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misterandosan Archive

View 0 posts and 170 comments by misterandosan on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

You're shallow, the girls you're attracted to are shallow Why would anyone want date an "average dude"? Unless you want to date an "average girl"? The fact is, no one can be described as average. People have attractive qualities to them that they leverage and improve. One person's soulmate is another person's trash. I have already done the "work on yourself bro" stuff like get in shape & work on hygeine. Hygeine is the bare fucking minimum to being a well adjusted human being in society. To thin…
/r/seduction08/11/20 05:13 PM
5

work on your insecurities, not changing your fiancee. Also, work on your communication skills. You should be talking about this stuff with her, not us. don't get married until you resolve your feelings with her.
/r/seduction07/11/20 10:34 PM
18

you don't have to make her do anything. Just don't let your relationships define you and change who you are and you're good. Putting effort into making her "invest more" when you're already in a relationship is crazy talk. Who even thinks about that shit outside of pickup
/r/seduction07/11/20 10:28 PM
61

examine why you have strong feelings for someone you barely know. Spoiler: it's not because of her.
/r/seduction07/11/20 10:25 PM
1

Yeah I read that part. He spent thousands on PUA workshops that won't result in meaningful change. Clinical Psychologists cost a fraction of that price, and will have a profound effect on his outlook and mentality for the rest of his life in more ways than just getting a partner. His mental health and fulfilment should be his priority over anything right now. Even if it can be expensive, I can't think of a better way to spend money to be honest than working to abolish the thoughts and insecuriti…
/r/seduction05/11/20 07:30 PM
1

I think you need to work on building a fulfilling life outside of seduction, because it's clearly not working for you after all these years. Are you talking to a therapist about this stuff? You need to work on your insecurities, anxieties and self sabotage and come from a healthy mindset before you think about introducing other people into your life. There's clinical psychologists that specialise in this stuff. Make sure to find one and spend money on them, not PUAs who teach superficial bullshi…
/r/seduction05/11/20 07:08 PM
2

that's awesome you took that step. Most guys don't have the balls to do it. Next time do the same thing don't preplan what you're going to say. Life isn't scripted, so scripting your interactions won't work outside of very specific circumstances. Speaking from experience here. It's better to work on general conversation skills. Start off every interaction like any other human being. "Hello". Pretty hard to fuck that up. If you have romantic intentions be honest about why you approached ("I thoug…
/r/seduction19/10/20 05:19 AM
2

NOTHING worse than a dude who is overly keen/making moves This advice isn't really for those kinds of people. It's more towards people with low self esteem, and talk themselves down before even approaching someone. When you approach someone with low confidence, you've already ruined the interaction by bringing the person down with you. Like imagine the social anxiety you get with approaching strangers in general. Lots of introverts will go into a mind hole of the worst possible scenarios before …
/r/seduction12/10/20 04:41 AM
2

it's more getting to a point where you don't disqualify yourself before the girl even has a chance to decide for herself if she likes you (this decreases your chance by a hundred fold before you even approach) You don't have to actually believe she's into you, but make that assumption that she likes you, and work on yourself to get to the point where that is true for many of your interactions. If you're struggling to get started, I recommend "intimate connections" by dr david burns. It uses Cogn…
/r/seduction12/10/20 04:33 AM
1

it's definitely possible. I've dated someone whose boyfriend she met from random DMs on facebook (she was pretty attractive). I've reached out to a few girls and had positive responses ('you've made my day!'), but they already had partners. As others have said, be upfront about it. Just tell her you thought she looked beautiful and really want to meet her and grab a coffee or something. Just don't expect too much from it. Doesn't hurt to have a profile that shows you have interesting life (as th…
/r/seduction10/10/20 06:25 AM
39

You replicate it by walking up to a girl and saying hello. Everything else that you try to "plan" or "replicate" from the past is meaningless bullshit. Don't mimic your past behaviour, work on becoming an attractive and confident person, not pretending to be one.
/r/seduction08/10/20 02:48 PM
65

Cultivate an awesome and fun life by yourself so people want to join in. If your life is shit on your own and you start relying on other people for your entertainment and affection, you'll suck the life of anyone that dares come near you. Do things that interest you and that you find fun, not because they'll get you laid. If you're not interested in anything, try out a bunch of shit until something sticks. Work on your self development. Work on things you can control.
/r/seduction24/09/20 10:57 PM
9

tldr: put work in to make your life awesome so you can: Add value to peoples lives when they interact with you easily invite people into whatever awesome shit you're doing Attract people into becoming a part of it. The alternative is sucking the life and fun out of everyone you touch because you refused to work on yourself, blaming your unattractiveness on things you can't control, instead of owning the shit you can. How you make people feel is far more important than anything else you could thi…
/r/seduction24/09/20 10:55 PM
3

I've talked to a lot of incels, and they all invariably suck at conversation, and/or have deepset unresolved emotional issues. Blaming looks is the easy way out for them. There's billions of ugly motherfuckers in the world getting laid. You may be ugly too, but what the fuck are you going to do about it? Wallow in negativity and be lonely for the rest of your life, or do your fucking best to improve your chances and find someone?
/r/seduction24/09/20 05:48 PM
10

literally all you have to do is go outside and see the magnitude of ugly motherfuckers with girlfriends. Instead, these guys are on their computers all day jacking off to each other on incel forums with zero life experience. Even if you're ugly, your parents somehow found each other and fucked, and so did thousands of your ugly ancestors with shitty genetics. To think you're somehow ugly enough to not get laid outside of disfigurement is pure fallacy.
/r/seduction24/09/20 05:43 PM
1

you're naive to think attractiveness is the most important thing. Literally naive in that you have no experience with women to validate your view.
/r/seduction24/09/20 05:38 PM
0

so your logic is looks matter the most when you're disfigured? What about for people who aren't disfigured, aka almost everyone?
/r/seduction24/09/20 05:37 PM
10

you still have to be competent in other areas as well when it comes to intimacy. You still have to be fun to be around. Having shit roll off you doesn't work if you have nothing else going on emotionally, or in your life generally. Never think of attraction as a binary thing where singular x trait gives you y.
/r/seduction24/09/20 05:34 PM
2

i've gotten to a stage where i'm pretty attractive. Didn't get laid until i learned how to be confident and good at conversations by working on myself hardcore for years. So I know firsthand how full of shit this fixation on looks is. Anyone who thinks looks matter the most is dogshit at conversations guaranteed. It's the easiest thing to point at, because it's far easier to blame something you can't control than actually work on the things you can. And even then, there are things you can do to …
/r/seduction24/09/20 05:29 PM
1

yep, the bare minimum. In no way does that diminish the achievement of getting a degree. Like saying a degree is the bare minimum to be hired as an engineer (but experience is more important)
/r/seduction22/09/20 04:17 PM
1

