TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

no_user_selected Archive

View 0 posts and 148 comments by no_user_selected on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

mine cheated on me with a guy that sold "illegal" substances, and then cheated on him with a police officer, while she was still married to me...
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 04:49 PM
4

same for me
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 04:41 PM
7

In my case, it's the apl that is making her drag things out. Everyone thought mine would go fast too, but once she started getting $3k a month in apl it gave her no incentive to move things forward, and to stall as much as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 11:05 AM
4

They get better for like a month and then go right back to how they were. Do you have kids? It's also interesting that you say she is a good person to everyone else. I thought my ex was the same, but a couple of people told me afterwards that she always seemed "off" and talked down to people. Some are now even saying that since we separated she is arguing with other people a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 04:03 PM
3

It is crazy, at least in my area, it's a huge "win" for a man to get 50%, but women get 50% as the lowest they can go.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 08:33 PM
1

I'm on Lexapro and it seems to help.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 11:30 PM
5

In my state, child support is only based on income so it wouldn't matter. If your mortgage is taken into account for support, maybe just put it in a savings account until the 14 years are over and pay it off then.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 06:46 PM
2

I bet your ex is just making it up. I'd ask your lawyer next time you talk to them. My case is similar, we basically had an agreement, but now we are over a year into it and she is fighting over everything.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 05:32 PM
2

I'm sure your lawyer would have told you if he was serving a 3rd party for some reason. Are they living together and your lawyer is trying to prove that for alimony reasons?
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 05:18 PM
2

That seems to be common. My wife works part time, I work full time, but with alimony (apl) and child support, her net pay is higher than mine.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 03:34 PM
2

She served me a year ago, we have the custody and support hearings done, but she is dragging her feet on the equitable distribution because she is getting a lot of money in APL.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 03:18 PM
5

For the temp custody, make sure they are court ordered too. I had an agreement between lawyers and then my ex tried to come back later and say she never actually agreed so I had to file a custody complaint.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 03:19 PM
0

if you have to stay amicable to coparent, then don't.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 02:05 PM
7

You need an attorney yesterday, it's expensive and sucks, but go find one.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 12:38 PM
1

I paid it using post-separation funds. I was told it's part of the equity in the house, but my ex is getting the house, so I doubt I'll ever get reimbursed for it. I would go with your lawyer's recommendation and pay for it out of a joint account.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 09:33 PM
3

It can be tough sometimes, but it's best to respect your boundaries and help someone who will appreciate it instead of your ex.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 01:21 AM
1

Yeah, the master will basically say the marriage is over, and that stops apl. Hopefully you only have 1 more month of the apl garbage.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 02:50 PM
2

I had a de novo support hearing where the hearing officer came in late and decided that they didn't want to hear my case that day so they rescheduled it. It cost me $3k in legal fees to go sit in the courthouse and be told that the officer didn't feel like hearing my case...
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 02:44 PM
2

I'm not sure what state you're in, but in PA you can file a 3301(d) at the year point to basically have a master determine that the marriage is over. This will move equitable distribution to post-divorce, but it stops APL. This is for when one party is dragging their feet. It sounds like you are already through custody and support, so it would be worth looking into if your state has something similar.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 02:37 PM
4

He sounds like a douche canoe. You gave him a good deal, he should be happy you aren't taking him back into a support hearing to get the amount increased.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 09:07 PM
4

I think saying the "N word" sounds a lot worse than just saying narcissist lol. You are right though, my ex checks a lot of the narc boxes. The best way to deal with it is to document it, respond with just simple answers (ok, yes, no), and be the best parent you can be. Also a parenting app does wonders to change their communication. I also think that my relationship with my son actually got a lot better since my ex and I separated, she can't cause a ton of stress for us when he is with me now.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 12:29 PM
-2

You could probably have chatgpt help out, and then pay a lawyer for an hour or so to review it for you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 01:50 PM
6

If she isn't physically abusive with an actual police record to prove it, she will at the minimum get 50%. Depending on the state she could possibly get more if she pushes.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 10:19 AM
7

