men chase women?I do the same. I’ve either got other women to talk to, or more often the case, friends/hobbies that I could nurture/spend time on. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/21 02:48 PM |
| 1 | Absolute dealbreakers for datingNo political correctness here. I’m a mid-30s well-to-do man. My absolute dealbreakers: Fat (I stay fit myself) Older than 32 (too old to date and potentially get hitched/start a family before she’s too old for that) Single mother (no desire to contribute to another man’s kids wellbeing) Smoker/drugs/addiction (seems like a basic requirement nowadays) The rest I’ll evaluate on a case by case basis. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/09/21 05:03 PM |
| 5 | Would you rather stay lonely or date somebody who doesn’t necessarily pass all your dealbreakers?My casual dating dealbreaker is: “is she hot enough that my little head says yes” My serious relating dealbreaker is the above plus age <32, no single mothers, wants kids. I have friends and hobbies that keep me quite fulfilled. Even if I weren’t seeing a woman casually, I wouldn’t settle. It’s not worth wasting my time on dead ends. And if I age out of dating for marriage/kids, then I’d probably just do the sugar baby thing again. It’s a lot cheaper than what I could lose in a poor match. YMMV | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/09/21 04:48 PM |
| – | How much should you tell your significant other about your financial situation?I’m a man who earns a relatively comfortable income. I don’t tell anyone I’m dating any of the details. All she needs to know is whether I’m living within my means. If someone starts probing about my finances before I’m thinking about proposing, I’d take that as a red flag. But if I’m thinking about marriage (and therefore commingling our finances), then it’s fair game. Before that point, there is no “we” in a financial sense. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/09/21 02:27 AM |
| 5 | NYT article regarding SAHMs of the elite: would more women want to live like this if they could (but these are top women), or is it more of a self-selection that only these women aspire to this kind of life?That’s true for all of rural America. But finding a job with middle/UMC wages in rural America is a bit more challenging. In urban centers, where (I suspect) a narrow majority of the population resides, those wages are readily accessible. But the cost of living in urban areas is significantly higher. I agree that spending habits are a huge variable though. Unless I’m grossing 400k, there’s no way I could support a SAHM and kids in say, SF/NYC. Not without sacrificing on my lifestyle or without (… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/09/21 02:13 AM |
| 2 | What do you consider to be "realistic standards" for your gender?Mid-30s man here. I think a realistic standard for us is fat-matched (as opposed to looks match-which is very subjective), and kid-status-match. Beyond those relatively objective standards, my experience is that my domestic and “manly” skill set, as well as my earning potential, give me access to women who are probably a bit better looking than my “looks match” would be. Not dramatically so, since a lot of those variables have to offset my short guy status as well. But I do reasonably well for m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/09/21 03:52 AM |
| 3 | What do you consider to be "realistic standards" for your gender?Unremarkable, depending on the locale, can be as simple as “not obese and not a single mother.” In other areas, it might mean, “fit but not overboard with tattoos/piercings.” For me, not obese and not a single mother is a prerequisite. I don’t have many more hard dealbreakers beyond that, but there are a lot of fudge factors that I do think about. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/09/21 05:38 PM |
| 1 | Daily Community Chat MegathreadBody shape. I live in a part of the country with very high rates of obesity. And I know from experience that I can’t enjoy sex with fat women. So I don’t bother wasting either of our time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/08/21 07:40 PM |
| 2 | The only thing that will end women's control over the dating market and men's sexuality is advanced aiNot going to work out that way. 1) men crave real affection from real women. An AI or robot, no matter how sophisticated, will always be a robot/AI. 2) even if such tech existed, it’d be out of the grasp of average/below average men. Sex dolls were relatively new some 20yrs ago. A quick search reveals that they’re still 6-10k today. And these lack AI. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/08/21 11:29 AM |
| 1 | If casual sex suddenly became readily available to you, (same way it is to women) how much time would you now devote to having sex? If you're currently in a relationship, would you drop her?I’d devote less time to finding sex, but the time I presently spend looking for sex would be diverted to dating for long term potential. I’d aim to have sex 3-5x/wk. Each woman would get a trial 3-4 times before I decide whether we’re sexually compatible, but then whether she thinks I’m relationship material is unknown. I might spend a little less time on some of my hobbies to accommodate the sex/chatting, but not much. I like my hobbies a lot. Basically, if I had free access to sex, my dating e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/08/21 03:11 PM |
| 2 | Societal Shift in Attitudes Towards Becoming a Stepfather/Dating Single Moms in Younger Generations?I think the disdain for single moms by single unencumbered men was always there. As for a societal shift, my guess: single moms broadcast “my kids come first” on dating apps like Tinder. If we see this enough, we learn to think, “well, you’re not my first choice either- next!” If we think this enough, we reinforce the notion that single mothers are just toxic. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/08/21 02:59 PM |
| 1 | Do you think a relationship with a power imbalance can work or do you consider it always wrong?If I thought a power imbalance was wrong, I’d have to date women making 250~350k from UMC backgrounds. That’d narrow my dating pool to an even smaller segment of society. Thats fucking ridiculous. I’m going to date. And I maintain that such power imbalances can work between the right people. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/21 04:09 AM |
| 3 | Men have to choose between success with women and having male friendships - agree or disagree?Disagree. I have friends, both men and women. All met in the past 2-3 yrs. I’ve dated and slept with an adequate number of women in that time frame. It’s about priorities. You can swipe and message all day at the expense of a friend network. Or you can be a little more balanced. I’ve done the swiping exclusively before, thinking that some of those women would become friends. That was a failed venture. So now I intentionally make friends and intentionally date women. Works for me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/21 04:03 AM |
| – | Nothing screams ''insecurity'' more than fake boobs, lip jobs, botox and other ''upgrades''.Meh. I agree that a warm natural smile is highly attractive. Especially when so many women are into flipping off the camera, filters, sticking out their tongues, resting bitch face, etc. But if a given woman needs a boob job, fillers, etc to feel confident enough to show her smile, so be it. Like you, I don’t go for the plastic surgery look. Smaller real boobs are so much more fun than larger fake ones, in my experience. Lip fillers weird me the fuck out. Botox just makes someone who is wrinkly … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/21 03:57 AM |
| 2 | What makes a woman high value?Half of that list is just basic dating for folks who have outgrown the college party phase. I only pursue women I find attractive. For me, that’s fit and feminine. My dealbreakers are single mothers, smokers, and people with addiction histories. Of those women, what makes one high value comes down to a few things like how mature she is about her career/finances. If she makes half as much as I do and lives within her means, that’s awesome. Having been in a dead bedroom marriage, I also strongly v… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/08/21 01:27 PM |
| 3 | CMV: Women care about lifestyle over money/wealthI think it might for a difference between 50k/100k, or if both incomes are similar. But for someone in the 2-300k range, we know that most folks we meet/date aren’t earning anywhere near what we do. I’ve decided what luxuries I value and pay for, and which ones I don’t. My partner can come along for the ride at no expense to her, chip in if she so insists, or voice her preferences so that we can have a discussion about things. But unless we’re at a stage of marriage/“our” money, I’ll continue to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/08/21 07:31 PM |
| 3 | CMV: Women care about lifestyle over money/wealthThat presumes that you want to pay your “share,” which is admirable (and desirable). But if I feel like eating out every night for a week or two (I get into a kitchen funk every now and then), I don’t wonder whether my partner will pay her share. I wonder what the hell she wants to eat. Spending $4-70 on my food/delivery/tip vs $6-100 isn’t a big deal to me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/08/21 06:16 PM |
| 1 | Women not wanting to date you because you’re ugly, short, and not attractive are valid reasons to not want to sex/date you.Yep. I’m team Apple at home. It’d be far easier cohabitating with a fellow apple enthusiast. Would I reject android users? Hell no, I’m not militant about this stuff. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/08/21 11:43 AM |
| 3 | CMV: Women care about lifestyle over money/wealthI think lifestyle might be the initial draw for many women, but when push comes to shove and they realize that a more substantial purchase is beyond the reach of the “broke guy,” they’ll break it off. After this happens enough times, the smart women learn to look for more subtle tells of wealth/income potential/etc. You sound like you’re doing well for yourself. But bear in mind that at some point, one can be sufficiently miserly to deter a potential partner from wanting to go beyond the superfi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/08/21 02:21 AM |
| 1 | What is concerning about much younger woman/much older man age-gap relationships?I don’t see the problem as an outsider. But I do see it being an issue were I the man in such a relationship. For me, the likelihood of a successful LTR/marriage arising out of an 18/40 pairing is so incredibly low that it is effectively zero. It’s a waste of my time (should I still desire marriage when I turn 40). But if both parties are happy “just seeing how it goes,” I have no personal objection. In fairness, I’ve done the age gap thing in the context of sugar dating. For me, the financial p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/08/21 05:16 PM |
| 0 | The dating game- Worth it for average men or not?If said average man desires a relationship/family/kids/etc, dating seems like it’d be mandatory. It’s a grind, but how else do you think a guy is supposed to find a partner? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/08/21 04:58 AM |
| 13 | What We Saw In Afghanistan Today is Proof That Men Don’t Even Protect Submissive WomenExtrapolating from Afghani culture to western/American culture is an erroneous exercise, but I think you may have conceded this elsewhere. I enjoy playing devils advocate, so let me take a stab at this… A lot of the manosphere folks might make the claim that women’s suffrage/rights etc have led to the downfall of society. While I personally think those guys are idiots, I can’t exactly make a strong case against the most basic claim. Most societies have historically oppressed women. And they’ve a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/08/21 03:09 AM |
| 1 | Why are single mothers considered less desirable mates?All the cons you listed are on my short list. I will say that your #8 is more like my #2. The fact that there are so many cons- before I even see a picture- makes it not worthwhile to consider single mothers. I’m a fit, relatively successful, relatively well-adjusted single (albeit divorced) man. I don’t need to settle for single mothers to get dates. So I won’t. And in all likelihood, I won’t need to settle for them ever. If I’m still single/dating in 15-20yrs and there’s an attractive empty ne… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/21 06:16 AM |
| 2 | Housekeepers make relationships healthierDon’t think this is true for everyone. Very likely not me. I’m anal retentive about my kitchen, where stuff gets put away, and wiping down my countertops. I also keep my floors clean of debris (though dust bunnies don’t bother me). And my laundry is on a 3-4wk cycle. A housekeeper would only clean things up to their standards. Mine are more stringent in some respects, less stringent in others. And chores don’t bother me because the time spent doing this stuff is minimal. I clean up my kitchen wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/21 05:00 AM |
| 2 | What kind of man would you want your daughters to date?Someone like me would be totally fine. Physically: In adequate shape (thin or average, depending on who you ask), works out moderately (ie values fitness. Someone a little taller than me might be nice so that my grandkids, should they be men, don’t face the uphill challenges I face. Not a lot taller because I’d want potential granddaughters to be more on the petite side. Domestically: capable in the kitchen and cleans some things but isn’t quite OCD Professionally: makes a decent salary in a car… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/21 03:28 PM |
| 2 | Would you rather women be more lenient with LOOKS standards.....or FRAME standardsI’d say looks because the battle in online dating is making it to the first date. At least that’s what I find most challenging. Once we’re on a date, I’ve found that I’m attractive enough in my baseline personality that this isn’t an issue for me. I’m assertive/dominant on things that matter to me, and deferential on things that don’t. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/21 02:44 PM |
| 3 | The Complete And Total Silencing Of Men Is Causing A Massive Morality Imbalance Between Men And WomenI’ll agree that it feels like there’s a general misandrist sentiment in American society nowadays. But I don’t think women get roasted for saying they only date tall men any more than men get roasted for saying they only date fit women. Hell, I’ve been open about only dating fit women with my colleagues, and they’re all supportive. It probably helps that I’m fairly fit myself. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/21 03:09 AM |
| 2 | Would you rather live a life in lower class with the woman of your dreams, or a life of riches that is otherwise loveless?Some might do this. I fully accept that the financial support side of things is intrinsic to sugar relationships. As is a lopsided looks/age gap. I never felt that I could truly know whether a given sugar baby was completely into me. And I don’t think a given sugar baby could ever know whether I’d just as easily replace her with a younger girl in a few years. As a result, I don’t think a relationship that has its origins in sugar dating is viable for a conventional relationship. Besides, sugar r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/21 11:47 PM |
| 1 | Do average men really meet partners from dating apps? Or are you lying?Mixed bag. Debatable whether I fall into an average category. I’m below average height, relatively fit, arguably handsome facial features. I’m also an Asian and a physician. I get enough matches to usually have one conversation going at all times. I have enough conversations to usually have at least one first date a month. Some women want more from me than I’m willing to give them. Some vice versa. I’d estimate that I’ve dated/had sex with perhaps 3 women in the past 2-3 yrs for more than a few … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/21 11:30 PM |
| 1 | Would you rather live a life in lower class with the woman of your dreams, or a life of riches that is otherwise loveless?Modest lifestyle with a loving family. I might not be “rich” enough to not work another day in my life, but I earn enough that I can do anything I want and will be just fine in retirement as long as I’m not reckless with my money. Buying stuff and indulging in expensive hobbies is fun, but I’d be miserable if I were perpetually lonely. And yes, I’ve done the sugar baby thing. Totally fun, and can feel very “real” (probably was with a few of mine), but at the end of the day, it’s only transient. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/08/21 06:46 PM |
