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oakanon1 Archive

View 5 posts and 64 comments by oakanon1 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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11

Sure social media has reduced the value of male attention and skewed self esteem, but I don't experience this. I'm probably a ~7.5. 8s don't show me interest and are generally unreceptive. 7s are a coin flip. ~6s are pretty easy. Before I had my shit together I was probably a 6. Then I felt like I couldn't pull for shit because I'm not attracted to the girls I could get at the time. ​ Are you getting rejected by girls you think are below your "level"?
/r/askTRP25/08/20 04:46 AM
30

What's complicated? When they're into you it's easy. When they're not, it's hard. It only gets complicated when you're trying to pull a girl who has low interest in you.
/r/askTRP25/08/20 04:35 AM
1

Do what u wanna do just don’t get yourself in a position where you’ll be destroyed if she cheats on you.
/r/askTRP24/08/20 07:59 PM
1

Ehh she seems reasonable here. I’d probably replace them since she’s not asking for it and it’s only $100.
/r/askTRP24/08/20 07:51 PM
1

From TRP perspective, not my view. I might misunderstand this, but I think there’s a contradiction here. If AWALT is true, and all women will cheat as hypergamy dictates, why does history of cheating disqualify a woman from an LTR? As with all women, don’t be surprised if she cheats. I personally wouldn’t LTR a girl if we both know about her cheating because on some level I think that communicates that I’m okay with cheating.
/r/askTRP24/08/20 07:50 PM
1

Generally no. But the thing is, all women will monkeybranch and/or cheat if they lose attraction for their bf, which is usually at least in part the mans fault. If she thinks you’re the best she can get, she won’t cheat.
/r/askTRP24/08/20 04:56 PM
2

Fats might be too low. Should be ~0.5g/lb of body weight. Regardless of fat intake, I usually have a pretty low sex drive in the last couple weeks of a cut.
/r/askTRP24/08/20 04:54 PM
2

If you want to be interesting, be interested. Conversation is easy when you take an interest in the person you're talking to. If you follow your own interests you have shit to talk about when they ask about you. ​ I was in a similar rut, what changed it was going balls to the wall on everything I felt mildly interested in. For example: Got interested in sexual dynamics, so I read a shit ton about it, listened to podcasts, youtube vids, subreddits. This lead to an interest in evolutionary psychol…
/r/askTRP23/08/20 08:16 PM
1

I think the biggest problem I had with oneitis was not accepting that some periods of my life will be more sexually/intimately gratifying than other periods of my life. I've only had sex like THAT with two girls, in 2 different LTRs that spanned ~3.5 years each. I'm in my late 20s. I've been sexually active for about 11 years, 7 of which were in relationships, 4 were not. The 4 years outside of relationships were not as sexually gratifying as the 7 in relationships. I don't expect to ever be in …
/r/askTRP23/08/20 08:06 PM
2

Definitely possible.
/r/askTRP04/07/20 03:44 AM
9

She chose to hang out with another guy instead of you. Cheating or not, she’s not as into you as an LTR should be. Sounds like you don’t want to dump her. Mentally you need to check out of this relationship and see how her behavior changes. I don’t personally have an issue with an LTR having guy friends in some cases, but I learned the hard way, shit like this means she’s losing interest. Get her to do all the work to maintain the relationship, focus on other shit. She might do a 180 and be all …
/r/askTRP04/07/20 03:41 AM
1

Absolutely not
/r/askTRP03/07/20 11:01 PM
3

Could be how you present yourself. I dropped some cash on nice clothes recently and women are waaaay less bitchy to me. Cute barista at my regular coffee shop was always kinda bitchy to me but I always showed up after rolling out of bed and looking like shit. The day I came in with my new clothes and after showering, her attitude was a complete 180. Holding eye contact, friendly, giggling. Random women’s attitude towards me seems directly correlated to how put together I am.
/r/askTRP03/07/20 06:09 PM
2

You’re in a position of strength since you have options and don’t really care. Initiating every once in a while is fine. I noticed their interest goes down if I’m initiating more than 2/3 conversations, but half and half is fine.
/r/askTRP03/07/20 06:04 PM
3

Wouldn’t call it a red flag but it might be a good idea to cut back the frequency or go radio silent for a week or two. Some girls are like that
/r/askTRP03/07/20 06:01 PM
2

Seems a little over the top to me, but you set your own rules and she's clearly violating one so theres your answer.
/r/askTRP03/07/20 09:06 AM
6

