| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 23 | ⚠️ BIOHAZARD WARNING ⚠️ | Rant | modernmanagement | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/25 09:12 AM |
| 20 | Soon-to-be Ex-Wife Wasn't Honest About Our Separation with Her Family | Dealing with the Ex / STBX | modernmanagement | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/24 10:06 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Im in a bad placeIt is so difficult. Stay steady. I do understand your pain. I am just over a year since my ex-wife had an affair. No good reason. She just longed for a spark. Something new. Now my children are frightened of her new partner and do not want to go. The child therapist may involve child protective services. It is not easy. It hurts. But here we both are. Abandoned. Sailing through the storm. Because we cannot calm the sea. We can only ride the waves. I pray you find peace soon. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 03:03 AM |
| 2 | Im in a bad placeRight now, just keep breathing, eating, resting when you can. You have been struck down but not destroyed. When the time comes to speak with your lawyer, you will be ready. Until then, be kind to yourself. Understanding is slower than pain. You don't need to understand it all just yet. For now, endure and take good care of yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 02:37 AM |
| 2 | Im in a bad placeYou are in the thick of it for now. It is understandable that you would be anxious about it. So much uncertainty. Emotion. Heartbreak. Real pain. When we are stripped of all meaning, as you have been, it leaves a void. Like a full cup emptied out. And that emptiness aches. Terribly. It demands compensation. Anything to ease the hurting. It wants to be soothed. Numbed. It wants new meaning. Narratives. Stories. Illusions. But I would urge you to do nothing. Let it ache. You are wounded. A psychic… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 02:17 AM |
| 1 | I am afraid that I will be alone forever, and I can’t stop thinking about it.Why do you fear being alone? | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/25 02:42 AM |
| 5 | Feeling lonelyIt is common to feel lonely. When you have loved someone it does not just stop. The momentum of history. The momentum of love shared. It carries forward for a time. We all get lonely. Even in company. Even surrounded by others. In grief the isolation deepens. We want to be seen. We want our pain to be known. To be witnessed. When death comes there are ceremonies. Rites. Mourning. People gather. They hold us. In divorce it is often the opposite. People look away. They do not know what to say. The… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/25 01:12 AM |
| 2 | How do you deal with anniversaries and relationship milestones after leaving?It's the most honest way through it. If anything you may find something true. Something real. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/25 04:16 AM |
| 3 | How do you deal with anniversaries and relationship milestones after leaving?You are still grieving. Let it hurt. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/09/25 07:39 PM |
| 6 | I hate that men call victims of cheating “cucks”Any person that would say that is a fool. It says more about them, doesn't it? The need to prop up their own ego by tearing others down | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/25 01:30 AM |
| 3 | Ex moved her stuff out of the house today. I'm shattered and a mess.You are grieving. Allow yourself some grace. Give it time. Feel all the emotions. Let it hurt. It is through the wound that we find our truth. Not by soothing it and pretending everything is fine. Don't rush to heal. Just let it be. And it will take as long as it takes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/25 03:39 AM |
| 3 | I want to hurt her.remove access to the text logs. It'll only continue to hurt. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/25 11:24 PM |
| 3 | What do you do if it becomes too toxic to live in the same house while divorce is going + kid involved?My theory is this. If you have a biohazard you cannot fix it. You isolate it and take precautions. Safety first. Always. I made sure there was a parenting plan in writing and I separated everything. Insurance. Utilities. Accounts. I stayed in the house and shouldered most of the mortgage with the agreement that she would get half when it sold. I paid for her rental and furniture and took out credit cards to make it possible. The kids were settled. I was broke and broken but I was free. Boundarie… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/25 09:34 AM |
| 12 | The mid life, divorced man and women’s perceptionI'm one year out from separation and soon to divorce. Also in early 40s. I've tried dating and flirting with women in their 30s and 40s. It sucks! They are usually so entitled and think banter is just play when usually it's often just insulting. They want you to tick all these boxes and willing to just cut and run if they're put off by any little thing. I am so over divorced mums and their kids. It's so draining. And boring. Instead, younger girls are fun to flirt with and date. It's so much eas… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/25 12:45 AM |
