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monsieur_BEAN Archive

View 6 posts and 43 comments by monsieur_BEAN on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I’m with you there too, and I’m definitely trying to convince myself my current gf has good intentions for me. She certainly seems to be I don’t think it’s complete bull either but the stuff I see from it working are on people I have 0 interest in being around. I’m curious as to how you quit the conditioning/ how you think an LTR works
/r/ExRedPill05/05/19 08:06 PM
1

??
/r/ExRedPill05/05/19 06:16 PM
1

Thank you for your response & im with you on TRP. The funny thing is I can’t think of any cases in my actual life that reflect what it advocates for but the ideas are still stuck in my head & I’m definitely not ashamed of either of those things. I do feel upset with myself for exposing my feelings that way only because of potential consequences not embarrassment (I’ve told people in my life what happened & laughed with them about it so shame doesn’t play a role here thankfully). Good to hear tha…
/r/ExRedPill05/05/19 04:50 PM
2

I definitely can’t be more affectionate at the moment, but holding off a bit seems unfair too. That’s probably what I’ll end up doing until I can feel like I’ve gained a bit more control over myself and how to treat this relationship. I don’t know if she would call me on being distant but I’ve told her many times to let me know if somethings bothering her so I would hope she lets me know. Ultimately you’re probably right. Until an actual problem comes up I shouldn’t be too concerned & I’ll work …
/r/ExRedPill05/05/19 04:33 PM
1

I did mention that even I thought it was a bit early to say that yesterday morning & she didn’t seem too bothered by it. Like I mentioned she’s seemed like she’s over the moon & I don’t think I have to beat a dead horse with her about this. If she mentions it I’ll 100% tell her I’m uneasy about coming off as too needy but now I honestly just feel like pulling away from her while I figure out how to proceed from here
/r/ExRedPill05/05/19 04:15 PM
1

Of course; that’s how I meant it & we both agreed that’s the end goal of any relationship so I’m hoping that’s the only way she took it as that’s all I meant. I’m not a clingy boyfriend (it’s actually a fear of mine) & shes been acting even sweeter now than after so I think she took it well but I’m at a loss as to whether or not I should be more affectionate now or hold off a bit because I really don’t want to scare her away regardless of what she said to me about feeling the same
/r/ExRedPill05/05/19 03:06 PM
1

That also makes me happy to hear! Congrats on having a fantastic relationship with your husband. When did that conversation come about? That’s probably my main fear here (having said that so early even if I was talking about the distant future)
/r/ExRedPill05/05/19 01:58 PM
2

That’s reassuring. Even if you’re not my girlfriend obviously it’s nice to know that someone isn’t repulsed by the same things I believed would repulse any woman previously. As far as rushing goes even in my drunken state I told her that’s not happening anytime soon so I’m not worried about that at all & sure she isn’t either. Have you ever had something similar happen to you?
/r/ExRedPill05/05/19 01:49 PM
2

More so having somelne tell you they want to marry you in the future instead of an intimate conversation. We have those all the time & they’re fine this one obviously felt a bit more grandiose & kept going for about an hour
/r/ExRedPill05/05/19 12:51 PM
2

I love those conversations too, and I hope she wasn’t put off. You’re definitely right in saying she hasn’t given me reason to believe she was upset or put off. She did mention an ex of hers did the same thing very early which made her uneasy (me too when I heard about it lol) but i asked her about it that night & she said it wasn’t the same thing. She’s been acting pleasantly so I’ll do my best to believe she’s being honest with me Out of curiosity What would you have done in this situation?
/r/ExRedPill05/05/19 12:25 PM
1

Nothing else to say?
/r/ExRedPill05/05/19 02:41 AM
1

I’ve never once in my life wanted an archetypal TRP relationship, and still don’t, but the layout of the female psyche outlined there, while still illogical to me, was outlined with the rules I needed to try and navigate dating and relationships. What is your take on TRP anyways? What did you mean by the fact that I’m both of those people?
/r/ExRedPill04/05/19 10:08 PM
1

I agree with your rule for sure & I abide by the same one myself & ultimately you’re right. I just have a lot of difficulty opening up to people especially about this stuff & if she’s put off by it I’d understand & be ok with it for sure. I suppose I just needed to know whether or not making such a promise isn’t actually the death seal TRP would say it is. Mind If I ask why your previous relationships didn’t work for you?
/r/ExRedPill04/05/19 09:30 PM
1

That’s not very nice lol & the point of a relationship in my eyes is to see if you have a future with someone so sucks to hear about the first loves you know but hopefully that won’t be me or us if it does work out
/r/ExRedPill22/03/19 12:29 AM
1

