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naomidusk Archive

View 0 posts and 144 comments by naomidusk on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

Yeah I feel her schtick is much more driven by anger at women than solidarity with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 02:36 AM
28

I really do think that online dating advice needs to start accounting for love. Sometimes, people fall in love and formulas about transactional exchange aren't sufficiently explanatory.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 11:07 PM
18

Isn't this basically the "it's only creepy if you're ugly" meme?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 11:04 PM
–

Women suck as being friends with men just as much as men suck at it This is probably true. I think that women are just more likely to value a male friend that they have no romantic/sexual interest in, whereas men are more likely to only be friends with women they have some kind of further interest in (i.e I see plenty of women befriend unattractive guys, but rarely see men befriend unattractive women). But in terms of actual behavior in the friendship, I think women probably have as many issues …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 06:09 PM
12

It sounds really sad for a child to grow up in a household with a one-way monogamy arrangement. These red pill guys promote this arrangement as a natural product of being a so-called "high value male" but I can't imagine that they've really thought it all the way through to the impact it has on their children. The fact that a few of them emphatically believe it is completely unnecessary for the father to live with the child just kind of further proves they're not really thinking through what imp…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 04:34 AM
2

This is a great strategy. Way too many people are caught up with appealing to the "average" man/woman, which is just a recipe for maximizing rejection.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 11:35 PM
5

I hadn't really thought about how brutal that must be for local men, especially the hot spots becoming really popular for passport bros - it has probably turned into something that significantly changes the local dating landscape, with potentially more and more women of those areas expressing preference for a foreign man.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 02:08 AM
8

Male and Female Libido is nowhere near the same. It's kind of funny that this is considered controversial, because it is quite obvious to most of us that this is clearly the case. I would posit the reason it has fallen into "sexist statement" category is because strangely there are many men who think that because women don't have the same level of libido that then means women don't have any libido at all, which therefore means women don't really like sex and simply "give" sex to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 08:26 PM
1

definitely a dude lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 08:13 PM
0

whereas men have greater tendency for heroism and protection This is true to an extent, but I also think that a lot of men feel burdened by the expectation to be heroic/protective when they themselves feel they could use some protection. I think this is where nice guy resentment comes into play - men who don't feel up for being the "protective" one opt to be nice instead, but society doesn't particularly reward this.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 10:23 PM
5

Yes women have access to a kind of covert power/potential for threat.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 09:24 PM
11

Women are no more innately good than men are, but they are more vulnerable. More vulnerable doesn't equal "more good" but unfortunately less vulnerable can mean more potentially dangerous. Men are then scrutinized for more potential threat than are women, but this doesn't mean men are "less good." This is probably most frustrating for men who really aren't threatening or dangerous, and actually face the potential threat/danger from other men quite a bit themselves - there is no additional protec…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 08:43 PM
1

I agree with you mostly and see what you mean, but this part is not relevant: So moaning that the older man is enjoying the attention of the younger woman is both futile and pernicious. I think it's silly to factor in how other people are moralizing it. The complaining about complaining starts to imply that if it weren't for those annoying older women, older men would be enjoying the attention of younger women in droves - there are many more relevant reasons these age gap relationships don't hap…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 07:53 PM
3

If I'm understanding you correctly, you're basically asking - what's the best age strategy for an unattractive guy to deal with the fact that he will be found undesirable by any woman he dates? I think your hypothetical works only by assuming that the experience of not being desired would be the same experience coming from the younger woman or the older woman. I do think they would be different experiences. If they are literally both going to give him the same feeling of rejection, sure I can se…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 07:50 PM
14

Hmm this is an interesting question. The implication is, if both younger women AND older women are going to find an older man unattractive, why does it matter that he just goes with the younger woman who wants him for his money, since the older woman won't be interested in him either way? At the end of the day, the older man is free to pursue whatever form of relationship works best for him, and if he prefers to go for a younger woman regardless of whether she's interested in him or his money, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 06:33 PM
2

You're going to be compared to some degree. If she's doing it in a way that makes you feel diminished and condescended, then she's probably not a particularly emotionally mature partner. No matter how awesome a woman's dad is, that's not license for her to make you feel you're auditioning to be his replacement.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 01:56 AM
6

It's true it plays a part, but it's not like it's the first stop - when it comes to dating strategy, it's basically futile for a woman to have an alluring personality without first working on appearance (given what most effectively gets a response from men).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 07:26 PM
22