| 2 | Moving on, meeting a woman from churchMove on and keep on trying. For all you know, maybe she isn't ready to date. Maybe she is still healing from a breakup or two. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/25 05:58 AM |
| 10 | In case you need a deeper understanding…Okay. I'm good. Damn. Imma just stay very single. Thanks OP. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/25 04:37 AM |
| 2 | Im posting this with the utmost respect to all the great fathers....then there's the DV spouse.I feel like I'll never be like I was before. Betrayal is a deep wound. Invisible. Grieving unseen. And it aches terribly. But better to live a life that is real than a lie. Maybe some wounds don't heal. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/25 12:15 PM |
| 11 | Im posting this with the utmost respect to all the great fathers....then there's the DV spouse.I wasn’t abusive. But to try and answer your question from my experience ... My wife had an affair and lied about it. While we were still under the same roof, I set up a co-parenting plan and started leaving on her nights with the kids. At first, having half my time back felt like a relief. I had space and freedom again. But it didn’t last. I started to miss them more than I expected. Now, a year later, I’d give up everything to have them with me every day. If I could. If it was right. The weigh… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/25 11:40 PM |
| 3 | It was “just” an emotional affairI understand. That ache truth can bring. When we lose a part of what we thought was real. The illusion removed. That ache demands compensation. It wants to blame. It wants soothing. New narratives to fill the void. But if you can sit with that truth. As cold and stark as it is. That is integrity. That is real. Your mother cheated. It hurt. Deeply. Like death unwitnessed. But to be seen as we truly are is the greatest act of love we can offer. See your father. As he is. And maybe there is truth t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/25 11:18 PM |
| 5 | It was “just” an emotional affairSome wounds never heal | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/25 10:53 PM |
| 4 | It was “just” an emotional affairTruth doesn't always help. Nor comfort. But it is clarity. It is integrity. For me. To live in truth. That is better than living in a delusion. That is better than soothing a wound with lies. If ever they ask. If I am ready. Together. We will look. And we will see. I will witness. And I will not flinch in the face of truth. Your mother cheated on me. She lied about it. To this day denies it. But I know. And that is the truth. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/25 10:44 PM |
| 13 | It was “just” an emotional affairyep. agreed. though, she never admitted to it. But I got proof. She didn't realise the PC had her facebook logged in when she gave it back. Historic records proved me right. I know. She doesn't. And if my kids ever ask one day. Maybe. I'll tell them. She cheated. Lied. And lied some more. And then some. To this day. But I know. And I have integrity. That's all I care about. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/07/25 11:56 AM |
| 15 | Happier after divorcePeople who know me say I seem happier than before. I’m not sure I’d put it that way. I carry more now. I’m the only income earner, managing a heavy mortgage. I parent alone, without family close by. I miss my kids deeply when they’re with their mother. And there’s no partner who wants me, loves me, touches me like I once hoped. I don’t have that anymore. But still… I am happy. I make my own decisions. My life is mine. There is clarity. There is truth. I am healthy. My kids are thriving and love … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/25 02:46 AM |
| 2 | Need a 2nd opinion: should I give amicable separation a chance?Probably the best plan. There are good and there are less than good lawyers. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/07/25 08:20 PM |
| 1 | 66 and headed for divorce, older guys, what is is like after?well you can do whateverthefuck you want and nobody can say shit about it | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/07/25 11:06 AM |
| 1 | Need a 2nd opinion: should I give amicable separation a chance?Go find and expert lawyer who has some kind of good recommendation and pay the premium to get a third opinion because it sounds like it might be money well spent. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/07/25 10:36 AM |
| 9 | How long until you started dating?Immediately. A friend and I rebounded into a situationship not long after I separated. Didn't last long. I tried again, online dating, and had a girlfriend for a few months. Had many dates in and around all that. Some casual encounters too. But now. A year out from separating and soon to be divorced. I'm glad for the experiences. I have no regrets. But I realise it is best I stop dating and focus on myself and my kids. My goal now is to fill my world with things I love. Things I'm passionate abo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/07/25 12:20 AM |
| 6 | ⚠️ BIOHAZARD WARNING ⚠️Trauma bond is best bond 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻 | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/25 09:41 AM |
