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notreallyhere123456 Archive

View 2 posts and 104 comments by notreallyhere123456 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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773

FDS HUMORnotreallyhere123456/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 01:03 AM
1

DISCUSSIONnotreallyhere123456/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 02:23 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
16

Hahahah. Omg. I was trying to figure out what tissue bloating was. I was like, “connective tissue disorder? That sounds painful. But… what the what? What?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 04:03 PM
5

I honestly think people give this asinine advice because, after awhile, you really do care a lot less, and then taking mental energy out of your day to think about him or what he’s done just feels like too much, and then you kinda just say, “eh… fuck it. Whatever. He’s fucked up beyond my pay grade. Can’t even stand to be angry at that sort of dysfunction anymore.” It’s probably easy to convince yourself that’s forgiveness, but it isn’t. It’s more like fatigue from dealing with the fact of that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 03:12 AM
18

Seriously. Every single one. Doesn’t mean a thing. Actually... all it really means is that they expect you to make them whole and overcome all their issues. When you inevitable fail (because you’re human and that’s not how humans operate), they dump you as it signifies to them that you’re not, in fact, their “dream girl.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:01 PM
3

Actually, my med school and my residency are in entirely different parts of the country. I haven’t noticed one hospital or the other play it fast and loose with consent (although I’m not an obgyn). I think you are somewhat misinterpreting what the paper is saying. The paper isn’t saying that medical students are doing unnecessary pelvic exams - that would be assault, to your point. The authors are talking about how to obtain consent for a very particular part of the procedure. Right now, most ph…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 07:03 PM
6

This simply isn’t true. If a patient requires a pelvic exam as part of a procedure she is about to undergo, a medical student may be allowed to conduct that exam. No sane attending physician would ever conduct or allow a medical student to conduct an unindicated pelvic exam. Even if an attending happened to be that deranged, it’s not as if a medical student and a physician are the only two people in the OR. There is the anesthesia team, the scrub tech(s), multiple circulating nurse, CRNAs, etc. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 06:28 PM
36

I mean, idk... I’d be kinda worried if a man has never been in love past the age of 25 or so. Suggests he has some severe emotional limitations and you are about to be the lucky winner of those...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 12:31 PM
14

My ex told me he loved me like a week into the relationship (and many many times throughout). He treated me worse than any man ever had. My current bf told me he loved me once during the 10 months we’ve been together. And yet he spent this morning making me pancakes that are traditional to where my family comes from and then having dinner catered from my favorite restaurant. And for the first time ever, I actually got flowers for Valentine’s Day. But more importantly, my ex used to leave me out …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:06 AM
5

My currency boyfriend is the only man I’ve dated who’s been in therapy for years. He’s open about the fact that he’s had various issues to overcome when he was younger... and he needed therapy to do that. So, he no longer has those issues. Of course he’s not perfect - no one is - but I don’t feel emotionally exhausted in this relationship. Whatever emotional baggage he has (which isn’t particularly much), he claims it as his own. I’m not asked to carry any of it, which is something I’m just not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 08:50 PM
3

Right... and I never think of myself that way, so I can’t imagine this is what they are thinking...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 08:39 PM
5

I agree with what most women said - it’s not real and it happens to all of us. I never stalked my ex (because I didn’t want to know), but his new gf called me to inform me that they had been dating for longer than we had been broken up some time after our breakup. Why? Idk. I guess the thought of me being ignorant of her existence didn’t sit well with her. Anyway I will spare you the details, because they aren’t important, but over the next 6 months I drove myself crazy hating this woman and fee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 03:22 AM
22

Had the same thing happen to me. Still don’t know wtf. I think it comes from extremely low self-esteem combined with inability to deal with the woman they like as her own complex individual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 05:02 PM
5