Yup, exactly - a lot of women actually report feeling angry at the world when they lose weight because of much better the world treats them. From what you shared, I now understand why RP can make some men feel angry at the world too - finding the "solution" doesn't feel good when it's at, what feels like, great cost.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 07:08 PM
36

I've learned a lot from this thread, I don't often get to read this more more vulnerable side of red pill. Your comment especially made me realize how different the performative aspect of dating is for men (compared to women), and therefore how different the disappointment is. What I mean is, because of how big a role personality/energy/confidence plays in a man's ability to get a girl, men are often put in a position of completely contorting who they are in order to succeed in dating. When this…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 06:04 PM
11

Is finding love really a moral obligation? I'm not necessarily defending that lifestyle, but the idea of love as obligation isn't exactly inspiring.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/24 10:11 PM
9

Totally, I'm always wary of anyone saying "we men/women have done x." I can't imagine ever thinking, "we women have done x," what other women have accomplished is not anything I would think to speak on behalf of or take unearned pride in.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/24 09:51 PM
7

Exactly, it's a weird and bad faith hypothetical. It's basically just "boys rule/girls drool" (or vice versa) for (supposed) adults.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/24 09:21 PM
28

It unfortunately reads like he is trying to find a story to bolster the idea that the women he was chatting to who were then pulled away by friends were definitely interested in him. Obviously it's painful rejection to imagine that a woman who looked to be genuinely having a good time with you might have been completely faking it. What a lot of guys don't realize is that women often need to put on this face because of how dangerous rejection can be - you might be the good guy that's like, "hey, …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 04:43 PM
3

Orion from psychacks (Extremely creepy vibes, bad advice that most certified therapists would disagree with, promotes a mentality that gets people to see their partner as an adversary not a trusted friend) I've just recently come across his channel, and was very surprised to see a licensed psychologist promoting red pill ideas. It's so strange to me that someone could get an education in psychology and somehow believe red pill ideas are effective explanation of social dynamics. He is very articu…
/r/ExRedPill24/03/24 09:41 PM
3

There is no doubt that it is very common for men to be deemed "creepy" and very rare for that to happen to a woman. As many have already mentioned here, one of the basic reasons for this is men are generalized to be more of a physical threat than women are, and creepy is basically the entry level for "potentially dangerous." These kinds of generalizations tend to get applied to the genders as a whole unfortunately - so regardless of the actual potential threat a man represents in his stature or …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 01:45 AM
23

hysterical dude c'mon your point would have been so much stronger without this
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/24 06:27 PM
29

Yes with this kind of thinking out there, it's little wonder that women would very much rather have financial independence.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 03:45 AM
3

Well to be clear I don't agree with any ideology that supports hatred of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 03:38 PM
1

You're bringing a lot of activated feelings to what could otherwise be an edifying discussion about the extent to which feminism is or isn't comparable to the manosphere.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 06:41 AM
1

I'm not sure why you're so attached to your comparison that you are this offended.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 06:34 AM
1

Well your thinking aligns with it. In what ways is it a joke to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 06:15 AM
3

Well said. I do think unfortunately a lot of the manosphere has propagated the idea that feminism = hating men. Of course there are extremists who call themselves feminists who are basically doing little more than hating men, but it is disingenuous to say that's what feminism is.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 04:51 AM
5

Remind yourself of all the reasons that it would never have worked out, and you would ultimately be incompatible. Often when we have a crush we fall for a fantasy more than we fall for a person (since we may not know them all that well), and we get carried away with the fantasy, and attached to an imagined outcome. If we allow ourselves to come back down to reality, we see that that there was never going to be a future since that person never felt the same way about us, and life with someone who…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 11:40 PM
42

This is quite the understatement. It definitely does not make a better society. I don't think you should take the people advocating for forced nuclear families so seriously, it's an extreme and rare position. Most people in favor of nuclear families think it should be encouraged but still voluntary.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 11:34 PM
3

Hmm interesting point.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 11:29 PM
0

I wasn't speaking to your experience then? Sorry.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 11:27 PM
1

I'm surprised you don't observe this behavior among insecure women. You're quite lucky to only know secure mature adults then.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 07:16 PM
1

I know that the overall situation sucks, but I'd also be careful about placing the blame on the bisexual women vs. the homophobic men.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 07:14 PM
2