Mine didn't ask for social media, but they asked for the QuickBooks login info for my employer. A. I don't have that B. I would get fired immediately for giving that out
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 12:38 PM
2

My wife wanted 80%, after the custody hearing we ended up 55/45, and I get my kid every fri to mon morning and 1 thurs a week because she works weekends. They don't always get what they want. You will need to line up childcare for the hours you are working, it helps a lot in court if your parents or other family is close and would be willing to help. She can't take your equity in the house as child support, they are two separate things. In my county they average the last 6 months of pay for chil…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 12:35 AM
0

They should be sleeping in their own beds
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 12:51 PM
2

I rented a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom double wide. It has the stereotypes with it, but it was half the price of a similar apartment, it's 2 years old, it actually has a yard and 2 car driveway, and has a community pool and playground. I'll still buy a house in the next year or two, but the double wide is working out really well. My 8 year old says he even likes it more than the marital house (a 3k sqft house on 6 acres lol). I'm kind of in the same position where all of the houses that i like are out …
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 02:19 PM
2

Do you have a custody order saying you have full custody? That would solve the ssa and school issues in one shot. You provide that to both of them. I'm guessing you aren't the biological parent? If that's the case, you didn't adopt, and got divorced, you are going to have a tough time. I don't have any lawyer recommendations for you, you will want to find someone who works in your county a lot though.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 01:51 PM
2

Mine posted something about bringing the patriarchy down, while trying to get the house (that she didn't help pay for at all), child support, and alimony. She also claimed in court that the maximum that the hospital would let her work for a full time job was 24 hours... as an RN, one of the most needed positions. She was really saying, "I'm going to pretend to bring the patriarchy down while living off my ex."
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 05:07 PM
3

Is your name on the deed for the new house? She may have screwed up bad because inheritance usually isn't divided in divorce unless it's co-mingled, but if you're both on the title for the house, she's going to owe you $600k to keep it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 10:47 PM
2

When you separated everything, did you also separate in the marriage? You would only be liable for the debt incurred before the separation date.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 08:18 PM
1

equitable distribution, it's still mostly 50/50. You might be able to prove that she ran the debt up on purpose and get it assigned to her, but that will be a tough battle.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 08:15 PM
2

yep, you will split the assets and the debts, but they will likely make you give her half of the debt amount out of the assets also. So if its $200k debt, $600k 401k. she will get $300k out of the 401k plus another $100k to cover your half of the debt, and you will end up with $200k. It's nuts.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 08:10 PM
1

if you have assets to cover it (401k, house, stock, etc..), they will be sold to cover your portion before you can even leave.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 07:15 PM
2

I ask my self “why are we doing this?” Every day. This is the part that gets me, our divorce shouldn't be this difficult, but every single thing she has to fight all the way into court, and it ends up being either what I already agreed to or worse for her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 06:19 PM
6

It's normally her income vs. your income, her boyfriend being well off doesn't usually matter. If your incomes are different now, then it's worth getting a lawyer and changing the support. Have you tried the online calculators for your state to see how big of a difference it makes?
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 06:16 PM
6

I love when you pay a bunch of money to lawyers and the court just waives their hand and says they don't want to deal with it. In my case, I scheduled a de novo support hearing because the first hearing officer added a bunch of income to my side of the equation that I don't actually receive. My lawyer and I had witnesses come in, superior court precedent, etc.. and the hearing officer said that it was too complicated and they didn't want to hear it t that day. I spent $3k having my lawyer come i…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 12:03 PM
2

If she can't refinance it or pay it off to get you off the mortgage, she would have to sell it. In my state, if she got $600k, there is no way she would get alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 01:12 PM
8

Yep, they magically never go down.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 01:08 PM
4

I have 45%, I think that is pretty close to 14 nights (I have 3 nights every week, and 1 week is 4 nights). The difference between 45 and 50 is 1 night a month, and I just accepted it. My ex went in wanting 80/20 and was making all kinds of allegations, luckily the court saw through it and tried to balance it out. I would take the 14 overnights as a win, and maybe in a few years go back for 50 if you really want to, I actually think the 45 works pretty well for me. I just counted January and min…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 08:34 PM
2