| 3 | What is everyone's opinions on "No More Mr. Nice Guy!" (the book)?I thought it was a great read. Somewhere in my marriage, I stopped caring about what I (and others) thought, and only cared about what my wife thought. I rationalized that if I did x, y, z, I would get laid. It never worked, I’d get frustrated, etc. The marriage fell apart for other reasons, but this was a big underlying factor, I think. Having had the “truisms” illustrated to me in the book, I’ve made a conscious effort to not loose sight of the shit that matters to me, and to communicate clear… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/08/21 04:37 AM |
| 1 | Is a woman's career trivial regarding her prospect as a long-term partner/wife if the couple doesn't want kids?Even if I didn’t want kids, I’m still going to want an attractive partner. I earn enough to live modestly while saving aggressively. I don’t need a woman to also pull in 6-figures. It’s a nice bonus, but it’s not a “must-have” for me. What I do “need” is a woman who I find attractive, who is about as sexual as I am, and who is into me as much as I am into her. Do I care about stuff like college pedigree, family connections, her career, etc? Yes, obviously. But given the choice between a hot woma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/08/21 12:44 AM |
| 5 | Romantic and sexual interest are just differentAlso can’t say I relate either. If I’m into a woman romantically, I’m also thinking about her sexually. But I don’t develop romantic attachments until after we’ve had sex a few times and have determined that sexually there’s enough to pursue further. Hell, just knowing that a woman shares compatible kinks with me puts her at the top of the sexual compatibility rankings for me. And then I start thinking about exploring those things with her. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/08/21 03:26 AM |
| 1 | Different dating norms/issues in different socioeconomic classes?I think dating norms transcend socioeconomic class, generally speaking. With online dating in particular, your potential match is largely based on whose pics you find attractive. Poor, rich, uneducated, educated, new money, old money, etc… few people publicize that info. And if they did, it’s subject to a fuck ton of bias. That said, being in a higher socioeconomic class means that for the most part, any relationship I pursue won’t be faced with financial hardship/stressors. Since financial disa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/08/21 03:23 AM |
| 4 | Despite TRP claiming that most women have violent rape fantasies, in reality it's mostly just victims of childhood sexual abuse that do.News to me that TRP makes that assertion. I can say that in my experience, probably half of the women I’ve dated express at least a curiosity about being submissive, restraints/light kink, consensual non consensual, etc. The other half I never ended up having that kind of conversation with, but I’d hazard a guess that they were more vanilla in their sexual preferences. Very few of the women I’ve dated reported a history of sexual abuse/trauma. For me, that’s a huge red flag and encourages me to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/08/21 05:46 PM |
| 5 | Men complaining about women who complain about age gaps are just shifting the blame.Not sure what you’re getting at. Shifting the blame or not, when I date a younger woman (say 7yr+ age gap), I don’t give a shit what women my age think. I don’t give a shit what men my age think. I care about what how woman I’m dating feels. Likewise when I see an older guy dating a younger woman, I don’t view him as competition. I’m happy that they both seem happy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/08/21 01:11 AM |
| 15 | FDS v. TRPI’ve lurked on both subs (and mgtow2) a while back. My take: TRP: lift, wear clothes that fit, stabilize your career, talk to women, observe what “works,” seduce as many as you can, commit to none FDS: you’re perfect as you are, almost all men are beneath you, they should pay for everything, don’t fuck until you’re sure he’s “high value” (and it’s not clear there’s a consensus on what constitutes high value) MGTOW2: 50% how do I ignore the women around me, I want to live my life amongst a brothe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/08/21 03:15 PM |
| 1 | The brunt of disrespectful and relentless sexual harassment falls on women percieved as attainable rather than exceptionally attractive.Must be a weird reality for you. If someone isn’t attractive to me, I don’t pursue. If she is, I do. And if I get shot down, I move on. It’s pretty straightforward. No mind games necessary. I don’t have the time, inclination, or personality type to waste energy trying to denigrate someone who has rejected me. I generally thank them for being forthcoming in that rejection. It’s far better than them doing a slow fade in a way where it’s hard to tell whether she’s truly busy or actually trying to g… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/07/21 02:42 AM |
| 3 | Now that you have seen the true faces of men and women, will your dating approach change at all when things get back to "normal"?I’m a man. A short one at that. Oh, and I’m Asian-American. I never had a delusion that many women find me attractive. And I’m well aware that my income/career is a big draw. I’m not sure what constitutes the “true face” of women. But for the most part, I’m not changing my dating behavior. I still swipe on women I find attractive, still initiate contact/plan dates, still escalate/make sexual advances at my pace, and still will only commit if she’s wife/kids material. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/21 01:08 AM |
| 3 | Do you think Online Dating just makes it too easy for the opposite sex (either one)?I think it’s made it easier for both sexes to find attractive partners if the person is already attractive, but it also makes it easy for women to find attractive partners even if the woman is only “average.” Whether those partners are solid dating material (vs casual material) is very different. For me, online dating has made it possible for me to meet women I’d never normally encounter. It’s definitely a grind, but instead of only meeting folks in healthcare, I’ve met women in education, busin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/21 04:44 PM |
| 1 | There is no proof that men aren't having ”good quality” sex in relationships.For me, teasing can happen as early as dinner (footsie under the table, a quick grab/squeeze, etc). When making out, sometimes she initiates tongue, sometimes I do, sometimes we’ve got tongue in each other’s mouths, other times it’s more like pecks- it’s like a tug of war. Same goes for getting undressed- there’s certainly instances where we just want to get each other naked as soon as possible. But sometimes it’s fun to take time taking each other’s clothes off. Same goes for getting started. I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/21 04:38 PM |
| 7 | There is no proof that men aren't having ”good quality” sex in relationships.Some men on here may fall under the “incel” umbrella. I personally don’t. Even if I did, I see no problem debating/complaining about a shitty situation on a debate sub. During a relatively long dry spell of mine, I almost paid for a high end prostitute. But I wanted the thrill of chasing and “getting” the girl. You can’t get that with prostitutes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/21 04:18 PM |
| 12 | There is no proof that men aren't having ”good quality” sex in relationships.I’m sure that someone here can cite some study to counter your title claim. You bring up a number of points. I will agree that watching what men (and women) do is far more effective than listening to what men (and women) say. Unenthusiastic sex means different things to different folks. For me, it means that kissing is lacking in passion, foreplay is lacking in teasing, and sex is lacking in her hip movement/communication/etc. Not sure why we can’t complain about quality/quantity. And for most o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/21 03:07 PM |
| 1 | Will obesity collapse the dating market? - in the year 2030, 60% of American women will be obese.I tried having sex with a fat woman and was scarred by the experience. I will not put myself in that situation again. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/21 11:07 PM |
| 3 | Does texting kill attraction?Depends. I’ve texted a lot, I’ve texted a little. I basically match my texting intensity to hers. I don’t think there’s a hard and fast rule, but I do think that less texting tends to result in better first date rates. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/21 10:59 PM |
| 4 | More women should give chances to the men who prefer going Dutch - they aren’t trying to mask their intentions under the guise of tradition/chivalryMan here. In theory, I prefer going Dutch- I’m a cheap-ass when it comes to a lot of things. In practice, I just pick up the check. Maybe it’s because I out earn most women I’ve met by 200k or so, so picking up her dinner is no big deal. Maybe it’s out of a sense of chivalry. Maybe it’s because I want to get into her pants. Regardless of why I’m paying, I always want to get into her pants. Otherwise I wouldn’t ask her on a date. Women can choose to give a chance to men who want to go Dutch, to u… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/21 10:55 PM |
| 5 | If you don't want her at her worst, you don't deserve her at her best.I want what I want. For me, a dealbreaker is fat. Not a specific body fat % or weight or BMI. I damn well will pursue women at their “best” fitness levels. I also maintain a “best” (or at least damn near best) fitness level for myself. I can’t love a fat woman who is a complete stranger. Whether I can love a woman who was slim when we met and continued to remain slim for several years as we bonded/etc only to become fat, say, after becoming pregnant with my child, is a different question. No amo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/21 12:02 AM |
| 4 | Does RP/GTOW necessarily equals "misogynistic"?Bear in mind, I don’t identify with RP or MGTOW. I have, however, lurked on those subs (as well as FDS) before. I don’t think either group is misogynistic. RP is largely about empirical strategies to fuck (and occasionally date) women on terms more advantageous to the RPer. Part of those strategies involves assuming a mentality of “no woman is worth all my attention,” so that a rejection (or a dozen rejections) isn’t particularly devastating to one’s psyche. But those RPers still derive a lot of… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/07/21 01:44 AM |
| 3 | Will obesity collapse the dating market? - in the year 2030, 60% of American women will be obese.I’m a minority too, I suppose. Thankfully online dating isn’t too bad for me. I only swipe on fit and attractive (to me). I’d rather go several weeks with crickets for a dating life than fake an orgasm to stop fucking a fat woman again. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/07/21 10:10 PM |
| 0 | Even if a woman lowers her standards, she won't be ATTRACTED to the man she's lowered them for...I believe anyone absolutely can calibrate attraction. If you consciously normalize “hot or not” (and are successful as opposed to going through the motions), over time, you’ll develop an appreciation for the 6-7/10s. Of course the 8-9/10s will still be attractive to you. But appreciation atrophy is a thing. In fairness, I’m a man. I have a body type that’s automatic hot. And a body type range that I can find attractive for dating and relationships. That range has been widened. Just a few yrs ago… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/07/21 07:40 PM |
| – | Question about physical presentation for datingI’m on the dating market, with a smaller build. About 5’7”, 145 lbs. I do well enough in online dating insofar as matches, just not necessarily to the women I most desire. I would like to bulk up for personal reasons though. Between my metabolism, eating habits, and presumably genetics, it doesn’t come easy to me. Never has. It might be possible with more dedication to lifting and diet on my part. But the way I approach my career makes that a logistical impossibility. And I’m rocking out on the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/07/21 01:21 AM |
| 3 | If a woman rushes into sex with you quickly, she does not care about you beyond sexual carthasis, because intimacy does not develop quickly, and people who like people care about their opinionIf a woman rushes into sex with me, she’s into me and vice versa. Whether we remain into each other is an unknown. Intimacy can very well develop quickly. If two people are on similar wavelengths regarding their insecurities, baggage, etc, you can learn an awful lot about someone in a single date. Before or after sex. Besides, older women who have healthy libidos can care about sexual compatibility too. There’s no way to definitively assess sexual compatibility short of having sex. Repeatedly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/21 09:31 PM |
| 1 | Men have a preference for younger women?1) if they’re not interested in you (or you in them) and they aren’t work colleagues/friends/etc, why do you care about their opinion? 2) 10+ yrs younger than you is pushing the limits for dating, IMO. And this is coming from someone who has done the whole sugar baby thing. If I’m finding a sugar baby, she’s got to violate the age/2+7 rule. But for regular dating, I stick to the rule. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/21 08:10 PM |
| 1 | Q4Men: Would you rather?Easily #2. I expect to initiate date planning, pay for date expenses, and initiate sexual advances. I’m pleasantly surprised when a woman takes initiative in any/all of the above. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/21 08:01 PM |
| 6 | Where are all the good men?Interesting website. I put my age range, height, not obese, income in. I’m a 1%er. Pretty sure my income is responsible for that. I do think that the website data is a bit flawed. The numbers (when you play around with them) just don’t add up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/21 10:28 PM |
| 1 | Have you ever felt or been unwillingly part of a soft harem? Can you recognize the signs?You should always date in a way that feels comfortable to you. Just realize that for men, we can’t afford to court one woman at a time on the off chance that things progress sexually. Or at least I can’t. I tried it when I first started online dating. After about a month of seeing her, it was clear that we didn’t like each other enough to have sex. So I went back to the drawing board. And it took a few weeks of swiping/sending messages before another date materialized. So from my standpoint, I w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/21 11:51 PM |
| 1 | Is It Now More Difficult For Not So Attractive Men To Get Partners?I think it’s more difficult. I didn’t struggle at all in college. Since then, I weigh about the same. Hell I still wear a bunch of the same clothes because they fit and refuse to start falling apart. Still have all my hair, etc. College me and current me differ by a couple of advanced degrees and grown-up responsibilities. Physically, I’m pretty similar. Yet I’ve only been doing the online dating thing for the past few years. And it is really fucking difficult. But so is making friends as an adu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/21 11:45 PM |
| 0 | CMV: Sex robots, legal prostitution, improved sex toys etc. won’t have any major impact on dissatisfied men.Legal prostitutes: yeah, I doubt it’ll impact dissatisfied men. For one, I’d hazard a guess that a typical man would only be able to afford to see a prostitute about once a month. That means that 96% of the time, he’s still going to be horny and alone. Secondarily, as someone who’s come very close to pulling the trigger on a “high end escort,” I know that the pay by the hour model would bother me. A sex robot, on the other hand. That might be different. If an AI is sufficiently advanced, it coul… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/21 11:34 PM |
| 2 | Do most regular men want a woman that is 50/50?I don’t care. There are things that I enjoy: vacuuming, cooking together, laundry, etc. And things that I don’t enjoy: dusting, cleaning bathrooms, baking. Most women who have been to my place remark that it’s spotless. I have never dusted, but I occasionally wipe the dust off my wine collection, for example. In an ideal world, we’d have complementary interests. In the real world, there will be at least one task that neither of us enjoys. And either we’ll take turns or I’ll hire someone else to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/21 12:14 AM |
