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mrpnoob9718 Archive

View 4 posts and 67 comments by mrpnoob9718 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

My girl will occasionally say "you've changed" or "you're an asshole now." She used to say this all the time when I first started changing. But she attributes it to practicing MMA. I started MRP and MMA about the same time. I'm fine with her assuming it was 100% the MMA, when its more like 40% MMA, 60% MRP.
/r/askMRP10/03/16 03:19 PM
2

In general that's the wrong part to focus on. She'll also have said why, and it's the why that will cue you into if it is a shit test or a comfort test, and how to respond to it. If she says "you're an asshole" or "you're an asshole, I'm leaving", it just adds emphasis. For shit tests, it's just the standard: Mostly A&A or AM, sometimes pressure flip. "I'm leaving" can be a good hook for a pressure flip, but overall I'd avoid focusing on it. Yeah, I definitely need to work on this. I feel like r…
/r/askMRP07/01/16 03:45 PM
1

I'm leaving if you keep it up How do you typically respond to this? Do you try to lighten the situation or do you go hard, the door is open, I'm not forcing you to stay, etc. The real trick is to determine when it is a comfort test and when it is a shit test. The solution is not to be an actual asshole who triggers comfort tests and then proceeds to fail them (that's just another kind of trouble). Yeah, this latest episode ended with her saying she felt like I didn't like her anymore, and obviou…
/r/askMRP07/01/16 03:04 PM
1

The one plus that comes out of these tests is that I am constantly forced into maintaining a higher, stronger standard. After this latest bout, I now have no choice but to more aggressively (perhaps assertively is the right word) defend my boundaries. I'm improving, things in general are better, but I cannot let my guard down. It's almost as if she is sort of helping me become a better man by forcing me, i.e. "be a better man or be my bitch." Maybe I should thank her for her emotional meltdowns …
/r/askMRP07/01/16 01:20 PM
1

Since she pushed the "talk", I decided to clearly and explicity state my needs in life and out of the relationship, as in I need the ability to do things I want to do even if she does not want to do it as well, among others. I ended up using the Socratic type method as you said. Definitely could see it caught her off guard and she eventually just let it all go after fogging a bit more. Although at this point, I can't see this behavior ending without implementing what you recommended. Thanks agai…
/r/askMRP07/01/16 03:32 AM
2

Like drunken captain, I think we need another nickname for this syndrome. She wants you to be her party planner who suggests endless activities until one suits her current mood. I'll bet she does this with dinner plans too. She doesn't want what you first suggest, but she wants you to present ideas for her until she hears one she likes—as if you're some sort of servant giving options to a queen. God damn that is so fucking accurate. And I've fucking tolerated it. How long has this been happening…
/r/askMRP06/01/16 06:12 PM
1

Excellent point. We had done so many activities together that were an absolute blast over the holidays, in which we flirted, joked, laughed and genuinely had a fun, a typically "romantic" time. TBH, the bike ride was a simple thing for me to do midday, and you're right, she probably would not have much fun joining me. However, is it normal for me to have to plan out an exciting fun day for her EVERY day? Especially lazy sundays after a long event-filled holiday season? Maybe that is what you guy…
/r/askMRP06/01/16 04:11 PM
3

You're right. Sometimes we just need to do separate shit, and that is NORMAL. Sometimes we will NOT want to do the same shit.
/r/askMRP06/01/16 04:02 PM
3

Right on, man. It seems like the decision really lies with her, not me. It really sucks that I put her through years of BP failure. Sucks for both of us.
/r/askMRP06/01/16 03:59 PM
6

Shit I am owning: Exercise of all sorts: weights, martial arts, biking. High frequency. Waking up earlier to accomplish more goals. Begun studying for exams that will improve my career options dramatically. (This is a long term goal; I must stick to this.) Maintain control over my emotions, I am calm within the storm around me, and thus I will have a better shot at digging myself out of the hole I am in. Shit I need to own: Today is day 3 of silent treatment from LTR. Her negative attitude and n…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/16 01:43 PM
2

after the bedroom dies for awhile, it's awkward to try and reboot things. Yeah, I felt the same way. After a BP dryspell, I wouldn't know what to do, overthink it, fear rejection.. and that awkwardness in your mind inevitably spills into your body language, and she can sense it.. and she fucking hates that. You must be confident and truly not GAF if you are turned down. Although I will admit this is easier said than done, especially if you start getting easily pissed early on, but you are trying…
/r/askMRP05/01/16 01:17 PM
2