That example wasn't exactly my point but I don't think women make up their minds to lose interest. I think attraction is a little more subconscious than that. Sometimes you both pulling back makes it fizzle out. But in my experience the proper response to a girl pulling back is to pull back as well, and because that shows non-neediness, it's attractive. Also a woman's feelings change on a dime.
/r/askTRP03/07/20 08:40 AM
18

It's not about NOT having feelings, it's about being aware of them and strong enough to behave according to your principles regardless of how you feel. All men feel insecure, shitty, weak, beta, needy, miss their ex, oneitis, scared, etc.. You notice those feelings and then act how you SHOULD act to achieve what you want in a given circumstance. ​ Example: LTR is blowing you off and clearly losing interest. Feelings: insecure, nervous, sad, afraid of loss. Behavior: Strength, don't react. Pull b…
/r/askTRP03/07/20 08:15 AM
5

Yeah, normal. I’m pretty much over it but I still think about her at least once a day. Girls come and go, thoughts/feelings come and go. Trying to stop feeling/thinking something is just added tension. So what, think about her and continue doing what you’re doing. It’ll pass.
/r/askTRP03/07/20 12:55 AM
2

Yep. Sounds more like a test than a loss of attraction. Either way, this is the move.
/r/askTRP01/07/20 06:50 PM
1

Stop seeing her as your girl. Read up on evolutionary psych, that helped me internalize this shit more than RP content did. The worst outcome biologically is to put your resources on raising a kid that’s not yours. We’re designed to feel TERRIBLE at the thought of our woman getting impregnated by another man. It feels like this until you stop spending resources on her, including attention. Remove your attention from her, place some attention on other mating options, and the cuck reflex dies down…
/r/askTRP01/07/20 02:35 AM
3

Add her and message her. Don’t overthink it. “Nice working with u for a few hours. Let’s get drinks. Phone number.” Ideally you could call back to something in the convo, anything that was funny. I find inside jokes to be the easiest way to break the ice, then it’s easier to have a relaxed fun time.
/r/askTRP01/07/20 02:27 AM
3

I was asking the same questions for the last few years. I’m 27 and moved out a month ago, already couldn’t imagine living at home again. It’s just better, in every way. Get out there.
/r/askTRP24/06/20 04:55 PM
2

Primary lifts are the main drivers of strength and size. But along with progressively increasing weight on the bar, you should aim to get sufficient volume for each muscle group. It varies, but generally 12-20 sets per muscle group per week is the sweet spot. Accessory work is meant to either address weaknesses that are preventing progression in the main lift (ie. triceps might be the weak point in your bench/overhead press progression, so more tricep dominant strength movements will help). Unti…
/r/askTRP22/06/20 09:08 PM
2

I’m not making a moral judgment. I’m reporting what my experience is with fucking girls I’m not into apart from their body. I’m not saying I’m a better man for it.
/r/askTRP14/06/20 07:50 PM
1

Feelings and attachment aren’t the same thing. Of course you can enjoy the connection with women, the point is to remember that connection can be found with WOMEN, not just one special woman. And depending on one woman for that connection/fulfillment will lead to suffering. Non-neediness is the goal, it’s not to just see women as walking wet holes. Pussy is nice but we’d all be lying to ourselves if we say that’s the only thing we like about having a woman around.
/r/askTRP12/06/20 05:36 PM
1

Yeah. After that last fuck I was thinking I should probably not. At least I can tell myself I’m getting laid, but I’m not super into fucking her and it probably does kill my motivation to go approach. She’s a cool girl and she hasn’t done anything wrong so it’s not like I need to next her fully, but an easy, steady fuck that’s just whatever to me is probably not a great thing to have when I need to get more experience talking to women.
/r/askTRP09/06/20 05:21 PM
2

Doesn’t feel like that but there is a certain peace that comes with not having a girlfriend that I’m not able to enjoy for some reason. My life is drama free and I can do whatever the fuck I want without anyone saying shit. Yet somehow, I still feel like somethings missing. Everyone says you need to be complete on your own, and the fact that I feel like somethings missing probably means I’m approaching all this the wrong way.
/r/askTRP09/06/20 05:18 PM
1

Thanks. Yeah, I don’t see myself developing oneitis again. I‘m 27, only had two relationships and both were over 3 years. Got oneitis for both, got WRECKED in both break ups. Both relationships fell apart the same way. I got weak and needy, they pulled back, rinse, repeat, they both left me for another dude. Then I fucked someone else’s oneitis, I don’t know the guy but she told me a bit of the story and he was blowing up her phone and shit. And all I could think was how repulsive and pathetic t…
/r/askTRP09/06/20 05:16 PM
1