| 2 | Women don’t have to fuck to show interest on the first dateThat’s definitely not my impression of the consensus. Although it would seem that you and the OP seem to share the same impression of ppd. Nonetheless, ppd is no more a monolith than all men or all women. At least for me, I’ve consistently maintained that women (and men) should progress to sex when they feel ready. If one party is too slow/fast for the other, that pairing wasn’t compatible. I’ve drawn my personal cutoff at 5-ish dates because I tend to be more slow to escalate. To your point, I … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/21 01:39 PM |
| 2 | Women don’t have to fuck to show interest on the first dateAgree that it should be. But either I’m misreading (debatable) or it depends heavily on sexual norms/moires where you live (likely). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/21 11:52 AM |
| 2 | Women don’t have to fuck to show interest on the first dateWell in my opinion, it’s a pretty solid argument. I don’t see how sexual compatibility can be assessed prior to having sex. Multiple times, at that- the very first time with a new partner is almost always middle of the road because neither party has the balls to talk about sex openly early on. And as for the importance of sexual compatibility, it seems to me that it’s a pretty critical component of a romantic relationship for most people with somewhat active libidos. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/21 11:35 AM |
| 11 | Women don’t have to fuck to show interest on the first dateI don’t think the men of ppd tend to insist that sex on the first date should happen for all men because one man got to do it. I certainly don’t say that. Hell, I don’t even say sex on the third date. I’m not as smooth as I’d like to be. But I will personally cut bait after 5 dates without sex. What I see the men of ppd generally agree on is that sex should happen somewhat early. Some feel like they’ve done “enough” courtship that if she’s been seeing him, it should be natural. Others, like me, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/21 10:28 AM |
| 1 | Are your dating chances really better when the ale/female ratio is in your favour?SF: tech hub, male dominated field, men outnumber women. Women have their pick of men. NYC: for some reason, single women outnumber men. Some women report asking men out in order to date. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/21 04:32 AM |
| 2 | Are your dating chances really better when the ale/female ratio is in your favour?Obviously they should be. Dating is a numbers game. If the odds are in your favor, it can be quite pleasant. You need only look at the generalizations about dating in SF vs NYC, for example, to see those trends play out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/21 03:00 PM |
| 1 | What's with PPD's obsession with sex, and not the other wonderful parts in a relationship?Obviously I don’t speak for everyone, but those little moments of love and closeness you describe come easily to me when I’m dating someone. What doesn’t come easily is finding someone who I can do those things with but also have good sex with. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/21 02:53 PM |
| 0 | "Men are not 'more visual' or more easily turned on than women are, a study finds"That’s a nice objective finding. Whether it is rooted in truth is a different beast. The fact of the matter is that there are far more unknowns than there are knowns about the brain and how it works. Trying to extrapolate from what little we do know seems like a fool’s errand to me. Fun, perhaps. But not definitive by any stretch of the imagination. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/21 08:13 PM |
| 3 | Speaking do heterosexual relationships, what actually attracts the opposite gender? Can we name the causes?Would concur. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/21 12:00 AM |
| 3 | Women's standards ("the bar") are indeed low, but not for the reasons you thinkMaybe in HCOL areas, we might have roommates into our 30s. But generally, my single friends around the country all live in 1-2BR apartments if they’re urban, or modest houses in the suburbs. Sample size of ~5 to be fair. 30-35 is where (assuming we want the wife/kids thing), we “sleep around” in an effort to find someone compatible to wife up. But that’s just the process of dating. I think it becomes tremendously easier when singles (both men and women) are less stringent on their “looks thresho… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/07/21 07:25 PM |
| 8 | Women's standards ("the bar") are indeed low, but not for the reasons you thinkTo your point that women’s bar for men is “low” for all spheres except looks, I will say that I agree to a point. I think some women who only go after looks find themselves in a circle of very handsome men with variable personal success. They can complain all they want about the quality of men- they’re choosing based on some extremes. But I disagree that (broadly) women’s bar for men is low. Women still care about “all the other stuff” - those who loosen up their looks threshold adequately will … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/07/21 06:55 PM |
| 1 | OLD studies contain the most objective data we've ever had on the effect of looks on dating, so people are right to hold those studies in high regardI’ve been plenty introspective, done a fair amount of therapy, and read a fair number of books (or listened to the audiobook version). On PPD, I don’t give advice. I just debate based on my knowledge base of experience/education/introspection- like (I would imagine) what most others on here do. If I wanted to give advice, I’d be much more active on dating over thirty or relationship advice subs. Imagine if more folks didn’t make assumptions about anonymous internet strangers. The internet might … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/21 06:05 PM |
| 2 | Vigorously avoiding risk and discomfort is the source of many modern problems, including dating problemsI’m with you here. Also want kids. But only in the next few years. If I hit 40 and don’t have kids, kids/marriage are off the table and I’ll just be a serial monogamist with any woman I find attractive. Including single mothers. But I may be different from most on here. Perhaps it’s my version of a “dual mating” strategy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/21 06:43 PM |
| 1 | OLD studies contain the most objective data we've ever had on the effect of looks on dating, so people are right to hold those studies in high regardTo that I would say: take a minute and be introspective. See what about you, your behavior, or your profile could be improved while remaining true to yourself. Then do those things. And soliciting the recommendations of friends/family couldn’t hurt either. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/21 06:11 PM |
| 6 | OLD studies contain the most objective data we've ever had on the effect of looks on dating, so people are right to hold those studies in high regardI’m torn on this. I mostly agree with you that those results should be held in high regard (or at the very least, not disregarded). That said, I also see the value in not letting that data get inside your head. I think those studies shed a lot of light on practical online dating behaviors that should shape how (or whether) we engage with online dating. Ie: If you’re hideous and striking out all the time, a better use of your time would be to work on getting fit before reattempting to do online d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/21 08:01 PM |
| 1 | Being 6 feet or taller is significantly overrated for menIt’s fairly comfortable in the Midwest. Midrange 1BR apts here rent for under 1k. Up to 2k in the heart of downtown. I still contend that there aren’t enough single 25~35yo men making north of 100k for women to realistically consider that cutoff as a reasonable cutoff. But to your point, yes, 6-figures doesn’t live up to the “idea” of 6-figures. Not when I net ~50% of my gross after taxes, retirement, insurance, etc. Sure, if I truly want to do/buy something, money isn’t the rate limiting step. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/21 04:25 PM |
| 0 | Men with genetic disadvantages and personal defects should stop dating and pursuing women.Hard disagree. I’m arguably handsome, fit, pull a healthy salary in a respected field, but I am probably the 10~20th percentile or so insofar as height. Fuck if I’m going to stop dating and pursuing women. Not while I’ve got a libido, at least. Ordinarily I have an acceptable match/conversation/date rate. Either the dividends of working on my fitness are paying off bigtime, or “post”-COVID is a wonderful time to date. I doubt my fitness is the answer. My gains are really minimal- I lost all of 5… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/21 05:56 AM |
| 0 | Withholding sex, because the person wants a 'serious' relationship is bad if the other person is asexual and doesn't know it.I think withholding sex on the grounds that it will be more likely to result in a “serious” relationship is a fool’s errand. And perhaps your asexual example bears some weight. More broadly, I think it’s an asinine strategy for sexually interested people because dating in the absence of sex just sounds miserable. Hell, it’s why many men arbitrarily choose a cutoff for a number of sexless dates before moving on. Even those of us who are interested in an LTR with marriage/family potential won’t st… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/21 08:06 PM |
| 1 | Knowing what you know now, what is your advice to single women trying to find an emotional connection with someone in this dating marketplace?Single man here. I would suggest they line up as many dates with men they think they’ll find attractive as possible, and try to dig deep in those conversations. If things “click,” be open to pursuing a sexual relationship with one (or more) of them at a reasonable pace. And if the sex “clicks,” be enthusiastic about subsequent dates. If it doesn’t, move on to the next man. If it does but he isn’t interested, move on to the next man. Basically: it’s a numbers game. Play to win. One alternative is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/21 06:29 PM |
| 1 | Does making one wait for sex actually help anyone? If yes, then how long?Not you. That was some self deprecation on my end. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/21 06:01 AM |
| 2 | Does making one wait for sex actually help anyone? If yes, then how long?I’m a heterosexual man, and I don’t think it helps. For one, if she’s going to weaponize sex like that, she’s not the right woman for me. For two, if we’re not having sex by the 5th or 6th date (because I don’t have great game/swag), even I cut her loose. Delaying sex (with me, at least) isn’t going to stop a “pump and dump.” If the sex is atrocious, I will dump immediately. (Has happened once) If the sex is mediocre, I’ll see whether it gets better after a few more times. And if it doesn’t, I’l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/21 10:55 PM |
| 2 | “I would never cheat”I think it’s also useless filler, but it’s just a bunch of virtue signaling. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/21 12:42 AM |
| 1 | Being 6 feet or taller is significantly overrated for menIn fairness, while it’s a specific number, it’s accuracy is questionable. That’s just my gut guesstimate. Which could be totally wrong. And is likely to vary across age groups, regions of the country, etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/21 11:14 PM |
| 6 | What do women gain from being married in this day and age?None of those tangible items require a marriage to obtain. But either the wage gap is real, and those tangible benefits exist, or the age gap isn’t real, and those tangible benefits don’t exist. Again, this totally discounts all the intangible benefits, which while more difficult to quantify, may very well be strongly palpable to some folks. There’s no right or wrong, in my opinion. Hell, as a high earning man, I’m very guarded with the notion of marriage. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/21 11:13 PM |
| 5 | What do women gain from being married in this day and age?Tangible stuff? Automatic addition as a beneficiary on a crapton of insurance products, access to potential better benefits, if she’s married x10yrs, she can claim social security retirement benefits based on my income (assuming it’s not bankrupt by then), etc. All the symbolic and “social currency” stuff has some merit as well. But if you want objective tangible benefits, that’s what I can think of off the top of my head. In fairness, those tangibles might be a lot less appealing for an “averag… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/21 10:55 PM |
| 7 | Being 6 feet or taller is significantly overrated for menThe 6 figure salary is hilarious. Those of us who command those salaries actively try to hide that fact and avoid the women who come off with that gold digger/materialistic vibe. Maybe I’m a more conservative high earner, but I like to earn a lot, spend somewhat conservatively, and save excessively. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/21 09:58 PM |
| 5 | Being 6 feet or taller is significantly overrated for menI don’t fully agree. 6ft is a nice round cutoff- it’s easy to think about, picture, describe, etc. Being a taller man, period, is not overrated at all. Whether you want to draw the line at 6’, 6’2”, or 5’11” is debatable. But being taller definitely confers advantages. Probably 10-20% of women’s dating profiles I see set height cutoffs. That’s automatically shrinking the pool of eligible matches in an already competitive endeavor. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/21 09:56 PM |
| 2 | CMV: When men picture a woman in their heads, they automatically assume she is attractive.Agreed 1000%. There’s a fine line between body positivity and fat acceptance. American society feels like it’s crossed into fat acceptance in some echo chambers. Gives me plenty of business in my line of work. But also it sucks when I have to tell some folks that they’re too heavy. And I have to do that so much more often nowadays than I did earlier in my training. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/21 09:51 PM |
| 1 | What onlyfans customers and sugar daddies have in common?I’ve got experience sugar dating. No experience with only fans though. The only parallel I see is that in both situation, men are willing to leverage their finances/status/money/etc for something they want. I have no fucking idea what anyone sees in only fans girls. Like… porn is free. And abundant. But identifying as a sugar daddy and engaging in sugar dating, for me, was very much like regular dating. Only the women were far younger, and they were more vocal about what they wanted. Some wanted… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/21 06:56 AM |
| – | Does dating through clubs, social activities, and Meetups actually work (as a man)?I’m navigating this myself. What I’ve taken to doing is to have dating profiles on all the platforms to keep my social schedule fairly busy. Sometimes it’ll be a few weeks between first dates. Other times I’ll have five simultaneous conversations and juggling the possibility of a new date every night of the week. But the point is: keep putting yourself out there so that you can meet women. The downside to this strategy is that eventually you realize that you have an empty friends network. So aft… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/21 06:47 AM |
| 1 | How Come Men Are Not Pushing For Plus Size Models? [Serious Question]Speaking for myself, plus sized models don’t showcase how shit fits on me. A shorter male model would more closely resemble my build. I’ll stop being obtuse though. I think we don’t give a shit about what male models look like because if we’re buying clothes, we’re buying into the image of the style. And there’s nothing particularly glamorous about a fat male model. On some level, we probably think that if we buy that blazer, the cut on it will hide our love handles and make our shoulders appear… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/21 06:38 AM |
| 1 | For women who want relationships, should they focus on succeeding in their careers or focus on their looks?I think both men and women should try to be well rounded in their professional and physical success. If you don’t meet some baseline beauty baseline, the folks you find attractive just isn’t going to notice you. And if you’re little more than a pretty body, those folks who you find attractive physically and emotionally/mentally won’t stick around. I suppose two beautiful people can bond over being attractive. But that seems fairly vapid, no? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/21 06:29 AM |
| 9 | Aside from single-parents-by-choice, why is it that there's so much hatred for single mothers but complete adoration for single fathers?I don’t think there’s a hatred for single mothers. Certainly I don’t intend to give off that sentiment. On the contrary, I think they live in a sad limbo state, and it’s a tough living. But as a single man navigating online dating, I have zero interest in dating a single mother. Hell I don’t have any interest in sleeping with one either. Mainly because after 1-2 times, she lays on the “where do you see this going” conversation, and I feel like an asshole telling her that I only see us being casu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/21 06:24 AM |