A quick Google search says that anything that wasn't listed in the final decree can be split up later and there is no time limit. She should only get the value based on what it was back then though, not the current value. The house is actually interesting, there is a 10 year statue of limitations on the enforcement of a judgement, so she effectively had 10 years to contest being bought out of the house (unless the decree says otherwise). It also doesn't mean she is just out the money, it just ma…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 12:52 PM
1

lawyer fees for the trial
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 10:06 PM
1

I did (well, my lawyer did). In my county, you go in front of a hearing officer, both sides lay out what they want and why, and then the hearing officer sends their recommendation a week later, if both sides are ok with that, then it's set, if not, then you file for a de novo trial. I had to because we informally agreed to 60/40 in favor of my wife, but then she started saying that she wanted 80/20 and was threatening to not do exchanges. We ended up with 55/45, because the officer didn't want t…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 09:36 PM
1

right, it's a clown show
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 09:19 PM
1

Unfortunately, if your court is anything like ours, they will give her an extension because of the withdrawal. It's crazy how they always reschedule things to be 6 months out.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 09:05 PM
2

I wonder if the lawyer was delaying the trial so that they could get paid and not go deeper into the hole with your ex. She will most likely get another extension because the lawyer withdrew. Are you paying APL or spousal support right now? That would be something that you could get dropped because of the delays.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 08:59 PM
4

This is the same thing that came to my mind. If he is really yelling to the point it's abusive, I'd be trying to get custody changed so that they spend less time with him. Courts will actually listen to kids once they are teenagers, and a step dad on a power trip is a good reason for them to fear going there.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 05:30 PM
4

That's brutal, I'm in a similar but not quite as bad situation. I'm paying $3100 for one kid, but they are basing support on the company I work for's revenue because I'm a minority shareholder and get a k1 for revenue I don't actually receive. I'm going to have to actually leave my job because there is too much risk that the company does well and child support bankrupts me, it's insane. I have an offer for another job, which will drop support down to about 1300. I just hope they don't try to imp…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 03:04 PM
4

Or they could just set it up like expenses at work, keep track of receipts and turn them in, they could even "expense" a portion of their mortgage, car payment, etc.. because I know that is the argument against tracking the spending.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 02:10 PM
2

My exs list was very similar. My pro-tip is it doesn't matter, 11 months into it and I've pretty much gotten over how she acted. The thing you need to do now, file for divorce before she does, someone will tell her to start claiming abuse. File, get 50/50 custody, and get out. Don't move out until you get a custody order, though. I made the mistake of just getting it in an email between lawyers, and my ex tried to fight for 80%. I ended up agreeing to 45/55 in her favor at the hearing, I could e…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 06:46 PM
1

The risk with taking on debt is that since you are the higher earner, you might get stuck with it. Are you going to sell the house in the end? If so, just pay for it out of a joint account. If you aren't separated yet, use a joint account. If you are already separated, and someone is keeping the house, they should be the ones footing the bill from either their part of the asset distribution, or out of their post separation income. One thing to keep in mind, any bill that isn't the mortgage or ut…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 11:29 AM
6

None of my good friends or their spouses really liked my ex so I'm still friends with them. The only "friends" that I really got alienated from were our son's friend's parents, because my ex went on a campaign telling them I was abusive, and since they didn't know me that well they believed her.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 11:01 AM
3

even if they are married 😂
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 01:57 PM
3

I don't know what it was called but mine was on the floor that took care of people after surgery right before they would be discharged. It was mostly elderly people. She also got to the point where she hated men. I paid every bill, and her paycheck just went into her own checking account because it was "her" money. We split chores pretty evenly, but that was never good enough for her, she would be vacuuming and yelling about how it's a woman's job to vacuum. During covid, I ended up getting it p…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 01:38 PM
6

