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obiwanfatnobi Archive

View 0 posts and 76 comments by obiwanfatnobi on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

Hire a lawyer!!!! If you have a lawyer STOP talking about settlements with her its counter productive. Have it handled between the lawyers. Who cares if she hates you she is going to hate you anyway when you move on, even if she was/is the driving force behind the divorce. Look out for you and the kids!
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 08:15 PM
3

If you want to save the marriage tell her you know she is still in contact. Tell her to make a decision marriage counseling cut contact cancel trip or hash out the divorce. I would HIGHLY recommend you just divorce her. She won't ever get over your cheating and is hell bent on revenge. Whatever bond you two shared albeit tenuous is broken and that is done and dusted.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 09:14 PM
2

I have been on this sub and the others a long time plus dealing with my own bullshit. You start to see patterns and the truth behind situations and what usually happens most times. The only thing that ever works it seems is just ignoring them and moving on. If they wanted to chase they will and if they don't no amount of pick me dance or love bombing will work anyway. Plus from experience once you spend some time with other women who don't hate you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 04:25 PM
2

Emotionally detach and move on. She is a cheater you have to see that by now.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 03:49 PM
2

She did not waste any time. Communication goes both ways if she wanted to fix it she wouldnt have went on tinder. She was not doing to retaliate about some EA she didnt know about. Just move on its not meant to be this difficult.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 11:11 PM
1

You agree to the modification with the understanding she will not adhere to it and go back for full custody within six months. Her agreeing saves him money he can use down the road when she abandons the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 08:40 PM
6

Your whole thought process is bananas I almost wonder if its rage bait.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 04:55 PM
3

I would have literally just responded "lol".
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 05:47 PM
7

Say no next time.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 03:29 PM
4

She is a cheater why all the handwringing. Why should you protect her image tell your family she is the one who decided to start dating before ending the marriage. Just grey rock her and push for the divorce quite honestly that is probably YOUR only chance at bringing her back.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 05:02 PM
2

Thankfully I don't think he has kids he just mentions dogs. Just cut her out of your life man if she uses the dogs to mentally and emotionally torture you just get a new dog. Yes I know the bond you may have with the dogs is XYZ but if she is using them as a weapon just walk away.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 03:05 PM
5

She should not be not be recording every diaper change. So she has a phone FULL of nude videos of your young child. Seems excessive to the point of being actionable.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 11:48 PM
12

Find a lawyer and start planning an exit strategy who knows how she will react to you finding out.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 07:37 PM
1

Cowlitz county has hours and hours of family zoom videos all over youtube. Pretty accurate for how things go.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 07:50 PM
4

Hidden cameras personal recorder you may get lucky and she does something stupid.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 08:50 PM
11

She is fronting. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 04:00 PM
1

No matter what path you take: Go to the gym. Fix your diet. Get a physical Start therapy. Understand its not anyones job to make you happy. What you are going through is something a LOT of men go through. When any of my buddies brings up similar situations I also give them the above advice. I also tell them to start paying attention to see if the spouse is cheating. I know what you are going to say. She's not like that, she does not have the time, she does not have the opportunity. Guess what pe…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 12:49 AM
3

Set up your phone to record incoming calls. You can do it via apps both with IOS/Android. Early on people screw up and make threats verbally thinking its safer than text. FYI legality of this depends on your state.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 08:56 AM
3

Hire a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 07:52 PM
11

"rough patch 3 years ago and he hasn't gotten over it completely" Did this rough patch involve a third party? That is the only way this makes sense or something else that destroyed trust occurred. Not accusing you of anything just seems like an odd request and the only plausible reason I can think of is he does not trust you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 02:10 AM
2

Damn and the sixers got blown out. The hits just keep coming. All joking aside just do one day at a time. Yeah its dumb advice yeah you have had enough therapy speak for five lifetimes. Whats the alternative? You may be in a tough spot with your kids now but they will need you growing up.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 05:55 AM
3

Just assume you will always be dealing with the worst version of her from now on. You are going to have a hundred of those moments when you realize you should have left long ago and you were tied to a selfish POS. Just focus on the kids and make sure her spiral into finding herself does not threaten their emotional or physical wellbeing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 09:31 PM
1