I know, it is sad to think people come out of the closet only to hide in another one, but being queer is inevitably complicated in a heteronormative society.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 07:12 PM
0

That's great re your friendships. How about beyond your personal experience?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 07:10 PM
5

It's definitely not weak to be interested in someone, but it does indicate a problem if a man is incapable of making female friends without being interested in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 07:08 PM
3

Glad to hear that's happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 06:09 PM
1

Sorry what do you mean? I mentioned it varies.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 06:08 PM
3

This is an interesting one to think about. I would say it depends on the woman, the particular friendship dynamic, and the level of insecurity. More secure women would be the latter, and insecure women would be the former. I think amongst female friends where appearance is an especially high priority, it's constant competition to win the title of "prettiest."
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 04:45 AM
1

Yes exactly, that option is always there for women who want that kind of arrangement.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 04:25 AM
3

For women male friendships can be a bit of a break of the competition of being around other women all the time. Female friendships tend to be much deeper, but they can also come with a lot more emotional complexity for that reason, as well as more direct comparison, jealousy etc. The same argument could theoretically be made for men though - that female friendships could hypothetically be a break from the competition/jockeying of hanging out with male friends. However, I think due to the way tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 04:22 AM
44

It's more likely imo that there are many women who are actually bi who have felt more comfortable with the term "lesbian" than there are so-called "women falsely claiming to be lesbian." There is a lot of discrimination again bisexual people, with many people basically not taking them seriously and accusing them of having dishonest intentions or something, whereas people who straight up identify as gay/lesbian tend to be more accepted and believed.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 04:07 AM
4

I got really confused about this as well when I saw that the red pill space heavily promotes the idea that women are attracted to money above anything else. I've come to believe that this varies a lot by culture/sub-culture, and the more conservative/traditional-leaning the culture, the more likely that both men and women are going to believe that being rich is very important for a man's success in the dating market. In more progressive cultures/sub-cultures, there's less of an expectation that …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 04:02 AM
2

Wouldnt the obvious solution be for female spaces to start pushing femininity again? There's actually a lot of this happening, female "femininity coaches" are exploding on youtube and TikTok.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 07:55 PM
25

Femininity is in a really ambiguous, maybe even precarious, place in our culture right now which why it has some of the problems you're getting at. Femininity is of course associated with women, but many of the traits of femininity are at odds with what we culturally value for socioeconomic success. A lot of the gains women have made in the workforce have been through aligning more with masculine character traits. As a result, women feel very ambivalent about being seen as feminine, because it f…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 03:06 AM
26

I don't think you can "convert" your sexual orientation.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 04:34 AM
3

Secondly, the amount of single dads to single mums is a tiny amount, it’s rare to find a single dad that does 100% of parenting. This is huge context, I'm surprised more comments aren't mentioning this. At best people are going to cite experiences with dads with shared custody, very few will have data points re totally single dads. We don't have enough info to generalize whether they tend to ask for women to "step up" or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 11:25 PM
1

Sadly I think you're right about that - I do think men can underestimate how relevant genuine compatibility is. I wonder if the same can be said for women, regarding looks? Would there be fewer dead bedrooms if women were less flexible about about appearance?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 11:16 PM
2

Oh wow, thank you - it means a lot to hear that. It is genuinely my intention to be as understanding as possible of both genders, and always a work in progress.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 11:11 PM
7

Perhaps for men who treat conventionally attractive partners as status symbols it is true. Bingo, it's definitely this. I think for men who are more on the insecure side, it can be very difficult to let go of the fantasy of the status-symbol beautiful woman. Personally I've observed that more conventionally attractive men are more willing to date average looking women, often because they've had their share of attractive woman and value something different. For men who haven't had the chance, I t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 11:07 PM
2

Their best guy friend could share all the same hobbies, but they’re still gonna be drawn to someone who behaves like what their image of a “man” is. This is interesting, and sounds about right. It's probably why those TikTok "ick" lists have gone so viral, because the minutiae of behavior that women name is daunting and alarming. For most men, it sort of goes just be pretty and I'm going to be pretty chill about the rest of it. I think for women, it's kind of (at the risk of sounding simplistic)…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 11:02 PM
17

