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mindwindansea Archive

View 4 posts and 33 comments by mindwindansea on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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55

I left a guy who stayed up late drinking every night. He was missing the other 7 hundred terrible, low value attributes your guy has. But, nightly drinking, despite my asking for it to stop, was more than enough to leave. 15 years later, I still sometimes stop and smile when it crosses my mind. I made such a good decision. You are too. You’ll look back at this and smirk, knowing you left trash behind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/22 03:59 PM
8

I have a similar goal for the new year, although I've already failed. I realized I have what I can only describe as an addiction to dating apps. I very rarely actually meet anyone from these apps anymore, and have realized over many years that the experience as a whole has brought me mostly sadness and disappointment. And so I resolve to quit it altoghether, the way one does waking up with a painful hangover. I have what I know is a false, but powerful thought running through my head: "love is j…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 09:42 PM
1

Try a Single Serving podcast, too! Podcasts on any topic or mindset shift you aim to achieve are SO helpful for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 06:45 PM
57

YES. You are not alone, and there is nothing wrong with you. The most powerful thing for me has been to inundate myself with material from authors, podcasters, and researchers on the topic of single hood. There is a stigma attached to being single, and it can give us a false sense of "fear of missing out". But hearing about the lifestyles of successful and joyful people who are single either by choice or by chance, I've seen how I'm really not missing out on anything, and have had a full life al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 04:57 PM
7

Podcasts: - A Single Serving - Solo: The Single Person's Guide to a Remarkable Life Blog: - Living Single, Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single Books: - A Single Revolution, by Shani Silver - Singlism, What it is, Why it Matters, and How to Stop It, by Bella DePaulo - The Best of Single Life, by Bella DePaulo Random Entertainment: - The Golden Girls - Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar - Grace & Frankie
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 03:27 AM
125

Dating for 10 years without finding a relationship. The hundreds of failed dating experiences I had accumulated over a decade sat piled on my chest, and at the very end, any small disappointment in dating was crushing. Meaningless rejections would leave me depressed for a full week. When someone I barely knew cancelled on me, it damped my spirit, and that was the straw. I reflected back on my experiences and concluded I had given it my best. I had left my sweat soul out on the field, and there w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 11:38 PM
33

"The Problem With Being Cool About Sex" Recently published in the Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2021/10/feminism-sex-clark-flory-srinivasan-angel/619822/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 02:42 AM
21

I need it, too. We need community, we need affirmation from like-minded, intelligent women. We need to know we are not alone. That we are not crazy. And that we are not asking too much of the world, no, we've been asking too little of it. We need each other. And that's okay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 04:18 PM
62

Respectfully, it doesn't sound like what you've been doing is dating. Arriving to his house when summons you, in a car he knows you have to pay for is...well. It's not dating. Ps- Please hang out on this subreddit and read everything you possibly can. Your standards will rise and so will your self respect and sense of power. We gonna get you outta this crap, sister. You're down the well right now and can't see it, but FDS can help get you up and outta there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:53 AM
14

You should recognize the situation for what it is: you're dating a guy who is seeing you out of mere convenience to him, and not because he values you. He does not value you. What is worse, is you don't seem to be valuing yourself. And that is indeed worrisome. This situation will not get better. There is only one move to make here to salvage your self respect, and you already know what it is. (And also this space is not about tips to train men who have already proven themselves to be low value.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:46 AM
20

I think you already know the answer to that question. You're here, so you know that it's a fool's errand to train a man to be interested in you, and thus act correctly. You already know how exactly how he feels. His actions are speaking loudly. I know you are asking about getting your power back in your relationship with this man. But if you ask me, what's more important is the power that lives within you. What's more important is why you've been giving this man the privilege of your company, of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:34 AM
66

Platonic male friends as well as males I have dated will always offer to pick up. In your scenario, it's about so much more than the car ride. You said it yourself, you feel like he has too much power. Listen to your own wisdom. You see that there is a power imbalance. He should not only be offering to pick you up, he should also be taking you places other than his house. The fact that he is not doing these things on his own, without being asked or told, says everything you need to know. He is t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 01:32 AM
63

I'll admit that my initial reaction when reading this was that it was something of a strawman, but near the end I realized it was just brutal truth. If at the end of the day, if your life isn't observably better with your man in it, then he needs to go. Blame or attribution of intention need not even factor into the decision. His presence in your world is lifting you and your life up, or he's gone. Enjoy the view from your throne, queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 02:17 AM
3

I'm really sorry that this has been your experience. I'm fortunate to know that my friends do deeply care about me- they just also desperately want to provide a solution to a problem that they cannot fix. They just want me to believe, like they believe, that it will all work out in the end. They want to give me hope, seeing that I have basically none. It's well-intentioned, but it's also ineffective. I think it's hard for many people to listen to your troubles without trying to help, and they ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 01:43 AM
4