Keep in mind we're talking about him feeling lonely. Getting a degree and job doesn't solve those things, but gets you to a point where you're self-sufficient, which is one less thing to worry about. You meet a lot of people who have degrees and jobs but are unsatisfied with their romantic life. I meet men who have shit jobs and get laid That's the point I was making.
/r/seduction22/09/20 04:14 PM
5

I don't really care if it's insulting. It's the truth. Don't expect to get laid because you have a job and a degree, self sufficiency is a starting point, nothing more. Either way, if you're proud of achieving it, why the fuck do you care what I think? If you think your mental struggles are unique, or that the people you talk to haven't experienced it, you're wrong. Don't be a snowflake. I even told you to keep it up with your mental health, so don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Yes …
/r/seduction22/09/20 04:01 PM
0

Got a degree, and a solid job bare minimum. Spent thousands of dollars on programs to improve my social skills, joined classes to meet people. Have you picked up any actual hobbies? You need to have an awesome life separate from your romantic interests. If you don't have an awesome life by yourself, you can't expect to invite others into it, whether it's friendship wise or partner wise. Hobbies also give you a leg up in that you can meet people more like you, and bond over it. If you're going to…
/r/seduction22/09/20 02:56 PM
1

well, that's why I used those words, and not the others. Even if it was likely to happen, face to face is far more fulfilling, so who cares?
/r/seduction22/09/20 02:28 PM
4

What have you tried in 5 years?
/r/seduction22/09/20 02:04 PM
14

You're making the assumption that I didn't work on my appearance for years before getting to this stage. What are you doing about yours? My profile picture wasn't anything attractive btw, it just showed I was interesting. My current pic is of me with a bloody nose
/r/seduction22/09/20 01:50 PM
13

one person I dated happened to have a boyfriend (yikes) that she met out of the blue on facebook. So it does happen. I've had some positive replies ("you've made my day!") from a couple of girls that popped up in my feed years ago, but they were already taken. Probably not the way to meet quality people though, and definitely not a way to improve your skills. Good for shits and giggles.
/r/seduction22/09/20 11:53 AM
2

That's bullshit. If you have deep seated confidence issues, being jacked isn't going to do shit.
/r/seduction17/09/20 10:36 AM
1

that solves one problem, the insecurity of your physicality. Solves literally nothing else except that. But it's fun and useful being strong, and that's why everyone should do it. But don't expect it to solve confidence issues outside of one small area in your life.
/r/seduction17/09/20 10:35 AM
2

"intimate connections" by the same author is the friendship/romance version of "feeling good" that also uses CBT in order to achieve meaningful relationships. The few chapters are amazing for anyone looking to improving their lives overall. Dr Burns is working on an updated version of Intimate Connections, which will be great.
/r/seduction17/09/20 10:25 AM
1

Something in the moment. Could be a dumb observation about the situation you're in or anything to do with your surroundings. Then talk about whatever the hell you want. When she responds, use what she says to continue to the conversation. Share your relevant experiences/feelings towards the topic at hand. In general, it doesn't matter. Neither of you are going to remember what you said in a few weeks. The important thing isn't what you say, but how you say it, and how you make them feel and how …
/r/seduction08/09/20 03:35 PM
1

work on your self development in the meantime so you can go on a tear with newfound confidence when lockdown is over.
/r/seduction08/09/20 08:24 AM
39

Best way to gain interest is to show interest (don't fake interest, listen to what she says, and lead the conversation into something engaging based on her responses). Basically learn how to have a good conversation (lots of resources online). Also, initiate. Don't be pushy, but be assertive. If she's not ready to move on, she'll let you know, but you need to make moves, or any interest she had, she'll lose. Being assertive is a good way to calibrate where she's at If she's shy, you can always t…
/r/seduction26/08/20 05:13 PM
0

flattery doesn't really mean much outside of a girl's ego.
/r/seduction12/08/20 04:07 PM
4

Starting up a conversation with them is fine, and see where it goes. Don't hit on girls on the gym. If you're a regular you'll see them around often, and it'll just make things uncomfortable. Hitting on coworkers is similar, but even worse. Befriend them, see where it goes. If you build chemistry and get along, you can invite them on a date organically (you doing anything after? wanna grab a coffee? etc.)
/r/seduction12/08/20 06:11 AM
1

there's a lot of bad material on youtube just so you know. But if you want to get laid asap, it's not about grinding, it's about finding people who are receptive to you (given you've worked on yourself enough to be attractive to a subset of people). "Grinding" until someone gives up by someone competent socially would only be a proof of concept of what's possible, but it's a dumb thing to pursue in most cases.
/r/seduction09/08/20 08:07 AM
1

yeah, everyone deals with negative emotions. It's how you process them that matters. If you're at the stage where you'd be willing to hurt someone physically for rejection, you're either a psycho/sociopath, or you need mental help.
/r/seduction08/08/20 05:21 AM
2

there's no diminishing of anything. Mental health issues and warped views of the world and relationships are very serious, and very prevalent with men. You don't bash people because you're mentally healthy no matter what the reason is. It's not a choice for me or you, because we would never consider hurting anyone for rejecting us. If people consider taking that choice when being rejected, they have mental issues, period. Telling people to be less insecure with rejection is a good thing to tell …
/r/seduction07/08/20 02:44 PM
4

you're disregarding the context in which we are having this conversation, and arguing over semantics no one cares about. "Insecurity is a part of mental health" is a meaningless statement. Like "being in a bad mood" is a part of mental health. Minds aren't simply healthy or unhealthy Pure wank. and no one is suggesting what you said. At all. Then don't make reductive statements that say otherwise, then follow it up with meaningless bullshit.
/r/seduction07/08/20 11:09 AM
23

