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mshark2 Archive

View 4 posts and 72 comments by mshark2 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Same! Been through it. Still going through it. I feel for you bro. Codependency sucks. Controlling and manipulating wives suck too. I suck also because I allowed it. I allowed her to slowly take my manhood, isolate me from family and friends, keep my kids away from their grandparents, forbid me from pursuing any pleasure or passion outside of working and providing …while she never worked full time …ever. Always a part time job for decades. She did cook and clean. I give her that. So did I. Anywa…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 04:12 AM
7

I needed to hear this too. Thank you! I worked and paid bills and helped raise kids for almost 3 decades. Now, on my own, I realize I never really developed relationships, friendships, etc…was isolated and manipulated and controlled. Kind of starting over …and I’m almost 49 years old. Ugh. I know there is some light at the end of the tunnel…but man the depression can suck ass sometimes.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 02:05 AM
5

Dude!! Great advice! I’m learning (trying to) be happy on my own. Content …without relying on a woman to make me feel …”whole”….don’t get me wrong …I wipe my own ass and all ….be separated for 3 years ….not never truly experienced “loneliness” until this separation (after a long marriage). The “learning to be happy and content” with myself is taking longer than expected. Thank you for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 03:27 AM
2

Did your wife want the divorce? Mine does not, but I feel it is best. Of course …second guessing is the worst. Just curious. Nevertheless, happy that you are decisive and confident in your decision. It sucks to be stuck in ambivalence.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 04:09 AM
3

That’s inspiring! Be safe. Wish I had the courage to cut the cord. When I try, I get depressed and miss her.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 03:19 AM
6

I separated 2.5 years ago. Still have not worked up the nerve to file. Kids are grown. No obligations to her really. I’m sure there will be spousal maintenance. My issue is ripping the bandaid off. I’m more worried about hurting her feelings and me feeling guilty and lonely at times. So, I stay in limbo …this cycle of nothing. I work ….but don’t really engage in fun stuff with friends, etc….I almost wish I hated her …or she hated me …or she would file …would be easier.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 02:02 AM
–

I appreciate you sharing and your thoughts. Good stuff. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 10:30 AM
1

Thank you for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 02:02 AM
1

Good food for thought. Thank you so much.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 02:02 AM
1

Much appreciated. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 09:14 PM
1

Thank you for sharing and for the input.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 09:14 PM
3

I agree not everybody that uses porn will be addicted. It does wire your brain to crave more of that dopamine….like booze (as you say) or other drugs. It wants more and more. That’s why some men (and women) “escalate” because that original shot of dopamine is not enough and before you know it (like drug addicts) they are consuming more and more until it destroys real intimacy and it affects men in other areas. It can contribute to men becoming “simps” with no confidence. It can cause a man to ha…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 06:55 PM
5

Hey man! Similar boat. Been separated 2.5 year (my choice). Wife was very controlling, manipulating, isolated me from family and friends. I’m 48, married (technically) almost 40 years. (Married right outta high school). It’s weird how things change when you’re on your own for awhile. The bad stuff seeps to the bottom and all you can ponder are the good things. She does not want the divorce. I am contemplating going back (everybody warns me not to). It gets lonely out here man. Even dating kinda …
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 08:39 AM
2

Point taken. I honestly feel that ….after reading the advice, talking with therapist, friends and family…. I have issues …mainly co-dependent and trauma bonding. I need to fix myself first. I don’t want to repeat the same patterns.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 07:00 PM
1

Good input. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 08:36 AM
1

Dude! This is enlightening, uplifting, challenging and convicting (in a good way). Going to read and re-read this again. Thank you so much.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 07:03 PM
0

Definitely not spam. Not even sure what you’re talking about. It’s pretty plain and clear what my dilemma is. Nevertheless, thanks for chiming in.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 06:45 PM
1

Good introspect. Appreciate you sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 06:36 PM
1

Thank you for the advice
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 06:35 PM
0

I was trying to get a broad group of readers to chime in. I thought that is what we are supposed to do on Reddit….post to the groups I belong to ….?? It only allowed 5. Sorry if I I did it wrong. 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 06:29 PM
2

Sounds similar to my situation.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 03:29 PM
1

Thank you for your input. Not sure what you mean by “troll.” I believe the “fallout” with the kids is definitely a factor.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 03:27 PM
1

I have no desire to be married, no.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 03:22 PM
1

Good perspective! Thank you for that.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 03:22 PM
1

Good question. Probably would feel some guilt. Got married at 18 years old. Lot of time together. Started out well…then all turned to shit. From what I read on here a lot….most relationships turn to shit. Discouraging
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 03:12 PM
1

That is discouraging.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 02:24 PM
2

Wow! This is eye opening. Didn’t look at it this way. Thank you for that perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 01:38 PM
1

This is inspiring! Thank you sir
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 01:35 PM
2

I appreciate the encouragement. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 01:11 PM
1

I like the way you put that. Thank you so much. I do appreciate my peace and independence. I guess I am more concerned with how she will end up. Hurt, living a downgraded lifestyle, etc….
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 01:02 PM
2

Terrific idea. Appreciate you sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 12:54 PM
1

Appreciate the advice! This community is really helping me process thoughts and put life into perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 12:54 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 12:35 PM
2

Good input. I will do that. Thank you so much.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 12:21 PM
1

Appreciate your advice!
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 12:20 PM
1

Thank you for your advice.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 12:19 PM
1

This is wise advice! Thank you. I agree. I don’t want to repeat the same patterns.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 12:19 PM
1

Thank you for your support and for sticking up for me. I respect her input although it was …less than positive. All perspectives are welcome. I know some will feel that I am not making the best decisions. Others feel that my “indecision” is a bad decision. Regardless, thank you for your input and taking the time to chime in.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 12:18 PM
4