Jesus... I wonder if dating apps can filter out nurses lol
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 01:17 PM
12

nurse... I do think that it kills their empathy
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 03:01 AM
4

It's also better to rent a Ferrari than to own one and pay for maintenance...
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 05:11 PM
3

It also sets up the situation where the mom can choose to not work at all, maximize child support and live off the new husband's income. A lot of states would impute her income, but even that seems like a joke most of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 07:57 PM
1

It's social media and the lawyers just milk it for all they can. I was told that I tortured my ex because she was sleeping at 1 in the afternoon upstairs and my (6 year old at the time) son bounced a basketball in the basement 3 times before I was able to get him to stop. She literally said it was a Geneva convention war crime to not let someone sleep.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 11:19 AM
6

My son actually opens up a lot more during my time because his mom isn't around to criticize every move he makes. We probably have better memories now because we aren't walking on eggshells around her anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 10:45 AM
2

That's the most common method, but you're right, it doesn't matter how she does it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 03:21 AM
8

She needs to refinance the house and pull the money out to give to you. If she earned that savings while you were married, then it's joint and should be split. You should retain a lawyer, it's going to cost you a fortune if you don't.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 01:55 PM
1

We have 55/45, She gets Monday after school through Friday, and I pick up Friday after school and drop our son off at school Monday morning. The 2nd weekend of the month, I get Thursday after school instead of Friday. I wanted 50/50, but this was as far as she would go without going to trial. It works good for business trips because I can fly out Monday after I drop him off at school, and get back on Thursday night. It also helped that she works 12 hours shifts Friday/Sat/Sun.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 03:42 PM
1

3 weeks is plenty of time for a lawyer to figure this out. It's going to be a lot cheaper to hire a lawyer than to fight this without a lawyer and lose.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 09:53 AM
3

Ah yeah, arrears will do that. The same thing happened to me, I was paying all the bills but still got hit for $3000, even though I was only moved out for a month at that point. My ex was literally just saving her whole paycheck while I paid for everything for 2 houses and they still hit me with it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 02:01 AM
1

in PA, he would need to be making $15k a month net for child support to be high (with 2 kids and 20% custody), did he have a huge alimony payment too or something? If the calculation is really that far off, he should hire an attorney and file for a support modification. He should be paying more like $1200 a month. $2400 a month in alimony on a $5000/month salary with $1200 in support would be nuts.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 12:33 AM
3

the thing that stinks is the more you grind to make more money, the higher child support goes
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 12:20 AM
3

It's even more fun when they do something wrong, and then when they get called out on it instead of discussing the issue at hand they bring up things from years earlier.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 09:58 AM
2

I've had friends say it's usually around 11-12.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 06:22 PM
1

If the distributions are to you, then you would pay tax on them first, and then split the post-tax income. The company can't pay someone else for your distribution. It should be treated more like she gave you a loan that you are repaying more than something like a 1099.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 03:53 PM
14

I don't think she was doing it for money, she liked the attention. OF is going to take this to the next level for the next generation.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 10:22 AM
1

interesting, there is a jump in those. It probably isn't all from the Kardashians then.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 07:56 PM
1

There doesn't seem to be any correlation with other common divorce search terms. My guess is Google is lumping it in with family attorney (the search pattern is the same) and that spiked because of Kim Kardashian trying to become a family attorney. Her searches dwarf divorce searches so it wouldn't take much for her to manipulate the trends based on a few videos. That's just a guess though and the only celebrity I've seen in the media about it recently.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 10:16 AM
3

At this point it's all business. Luckily you don't have a lot of assets to split, your incomes are similar and the bug one is no kids (I'm assuming since they weren't brought up). It should be pretty straight forward. I would at least consult with an attorney so that you know what you should expect, and possibly use them to file everything.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 12:28 PM
10

It's a strange world. Woman cheats on man, man's fault. Man cheats on woman, man's fault.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 12:25 PM
4

I got accused of the same thing, and then I offered to pay child support at 60/40 in her favor if I got 50/50 custody. We ended up going to the hearing and it ended up 55/45 in her favor. Still not what I wanted, but I can't afford the full trial for 1 day extra a month.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 05:32 PM
5