What you're getting at is that men want a woman who is both visually attractive to him and someone he can emotionally/intellectually connect with. Presenting as feminine makes a woman visually attractive to a man, but feminine personality traits (hard to define, but generalizing here) may make her more difficult to relate to for the man. Men who enjoy traditional gender roles will be more tolerant of that difficulty because she also may be more compatible with his expectations - she may take on …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 08:50 PM
2

The idea that most people would rather be in an unsatisfying relationship than be alone is not mutually exclusive with the idea that cultivating self love will lead to healthier relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 06:28 PM
4

Self-identifying as good will always be a ridiculous idea to me, it's like self-identifying as self-aware.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 09:15 PM
2

Yes it's exactly right, I just don't know where men are getting the message that being good - not in the sense of being useful or valuable, but the "good boy" kind of good - is what will earn them desire from women. I sort of suspect that it might be the result of projection - many men will project goodness onto women (another message of unclear source), and then based on that perception of women as pedestaled angel will try to earn approval by living up to the projected goodness.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 09:02 PM
2

It is broken thinking to believe getting laid is tied to moral desert - it is similar to thinking that wealth is tied to moral desert. It is simply the wrong formula. Status is not tied to goodness. And often people who think this way just coincidentally self-identity as one of the "good" when in many cases they're passive, and they invent a pretend world where passiveness is rewarded.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 06:04 AM
10

Jealousy of abusers is a pretty big tip off.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 01:39 AM
3

If sex is all he wants, then a pure transactional exchange with a sex worker is an ideal solution. But there's a reason that many men who can access prostitutes still choose to date/marry, and that is because she can't fulfill his desire to be loved. Sure, she can listen and offer a girlfriend experience, but for any thinking man he is always aware that it is a performance. No doubt there are men who can convince themselves that a sex worker has truly fallen in love with him, but for everyone el…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 07:02 PM
–

This is my confusion with it as well. Imo they're not in any doubt that women care about looks, their issue is getting women to explicitly say they don't date ugly dudes. Basically, it is waiting around for women to fundamentally change the nature of their communication style. The same way that men's communication style has its limitations, so does women's. Men are direct, which in certain domains is incredibly useful and helpful - and at other times, it's cruel and callous. Women are indirect -…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 05:58 PM
–

this conceptualization imagines all misogynists as gay.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 11:07 PM
6

Women are attracted to traits associated with masculinity, and lot of the traits associated with masculinity increase with age - wealth, status, emotional stability. However, there are also traits associated with masculinity that decrease with age - muscle mass, energy, virility. Different women will prioritize different traits of masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 09:44 PM
2

It is a good idea to be self-aware.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 02:21 AM
2

It's really not tragic, it just is.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 10:26 PM
6

I mean think of how many men feel in the face of body positivity - media marketing campaigns pushing the idea that larger women are attractive. People get agitated very quickly when they feel they're being forced into a direction of sexual attraction that doesn't align with what they feel naturally. Obviously all of us would love to live in the world where sexual attraction norms were biased in our particular direction. We more readily notice how much of a problem it is when we're the one's bein…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 10:24 PM
6

I said it's based in biology. Beyond that, sure people have agency and choice and preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:08 PM
6

We can reward virtue (socially constructed) with socially constructed awards. Mating is a biological game, forcing social rewards onto it ultimately fails.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:05 PM
3

I agree, plausible deniability is so important for saving face all around. There's no going back if things have been explicitly stated, whereas if it was only ever undercurrent you can pretend that nothing was ever there.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:00 PM
2

must build attraction over time by “personality” This can happen but it's not ideal because it means that she has slowly been trying to convince herself that maybe she was wrong about him, mainly because she hasn't met anyone else she likes and he's starting to look like the most straightforward path to some kind of relationship. It's shaky foundation, because deep down she's continually convincing herself that she does like him.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:57 PM
8

There are a ton of clues.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:52 PM
3

Exactly. The issue in the video happens when a guy completely disregards any signs or clues from her, and basically just makes an overture based on his own feelings. It's easy and important give her opportunities to show, through her behavior and choices, that she reciprocates the feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:49 PM
4

You just think it's shallow because you were conditioned to believe that attraction should be about socialized virtues. Attraction is based in biology, it's pretty simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:42 PM
–

destroying their wellbeing in what ways?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 03:39 AM
–

Oh wow that makes a world of sense. Here I've been thinking that it's about unreasonable expectations that women should somehow be both Madonna and whore, when actually that would ironically be an improvement on things.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 03:31 AM
–

