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niceguycoach Archive

View 9 posts and 49 comments by niceguycoach on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

I love the RPG metaphor. Gamification mentality is pervasive, but it doesn't usually apply to life itself. There are no "shoulds." Set your own goals for your life and work toward them. If you want to be married by a certain age, plan accordingly. If you want to date casually, plan accordingly. You get to pick.
/r/ExRedPill10/09/22 04:19 PM
3

You cannot know what she thinks. You may creep her out for no other reason than that's her reaction to you. You have no control over that. "Would you like to go for lunch/dinner/movie?" isn't the kind of question that indicates you have any bad intentions. Focus on what you say knowing that cannot predict anyone's reactions to what you say. It will always be a risk.
/r/ExRedPill10/08/22 05:37 PM
5

You're still generalizing to your detriment. At some point you're going to have to ask a woman out. You will risk getting a negative response from any particular woman. You either learn to date and actually do it OR you remain stuck in this paradigm where you equate making honest, respectful connections with people as dangerous. Last I heard, it's not illegal to speak out loud to people in public or in social situations. Your problem is that you want to find a way to get a girlfriend 100% of the…
/r/ExRedPill10/08/22 05:20 PM
3

No it doesn't. You're not being specific, so you're getting hung up on generalities again. If you do everything from a consent-based perspective, you're not doing any damage.
/r/ExRedPill10/08/22 05:15 PM
6

I'm asking you to stop trying to draw connections in your head. Treat women as individuals. That way you don't have any need to make generalizations. And yes, you are generalizing again. You're afraid of getting it wrong so you are taking zero social risks. What kind of advice do you need? How to date in general?
/r/ExRedPill10/08/22 04:55 PM
4

If women are not a monolith, then you don't know where an individual woman might fall on the dominant/submissive continuum at any given moment. Get to know women individually to find out what that particular individual's preferences are. Drop all other concepts in your mind. You don't need to draw any conclusions about aggregate data. That data doesn't exist anyway. This way of thinking in inherently respectful of the individual and makes it easy to let go of generalizations.
/r/ExRedPill10/08/22 04:47 PM
1

I will add that seeking “the way” is normal and natural. We all crave certainty. But if you can learn to handle uncertainty, life does become much te meaningful as you move through more challenges.
/r/ExRedPill27/04/21 01:37 PM
1

I would say back then I knew less about it. These days as their ideas online have consolidated more, I believe there is little to no value there from my point of view. I do not recommend guys study it. But for the most part the guys I help aren’t that into it anyway. But I don’t judge guys for getting sucked into it either. We are all looking fir “the way.”
/r/ExRedPill27/04/21 01:24 PM
2

Nature only pertains to the individual. Trying to aggregate the data is impossible and misleading. No need to spend any more time trying to figure it out. You'll never determine what the "nature" of men and women are in any useful way. Evaluate your relationships with individuals. Don't try to predetermine the success of your relationships based on assumptions about nature in general.
/r/ExRedPill16/04/21 02:56 PM
2

The definition of confidence you're subscribing to matters here. Ask a group of people how you define it and you'll get a bunch of different answers. Furthermore, people can be confident in one situation or context and not in another. So confidence is far too broad and subjective to use as a criterion for attractiveness EVEN THOUGH most people would say In general, people like confident people. Shy people can be attractive, for example. My working definition of confidence is different from most …
/r/ExRedPill16/04/21 02:42 PM
1

Well then why are you complaining about how the study indicates that straight women prefer muscular men? You've changed the subject to the false dichotomy of Nice Guy/Jerk, which I go into some detail [here](www.youaretoonice.com).
/r/ExRedPill12/04/21 08:18 PM
3

Stop buying into your self-limiting belief: Women will only be attracted to me if I'm lean and muscular. "Some truth" is not a valid basis for reality or a predictor of your individual dating experiences. Stop following studies and start meeting people.
/r/ExRedPill12/04/21 04:25 PM
3

You can check out my channel too and see if you like it. I'm anti-Red Pill also.
/r/ExRedPill09/04/21 12:19 AM
2

Why not just read it and decide for yourself? Sure, not every single sentence will be useful for all men, but most guys who read it will get some insights. I agree that it's good to read with a critical eye but also with an open mind. Sometimes when feedback hurts, it becomes quite useful. For me, it was all about the way a Nice Guy thinks and believes the world "should" work. And when the world doesn't work that way, he gets pissed off at people. Add onto that a good dose of anxiety, toxic sham…
/r/ExRedPill22/02/21 06:43 PM
1

Then we’re more or less on the same page. I tell guys they have to do the work to find therapists and coaches that are a good fit. Unfortunately there’s no way to make guarantees in either field. Not all certified therapists are good or good for all clients. I’ve had my share of bad or ineffective ones. I’ve hired bad coaches too. All we can do as service providers is be as ethical and professional as we can.
/r/ExRedPill14/02/21 07:45 PM
0