I forgive her, she wasn’t trying to fuck me up she’s just..a woman. And acted according to how she felt. All good. Letting it go is tough but whatever. I don’t know how I am with women. I have one steady fuck that I’m not really feeling, she’s cute but idk. Doesn’t do it for me. I’ve never really had a super long slump, but the women I’ve hooked up with just kinda showed up somehow. Feels like fish flop into the boat often enough for me to eat, but I don’t feel confident in my abilities to catch…
/r/askTRP09/06/20 05:07 PM
2

Assume you’re talkin pre-tax 12,000 in cash: emergency fund. 15-20k new car 6,000 ROTH 19.5k 401k 25-30k in taxable investment accounts for house purchase in 8 ish years. Alternatively: Keep it all cash, Quit my job and live in Yosemite for a summer, find a new job in the fall and then allocate what’s left as listed above.
/r/askTRP08/06/20 09:48 PM
2

What's shit all progress? You probably have unrealistic expectations. This shit takes a lot of time.
/r/askTRP03/06/20 07:08 AM
2

Routine is crucial to mental health, as is getting tired enough throughout the day to crash when you go to bed. ​ 6 AM: Out of bed 6-7: Coffee, light reading, thinking about what I need to do that day. Slowly wake up. 7-9: Work, no meetings or distractions. Just get my shit done 9-915: Go for a walk, more coffee. 915-11: Meetings or continue working on my shit. 11-11:15: Walk 2, make quick breakfast 11:15-12:30: Work 12:30-1:30: Lift in backyard or Run, depending on the day. Shower. 1:30 - whene…
/r/askTRP16/05/20 05:50 AM
1

Nah I didn’t see that I read that you said you’re a regular looking dude. There’s nothing wrong with it but there is tremendous value in physical progression, especially strength wise. It’s like any other goal, once you reach it it’s generally a good philosophy to set a higher goal.
/r/askTRP12/05/20 09:32 PM
1

What you mean important? Not enough for what? Yeah it’s better to be healthy, strong, and look good naked vs the opposite. You decide what’s important to you but I don’t understand how someone can say “ehh, strength training and eating well isn’t really worth the benefits”. Also if you follow any solid lifting program and keep your caloric surplus to ~100-300/day, you’re gonna mitigate most of the fat gain. And muscle is metabolically active so building muscle raises your RMR, making it easier t…
/r/askTRP12/05/20 06:55 PM
6

Missing something implies somethings lacking - unhappy without. Saying I miss you is saying I’m feeling a bad emotion and need you to respond to help me feel better. Prob better to just set up a meet. No need to explain how you feel about it.
/r/askTRP12/05/20 04:55 AM
3

Yes you can. I was really fucked up over a break up after a 4 year relationship. We broke up 3.5 months ago, and she was constantly on my mind. You have to break down why you feel so shitty. A big part of it is ego. Men are hardwired to determine their value as a man by how successfully they can reproduce. A break up is rough because someone that knows you better than anyone else has decided that you’re not worthy to reproduce with. It hits a deep self-value trigger. The thing you miss is an ill…
/r/askTRP10/05/20 04:52 PM
1

Like anything else, depends on how it affects you. If you’re questioning it, you might want to stop for a bit and see what happens.
/r/askTRP08/05/20 10:11 PM
5

The short fix is to shrink your timeframe. Don’t worry about where you’ll be in 5 years, 3 months, next week. RIGHT NOW how do you feel? If you feel bad, do something. Don’t think about “oh god I’m gonna be depressed forever, I have to bear this shit for years”. Either do something productive or something that will get you out of your head. Only worry about changing your current state. At the same time, you have to be ok with feeling shitty. Just don’t wallow in it. Be focused on something, anyt…
/r/askTRP05/05/20 05:30 AM
1

. I don’t want to suffer. Tough titties my man, life's hard and you have to learn to be ok with suffering to get the most out of it.
/r/askTRP03/05/20 11:22 AM
1

Yeah, I felt the same. But fuck that, if all I wanted women for was a wet hole, why would it be worth the pursuit at all? I like connecting with em. I got fucked up by both my break ups, but now I know. I still want to have that connection with women, but I will never think ONE WOMAN is the key to my fulfillment in that area. I never invest more than I'm willing to lose, then if they leave there's no heartbreak, it's all good. You can enjoy things without relying on them.
/r/askTRP03/05/20 11:20 AM
1