Not really. Everyone has insecurities, including those with healthy minds, including the women we talk to. It doesn't makes sense to suggest everyone has a mental health disorder to the point where they would physically assault someone because of it. It's how we process and deal with insecurities that matters.
/r/seduction07/08/20 06:54 AM
66

i don't think a violent outburst like this is an insecurity problem, but a mental health one.
/r/seduction07/08/20 05:27 AM
2

where do you have the usually when speaking to anyone? If in doubt, just have them by your side if you're not using them to express yourself during conversation.
/r/seduction01/08/20 06:54 PM
1

if she's comfortable with intimacy, yes. If not, eventually, yes
/r/seduction01/08/20 03:43 AM
1

All the ones I choose never like me back in the same way and it hurts. What do you mean in "the same way"? You don't even know who they are, and you like them already?! How about you find out if YOU like them. Finding someone attractive means fuck all. It's a superficial and meaningless for a meaningful relationship/connection. This is just you seeking validation from complete strangers, and you need to change this mentality. Why would a complete stranger even like you? You're literally a random…
/r/seduction30/07/20 02:18 PM
1

good shit. Being good with girls is being good with people first and foremost.
/r/seduction29/07/20 02:46 AM
2

to go with the art of dumping is the art of being alone. Feeling "lonely" is a choice. In reality, if you have a boring life by yourself, you'll have a boring life with other people. If you cultivate a fulfilling life by yourself and learn to enjoy it, people will want to be a part of it. And if for some reason you split, you won't be a shell of your former self when the relationship ends.
/r/seduction28/07/20 08:35 AM
1

girl who was (in my opinion) pretty far out of my league she wasn't. You going out with her is exact proof of that.
/r/seduction28/07/20 08:33 AM
2

Baby steps.
/r/seduction27/07/20 04:45 AM
2

Something that helps is to walk up to people who you aren't attracted to gain momentum. You'll realise the interactions are the pretty much the same between people you like and people you don't, it's mostly all in your head and equating attractiveness to status. Same with flirting. Flirt with anyone, even grandmas (e.g. on the train), so when it comes to someone you're attracted to, you're more comfortable.
/r/seduction26/07/20 07:11 AM
27

To be fair, OP isn't trying to get laid immediately, he's probably terrified of women and trying to get his feet wet actually talking to one. Loitering won't "work", but it'll give him exposure, and will desensitise him to rejection. He has nothing to lose, and it's far better than staying at home fantasizing (excluding the fact there's a fucking pandemic) That said, there's better, more organic ways to have meaningful interactions with women.
/r/seduction26/07/20 07:09 AM
3

no, even if you're conventionally attractive, if your behaviour doesn't match it doesn't mean shit, and you won't hold interest for more than 10 seconds.
/r/seduction26/07/20 07:07 AM
1

yeah, maybe for someone who hasn't spent any time improving themselves. External validation is a bitch, till you learn to get over it and start to do things that YOU validate.
/r/seduction21/07/20 09:48 PM
2

I've had a ridiculous amount of women tell me straight to my face that ambition is one of the most attractive things you could possibly have. It's not a joke.
/r/seduction21/07/20 11:36 AM
2

nah, people are clueless
/r/seduction20/07/20 07:08 PM
1

yeah, there's a lot of dumb advice out there. Like anything, take the good, ignore the bad. But either way, you learn something
/r/seduction19/07/20 12:15 PM
11

I used to think that if I approached 100 girls, there was no way I wouldn't sleep with one of them, and it seems like I was wrong. Wrong mindset. This isn't approach X times and get laid, it's approach, learn something about yourself and other people that you will keep FOR LIFE, bring it to the next interaction. Get incrementally better until you look back and realise how far you've come. If you've gotten better at conversation throughout those 100 approaches, that is definite success. Self impr…
/r/seduction19/07/20 09:38 AM
17

More like status. There are multiple things to imply high status, such as confidence, being well dressed, being well spoken, being comfortable in social situations, being proactive, having ambitions etc etc. that. Money can count as one of those things, but it's also a byproduct of the above. I've worked in hospitality serving filthy rich people, and the ones that sacrificed their social life to obtain money suffer in their interpersonal relationships and happiness later in life. It's the quick …
/r/seduction18/07/20 02:25 PM
2

Does any desirable attractive quality matter? Yes. But not as much as you think. People look at studies that focus on height, face, wealth etc. And think that's it's hopeless if you you're not in top 10%, but that's bullshit and doesn't represent the real world where multiple factors are at play. EVERYONE knows being attractive helps you. But the real world is far different. There are so many things that make up a person, and contribute to your attractiveness. If you are a short person, but are …
/r/seduction12/07/20 02:56 AM
3

For long term partners yes and dont let anyone fool you otherwise. If you're going to look at long term, you need to correlate the length of marriages with the actual height differences, or look at the success rate of marriages where the female is higher. If there were 3 out of 500 where the female is taller, that could just be due to the average heights being way higher, or the fact that relatioships where the height differences rarely happens (Which is an indicator about initial attraction, wh…
/r/seduction12/07/20 02:45 AM
1

For anyone wondering how long you should look at someone without being weird in a normal context, it's about as long as it takes to gauge eye colour. For romantic situations, or when you want to convey attraction, a little longer than this, and pretty much whenever you want. When it's your turn to speak in a conversation, look away to briefly think about what you're saying, then reengage eye contact. When listening, hold eye contact, but look away briefly every now and then when processing what …
/r/seduction10/07/20 12:41 PM
1

yeah exactly. But it's more that we express aggression more readily. On the other side of the spectrum, the batshit insane stuff on the women side rarely involves safety, or angrily lashing out, but is more insidious/reputational in my experience. For some guys with unhealthy views of relationships, it's pretty casual to call someone who rejects them a bitch. Which I think is an issue.
/r/seduction06/07/20 09:29 AM
1

yep which is different to what you'd get if the gender roles were switched. For example, I've seen a woman run to police after rejecting a random man on a train who was following her out of the station calling her a whore. It's a completely different dynamic in terms of safety. There's extremes for both genders, but it's different.
/r/seduction06/07/20 05:28 AM
8

yeah, i've experienced it. But it's not the same thing.
/r/seduction05/07/20 06:45 PM
8

women are probably less likely to lash out in abusive ways though, so it is pertinent for certain men to get this. For a lot of guys with unhealthy views on relationships, the ability to attract multiple women is directly tied to their ego. When they get rejected, they feel their identity is being attacked and respond accordingly. Women may have the same thing, but it's not expressed outwardly to the same degree. But yeah I agree, in general it's always healthier to separate yourself from extern…
/r/seduction05/07/20 05:19 PM
1