Furthermore, dating advice is a post experience good. This means that its true value is unknown until long after the service is used, and even after that, one might not know the true benefits and costs of the advice. As someone who's been a dating coaching client as well as a dating coach, it's not only about the "advice." Sure, we give guidance, but the client has to discover his own path. Simply giving advice doesn't get the job done. The client has to take the important uncomfortable actions …
/r/ExRedPill13/02/21 11:34 PM
1

Did you read it yet?
/r/askTRP02/02/21 11:13 PM
29

I totally concur. The Red Pill Community is a bastion for narcissists and other toxic personalities.
/r/ExRedPill09/12/20 09:53 PM
21

You're believing the bullshit and forming your own self-limiting beliefs. Time to develop your social skills and meet new people. Disprove those limiting beliefs by getting to know people the old fashioned way. Then you can just date accordingly.
/r/ExRedPill09/12/20 09:53 PM
1

I think anonymous social media is a bastion for toxic personalities. I've had run-ins with suspected narcissists over the years in and out of the manosphere. Trolls who get into flame wars to win at all cost are narcissistic, generally speaking. It's rare to find people who are genuinely interested in getting to the truth while arguing in good faith. Take away the anonymity, though, and the toxicity is somewhat reduced because a percentage of trollers might actually embarrass themselves. The one…
/r/ExRedPill22/09/20 03:59 PM
6

As others have said on this thread, this YouTuber is taking the example of one woman and then declaring AWALT. AWALT is in fact the basis for MGTOW itself. If a man really believes that all women are bad (or too high of a risk), then he also must believe that he has no chance at having a healthy relationship with one of them. Where I come from, this is a self-limiting belief reinforced by confirmation bias. In a nutshell, MGTOWs can't move past this self-limiting belief, declare relationships wi…
/r/ExRedPill08/09/20 08:11 PM
1

What sort of treatment/therapy are you getting for your challenges?
/r/ExRedPill08/09/20 08:04 PM
3

I think he's pretty narcissistic. I find him annoying to listen to. He's got strong opinions about everything and loves to talk about them. If you resonate with him, great. If not, fine. Take what you can use, discard the rest. Overall, I think assertiveness and self-respect are probably the only useful takeaways from Red Pill Philosophy. The rest reinforces stereotypes and self-limiting beliefs. It's also 100% ego-based, which also draws in those that lean narcissistic.
/r/ExRedPill25/08/20 08:19 PM
3

I searched the Kindle version for Rollo's name and it didn't come up. I don't think he mentions him at all. It's a solid book. One of my favorites.
/r/ExRedPill15/08/20 09:54 PM
3

I don't pay any attention to it. What you might find useful from it can easily be learned elsewhere: confidence, self-respect, honest communication, handling conflict, social skills, etc. All the rest are just codified self-limiting beliefs, cynicism, and shaming.
/r/ExRedPill20/07/20 01:44 AM
11

I think that misogyny in these cases is based on self-limiting beliefs and not feeling good enough. Instead of working on themselves, often guys will assume the victim role and blame all women for their situation. Also, young men overvalue physical appearance in women so much that they create unrealistic fantasies about being with them. It’s easier to say all women are like that then to actually get uncomfortable and grow by taking social risks.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/20 02:56 AM
11

I'm biased against TRP. But I think that a lot of guys benefit from learning to be more assertive from TRP, but that's about it. Anything a guy can do to learn to set boundaries and ask for what he wants in relationship is helpful. Also learning to not settle for a bad relationship is critical too.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/20 02:04 AM
14

No. But I think that's because I don't look for or track shit tests. I don't worry about figuring out if I'm being shit tested or not. If a woman said to me, "Either the fair or back to my place." I'd say, forget the fair! I'm just not sure it's worth figuring out if that's a shit test or not. Or even bothering to notice it as one.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/20 01:53 AM
1

"I'm not feeling the way I need to feel in order to want to continue." Or the short version, "I'm not feeling it anymore."
/r/askTRP30/05/20 11:42 PM
2

Thanks for mentioning that. The more I work with guys on the material the more I realize that most women won’t be able to assimilate it in a helpful way. It’s better to just let a woman know that you’re working on yourself and leave it at that. I encourage my clients to NOT share what we talk about with their wives for example. Instead I encourage them to just put the principles into practice and interact with her in the most authentic way possible.
/r/askMRP03/08/19 11:58 PM
0

