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niyamadana Archive

View 1 post and 21 comments by niyamadana on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

ADVICEniyamadana/r/RedPillWomen07/07/16 07:16 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

I wonder if I'm not just missing how pretty and beautiful I was at 18-19. I mean, I would still consider myself highly attractive now being thin and still mistaken for being under drinking age... but I know the reality is that I am never going to be as attractive as I was at 19 and that is probably what is messing with my head. Everyone else has addressed the other parts of your post well, so I wanted to say something about this. Yes, a good-looking 19yo is always going to be more desirable than…
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/16 05:54 AM
8

This can't be overstated: be busy. Be too busy, genuinely busy doing things you enjoy and that make you a better person, to text and call and see him constantly. For me, constant contact with a guy I'm crushing on is like a hamster drug.. I can justify doing or saying ANYTHING unless I take a step back into my own life and realize, hey, I barely know this guy.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/16 04:41 AM
7

I'm dating someone who is insanely busy, and one thing that has helped is to stay enthusiastic af about a) the work that he is doing and b) what I am doing while he is busy. Because of the enthusiasm for his work, he knows how proud I am of him for his ambition and drive. He knows that if something comes up at work that cancels our plans, I'll say "GO GET EM TIGER" instead of "oh. fine. do what you want" or some other guilt trip. Because of my enthusiasm for my own stuff, he knows I'm not sittin…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/16 12:36 AM
2

I saw this post yesterday and thought "that's a good reminder." Then, last night, I accidentally ignited a spark and, even in the moment, I thought about it in those terms and IT HELPED SO MUCH. I didn't see it as him trying to make me feel bad, or about me losing my cool. I was like "oops, that was a spark and I just ignited it, I better fix this before it ruins our night." Reading this sub everyday is so helpful, I'm so grateful for all of you ladies <3
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/16 05:10 PM
3

I think it is very telling that your boyfriend is making excuses for their behavior and continues to defend you against their ridiculous complaints. That means it isn't all in your head - he knows they are being unfair to you. Is there a history of abuse in the family? Close-knit or not, that level of animosity and antagonism towards a new person, a new person who a member of the family loves and is considering spending the rest of his life with, is a major indication of a closed family system. …
/r/RedPillWives05/08/16 04:59 PM
3

I wear makeup everyday. A few things based on what you've said: Eyeliner done correctly makes your eyes look bigger, which makes you instantly look more feminine. Like with all makeup, practice at home until your technique is good enough that, after applying eyeliner, your eyes simply look better and not different/clownish. For daytime lipstick, I apply a lip balm and then dab on a peachy pink color. It looks very natural and understated, but is absolutely necessary imo if you're going to be app…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/16 07:52 PM
8

My SO is a single father and I am thankful for it everyday. I'm older than you are, 32. Not having kids in my 20s was a HUGE mistake. To be honest, I'm so lucky to have found such a good man at all, considering my age. He's older than I am but can easily date younger. While I would be with him regardless of whether he had kids or not, the fact that we have a child in our home just feels "right" at my age. It brings along its share of potential drama but it's really up to you in how much of that …
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/16 01:08 AM
4

I agree with what you're saying. I think, for us women, our tendency towards complete and utter selfishness leads to a lot of unnecessary anxiety, fear, jealousy, and insecurity. Caring for a child is one of the best ways to rein in that selfishness. Some adult women can be happy without children, but I think most greatly benefit from having children as soon as they have secured a healthy environment for raising them. Unfortunately, non-RPW so strongly associate selflessness with caring for chil…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/16 06:03 PM
2

I agree that vulnerability is so key in romantic relationships and even friendships. In an effort to sure my SO found me pleasant in our early days of dating, I refrained from showing any strong emotion and he'd say things about me being mysterious, not talking about my past, hiding something, etc. and I totally didn't get it - I would share stories about my family, friends, past, etc. as much as he did. But when I realized I talked about all of those things like I was in a business meeting and …
/r/RedPillWives22/07/16 01:55 AM
8

I love little surprises! SO and I are total creatures of habit, ftmp. Like, we love having homemade pizza every Thursday. If I surprised him with something different, he'd be bummed. So instead I surprise him with something small within the boundaries of our routine like forming the pizza crust in the shape of a heart. Also, I pack his lunch each day while he showers, so it is always a surprise! I got him a Zojirushi Mr. Bento a few months ago, which is the most incredible thing in the world - i…
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/16 07:31 PM
1