I wouldn't say this works with strangers Being positive is enough. The actual easiest way to get anyone to like you is to show genuine interest in the people you meet. This foundation affects most of your behaviour regarding other people, including your greetings, has the side effect of making yourself more interesting to others.
/r/seduction29/06/20 01:07 PM
1

let her decide whether you are in her league or not.
/r/seduction14/06/20 02:04 PM
5

Because no woman has made any bad choices with men ever, or misread any cues. They are infallible creatures incapable of making mistakes. Jesus christ.
/r/seduction10/06/20 03:16 AM
32

because it's fucking lame.
/r/seduction10/06/20 03:13 AM
12

^ incel with zero experience with women guaranteed. the only people who think ugly guys can't get girls despite the absolute ABUNDANCE of ugly people in relationships all around them (including their parents) are people who do fuck all to be attractive to the opposite sex or meet them. People like that NEED a reason to explain to themselves why they're unfuckable despite the fact they can't hold an interesting conversation for shit, barely wash themselves, wear shitty clothes, barely leave their…
/r/seduction03/06/20 02:39 PM
24

if you need to start from scratch a good book is "Intimate Connections" by Dr David Burns you can find online. Burns is a clinical psychologist that sees a lot of people with intimacy problems. It uses Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to deal with a lot of negative thoughts/hangups people have about relationships (romantic or otherwise). It's put in a step by step manner that's easy to follow as well. After that you can check out Models by Mark Manson for a bit more contemporary advice.
/r/seduction29/05/20 12:35 PM
3

it's natural that r/seduction goes the way of many subs when they become popular. A reduction in meaningful dialogue, and huge increase in meaningless escapist bullshit that makes people feel good.
/r/seduction25/05/20 12:36 PM
-27

i'm perfectly chill in calling this post dogshit. It's harmful for people who actually need advice on this shit. Disney is also wholesome, but it also fucks with people's perception of what relationships are.
/r/seduction25/05/20 08:35 AM
-21

This ain't an avatar sub, and not everyone has seen avatar. Posting out of context screenshots from fiction as dating advice is fucking horrible. We might as well start sharing disney bullshit. They were already pretty much in love when this happened. cool, that makes it even more irrelevant.
/r/seduction25/05/20 08:27 AM
113

Don't be afraid to tell her how you feel Don't tell her unless you're already in some sort of involved relationship where you're already close. If you're not, your actions are far, far more important. Showing your interest through good eye contact, touch, conversation are monumental in building attraction for those people starting out. Don't take dating advice from a cartoon yo! They're not trying to make your relationships better, they're trying to make you feel good watching it. Totally differ…
/r/seduction25/05/20 08:14 AM
256

Few perspectives on this i've picked up over the years regarding "oneitis" She's not that special. Guaranteed there's a guy out there that thinks she's not much at all. This goes for everybody. There are billions of people in the world. The idea that she's the one perfect person who is compatible with you is utter bullshit. Even If she's one in a million, that means there's 30 thousand potential women out there just like her in quality. Best way to get over someone is to go out and meet other pe…
/r/seduction16/05/20 11:50 AM
19

this might be a good method to keep your mentality in check. Nothing wrong with punching above your weight though. You might find out down the line your perceptions of her are completely wrong!
/r/seduction14/05/20 10:24 AM
137

it's not really about what he's saying, it's more about how he's carrying himself. Besides the cynical stuff the other commenters are saying, there's nothing here that would imply this wouldn't work outside of a public platform. Good eye contact, calm under pressure, good humour, well presented. Craig Ferguson is charming no matter what. Should also note that Craig has a long history with alcoholism, and other defects, so it's easy for some people to idolise people who are good in one area, whil…
/r/seduction09/05/20 09:14 AM
1

Nothing I said was related to "being nice". I don't really care what anal definition you think it is. I've clearly defined what I mean above. Flirting is playful banter. if you can't do playful banter without showing sexual intent then you either 1) Have women on a pedestal 2) a boring person. 3) someone who is serious all the time out of insecurity. 4) let stupid shit like societal perceptions of what flirting is define how you act
/r/seduction28/04/20 01:26 PM
2

If you're put together well, there's bound to be someone who thinks you're attractive sooner or later, even if you ask them dumb questions He got laid by taking a chance and find someone who liked him. If he was afraid of asking something stupid, nothing would have happened.
/r/seduction28/04/20 11:21 AM
2

You can do it without being creepy. Flirting really doesn't have to be anything other than what you make it. I'll reiterate that flirting does not mean hitting on them. It's simply light hearted communication.
/r/seduction27/04/20 09:02 AM
1

cheers bro, appreciate it ;)
/r/seduction27/04/20 06:09 AM
4

if you just use flirting as a way to have light hearted fun, there is zero chance anyone is going to interpret it as otherwise. I do it with my grandma. I smile, give her eye contact, touch her in endearing ways (high five, hand on shoulder), all things you can do while seducing. You can flirt without sexual intent. It's just ingrained into social norms that if someone has a playful interaction with you, they're hitting on you. It's up to you to control how you come across. Flirting in general m…
/r/seduction27/04/20 01:37 AM
4

Doesn't have to be sexual. If you find banter and good social skills douchey, that's on you. flirting with people =/= hitting on them
/r/seduction26/04/20 07:24 PM
3

pretty much, but it also brings you a totally different frame when coming into an interaction which helps a lot of people. Gets people thinking about what they actually want as well. Instead of seeking validation.
/r/seduction26/04/20 07:23 PM
3

besides what the other guy said, flirting shouldn't just happen with people you're attracted to. Flirt with everybody, including old people, including your friends. All it is is light hearted banter, eye contact, touch, all things which are fun to do and makes people feel good. Doesn't have to be sexual. Doing it all the time also makes you far better at it. When you find someone you're attracted to, you turn it up a bit and be a bit more intentional with your actions.
/r/seduction26/04/20 07:19 PM
22

never said it was black and white, but that more emphasis should be put on what you want. If you figure out if you like someone, it's pretty apparent whether they like you back. The discovery draws mutual attraction. If you're primarily concerned about what they think of you, you'll ignore your own needs/wants and end up chasing something you don't actually want. You also come from a totally different frame when you're finding out if they like you vs if you like them.
/r/seduction26/04/20 07:03 PM
164

even more so: it's finding out if you like them.
/r/seduction26/04/20 11:45 AM
2

yeah, that's the exception. However I find shy girls tend to do pretty well with seeking eye contact compared to their male counterparts, and if they look away out of shyness, they'll break eye contact off differently than if they were straight out not interested. E.g. they'll break eye contact, but smile/blush, so it's still a positive repsonse. Right now I'm just trying to explain baby steps for people who are at square one.
/r/seduction26/04/20 08:29 AM
6