Copy the content of the email into a file in notepad, save it as something like email.html and then open it in chrome. or just copy and paste it into chatgpt and ask it about the text and if there are any messages. Even if she is cheating you shouldn't be going through her email, if you think she is, you're probably right and should just divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 10:48 AM
2

I disagree, a Corvette is way better than a Porsche :)
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 06:50 PM
2

If everything is already ruled on, why isn't it finalized? There should be 3 tracks, custody, support and assets/equitable distribution. Once they are done, then the divorce should be able to be finalized.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/25 11:54 AM
17

They don't see her cheating as bad. It's generally if she cheats, its his fault, if he cheats, its also his fault.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 01:12 PM
2

That's interesting, mine did the exact same thing. She switched to a woman therapist and made a friend that is divorced, and within a year filled for divorce herself. Our marriage wasn't that great to begin with, but at that point she refused to even be friendly towards me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 01:24 PM
1

I told our son to call his mom on her birthday and he said that she told him not to call her because it was her birthday. I was just like, that's weird, but ok.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 11:50 AM
2

There isn't anything that says it gets deducted from post divorce alimony, but I've heard of judges doing that. The biggest issue with it is it gives them incentive to drag the divorce out longer. My ex probably won't get alimony because she's getting a lot of cash and assets, so the longer she can stay on apl, the more money she makes from me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 03:52 PM
2

Alimony Pendente Lite, In PA you have to pay it after the separation until the divorce is finalized. It's supposed to make things even so that both parties can afford lawyers and pay bills, rent, etc... In my case it gave my ex a higher net income than me, which seems to not be the intent of the law.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 03:44 PM
5

My income is 3x my exs, but because of child support (only 1 child) and apl, her net income comes out higher than mine. And on top of that, her lawyer is complaining she can't afford her bills.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 12:10 PM
1

File for a custody order as soon as you can, and then move out. I even had a custody agreement between lawyers and my ex tried to say she never actually agreed to it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 09:26 AM
0

I would counter that and say that most football players aren't out to actually hurt other players, when one does purposely hurt other players, it tends to make the news.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 03:57 PM
1

Mine did the same thing, and put a bunch of false allegations in it. I had 7 days. I ended up renting a place and buying new furniture from ikea (they deliver pretty quickly) for it. If you have kids, try to get a custody agreement in order to voluntarily move out. From what my lawyer said, judges basically just rubber-stamp these.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 02:55 AM
3

I only told my family and a few of my really good friends. It helps to have a few people you can talk to about it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 01:03 AM
2

I wonder if we could get their incomes imputed as full time psychologists 😂
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 12:05 PM
1

Yeah, that's a great point. I don't know if mine had been planning it for that long, but she (and more likely her lawyer) knows how to use the system and its inherent biases to her advantage.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 03:29 PM
2

Mine drained the joint accounts, and spent $8k as an authorized user on my credit card. When I locked her credit card she filed for exclusive possesion of the house because of "financial abuse" and got me kicked out.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 02:49 PM
3

If you do reconcile, try to get a postnup on the business...
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 01:52 PM
1

It is heartbreaking, my 7 year old constantly tries to find ways to stay longer with me, but I have to explain to him that he has to go back to his mom's house. He also thinks it's really unfair that he has to stay with her an extra day (we do 60/40).
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 01:21 PM
2

Get a custody order/agreement and then you can move out. That's what I ended up doing, it's a relief because it makes it way harder for them to file a fake pfa against you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 11:46 AM
2

Take a deep breath. I did something similar, I offered my wife way more than what she would get in court and she said no, and now 8 months later we are still fighting. I don't even know why we are fighting, it's just burning through legal fees. She even fired her first lawyer. I am willing to walk away with basically nothing, and she is still fighting for more. It doesn't make any sense.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 09:43 AM
6