| 1 | SMP Vs RMP, Pickmeishas, and why men "value" intelligence and status in women for relationshipsMy point is that when one is in the top tiers, you quickly learn that you don’t have the luxury of dating “within your level” because there just aren’t as many folks in that part of the pool. Being dominant or submissive has nothing to do with who the breadwinner is. It has everything to do with your confidence and how you carry yourself. I have a respected career, earn a comfortable living, keep a tidy home, cook, stay in decent shape, etc. And yes, I have dominant tendencies in the bedroom. If… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/21 06:15 AM |
| 1 | SMP Vs RMP, Pickmeishas, and why men "value" intelligence and status in women for relationshipsI don’t fully disagree. On the face of it, I think you characterize dual mating strategy fairly well. I’ll date women casually while I hold out for one I want to date seriously. Where I strongly disagree is the premise that we shy away from women whose status dwarfs our own. I’m a pretty fit, generally well-adjusted, mid-30s divorced physician pulling a healthy salary in a job that I love. I can’t afford to only seriously consider women on my professional level. On income alone, that’s the top 1… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/06/21 12:46 PM |
| 29 | "Ugly" men are just not putting enough effort while having very high expectations.I don’t fully agree. I think some “ugly” or otherwise unsuccessful men put little effort into their appearance and demand women out of their league. But I think these men are more the exception than the rule. At some point after repeated failure, most rationally behaving people will assess the situation and make changes to hopefully change their outcomes. And for men/dating, it doesn’t take much effort to stumble on red pill (which often focuses on lifting, buying clothes that fit, as well as ho… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/06/21 12:25 PM |
| 1 | CMV: if you're "divorce raped" it's your own fault.I’m not averse to a second marriage altogether but I think that entering one strategically is wise. If you know the cards are stacked against you, but it’s something you desire (in my case, I’d like to start a family), then my options are to either let go of that desire or be smart about a second marriage. For my part, I choose the latter. If I don’t meet wife material in the next year or two, then I won’t be willing to remarry. But I’m not going to shut that door when I’m still young enough to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/21 11:02 AM |
| 1 | CMV: if you're "divorce raped" it's your own fault.Can’t say that I fully disagree. One way to avoid divorce rape is to work on the marriage and not get divorced. This is about as valid as not getting married to begin with. But some of us enter marriage with rose colored eyeglasses, a few yrs out of college perhaps. You can be confident that the match is great, but there’s no way to be certain whose career will take off, or whether the marriage will last. I don’t think it’s necessarily the fault of either party at that point. You’re young, in lo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/21 09:00 PM |
| 3 | Q4Men: what percentage of men do you think have “anger or addiction issues” (excluding porn)?I think less than 10% of men have issues severe enough to be pathological. Much more than that, and we’d have a hugely dysfunctional society. None of the men in my circle of colleagues raise suspicion for these concerns. 2 men out of the 30 or so men on my freshman floor did. I do think that as people pair up and exit the dating market, men with pathological problems become overrepresented. But I also think that women have a tendency to gravitate towards those men because there’s a certain appea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/21 05:59 PM |
| – | I get the girls I don't want / I don't get the girls I wantI don’t think most guys (at the very least, enough guys) practice intentional swiping. A colleague of mine had a picture of a sunset on her tinder profile and next to no text. She too had hundreds of options within 48hr of letting her profile go live. The only explanation is that our fellow men are far thirstier than we give them credit for. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/21 04:06 AM |
| 7 | Men who have higher standarts, are more attractiveI would argue that the truth is more along the line of “men who are highly desirable on the dating market can afford to have higher standards, and frequently do.” If you’re striking out over and over (I have before), it wears on you and your confidence. It makes you question whether you’re as hot shit as you thought you were. At some point, it’s easy to fall in the trap of settling for anyone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/21 08:46 PM |
| – | I get the girls I don't want / I don't get the girls I wantDuh. If you’re her “reach,” she’ll try hard/you won’t . If she’s your “reach,” you’ll try hard/she won’t. This happened when I first started online dating. I learned to be much more selective on who I’m willing to swipe right on. Now I only match with women who are matches/reaches. I prefer this to having to string along a woman I’m not “fuck yes” about. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/21 08:41 PM |
| 14 | Post from RedPillWomen- what the eff has happened to men these days? DiscussionOne month? I would hazard a guess that the vast majority of men are addicted to porn by your standard. Like most men, I watch porn to masturbate. And I assure you that of the men who have functional libidos, we masturbate far more often than once a month. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/21 08:38 PM |
| 2 | Are Sugar Daddies considered Winners or Losers?Having participated in this style of arrangement before, I’d argue that we’re neutral. Or at least I am. Basically, I can date age appropriate women of a certain caliber without revealing my profession (at least not at first) or spending much other than dinner/etc. It takes a while to cut through the chat, lots of dead ends before a first date, and probably a few first dates before I have sex with anyone. Kind of laborious, but definitely doable. Alternatively, I can hop online and secure a firs… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/21 08:23 PM |
| 9 | Post from RedPillWomen- what the eff has happened to men these days? DiscussionIf I’m dating someone and we’re sexually active often enough, porn goes by the wayside. But if more than a few days passes, it stays on the menu, for me. What one person feels is an addiction or perving may be unremarkable to the next. I could see women being divided on whether my behavior constitutes an addiction vs normal behavior. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/21 07:49 PM |
| 1 | For men, it's not that hard to be above-average -> extraordinary, most men are just lazy.Being above average doesn’t get you consistent dates. 5’7”, 145 lbs, so BMI ~ 22ish, 31” waist, upper 200s salary, MD. In fairness, I don’t often broadcast my degree/profession on dating apps unless I’m amidst a dry spell. I suspect the biggest liabilities I have are height and being an Asian guy in the Midwest. Typically can have 1-2 matches within a month of going live on a dating app, of which maybe 1 might materialize into a first date. Probably takes 5 or so first dates for anything to evol… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/21 05:10 PM |
| 19 | Men in their 30s look better than women in their 30sI would argue that this is highly variable. All those signs of aging are primarily skin related, and they’re largely driven by sun exposure. While women tend to be more likely to go tanning, that’s only a subset of women. And plenty of men work on construction/etc, where they get lots of sun exposure anyway. And this is coming from a mid-30s man who could probably pass for mid-20s in a pinch. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/21 12:09 AM |
| 1 | Is the primary sexual attractiveness for a woman literally "Dont be fat"?Heard of the term. Just never saw a woman for whom it is apt. Maybe I’m more forgiving of facial structure (or whatever other nonsense) than most other men. Agree that any face on a fit body is worlds more attractive than a cute face on a fat body. For me, at least. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/21 08:16 PM |
| 1 | Prostitution - Nordic modelDon’t know that it’s specifically to take men’s power away. But it is a strong appeal to some arbitrary moral standard, and few (if any) politicians are willing to publicly support legalization of prostitution. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/21 05:29 PM |
| 1 | I don't believe that a beta uprising will happen, instead, a beta downrisingDifferent people react differently to stress and failure. Some will withdraw into themselves. Others will lash out. Some may organize and “riot.” Still others may organize and try to effect change from within (or without). There won’t be a mass anything. At least I don’t feel strongly enough to bet on it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/21 05:16 PM |
| 1 | "Admitting" sexlessness or "dating privileges" are a problem or that they exist, or empathy about it, won't change the facts in any way. So why does it matter?Admitting there’s a pay gap, for example, doesn’t change the facts either. The first step to fixing something is to acknowledge there’s a problem. I won’t pretend to have a solution, but that doesn’t mean a problem can’t be discussed. In many cases, validating that there’s a problem can help those who are hurt. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/21 04:42 PM |
| 4 | Discussion: Standards?I’d think that an “equal reach” is ideal. That way you’re both trying to improve lock step vs stagnating lock step. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/21 02:42 PM |
| – | Sex, dating, relationships, and "selling our souls"Stereotypical man-child. As in living in parents basement, can’t hold down a job, video games and beer all day, rather slovenly. That doesn’t strike me as a good look for anyone. Men just doing what they find enjoyable, provided they’re well-adjusted adults, is a totally separate matter. Living on your own, steady job, even with video games as your primary hobby is fine. Just as long as you recognize that women who want a guy who’s passionate about video games are fairly rare. The corollary is t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/21 07:12 AM |
| 2 | What is the long-term goal of FDS? (Speculate)I suppose they’re looking for someone who “beta bucks,” so to speak. I’m sure such men exist. But I’d imagine they’re a smaller subset of the men who have “bucks” to begin with. The traits needed to have that level of career/financial success don’t overlap well with “beta” traits. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/21 04:57 AM |
| – | Sex, dating, relationships, and "selling our souls"Perhaps. But basic stuff like wearing clothes that fit, being somewhat healthy, and having interests other than polygons seems like… adulting 101. If guys out there are happy living the man-child life, great. But they can’t justifiably lament that they can’t find women who want to date man-childs. Just as the contingent of angry jaded women on FDS can’t justifiably complain about not being able to find a “high value man.” We don’t need to accept that kind of bitterness/negativity in our lives. I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/21 04:51 AM |
| 1 | [CMV] Women, not men, for the most part are also the gatekeepers of relationships, not just sex.Women choose to date the guys they find hot enough to fuck. If they have sex and it’s enjoyable, they’ll continue to do so. Do it enough, and you have the beginning of a relationship. But if that relationship is to evolve into its “ultimate” stage of marriage, the man has to like her enough to propose. I suppose the woman could also propose to the man, but social norms make this situation a novelty. That’s my understanding of the gatekeeper scenario. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/21 04:44 AM |
| 5 | Discussion: Standards?I’m with OP. I think ideally, each partner would feel like the other person is a bit of a “reach” for them. So they’d be inclined to keep improving themselves, and by extension, each other. In a healthy relationship, at least. I’m not going to settle for being someone’s backup plan. Nor will I accept settling. And if that means I end up alone, so be it. In many ways, I think that this attitude is partly why I seem to have a decent match rate despite all of my obstacles. I am confident in myself … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/21 04:38 AM |
| 9 | How important is sexual attraction really? 🤔Sexual attraction is hugely important for getting a relationship off the ground. After you’ve got a good thing going, you’ll have created enough memories together that the emotional bond you forge can make you both quite forgiving of some loss of sexual attraction. But if that sexual attraction totally goes (ie: dead bedroom), that relationship is DOA. Few wounds cut deeper than being physically rejected by your partner. Repeatedly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/21 04:30 AM |
| – | Sex, dating, relationships, and "selling our souls"There’s a lot to be said for staying true to yourself. I don’t do much differently to attract a woman. I suppose I might lift less than I do (which isn’t much to begin with). But just being generally fit is good for my health. And knowing that I can have sex for extended periods of time without getting winded is a good thing, too. I am open about my solitary hobbies. And frankly women tend to be excited about my hobbies. I’m basically a physician who likes to play handyman or chef in my free tim… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/21 04:23 AM |
| 1 | Women, what is the extent to which height matters on a man?I’m not arguing that it’s not rough. But a 250k salary penalty to be dateable/relationship worthy? Doubtful. Unless I’m unknowingly an ultra handsome guy. I figure I’m somewhere on the order of a 5-6/10. Maybe a 7 with the right outfit, camera angle, and lighting conditions. I stay somewhat fit and I lift, but I’m not toned, ripped, or swole. I look like a scrawny Asian doctor. Because that’s what I am. Usually the women I match with might learn that I work in healthcare or science for the first… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/21 05:43 AM |
| 1 | Women, what is the extent to which height matters on a man?That’s a huge fucking penalty. It could be true though. I do ok but not great insofar as dating. Maybe if I started to focus on breaking 3-400k, things would change… Nah, they wouldn’t. I don’t disclose my income to anyone. I think looks are still king. And there’s a real looks penalty against Asian men. It’s not insurmountable though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/21 12:42 AM |
| 1 | Discussion/debate: Why do men become beta orbiters?Don’t think I’ve ever become an orbiter. But if someone is hot and wants to friendzone me, I might play along for a bit. Either a hot friend notices me, or a hot friend of a friend notices me. If nothing pans out, I’d just as soon cut my losses. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/21 12:34 AM |
| 5 | Most single mothers would rather marry a single childless man than a single father. The opposite is untrue. I think these are the reasons that justifies why single childless men should not marry single mothers...Single childless man here. I won’t date much less marry a single mother. 1) the kid(s) will always come first. I won’t “compete” for attention if I don’t have to. 2) if the kids don’t come first, I don’t think I’d want to associate with her anyway 3) they’re not my biological kids. If I have kids, they’ll have the option of going to college/grad school, and I will happily pay for them to pursue that education. I can’t happily pay for some other man’s kids. This is an upwards of 2-300k investment… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/21 12:23 AM |
| 9 | What is the long-term goal of FDS? (Speculate)No clue what percentile I am nowadays, but I agree that the high earning men around me don’t put up with bullshit. Even if an FDSer were extremely attractive, the most I’d be willing to do is see her casually. The attitudes on FDS are far too toxic for my taste. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/21 12:15 AM |