Don't hold it unless they reciprocate. If someone thinks you're creepy immediate after looking at them, you have issues with your appearance period. Eye contact is normal human interaction and should not be creepy for socially competent people. When I aay appearances, first impressions make a huge difference in how people perceive you. Someone in daggy clothes, beanie unshaven etc is far more likely to be seen as creepy than someone nicely dressed, with a good haircut, a smile and good posture. …
/r/seduction26/04/20 12:20 AM
8

Yep, so you just confirmed you don't know what you're talking about. Nowhere did I say to explicitly "express" or "show" your intent like that video. I'm talking about YOUR intent when talking to somenody. What the fuck do you want from the interaction? That is what shapes how you behave and why flirting with your grandma is different to flirting with someone you're attracted to Do you, as a person have intent? Or do you just blow around in the wind, hoping you get laid eventually? Don't just re…
/r/seduction26/04/20 12:04 AM
9

You misread. Flirting with intent is seduction. Flirting for me is a general term that encompasses all light hearted, fun interactions. Flirting with an elderly woman on the train is different to flirting with an attractive woman at the bar because my intentions are very different.
/r/seduction25/04/20 11:51 PM
19

Wait, people think you're creepy if you hold eye contact while you're in a conversation? Are you jerking yourself off during it?! Very basic tips: If you're trying to initiate eye contact from across the room to see if they like you, look at them, if they look back, hold it, then walk up to them smiling. If they look away, they're not interested and don't pursue it. If too many girls look away, or you seem creepy, work on how you dress, work on your smile, posture, start hitting the gym etc. Lot…
/r/seduction25/04/20 11:36 PM
49

Lol yeah don't let them know your intentions. Just blindside them with sex. Edit: For anyone as confused as this man is, intent simply means showing interest in progressing the relationship further in a subtle manner. This could be holding eye contact a little longer, touching a little longer, joking about romantic topics. Just steering the interaction into something more than just friends. Pretty much what people are saying with subcommunication above. The fact youre worried about losing your "…
/r/seduction25/04/20 11:04 PM
60

probably intent. You can use a lot of the stuff in seduction in everyday conversations. Ideally you'll "flirt" with pretty much everybody, but the intent is completely different. Flirting can just be light hearted conversation, making a connection, strong eye contact, building chemistry, using touch etc etc. In seduction, you'd make it a bit more clear that you're into them using the above. That's how I see it anyway.
/r/seduction25/04/20 09:38 PM
3

lmao word.
/r/seduction22/04/20 11:41 AM
1

no stress. Everyone fucks up, even experienced guys. It's up to you to decide how you feel about it. Just take it in stride and learn from it. You learn far less from your successes.
/r/seduction21/04/20 03:55 PM
5

yeah I don't label a population based on looks when my preferences are completely different to the next person. People may not be attractive to me, but there are many reasons why that might be. 80% of people might not be attractive to YOU. Leave it at that and don't be a dickhead by reducing peoples wives to being mediocre.
/r/seduction21/04/20 12:01 PM
6

He didn't say anything about looks He literally said mediocre looking women. If you think 80% of people are mediocre looks or otherwise without meeting any of them, you're a dickhead no one should waste their time with, period.
/r/seduction21/04/20 11:46 AM
4

we all crave affection in one way or another. If you're not getting enough of it, or from people who matter to you then you'll seek positive behaviour from anybody that seems likeable. If you have options you'll be less dependent on who you seek validation from. I just was on a date a couple days ago, and thought she was cool. She even initiated it. But until I started feeling insecure, I didn't really feel like I cared how it would go. But having fucked up so much dating, every non existent sig…
/r/seduction21/04/20 11:10 AM
1

Do I need to be less professional/ambitious? No. There's no reason to be less ambitious, unless you want to screw yourself over in every possible way, professionally, and with women. How do I remain a professional man while building sexual tension? Don't. In 95% of situations your sex life should not intersect with your professional life. Most people who marry other coworkers are people who work crazy hours, so their social life = work life. Either that, or you end up being exceptionally lucky a…
/r/seduction21/04/20 10:40 AM
18

lmao "mediocre". Reducing women to how they look, and you wonder why you're not getting laid. Why the fuck would someone remotely beautiful, or fun to be with associate with someone who thinks like a loser exactly?
/r/seduction21/04/20 10:19 AM
1

how's that relevant to you?
/r/seduction21/04/20 01:53 AM
1

People who care about whether they're the favourite child are mentally/emotionally underdeveloped dumb asses. If your parents are fundamentally good parents, who gives a shit who they prefer. Tell me what advantages you personally have and don't have, then tell me what you've done about it besides complain on the internet and read studies. Then send me some studies about the importance of mentality, self improvement and how depressive thoughts and wallowing in self pity sabotages you far more th…
/r/seduction21/04/20 01:42 AM
1

everyone has varying degrees of advantages over one another. Something you're completely ignoring is whether these people with advantages are more fulfilled, lead happier lives, or appreciate what they have to the same degree as someone who doesn't have those advantages. What's the point of dwelling on what you don't have? You could jerk off to how you're disadvantaged in every way without realising that if you're not starving or impoverished, you're better off than half of the fucking world. Th…
/r/seduction21/04/20 01:16 AM
3

The possibility is there, doesn't happen for a large amount of people. People fundamentally don't derive the majority of their fulfilment by how they look, if they do, they don't come out sane people. The strongest people in the gym are people who grew up weak. Many people who grow up strong end up obese afterwards. Athletes are a perfect example. Being gifted naturally disincentivises people to be well rounded. You see this in seduction too.
/r/seduction20/04/20 10:24 PM
2