It's definitely a more transactional view of relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 03:00 AM
2

Lol okay then, if you insist.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 02:58 AM
–

Yeah I was thinking about that term too, but then in my understanding of the Madonna whore complex isn't it about expecting the same woman to be both Madonna and whore?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 02:57 AM
–

this is kind of incoherent, can you summarize what point you're trying to make with this?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 02:51 AM
–

Well all the best with that thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 12:24 AM
–

Yes, but there is a deeper reason for it. "Ick" isn't some self-evident thing, and you'll notice those women get a lot of shit for it because they act like ick is some obvious, no-further-explanation needed thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 12:17 AM
–

I'm trying to say it's more than rude lol you're kind of diminishing your point by saying it's rude.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 12:12 AM
–

This is such a goofy caricature. Promiscuous women give men the "ick" in a relationship context. I like how you said it's a goofy caricature, and then proceeded to give a more nuanced, analytical explanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 12:10 AM
–

That's really fascinating. Imo for many women, it would never occur to her that there is something insulting about "making a man wait" when there is evidence that she hasn't in the past. A lot of women in younger years will be more naive/experimental, and might not have given enough meaningful thought to who she was with. Then, later on she sees it as a mature thing to do to be more careful and diligent about who has sex with, since she's come to realize it's quite a significant thing. That's pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 12:09 AM
–

It's kind of simplistic to call it childish and rude. This is part of a much larger issue of sex/porn addiction, and a culture that upholds the porn industry in its current problematic and exploitative state. I'd like to imagine a world where sex workers are safe and respected, and people who consume that content are respectful and intentional about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 12:03 AM
–

Yes I imagine within the rules of that game, if a date with her "cost" you more than it cost other men, that implies that you offer less than the other men do, and it then puts you at lower status than the other men. Also, if she made it very difficult for other men, but very easy for you, then it indicates your higher status and worthiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 11:54 PM
–

I see what you're saying in that men don't seem to even expect themselves to respect the porn actors that they're watching, and think it's perfectly justified to look down on them. However I don't necessarily see men watching porn as this intentional, active, powerful choice they're making - a lot of men are slavishly addicted to porn, and would rather not be the kind of person who watches it. It's a different angle, but maybe it's worth considering that the person they're "denigrating" is someo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 11:50 PM
–

I guess you could see it that way. Imo it seems like you're forcing a binary that doesn't necessarily capture the reality, clearly men are against porn for some women and not others. I guess the underlying point you're trying to make is that this is embedded with hypocrisy?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 11:37 PM
–

Your replies are dripping with anger, you are responding to ideas that aren't present.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 11:34 PM
3

They're very intertwined? Unless you're defining attachment as something toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 11:31 PM
–

Yeah it's something that took me a long time to realize, but helped a lot once I got there. It's also something I think most women are unaware of, or only see through the lens of men "objectifying" women. I mean you could view it that way, but I do think it's a very primal male tendency.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 11:30 PM
–

This is obviously a generalization? Why are you so angry? This is the least interesting take away. At least disagree with something specifically?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 11:28 PM
32

But they refuse to budge on dating men who earn less. Maybe they say they would prefer a man who earns more, but in actually lived real life plenty of women are dating and married to men earning less than them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 11:10 PM
–

I was always confused about this issue until I understood the difference between a man's sexual attraction and who he is willing to date. Men quietly (or maybe loudly) play a status game against other men around who is with the most exclusive catch of a woman. They want their friends to think their woman is not only extremely desirable, but very choosy, and she chose him - making him very special. A winner. This is why many men feel very torn about dating a woman who has a promiscuous past, or h…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 10:58 PM
3

This is a very pollyanna idea of love. Good luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 10:40 PM
10

Like they don't understand that for a lot of women no sex is better than mediocre sex. This is a big one. It's a massive blind spot for men when they've struggled with having sex less frequently than they've wanted, so they assume anyone who is able to access more regular sex must have a better life than them. They'll say "at least you can get sex" anytime a woman expresses difficulty finding an actual partner. For women, no sex is better than mediocre sex. For men, mediocre sex is better than n…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 10:15 PM
7

I'm sorry, it sounds like you've been through a lot of hurt. I was just trying to better understand the point you were making.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 10:05 PM
4

Well then which one is it? Who you are is status or the things beyond status?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:57 PM
9