Just let it go, you got 10k, if you had to hire a lawyer it could have easily cost the 20-25k that would have ate the rest of the equity. It will be easier for you to make that money back than it would be to try to back out of the deal. Think of it as you just paid $25k to get rid of her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 06:10 PM
3

I tell a couple friends a lot more, but for the most part don't mention it. They weren't really mutual friends, and both of them have admitted that they saw all the red flags. I lay it all out to chatgpt though, since it's designed to agree with you it seems to help. If you mess with it, just remember that it doesn't always give the best advice, it's just giving you advice that it is predicting what you want to hear. It's a good dopamine rush if anything.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 02:25 PM
5

That makes sense now why my wife was dating married men...
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 02:09 PM
1

Have you filed a pfa against her for you and the kids? Has she hit the kids? That will be more important than if she hit you. Get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 06:12 PM
1

In my state, the LLC is an equitable division. I built a company from the ground up without any help from my ex, so she isn't entitled to 50%. What we will most likely settle on is something like 10% post-tax cash after a liquidation.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 02:42 PM
3

I'm guessing she wanted the child support that 90% would get her. I personally would just take the extra time unless there is a big financial difference.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 04:53 PM
7

I've seen this on a lot of youtube videos explaining what Judges don't like, they really don't like one parent trying to manage what the other parent does. It comes off, as you said, controlling. Let them do their thing, and you do yours.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 03:43 PM
2

I rented a place but stayed until we had a custody agreement. I ended up paying rent and the mortgage for awhile, and now with the agreement in place I'm paying the mortgage and utilities on the main house until spousal support and child support kick in, which will be about the same as the mortgage and utilities.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 08:16 PM
2

some retirement accounts will let you take a distribution to buy a house
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 01:51 PM
1

Your ex bought you stuff... huh, I may have got ripped off.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 02:35 AM
1

I basically use it to speed up responses and it works well, I still send everything to my lawyer to verify beforehand, but it saves money because the paralegal doesn't need to do as much work. It's great for things like the financial disclosure, I had about 70 questions to answer, I just told chatgpt what my answer was, and it wrote it and formatted it in a way for my lawyer to run with it. It also is really good at catching contradictions by the other party.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 04:08 PM
1

yeah, 1. I'm still going to end up paying a good bit in child support too.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 11:33 PM
11

I'm proposing to lose 85% in settlement to get out of alimony and to keep her hands off of the company that I completely built without her help whatsoever. The whole thing is insane. It's not 85% if you include the company valuation, but that's effectively worthless in day-to-day life. The only time it might be worth something is if the company sells.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 06:09 PM
4

I think that is part of the script that social media teaches. Mine is very similar.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 12:13 PM
2

just do it
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 12:03 PM
2

One of the parties that were in the conversation need to know, he wasn't in the conversation. He said she was talking to someone else on the phone. This is only valid if the party recording is also in the conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 01:17 PM
1

Isn't normally you have to live somewhere for 6 months in order to file in that court? If she moved to CA and waited for 7 months, than she probably did that on purpose because it would be favorable for her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 03:38 PM
8

start posting pictures of you with the kids on social media too
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 07:03 PM
1

Is there anything else that you could trade off on? I am in a similar position where she wants the house, but wouldn't be able to afford buying me out, so I'm willing to trade my equity in the house for not having to pay alimony or getting equity in some of a private company I own (or payout on liquidation). Since we have 3 parcels of land, she could sell the 2 empty parcels to pay off the house, and be mortgage free, we don't have any other debt so she would be in a really good position. I stil…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 04:09 PM
2

Any money put in during the marriage would be split, money that was in the account before the marriage wouldn't be.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 03:09 PM
5

Your lawyer will do discovery, and they would need to be disclosed. Because she opened them during your marriage, they would still be marital assets and would be split with everything else.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 01:31 PM
2

Is there a way to do both, go to the game and then the family event after or vice-versa? I help coach my son's baseball team, and they literally have 1 extra player. If 2 players miss the game, then they have to forfeit. If it's just a non-tournament rec game, the other coach might let us play with fewer players or even let one of the kid's brothers play, but it is entirely up to the other coach. They can make it into a tournament at the end of the year if they have a good enough record, so thin…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 04:22 PM
9

file now before she moves
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 11:52 AM
6