Insomnia was a major problem for me. I was always late to work and tired. At my old job, a showed me that I had clocked in late for almost every morning shift for the last year, it was a final warning before termination. So I forced myself to wake up at 6 am every day for 30 days. The first two weeks were miserable, because I still couldn't get to sleep at night. By the end of the month, I was easily falling asleep between 10 and 11 every night. This might've been the single best thing I ever di…
/r/askTRP01/05/20 06:56 AM
3

Yep my ex and a former fwb were like this. Both hated their dads. Both don't believe that LTRs can work long term and both don't want a family. Sample size of 2, but I wouldn't consider an LTR with a girl like that again probably. If you don't do that shit to her she'll find someone else that will. I learned to love tying her up, talkin shit, spitting on her, all that. Took me a while to get into, but it's a fun experience.
/r/askTRP05/04/20 08:17 PM
1

HEY FUCKNUT. I know a 32 year old that died from the rona. Family friend is in the ICU. Friend of a friend is a nurse in NY and I saw a text thread with nightmare-inducing stories. Stay at home. Fine maybe there is propaganda that's allowing certain agendas to benefit from the crisis, I guess that's possible. BUT THIS SHIT IS REAL. Not the media, not governments, PEOPLE ARE OUT HERE GETTIN FUCKED UP. It seems like you're more delusional than selfish here, so I guess that's the lesser evil. EVERY…
/r/askTRP05/04/20 08:56 AM
1

Uhh...your life fell apart. Who would look down on someone for having mental breakdowns in that situation? You're projecting your insecurities onto this dude. I've done the same. He's not looking down on you. Also friends tend to focus more on your current behavior than past behavior. Just stay solid from here on out as much as possible and you'll earn respect, from yourself and from others.
/r/askTRP05/04/20 08:50 AM
5

I just got dumped, my ex's feelings were the same as yours, allegedly. I'm 28 she's 23, same shit you're saying. Everything's great and she cares about me and wants the best but didn't wanna be settling down yet. She broke it off after 3.5 years. She did it in the most considerate possible way. And guess what? It still fuckin sucked and I was crushed. There's no way around it, there's no nice way to do it beyond common sense. You're gonna crush her for sure, she'll have panic attacks, you'll fee…
/r/askTRP05/04/20 08:41 AM
16

Tie. ​ Meditations - Marcus Aurelius Man's Search for Meaning - Frankl
/r/askTRP05/04/20 08:11 AM
1

Managing your mood is a skill worth developing. I like to lay out on a hammock in the sun with a book or some shit. Listen to smooth music, maybe smoke, whatever. Just be able to sit somewhere with nothing going on and be at peace. We all do the basics. Eat right, lift, read, hustle, maybe meditate, blah blah blah. You can't neglect the ability to just chill, it's important. Life has downtime built in. Embrace it. Obviously you've got the basics covered. Now can you find a way to actually enjoy …
/r/askTRP04/04/20 08:30 AM
1

Everybody is smarter than you in some domain. Everybody has handled a situation with more character than you would've in that same situation. You have no idea what people have been through, you don't know what information they've been exposed to. Everybody is just doing their best to get through life with the resources they have available. If you don't enjoy being around them or disagree with their way of handling shit, just don't be around them. ​ Rule of thumb: If everyone is a problem to you,…
/r/askTRP04/04/20 08:21 AM
1

What's the point of serious relationships? Bro, relationships are the most important thing in life. Not just romantic, but all your relationships. The key is to build your life so that you don't depend on specific people to be happy. You should be happy on your own by pursuing your goals and having a social life that leads to more/better relationships. A deep connection with a woman is probably up there with the most fulfilling things in life. The problem is you can't depend on ONE girl for that…
/r/askTRP04/04/20 08:12 AM
2

Stand up straight, not straightened. It's from Marcus Aurelius. Basically means be solid and act the SAME no matter how the external's change. ​ the full quote: How to act: Never under compulsion, out of selfishness, without forethought with misgivings. Don’t gussy up your thoughts. No surplus words or unnecessary actions. Let the spirit in you represent a man, an adult, a citizen, a Roman, a ruler. Taking up his post like a soldier and patiently awaiting his recall from life. Needing no oath or…
/r/askTRP04/04/20 08:04 AM
5