That's something my dad once told me. Attack each piece, one by one, with intensity and eventually you will get through the mountain of shit. It is the only way. If you keep focusing on the mountain, you'll lose hope.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/12/15 06:46 PM
3

Solid fucking post. I find that my attitude at the exact moment when I wake up can often set the tone for my entire day. For example, if I leap out of bed at the first alarm, I'll usually attack the tasks of my day with focus and determination. If on the other hand, I wake up and hit snooze, I start to think about how much shit I have to do, how there's no way I can get it done, anxiety, can't focus on my immediate tasks, etc...
/r/MarriedRedPill30/12/15 06:35 PM
3

Ok, I am in the beginning stages of where you started out. I am currently unmarried, no kids. I do want a family and would absolutely not marry until kids are in the playbook. However, my map is to massively improve prior to starting a family. My GF has been changing as I change. She was once a semi-feminist but is slowly dropping that shit (at least around me). She is even acting and presenting herself in a more feminine way, as I become more masculine. It's crazy to observe that as I make stri…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/15 06:00 PM
3

Were you "red pill" prior to your relationship with your wife? Also, was your wife once a feminist, and changed her views, or was she always generally feminine/submissive?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/15 05:29 PM
1

Yeah, like others have said, this appears to be a religious issue. You say you want "sex on the table" without attachments or commitments, but you won't pursue creating that because it goes against your religion, so you're at a stalemate. I don't have much advice for you. I'm assuming you've attempted talking about this with like-minded religious peers?
/r/askMRP22/12/15 05:27 PM
1

Ok, glad I misunderstood. In that case, you need to read NMMNG, and work on yourself. You are being a typical "nice guy" to her, buying her gifts and treating her as a delicate flower not to be defiled by a sexual touch. You need to sort that out. Reclaim your masculinity and own the fact that you wanna fuck. You also seem like you have some sort of one-itis for this girl, you need to develop an abundance mentality. Read NMMNG asap.
/r/askMRP22/12/15 03:31 PM
1

She's staying in Europe and you're moving to NA. LDR's are really not healthy at all. http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/20/letting-go-of-invisible-friend/ You don't need to be a dick or jerk to her. You just need to live a healthy happy life, and an LDR is not the way to do that.
/r/askMRP22/12/15 03:11 PM
3

OP needs to answer this first and foremost. How long has OP implemented each level of dread? https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2lpafb/the_12_step_plan_of_dread_book_excerpt_from_my/
/r/askMRP21/12/15 06:03 PM
2

I used to apologize for everything. I used to apologize when every bit of me knew that I shouldn't be apologizing; I had done no wrong. Now, I look at it this way, "I could apologize to you, but that apology would be a lie, since there would be zero sincerity to it." Would she prefer a fake apology or a real no apology? Frankly, doesn't matter what she wants either way, be true to your self.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/15 07:00 PM
9

I have gone through your exact scenario. Continuous OI after rejection finally lead to her blowing up on me and crying saying she feels unloved, and that I am an asshole.. and I had to calmly explain that I don't feel like cuddling after being rejected, no big deal. Key thing is to be calm, stoic, and relaxed. You are simply being HONEST. Though, she still tries to pull this stuff every now and then "lets just cuddle" or "lets just talk." Eventually you can get playful with it and just say "I'd …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/15 04:13 PM
2

That second one is great. I'm having trouble with AA lately cause I suck at coming up with funny shit right in the moment. That'd be gold if said with zero pause after her.
/r/askMRP17/12/15 11:08 PM
2

You have quite a following of obsessive haters LOL. The funny part is, your interaction was overall simple and straight forward. Not sure how that could be interpreted as fairy tale nonsense.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/15 05:04 PM
1

Where's her Carrot? Makes sense. I've been putting tons of effort into improving, but unfortunately it's only been a little bit of time since I've woke the fuck up and decided to be the high quality man I was meant to be.
/r/askMRP09/12/15 02:43 PM
1