| 2 | Trust fund socialites and low-income welfare recipients are the worst socio-economic demographics to date.Trust fund socialites can be fun. Their constant need to find purpose in a life of leisure gets old fast though. Upside is that I was fairly confident that they’re wealthier than me. Downside is that if you dump one the “wrong” way, you become undateable. And that crowd is small. I didn’t give a shit because I was planning to move away anyway, but I digress. My point is, they’re fun while they last. And usually the cocaine habit keeps them fit. Low income welfare recipients, I would agree with y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/21 11:51 PM |
| 26 | The only men getting consistent action are men with no/ loose standards1) I’m not a redpiller 2) I’ve dated and had sex with single mothers and a fat women - they’re now an automatic next based on my personal experience 3) one persons “standards” by definition excludes categories of others on various criteria. Those are mine. And if they’re shared by all of TRP, then perhaps I have that in common with TRP philosophy. I’m not going to feel bad about it. Hell, I’m sure that plenty of women pass on me on the grounds of height, ethnicity, etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/21 08:00 PM |
| 1 | What would you choose to do or not do if there were no gender roles? How would your life be different and how would it be the same?I wouldn’t change much about myself. Maybe I’d drive a mini instead of an SUV. As it stands, I already defy gender roles in my utter distaste for all spectator sports. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/21 07:46 PM |
| 1 | Male desire objectifies, female desire personifiesI think both male and female desires objectify, particularly in the world of online dating. Few people take the time to read a profile. It’s 99% about “is the person in these pictures hot?” | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/21 07:41 PM |
| 3 | CMV: FDS and TRP's goals are similar in that each of them tries to prevent running into the otherI can’t stand the toxic shit in either FDS or TRP for more than a handful of threads a week. So it’s possible that my understanding of them is inaccurate. My takeaway is that FDS is about finding a rich/wealthy man who still “puts the pussy on a pedestal,” so to speak. Perhaps a “simp,” in today’s Internet slang. And my takeaway from TRP is work on your masculinity so that you can get laid- those women are little more than breathing fleshlights. I wouldn’t necessarily call them polar opposites, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/21 07:38 PM |
| 21 | The only men getting consistent action are men with no/ loose standardsDepends on how you define “no/loose.” I get somewhat consistent action (prepandemic, of course. Though admittedly my dating app activity is heating up this summer.) I have standards. Single mothers, smokers, women who appear fat… I pass on all of them. I’ve learned that single mothers get clingy when they learn about my career (and ostensibly what I can materially “provide”). That makes even good casual sex with them not worth the headache. I’ve been with a fat woman once. I had to fake an orgas… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/21 07:30 PM |
| 5 | Do you feel burdened by the protector/provider gender role and the social expectation to embody it?I don’t feel burdened by the provider role. But my income is also a healthy margin north of 200k/yr. I also don’t feel burdened by the protector role- I don’t live or really go anywhere that makes me feel remotely unsafe. In a semi-functional modern society, being a “protector” seems silly. Sure, I lift. But that’s to get stronger for me. I don’t know the first thing about self defense/combat/etc, and I don’t have an interest in learning it. So I won’t. I do, however, think that men who haven’t … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/21 07:19 PM |
| 2 | The notion of « gold digging » is none sense.A man’s nature is something he dictates. It isn’t something a random Reddit user dictates. A given woman can take it or leave it. Just as a given man can take it or leave it. If I’m looking for a woman to provide sex, and I’m ready to provide money, I’m not trying to date a woman- I’m trying to find a prostitute. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 11:51 AM |
| 2 | The notion of « gold digging » is none sense.There’s nothing wrong with wanting a rich/wealthy man who wants to spend his money on you. The thing is, very few of us are born into that wealth - we’ve earned it. And in so doing, we’ve learned to spot women who see us as little more than walking ATMs. I’ll have casual sex with such women, but I’ll be damn sure to do everything in my power to not knock her up in the process. It’s no different than hot women wanting to be wanted for more than their bodies. Both parties in a healthy relationship… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/21 03:23 AM |
| 1 | What are your thoughts on the phrase “rejection is better than regret?”I think it makes sense. Like everyone else, I’ve got a healthy fear of rejection. But I’ll go out on a limb from time to time. Being paralyzed by fear of rejection is no way to live. Besides, every now and then, she’s into me way more than I would have thought. None of us knows how much another person truly finds us attractive until we ask. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 04:52 PM |
| 1 | Men - would you be satisfied with a lifetime N=1 if she was N=1 as well?I absolutely think that two virgins can hit things off when they’re young and grow their relationship with each other as well as their relationship with sex throughout a lifetime together. But I also recognize that this scenario is relatively rare. All I’m saying is that I am one anecdote for which I would’ve been willing (and interested) in such a story. But that ship has long since sailed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/21 05:56 AM |
| 1 | Why do single moms raise your hackles? Do you think single dads should be relationship pariahs too?Bear in mind, I’m a single unencumbered man. Single moms are a dealbreaker because I don’t want to compete with her kid for her attention. So I simply exclude single mothers as relationship material. Casual dating? Sure. I’ve had a single mom FWB before. It was great, but we both knew that nothing more would come of it. I think single dads are just as radioactive as single moms with respect to dating. Women just don’t point it out because they’re too busy replying to the single unencumbered men … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 10:42 PM |
| 2 | Seems like men are wanting a woman with a low N count who will sleep with him on the second date...wait, what?Obviously I don’t speak for all men. But I want a woman who is so attracted to me that she wants to jump my bones as much as I want to jump hers. And I (basically) don’t give a shit about n count. As long as she’s south of 50~100 or so, we’re good. Hell, I’m sitting in my 10~20s, depending on how you count things. What I do agree with is that I won’t keep dating a woman for long if we’re not beginning to have sex. For me, this isn’t about the cost of dating. Although I would hazard a guess that … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 10:37 PM |
| 2 | Men - would you be satisfied with a lifetime N=1 if she was N=1 as well?I would have been happy if she were open minded about exploring sexual kinks and such. N count is a bizarre metric that folks on TRP/PPD and all the other Reddit subs obsess about. I don’t give a shit what a woman’s n count is, so long as the sex we have is good, sustainably frequent, and that she is faithful to me. I also maintain that everyone needs a certain n count to be able to confidently know what they like/don’t like in bed. If the question you’re trying to ask is: can a man be monogamou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 10:28 PM |
| 7 | Debate: Divorced parents are NOT single parents.I’m a man. I don’t care whether a woman is divorced with kids, never married with kids, or widowed with kids. The fact is that she’s got kids. That’s the dealbreaker. For all intents and purposes, all of those women are mothers, and all of them are single. Herego, single mothers. That said, in the “hierarchy” of single mothers, I suppose a widowed single mother is an edge case that I might consider dating. But realistically, I don’t want to compete with her kids for attention/affection. I suspec… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 10:10 PM |
| 1 | To those of you who support traditional roles in a relationship, would you date a woman who makes it clear that she's looking for a man with a good income so she can stay home?I don’t have any strong feelings on traditional single income households vs dual income households vs working mother/stay at home dads. That said, I do earn enough to comfortably raise a family on my income alone in the Midwest. I could probably do so in the coastal suburbs as well, but things would be less comfortable. I’m south of 500k/yr though, so I don’t think I could do it in Manhattan, downtown Chicago, SF, etc. That said, I have no problems with dating a woman with no professional aspira… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 12:17 AM |
| 2 | Q4M: For men who believe your looks are the primary reason you struggle with women, please describe your physical looks?I’d hazard a guess that I’m sitting around a 5/10. It’s a toss up between being an Asian-American in the Midwest vs being 5’6”-ish that kills my match rate, I think. I’m HWP, but that means that my chest is like 36-38”, my waist is something like 29-30”, I weigh 145lbs, etc. I just have a smaller “frame.” The emasculating portrayals of Asian men in pop culture is also not helping my case any. Otherwise I have a decent smile with straight/white teeth, a full head of hair, a solid career, and reas… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 11:58 PM |
| 2 | Do you feel bad for only having sex with a girl who clearly wants commitment from you?If she never asks and we never have the conversation, I’m not going to rock the boat. But if the topic does come up and she makes it clear that she wants commitment, I’ll have to put my money where my mouth is and tell her the truth. It’s awkward (and downright terrifying) the first few times to tell a girl you don’t see anything long term between you. But after the 3rd or 4th time, you begin to appreciate that it’s kind of liberating too. So no, I don’t feel bad. I still go on dates with those … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 11:42 PM |
| 3 | Body positivity does far more harm than good.Hit the nail on the head. Fat acceptance is fucking absurd. On some level, modern society needs a low level fat shaming mechanism to encourage people to watch what they eat, get off their asses, exercise, and generally be a bit healthier than they are. On the other hand, if people started doing that en masse, I might not have as busy a practice. So have at it, America. Get fat to your heart’s content. My livelihood depends on it! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 11:33 PM |
| 1 | Women shouldn't expect to be paid for on the first few datesWhat you’re talking about is an ideal situation. Sure, if you want to debate about how things ought to be in an ideal world, I’d agree with you. But the real world is far from ideal, and less than fair. I’ll agree that it seems unfair/obnoxious that women seem to have all the control and need not expend much effort in the early stages of dating. Paying to cover the cost of a date- be it drinks, dinner, an evening at a festival, etc- isn’t something I feel more or less compelled to do based on th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 11:27 PM |
| – | You need to stop writing off women 30 and over!Probably. It was probably a 50-100k difference to me at the time. Definitely noticeable, but not going to break the bank by any stretch of the imagination. Probably on the lower end of folks in my profession too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 05:49 PM |
| 2 | You need to stop writing off women 30 and over!I don’t get the impression that we write off women in their 30s. For me, I’m willing to casually date north of 35. But I won’t consider her marriage material. But as you alluded to, I’m a fan of the idea of a wife/kids dynamic. If I can’t find that in this life, I don’t see the point in getting married again. It’s potentially a large expense, she’s not going to bear my children, and even with a prenup in place, I still worry about the financial hit in a potential divorce. Not to mention, if my h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/21 07:13 AM |
| 1 | CMV: The best option for would-be Beta Bux men is IVF/surrogacy, not sugar-daddyingMaybe I’m fortunate, but I have nieces and nephews that are pretty awesome. If I don’t have kids, I’m not likely to be able to spend my retirement savings with my relatively modest lifestyle. I figure my nieces and nephews will have at least their college paid off by me. Whether I create trusts for them vs my alma mater is up in the air though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/21 02:33 PM |
| 8 | CMV: The best option for would-be Beta Bux men is IVF/surrogacy, not sugar-daddyingI figure either I’ll meet someone I want to date more seriously, or I won’t. Sugar dating is a backup plan for when I have long dry spells, or if I realize there’s an itch I want to scratch that I’m not likely to find by more conventional means. Like dating an active cheerleader, for example. My endgame is to live a fulfilling life, much like everyone else’s endgame. I don’t need a wife and kids to be fulfilled, but I also believe that if I met the right wife and start a family with her, that wo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/21 02:25 PM |
| 14 | CMV: The best option for would-be Beta Bux men is IVF/surrogacy, not sugar-daddyingI can tell you from experience: when I sugar date, it’s specifically to date a much younger and attractive woman than I would match with on conventional dating apps. I get laid, go on dates that revolve around my schedule, etc. I’m not worried about loneliness in old age because I still socialize and have friends for that. I sure as shit won’t look at my potential kids to solve loneliness. Worst case: a dog is perfect for loneliness. Becoming a single dad by surrogacy is something I could easily… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/21 01:44 PM |
| 1 | How exactly does career/wealth play into SMV?Unless women start to actually scrutinize men’s dating profiles en masse, and men start to actually complete their profiles honestly/completely, en masse, I don’t think career/wealth have much bearing on casual sex. At least not casual sex mediated by online dating apps. Pretty much every app I’ve been on has migrated to a swipe mechanism. So if a person’s pic game is shit, their sexual success rate will reflect that. That said, some women do read profiles. I’ve experimented with including and e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/21 04:03 AM |
| 1 | Are men in the aggregate putting less effort into themselves, into dating, into career, into life, etc. than they used to? If so, what might be causing it?If single women outearn single men, there’d have to be a substantial disparity in married men vs women to account for the reported age gap. Women outpace men in education because, I suspect, women are more inclined to tolerate a steady grind instead of chasing after dreams (high risk-high reward behavior). I don’t think women outpace men in career/earnings though. But I could be am very likely biased. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/21 11:48 PM |
| 1 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)Maybe I’m too principled in the matter. If I want to leverage my status/income/etc in dating, I might as well go the sugar baby route and date some hot college girl for whatever allowance. But if I’m looking for an early 30s/late 20s woman for a relationship (which might evolve into marriage potential), I want her to be drawn to me as a man, first and foremost. The fact that I’m a physician can be a bonus factor. But I want to know that I am enough and that I am more than a doctor. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 02:17 PM |
| 1 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)Well perhaps my philosophy is broken. I won’t consider LTR/marriage without casually dating each other first. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 02:12 PM |
| 2 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)I think most people want to be wanted for “being me” as opposed to “being a doctor,” “being a model,” etc. Taken to an extreme, if I’m going to have to peacock my professional status to get women at all, I don’t think I’d be willing to put serious commitment on the table without a prenup. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 02:10 PM |