| 13 | Useless at 50I too have stared into the void of meaninglessness. Camus says we face three choices when confronting the absurd. One is to stop being, which ends the story. Another is to rebel, to strive and overcome. The third is God. That’s the path I chose. It draws me into service with others who suffer. It puts my own afflictions in context. No need to date or worry about hitting the gym. And it offers new meaning. Not in escaping pain. But in redeeming it. Just some thoughts to ponder. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/25 03:35 AM |
| 3 | I don’t know what to do anymore. Please, I really need help, advice, or just someone who understands.....PLEASE HELP.Fight. With everything you have. Go bankrupt. Start over. What else can you do? It's time to choose. We live in a void of meaningless nothing. All you do wont matter in 10 years, 100 years, 1000 years. Life is short and so you have some choices. You can just dip out, many do. You can turn to God, and surrender to a higher power. Or you can overcome, rebel, be the warrior. All are valid choices. What meaning do you want to give your life? | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/25 10:40 PM |
| 6 | Tell me I’ll be okYo, I know this pain. It sucks. I'm a father too. Two kids. Baggage. Problems. Crazy ex who left me for her high school boyfriend who is now a trans woman. Brother... it ain't easy. For me. For you. For any of us. But now, nearly a year in, I just want to be the man I'd want to hang out with. The one my kids love being around. Start with friends. Start with community. Start with being a damn good father. That is more than enough. Get your support crew sorted. I had to rebuild from nothing. So I … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/25 05:50 AM |
| 10 | Do you fight less/get less angry in your new relationships?You say you have an anger problem with her. But. Is it anger? Or is it control? You want her to act differently. You want her to respond in the way you expect. When she doesn't… you react. You say "but she pushes my buttons." Okay. So tell me... who gave her the buttons to push? Seneca tells us " Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power." Anger is weakness. It is losing control over yourself. It is surrendering your mind to impulse. Do not make excuses. It may catch you off guard. Yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/25 11:11 PM |
| 3 | After 20 years she blindsides me with “i dont want to be married anymore”I know the feeling. 20 years together, 10yo kids, blindsided, the family home... all of it. I’ve been there too. But in my case, I kicked her out. I put it down to her mental health took a turn, she made drastic choices, and left me for an old high school boyfriend (who is now a transvestite). She downgraded into worse conditions, has less disposable income, and now has to handle more for the kids than she ever did before. I used to do nearly everything for them. Now, she has to step up, and she… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/25 02:45 AM |
| 3 | Anyone here who has been divorced for 3+ years, haven’t been in a serious or even casual relationship since, and still feel miserable?I was married 20 years. a few days after my wife asked to separate I had sex with a long time, close friend that also had a break up, so we rebounded together. It was probably a mistake, but it was great. The sex was bad, but that didn't matter to me. After about a month that relationship died, and then I had a threesome via a facebook single parent network group. That was also great. After that, I tried dating apps and had some good and bad dates. More sex. Now I have a girlfriend and it's grea… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/03/25 12:10 AM |
| 3 | Separated but cohabitating, can I use dating apps?I'm separated, living together temporarily, co parenting, nesting a bit. I've been with other women since the beginning of the separation. As far as I'm concerned, the relationship is well and truly over. We are no longer exclusive. Our contract of marriage is null and void. The divorce is a formality for the legal system. However, I know it does upset her. I know she cries when she hears me talking to another woman on the phone. I know it hurts her. I just don't care anymore. This is what she w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/01/25 11:48 PM |
| 1 | Which would you choose: never to fall in love again or to be unrequited in love?I will only ever have a long term relationship if I feel that we both love each other very deeply. To me, that means that I am attracted to them both physically and mentally, that I admire who they are, we have a deep respect for each other, we completely trust each other and can be honest about everything, and that we share the same goals. If all those boxes are ticked, for both of us, then I'll consider it as love. I'm not confident that I'll find it, but I'll know it when I have it. Until the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/25 04:37 AM |
| 7 | A Guy I Work With…..You have a chance to save a brother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/25 02:59 AM |
| 2 | Bouncing back after divorceThat's right. You can't always control what happens to you and what actions others take. But you can control you mind, your thoughts, and ... to an extent ... how you react. “You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.” – Marcus Aurelius | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/24 03:23 AM |