One thing to keep in mind - I find that, as time goes on, you may find that his high value traits disappeared awhile back. As women, we tend to attribute positive traits to men that don’t necessarily exist. Many of us want to see the best in people and we definitely want to see the best in the men we love. I assigned so many great traits to the men in two of my most significant relationships. They both unraveled so painfully and I hung on my ideas of those men for a long time anyway. But now whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:23 PM
1

It’s idiotic but aren’t those male boots, lol?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 05:59 PM
5

I honestly don’t think anyone romanticizes drug use or disputes that the fact that, fundamentally, we are all responsible for ourselves. Of course. But yeah, Cobain committing suicide was also tragic. The world moves on from everything, that’s literally how life works. The world would have moved on just the same if Cobain or Winehouse never touched a drop of alcohol, spent their days rescuing puppies, and were shot by a rando. Not sure what any of it has to do with something being tragic. One ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 09:22 PM
4

What?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 06:52 PM
38

I think she deserves so much more empathy than this. She was young, amazingly talented, sensitive, the way many extremely talented people are, and she got screwed by men in her life before she even had the chance to grow up and fight back. Yeah, she was a mess in her 20s. Many people are. Most live through it. Even if you don’t appreciate her music (which I happen to think is brilliant), isn’t the death of a young, bright, talented woman a tragedy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 04:34 AM
11

Can confirm. My asshole started doing this toward the end of a 4 year relationship. Turn out he, indeed, was cheating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 05:31 AM
11

Same with a friend of mine. A brilliant researcher. First baby at 43. Second at 45. Two healthy boys. And she looks great in a bikini (you know, just had to throw that in there). I could say a lot of things about bs we learn about women’s fertility. About how we ignore the fact that intra-group variability far exceed inter-group variance. About how the number of reproductive years is often predetermined by genetics and, again, varies so widely, so age is a factor but only one of many. About how …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 04:21 PM
16

Reminds me of this (starts at about minute 2 in the video) http://www.cc.com/video-clips/9wdqkq/the-colbert-report-the-2012-people-s-party-congress-of-charlotte---youth-vote
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 04:16 PM
13

Yup. I honestly can’t even imagine circumstances under which I’d have to buy a condom. I think the rare times the man didn’t have a condom, I just looked at him and said, “well, that’s all you...”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 04:12 PM
5

Our senior advisor used to creep on all the girls. A few years after I graduated he got arrested/fired for having sex with some girl on a senior trip.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 12:06 AM
17

It means the woman he was supposed to be focusing on found out he was focusing on someone else behind her back. Or something equally pathetic. Either way, boring. Do not respond. Block the number.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 08:52 AM
1

I totally respect your opinion. I obviously would never even attempt to change it - especially because both sides have good points. But because you do seem to actually care about data, just wanted to share that there is very strong evidence that circumcision reduces the rate of STI transmission for women, including HPV. https://www.thelancet.com/journals/langlo/article/PIIS2214-109X(17)30386-8/fulltext https://srh.bmj.com/content/familyplanning/35/1/5.full.pdf https://www.frontiersin.org/article…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 09:56 PM
1

Do you really want male activists to spend more time thinking and talking about penises? I’m not convinced that dedicating any time protesting circumcision is a good use of resources. Plus, there are good arguments on both side of this silly debate. If we let parents not vaccinate their children, I think we can let them decide what happens with a tiny bit of foreskin. No need for involvement from male activists. ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 09:18 PM
9

Exactly. Also - I’ve been that woman - the one everyone claimed he changed for. I’ve done that twice. Both of those relationships ended disastrously, which isn’t shocking. If a man’s friends tell you that, essentially, he sucks at relationships and has a problem with commitment, what do you expect? Best case scenario, you’re his training wheels. If I heard that now, it’d be a giant red flag. I want a man who knows what he wants and willing to work toward that goal. This is actually why I didn’t …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 06:18 PM
20

I really agree with this. One of my best friends is a man who I met on Bumble and dated briefly. I wasn’t in a great place to date at that time and we ended up being friends. And when I say “friends”, I don’t mean “occasional text message friends”. He helped me through the toughest year of my life - I just moved cross county, had my heart broken by my ex, and started residency. It was awful and he got me through it. A year later he met his girlfriend, who’s now one of my best friends as well. He…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 04:17 PM
2

Thank you for saying that. I had a hard time articulating after it happened why I was so angry at that woman. Even my friends kept telling me, “you should be angry at your ex.” And yeah, of course I was angry at him. Angry didn’t even begin to describe the complex knot of emotion I had toward him even before finding out this little piece of information. But it was almost as if him being an asshole excused her behavior. “Maybe he manipulated her, maybe she didn’t know the whole story, blah blah.”…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 01:53 AM
3

So... question for you gals. If the relationship had already been over for awhile, would you still want to know if the infidelity happened before it ended? Because someone did that to me a year after my relationship was over and, honestly, it set me back a year, at a time when my life was already really busy and when I could afford the distraction the least. I don’t feel any sense of gratitude toward that woman. In fact, I feel like what she did was extremely spiteful. She chose to sleep with my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 12:44 AM
40

As a female doctor, I have not seen this happen ONCE during my entire training. And NO, you entering the hospital is NOT seen as you consenting for medical procedures. This sort of misinformation prevents people from seeking the medical care they might need. Barring life saving measures in an unconscious patient with no family around, I’m barely allowed to touch a patient without getting their written consent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/20 09:42 PM
9

Literally why I’d do it. I’d even be willing to never use it myself but women out there should know, if they are unfortunate enough to cross his path.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 01:17 AM
57

There is a really immature part of me that feels like there should be a place to just photos of these men and awful shit they’ve done. Lols obviously I’d never actually do anything like that, but in the alternate universe...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 09:20 PM
10

Haha. I hate this laid back shit. Once a man I used to have a crush on years earlier told me that “men just want women who are easy going and relaxed and don’t stress them out. You are really fun loving and relaxed but there is a side to you that’s really tightly wound and men can sense that. I thought about that for a second and was like, “Oh, fuck that. That makes 0 sense. 1. I’m an actual complex human. 2. I’m a fucking surgeon. Of course I’m tightly wound!” I will never understand how “laid …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 07:23 PM
8

All I know is that no one is less “laid back” than a man who claims he is “laid back.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 06:34 PM
12

I suspect it’s because we, as society, gave men some tacit permission to continue in stunted adolescence indefinitely. We basically said it was ok to not want commitment or take responsibility for your actions with women. So, suddenly, the bare minimum things men used to do - asking a woman out on a date, paying for the damn date, opening car doors, referring to her as his girlfriend, staying monogamous, proposing within a reasonable period of time (or breaking up in a respectful manner) - becam…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 06:09 PM
16

Men are nuts. It’s like being in relationships with sullen teenagers. Did you ever figure out wtf his problem was, other than being a selfish jerk, obviously?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 05:48 PM
5

I’m with you 100%. I’m a very forgiving person, to a fault. But I choose not to forgive my ex. And I deserve to have that choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 06:05 PM
23

So true! My ex used to call his ex-wife crazy. Goes without saying, I was an utter idiot back then and thought he changed for me and they just weren’t good for each other. And I kinda hated her because I thought all his misgivings about commitment were a result of their relationship. Like I said, I was a moron. A moron in love, which is the worst kind off moron. Anyway, he proceeded to slowly emotionally withhold and lie over the next 4 years, to the point where I was an emotional mess and didn’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 05:30 PM
21

I’m sure you made the right decision, but just to put it out there - I have a really busy job where I am on for 30 hours at a time several times a week (the rest of the time the schedule is more normal) and, during those 30 hours, I sometimes have absolutely no access to my phone for hours-long stretches and am putting out fires with barely sitting down for the other 22. But, if I’m interested, I will still find time to text back 90% of the time. Even if it’s a quick text saying, “omg, wtf, all …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 05:00 PM
5

Lol, you should make this an Onion article. “80% of men have below average penis size, study finds.” The truth is, yeah, the average is definitely far below what they think it is and the standard deviation isn’t exactly impressive either. But here they are, stressing over half an inch one way or the other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 04:27 PM
11

I can’t stand all the “I grew from it” bullshit. Well, congratulations on your growth. Is that supposed to make me happy or something?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 09:06 PM
4

Those first few seasons were so awesome, I don’t care what anyone says. I embrace my total girliness and stand by my viewing choices
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 07:08 AM
42

I agree. And here’s the other thing. I haven’t forgiven my ex for being a giant awful trash bag to me. And you know what? It’s my choice not to forgive him. Some will say it’s just hurting me because I’m holding onto it. But I don’t think I’m holding on to it to some crazy degree - I choose not to forgive him because it reminds me that he IS responsible for the things he choose to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 08:19 PM
17

Lol, true... and yet I can’t help kinda loving them (sneaks away cowering before people start throwing things)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 08:11 PM
6

I really learned this lesson the hard way. I was “the one he changed for” - until I wasn’t. Then he “changed” for the woman he cheated on me with and had the audacity to tell me that “he doesn’t want to do this to anyone anymore.” Like I was the last victim of his being a degenerate and, from here on out, he would be the fucking bastion of honor and respect. He was so delusional, he actually thought that would make me feel better. And when my emotional response was, “I don’t give a fuck about an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 11:28 AM
27

You know, your response made me realize something. Many men somehow acquire this idea that every “feeeeling” and “emotion” they have is valid and they deserve the time to process it. Even more, they believe they are entitled to other people’s time while processing their feelings. It’s particularly annoying as most of those “complex” feelings can be boiled down to “I don’t wanna! I don’t feel like it! Don’t make me do stuff! Me me me me .” Whereas women, to your point, for better or for worse, ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 05:55 PM
4

To second what someone else already said - we are actually taught to be comprehensive and ask very open questions, in the name of being holistic and all. ;) Now, don’t get me wrong - as someone who is very subspecialized, I only ask pertinent questions that are within my scope, but that’s not a strength, it’s simply a result of being overworked with too high a patient load. And I’m sure my patients get upset that I DON’T care what other psych meds they are on or don’t take the extra five minutes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 08:18 PM
22

Been there too. Same story. Found out a year later. I can only hope karma is a thing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 10:39 AM
13

You know, I kinda agree - it does make it easier on them. But it also preserves your energy and (most of the time) integrity. I think it’s a payoff. I was cheated on once, by a man I loved and, therefore, spent a lot of time pretending to be blind to his many fundamental flaws. I found out a year out of the relationship and living 2000 miles away, so it probably took some bite out of it, but not much. We were still talking a lot back then and I absolutely did everything in my power to tell him w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 10:09 PM
6

Why is it that men named Brad are always cheating assholes? Case in point, my cheating ex who, as it turns out, has cheated on every woman he has ever been with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 03:14 AM
26

I also find it interesting how it actually does reflect the reality of relationships. A man decides that a strong woman is too much, so she walks away. Some submissive/feminine/understanding chick comes along and implodes his world entirely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 04:14 PM
21

I also learned that each time you talk to them, you’re are increasing the chances that they will say something awful to you. It took me a year to stop talking to my exbf - they man who completely and entirely broke my heart. And in that year, throughout that co-dependent, dysfunctional, string-along year, he devolved further and further away from the man I loved and thought he was. By the time we stopped talking, he had managed to destroy every good memory and every warm feeling I’ve ever had fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 06:48 PM
21

I think women are too hard on themselves anyway. I’m 5’7 and have never weighed more than 145lbs. Like 145 has always been my scary number that I’ve gotten to several times since the age of 16. Usually I’m in the 135-138 territory. And somehow I’ve spent my entire adult life thinking I could stand to lose some weight, which ok - sure - almost everyone could stand to lose SOME weight, but it’s not like that’s ever been my real problem. Now I look back on some photos of myself from when I was 27 o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 06:33 PM
51

Same here. I’ve had multiple people tell me I look way hotter now than I did in my mid20s. I think some women keep that subcutaneous baby fat layer much longer than other women, so they miss out on the whole early/mid 20s “lean and hot” period. But in return, their skin ages at far slower rate. So, you throw in staying in shape, better hair cuts, more skillful makeup, and generally becoming a more interesting human - not too hard to be hotter at 39 or whatever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 05:33 PM
3

I’m SURE that’s what it was on some level, but I don’t even think he had an army of women lined up. I mean, maybe, but that’d at least be logical or something. This felt more like someone so wrapped up in their own bs, they can’t even imagine that someone has a separate life. Actually, that doesn’t feel quite right either. It was almost as if he was playing out some narrative and I wasn’t fitting into that narrative, so he’d feel frustrated. But to this day, I’m still not sure what that narrativ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 09:08 PM
7

Well, I met him via bumble - lol, didn’t really take much effort. But to your larger point, this is what I never understood. I can find time as a surgical resident, and you, as a lawyer in a small firm, can’t? Get the f out of here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 02:20 AM
22

I once tried dating a guy who did that. He’d constantly try to reschedule or want to hang out on a minute’s notice. He never got it through his head that I was a first year resident in a surgical specialty. I had no time. Or life. Or control over either one of those two. Still don’t know what he thought or what his issue was but we kinda stopped talking because all his rescheduling got very boring
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 12:57 AM
1

I just dislike that approach to life. Ugh, the last man I went out on a few dates with before meeting my now bf was the epitome of that. I once parked my in his driveway because we were planning to drive to a winery. He asked me to repark it in case “his 7yo daughter left her water bottle and needs to stop by”. I pretty much told him to fuck off right then. I understand wanting to protect your child. But protecting them from some hypothetical bs by disrespecting a woman you’re going on a date wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 12:47 AM
7

Plus it looks ugly. You’d think people who are “such ViSuaL CreATuREs” would notice when the fucking lid is up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 10:29 PM
3

I honestly don’t know if he does or doesn’t. But kinda the same sentiment either way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 08:15 PM
23

Yep, was going to say the same thing. I’m sorry. I never believed it myself until it happened to me. I’ve been on all sides of that equation and there is absolutely nothing to gain from any of it. If I were you, I’d tell him “well, I’m bored and I don’t think I want to talk to you anymore” and the never ever ever answer his calls again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 05:13 PM
11

I will never understand this men who already have children dating women of reproductive age and assuming they would be ok with no having children. Especially when a woman tell them early on she does want to have children. It’s always some asinine, “but won’t my kids be enough!” Uhm... no! Wtf is that? Stay away from women who want children and date divorced moms. Oh you don’t want that baggage? Fuck you. Lol, I’m feeling feisty this morning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 05:07 PM
5

I guess, but then you realize that the vast majority of men couldn’t care less about all your depth, complexity, and individuality. So, to them, the original and the counterfeit are literally the same. They function at a very basic level and all that other stuff occurs at frequencies they are unable to perceive
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 08:39 PM
93

My ex did that. I didn’t have a baby, I simply moved away as a mutual decision. First he told me that “porn was my best friend” as it would help him to not cheat on me. Then he cheated on me and blamed me for not being understand of his cock needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 06:40 PM
1

Eh... maybe you’re right, maybe you aren’t. No one is perfect and most people aren’t perfect by a long shot. I’ve definitely done some less than ideal things in my past relationships, far worse than he had, in fact (at least as far as I know). The way I ended my marriage of one year was terrible. I was not a good person in that scenario. Yes, it was the right thing to do for the both of us, long term. Yes, I had reasons for leaving. But I feel extremely guilty about how I left - which is how the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 04:19 PM
31

I agree with this 100% and I really learned this the hard way. The man who had spent years claiming how he was different with me, in the end, treated me in the same awful way he’s treated all women before me. My boyfriend now is a complete opposite. I actually don’t know how he treated women before me - he never talks about them in any detail. He’s never said a bad thing about any of his ex girlfriends. I do know his last breakup was pretty tough - he knew they weren’t a good match for very good…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 10:25 PM
5

This truly highlights that the premise of men being “well meaning but clueless at times” is false. They know what they are doing. I once flew 2000 miles to visit my now ex-bf of 4 years. I used my only weekend off in 6 months. I paid for the flight. I even paid for a spa day for us. To this day, I can’t believe he let me pay almost $700 for a day - while making 5x my salary. To this day, I can’t believe I let myself sink that low. Anyway... when it was time for me to leave 2 days later, he didn’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 08:48 PM
1

My ex stalked my bumble account for a year after he broke up with me. He’d read conversations, saw my matches, it’s beyond psychotic. I don’t know how he ever got the password. I don’t know what the hell he was trying to do or why someone would want to see that. I will never understand men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 04:42 AM
3

Silly. Very soon he will find out that it’s far too hard a job to be doing it for that reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 09:59 PM
18

I’m sorry, do you really think many doctors pursue this profession because of money or status? I don’t mean to pick on your comment at all, but it’s such a bad myth to perpetuate. Most doctors out there don’t have either for a very very very long time. Becoming a doctor is probably the least efficient way to get either one of those things
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 08:48 PM
1

Me too! Whoever wrote it is brilliant!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 08:42 PM
5

I’m going to answer your question (or the question you’re really asking), but, before I do, let me say two things. You will have to stop indulging this. It won’t be easy. It won’t feel good. And you don’t get a choice. He’s gone. The relationship is over. He’s never coming back. You don’t get to choose what happens here, only how it happens. So choose to be kind to yourself, kinder than that man had been to you. It’s really easy to waste your life obsessing over a man. It’s easy to indulge these…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 03:26 AM
2

I once asked my current bf (who appears to be a HVM so far... but always be vetting) if he cared that a woman he’s dating was very well off (as in, would he prefer it)? And he said, “Eh... I don’t see how it’d make any difference. Man only really care about how much money they have as a measure of how much they are able to provide for a woman... so I don’t see what her money would have to do anything with anything.” I didn’t tell him that good 60% of men out there won’t pay for dinner on a first…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 07:10 PM
10

I once said something similar to my ex - not as eloquently, of course. He got upset at me for “being judgmental.” Then told me I should be thankful for porn as we were about to be long distance (implying that otherwise he’d be cheating on me). Then he cheated on me. And now looking back - what a douche for making me feel like what I was saying wasn’t, at the very least, reasonable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 09:24 PM
2

Haha. My exbf, the big break up on my life, basically my equivalent of a gnarly divorce - ALL of his exs were crazy and they ALL were just dying to get back together with him (according to him). Can only imagine what he’s saying about me now. I legitimately did say a lot of crazy stuff to him in what ended up being the final act to that shitshow... except now looking back, it wasn’t crazy. It was completely accurate. I think I even said something to the effect of, “you wanna run to you new gf an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 05:38 PM
13

Something just clicked after I read this post. When I started dating my current bf, he was going through a bit of personal crisis (it passed quickly and he never took it out on me). But during that time, I remember feeling OK about being supportive. He thanked me for being there for him. In response, I said, “absolutely. And also, remember, I have my baggage and my particular brand of crazy, it just doesn’t seem to come out around you for whatever reason.” He just said “Ok, I get it.” But here’s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 03:21 PM
13

An ex I dated in my mid-20s did stuff like that. A day or two later after an event he’d always come up with some terrible thing I did. Before I met him, I had lots of friends and always thought of myself as a person with decent social skills. He literally forced me to believe I was a socially retarded hermit who was aloof and didn’t know how to connect with anyone. We had been broken up for many years and he actually managed to grow substantially as a person - not enough to be anyone I’d want to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 02:59 PM
2

Thank you! But just to show there is a light at the end of the tunnel (every time I say this, I feel the need to add “it’s a train!”). My current bf is actually truly great about it and he’s not in medicine. This Friday we were supposed to go out to dinner. I texted him at 6 saying that I was just about done. Then we had two emergent cases come in and I scrubbed in for a quick case instead because we didn’t quite have enough people to cover two rooms and I didn’t want the overnight call person t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:12 PM
26

I had an exbf who was not handy in any way, shape, or form but once decided to rewire his car stereo system. He’d go out and fiddle with it for hours and hours. It was the most boring shit on the planet. He got upset that I wouldn’t want to sit there and watch him - “see, you don’t want to hang out and watch me do stuff.” It was basically a 4yo boy in a 37yo body - “Mom! Watch what I can do!” I want to go back in time and slap my 29yo self for not laughing in his face and dumping him on the spot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 10:38 PM
48

And also, what money? Like an average guy has any money he needs to worry about losing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 08:45 PM
102

Huh? If it all goes wrong they may lose their family? Like the family that doesn’t exist at the time they are getting married? My head hurts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 08:40 PM
22

That’s so typical! My ex claimed that his ex-wife cheated on him and fell in love with the other man. According to him, they tried to make the marriage work (two kids), he took her on a romantic getaway as a way to rekindle their relationship, and found her texting the other man on their drive back, saying she missed him. Sounds terrible. I felt bad for him. What he failed to mention was that he cheated on her constantly, all through their marriage, even when she was pregnant with both their kid…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 08:34 PM
2

He did this for 7 years? Wtf is wrong with men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 03:22 AM
4

Ouch. That’s a painful thought. Somehow I get some sick and twisted pleasure in knowing that the woman he cheated on me with 1. actually is a crazy bitch and 2. felt so insecure that she chose to call me a year after we broke up and I moved cross country just to let me know she exists. How do you feel so insecure over a memory of an ex that you choose to insert yourself into her life without knowing anything about her or the damage you might cause (after you already fucked her bf)? So, clearly, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 02:45 AM
20

So much this! My idiot ex (he had been an ex for many many many years at that point) once texted me a photo of two floor lamps or fans or something asking “which color?” I was in the middle of taking the patient to the OR for an emergent case, so obviously didn’t respond. Then when the surgery was done, I had a million things to catch up on and then another emergent patient came in. At some point, he started texting me pissed off that I hadn’t responded. “Oh what? You don’t have a second to resp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 01:36 AM
17

Here’s my question. I have so much anger against my ex, or at least I did until recently. I spent almost two years being perpetually angry at him and pathetically wanting him back at the same time. Then, 6 months ago, I turned a corner and, little by little, the sheer intensity of those emotions started subsiding. Now when the anger comes, which happens less and less, it feels almost like a memory of the emotion rather than the emotion itself. I wish I had a revenge fantasy. I think it’d be heal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 11:17 PM
14

The thing is, I’m not particularly arrogant, at all. And it never even occurred to him that he was literally telling a female physician that she doesn’t know what she’s talking about when it comes to female anatomy, lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 05:33 AM
11

That sounds awful. I’m sorry. What an asshole
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 05:31 AM
5

In my case, I remind myself that I was asking him for something real - marriage, children, hairy dogs, occasionally messy houses, supporting me through a tough career... in other words, life. He knew I wasn’t going to be happy with anything less. And he was too lazy and selfish to commit to that. I wish I would have gone about all that with more self respect and less heartbreak, which is where the real growth happens, I think. But when that part of me decides to chime in, I remind myself of the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 12:49 AM
30

Mansplaining squared!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 12:04 AM
3

It’s very simple. Men like that hate it that women entered the workforce and now they have to compete with 2x as many people. If only they could go back to the days of coasting on privilege alone and make double the money, they’d definitely pay for dates /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 09:18 PM
42

The way one of my guy friends put it, “As far as any male is concerned, all contact should be accidental and very brief”, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 07:17 PM
161