| 1 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)I’ve experimented with this on OKC, Bumble, Tinder, and CMB. With my profession listed, my match demographic is not higher quality, but simply higher quantity. To your credit, I have not tried it on hinge. League, match, and eharmony are ones that I’ve never experimented with- I’ve only ever had it fully listed on those apps. But there don’t seem to be many folks on those locally, so my sampling with those apps is probably skewed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 02:02 PM |
| 26 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)I’m not saying that status doesn’t matter, but I would argue that status takes the back burner to looks. Particularly in online dating. Yes, if I list my profession, I get more matches than if I don’t. But I would think that a mid-30s normal BMI physician would be more desirable than I typically experience. Perhaps my perception of my “looksmatch” is horribly off- that’s debatable. But the times I’ve paid to reveal my matches, I find the vast majority of them unattractive. Like morbidly obese is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 12:45 AM |
| 1 | Is the primary sexual attractiveness for a woman literally "Dont be fat"?I did it once. Would not recommend. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 02:00 AM |
| 1 | MGTOW and Red Pill should only be followed by men who have totally failed at the dating market.I don’t completely disagree, but I definitely don’t agree. I think men who have totally failed at dating may find happiness and peace if they can embrace a “pure” MGTOW. As in, truly stop chasing women and stop giving a shit about sex. But that’s a big if. And I would imagine it would be incredibly difficult for most men younger than say, 30. Simply because of rip roaring hormones and general virility. For the men who are frustrated with a relatively abysmal online dating experience, TRP offers … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/21 03:11 AM |
| 3 | Is the primary sexual attractiveness for a woman literally "Dont be fat"?In the Midwest, I would agree. Just by virtue of being remotely fit, a woman’s attractiveness is head and shoulders above a fat woman. An unfortunate face on a fit body is probably more attractive overall than a cute face on a fat body. I say this with the caveat that I’ve never seen a face I would call ugly on a fit body. But I’ve seen plenty of ugly faces attached to fat bodies. Just my opinion, of course. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/21 02:58 AM |
| 1 | Q4M: do men have “protective” instincts to the average woman?I wouldn’t be as harsh as you. But I can see where you’re coming from. If I feel that a random woman/kids are some other man’s responsibility (or at least should be some other man’s responsibility), I won’t interject. But if I think someone could one day become my responsibility, then I will. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/21 02:05 AM |
| 1 | Q4M: do men have “protective” instincts to the average woman?The average woman? No. Any woman in my peripheral social network? Yes, there’s an existing connection, however faint. Any woman I find moderately attractive? Yes, because maybe this will be our “how we met” story, and I’m sappy like that. Any woman who appears young/naive (think high school aged)? Yes, because it’s the right thing to do. Any woman who is elderly/frail? Yes, because it’s the right thing to do. All other women? (So basically adult strangers who I don’t find cute) No. I’m not going… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/21 02:02 AM |
| 2 | The biggest dating issue for men is wanting things to be simple and not accepting complexity.What on earth are you smoking? Women are by definition involved in heterosexual dating dynamics. No party’s actions occur in a vacuum. You can claim relative disparity in participation, but the fact remains that if there aren’t women on dating apps, men wouldn’t be on them either. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 05:05 PM |
| 2 | Why do men fuck & date obese women if they're their last choice?Fuck if I know. I had sex with an overweight (probably medically obese) woman once. Best BJ ever. Worst sex ever. Would not recommend. Will not repeat. Even at my horniest, I will not swipe right on a fat woman again. The memory of faking an orgasm so that I could stop is still a little scarring. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 03:48 AM |
| 3 | The biggest dating issue for men is wanting things to be simple and not accepting complexity.It takes two to tango. I would argue that online dating has become the predominant means by which people meet and date one another in the US after college. So we can choose to participate or we can choose to not date. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/21 10:11 PM |
| 5 | The biggest dating issue for men is wanting things to be simple and not accepting complexity.We want things to be simple because we are aware of the disparity in online dating experiences between men and women. It makes no sense that women get overwhelmed with an abundance of choice while most men get crickets despite sending thoughtful messages/etc. Since OLD has devolved into swipe culture, the rational conclusion is that pics matter. A whole fucking lot. And pics show either looks or lifestyle. That’s pretty simple, and not very complex at all. So if what it takes to get “your foot i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/21 03:35 PM |
| 6 | Dating over 30+I’m in my mid-30s, and I have no qualms dating down to mid-20s. 23 is pushing it for me, personally. You can have a lot in common with someone irrespective of age. And you can have nothing in common with someone who is your age as well. As far as using someone for sex, well, it works both ways. Who is any of us to judge what works between a couple? I’m not saying the possibilities you offer aren’t valid. I’m saying that there are other perfectly valid possibilities. For me, a single mom is a rel… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/21 04:13 AM |
| 2 | Woke college educated women should date down men in terms of income and status.I think OP is onto something here. If you want to be a social justice warrior and view equality as “having an equal starting point” vs “having equal opportunities” (or however it’s now phrased), then you should put your money where your mouth is and date independent of potential partners success. You know, be the change you want to see in the world. On the other hand, as you describe it, we live in the real world. It’s a capitalist society, and money/status/etc just makes life so much nicer. Suc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/21 03:59 AM |
| 1 | Sex just isnt worth as much as some of you think it isI’m not going to look for a relationship without sex. If I were happy with that, I wouldn’t have gotten divorced. We fixate (well at least I fixate) on sex because after I’ve had sex with someone a few times, I know if we’re sexually compatible enough to seriously consider a serious relationship. And by that point, we’ve gone on enough dates that I know most of our “big picture” goals are in alignment, so it’s a matter of teasing out the details. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/21 04:01 AM |
| 1 | How should men communicate financial independence/success to women without being relegated to the "provider" role?I don’t explicitly try to communicate my financial health, but some of the things I do likely give women I date some insight into that. Depending on my dating prospects, I sometimes list my occupation in my dating profiles. Physicians are generally high earners with high student debt loads into their early 40s, but most people just assume we are high earners. Oftentimes we get to the topic of cooking/groceries. I’m very transparent about shopping at everything between Walmart and Whole Foods/bou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/05/21 03:32 PM |
| 3 | For both genders, in terms of who you want to go on a first date with, physical attractiveness is most important, and if personality matters, it is only among those who are already attractive enoughWell put. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/21 03:47 AM |
| 3 | Most women want something serious once they are above 30 while men want nothing serious when above 30. Why?I’m a mid-30s man. I am open to something serious with a late 20s/very early-30s woman. Any older than that, and I’m not interested in anything more than casual. For me, this comes down to kids. I would like to have kids, but it’s not a huge life goal of mine. I’m only willing to have kids in the context of a marriage. And I’m only going to consider marriage with a younger woman specifically because I don’t want to needlessly take higher risks on having a special needs child with an older woman.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/21 04:38 AM |
| 1 | Is the number of single older men going to increase?what are the implications?I’m probably in your demographic. I’m mid-30s, divorced a couple of years ago, without kids, earning more than the VP Harris. Pretty fit but not ripped. Decent looking by my estimates. Honestly, I don’t think we’re causing a problem. There just aren’t many people in similar situations. Of course, this depends on where you want to draw the line with respect to income. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/21 04:30 AM |
| 17 | Divorce rape and other horror stories are men who decide to marry party sluts ' own fault.I think his point is that of those matches, the likelihood that there’s a viable candidate is high provided she also swipes on men who are more than simply hot. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/05/21 12:27 PM |
| 2 | 1 in 4 Millennials will have never married by old age because they "haven't found what they are looking for"Your premise is that non-marriage is a problem. I counter that it is not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/21 10:30 PM |
| 1 | High SMV men who plan to marry, do you plan to marry into a higher family class or better life?Totally ok. I’m a physician, so it’s rare to come across a single woman who is my peer, let alone superior in terms of financial/career. It’d be nice to have an annual HHI > 600k, taxes be damned. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/21 10:29 PM |
| 1 | Sex and dating will become a luxury in the future because of sex robotsWell by most popular belief (which I believe to be true enough), if the top 20% (choose a percentage) of men are the ones circulating as the most matched, losing the bottom half isn’t going to do much since they’re not really active participants in the dating scene anyway. Besides, most people will have to choose to either have a VR sex robot contraption or not. Let’s face it: that apparatus, unless it’s somehow easily stowed away, is likely to be instant cockblock material. I have the financial… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/21 10:27 PM |
| 1 | How many divorces is too many?No exceptions. If I’m in it for the long haul with a woman, I want to have the freedom to travel a little bit before starting a family. The notion of not paying for some other man’s child’s education is also not lost on me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/21 10:19 PM |
| 2 | 1 in 4 Millennials will have never married by old age because they "haven't found what they are looking for"What’s the problem here? Marriage isn’t for everyone. Same as how college isn’t for everyone. Times change, values change. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/21 09:21 PM |
| 1 | High SMV men who plan to marry, do you plan to marry into a higher family class or better life?Debatable whether I’m high SMV. Happy with my current physique though it’d be nice to trim 2-3% off my body fat. Unlikely I’ll ever be able to really bulk up due to genetics and erratic eating habits. More than likely make more than most on this sub. Have married, now divorced. Open to remarrying. Frankly, I don’t really factor in “class.” I grew up MC/UMC with some relatives that were clearly UC and some that were more LMC. My income puts me anywhere between UMC/UC depending on the part of the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/21 09:08 PM |
| 8 | Sex and dating will become a luxury in the future because of sex robotsPeople are still going to find relationships, have sex with each other, make babies, etc. The only difference is that the incel crowd will have a sexual outlet and can exit the dating space. In theory, if they did that, the remaining men may have an easier go at finding LTRs. In practice, I think incels would still bitch about being passed over for xyz. Hell, I do ok in dating/sex, and I bitch about being passed over. Until guys are drowning in sexual options, they’ll find something to bitch abo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/21 10:22 AM |
| 5 | How many divorces is too many?Divorced man here. I agree that I think people generally accept liabilities in others if they share the same (or have comparable ones). I’m divorced and without kids. Single moms are a hard pass for me. Divorced women? Game on. There may be an inflection point for some folks where, for example, someone young/attractive/intelligent enough might be ok despite being a single mother of one. Certainly that’s not the case for me, but I could see how other men nay feel differently. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/21 03:41 PM |
| 3 | What is a marriage breaker for men vs. women?Kid disagreements would be a dealbreaker for me. I’ll take the leap of faith in marriage if we’re going to start a family. But if we’re not doing that, I don’t see why I should put marriage on the table. Having gone through a divorce once, I really don’t want to chance jeopardizing my financial health unless there’s a damn good reason | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/21 03:36 PM |
| 1 | How is not wanting to date an unemployed man any different than men not wanting to date a fat woman?Ding ding ding | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/21 03:38 PM |
| 12 | How is not wanting to date an unemployed man any different than men not wanting to date a fat woman?Just wanted to say, money doesn’t automatically make you do well in online dating. Even if I publicize my profession, I might get 3-4 of matches per month, which might convert into 1-2 first dates per month. All it does for me, as a man, is make me very guarded against who I will date/hook up with. I’d kill to be a couple inches taller or to be Caucasian. I’m fairly confident that either scenario would improve my match rate dramatically. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/21 10:03 PM |
| 3 | How is not wanting to date an unemployed man any different than men not wanting to date a fat woman?I’d say the more apt comparison is between not wanting to date a fat man vs not wanting to date a fat woman. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Even if the “picky” dater is fat him/herself. It might be a little hypocritical (and unrealistic), but that’s a different topic. To your other question- what’s wrong with women wanting to date men with stable finances- I don’t see a problem with that either. I think it’s hypocritical (and unrealistic) for a woman pulling 30-80k/yr to expect a man pulli… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/21 09:58 PM |
| 3 | Do you think it's fair to say that a lot of the issues faced in dating would be solved if men had a lower sex drive or women had a higher one?I’m inclined to agree with your assessment of this thought experiment. Were it not for my sex drive, I’d just as soon socialize with my friends, dive headfirst into my hobbies, and continue to grow my practice. I’d just quit trying to date because the time spent swiping, chatting, planning dates, etc is not particularly enjoyable. I only do those things for the off chance that I’ll meet someone with whom there’s enough chemistry to start hooking up. And if we like each other’s company and contin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/21 02:30 AM |
| 1 | Why do people care about hypergamy so much?Yep. Few things cut as deep as being lonely despite sleeping next to your spouse. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/21 10:09 PM |
| 8 | How fat is too fat?I’m 5’7” and weigh 145lbs. Too fat for me is probably a BMI over 23-ish. For the example body collage posted in one of the replies, curvy and average are my ideal. “Chubby” is actually fairly attractive. But there’s at least 30-40 lbs between “chubby” and “fat” in that collage. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/21 05:14 AM |
| 2 | Why do people care about hypergamy so much?Knocked all except sexual compatibility out of the park. We were (or at least became) completely incompatible. We didn’t start out that way, but I definitely had some reservations about our respective sex drives and open mindedness about sex from day one. I (foolishly) thought that would change as our connection grew and deepened. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/21 01:59 AM |