Thank you for such a long and passionate response. As seen from the edit I just posted, yesterday was a bit rough (but ultimately still fine, I did have sex with my girlfriend before we talked about the lack of I love you's), and I think I'm just afraid of my relationship being a bit too real right now (we're only 20 but have similar views in that we both want to be in a long relationship even from our young years), and seeing that playlist essentially made me feel as if I bit off more than I ca…
/r/ExRedPill20/03/19 09:02 PM
1

That’s all valid and fair, and I’m honestly unsure about how she’d react, with the chances of her responding positively being equal to the negative. As of now I’ve always been the rock and unemotional one in our relationship (typically I’m unemotional to the point people think I don’t have any) and so this would be a massive tone shift I don’t know how she’d react to, which is why I’m afraid of what might happen if I were to talk about these fears
/r/ExRedPill20/03/19 05:12 PM
2

This is a beautiful response, thank you. Hearing what you had to say (along with the other beautiful responses in here) have been really illuminating to me, and make me realize that its okay to have emotional moments. I've been vulnerable with my girlfriend in the sense that I've told her exactly what i want from our relationship, and I've also told her how I would like to be loved (similar to what you said in that I like to be shown off on social media) and i've felt good about doing so, but wh…
/r/ExRedPill20/03/19 04:35 PM
1

That’s all good advice too, and this problem is coming from me asking my girlfriend to be more open with me too (as I have with her). I thought that being open with our intense emotions was a smart idea & would help me bond with her, but seeing her playlist with all these songs about love & halfheartedly returning the favor for her with a bunch of music about love and the future makes me really scared, so I feel like I can’t go back on my initial decision to promote openness between her and I, e…
/r/ExRedPill19/03/19 05:53 PM
1

This is fantastic advice, thank you. Part of it is true in that I don’t want us to split. What has vulnerability in your relationships looked like?
/r/ExRedPill19/03/19 02:50 PM
1

For sure I would, and part of the problem lies in the fact that generally I am the “douchey” guy which makes it hard to strike a balance between that and being an emotionally open guy. I’m at a crossroads, and the why does matter to me because if we break up I know I can find other people to be with for sure, but it’d feel like a lot of wasted potential if that makes sense
/r/ExRedPill19/03/19 02:04 PM
1

I thought I was okay with being vulnerable but this is just a line I’m not comfortable crossing with something as intimate as music, and now I feel like it’ll be hard to lower the intimacy and intensity between us, but I’m also well aware talking to her about it would be the end of our relationship as I don’t think either of us could bounce back after that. The songs she gave had little relevance to our relationship itself, but are all about love itself, which makes the relationship a bit heavy …
/r/ExRedPill19/03/19 02:00 PM
1

I’m okay with losing her, but I guess the problem lies within why I’d be losing her. I’m not okay with losing someone because I’ve tried to meet their needs, nor am I okay with losing someone for being what I think is a good boyfriend, especially if what I’m doing is stuff that feels foreign to me especially because of the TRP conditioning I had before
/r/ExRedPill19/03/19 01:42 PM
3

Its not about crying really but more about being emotional in general; seeing the crying examples just made me regret being emotional with her in general. Thank you for being an example that some women are okay with guys being emotional. I can’t control what my girl thinks obviously, but knowing there are some who are okay with their guys being emotionally open and vulnerable with them
/r/ExRedPill19/03/19 12:50 PM
1

That’s very in-depth, and ultimately my fears come down to two things: one being these deep feelings make it feel like I’m playing for real now with my girlfriend, and that it’s not just “blossoming romance” but a bit more real than that. The other fear is still ingrained from TRP, and I’m scared being too affectionate and lovey with my girl will fuck me over in the long run with her. I’m also just generally not into being overly romantic but I’ve been doing it because that’s what she says she w…
/r/ExRedPill19/03/19 12:40 PM
1

No doubt; emotionally I’m pretty open but sexually I’m pretty forward & dominant which also creates an odd juxtaposition but I’m cool with it
/r/ExRedPill19/03/19 12:33 PM
1

We’ve already said our “I love you”’s , and I had a similar reaction to that situation even if I did say it back; having both her playlist and mine on Spotify serve as a reminder of this discomfort & makes me feel vulnerable & insecure 24/7
/r/ExRedPill19/03/19 12:31 PM
3

I definitely agree with you in principle, and again I’ve never cried in front of her anyways, but those were just the examples I was seeing yesterday that made me feel even worse. What I’m really worried about right now is the loving music & compliments I’ve been giving her fucking me over. I’m scared I’ve been too affectionate (not that she hasn’t matched me in that regard) & I’m not sure what to do about it
/r/ExRedPill19/03/19 12:07 PM
1