Is THAT what your wife is doing? Yes, absolutely that is what she is doing. In fact, the scenario you described (her in her underwear getting on me then coldly rejecting escalation) just played out to a T two hours ago. You're absolutely right that I must have been giving more commitment than she is giving sex. Which needs to change ASAP.
/r/askMRP09/12/15 02:39 PM
1

I never understood the praise for functional strength. If it wasn't for judo, the only time in my life I ever need more strength is when I'm lifting. So I don't know why I wouldn't just stick to lifting? I could have delved into the benefits of KBs better. I find they really increase my core strength and endurance, balance, flexibility. They are not the be-all end-all exercise of course, but I find they really help in conditioning, especially in a martial art as you stated. You lose fat by being…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/15 04:18 PM
4

Warning to those who take on this challenge: Wear good quality snug workout gloves that cover the area of your palm directly where the fingers meet. If you jump into a 10,000 swing workout with any significant amount of weight without prior KB experience (or even with experience!) you will tear the shit out of your hand. The injury will prevent you from doing any swings until it heals which could take a good week or so, thus destroying all your momentum. In addition, pay attention to proper form…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/15 03:12 PM
1

You are absolutely right. I edited the main post with an update for anyone curious.
/r/askMRP06/12/15 02:31 PM
1

Thank you! The "come to bed" line would have been perfect.. And youre right, I can't shake my inner anxiety, but its a lot better than it used to be.
/r/askMRP04/12/15 10:59 PM
1

Thanks for your input. I have no intention of proposing anytime soon, and the only scenario in which I would want marriage is one in which we are planning on raising a family. I don't see the point otherwise. Perhaps there is an unconscious one-itis in my mind, but I would like to at least give this relationship a chance as I become more comfortable with my more masculine self. I'm willing to take it a bit further, and I can't expect her to immediately adjust to the new me after only 3 months, c…
/r/askMRP04/12/15 10:16 PM
3

Thanks. Really calms my nerves to hear this. I have no RP minded people to discuss this with in real life at the moment, so at times I feel entirely isolated which leads to the "male hamster overdrive."
/r/askMRP04/12/15 09:09 PM
2

Remember, this is all your fault for being a lifetime BP. [...] her strategy is to maintain your commitment either by dominating you or being submissive to your lead. I really feel like this is the case here. I've been BP so long and she wants to maintain control of me, so she's putting on a huge show to beat me back into control. But that control leads to destroying my self-identity, and sacrificing my happiness. I can't and won't let that happen.
/r/askMRP04/12/15 08:45 PM
1

How long have the two of you been together and lived together? How old are you? Been together 4.5 yrs, lived together 3. 29(me)/27(her) Perhaps you are right. I need to clearly and explicitly state expectations. I'll have to do a lot more introspection as well, but in the meantime, I'll attempt to weather this storm. In all honesty, she rarely throws these nuclear style fits, maybe happens once per year. Pre-RP me always gave in tho, apologized and said I'd be more understanding of her feelings,…
/r/askMRP04/12/15 07:37 PM
1

MMSLP talks about if a woman is cheating she may blow her husband during ovulation while getting banged by another dude to make sure the other guys' sperm "wins". All part of the unconscious sexual body agenda. Although I would be hesistant to immediately assume that, considering the frequency of sex going on anyway...
/r/askMRP17/11/15 10:33 PM
1

Thanks for the insights, appreciate it! I'll start implementing what you suggested, easing into everything, trying to avoid a breakneck speed 180. Sounds like things are progressing nicely! I swear its like textbook with this stuff; I read member's beginning FR's and it's like I'm reading my own diary or something. From her dreams of me cheating, to beta bait "need to be nice" comments, and more. As much as I want things to get better at a faster rate, I know it comes with time, specifically tim…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/15 07:11 PM
1

If you're not at Sex God Method, then that is a great one. That shit really works. I have read about half of it, and used some stuff from it with success. Other techniques seem like they would massively backfire at this point. For example, I'll pull her hair, pin her down, manhandle her, smack her ass, etc, but I have a feeling she does not view me as alpha enough to start calling her "my dirty little slut" or similar. Though, I'll get to that eventually. I do need to finish that book. If you've…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/15 05:16 PM
1