| 2 | Are these men dating fat women actually physically attracted to them?Even I know this isn’t a safe kind of question to pose here... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/21 12:47 AM |
| 2 | Why do people care about hypergamy so much?Herego, don’t settle 😂 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/21 12:42 AM |
| 2 | Why do people care about hypergamy so much?Speak for yourself. I’ve been married, and know the joy of a deep partnership. I also know how much it hurts to be hurt by said partner. Will I wager my heart again? Probably. But only if I think she is worth going out on a limb for. Because should my second marriage end in a divorce, half of my future earnings (after taxes) is more than the average American’s total lifetime earning potential (before taxes). I may be a doctor, but even I’m not a financial idiot. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/21 12:33 AM |
| 7 | Why do people care about hypergamy so much?Education, career motivation, domestic skills, family pedigree (yes, I’m a bit snooty), genetics (is her family obese), inquisitive palate, fiscal responsibility, sexual compatibility, cat or dog person. There’s wiggle room on all of these factors, of course. But they are things I do think about, and the more positives there are, the more likely it is that I’ll want to pursue an LTR/marriage, putting the ball in her court, so to speak. I mean, this is the dynamic of dating in America, is it not?… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/21 12:27 AM |
| 13 | Why do people care about hypergamy so much?This. And it works both ways. Perhaps I’m an oddball in that I didn’t draw every short straw on the genetic side of things, and my profession/income carry a fair amount of weight in society, so I still match/date fairly regularly. But hell if I’m going to settle for any woman. Will I hook up with most women? If it’s been a long enough time since I’ve gotten laid, yes. Will I court one some? Yep. But the bar for me to date someone exclusively and then think about an LTR/marriage is much higher. A… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/21 12:11 AM |
| 11 | [Q4All]How often do you see ugly people of the opposite gender?Fit but ugly? Practically never. Like you, I don’t find fat/thick/euphemism-of-the-day attractive. I keep my BMI in the low 20s. The problem I’ve noticed, which is somewhat endemic to the Midwest, is that so many people - men and women, are fat. So I find perhaps 20% of all single and age-appropriate women I see attractive. Possibly even less than that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/04/21 02:57 PM |
| -2 | The reason men go for virgins and younger women is because they've been denied love longer, and can't afford to make a mistake or play around like women.I go for younger women because they’re generally more attractive. Also, excluding single mothers (another topic entirely) tends to skew my demographic younger too. Virgins... not something I seek out, personally. Would I like to be someone’s first? Eh, it tickles me a little. Would I want to feel responsible for taking some woman’s virginity only to learn that we’re actually not sexually compatible and should part ways? Fuck no. I haven’t been denied love longer, though I would bet that my dry s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/04/21 02:53 PM |
| 3 | What are things men find attractive?Assuming I find her physically attractive, her guarded interest in me will keep my interest. Basically her responsiveness to my texts and her ability to carry on a conversation (ie ask questions back/share anecdotes/etc so that our text exchange doesn’t resemble a job interview) is a huge indicator of her interest in me. Beyond that, I look at things like her health/medical status, taste in food, commitment to fitness/wellness, education, family, materialistic values, how cultured she is, etc. P… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/21 10:54 AM |
| 3 | Women aren't wrong or shallow for wanting a tall partnerI’d argue that it’s superficial/shallow to select for tall partners by definition. I would also argue that wanting a fit woman is also superficial. I see nothing wrong with being superficial/shallow in choosing who to date. What I do take issue with is then turning around and saying “I only date tall guys” and “personality/respect/sense of humor/ etc is the most important thing”. You know, the kind of BS most female authored dating advice articles drone on about. I own my shallowness. It’d be ni… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/04/21 12:51 PM |
| 1 | I think men here overestimate how much sex means in a relationship and life, when other stressors are involvedI’m not on here enough to have a sense of other men’s backgrounds, but speaking for myself, I got divorced to escape a dead bedroom marriage. My libido didn’t take a hit throughout Med school, multiple funerals, when we were long distance for parts of internship/residency/etc. Far from it, I frequently masturbated to keep some of that stress in check. So in my experience, I’m not overestimating the importance of sex at all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/04/21 12:45 PM |
| 1 | Why I believe looks can be very importantIf one gender lowers their standards substantially to match, what are the odds they’ll be happy with it? Ideally, all people would lower their standards a bit. OP- I’m also 5’7”, possibly slightly fitter than you, but I’m mid-30s, and divorced with no kids. I do have a strong career, so I have that going for me. I see no reason why I should settle in dating. For me, the end goal is still marriage. So I know that half of my income/earning potential is on the line. When I swipe, I ask myself, do I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/21 12:27 PM |
| 7 | Women and “Mission”In all fairness, I don’t identify with TRP. But I’ve skimmed a bit of their community’s dogma. It wasn’t clear to me that TRP stipulates looking for women to support the red piller in a mission. That said, I could very well be mistaken. Personally, I live by some elements of red pill (focus on your fitness, career, don’t put women on a pedestal, etc). I couldn’t imagine myself expecting a woman to support me in my “mission”. For fucks sake, most Americans don’t have a sense of purpose or urgency… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/21 01:54 AM |
| 10 | Q4All: When it comes to casual sex, why does it seem like people are living in two different worlds?I would think the obvious answer is that there’s a general set of attractive features that appeal to others. Those fortunate enough to possess several of those features are broadly desired (ie hot), and have the perception of abundance because for them, it is abundant. Those who possess few/none of those features aren’t broadly desired (ie not hot), and have the perception of scarcity for similar reasons. Then there’s a broad swath of people, myself included, who possess enough of those features… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/21 01:19 AM |
| 1 | Hitting the wall refers to when man begin to have an advantage over women in the sexual/ relationship marketplaceYou’re conflating sexual marketplace and relationship marketplace. Women will pretty much always own the sexual marketplace unless sluts become praised, adored, and abundant. Put another way, unless you see men becoming picky about who to fuck, en masse, women will continue to have an abundance of choice for sex. For relationships, it’s going to be women dominated pretty much all the time. If for no other reason than relationships need sex to get off the ground, and women control that. But if yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/04/21 10:14 PM |
| 20 | The hypocrisy i’ve seen in the RedPill communityAlso not a pill subscriber. Sort of with you on #1. I think redpill likes to portray it as men are opportunistic (ie will fuck the hot babysitter) but in a twisted way loyal (will stay married). And women are hypergamous in that if they think they can get hitched with someone better, they’ll make moves for it. But in principle, I think both men and women are opportunistic and hypergamous. As for moral standards, the crazy-hot chart is real for me. I don’t know about dumping though. If she’s hot … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/21 02:22 PM |
| 6 | Dating women who have advanced degreesMD here. The fact is, while you’re working towards an advanced degree (ie spending your 20s in school), you’re generally socializing/working/studying with people who are doing the same thing. We pair off within our institutions/fields, which by default puts us in similar socioeconomic circles. For those of us who either didn’t pair up or separated/divorced after graduation, dating is a clusterfuck. For one, the people still dating haven’t paired up. Were they just hyperfocused on school? If so, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/21 02:48 PM |
| 23 | Receptiveness of women (that are a few years older than the guy that approach them) to cold approach?Just shooting from the hip here. 1) you’re younger than the average guy who approaches them, and on average, more attractive 2) they expect that you can hit on younger women, and the fact that you’re hitting on them is a turn on (“I still got it” kind of buzz) 3) men their age pass them up in lieu of younger women, so attention from remotely age matched men (let alone younger men) is welcome 4) you’ve got the swag Seeing as you’re on Reddit, I doubt it’s #4. Then again, so am I. God damn it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/21 01:23 AM |
| 1 | Have You Ever Built Love Slowly?Nope. Not to be crass, but if my dick is not excited to see her, there won’t be a second date. And if I have to wonder about our sexual compatibility after 5-6 dates (ie we have not had sex yet), I take it as a signal that she’s just not that into me, and either break things off or let a mutual fade take care of it. Unless the guy is super thirsty and you’re his first date in several months if not years, we probably won’t bother sticking around for long enough to “build love slowly”. It’s a lost… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/21 10:39 PM |
| 10 | Just face it, Relationships are deadYou need some more perspective. When the pandemic quiets down, you ought to consider going out and socializing with people again. Dating and relationships evolve with the times. If you can’t compete, that sucks for you. If you can, great. If the result is that only the heathy and attractive pass on their genes, our society will be better off in those respects, even if some of the “virtuous” are left behind. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/21 04:06 AM |
| 0 | High-earning men only marry if they haven't researched what marriage is actually forBeyond a threshold, the pickings are very slim. I’d settle for a woman who clears 100k. The trouble I’m having lately is that even if I ignore her income/career completely, a lot of the profiles I’m seeing lately are just... unattractive. Or obese. Or single mothers. Or old. Or all of the above. The dating apps just feel different lately than they did pre-pandemic. Could my getting older by one year made the difference? Maybe. But I’m still in my mid-30s, so I doubt it. Either way, my point is, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/21 03:59 AM |
| 2 | High-earning men only marry if they haven't researched what marriage is actually forI’m not a lawyer, nor do I live in a community property state. But my vague recollection (I asked my divorce lawyer about this) is that prenups can and do supercede community property if they are done well. And one common pitfall is the lower income spouse not having independent counsel prior to signing the prenup. You should reread what I wrote. I don’t want custodial rights- I want to raise my kids in a single household as husband and wife. If I get divorced, then I’ll care about custodial rig… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/21 03:27 AM |
| 8 | High-earning men only marry if they haven't researched what marriage is actually forAs a high earning man, I’ll submit that there are many disadvantages, though not as bleak as you describe. 1) I don’t want custodial rights to raise my kids. I want to raise my kids with my wife under one roof. Call me old-fashioned, but that idea of a nuclear family worked for me, and continues to appeal to me. 2) we already know this. It’s not mine, it’s ours. 3) a well-drafted prenup absolutely will protect your assets. You just need to seek good legal counsel in your state to do so. And your… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/21 02:45 AM |
| 3 | What *should* men/women's standards be? If you criticize them for having unreasonable standards, what should these standards be then?I am a shorter than average man. Fit, but short. I think common women’s height “standard” or preference for 6’ and up is counterproductive. Sure, women are entitled to their preferences, but when enough women explicitly exclude something like ~85% of all men from consideration, there simply aren’t enough men to meet those “standards.” The fact that men see enough of these types of disclaimers to lament about height as a dating liability shows that this kind of language really serves to chip away… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/21 10:55 PM |
| 2 | I think that what is attractive to Women fundamentally comes down to PowerI don’t give a shit about pedigree for casual dating. But you better believe it’s a factor if I’m considering marriage. Certainly it’s not a dealbreaker. But the more she checks off other boxes (attractiveness, chemistry/compatibility, career, etc), the less I give a shit about her pedigree. By pedigree, I include her alma mater as well as her family status. Old money is unrealistic but ideal. New money who is related to old money is a bit more realistic and acceptable. Lower class is okay if sh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/21 10:42 PM |
| 19 | I think that what is attractive to Women fundamentally comes down to PowerYou could replace “power” with “status,” and still draw the same conclusions. That’s splitting hairs a bit. Your point that women are drawn towards perceived superior traits - however you want to define those traits - is well taken. On the other hand, men are also drawn towards perceived superior traits. Beauty, intelligence, pedigree, ... whatever. When you think of it, practically all people are drawn towards perceived superior traits in the opposite sex. Is there a problem with that? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/21 04:07 AM |
| 1 | [Q4M] If you couldn’t have sex with your wife/partner ever again, would you still choose to be with them?Fuck no. If she gave me permission to get my needs met outside of the marriage, then I’d probably stay. Yes, most vows typically include “in sickness and in health,” but even in sickness, workarounds are given a chance. Making me commit to a life of celibacy is not fair, and would make me question her moral compass. I am somewhat liberal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/21 05:18 PM |
| 1 | Balancing the financial factors in dating versus paying for sex/selling sexI don’t think I’ve ever paid for sex outside of a few escorts back in the day. (Highly unsatisfying, though very informative, by the way) I wouldn’t say that I use finances as part of my game (or all of my game). But my finances allow me to pretty much plan and pay for any date without worrying about the expense. If I’m in the mood for coffee and a stroll, that’s what I’ll propose. If I want to try a hot new restaurant, that’s what I’ll suggest. If we enjoy each other’s company and want to have … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/21 04:27 AM |
| 3 | what do you think of the concept of ‘looksmatch’? And how many couples do you see that are ‘looksmatch’?I unfortunately have to agree. Subjectively, the women here are a bit fatter than I would expect when compared to the approximate fat people distributions on the coasts. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/21 04:15 AM |
| 3 | What are your standards?Going on a dry spell of 3 months or so now. I’d rather masturbate than have shitty sex, blue balls, and a guilty conscience with another fat woman. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/21 07:58 PM |
| 7 | What are your standards?Man here. Mid-30s, fairly fit (skinny fat IMO but my scale consistently measures me ~17% body fat), full head of hair, etc. I have no problems admitting that I have a “no fat women” policy. From experience, I had to fake an orgasm in a hookup to get her to leave. Then somehow gently tell her no thanks later. Fucking terrible situation all around. Call it body shaming, I don’t give a shit. At the end of the day, my dick wants what it wants, and that doesn’t include fat women. Don’t care if she’s … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/03/21 07:22 AM |