After separation, it doesn't matter.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 03:24 PM
2

Are they maybe looking for ptsd or trauma to say that you had some condition that made her life more challenging? They could then say she sacrificed to support you, and now she wants alimony to compensate for it? 2 other reasons I thought of: Could she be trying to argue that you qualify for VA disability benefits, so she is entitled to more alimony (even if you don't receive them)? It could also be an intimidation tactic, but I believe the VA has stronger safe guards around military records tha…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 12:13 PM
2

I would get your lawyers advice for sure, in my situation we are leaving everything the same until we get divorced (currently separated and waiting for the 90 day period to be up). Changing the money situation around can look bad in court, so you should ask your lawyer. I know technically that after the separation, she wouldn't have any rights to your pay, but if you aren't paying spousal support it is probably a grey area.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 06:03 PM
2

I hope things work out well for you, the whole situation really stinks. If you are still cohabitating right now, the best thing that I've found is to just acknowledge the criticism and leave it at that. Make your reply as boring as possible. I'm assuming "pursue his own happiness" means an affair of some sort. I'm not a therapist, but I bet that they use the criticism internally to justify breaking up their family. To us people with a shred of empathy it seems insane. My wife had an affair, to m…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 04:21 AM
2

Does she make more money than you? Alimony and child support go both directions. The debt should be split in half.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 07:38 PM
6

I might be biased, but I think that my ex-wife is unhappy because she watches a ton of shorts/videos on social media and all of these people present the videos like they have perfect lives. They show off their expensive houses, clothes, jewelry, etc... That is just my gut feeling, but I also watch videos of people buying/racing cars that I could never afford and it doesn't make me depressed at all, I just like the content. To me it just feels like she feels like she deserves that stuff, and I ca…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 07:14 PM
25

I think that we naturally gravitate towards fixing things, and the easiest way to fix a relationship issue is to change your own behavior. What happens is you end up in an infinite loop of being accused of not being perfect and then trying to fix it, but the problem is that your wife/gf doesn't really know why she isn't happy and is just blaming you for everything she can think of. No matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to fix that issue without her having some self-reflection. It amaz…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 05:02 PM
3

soon to be ex wife
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 01:59 PM
10

My stbxw did the same thing. She had her therapist call CPS and report me for "body slamming" my son 4 years ago into his bed (she reported it 4 years after it happened). He was having a tantrum and they (wife and son) were screaming at each other, so I picked him up and he was struggling (he was a 4 year old throwing a tantrum) and put him in bed, I even remember being careful to not hurt him when I put him down. The funny thing is I think when CPS interviewed him, he said that I never hurt him…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 01:03 PM
1

I went through something similar, wife had an affair 8 years ago (no kid), when we separated the affair partner she was with started acting insane so we ended up back together. Then we had a kid, and now 8 years later we are getting divorced. It was never very good after we got back together, and she somehow convinced herself that it was my fault that she had an affair (we both had issues, but that was crossing the line). Hindsight being 20/20 I should have never took her back. With either choic…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 02:08 PM
9

I'm going to be a bit pessimistic here and say that she wants to come back because her last relationship didn't work out and she is the type of person that needs to be in a relationship. You are the backup.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 11:03 AM
1

Would they be able to represent either party since they are friends with both parties?
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 11:59 AM
1

It could be, there are a lot of dumb rules with this stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 04:15 PM
1

That's strange, especially if she already has somewhere else to stay. I hope things work out for you!
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 01:30 PM
2

If you have kids, they do tell you not to move out because it will be used against you in custody hearings. If you don't have kids, I'm not sure why they would recommend staying.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 12:57 PM
2