She is most likely only entitled to half of the marital length of the pension. if you have worked at that job for 8 years and married for that time she is only entitled to the % of the 8 years and 50% of that. It can get complicated. If you worked or 25 years 8 of which were during the marriage she may be entitled to half of 33% of the value. The loan from your parents if it was indeed a loan is marital debt she is responsible for 50% of it. Make her sell the house and you each go your own way.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 07:55 PM
1

Don't wait to do shit go hire a lawyer. Now. I saw in an older post you have only been married for 8 years? How long have you worked at your job? What state are you in? What she thinks she is entitled to and what her lawyers best case scenario may be two separate things. Get A Lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 07:50 PM
1

How long were you married vs how many years do you have in at your job. What does your lawyer say?
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 07:47 PM
5

Love is a choice she is going to end up destroying your mental health over the long run. She does not want you she just wants the emotional support you gave her. Just go NC and push fwd with the divorce a year from now you will feel better.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 03:59 PM
19

You are getting 50/50 and she makes more. She does not want to have to pay you child support. I would push fwd you guys can always date after. I have a feeling this is just a manipulation.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 02:38 AM
2

No kids? No house to divvy up? She obviously wants to see other people and has tried everything to get you to make the first move towards separation. She had finally had enough and just tells you and retreats. Your wife is no longer your wife you just have not come to terms with it yet. What do you get out of the relationship? Seriously sit down and write it all out.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 04:44 PM
2

The kids are the kids. She obviously does not care enough about their emotional wellbeing or them growing up in a broken home. When one spouse is selfish and pulls this you are always going to end up with a broken home situation. The best thing you can do is move on and be the best dad you can be. That means not letting her string you along till she see's if the other guy will work out. Taking the initiative will end up saving your emotional wellbeing.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 03:14 AM
2

Just emotionally detach and write her off. You are going to end up finding out more info down the line and the monkey branching was really cheating. It usually almost always is anyway. You know you can never trust her again so why even try.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 03:10 AM
1

Hire a lawyer. Arizona is a community property state you should discuss with a lawyer what you are entitled. to. If she owns a 50% stake in a business unless you have an ironclad prenup you may entitled to a portion of that which could be leverage.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 02:33 AM
4

Half her retirement is likely yours. Just divorce her and move on. It sounds like this is where you are at. Will pray for you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 02:06 PM
7

This is an insane idea and you will regret it. Hire a lawyer of your own. If you can't afford it open one of those 18 month INT free credit cards and put the retainer on it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 11:20 PM
6

The closer you get to her having to deal with real consequences the crazier it will get. Only one kid makes it somewhat easier even though they are so young.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 11:26 PM
3

Just push things forward and let her go. I don't know how many kids you have but hire a lawyer and start the process. If you let this linger she will just end up destroying your mental health rewriting history. She cheated. You caught her. Game over.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 11:12 PM
15

Its the same reason those GSV or gastric bypass surgeries exponentially increase your chance to divorce. You never really know how much of a trashbag someone is until they get the opportunity to act like one.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 11:04 PM
3

Arizona civil cases usually always have some sort of mediation prior to trial and I am sure family court is no different. I know one thing and thats usually one side learns in mediation they are not going to get what they want. If your spouse thinks she is entitled to 50% of your salary forever she is not going to be happy. Does she work at all?
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 04:10 AM
6

Hire a lawyer. Does she not work at all? Arizona spousal support is not cut and dry and you should NOT go through mediation without an attorney telling you what the ins and outs could be.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 03:46 AM
2

Your timidity is going to rewarded with an end result that will leave you resentful and angry for years to come. Have your lawyer check to see if she indeed filed for divorce. If she hasn't then have your lawyer file now and start the process. Stupidity on her part now can be dealt with but only if you are aggressive enough to protect your rights.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 09:44 PM
3

You set the boundaries you feel comfortable with and stop caring what other people think. You are both present for your children and have equal custody nowhere does it say you have to be best friends. This is not some rom com where you are going to go on vacations together.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 02:42 PM
2

Get a consultation and hire a lawyer do not let he know you are doing this. You will be able to strategize with him/her. We have no idea how many kids you have or their ages. We have no idea what kind of support system you have locally. Does she handle all the childcare while you work? If you had to split 50/50 custody would you be able to handle watching the kids on your time. If the kids are going to be in school full time it is doubtful she would not be forced to work or be imputed. You need …
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 06:55 PM
3

Hire a lawyer. This is a volatile situation you need to protect yourself from her absconding with the kids out of state. Do not tell her you are going to file. See a lawyer and find out what your options are.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 06:49 PM
6

File and keep it moving. I remember one of your other posts no better time to divorce than when your flat ass broke. You need to worry about yourself and your daughter. You need to figure out what custody is going to look like. If you have decent credit just open an INT free card and get a consult and start the process
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 04:12 AM
2

"My wife joined" Implication seems to be she joined after they were married got together. He's catholic so basically agnostic(Im catholic Im allowed to make this joke).
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 06:42 PM
6

Your wife is a cheater I would do her any favors. She has done none for you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 03:11 AM
2

Maybe I’m not processing this properly but how is filing for temp order 50/50 joint decision and splitting assets gong scorched earth. Sure filing when she wanted to do mediation might piss her off. A judge won’t look at it as unhinged. I f he asked for sole decision and full custody that would be unhinged
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 04:10 AM
4

lol who cares about that sht its meaningless. You should care about whats going to end up the final divorce decree because thats going to be your life till the kids turn 18. Does she work? Are all the kids fulltime school age yet Kinder and older?
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 06:22 PM
9

What is you doing. Get a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 05:40 PM
4

No better time to get divorced then when your broke. lol
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 07:50 PM
2

I of course checked out your post history. First do you want to save this marriage you have years of posts complaining about a lack of intimacy or any real interest from her towards you. You also seem to struggle with depression. Have you had any therapy yet? Have you looked into getting on any SSRI's? Obviously the marriage has not been benefiting you or your mental health. You are probably feeling alone from codependency and abandonment issues since you have no family left on your side. Get so…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 07:28 PM
4

How long have you been married? Do you have children together? What state are you in? All great questions that a lawyer will ask you during intake. Hire a lawyer. Consult with a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 11:09 PM
12

When someone tells you they don't want you listen to them. I could go on and on with platitudes and other BS but at the end of the day she has told you multiple times you can't give her what she needs. Who the hell knows what that is. She probably does not even know. I would never trust anyone like this ever again. Imagine you had kids with this woman?
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 09:47 PM
2

I know this feels impossible but once you make the final decision and have enough space you will detach. You won't feel how you feel now in 6 months or a year+. You just won't and that is a fact. She made her decision all you can do is put one foot in front of the other.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 11:04 PM
3

Because she didn’t. She was just going to get in the best shape and live her best life till you pulled the cord or she found someone to leave for. Some people are just shitty humans and you don’t realize it till they no longer have a use for you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 04:04 PM
5

Until they get in another LTR and they spend their nights molding on a couch endlessly doomscrolling gaining all that weight back. People are who they are and they always return to the mean.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 03:57 PM
2

Just let go you will feel better. She is not worth it man. Once you rip off the bandaid you will be angry you had not done it sooner. She is a cheater. I would argue a serial cheater.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 05:11 PM
3

Hire a lawyer and move back in. You should have never left your house. Hire A Lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 03:53 PM
1

Somethings missing here. I think once you get to the bottom of it you are going to find out she is using or she is abusing alcohol. People usually. don't spiral this bad out of nowhere. Just stay as far away from her as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 05:47 AM
7

You hire a lawyer and let them handle it. Tons of people are found in default every day and thats how you end the cycle.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 09:15 PM
2

Only a handful of states require support past 18 with college attendance. Most states do not require this. A couple of others may require help to pay for college.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 09:13 PM
6

Hire a lawyer Stop engaging with her Do not negotiate with her If she was being reasonable sure maybe you guys could handle this yourselves. She is not. She is delusional and making threats. Start recording these conversations when she makes threats. Obviously do it so she can not see.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 02:39 PM
5

You owe it to your kid to inform them of her inability to stop her behavior. You are enabling her and potentially putting your child in danger. At some point she is going to have your child 50% of the time unsupervised. When/if god forbid something happens you will blame yourself. Stop enabling her and get her the help she needs.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 04:20 PM
2

This is a way. Find a place that will give you a w2. Don't tell your wife just do it. The stress of the situation is not allowing you to continue in your own business. Why would you get less than 50/50 your state should be somewhat 50/50 conducive as long as you dont get status quo fucked but that means you just have to be diligent.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 06:43 AM
3

The question is did the amount increase/decrease or stay the same since you asked her about him. If it stayed the same or increased I would take that as a sign she does not really care anymore. The fact that she brought up separation/divorce is probably the biggest tell. Just keep putting the work in on yourself and deal with it when you get back. The gaslighting will be the worst of it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 04:56 PM
2

If you think the divorce and marriage sub is bad spend five minutes in the adultery subs and read some of the filth there. These are people’s husbands and wives giddily planning their raid and game planning how to hide it or gaslight their spouses.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 03:36 AM
1

You say you can not dance and what I hear is that perhaps that is the perfect place to start. I am SURE if I did "your city/state" searches on Meetup and Facebook I would find MULTIPLE groups that welcome solo beginners. Will it be uncomfortable for you? Yes it will but that sounds like its exactly what you need. Trust me force yourself out there and you will feel better in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 07:30 PM
1

You are legit projecting and rewriting his history to fit your narrative. He is lamenting his wife put him in a terrible situation with her "repeated" cheating. He didn't deserve this. No one deserves this. He does not have a "solid respectable marriage" because his wife is a cheating trashbag.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 05:47 PM
1

Holy victim blaming. He is talking about divorce because she is a serial cheater. I can’t remember but I think this wasn’t the first time from his posts or comments. He is venting here how cheaters get rewarded. Stop projecting your own insecurities onto other people and making up lore.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 04:12 PM
1

Ask your lawyer if a postnuptial is an option in your state. I remember your other post and how she posted on twin flames subreddits. That sht is a cult and tells me your wife has mental issues. If you can get her to sign a postnuptial that could protect your assets and perhaps set spousal support on the lower end. Sadly CS c an not be dealt with in a postnupt and depending on your state neither can custody. Play the long game because she will 100% cheat again if she is knee deep in that twin fl…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 04:09 PM
2

It probably has more to do with the fact she thinks she can steamroll you than her being some financial wiz who can hide assets. Your lawyer in discovery can ask for a litany of documents going back a considerable amount of time. Credit card statements Bank statements Credit report to show all cards she has All retirement accounts Any stock vesting programs she is set up with CT is not a community property state. It is an equitable distribution state. You could end up with 50/50 of all assets or…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 12:42 AM
1

She for whatever reason seems hellbent on making terrible decisions. Tell your lawyer to make sure her focus is on figuring out a detail accounting of her finances. Many states have very harsh rules governing hidden assets.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 12:31 AM
2

She is doing this because she believes with every fiber of her being that you do not deserve anything from her. Everything she did or accomplished she did so in-spite of you not because of you. Any help or support you provided. Meaningless to her. Be very careful I do not say this in jest. If she starts arguments with you keep in mind she may be doing it for a reason. Set your phone to record and put it in your pocket or face down. Any discovery she is asking for make sure your lawyer asks the s…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 04:34 PM
1

She would be very very very very foolish to do that. In some states any assets you try and hide can be forfeited to the other spouse by a judge. Not split literally forfeited to them 100%. During mediation I would point blank ask about stock options and even use the acronym of the program at her company. If she lies to the mediator also it could have far reaching consequences. I would also ask her how much money she has given(if any) to her parents over the last 36 months. That was not her money…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 09:42 PM
1

I still think you need top retain a lawyer because she is hiding the full scope of her wealth from you. She probably moved money to her parents over the last few years She for SURE has stock-options You can't get a fair settlement unless you get a full scope of both your holdings. She sadly does not believe you are entitled to what she has earned so in her mind she is being more than fair only showing you a fraction of her true net worth. A lawyer may be required to guarantee you get full disclo…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 09:34 PM
7

Resentment. The killer of many a marriages. Years of built up resentment for not helping with the kids either from a logistics standpoint or even helping out around the house. You will find scores of posts in this subreddit or in AITA subs about wives who are at their breaking point. The good news is your kids they are young enough still where you can show her by doing more. The bad news is she may be so far gone that she does not view your increased help as anything other than a ploy. I would s…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 08:49 PM
3

She has shut you out for EIGHT years. Thats half your marriage. You are correct for trying to figure this out now because your wife may have just ended up blindsiding you one day with divorce request. Has she given any reason I mean eight years is a considerable amount of time.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 08:35 PM
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