| 2 | Bouncing back after divorceI think it takes courage. I keep putting myself out there, trying to form new connections all the while feeling lonely, worthless, and rejected. I hope I'll form new connections since all my local friends and family were through her. I think to get through it you have to feel all those emotions, accept that you have no control over what has happened, and push forward even though it's difficult. My plan is to keep putting myself in situations where I might make new connections. I'm also going bac… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/24 10:40 PM |
| 3 | I have summited the mountain. 10 years this month.My kids will be adults in 10 years, and I'll be into my 50s. Somehow it saddens me to think I'll be going this next stage alone. But also I look forward to finding myself again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/24 10:35 PM |
| 4 | How do you get over your ex when she is the mother of your children and you still love her?Thanks for that, one dad to another. I appreciate it. I stay strong for my kids. I hope that one day I can use my divorce as an example of how to persevere through difficult times and show them the endurance of my love for them and their mother, as much as I can't even see her or talk to her right now. I'll make sure they're all looked after as best I can until she is out of the house we share. Then she'll be on her own and I hope she does well for the kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/24 03:13 AM |
| 4 | How do you get over your ex when she is the mother of your children and you still love her?Not just that, but with their family and friends too. I miss them all, and breaking those bonds also hurts. I guess it takes a long time to break the bonds that you built. Every time you tear a strip of it away, it hurts. I cry a lot. But slowly I hope I'll break it more and more, hurting all the while, until it breaks completely. Maybe in time both of us will heal, or maybe I'll never break it altogether. I hope one day I can be friends again, but I can't do that now. The pain is too much. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/24 03:03 AM |
| 1 | How did you deal with living together right before the physical separation?I'm going through it right now. It's awful. I have always been that sucker that gives up everything and it was never enough for her. Now she doesn't even respect me or care at all. It's hard when somebody just loses their ability to be considerate or respectful to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/12/24 10:54 PM |
| 14 | How do women keep guys in bad marriagesLiterally me. Sacrificed everything for my family, lost myself, gave everything I had. One reason for her divorcing me was so she didn't feel.guilty being with her friends. I'm an idiot. Never again. I don't think I could even have amother partner after my bad marriage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/12/24 10:40 PM |
| 2 | Did anyone else lose their sense of attraction?Try taking some horny goat weed, eat a half dozen oysters, do a workout, take a nap, and report back on your libido | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/12/24 01:53 AM |
| 1 | Engagement ringI let go of it. I gave it to her, she can do as she pleases. Goes for all the jewellery I bought her over the years. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/24 11:28 AM |
| 2 | Met the other guyKeep them guessing and stay two steps ahead | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/11/24 05:59 AM |
| 2 | Telling friends. When’s the best time?tell them all | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/24 03:54 AM |
| 2 | Ex not respecting house boundariesShe's worn out her welcome. I'm having the same issue. We do 7 days over a fortnight with some consecutive days e.g. Monday Tuesday Friday Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday = 7 days a fortnight. So on my days I don't want her around. The other night, my night, she comes home with a friend who comes up to me saying "we need to talk about things! are you okay? I'm still your friend too right?" and I was like fuck this fucking shit and had to kick her friend out of the house and I'm the asshole. like … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/24 03:54 AM |
| 6 | Letting her stay at the house (CA)You child needs both of you. Co parenting 50/50 would be the best outcome really. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/24 12:08 AM |
| 11 | Believe what she saysI fully accepted it and then she regretted it and it was too late to go back the horse has bolted | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/24 12:04 AM |
| 3 | Throwing a party at “her” house for Halloween together.You should go as a real estate agent and start an auction | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/24 04:37 AM |
| 8 | Decided to divorce after 19 yearsPeople grow apart. Welcome to the majority. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/24 03:19 AM |
| 7 | Been 2 years….I feel you on that. I struggle with it too. But one's purpose doesn't have to be a family man or husband, I'm hoping I can find a new purpose and fill my sails with a sense of adventure and positivity. I hope I can do some good in the world, make it a little bit better, make my kids proud. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/24 02:37 AM |