My stbx works 1 day a month as an RN and got a real estate license and sold 2 houses in a year (sold my family members houses, she barely had to do anything). I paid for all the bills (cars, houses, private school for my kid, etc..) and she acted like a "boss babe" and acted like she was supporting the family. She even told my kid to tell other kids her jobs and if they ask just say that your dad plays on a computer all day... I'm the CTO of a software company I co-founded 10 years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 11:55 AM
3

I'm glad to hear it's peaceful and stress free for you now, I honestly can't wait to be able to do things and not have to worry about what little detail she picks out to give fault with. We are separated and still living together and it feels like her lawyer takes forever to reply to my lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 01:31 AM
3

I hope so too. It's tough because I've been going through it for 14 years now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 01:21 PM
13

The comments in this thread hit home. For the longest time I thought that I was the issue, but then I started to realize that she would find something wrong no matter what. I think it's going to be healthier for our son after the divorce is final and I move out. The half time he spends with me he will realize that not everything he does is wrong. She has gotten him so that he is afraid to do anything because he always gets lectured when he's done, even if he did a good job. It honestly gets to t…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 11:35 AM
2

I'm not sure. My stbxw requested for me to pay all legal fees, but my lawyer said that is always requested and rarely happens.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 04:59 PM
1

I think you'll be ok, you are going to need a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 01:39 PM
1

I think it varies by state, but I know in my case it depends on if they are able to work and what they could reasonably make by working (nurse might be $60k a year, cashier at walmart $30k). If custody is 50/50 and the kids go to school, there really isn't a reason that they couldn't work at least minimum wage if they aren't disabled in some way.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 01:28 PM
1

My wife cheated ~8 years ago. When we were going through the divorce stuff, I agreed to give her the house with all the equity, and all of our savings/investments so that I wouldn't have to pay alimony, I would end up with nothing. It equaled about 10 years of alimony payments, but I just wanted to be done with it and not have to pay $1500 a month or whatever it would have been (she was working part time, and we didn't have kids). The guy that she was seeing, was trying to get her to get a lawye…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 12:22 PM
1

44 hours isn't that long... I usually eat one big meal a day, and if I skip it then I hit 48, and have none of those side effects. You probably should go to the dr. and get lab work done, you might be diabetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 11:34 AM
6

This would help a ton, my 6-year-old has a gluten intolerance, and the reason we found it was because he had a speech delay, some behavior issues, and liked to spin in circles when he was around 1.5 to 2. After we cut out gluten he is now doing really well in school and sports. Some of his classmates, interestingly enough - mostly boys, seem like they have very similar issues to what he had but the parents never took the time to figure out what was causing it. Even his PCP originally said there …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 04:44 PM
2

In my school in the US it was about the same as what you are saying. One kid ended up becoming a UFC fighter and was really good at wrestling, he was celebrated. Another kid went on to start as a running back for a big university, he wasn't celebrated as much as the UFC kid, but was still pretty popular. Our starting quarterback was kind of known as a dork though, and we won the state championship. It might be different at a family level, my dad was never really into sports so it never came off …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 11:21 AM
-1

1 study where they were hitting men with sticks, and average height men were more likely to say something when being purposely hit across the knuckles, and their heart rate raised. That misses the whole point, I'm saying taller men (taller then average - study was average vs short) are calmer and wouldn't instigate a fight to begin with. This just tells me the average height guys were more likely to say something after someone purposely tried to injure them. If someone purposely hit me, I would …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 01:28 PM
1

A few months ago I was in target with my 5 year old son (I'm 6' 180lbs) and we were walking to the toy aisle while my wife looked at clothes, there was a woman walking behind us and I actually thought it was my wife so I looked backward to see and then kept going. When we got to the toy aisle she apologized and said she wasn't trying to follow us. That is the first time I ever experienced anything like that at all, I'm guessing she thought I was concerned because of my son. I thought it was inte…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 04:59 PM
20

From my personal experience as a bigger (6' tall) man, the bigger guys are usually calmer and gentler towards people. Almost every guy who has tried to pick a fight with me has been smaller. I'm sure it's quite a bit different as a woman, but I think there are some Napoleon complexes going on with some smaller guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 02:44 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter