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View 1 post and 24 comments by mlstdrag0n on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
13

mlstdrag0n/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 07:50 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
12

You need to do things for yourself, find and do you again. You bent over backwards and completely lost yourself in your marriage, which would be my guess as to why it ended. Mine was going down that road as well, working on it. It's hard, lots of self reflection, lots of tearing down old ideas, but there's progress and a happier you at the end.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 06:23 AM
2

It's certainly a balancing act, relationships do require adjustments. But if you being your authentic self means irreconcilable differences, then you were never going to work out in the first place. Just that the honeymoon period smooths things over until it's gone. I'd suggest reading, a lot. And thinking about it all from your context. There is no answer out there that will work for you; you have to come up with that on your own. But their experiences would be a helpful guide.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 06:40 PM
11

The one part that stuck out to me is that you mentioned sacrificing yourself for the relationship. It's kind of a red flag that I've just recently started learning. You can't build something that lasts on top of sacrificing yourself. Eventually you'll grow resentful, either when the euphoria of things working out fades or when you aren't getting "enough" of a return for your sacrifice. It will leak out in other ways, often creating small bits of friction that adds up; a snide remark here, bit of…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 06:18 PM
8

Much of this would apply to first marriages as well I'm in the camp that didn't invest the time to find myself before getting married, and I'm now in the early stages of separation because of it. Many of the red flags applies to the first one too
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 07:20 AM
7

Was it the attorneys dragging it out? How did you light a fire under your attorney's butt?
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 03:55 AM
15

Some of us were just like you. And some of us who were just like you ended up in a dead bedroom for as long as the marriage lasted. Talking about a friend, of course. A friend.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 08:24 PM
1

Store important things in at least 3 forms in different physical locations. Otherwise you're just rolling the dice. For something like this which is life altering, I'd store it on 2 cloud providers, have a physical copy of it (CD burners are still a thing) in a safe deposit box, and keep a copy on a thumb drive + personal computer. I've had 3 HD backups fail at the same time and lost a decade of family photos. While that sucks, it's nothing compared to evidence that may save you from being frame…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 09:02 PM
8

Talk to your lawyer; vet everything in this process through your lawyer. Sounds to me like she wants 100% of the house and have you pay the mortgage. But talk to your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 04:52 AM
6

Your analogy is hilarious, but I don't think we ever fully heal (neither do burn victims, for that matter)
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 09:54 PM
2

Fuuuuck no. Once is enough. Maybe we're biased and jaded because we didn't meet the right person, but it's too exhausting. And traumatic
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 09:52 PM
2

Oh, and yeah, she has issues. So do I, we both came from shitty families and tried to work through it with each other. Well, she did, I powered through and pretended the big ones didn't exist. Works until it doesn't, is all I have to say
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/22 07:29 AM
1

The story, as always, is quite a bit longer and complicated. It's subjective, so you're not necessarily wrong... But I really do feel like I used her more than she used me. If you think of it in dollars, then you're absolutely right. She got / will get financial stuff. I got / will lose things that are intangible and hard to quantify in dollars. For me, those intangible things are worth the dollars. Money is extremely important in all the things where it works; and extremely unimportant in all t…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/22 07:24 AM
1

I used to attribute that to serial divorcees, thinking they inflated that 50% number. But I guess it doesn't matter even if it was just 5%; I'm part of it now
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/22 10:56 PM
1

Never thought I would be here, honestly. Guess everyone thought their marriages would be different
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/22 07:28 PM
3

Sounds like a plan. Guess I still have my blindfold on since my first instinct was to defend her... But she doesn't get that anymore
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/22 03:03 AM
2

Woah... Reading through that thread was an eye opener. Better safe than sorry I guess
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 05:26 PM
3

Definitely a cold, hard truth way of thinking about marriages. I felt she was different, probably not unlike many others I would assume.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 05:10 PM
2

Well, it's much too late about the inheritance part; it's possible I can still trace it since it's only been used for major purchases, but I'm not too sure how much of a fight I want to put up on that part. She's done lots; it's difficult to quantify the contributions of a non working spouse because I can't just point to a salary number. But she's the reason why I went from public education to tech, and I'd like to think her research on market rates, companies, etc is the reason why I'm making w…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 03:58 PM
3

Thanks, I needed to be reminded of that
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 12:14 PM
2

The "if I divorce him now I'll be able to retire today" angle? It has occurred to me, but we were penniless when we met; doesn't quite feel like she was in it for the money. Though I suppose that might have changed at some point
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 11:16 AM
1

Elaborate? Is there a legal / divorce related reason to not move out?
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 08:54 AM
2

She plans to move back to her home country after the divorce. It was always our retirement plan, but that I kept telling her we need to save up more money for it made her feel like it's a carrot in dangling to control her... Even though we've only worked at it for 5 years and I'm early 40s. If we liquidate and go 50/50 and I don't try and claim separate property for my inheritance (nothing spectacular, but it's roughly a down payment for a home), she's set for life in her home country. She could…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 08:53 AM
8

Get her working, yes. Hide your assets... maybe not such great advice. If the judge ever finds out, you're gonna get wrecked in the face.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/22 04:02 AM
1

Wait, income tax isn't considered/withheld for alimony calculations?
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/21 10:42 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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