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mjeleon Archive

View 0 posts and 25 comments by mjeleon on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Part 2 Finally, I just want to take one last look at your specific questions and observations. ​ What is self-love? Honestly different people define it differently, but in general it's simply the practice of expressing love towards yourself. Think about the love that people have for others. Now imagine that applying it to oneself as well instead of just others. That's pretty much it. Loving yourself is next to Impossible. Not to get combative here, but clearly it isn't. To elaborate, either your…
/r/ExRedPill13/05/19 09:22 PM
2

(in two parts, because apparently this is too long and I made Reddit angry) ​ I'm speaking from the perspective of a woman (27), so YMMV- I DEEPLY struggled with this for a very, very long time (and still do, to a degree, though things have gotten much better). In my case, I attached all my ideas of value and self-worth to the service I could provide for others. I felt like I needed to prove I was worth something by helping others, listening to their problems and secrets, doing them favors, cons…
/r/ExRedPill13/05/19 09:21 PM
2

Someone else in the comments had a really good point- often times trivial arguments are actually rooted in much bigger problems. Here's what I'm hearing: You've been together for a decent chunk of time, enough to establish a solid relationship. Recently you have started to have a whole bunch of "trivial" arguments. Now, what seems more likely? That all of the sudden you are having a lot of unrelated issues that just happen to occur within the same timeframe? Or that they are all in some way rela…
/r/ExRedPill30/04/19 04:33 PM
3

In my personal opinion honest communication is 100% the most important factor in any relationship. That being said, keep in mind that there are different ways of saying something to avoid unnecessarily hurting or offending someone. Using my previous example of a hypothetical guy I am not attracted to- there's a big difference between saying "I don't want to date you because I think you're hella ugly and I'm not into that", versus saying "I'm sorry, but I just don't feel the same way about you." …
/r/ExRedPill24/04/19 09:27 PM
3

Exactly- when I say don't treat her like damaged goods, that's exactly what I mean. When people learn that someone has been through trauma, they handle them like fragile porcelain figures, afraid to say the wrong thing. They often lie to the person because "the truth would be too hard", but that results in them treating the person like a child, and causes much more harm in the long term. Accept that she will react in accordance to how she feels. She might decide that she doesn't want to continue…
/r/ExRedPill24/04/19 09:09 PM
8

Everyone's entitled to being comfortable in whatever relationship they're in- friendship, coworkers, romantic, sexual, etc. If you're not comfortable with in a romantic relationship with her then it would be worse to lie about it- the truth would come out somewhere down the line and make her feel betrayed. And you can't force yourself to like someone. Example: Let's say there's a guy that's attracted to me. He's a kind, decent person, but I don't find him physically attractive. It's not his faul…
/r/ExRedPill24/04/19 08:57 PM
11

Chiming in because I've been in a somewhat similar situation. I'm a female (27) and during my college years I had more than one unfortunate interaction with men (I'd rather not go too far into details- it wasn't as bad as what happened to the girl you mentioned, but it was enough to cause trauma). For a very long time afterwards I had a lot of trouble with intimacy- mostly fear of being powerless/taken advantage of/reduced to an object. When my current boyfriend and I started messing around, it …
/r/ExRedPill24/04/19 08:39 PM
2

That statement doesn't make any sense... if a woman over 5'4" wants to date you then that means she's fine with your height. If she wasn't okay with it then she wouldn't be dating you. Also, there's a full five inches between 5'4" and 5'9". Are you saying that you wouldn't date someone 5'5" because... well, it can't be because she wants you to be taller her, since 5'5" is still shorter than 5'9". Sounds like you just don't want to date tall women.
/r/ExRedPill23/04/19 06:18 PM
1

If someone is being flirty in a way that makes you uncomfortable, but you still want to be friends with them, then you might have to have a frank conversation with them. I have straight male friends in committed relationships that act “flirty” with everyone- their personality is just that way. I know it doesn’t mean anything so it doesn’t really affect me in any way. But every situation is different, and there are definitely some people that are manipulative. Whether they’re the former or the la…
/r/ExRedPill08/04/19 04:43 AM
2

There's already some really great feedback here, but I'm going to add one more thing. When you talk about how you got interested in MGTOW, you mentioned that you agreed with some of what was being said- and it sounds like that had to do with issues that men face in our society. The issues are definitely real, the problem with MGTOW/TRP is that instead of examining these issues in more depth, they simply blame all their problems on women (despite the fact that many of their claims are very easily…
/r/ExRedPill07/04/19 03:26 PM
2

For starters, here is a really great explanation of the disconnect between men and women when it comes to their perception of friendship, and why it leads to so many misunderstandings and "friendzoning": https://imgur.com/a/TbS88 To answer your question- Is it wrong to become someone's friend even though you're also interested in them romantically/sexually? Not necessarily. Is it wrong to become someone's friend ONLY because you're also interested in them romantically/sexually, and you aim to us…
/r/ExRedPill07/04/19 03:20 PM
4

Keep in mind that while some people are generally considered attractive, attractiveness is still highly subjective. I have plenty of friends in long term relationships (some married) who swear their boyfriends/husbands are super attractive, and to me they look... well... not. Even celebrities get this! There are plenty of "conventionally attractive" men that are famous, and yet some women still don't find them attractive (here's a silly example: https://thoughtcatalog.com/rachel-hodin/2013/07/10…
/r/ExRedPill03/04/19 07:42 PM
9

