muchoalohakai Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
7	Those that were domestically violent, how did you change?		muchoalohakai	/r/Divorce_Men	26/12/23 01:26 PM
4	How many days to move out after temporary hearing/judge decision?		muchoalohakai	/r/Divorce_Men	12/07/25 10:54 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	How many days to move out after temporary hearing/judge decision? My mother is only person listed on loan and title. All three of us are listed on the deed.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/07/25 02:34 AM
1	How many days to move out after temporary hearing/judge decision? My mother has said she would do that but I’d like to keep things as peaceful as possible. Maybe that’s a good route. I’m not leaving without a signed court order. The reason I believe I’ll be kicked out is cause my attorney said if she asks for me to have to vacate, they will most likely give it to her.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/07/25 03:49 AM
1	How many days to move out after temporary hearing/judge decision? Yea that’s what my understanding is… they’ll give it to her and then I’m toast for a bit. Wondering how many days I’ll have to get my stuff out… mainly office/work stuff. We have kids that adore me and we are all so close… I want them to see me still do what’s right despite their mother’s choices. Also, I’ll come out way on top financially and that’s gonna send her over the top… so that’s a nice win.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/07/25 03:46 AM
17	In case you are missing your ex-wife today... “Hey calm down” works better	/r/Divorce_Men	15/01/24 11:43 PM
2	Advice I can attest that almost everything mentioned thus far is good advice. Also, key thing, if it becomes something you just don’t want, don’t drag it out or try to force change, a lot of change has happened and he’ll either change cause he sees it’s a blind spot or he’ll have minor PTSD. You rock for coming here and asking	/r/Divorce_Men	15/01/24 11:39 PM
2	Did counselling help any men? There’s a lot of similarities here between you and I… but I will say, I had to come to the place that I am an abuser regardless of who she is or what she has done. I have sent letters to friends and family admitting this and many of my wrong doings. Main reason why is that I do need to face the behaviors I had and own them full stop. Second is I’d much rather take that path over the oath of possible denial and prolonging my journey of self awareness and true healing. And if I’m wrong, I’d much r…	/r/Divorce_Men	15/01/24 02:44 PM
7	Did counselling help any men? Sounds like you’re asking about couples counseling? If you’re a man, you’ll face it head on whether you really are the bad guy or not. If you truly are the problem, own it and do the work if you want to save your marriage. If she still leaves, you’ve got a leg up on being better for the next partner. If she really is the problem, that’s half the battle, the other half is if she actually cares enough to do anything about it. Majority of women don’t think they are in the wrong, even with others op…	/r/Divorce_Men	15/01/24 04:34 AM
3	Scientific study on loss of love in marriage and women. But is it? /s	/r/Divorce_Men	06/01/24 04:22 AM
3	I'm terrified. Yes, a long rough year but time does fly and as men, we are capable and resourceful. I got the boot and my mom called same day letting me know she potentially has lung cancer and her lungs have partially collapsed. My dad passed from cancer in 2016 and I’m close with my parents. That’s how life goes	/r/Divorce_Men	03/01/24 02:48 PM
3	I'm terrified. It’ll rebound much faster than you think	/r/Divorce_Men	02/01/24 08:10 PM
2	I'm terrified. I fully understand, this will break you down and most likely into some very unhealthy coping mechanisms which then will turn you into a bad father. You have to stay healthy my man, that is the top priority. If you’re healthy, your relationship with your kids will be healthy and if you ever want a future romantic relationship, being healthy is key. I understand it’s so hard to see clearly when money isn’t there and stress is insane. It about broke me last year. My credit score went from 807 to 51…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/01/24 04:03 PM
6	I'm terrified. Others will for chime in and tell you there is a very very very low chance this can be reconciled… and if so, in a healthy way that doesn’t implode years from now. You have to understand this. My wife and had no affairs but lots of hurting each other and here in year 7 with all the resentment and bitterness and all that… we imploded. Not in process of divorce but both seeing it as an option. All in all, if I were you, as terrifying and painful as it is, start preparing to find your way out. Your…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/01/24 02:08 PM
1	Separated in SC I get it. Trust me, 100% I hate burdening my bros. Hang with them and don’t talk about the situation unless they ask. Do bro stuff for that time, it’ll help. Journaling on paper and on my phone helps tremendously. On my phone, I just jot down short stuff about how I’m feeling and a solution for myself… on paper, I let it all out. Getting out is key, doesn’t matter if it’s on paper or to a bro… if you make note of it, you’ll notice you kinda feel the same whether it’s paper or person. I love my w…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/12/23 04:18 PM
2	Separated in SC Document everything concerning money. EVERYTHING. Also the blow up. You can even go to police station to file a report, even if they don’t do anything. The fact you filed one from the domestic abuse can help in court. Call/text your buddies and give them a code word, when you want to get upset or go off, text them that code word so they can call you asap and just chat until you’re calm. Everything you do from here on out will be used against you on all fronts. Don’t worry about your stepdaughter…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/12/23 03:24 AM
6	How do I explain it? Maybe say “I’m not sure where to start, why don’t you ask me some questions and we’ll go from there.” I’d say if a rough question comes up, maybe you could answer “let me think of the best way to answer that and I’ll reach out then.” I’m not sure if being 100% honest is the best answer… but looking back on me and my dad around that age, I def appreciated his honesty about his mistakes in life and did not look at him any different. I also had a close mentor tell me “never lie to your kids. Once t…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/12/23 07:22 PM
2	Those that were domestically violent, how did you change? Good word bro, thank you	/r/Divorce_Men	27/12/23 01:46 AM
2	Those that were domestically violent, how did you change? My wife experienced some hard stuff growing up as well as an abusive ex bf that is the father of her 13yo daughter. Who is married, very successful and they are very amicable now. I had moments of terrible decisions. Punching doors, draining shared bank account, tell her to get out if this life was so bad… etc etc. They would be sparked by her harsh words about me not being good enough or that the life I was providing for her was terrible or being a terrible father. It hit that deep insecurity i…	/r/Divorce_Men	26/12/23 07:09 PM
4	Those that were domestically violent, how did you change? Yes, this has been a big part recently. I often think of the little boy left to defend himself my whole life. My dad had an extremely rough childhood and didn’t know how to be a good dad, we were close but I was left figuring a lot out on my own, once we got even more close in mid 20s, he passed after a 3yr cancer battle. I have longed for a healthy masculine role model for as long as I can remember… I have 4 sisters and my only close uncle is homosexual, we are very close friends but he’s not m…	/r/Divorce_Men	26/12/23 02:49 PM
6	Those that were domestically violent, how did you change? The two therapists I’ve had said I was not a narcissist even tho I was pretty adamant I am. I’m reading “the new science of narcissism” really eye opening. I experienced SA as a kid and slight neglect from my parents, as well as a lot of bullying until I hit 6’0 in high school and started working out. I kind of became my own protector… which is a trait of narcissism. I’ve done much better the last 2 years, the first 4 were rough. I guess we’ll see how this journey unfolds	/r/Divorce_Men	26/12/23 02:17 PM