If your happiness depends on all that shit, you have a sad life. It's all vapid shit that doesn't mean anything in the bigger picture. Imagine having free shit but no one taking you seriously, or never knowing if someone is being kind to you without ulterior motives. Or never being rewarded for what you actually bring other than something pretty to look at. Where the fulfilment? Then what happens when you get old? You've essentially lost everything that gave you privilege and value, so you cling…
/r/seduction20/04/20 08:32 PM
1

Women are generally attracted to guys who are above them in terms of status. That's generally as deep as it gets. The people you're talking about are vapid people who you probably shouldn't date. EVERYONE benefits from having standards, including you. Just because some peoples standards are warped does not mean you should dwell on them. Move on.
/r/seduction20/04/20 08:23 PM
4

You can like people, but If you like some enough immediately after meeting someone to the point where you want to be with them, or it alters your behaviour then you're probably seeking validation. It takes a while to get to truly know someone, so don't feel the need to rush it. Be in tune with yourself and what you actually want. "Do i actually actually like this person?" is the basis from which all actions draw from. If you're desperately seeking validation, you've already lost the fight before…
/r/seduction20/04/20 06:23 PM
103

from a pure mentality perspective, it works. When you approach a situation, don't think "Oh god I hope they like me", but think "Do I like this person?". That stops you from reeking of desperation, which is huge for a beginner. This results in better quality relationships (not just romantic) overall, and an honest evaluation of whether you're actually attracted to the person, and not just seeking approval from anybody.
/r/seduction20/04/20 05:28 AM
1

lol no, there's a lot of girls who don't participate in social media. If she says wtf it means that social media is something important to her and her circle to the point where she can't imagine someone not having it. It's up to your interpretation what that means.
/r/seduction12/04/20 08:52 AM
1

> women has a fixation for men over 6ft. some do. I like curvy women. Statistically most men like curvy women. We're not all going out with curvy women, because there's more to it than that. if you have shitty genetics, so have the thousands of ancestors before you, and they got laid just fine. They just didn't have the internet to tell them otherwise.
/r/seduction07/04/20 09:34 PM
2

Yeah, they aren't from this sub. Views like that usually get shut down pretty quickly, but there's an influx of incels that skew everything. If you look at this sub 2 or so years ago, you don't really get those comments. They also spend a disproportionate time on the internet, so while people on here are out trying to better themselves, incels are home posting their misogyny and negativity online.
/r/seduction08/10/19 08:12 AM
1

just keep chipping away at it :)
/r/seduction07/10/19 05:19 PM
3

well there you go. You know what you need to work on, and that's a massive step. A good book you can check out is "Intimate Connections" By Dr David Burns. It deals with alot of stuff like insecurities and shyness using step by step exercises. Pretty oldschool book, but uses Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which is cutting edge. You can find it online somewhere. I used to incredibly shy/quiet, to the point where I'd go days without talking to anybody. Using that book, along with resources on this…
/r/seduction07/10/19 04:24 PM
2

nice apartment, enough cash for activities, a nice group of friends, I do well enough in classes, Im in ok shape and only getting better, etc. But what are you doing to improve your social skills? Can you hold strong eye contact with someone and hold an interesting conversation? Can you flirt? None of the things you listed are essentials to a good dating life, just nice-to-haves.
/r/seduction07/10/19 03:55 PM
1

Yeah, the goal of this sub is to improve yourself so that you're equipped to find someone who you actually like. Finding the perfect partner isn't easy, but it's alot easier if you make an effort. You're much less likely to find that person if you don't go out and find them, and instead date whoever falls into your lap. I'd rather be alone than be with someone I can't tolerate. That said, if you're incompatible with long term relationships, it's perfectly fine for you to appreciate women for sho…
/r/seduction07/10/19 03:38 PM
1

Looks are awesome. But being with someone hot, then realising you don't like being around them is exactly how you setup an unhappy, soul sucking life with somebody. Liking attractive people doesn’t make you an incel. It’s normal. Incels are marked by an obsession with looks, beyond what is reasonable. Of course everyone likes attractiveness, but anyone who has had multiple partners realise that alot of people have flaws that aren't solved by simply looking good. If I had to compromise attractive…
/r/seduction07/10/19 02:50 PM
2

This isn't a representation of this sub. We're actually pretty respectful, and there's some females here looking to get better at relationships too. There's just an influx of incels that have subscribed and are pushing their fucked up views here.
/r/seduction07/10/19 02:13 PM
3

yeah, it's been like this for a while. It's 100% an incel. They love to take the piss out of anyone successful with women, or trying to be. And knowing for fact 99% of the chicks picked up by Simple Pickup had their faces blurred out because they were picking up nothing but trash. Along with the obsession with looks I have no doubt. I have a feeling incels are a growing societal problem. The question is what to do about it.
/r/seduction07/10/19 02:09 PM
5

I can't tell, but the fact that he dissed someone's girlfriend for their looks screams incel. Anyone who has social experience has realised that looks wither away over time, and being awesome to hang around is a way more desirable trait for a long term partner.
/r/seduction07/10/19 10:37 AM
3

Well I started working out Good joined the drama club If you're doing this just for the girls find something else you actually like. Otherwise drama is awesome. starting going out more to increase my confidence Good, but not enough to increase confidence. I guess I'm just not awesome enough of a person to attract girls. You definitely can be. Read up on all the resources here. If you need to improve your social life in general and work towards meaningful relationships, Intimate Connections by Da…
/r/seduction02/09/19 01:30 PM
6

If you've tried hard for 2 years, your approach and views of the opposite sex are totally off. Noone cares about your well-endowment. Everything has to do with how you carry yourself, and whether you're awesome to be around. Are you comfortable around women in a non-sexual context? What have you done so far to boost your confidence? Are your day-to-day conversations interesting?
/r/seduction02/09/19 01:04 PM
7

Because your profile is dogshit
/r/seduction24/08/19 06:10 AM
6

Girls don't always get quality partners from sitting around all day waiting for someone to fall into their lap. No one does
/r/seduction24/08/19 06:08 AM
2

check out "Feeling Good" by Dr David Burns. It uses Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and step by step exercises to reduce depression-related stuff like anxiety, loneliness, self loathing and head to a more positive mindset. You can find it online.
/r/seduction24/08/19 06:06 AM
2

i mean romantic in the loosest of terms. Really i just mean any intent/interest. We're saying the same shit.
/r/seduction23/08/19 06:20 PM
11

i mean it's fine in that case, but since this is something you need to work on, be hardcore about your perceptions. Reframe it in your head "that guy looks like he's having fun". Just laugh at it and move on. But don't judge.
/r/seduction23/08/19 01:56 PM
7

lol yeah stop that if you want to stop caring what people think. It poisons your mind.
/r/seduction23/08/19 01:19 PM
8