You're defining "suckered into" as going out to dinner, and then having a girl not be interested in you. But you can't determine with any certainty that you're going to be romantically interested in someone until you've had a chance to date them in person (and even then, after dating a for a long period of time the person may reveal something about themselves that is a dealbreaker or turnoff for you). Let's say you show up to dinner and during the date she does something or says something that m…
/r/ExRedPill03/04/19 01:38 PM
9

Honestly it’s a little hard to remember! I think I stumbled upon it after something from the redpill subreddit got reposted elsewhere. I always had this sort of weird facination with the group just because they clearly had such a different perception of the world, but I could never stay on there for too long because there was so much toxicity and no real room for discussion. Too much like dogma. I’ve been subbed to the satirical subreddit blue pill, but that often was just reposts of the worst T…
/r/ExRedPill30/03/19 04:03 PM
20

I agree with a lot of what you said- there is a lot that TRP doesn’t account for, and there’s no in depth discussion of why that is, despite the many examples of healthy LTRs in the world. I think part of it lies in the danger of bias based on experience. A lot of men in TRP have had truly awful experiences with women irl. When you continually see examples of a certain behavior, our brains want to confirm this as a pattern, so we can better protect ourselves from it in the future. For example, i…
/r/ExRedPill30/03/19 02:44 PM
3

That really sucks :( Based on everything you're telling me it sounds like she has no respect for you, and that's the kind of behavior you definitely shouldn't have to put up with. You deserve better than someone who is going to ridicule you. It might be time to withdraw.
/r/ExRedPill29/03/19 07:00 PM
3

Ahhhh- gotcha. That definitely gives the situation a lot more context. If she's specifically bringing it up and teasing you about it then that's really not okay. Have you ever told her that that makes you uncomfortable? Does she behave that way with anyone else? If she keeps on pushing your buttons about this with no regard to how it affects you, then that's not "good friend" behavior- because it means she isn't respecting you. In that case it's best to either a) have a conversation about it if …
/r/ExRedPill29/03/19 05:09 PM
8

Out of curiosity, how long have you been friends with this group of people? Are you mainly upset because she continues to be (only) friends with you despite the fact that she knows you like her? Or are there other things she does that make you feel like she's using you? I'm coming at this from the perspective of a female. I very much value my friendships with women and men. If I had a male friend who either confessed he liked me, or had hinted that he liked me, but I didn't like him back- I woul…
/r/ExRedPill29/03/19 03:53 PM
13

Forget about sex for a moment. You shouldn't be hanging around with someone / being friends with them just because of the possibility of sex- that's a surefire way to build resentment over time. No woman owes any man sex, it's not like a transaction on a vending machine, where you wait x amount of time and are rewarded with sex. If she's into you, that's great, but if she's not (and that's kind of what it sounds like), then you're really only going to feel worse the longer you stick around. So i…
/r/ExRedPill29/03/19 03:22 PM
2

One last thing- I really want to make it clear that you did not get "dumped for showing too much affection". There is nothing wrong with you showing affection. She broke up with you because she realized she doesn't feel about you the same way. When you enter into a relationship with someone who does love you, please don't be afraid to show affection. When you're with the right person, she won't have a problem with you telling her how much you love her, because she'll feel the same way about you.
/r/ExRedPill27/03/19 10:36 PM
2

You already have a lot of great comments here, but I'm going to add my own two cents because I feel like there's something that a lot of redpillers get wrong when it comes to relationships... Because so much of the ideology relies on the concept that all women are the same, there are all these specific behaviors that are supposedly applicable to all women, teaching you how to treat them in order to keep them under your control. There is little focus on things that are actually important for a LT…
/r/ExRedPill27/03/19 10:31 PM
6

For reference, I'm female, 27. I don't know where this idea came from that there's such a thing as being too nice! To be clear, all women are different, but everything you're doing sounds amazing to me. Here's the thing: You have to remember that TRP ideology really only applies to a specific kind of woman. Someone who is shallow and superficial, who is seeking for an archetype, and thus likely to turn around and hop onto the next guy if the man she's with doesn't fit what she's looking for. Kin…
/r/ExRedPill25/03/19 03:22 PM
3

Although I'm a female (27), a lot of what you're going through sounds very familiar to me. I am a very artsy person who loves working on crafts and projects, and I was always somewhat of a hopeless romantic growing up. I so desperately wanted to be in a relationship, but believed that no one would ever want to be with me. I went to college thinking that this would finally be the time to reinvent myself, be more confident, and get a boyfriend... and nothing. It was especially weird because I kept…
/r/ExRedPill22/03/19 02:50 PM
2

Female, 27, in a relationship for a couple of years now. My boyfriend is not a very emotional person- due to the way he grew up and things that happened in his life (and to a degree that's just how he is). But every once in a while, when something is really bothering him, he opens up and becomes vulnerable. It's in those moments that I feel some of the strongest love and appreciation for him, because I know that it takes a lot for him to trust someone to that extent, and I love that he trusts me…
/r/ExRedPill20/03/19 03:55 PM
2

There's already some great feedback here- I'll just echo that in any situation when you're looking for a partner, it's a good idea to take into account what kind of person you're looking for when determining where to look. Where would a more modest, conservatively dressed, religious woman want to spend her free time? Most likely not a bar or a club, as this kind of woman would be less likely to go out to get drinks or look for a hookup. What kind of community places are their in your area? Perha…
/r/ExRedPill18/03/19 04:49 PM
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