Standard stuff. She gets excited with her better beta, then after a while she ramps up the shit tests to see if you're alpha. You failed to hold frame and you're slipping back to unfuckable status. Yeah, this is currently what I am going through. When I first began "alpha-ing up", we fucked the best we ever had, even better than when we first met. It was almost every day at one point. Now, we still fuck, but holy shit.. so much fucking LMR at night. She'll either say "you need to be nice to me" …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/15 02:10 PM
2

I would like to re-iterate the importance of keeping cool during the anger phase and taking that time just absorbing everything you can like a sponge. I believe I am mostly over it now, but in the beginning I could have blown up the relationship somewhat easily. /u/Quarter_Century_Club : Have you read http://therationalmale.com/2012/09/10/men-in-love/ and http://therationalmale.com/2011/12/27/women-in-love/ ? These won't cure your anger immediately, but over time you may find yourself accepting …
/r/askMRP02/11/15 06:39 PM
2

http://therationalmale.com/2013/12/03/saving-the-best/
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/15 10:31 PM
2

I get all wound up and self-righteous and realize I'm just as much, if not more, to blame. It blows, because no one has ever said that shit to me, except TRP. Yes, this place and NMMNG in particular were a god-send to me. I seriously felt like the world changed around me after reading NMMNG. I let everyone around me including the women in my life determine my moods, feelings, etc. and I'd do everything I could to make everyone happy. Now, I'm not necessarily an asshole, but I try to be the most …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/15 06:08 PM
7

Agreed, when I initially started reading about AF/BB, it was traumatic and I was furious and upset at the same time. It was all true, and I was pissed. I still sometimes get pissed, like when I read about that guy who was in a sexless marriage for years and years and then he found a video of his wife getting gang-banged by 5 dudes and loving it. That shit still gets to me. It's like what nightmares are made of. Edit: And that scenario didn't even happen to me, yet I was still fucking furious.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/15 05:08 PM
2

Even if you are an objective 8 she most likely does not see you as an 8 or else she'd be initiating to fuck you if she is a 6.
/r/askMRP12/10/15 04:20 PM
1

No I have never turned down actual sex for porn, or used porn to the point where I avoid initiating. So at least I got that going for me.
/r/askMRP10/10/15 02:09 PM
3

Well put. Its a coping mechanism.
/r/askMRP10/10/15 02:02 PM
2

wanting to murder everyone because I haven't cum in 2 months. Ha! This does sound like a good idea. I will try this. I don't think cold turkey or permanently writing off porn/fapping is really what I want to do at this point, but who knows what I'll think a month from now. This is a new lifestyle and I'm definitely still adjusting to the flow.
/r/askMRP09/10/15 06:25 PM
1

Wow, this hit the nail on the head. Its only been very recently that Ive been telling her what to do in bed, like positions we've never tried before. Bending her over random furniture and putting her on her knees and things I told myself as a beta that "she would feel disrespected." But she's been more into the sex than ever before. Although I am having trouble keeping it consistent. Denials are now increasing, maybe I got too comfortable. But hopefully I can get to that point where I dont even …
/r/askMRP09/10/15 02:07 PM
1

Now this is something I really need to read!
/r/askMRP09/10/15 01:42 PM
1

I too have done this but then when I do pop on her, its not as dramatic and messy. Can't win.
/r/askMRP09/10/15 01:41 PM
2

Great point. I used to video game frequently, and I quit that more or less simultaneously as I started RP, without much of a thought either. I look at gaming as wasted time now, but porn has lingered. I'll check out the illimitable man's content on this. Thanks.
/r/askMRP09/10/15 01:29 PM
1

Now that you mention it, I never explicitly told my gf that I even watch porn. Which is weird, I feel like I'm hiding it. This could be a good idea to also bring it out in the open, and get rid of the shame of it, though I'll have to think about a good way of approaching this.
/r/askMRP09/10/15 01:07 PM
1

I remember him saying it can be used to get one or both partners heated up and occasional use isn't an issue, but you're right, I reread that section, and he states it can potentially become an issue.
/r/askMRP09/10/15 01:00 PM
2

Most likely, if you're wondering if it's a problem you've crossed that threshold. I think this may be it. In NMMNG, there is talk about nice guys being obsessed with porn, and while it may not be always a bad thing, I think in my case it may have went from a casual, recreational, occasional thing, to a "need." Perhaps I may be better off abstaining from porn for a while to get a clear head and think about why I want to view it so much. Perhaps it's less about the simple fun and enjoyment, and mo…
/r/askMRP09/10/15 12:47 PM
2

right, it's always when we're both at work i get these texts sprinkled throughout the day.. i feel like a broken record cause i just keep repeating "yup.. sucks"
/r/askMRP06/10/15 09:07 PM
3

I get "this day is dragging..." or something similar like 8 times every day. I'm not really sure what to respond with either. Most times I write "yeah.. sucks" I'm in the same boat as you. edit: I'm not saying I'm doing it right either. I'm not sure what the "correct" way to handle this is.
/r/askMRP06/10/15 09:00 PM
8

Sort of like how Athol Kay mentions you need alpha but also some beta qualities when it comes to marriage/LTRs. I'm still trying to find the balance myself but personally I am currently much more beta, working on increasing the alpha.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 05:39 PM
1

I'm with you, after a few days of reading RP material, askMRP was my go-to for some quick solid advice from people with more experience. Much better to post at askMRP than here for beginner stuff.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 02:01 PM
2

That sounds like a great idea. Thanks for the suggestion.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/15 09:45 PM
2

I have read NMMNG, TWOTSM, and about a third of MMSLP. I have WISNIFG and have yet to start but look forward to it. I feel like I have read so much in the past two weeks I have been learning a lot but havent really internalized everything just yet. There are days I feel more confident, some where I just fake it. That book is next on my list and I am planning to join a martial art club as soon as possible. I have upped my workouts tremendously. I'm starting to feel alive again but disgusted with …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/15 08:49 PM
6

Wow, great write up. I am very very early in this process and needed to hear this. While sex has increased slightly for me, I seem to keep gauging my progress based on frequency of sex. As you put it, I keep "looking over my shoulder." I need more focus on my self improvement. More DGAF about external validation. Thanks for sharing.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/15 06:44 PM
1

Where can I listen to this podcast?
/r/askMRP31/08/15 02:42 PM
1

I second keeping it as cash so it truly is immediately available. Personally I take it one step further and make cash purchases for gold or silver coins. These are easily liquidated and tend to retain value well without too much major fluctuation in value, although some may disagree with this strategy.
/r/askMRP30/08/15 12:22 AM
2

As an aside, sitting on the couch beside each other, silently facing forward is not a relationship. Sitting there in front of the TV just so you can spend time together is ridiculous. It's a pet peeve of mine, and was one of the triggers for me to rediscover the red pill strategies. This is exactly how I feel, and it is a HUGE source of dissatisfaction in my life. But it has not always been this way. Things used to be more exciting, but now that we live together, it's almost as if neither of us …
/r/askMRP29/08/15 04:07 PM
1

I am looking forward to light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for sharing your experience.
/r/askMRP29/08/15 04:03 PM
2

At this point, I still do think she is worth a damn. Despite this episode, she is usually fun, social and energetic. She encourages exercise at times, as opposed to me encouraging, and she really puts effort into housework, improving herself (she is studying for her licensing exams), and can be a source of motivation for me. Despite that, I feel there is some unwritten rule that when I am not at work, I must spend 100% of my time with her and keep her entertained and occupied. It doesn't feel ri…
/r/askMRP29/08/15 04:01 PM
1

That sounds like a good idea. I tried "renegotiating" so many times, rather than just throw the invite out and leave it at that.
/r/askMRP29/08/15 03:53 PM
2

I like the way you talk. I asked my friend last night about this situation and he said when his fiancee gets upset like this, she always tells him that he should have pushed her harder, prodded her to come out and socialize. It just felt like terrible advice. I have come to terms that I am a pussy and the more I reflect, the more I realize I have always been this way, it's like its ingrained in me. NMMNG is really speaking to me directly and it feels like I'm finally becoming aware that I am doi…
/r/askMRP29/08/15 03:50 PM
1

Thank you very much. I appreciate your straight honesty. I am trying to get through the books as fast as possible but it has only been a few days and I already feel like something within me has awakened. I posted this obviously BP post because I did not expect to get silent treatment this soon and I do not want to just sabotage this LTR as she is important to me. However I want to start being honest with myself and what I want out of life while simultaneously not just giving her the impression t…
/r/askMRP29/08/15 05:54 AM
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