| 24 | Been 2 years….Why not find a professional and just pay for it with some of your savings. Cheaper than getting married and divorced. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/24 10:50 PM |
| 1 | Can’t sleepGo and get laid. I sleep so well after. Since my stbxw asked to separate just over a month ago, I've had more sex than the last 4 years of my marriage. My side chick also has trouble sleeping after a break up, and she is slowly healing too. the magic of sex is real. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/24 09:38 PM |
| 1 | Divorce parents honest opinionIt's possible. And I get why you'd want to protect your kids from it. Essentially, if they have a lot of resent towards one parent then that is half of who they are and could lead to some self-esteem issues and such. For me, I don't think it's fair for kids to have to deal with adult drama. Cheating partners, kids can't get their heads around that. Best to protect them from it for as long as you can until they're able to process the truth in a healthy way. Have two good co parents in their life … | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/24 11:27 PM |
| 3 | Has Divorce Prompted You to Reexamine and/or Change Your Core Beliefs About Life and Purpose?I felt that way, but I came to understand that to be a good role model for my kids it's not necessarily good for them to see me and their mother in an unhappy marriage. Kids are resilient, and a lot of kids have separated or blended families. Most of them do fine, in fact many I know are thriving with two single parents. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/24 03:26 AM |
| 14 | Has Divorce Prompted You to Reexamine and/or Change Your Core Beliefs About Life and Purpose?The biggest change in my beliefs was that divorce means I failed. I don't feel that way anymore. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/24 10:31 PM |
| 6 | My son wants me to take care of my sick ex-wifeYou're not a bad person, but you might feel the need to be a good role model to your son. I'd do anything for my kids. If they asked me to help them care for their mother, I probably would do what I reasonably could for their sake. I'd not want them to have to feel alone in that struggle. But that's me. Otherwise, you need to explain to your son the reasons why you can't so he can understand your boundaries. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/24 02:37 AM |
| 2 | My Wife Is In A ComaFar out, hope you're all doing okay. any updates? | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/24 02:28 AM |
| 4 | Curious to knowI recall it vaguely, and it does offer insights into how people behave and how power dynamics function, mostly in professional environments I think it would be a good career related book. A quick review of the basic tenants, a lot of it is commonsense to me but I think it leans heavily into manipulation, strategic deception, and often playing people against each other for political purposes. I tend to be genuine and authentic in an effort to be true to my own values, so not all of it aligns with… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/10/24 10:54 PM |
| 1 | Did coparenting get easier as time went on?Let go of the resentment if you can, it won't help you co parent. Having a good relationship as co parents is also something to celebrate, it'll be good for the kids. However, you shouldn't feel pressured into have her around if you don't want to. If you have boundaries, stick to them. If you don't want to share dinner with her on your nights, then don't. If you don't want her to come over when you have the kids, then tell her not to. She isn't your partner anymore, so you don't have to care abo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/10/24 09:39 PM |
| 4 | I think my wife is prepping to divorce me. Help me prepare.For the sake of your son and your own wellbeing, it is best to try and finish things amicably and aim for 50/50 arrangement and do as much as you can privately without involving lawyers, if possible. Certainly go and get legal advice, just don't want to be fighting it out in court if you can avoid it. Be gracious and flexible and understanding to reach that conclusion. Aim to become awesome co parents and don't put it onto the kids, they can't deal with adult drama. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/10/24 03:29 AM |
| 4 | AppreciationGlad you're almost at the finish line! Must be a big relief. I just got here after a very recent separation and had not spent much time on reddit for a long while. I am so much better for it and feel I'm handling my separation as best one can by learning from everybody else here. Going through it alone would be torture. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/10/24 12:58 AM |
| 4 | My scenarioMake a proposal to her on the care arrangements. Ideally you want something that is going to work for both of you. I think it's important that you do 50/50, not just for the sake of the kids but also so you can have half your time back to rebuild your own life. Your soon to be ex-wife will need to make some changes, otherwise you may end up having them more often and you should be paid some kind of child support for that. My co parent arrangement is two consecutive weekdays each then alternate t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/10/24 12:47 AM |