I told a man I dated for 2 months, after he launched into an impromptu monologue on his hatred of cats, that it was a sign of misogyny. He was very insulted. We broke up shortly thereafter but not before he asked me whether I could orgasm from cervical stimulation. I looked horrified and told him to never ever touch anyone’s cervix, unless he’s on an obgyn rotation and, really, not even then. Then he said, “you’re so arrogant. You think you know everything because you’re a doctor.” And I said, “…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:58 PM
23

I feel like that profile is missing something about a “partner in crime”, otherwise he managed to successfully incorporate every stereotypical thing men say... in under a sentence. Congratulation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 06:36 PM
4

SF men are awful. I was trying to come up with something funny to say, but this is all I got, lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 09:49 PM
3

Absolutely! I’d say nothing enhances the chances of someone leaving as much as them getting intimately involved with another person. I realize that this isn’t even the main issue, but it doesn’t make it less true. So, even if one chooses to ignore all other problems with the idiotic concept of polyamory, I still don’t understand how they think their partner is less likely to leave because he’s fucking someone else. What?! It’s like saying, “Oh, look, my neighbor’s house is on fire. That means th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 09:20 PM
67

AKA - the entire male population of San Fransisco
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 12:14 AM
100

And all the obvious problems aside, I just don’t understand the arrogance one must possess to believe they are capable of sustaining a “polyamorous” relationship, whatever that means. Humans are jealous by nature. Human are possessive by nature. We all do our best to taper those tendencies, but I think we can all agree, we are not as good at tapering them down as, say, an average golden retriever. But even my golden retrievers, the best natured beings in the universe, don’t like it when I’m pett…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 12:12 AM
282

Polyamory is the biggest joke. And it’s usually the most limited people who defend it. After I finally found out about my ex’s cheating, he tried to defend it by saying how I was “too emotional” and didn’t understand that he was capable of loving more than one person. In a rare moment of clarity, all I said back was, “you’re delusional. You’re only capable of loving exactly one person - yourself.” What an idiotic concept
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:36 PM
2

Except, usually, it’s not an either/or kind of scenario, lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:29 PM
3

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m almost two years out from that shitshow (and have worked through a lot of it - but not all of it). I don’t like giving unsolicited advice, especially when I don’t know much about one’s situation, but in the off chance it helps... My ex and I broke up almost exactly two years ago. He spent the next 1.5 years (literally, through the April of this year) fucking with my head. And remember - I moved cross country three months or so before we broke up. So, he m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 03:33 AM
61

Losing trust in yourself and your instincts is what makes moving on so difficult. It dawned on me a little while ago when I found myself saying to my current bf, “it’s not that I don’t trust you. I do. But I was lied to so much in my last relationship and never knew it, so I don’t exactly trust myself to know what’s real all the time.” And that’s why my ex deserves some good ass kicking. Too bad karma is not a thing when it comes to men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 11:58 PM
25

This is EXACTLY what my ex ended up being like. Got together too soon after his separation (but, of course, their marriage Has BeEN OvEr YeARs AgO). After almost 4 years (and so many trying times) together, I end up matching into residency 2500 miles away. We decide to do long distance until we figure it out; we discuss getting married. As far as I’m concerned, we are in this together. I move. 6 weeks later, while I’m visiting him, he’s all broody and says “it’s not like you’d ever be ok with an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:33 PM
22

It’s brilliant amazing. And I think your reaction to it depends on what else is going on in your life when you see it. But regardless of what’s going on in your life, the man’s reaction to it is equally telling. I was in love with my bf in med school. I thought he was brilliant, kind, hot. I thought he was NoT LiKe OthER GuYs. And the he was EXACTLY like all other guys (or whatever), when he broke up with me 8 weeks into my first year of neurosurgical residency... Because he didn’t want a long d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 02:30 AM
57

I think I’ve made half the guys I tried dating in the past year read that monologue. Their reaction to it tells me everything I need to know...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 10:50 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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