Thank you for the response! I’ve never been afraid of being vulnerable with how I feel and think in my relationship (quite the opposite actually; if she doesn’t agree or isn’t into my world views then she’s free to leave & that’d be for the best) but this felt like a step too far for me & im way out of my comfort zone making her a playlist with such intimate music, and seeing the music she dedicated to me also scared the shit out of me. I’m not comfortable being that romantic, and I’m also very …
/r/ExRedPill19/03/19 12:03 PM
2

beta tears? actually, dread game wasn't one of the concepts I was particularly bothered by when it came to RP, but rather generalizations about people (such as alpha/beta, AWALT, and the idea that people can be seen as predictable based on gender as opposed to basing people off individual merits). I'll definitely shoot you a message if there's anything else that troubles me. Thanks again for the response!
/r/ExRedPill20/10/18 07:14 PM
2

thank you for the list! I'll be sure to look into all of these people. It's amazing that you could find this many scientists with theories that help snuff this nonsense out. Thanks :)
/r/ExRedPill20/10/18 04:44 PM
3

this helped a lot, and is honestly one of if not the best comment on this whole subreddit haha! thank you for posting all of this! I hope your comment gets stickied
/r/ExRedPill20/10/18 04:43 PM
4

that's a really interesting way of putting it, and I'm actually happy you raised that point to me, because I hadn't thought about it that way. I definitely think our own experiences make life worth living, and I definitely don't want to see life as a game. If anything, i made this thread to give more proof that life is subjective, and that we don't actually play by any rules in a game & to help free ourselves from the idea we're all in a social game a la TRP
/r/ExRedPill17/10/18 05:17 PM
2

I can't but I don't see why it's a problem. If you're on a dating site, even one with plenty of room for personality to be shown through your profile like OkCupid, it doesn't come as a shock to see that people would be likely to prefer good looking people on a dating site in which you can literally pick anyone listed on it & talk to them/try to date them. Why wouldn't you prefer someone who is more attractive to you when the choice is completely yours?
/r/ExRedPill17/10/18 05:04 PM
4

there aren't any scientific studies done regarding things such as human social hierarchies, love functions, and mating strategies? Whether or not results of such studies (should they exist) actually support the things we'd want to look at, it'd still be good to have a place to ask for studies of relevance
/r/ExRedPill17/10/18 04:11 PM
4

Anecdotes are all well and good,and definitely seem like they have their place here, but I don't know whether or not they're enough. Personally I've been off RP (and Reddit as a whole) for about 3 months, and I've been doing great, but simply hearing the word Alpha and Beta the other day brought me back a bit, so I figured I'd come here & ask for a request thread so that we can see more proof RP isn't particularly accurate whenever anyone might feel like they need some more reassurance
/r/ExRedPill17/10/18 03:53 PM
1

I definitely see where you're coming from, and I'm glad you emphasized it. I still think it's optimal for me to just ease up on responding to her in hopes she leaves me be, but if not, then letting her stay around wouldn't be the worst thing for my social reputation.
/r/askTRP06/02/18 03:08 PM
1

As for a legitimate method of hurting my reputation, I'd imagine slandering or making false claims about me to people who know me would happen if I were to ghost her out of the blue or go nuclear.
/r/askTRP06/02/18 02:53 PM
2

I think your points are solid, and that's a big part of why I won't just ghost her out of the blue or completely burn the bridge. That said, I'm not comfortable with leading someone on or dealing with the tension of having someone want me while not wanting anything to do with them.
/r/askTRP06/02/18 03:59 AM
1

definitely won't hang out with her again & I'll start responding less
/r/askTRP06/02/18 02:20 AM
1

Should it come to it, I'll definitely reiterate that I dont want any sort of relationship with her and hope she gets the message. I'll ease up on the responses and be more dry so she can hopefully lose interest
/r/askTRP06/02/18 02:18 AM
1

She did write a veeery good study guide lol but yeah from here on out I'll respond much less to her & definitely refuse any sort of hangouts with her. How'd your situation end?
/r/askTRP06/02/18 02:13 AM
2

I've already lied and told her I don't want a relationship because of a previous relationship, which i hoped would turn her off, but didn't really stop her in her tracks. If she does try to make things serious I'll either double down on my fake sadness or do that to dissuade her. Do you think doing things like being really positive/kind and replying to texts instantly will turn her off?
/r/askTRP05/02/18 10:58 PM
1

she knows a lot of people within my social group as well as a bunch of other people I'm acquainted with that I share classes with
/r/askTRP05/02/18 10:40 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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