| 4 | I’m going through the house and separating all of her stuff from mine. Happy 8 months separated to me.It gets easier to tell people the more you do it. I haven't told anybody at work, since it's none of their business, but also, I don't want to put my drama onto them - same as you. But there have been times I've had to explain I'm separating, and it's okay in the end. I've also listen to some people go on and on about their divorce or custody with the kids and I listen now with new interest and they soon ask me "how are you and what's her name" and so I tell them. I've contacted friends to let t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/24 02:44 AM |
| 5 | Checked her social mediaIt's okay to feel negative emotions. Just let them happen, let them wash over you like a wave and ride them to the shoreline. The healthy thing is to not stay in those emotions longer than you have to. When you feel ready, put it behind you, shrug it off, disconnect from her social media, and fill your life with positivity and adventure. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/24 02:22 AM |
| 1 | Almost at the finish lineAll the advice I've had from separated and divorced friends and family is keep emotions out of it, keep it chill, aim for 50/50 on everything, and be willing to be flexible so you can both have a soft landing and work together as co parents for the sake of the kids. Wish me luck, I'm about a month into my separation and trying to get ahead of it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/24 12:19 AM |
| 9 | Let me introduce myself...If she isn't your partner anymore, you don't have to care about her, and it appears she already doesn't care about you. So you need to be selfish right now and do things to support yourself because nobody else is going to. It's nice to have family and friends but in the end you have to go through this part alone, nobody is going to save you. It's time to take back your pride and start making your own demands. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 10:29 PM |
| 7 | Divorcing a depressed wifeThe thing is, if she isn't your partner anymore you don't have to care about her. She will have to find a new support network that will help with that. She is an adult, you've done your best, you tried everything, and can go on with your life with your head held high. I'm also in a similar situation, a soon to be ex-wife that is divorcing me because she isn't in love or some bs and has a lot of mental health issues, however the horse has bolted for me. I'm off the hook and not going back. I'm ne… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/24 09:36 PM |
| 2 | Still mentally fucked upHope is everything. It sucks to be in your situation, it is tough and every day feels like a battle. Be kind to yourself. That critical voice in your head that keeps putting you down, it can be so loud. Don't think too far ahead, just plan day to day, week to week, month to month. It's possible to recover, but it takes hard work. Put your energy into things that will make you feel good and improve your blood chem. Everyday, invest in high quality actions that will give you that good feeling slow… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/10/24 09:53 PM |
| 7 | Still mentally fucked upHeaps and heaps of kids have separated parents and are thriving. Your kids need you man, it's time you got to work and get organized. They will be so much worse off without you in their lives. Your kids will be fine, they're resilient, but you got to get some help for yourself and get back on track. It's possible, little bits every day. I hope you feel better, it's important to go get help if you're struggling. There are people that will help you. I've suffered from major depression and PTSD mys… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/10/24 09:42 PM |
| 3 | Soon to be divorce dad. Could use some honest advice. ThanksBest advice I got was to accept it, forgive her and let go of the resentment so you can stay positive, and start moving on with your life immediately by making plans and getting the life admin out of the way. You and your kids will be fine, welcome to the majority. Kids from separated and blended families is pretty much normal. Telling them mum an dad are breaking up will hurt everybody, but it will be okay. But what you can do for your kids in my opinion is two things: 1. don't have them also r… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/10/24 02:14 AM |
| 3 | It's Over - LoveIt's okay to be alone for a while. It might help to get some therapy or look into attachment theory. Have you tried that? I'd highly recommend giving four sessions with a male psychoanalyst a try. It might help you understand yourself better, if you want to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/10/24 03:54 AM |
| 4 | Finances after separationare the utilities in your name? If so, you need to fix that asap and separate everything so that she has her stuff in her name and you have your stuff in your name. These bills should not be in both of your names, you're not in a partnership anymore. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/10/24 01:47 AM |