I agree. Intelligence is a double-edged sword; ignorance is bliss. Sometimes I wish I could be as naive as others and just believe in the law of attraction and live out my life in delusional positivity. She felt terrible after this happened. She was shocked that I seemed to be able to predict the future, but I drove the point home that it wasn't magic, it was rudimentary male social psychology & years of data collection in the field.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 01:37 AM
2

Thank you so much!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 09:54 PM
13

Honest to goodness my friends are amazing- but also amazingly naive when it comes to dating men (many are lesbian, others have been happily married to men for over a decade). But this simple advice is well received. I honestly hadn't thought of it before reading these comments- that I can and should simply not share dating details with certain friends who have continued to prove that they don't get it. If not by now, they never will. And it's really not worth it to have to defend myself so often…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 09:45 PM
6

Hi Risoa, what a thoughtful reply. Yes, I've certainly been emotionally distraught by these scenarios and I'm certain that came through in my rant :) I'm discovering that this is partly the disappointment in men and dating, but also largely because I've felt misled and disbelieved by the people closest to me. The late and hard-won lesson has been to never follow external opinions which contradict my own, even when those opinions are coming from the people you most love and trust in the world. It…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 09:36 PM
5

I am so, so sorry that this happened to you. It's true that ultimately women will selectively listen when they want to hold on to a relationship, and also true that the words from our friends do matter, and can influence our actions and lives in meaningful and sometimes tragic ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 08:23 PM
16

Thank you, and thank you for the reminder. FDS has been a flashlight in the dark, suddenly showing me that I've been feeling and reaching for gold while sitting on a landfill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 03:11 PM
15

Thank you. I think those last two sentences are what I've been longing, and recently, fighting to hear. I realize that it's own issue to drop; the knife I'm holding by the blade. I am starting therapy this week to help with resiliency with respect to dating (or not dating), and I am hopeful they don't end up giving the kind of naive advice I get from my friends. If you have any tips on what to look for in a therapist's approach to weed them out, and/or perhaps how to guide them in the kind of ap…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 02:54 PM
10

Your story matches up almost completely with mine: 10 years online dating (and some dating from the wild, too), hundreds of dates, and in all that time only 2 very short-term 'relationships'. After collecting so many data points of failure, I feel as though I've reached a statistically significant result and uncovered a natural law of the universe: I'm mean to be single forever. But your story gives me some hope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/21 02:20 PM
10

Did anybody else bawl their way through this? It's among the most powerful (and hilarious) things I've ever read in my life. I love this woman. I want to be this woman. BITCHES BE BOSSIN.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 09:55 PM
9

Casual sex is like fast food: it's cheap, quick, and you're guaranteed to feel bad about yourself afterwards. I've been holding out for a filet and a bottle of Italian red; for the kind of decadence that can only be experienced with true intimacy, commitment, and care. Thank you, OP & commenters for making me feel less strange, less alone. I'm 36 and have had sex a handful of times in the past 10 years. I often have 1-2 year periods of abstinence. I often feel like there is something wrong with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 09:15 PM
7

100p this. The book “This Naked Mind” changed my life. I’ve leveled up from something I had couldn’t see was weighing me down. Being able to walk into any social environment completely sober is one of the most empowering things I’ve done in my adult life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 03:45 AM
9

I had the exact same thoughts!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 04:28 PM
49

I would love to see more strategy posts on meeting men for dating opportunities outside of OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 07:46 PM
8

I bow to you, Queen. I do. This post touched me and made me a bit teary eyed. Your words may not be valuable to men, but they sure as shit are valuable to me. Your dog and job analogy- I am implanting that one in my brain. Rule on, Voice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 02:24 PM
2

I would encourage you to not worry about how you think you appear to him (for example, annoying). Instead, concern yourself with how YOU feel. When a man is interested in you, you WILL feel it. You will know it. It will be obvious and undeniable. You will feel secure and know where you stand with him because he will show it. This applies to all men, including shy men. Worry less about his shyness and his schedule and his perceptions, and much, much more about how you feel in this situation. If i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 07:51 PM
6

You don’t feel safe around him now because he proved he wasn’t looking out for your safety. You already know the right answer. You’re not wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 05:11 AM
16

It’s called Girl’s Best Friend. Supposed to simulate oral sex, but about a thousand times better. Me and my best gals all have one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 04:32 AM
1

May I recommend “a Girl’s Best Friend”. Me and 7 of my girlfriends have one and love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 12:41 PM
2

I'm so sorry. I also did fwb once and never again. I always thought it was a idiotic thing that girls did, but I was lonely and bored and figured I'd see what all the 'sexual empowerment' talk was about. It crushed me. My self-esteem flew away, and I started looking up cosmetic procedures and went to plastic surgeons for consultations. But here is a light at the end of the tunnel. Treat yourself like the queen you are, get therapy and anything else you need. Immerse yourself in your own healing …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 04:59 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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