You mean, why would a man love a woman if she doesn't love him unconditionally? That is an alarming expectation on love, and will lead to a life of misery if followed.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:55 PM
9

Yes exactly. It's not really as though in all other aspects of life they're getting approval and accolades and affection, and just this one specific area with women that they struggle. It's easiest to lament about women, but I'm sure they're struggling with employers, friends, even parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:51 PM
7

Status is not who you are, it something achieved and maintained and which can be lost.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:48 PM
4

This isn't being loved for who you are - this is using a status differential so that someone stays with you out of insecurity.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:34 PM
7

In what universe is that black pilled? Where were you taught that love is unconditional? Outside of Disney, this is commonly known reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:31 PM
17

What I wonder is where they get the idea that they are supposed to be loved unconditionally for who they are? Are they expecting women to love them like their mother loves them?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:29 PM
18

Listen people need to appeal to other people if they want a relationship. Men. Women. Flying helicopters. Exactly this. I think a lot of men especially on this sub simply don't have enough empathy/theory of mind to accurately register the challenges that women face and then, based on a misplaced assumption that it's all easier for women, they assert that life challenges that everyone faces are challenges that only men unfairly face. This thread is a great example - it's such an absurd idea that …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:24 PM
15

people just make up stuff on this sub
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 09:16 PM
13

It's a bit of both. People who get really good at making sure everyone feels welcome usually get there because they're especially uncomfortable with tension.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 03:52 AM
3

Because I disagreed with you? Dude you just proved my point about the nice guy thing being a veneer. You'll probably get a lot further with your goals if you reflect on the anger issues preventing you from genuine kindness, versus calling people who disagree with you morons.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 08:41 PM
6

Wait aren't you a self-identified nice guy? Where'd that go?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 08:34 PM
-3

To still paint them as bad? Who is painting genuinely nice men as bad?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 08:33 PM
1

Oh sorry, you sound triggered.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 08:23 PM
-7

Why complain about being a nice if you like being a nice guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:40 PM
-3

Exactly. Usually they are not "nice" guys but actually timid men who feel they have no option but to be nice, as they've been unable to overcome the hurdles they've faced when they were assertive. "Niceness" is not their choice but their prison. They criticize women for being with abusers because they are jealous of the abusers - they themselves would actually become an abuser for the opportunities they perceive it to come with, if they felt they had any choice other than to be a "nice guy."
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 07:09 PM
2

Yeah valid, I hear you re BPD because tbh BPD types are very exciting and fun when they're happy - as a woman some of the funnest friends I've had have been BPD/bipolar types. But obviously it's very much not fun when they're not doing well. Have you tried to really examine and question the kind of woman you're drawn to? It is possible, depending on your history/parents/trauma etc. that you straight up find emotionally stable women boring and they don't even hit your radar as attractive. If you'…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:37 PM
1

Nice one! I am mortally wounded.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:24 PM
8

My guess is that you are a very honest person who's actions follow closely with their words, and for honest people it can be hard to navigate a world where people live in contradiction of their words all the time. If going in, you already know "rules are more like guidelines anyways" you don't need someone to confirm. You know. Refer to your life experience, rather than literal interpretation of people's words. Otherwise, you get manipulated because you're still relying externally on someone to …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:23 PM
2

I can kind of understand on a very base level how rejection could be internalized as rejection of his genes/reproduction value - in a very literal evo psych way, the woman is saying on some level you are not worth 9 months of pregnancy, your genes would not improve my child's chances of survival. I also think this is why some women can be so vocal and visceral about rejecting a man if they find him unattractive, even showing disgust (as cruel as this is). Of course though, interpreting rejection…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 05:24 PM
23

Yeah it is silly to claim that women are just as high in sex drive as men. The thing is though a lot of people (men usually) take this difference in sex drive and extrapolate it all the way to...women don't like/need/want sex, it's just something that they "give" to men, which is obviously not only very untrue, but leads to a whole host of other messed up beliefs.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 05:05 PM
8

However, people do have a problem when those individual rules don't apply to certain people for arbitrary reasons, mostly because it shows a lack of integrity. I think the idea that people operate (or must be expected to operate) in regimented, rational ways when it comes to love and sex is misplaced, it's a losing game that causes strife, anger and heartache for the person viewing the world through that lens. It's very obvious, if you allow yourself to accept reality, that love and sex are high…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:59 PM
4

aww that sounds like a great Sunday.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:53 PM
2