Thank you! Yes, money and settlement are not an issue with me. I want her happy and I have no issues giving her 50, 60 or 70% of everything. I guess I feel guilty that she will have a lesser lifestyle than me. I also don’t want to see her hurt. It’s amazing …after the controlling, abuse, manipulation, sexual rejection for years …I am still more worried about her well-being. I don’t say that to brag ….it really is a problem. Sometimes I wish I was more of a jerk and didn’t care.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 12:16 PM
3

Thank you! I will look those up. I have the No More Mr. Nice Guy book. Have read several pages. Need to finish it. Good input.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 12:11 PM
4

Good points. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 05:31 AM
2

Good food for thought.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 05:30 AM
3

Thank you for your input.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 05:30 AM
1

Do you think controlling/manipulating wives change or always resort back to their ways?
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 04:09 AM
1

I separated finances and set up automatic payments, etc….
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 01:24 AM
7

Separated 2+ years. My choice to leave a long term marriage. I was (am) the breadwinner. Pay for both households. The controlling and manipulation and “bad” stuff seems to sift to the bottom while good vibes start go appear. Still, something is off. No sexual attraction. We are nice to each other. She wants me to come back, bit not sure I am ready. Thinking I should just file and be done. Definitely stuck in ambivalence and indecision.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 01:03 PM
2

Wow, we should definitely compare notes and chat. I’m 48, married almost 30 years. I left 2+ years ago and still have not worked up the courage to file. I have No More Mr Nice Guy book and need to finish reading it. My marriage was a lot of controlling and manipulation (on her part) with isolation from friends and family (including my parents - I’m an only child) on my part. I am a “Nice Guy” and just worked to keep the peace all those years. 4 grown kids….good job (me..not her)…good looking and…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/23 12:33 PM
4

I’m in a similar boat. Married 29 years. Together 33. Most of our marriage, she was manipulative, covert narcissist and controlling. Got to the point I was not allowed to have friends. Was not allowed to have a relationship with my parents (who are great people and live 15 min away…). Not allowed to follow any passions (I’m a musician). I was the main breadwinner. She did take care of the house and cooked, cleaned. She’s a great mother; however, sex 2 times per year for 15 years just does not wo…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 05:58 AM
2

Hey brother. I feel ya. The same thoughts and feelings go through my head. I feel hypocritical at times because I left and I initiated the separation. Then, I feel like I miss her at times. Ugh. The bad shit seems to dwindle and the good memories linger ….makes me second guess. Most people advise me to not go back and remember the pit where I came from. It’s challenging at times. Stay strong my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 04:19 PM
1

Been together 30+ years. I left 2 years ago after dealing with her controlling and manipulating ways. Of course now she’s being all nice and bending over backwards to win me back. I struggle with filing and being completely done. Just don’t want any regrets. I am too “passive” around her. I can be assertive in business and everything else ….but I allow her to control me and I know she knows it. I am too worried about her sadness/happiness rather than my own. Sometimes I think she’s being extra n…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/22 12:42 PM
7

This is encouraging! Thank you. I am struggling.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/22 04:01 AM
1

Ohhhh. That’s good! Never thought of it like that!
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 01:52 PM
1

Great advice! Thank you! What is Discord?
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 01:50 PM
2

Wow! That’s powerful! Love it
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 01:48 PM
4

Love it! I struggle with being alone also. This is helpful. Thank you for taking the time to articulate this.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 01:45 PM
1

Good food for thought. Thank you for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 01:56 AM
2

This is good advice. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 01:56 AM
1

That’s been me for a while. “Going along to get along …”. Can’t do that forever…and pay her and my bills forever. I’ve had people tell me that I’ll regret not filing sooner ….when I actually decide to file. Just giving up that ….”potential companion “ whilst dealing with the fear of the unknown is unsettling. Thank you for your input. It truly is helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 09:33 PM
2

This is reinforcing and helpful. Thank you for the feedback.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 09:31 PM
2

This is so helpful. Thank you for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/22 02:17 AM
2

This is helpful. Thank you. Reinforces my rational thoughts for sure
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 02:51 PM
1

Sounds kind of messed up when you put it that way. I suppose that does put it into some perspective. Thank you for reflecting.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 02:48 PM
1

You present some good points. I believe people can “work” on themselves. I admit I need to work on myself. Just don’t want to crawl back into a hole that I fought hard to get out of. Not to contradict myself ….I crawled out of that hole only to realize what other people say is true…. “the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side…”. (And please don’t say “the grass is greener where you water it”….Lol….I’ve heard it …I get it )
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 02:46 PM
1

Appreciate you sharing. How long did it take you to find peace and be happy and not “miss” the old familiar ….when times of loneliness hit?
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 02:32 PM
1

Concisely put. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 02:31 PM
2

Good input Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 02:31 PM
1

I appreciate your perspective. Yes, I try to weigh in the balance if she has truly changed. I also weigh whether it is better to have that long term depth …with the possibility of me being cornered into that codependent situation again. I am working on stopping being a people pleaser. Another comment in this post spoke to that. It is an issue I need to work on. Many of my friends/parents/….etc… say that a leopard does not change its spots. Even a therapist said they people can work in themselves…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 02:30 PM
1

Oh…that’s powerful. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 02:22 PM
1

Appreciate you sharing. It is helpful to realize I am not the only one who is in this type of situation.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 02:22 PM
2

Terrific point Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 02:20 PM
1

This is what I need! Thank you so much. Good perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 02:20 PM
6

Thank you for sharing. I do feel less stress at times. There are just those times that are lonely and I romanticize the long term togetherness ….that really was not all that wonderful.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 05:01 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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