Suggesting a prenup would be a great first step. Most BBs are too afraid to mention it.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/16 05:56 PM
2

I think that other people have covered how to text during the dating phase very well. When you're LTRed, I think your texting habits should be about adding value to your SO's life and making his days better. Some may feel constant texting endearing if the texting is light and fun, (NOT boring - if you only text while you're bored, there is a very good chance that your texts are boring) and obviously meant to brighten their day. Some may feel that constant texting of any sort is a power struggle …
/r/RedPillWives09/07/16 04:01 AM
2

I really needed to hear this again. Some things are harder to surrender than others, and his family is definitely my Achilles heel. Just when I think I've let it all go, something else happens and jump-starts my hamster. Ugh.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/16 10:38 PM
1

I mostly didn't include it because of the long backstory, but here you are: 3 years ago, my SO dated a friend, Katie, of this particular sister. He broke up with Katie within a couple of months. She was needy, manipulative, started talking about marriage way too soon, and he wasn't attracted to her at all (older, extremely obese, clown make-up, etc.). His sister had him convinced that, at his age, he couldn't be picky about looks anymore. Katie went nuts when he broke up with her - stalking him,…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/16 10:11 PM
9

YES I love this! I am dealing with the fallout of a domestic dictator - FMIL was hardcore tyrannical about housekeeping... there was exactly one way to do things and anyone who didn't do it that way was "nasty" (her favorite word) or lazy. SO has a lot of anxiety about cleaning. When I went to her house for the first time I was so nervous - but it wasn't perfect! Very clean, but certainly not any cleaner than our house. All of her fussing, stressing out her (ex) husband and kids for fifty years,…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/16 03:10 PM
4

I don't think your SO sounds like a bad guy. He actually sounds a lot like my SO, in two ways. The first is that he is very self-motivated and self-disciplined after a career first in the military and now as a successful business owner. He has higher standards for himself than anyone I've ever known, and makes most people look very lazy and dull. He'll nitpick both important things and things like the size of the cucumber pieces in the salad I made, because his job for 20 years has been nitpicki…
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/16 03:21 PM
1

I feel like, if the feeling was mutual, he would've sent you a text saying he'd like to meet again for <insert whatever reason>, not that he wanted to move in. I doubt he sees potential beyond maybe hooking up. But, if he got to know you more and you practiced enough self control to not become just a hook up, perhaps there would be more potential in the future? I hesitate to say that though, as it seems you've already put a little too much thought into a guy you barely know...
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/16 07:26 PM
3

My goal for this month is to set the timer for an hour every weekday and spend the entire time cleaning. Right now SO and I are in a tiny corporate rental for 3 months for his job, and it takes very little to keep it clean. So, I've gotten comfortable cleaning less and my habits have been slowly slipping away, and yesterday I was mortified when my SO got home and I realized I hadn't even touched the bathroom or made the bed. It will be a challenge to find cleaning that needs to be done for an en…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/16 06:23 PM
7

It could simply be extreme gender disappointment, but it could be general my-life-just-changed-and-I-don't-like-it disappointment. He wouldn't be the first parent to be super excited at the idea of parenthood, only to have little interest in the reality of a baby (and finding out the gender could have been the moment when the switch flipped for him). I haven't been there, and I doubt any advice I could give you would be fruitful, so I will just say don't give up hope. The man you married is stil…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/16 01:46 AM
6

Cultivating self-discipline can be difficult for women because we face hardly any consequences for being undisciplined. Failed at another diet, your home is a mess, you have no energy for your children, the career you insisted upon is stagnating, and your husband is unhappy? LOL that's just life! <- according to pretty much every woman my age on my Facebook feed. Women who DO maintain their figure, home, children, and marriage well are seen as "trying too hard" out of conceit or arrogance... or …
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/16 05:40 PM
1

Going from lurking to posting, because I did a very similar thing. I say "similar" because the man in question had been my fiance, not boyfriend, when I single-handedly destroyed our relationship. Also, I have always had a touch of RP theory guiding my behavior, perhaps in the beginning only to rebel against my uber-feminist parents but ultimately because I realized that traditional roles and embracing my femininity made me happy. It was why he dated me in the first place, and he was very clear …
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/16 04:22 PM
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