Henry Cavill obviously goes through life getting unusually good treatment in all aspects of his life. If that's going to be a hang up for someone, they have some maturing and growth to do anyway, and would probably benefit from being single for a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:51 PM
5

Sure. Yes, of course! Why shouldn't it be that way? Of course women are going to behave differently with the men who get their pussies wet. And, again...why shouldn't it be that way? Ikr, it's like the logic of this gripe is: women act like they're in love with men they're in love with! And then when a man they're not in love with comes along, they don't act like they're in love! unfair! every man should be treated with equal love!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:49 PM
12

why are you guys inventing fantasy stuff? She is right, players are just as horny as any other guy and absolutely initiate.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:45 PM
1

I'm sure there was a coherent point in there somewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:41 PM
1

attractive men are lame in bed. lol this cope is so funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:40 PM
–

I agree that people who complain are annoying no matter what gender Exactly. If you're going to live in this kind of integrity though, you're going to have to move beyond framing every behavior through the lens of whether or not men women are equally restricted in that behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:38 PM
–

As a thinking person, if you know that something is a lie, why do you need explicit instructions for "a solution?" Simply stop living your life in accordance with that lie. If you need everything in the social universe spelled out explicitly for you externally, you're going to live a very stunted life.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:31 PM
2

it's not about absolute risk assessment, but whether risk was worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:19 AM
2

Casual sex is high risk low reward for women, and high reward low risk for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 04:14 AM
3

they’d always assume the worst in a guys behavior where I saw potential for misunderstanding or not enough information to make such an assumption. Their conclusions felt a few degrees too far for certainty. Eg what sounds like a joke to me was the guy being disrespectful to them. I've noticed this too in women- when they have a weak relationship with their dad, they are both more likely to strongly pursue relationships with men, as well as have a pretty pessimistic view of men. They have a refle…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 02:51 AM
3

I do think that lacking guidance from a father would disadvantage a guy in navigating the sexual market place, causing him to seek out different information to help him understand it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 02:46 AM
–

lol why does everything come back to this binary of "okay so what about when women do it then?!!!" Why even seek to justify complaining? Consult your life experience and ask if you want to be a person who complains, if that type of person is desirable to be around.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 02:25 AM
–

Yeah I think when a woman is below a certain threshold of attractiveness, she is more willing to tolerate being single than to sleep with a man she finds unattractive. Kind of makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint. Otherwise all genes would propagate.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 09:32 PM
–

That would be handholding. If you've observed that something is a lie, stop living your life as if it is a truth. It's that simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 09:28 PM
–

I never understand how some can say"but nobody told me you have to look good🥺". I think the men who make this claim are usually very literal thinkers/communicators, who understand the world mainly through explicitly stated rules. For people who read the social world through clues, context, and unspoken realities, the idea that you need to be explicitly told that attractiveness matters is...hard to understand. Everything that is competitively sought after in the social world, whether it is an att…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 09:28 PM
–

Whereas women are more dishonest and say women want nice guys. This hangup that certain men have about women not communicating forthrightly is to their detriment and simply projecting their own ideal reality onto the world - women communicate differently than men do, simple. And for good reason. You can choose to dispassionately explore understanding of that difference further, or insist it is a moral failing of women as a whole, which then justifies the choice to resent women as a whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 09:19 PM
–

Thus if you struggle, you must have a moral failing, because it is fair. The complaining iteslf is the moral failing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 09:05 PM
2

Because women give it up for someone whose extremely attractive yet hold out for anything lukewarm What is inherently wrong about doing this?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 08:58 PM
4

I'm curious if you believe it is impossible even if you find someone who is your looksmatch?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 07:56 PM
2

saying they shouldn't have to do ALLL that (take a shower, get handsome, style themselves) JUST to attract a woman, which they all want. This is the desire for unconditional motherly love from a woman. As you said, the problem is basically not understanding that women will not love you like your mother and grandmother do. Being angry that the world doesn't love you like your mother does is a much deeper issue than failing to attract romantic relationships - it is a fundamental misunderstanding o…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 07:54 PM
1

Blue Pill does heavily downplay looks and money, and if a man struggles blames his personality instead of the shallowness of women. I've never understood how this means women are shallow. Is it rational to desire unattractive and poor?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 07:50 PM
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