Fair enough. One thing I've realised is that the less I judged people, the less i cared about what other people thought of me. Don't know if it applies to you, but it's good place to start: Just keeping an open mind with whoever you see/meet.
/r/seduction23/08/19 12:44 PM
1

If you're going to do it, just be willing to accept that anything can happen. I've asked a girl out in front of her friends, and she was already taken, but it made her day, and one of friends even congratulated me for having the balls to do it (It's not common for guys to do this) I'd say just give it a shot, you'll never those people again, and the worst case scenario isn't that bad. Best case scenario is awesome. Also, if you have time and the ability, chat up her friends too. Some people real…
/r/seduction23/08/19 12:23 PM
32

I don't disagree with medeat8, but the only way to achieve what she's saying is to genuinely not give a fuck about girl 1 as a romantic interest anymore. There's no point doing any of that on purposely attract her because you'll come off unconvincing, and it'll do nothing for progressing you romantically or as a person. You're basically acting lowkey desperate for a dime a dozen. What can you do Alcatraz-12? Stop: - being fixated on this one girl. She's not as great as you think. I guarantee the…
/r/seduction23/08/19 12:05 PM
14

for the social and mental aspect, check out the book "Feeling Good" by Dr David Burns. It's a book that uses Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to deal with depression and alot of associated stuff like anxiety, loneliness, unsuccessful relationships (romantic or not). It has some really good step by step exercises to head towards a more fulfilling life. Take care of that first, and the finance will fix itself. I felt feelings that I never knew a person could feel but after a week she told me that she…
/r/seduction17/08/19 04:48 PM
7

Read the book. Its not about slaying. Its about your wellbeing. You can find it for free online.
/r/seduction14/08/19 05:45 PM
7

Wow you really have no life experience. You really think looks by themselves are enough to have a meaningful interaction with somebody? You realise how crazy that is? You are fundamentally uninteresting, with deep insecurities. No matter how you act, if you don't fix those, you will always be undesired as a friend or romantically. Check out the book feeling good by Dr David burns. It deals with these types of insecurities step by step. You need to develop yourself mentally. Its your only chance …
/r/seduction14/08/19 05:40 PM
3

If you had any substance to you you would. And why would you even bring up someone so rarely attractive and compare yourself to it. Do you see your delusion?
/r/seduction14/08/19 05:27 PM
8

You're a loser because youre insecure and act like you're one. People dont want to hang around you precisely because you act like a loser. Not because of your looks. Who would you rather hang with? someone beautiful, or someone who treats you well, has an engaging conversation, is interesting and fun to be around? If you pick beautiful, you're a fucking idiot. I bet my ass your conversations are dogshit.
/r/seduction14/08/19 05:20 PM
12

Its certified, you're a loser. Keep reading studies instead of going out and meeting people or developing yourself. How many people do you even think are dating people who are exactly their preferences. You wouldn't even know.
/r/seduction14/08/19 04:29 PM
11

Ugly: The one thing girls are willing to overlook. Even then, dress better, work out and you're already ahead of the curve. Short: Build charisma, be a man of substance. If someone doesn't date you because of height alone, they're just as shallow as you are if you think it matters that much. Ethnic: The fact that you think that's a disadvantage is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Be proud and secure with where you come from and it can only be your advantage. In short, the people who complain t…
/r/seduction14/08/19 04:02 PM
4

I’ve flirted a lot and gotten nowhere but being used as a compliment bitch You don't know how to flirt. Flirting isn't complimenting - not even close. It's being funny, it's listening to her, it's banter, strong eye contact, smiling, light touching, using your body language show interest. All it is is light hearted rapport. You can flirt with anyone, including that grandma on the train; it doesn't even have to be sexual. If she says no I just don’t want her teasing me or any other mutual friends…
/r/seduction06/08/19 06:40 AM
5

'Feeling good' By david burns. Second this. Intimate Connections is a great one too, but a bit outdated.
/r/seduction04/08/19 12:54 PM
4

eh, the whole adversarial/witty comeback isn't my thing, unless it's banter where we can be properly funny. It's just shitty vibes. I'd rather ignore it and call them out on it if it keeps happening. kudos for the composure though.
/r/seduction17/07/19 11:21 PM
1

The key to any insecurity/insult is to own it.
/r/seduction20/04/19 12:25 AM
5

The best way to fuck yourself over is to focus on profit, and neglect your social/relationship skills. You're just asking for a miserable life. If you disagree, you haven't met enough rich people.
/r/seduction15/04/19 06:39 PM
6

schedule is always busy and I don't have workouts memorized like he does Hands down dumbest excuse I've ever heard The issue isn't you don't work out, it's that you're insecure and make excuses for your shortcomings. Work on your personal development first.
/r/seduction25/02/19 01:17 AM
–

As an asian, it's true. Profile pictures look similar when you use the same washed out filter, and same cat dog effects. I wouldn't be so quick to call him racist.
/r/seduction05/02/19 08:00 PM
2

I thought you were giving me a grammar lesson for a sec :P But yes, inclusive language is a good idea in dating for sure!
/r/seduction29/12/18 04:05 AM
1

You have to learn how to improvise dude, it's going to hurt your success in the long run. Trying to predict outcomes is probably one of the worst things you can do in an interaction for the following reasons: It restricts the possibilities the conversation can go towards, therefore limiting the extent you can connect to people You're not listening to, and responding to your partner in the best manner, instead of having free flowing conversation you already have an agenda, which a lot of people c…
/r/seduction29/12/18 04:03 AM
14

Right now I'm dating someone who is extremely shy and introverted. Like hunterpua has said, use multiple choice. Otherwise here's some things you can use: Plan a date/activity that's interesting: E.g. rock climbing. Then you can both be in the moment and talk about that activity. By planning awesome activities, you're giving her life experiences that'll enrich her life. You're the person that's making her life exciting, and she'll be better off cause of it. Move the conversation towards things s…
/r/seduction29/12/18 02:55 AM
4

Sometimes the motherfucker would say that to girls' faces before leaving thinking it made him look cool or something. What a social retard lol
/r/seduction29/12/18 02:37 AM
1