And another screed that doesn't actually answer my response. Wow. I question your reading comprehension now. And your ability to make your point. I already gave you the dictionary definition of the word screed. My point. Everyone goes through this. Men. Women. Black. White. Brown. Tribal. Modern. Aboriginal. First world. Everyone. Yes, every human being is challenged by dating, mating and forming relationships. Everyone has a unique experience. The reason why I was only referring to men in my fi…
/r/ExRedPill08/06/19 07:59 PM
1

Women have their own dating support resources. There are plenty of books, websites and coaches out there to help them too. That roundly invalidates your counterargument. Infertile women were often cast out of their community and family. Traded in by husbands. No doubt true. I'm sure infertile women these days have challenges dating as well. Fortunately, many men today don't want kids, so forming a relationship with an infertile woman for them is a non-issue. These women have the option of using …
/r/ExRedPill08/06/19 07:11 PM
2

You know... At one time humans didn't need a handbook on how to socialize with the opposite sex. In fact, there were wide swaths of human history where there wasn't even a handbook to survive life. Maybe a book that blamed it all on some mystical force in the universe, if you were lucky. It's important to note that many men throughout history didn't get to mate and reproduce. That didn't stop our species from thriving however. The difference now is that men don't suffer in silence about it. Mode…
/r/ExRedPill08/06/19 06:37 PM
1

You've already read NMMNG. There's another classic psychology book on that list worth reading: When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope, Using the Skills of Systematic Assertive Therapy by Manuel J. Smith You can also check out my piece on The Red Pill here: https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguyhelp/comments/axpwwf/the_nice_guy_survival_guide_part_4_how_does_red/ I recommend guys tread very carefully if they go down that rabbit hole. Let me know if that helps.
/r/ExRedPill08/06/19 06:10 PM
5

I love geeking out on cognitive biases as much as the next guy, but they are so hard to avoid and overturn in conversation. I appreciate your comprehensive list. My favorite axiom is "The map is not the territory." This is a kind of Swiss Army knife that you can use to keep any mental frames and structures in proper perspective. The idea is that guys will buy into the TRP philosophy (the map) as reality (the territory). It takes a lot of work to test your point of view against reality all the ti…
/r/ExRedPill08/06/19 05:49 PM
2

I'm one of Dr. Glover's certified coaches specializing in dating. Thanks for setting this up!
/r/ExRedPill08/06/19 01:43 AM
1

I'm one of his certified coaches, so I can tell you as a recovering Nice Guy, his material can be life changing. If you don't relate to the book that much, you might not be a classic Nice Guy. That's about it.
/r/ExRedPill08/06/19 01:41 AM
1

Was it is three-day weekend in Seattle or Puerto Vallarta?
/r/ExRedPill08/06/19 01:41 AM
2

Yes, if memory serves, I first heard him say that at the NG Recovery Conference in 2016.
/r/askMRP07/04/19 01:56 AM
2

Have you read the book No More Mr. Nice Guy? You are living in that false duality of Nice Guy/Jerk. If you're afraid of rocking the boat in any way with a prospective woman, then you've already lost. That means you're hyper-focused on "doing it right," which is a classic Nice Guy strategy. Attraction is created through positive emotional tension. Nice Guys routinely feel anxiety when emotional tension happens, so they either avoid it or immediately release it. If you go direct, it will create a …
/r/askTRP14/07/18 04:14 PM
1

I just saw him yesterday. I spent the weekend hanging out with him at a business seminar he spoke at. He made no mention of that to me, but that doesn't mean it won't happen! He's very much in demand these days.
/r/askMRP12/06/18 01:34 AM
1

I'm starting it up now. Click here to ask questions. See you on the other side!
/r/askMRP06/05/18 06:04 PM
1

http://youtu.be/pWdd6_ZxX8c
/r/askMRP19/03/18 12:53 PM
1

Is it really possible or desirable to kill the ego? Calling the ego the enemy is also a (negative) judgement in and of itself. If we are going to practice non-judgement, wouldn't it be more useful to observe the ego and not follow its lead? I assert that the ego shouldn't be the captain of the ship, but instead the beloved and single-minded sea dog that gets a fish every now and then to keep him happy.
/r/askMRP16/03/18 08:42 PM
1

Yes, I use Skype. I'm happy to work virtually. You can get on my calendar here if you want to discuss your options for support. I'm happy to help where I can.
/r/askMRP15/03/18 06:27 PM
2

Thank you so much!
/r/askMRP09/03/18 09:51 PM
1

The AMA is here right now!
/r/askMRP09/03/18 08:05 PM
3

I can do single sessions, but in order to get up a new learning curve, it takes time and repetition. Structured, targeted journalling is one of my favorite practices. Also, breakthrough conversations require accountability afterward over time.
/r/askMRP08/03/18 07:57 PM
2

Thank you so much!
/r/askMRP08/03/18 07:40 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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