I'm not an RP expert, but the point here is to be strong, independent, and understand that you can't expect undying loyalty from women because of human nature. It's making women human, nothing more or less. She's someone you probably like to hang out with and she puts your dick in her mouth. YES, say happy bday for fucks sake.
/r/askTRP04/04/20 07:58 AM
3

Couple things: Your frontal lobe isn't fully functional, emotion/impulse will probably beat reason for the next few years. Learn, but accept that you're young. The worst advice I got from family, friends, therapists, was basically to get in touch with my feminine side. So I'd be super open with all my emotional issues and I thought it was a virtue to show weakness. Since then, I noticed that my friends who seemed to have their shit together were feeling the same shitty things I was feeling, but …
/r/askTRP04/04/20 07:55 AM
1

If you're not ashamed of your past you're not thinking hard enough. That's the thing about experience, you don't learn the lesson until you go through the fuck up. Don't beat yourself up, we all do this. But also don't be easy on yourself if you continue to do the shit you hate about your past self.
/r/askTRP04/04/20 07:47 AM
2

Yes, but I think someone that maxes their genetic potential negates much of the difficulty. Think of your co workers. The ones that are in shape and well-groomed look pretty decent, even if their face is busted. Compare that person to the lazy fat fuck who can't dress or get a decent haircut but has an attractive face. A lot of this shit is how you carry yourself.
/r/askTRP04/04/20 07:45 AM
2

Yep, been through this twice. Both times I fucked someone "hotter" a couple weeks after the break up. Still had my ex on that pedestal for months. Probably took 6 months ish to stop feeling like that for my first ex, and I'm 4 months post break up with the second ex. I still have a "hotter" fwb, but it just doesn't come close to how attracted I am to my ex. ​ It'll last how long it lasts. All I can say is accept that it's gonna fuck with your head for a while and move on. Quarantine makes it a l…
/r/askTRP04/04/20 07:39 AM
3

Every morning and night I read either Epictetus or Meditations as part of my daily journaling practice. I've been trying to reconcile how I feel about relationships with Stoicism and haven't been able to. This response tied things together for me. Hence the gold. Thanks man, this is exactly the perspective shift I've been looking for. You should instead, approach a relationship with the mindset that it is a variable and therefore cannot be a goal. Well put. Jesus.
/r/seduction22/03/20 05:17 AM
5

I know I wasn't clear on this. I'm not saying I think I lost the love of my life, my one and only person/soulmate. I know for sure that I can and will feel the same depth of connection with another woman at some point, possibly multiple women. I'm good with that. My issue is the time between breaking up with my ex and finding the next person I feel this way about is just not...happy. The idea is to detach from that outcome and learn to be happy without that connection, and that's where I'm strug…
/r/seduction22/03/20 04:49 AM
2

This is a great response. thanks. She wasn't the person you had in your mind. That's who you miss, your fantasy projection of her. Absolutely, my issue is not getting over HER exactly, it's being happy without that sort of connection. I wish it was her, but if it wasn't right then it wasn't right. I know I can feel the same way about someone else. ​ True happiness is pursuit of a goal, not it's achievement. Why does it feel like this doesn't apply to relationships? It just seems deeper than that…
/r/seduction22/03/20 04:27 AM
2

How was the adjustment to being single after so long together? Were you happy in the relationship?
/r/seduction22/03/20 04:12 AM
3

This may be naive, but my lifestyle has been great for a while. I do have some internal issues that I need to work on and only became aware of them through the break up. But I live a great life, there's nothing to turn around ya know? I lift weights, rock climb, do jiu jitsu, and hike. I do 1-2 of those activities every day (now it's just lifting at home and hiking with the whole corona thing). I have my solid group of ~8 friends that I see all the time. We do cool shit together, we have shared …
/r/seduction22/03/20 04:11 AM
6

I try to take that perspective as well. That relationship and following break up taught me a lot about relationships and coping with difficulty. It revealed weaknesses that I can work on, things that will make me a better partner in the long run. In one sense, losing this relationship brought me closer to the goal of being a great husband and father eventually.
/r/seduction22/03/20 03:53 AM
7

I'm not sure about how much of this is societal influence. I'm not saying that it isn't, but the feeling of connection/fulfillment I got from just sitting next to her on the couch in silence seemed a little deeper than that, a bit more natural or even spiritual I guess. I had another 3 year relationship before this one, and I didn't feel that same fulfillment. I just don't buy that it's a fantasy, I've never felt anything more real than that connection.
/r/seduction22/03/20 03:47 AM
28

This was helpful, thank you.
/r/seduction22/03/20 03:44 AM
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