The advice I was trying to convey was that if he sees something as a hindrance, it's as easy as doing something about it. You might be right though. Transitioning to another job outside of hospitality if he can is probably advisable though. It's just better to be on the same frequency/time schedule as the general population in terms of alot of lifestyle factors unless he's passionate about hospo.
/r/seduction22/12/18 02:00 PM
5

find out where the people in hospitality hang out. They definitely like to party. Either that or find another job. Simple as that.
/r/seduction21/12/18 04:54 PM
8

Pardon the harshness, but this is my honest feedback from what you've written. You didn't fail a shit test, you basically just dumped your problems on another human being, NO ONE is going to appreciate that. Who cares why you're introverted? Being vulnerable is more than vomiting your tedious bullshit on them. Opening up is fine, but if what you're opening up about is masturbating to your self image, rather than say, trying to make a connection with her by sharing an experience she can relate wi…
/r/seduction02/12/18 11:50 AM
21

If you have an inferiority complex, you gotta deal with it. I'd recommend a book called Intimate Connections by David Burns. It's a bit old school, but has step-by-step exercises to stop the negative self talk crap, and turn you into someone who can make connections with people much easier. The dude who wrote it is a clinical psychologist who deals with alot of people who have dogshit perceptions of themselves. I definitely recommend it as a place to start off.
/r/seduction02/12/18 11:27 AM
-1

then you're an idiot for not directing the conversation where you want it to go
/r/seduction24/11/18 05:40 PM
10

The difference between creepy or not, is how attractive you are (which is determined by everything else you're doing) Just be unflinching during conversation. General rule of thumb for any interaction is to look at their eyes long enough to realise their eye colour (bit longer if you're flirting), look away, then back again rinse and repeat. Another tactic for flirting, is using the triangle: left eye, right eye, lips, repeat. Looking at their lips implies you want to kiss them. Use that when yo…
/r/seduction23/11/18 10:36 AM
2

It's to do with the fact you're in a different country with no stake in how people perceive you over there. Lose me with that pseudo philosophical bullshit
/r/seduction06/06/18 11:24 AM
3

My general mindset is that things are only awkward if you make it. I'd approach them like any other interaction, a basic way to approach them would be to sit next to them and say "Hey I see you on the bus every day but we haven't met, I'm [name]" with good posture, smile, eye contact. Literally that easy. But if you know you'll see them again, I take it slower and befriend them first (there's less of a rush to get things going). That's generally what I do with familiar faces. Someone might have …
/r/seduction04/06/18 08:44 PM
36

Later on in the day, I was sat next to this woman on the tube who I really wanted to talk to but couldn’t bring myself to do it because of how many people were around us Just a tip from someone who does it, there's two things I do in that situation. Imagine the worst possible scenario of striking up a conversation and realise it aint shit. (She refuses to give you the light of day? Who cares! You're never going to see these people again!). Be logical about it. Then imagine the best scenario (You…
/r/seduction04/06/18 05:44 PM
41

The fuck? Youre an english speaker. You KNOW cute has multiple meanings and uses. It doesnt mean shit if she says it. If you want to know if she likes you, look at her body language.
/r/seduction26/05/18 06:23 AM
2

Its a fact that letting someone to do a favour for you makes them like you more BUT it has to be reasonable (easy), and they have to be at a level of rapport with you already. Using this tactic for building rapport is a dumb idea unless you know what youre doing. Id suggest asking for favours when you genuinely want/need them (theyll appear). Then its actually meaningful and you can show your appreciation, than this conceited bullshit. This isnt going to be the difference between getting that gi…
/r/seduction25/05/18 01:45 PM
49

I'd bet my ass it's how he carries himself in general that makes him unattractive. You can say pretty much anything you like if you have strong eye contact, great posture, good intonation, well-dressed, physical touch etc etc. Openers mean fuck all until you got your shit together, and even then they're used more for fun than actual results in my experience. Point him towards some resources on the sidebar that aren't obviously pickup. Models by Mark Manson is a pretty good book to start off with…
/r/seduction16/01/18 04:25 PM
7

Don't talk, ask questions and be genuinely curious about the person you're talking to. When you do this, they'll be excited someone is interested in them, and thus find YOU interesting. If they're socially competent they'll ask you questions back, and THEN you talk about yourself or whatever, but ONLY if it's interesting. That's how to get a basic conversation going with pretty much anyone When you're good at the above, then you can fuck around with it a bit, or do whatever the hell you want. As…
/r/seduction24/08/17 05:16 AM
1

no problem buddy, enjoy :)
/r/seduction19/08/17 02:44 PM
20

It sounds dumb as fuck, but practice smiling at inanimate objects. Your cup, Your desk, Your chair. Whatever, just practice smiling at shit until it feels natural. I got it from "intimate connections" from clinical psychologist david burns. Great book on getting over insecurities with intimacy.
/r/seduction16/08/17 02:48 PM
34

There are a ridiculous amount of beautiful girls in the world, but good friends are much, much harder to come by. Also, getting good with people is getting good with girls. Anyone who says otherwise is an idiot. That said, there's more specific resources on here anyway, but don't limit yourself.
/r/seduction25/07/17 04:42 PM
51

no, don't do this. If you don't know what you're doing, you'll come off conceited and creepy as fuck. The only guaranteed thing you should do, is talk to both of them. Similarly, when you approach a group, you talk to everyone. No one likes being ignored, you'll seem like an asshole if you do. (imagine someone hitting on your sister, without acknowledging your existence - just bad vibes) Be fun/engaging (lots of ways to do this, but get good at conversations basically) to both of them, give LOTS…
/r/seduction17/01/17 05:20 AM
4

you can create that attraction OP is having with eye contact. Doesn't work all the time, but If she's remotely into you, a conversation at least happen.
/r/seduction01/01/17 04:50 PM
2

if you're gonna stand up for yourself, you need to be confrontational on occasion.
/r/seduction07/11/16 06:02 AM
36

Ha! Good form :) Edit: whoever down voted this thread, understand the philosophy of judo. Its called the gentle art for a reason ;) Being assaulted is a very valid reason for retaliating in a nonviolent manner which op did. Footsweeps can end VERY differently if you want them to.
/r/MensRights28/09/16 05:16 PM
17

Like judo? :P
/r/MensRights28/09/16 04:51 PM
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