| 17 | 'Not in love'Yep. I’m keen to get on with it. I have a bright future ahead and not looking back. What else should I do, wallow in self pity and regret for the past. We had a fairy tale marriage and two beautiful kids. I’m grateful for that, now onto the next chapter. I want certainty again, so I’m working towards that. It helps to have a side chick too after separation, very validating to have somebody that enjoys being with me. I work in high stress and high uncertainty, so I think I have lots of good copin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/10/24 12:17 AM |
| 22 | 'Not in love'I felt the same way a few weeks ago when my soon to be ex-wife asked to separate. She said the same thing. I understand now that losing that attraction and admiration in a relationship makes it all feel like it's not worth it, and why stay together if it doesn't seem genuine. You are struggling with the sunk cost, you've invested heavily for what ... nothing? Best advice I could give is that you should just forgive her so you can move forward with positivity and not be anchored down with resentm… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 11:55 PM |
| 5 | My wife is begging me now to stopt the divorce process!She's just scared and wants something familiar. Just tell her it'll be okay and that you both have an opportunity to start something new and exciting. Many people would rather know they're miserable than risk being happy, and misery loves company. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/24 03:16 AM |
| 2 | Man this shit sucksForgive her | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/24 02:35 AM |
| 3 | Not divorced but seperatedconsider you need to do more work on yourself and need to still recover from burnout? | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/24 01:39 PM |
| 14 | Spiteful things your wife does?She isn’t your partner anymore, you are not her partner - you have separated now. That means she doesn’t have to care about you anymore, and you don’t have to care about her either. Be selfish and do your own things the same as her. Speed things up and get out of there | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/24 07:43 AM |
| 5 | Soon-to-be Ex-Wife Wasn't Honest About Our Separation with Her FamilyYeah, she is scared - I know that for sure and it's not that surprising. Now she will be expected to do it alone, I'm not the plan A anymore. I could never love her again so even if she did have a change of heart, it's over. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/24 01:14 AM |
| 2 | Soon-to-be Ex-Wife Wasn't Honest About Our Separation with Her FamilyI wish I'd thought of it sooner and been more prepared but it doesn't really matter now and I'll be okay. thanks for the support. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/24 12:16 AM |
| 2 | Soon-to-be Ex-Wife Wasn't Honest About Our Separation with Her FamilyThat's a fair perspective. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/10/24 12:03 AM |
| 4 | Soon-to-be Ex-Wife Wasn't Honest About Our Separation with Her FamilyYou're spot on. She made the first move, I never would have. I took the vows seriously, for better or worse. The horse has bolted now. For further context: Anyone else quickly feel happy after their wife asked to separate? : r/DivorcedDads (reddit.com) | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/24 11:52 PM |
| 4 | Soon-to-be Ex-Wife Wasn't Honest About Our Separation with Her FamilyI feel exactly the same. She threw it all away while I never stopped giving my all and my best. I knew she didn't love me, and I tried everything I could think of to change that. I can hold my head high knowing I did everything, and then some. I'm sailing ahead with positivity and looking forward to having my freedom back. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/24 11:33 PM |
| 3 | Soon-to-be Ex-Wife Wasn't Honest About Our Separation with Her Familythat's why I'm a bit torn, I'm an honest person and value being authentic. But I'm also worried about my kids and that their mother will continue to be involved in all our lives for many years ahead. If I can separate without too much animosity, things will be easier. However, I don't like to compromise on my integrity. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/24 10:50 PM |
| 2 | Soon-to-be Ex-Wife Wasn't Honest About Our Separation with Her FamilyFor some added context: Anyone else quickly feel happy after their wife asked to separate? : r/DivorcedDads (reddit.com) I don't really care what she tells them but more how I respond. I'm of the belief that I should keep things calm and chill for as long as possible until we finalise a few things. If our relationship becomes icy, I believe it will be harder - particularly for the kids. They are my number one focus. So I guess, for the sake of the kids, is it best to just go along with it, ignor… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/24 10:42 PM |
| 1 | I'm having a really hard time.You have to keep your sails up and add positivity into your life. She is not your partner anymore, you are not her partner anymore - you don't have to worry about her, put your own oxygen mask on first. For the sake of your kids, get out there. Join some interest groups, make coffee and lunch meetings at work, organize a get together and invite people to join you, plan a hike and invite whoever you can to go with you. Make it happen for yourself. Forget about her, you're taking different paths n… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/24 10:21 PM |
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