| 6 | Does your attractiveness-level dictate your self-worth? Or at the very least, is being "sexually desired" a main factor in dictating your happiness?Not for me. Would I like to get laid more often than I do? Enthusiastically yes. Would that make me happier? Yep. Am I happy even if I’m getting laid less than I am now? Yep. My hobbies keep me engaged, stimulated, and growing. I’d be sad if I couldn’t participate in them anymore, but even if I couldn’t, I’d still find happiness in other facets of my life. The key is balance. No one part of your life should independently determine your happiness. That attitude has served me well. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/21 06:47 AM |
| 0 | As a man, are there any benefits to marriage?The main benefit, for me, is for family. If I’m going to have kids, it’ll be in the context of a marriage. The tax breaks are nice, but speaking as a high earner, I save more by not spending on shit that she wants than I would get back in the form of tax benefits. A second income is okay. But I already make more than enough for a household, so I don’t really care about that. In some professions, being married gives you an “in” with the folks in charge. Either it helps you climb the corporate lad… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/21 06:22 AM |
| 0 | Does this describe you? "I have a job, a house, and a loving group of friends, family and a dog. But I'm willing to throw all of that away if it meant I could be a guy who can get constant endless casual sex on demand."Fuck no. I don’t even have most of those things. I have a great career/job, a great small network of friends around the country that I chat with 1-2x/yr, an a nice apartment. I’ve been on the lookout for a dog and am on the fence about buying a house here (remains TBD whether I like living here enough to stay vs move). And even with only those few things, I’m not willing to sacrifice it for casual sex. I can get by with occasional casual sex/relationships, but I get a lot of professional satisfa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/21 12:19 AM |
| 1 | Online dating is the dating market for young people in metro citiesAmidst a pandemic, you’re right. But under ordinarily circumstances, I would argue otherwise. For young people, you generally date within your college. Or if you’re a recent grad, you’re probably dating someone you’ve met peripherally through college. After that, it’s online dating vs social/professional circles. It’s the social/professional circles that have dried up amidst a pandemic though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/21 10:59 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Single Men and Women Shouldn't Feel Bad About Having Sex With A Person In A Committed RelationshipYour participation is what enables the person in the relationship to inflict that pain. The counter argument, of course, is that if it’s not you, it’ll be someone else. Better you than someone more malicious, etc. Ethics aside, I have too much to lose to risk some psycho retribution from the significant other. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/21 05:49 AM |
| 2 | If men want more opportunities for sex, why don’t they put the same amount of effort into grooming, self care and “glowing up” as most women do?I’m similar to you. A bit taller, but definitely shorter than average. Do less exercise (hover around 17-18% body fat), have zilch for a skincare routine (looks good to me though). And when I pay for dating app subscriptions, it’s a little demoralizing to see the women who swipe right on me. Obese, uneducated, unemployed, poor dentition, etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/21 03:34 PM |
| 1 | Careerist women are the exception, not the rule, so why are guys here focusing so much on them?I generally agree. But I’m willing to absorb a stay at home mom if she’s attractive, intelligent, and has pursuits (ie art/music) that are more difficult to monetize but that I find culturally valuable. Still, the bar for attraction in that case is much higher. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/21 03:30 PM |
| 1 | Female Dating Strategy subreddit doesn't offer any actual strategy to find and keep HMV (High Value Men)As someone who would likely be a high value man, I agree. That place is so toxic that I don’t see how any significant participation there doesn’t quickly cause a woman to embrace the misandrist-sentiments there in real life. And as a man who “brings a lot to the table,” so to speak, I just won’t accept that kind of toxic behavior in my life. Where I will say they have a point is that for some of their newbie posters, it seems that having a higher opinion of themselves and having some expectation… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/21 03:26 PM |
| 1 | CMV - I think a lot of women's issues with dating could be solved by waiting, or abstaining from sex.They might not have sex with as many partners, but I don’t see how abstaining from sex helps them find a fitting sexual relationship. And as a man who appreciates how sexual incompatibility will erode a relationship, I’d find an arbitrary “wait for a certain milestone before having sex” as rather juvenile/naive and a turn off in itself. Sure, men like me wouldn’t fare well in an abstinence society. But I’m not sure that abstinence will match women up with compatible partners either. It’ll really… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/21 03:16 PM |
| 2 | Us Males love "bad girls" tooSome men might. I don’t find those social traits attractive. But I do find physical traits attractive. With the advent of online dating, if I don’t really find her attractive, I swipe left. Met too many nice (and in many ways compatible) women who eventually wanted to hook up but who weren’t quite stimulating. It’s fucking awful to basically dump someone either right before you’re going to hook up, or shortly after having sex and faking an orgasm to end it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/21 03:06 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Single Men and Women Shouldn't Feel Bad About Having Sex With A Person In A Committed RelationshipIf you’ve ever been cheated on before, or can empathize with someone who was, you’ll know the depth of the pain that comes with learning about the infidelity. For me, I’m not willing to inflict that pain on another fellow man. I don’t believe in karma, but I don’t believe in actions that cause that significant a net negative effect on the world. I take pride in knowing that despite my flaws and vices, the world will have been a seemingly better place for my activities in it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/21 02:58 PM |
| 11 | CMV: Men don't care about women's careers. But class definitely plays a role when it comes to datingClass only matters if you’re so tethered to your family’s opinions that you’ll let them dictate your life decisions. I was born LMC, and would argue that I’m now UMC by virtue of my profession. My ex was also a physician, and we met in college. As for future wife material, I’m 50/50 for trophy wife vs just a good woman with a decent head on her shoulders. If she doesn’t have a decent career, she’s got to have outstanding looks for me to consider her seriously. But if she’s in a dead-end job but … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/02/21 09:49 PM |
| 2 | Hold up...isnt EVERYONE Hypergamous?It’s functionally more of a female thing because women (generally) have the abundance of choice as to which man they will be receptive to. Look, I’m a highly educated, reasonably fit, dynamic, and sociable man with a great career. Of course I’d like to date an educated, reasonably fit, dynamic, and sociable woman with a career of her own. But the reality is that I’d settle for a woman who I find attractive and has enough qualities that I could see myself starting a family with her. I don’t need … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/21 01:21 AM |
| 2 | Is the average man able to have casual sex ? Or can he only find sex in a relationship?Yes, but it’s not easy. I’m below average height, arguably average looks, and a reasonably decent conversationalist. Have shit for “game” though- bit of a shy guy syndrome at first. I’ve had my fair share of casual sex. Maybe half a dozen partners over the course of 3 years, give or take. Most were what I felt was way less attractive (relatively speaking) than me, but I’m biased. It could also be skewed from my sugar baby experience/expectations. I did that for a bit to quickly build up my confi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/02/21 03:04 AM |
| 0 | Struggling men: Would you date a much older woman who adored you?Mid-30s man. Not quite struggling, but also not really trying hard to date with pandemic restrictions either. If she’s older but looks young enough that I’m still attracted, I’ll date her. But to your point of marriage, I’m not putting that on the table unless I see a future together with kids. So I am highly ageist. My dating app filters out women over ~32. Tinder, on the other hand, doesn’t have an age filter. But tinder is also a pretty big waste of time, so I’m not on it much. From my standp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/21 03:36 PM |
| 1 | Highly educated women are more likely to be promiscuous than less educated women,Highly educated people tend to be more liberal, progressive, and oftentimes sex-positive. Do you honestly think the farmer’s daughter in the middle of nowhere is going to be promiscuous? Fuck no. She probably got knocked up at 16, shotgun married at 17, and divorced a few short years later. Then she’s largely out of the dating game while she raises a kid, only to possibly return when she’s in her 30s or so. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/21 03:58 AM |
| 5 | CMV: Women joining the workforce had unintentionally made dating more difficult for the average man.I think it’s a combination of things, of which women joining the workforce may be a factor. In isolation, women joining the workforce did little other than give women a way to be financially independent. Perhaps for some women, that was enough to afford them the luxury of being more picky about who they choose to date. For some other women, they may have discovered they preferred to have a career moreso than a man. For still others, it made no difference because they went to college to obtain an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/21 03:52 AM |
| 3 | Can monogamy make men less attractive?I don’t think it’s so much the monogamy that makes a man less attractive as much as it is that regular sex with a stable partner allows a people to let themselves go. Both men and women are guilty of this, though in my experience, women are more likely to let themselves go after securing the relationship. In a relationship with stable sex, there’s no external incentive to flirt, follow fashion, stay in shape, etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/21 06:40 PM |
| 1 | Promiscuity is bad for men and womenAside from promiscuity being relatively subjective, I think it is good for some people and bad for others. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/21 06:36 PM |
| 5 | People who went through a bad relationship and took the long road of maturing and building themselves after it, do you regret that you had to go through that and wish you remained as you were? Or are you thankful for the experience that you went through?Would rather have avoided my failed marriage. I’m an eligible but divorced bachelor in my mid-30s. I could have been a mid/late 20s single MD. Also, I kept a few cute girls in my med school class at arms length because I was married. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/01/21 08:06 AM |
| 1 | Do you think it is naive to imply that "The Friend Zone doesn't exist?" Is it exclusively a woman's argument? Are there Men who believe this is true and if so, why? Are there women it is not true, and if so, why?Man here. I believe the friend zone exists, and I am unaware of any women claiming that it doesn’t exist. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/21 06:00 PM |
| 9 | Is the expectation of red pill type men for financially independent women with old fashioned values who will be submissive to them not contradictory?I think the expectations as you describe them are not reasonable, but I’m not sure I agree that TRP types declare that type of woman as the only woman. As far as I can tell, TRP is more about self improvement and non-committal dating behavior to bed the greatest number of attractive women on some arbitrary terms. Some take this one step further and say that the only women they feel are worth pursuing are ones who are financially stable, but I don’t think this is true of “core” TRP philosophy. Ot… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/21 05:06 AM |
| 4 | Do most financially successful women still expect that the men be the “providers”? Are men who refuse this role basically screwed?I know some successful women who don’t care what their husbands earn, so the phenomena exists. One couple has a SAHD, the other is, well, getting divorced. But that’s because the husband doesn’t work in or outside of the home. She would’ve stayed with him if he at least pulled his weight at home. In my general experience, women like it if their man makes more than they do. However, after some threshold, they come to the harsh realization that most men earn less than they do, and that these men d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/21 12:05 AM |
| 1 | Men like younger women but do many actually attract one?I’m still a few years away from 40, so not quite in your stated demographic. I also look like I’m in my 20s because I’ve never gone tanning and, well, Asian genes. Being fit also helps. I tend to match with women about 3~10yrs younger than me. Is my match rate abysmal? Yep. Do I filter out older women? Most of the time. But I do reasonably well when I am actively looking. I have little reason to believe that this will suddenly change in a few years unless my metabolism falls off a cliff and I ge… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/21 04:16 AM |
| 5 | Men being honest is irrelevant if they don’t take responsibility for themselves. Also, they're not more honest than women at all.You’re conflating two different things here. I agree that honesty is irrelevant if someone can’t take responsibility for their problems/challenges. But none of what you wrote has anything to do with this position. It’s hard to determine whether men or women tend to be more honest, on the whole. I don’t use vanity angles, filters, or group shots in my dating profile pics to be honest about what I look like and how fit I am (or am not). The same cannot be said of the women I’ve matched with. I’d m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/21 04:03 AM |
| 2 | Do you believe you owe it to your partner to stay attractive?I think everyone owes it to themselves to stay attractive healthy. And if your partner starts to let his/her health slip, it’s a red flag for many. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/21 02:25 PM |
| 1 | How Have Reproductive Rights *Personally* Affected Your Life?Reproductive rights (including birth control) have made my life so much easier. Despite all the partners with whom I’ve had unprotected sex, I am not a father (at least to my knowledge). Were it not for reproductive choice, I could be on the hook for child support for more kids than I’d like to imagine having. If we are only talking about abortions, my answer is the same. Only I’m blissfully unaware of any aborted fetuses. And if I were any of those women, I’d have aborted too. I don’t want to s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/21 09:39 PM |
| 1 | Are younger people objectively the most attractive?Duh? You don’t have to “take care of yourself” because your metabolism keeps many people looking decent until at least their early 20s. All the tanning you’ve done hasn’t had a chance to make your skin wrinklier than a raisin. Most men aren’t old enough to start balding. Most women’s boobs haven’t had a chance to start sagging. Both sexes are objectively at the peak of their fertile years. So yes, I think that holds true. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/21 05:56 AM |
| 2 | Why don't men care about a girl's social status or money as much as women care about a man's social status or money?I care about her family, educational, and career pedigrees. But if she’s hot enough (and is genuinely into me), I’m willing to overlook that because my kids will have legacy status to my alma mater, my career can comfortably support a family, and my family can fill in the gaps if hers is broken. But she has to be really fucking hot- like out of my league hot- for me to overlook that shit. In practice, she just needs to have a somewhat normal family (not full of extreme conservative/liberal nut j… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/21 05:48 AM |
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