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occoptionplaya Archive

View 2 posts and 238 comments by occoptionplaya on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Good point, I agree.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 01:45 AM
7

There is no price for freedom. Getting away from the cancer is key!!!
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 12:15 AM
14

Do not marry her. It won't end well. Just promise to be together and be faithful to each other without all the legal shit and church nonsense. There's no reason to be married in the 21st century.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 04:45 PM
2

Don't leave, run. There's always two sides to a story, but life is way too short to be miserable like this. Start over, don't get married again, just work on you and everything will work out. You may also want to look into meditation, massage and spiritual work to help you with the anger.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 04:15 PM
0

This is a very good comment and all you should consider. You're also likely to sleep with a fertile 20 something and you're done. It's not worth the risk. My vasectomy had me uncomfortable for 3 weeks, which I gather is on the long side, but I'm so happy since. I'd do it again in a heartbeat
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 01:31 PM
1

Thanks for sharing this. Interesting.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 03:51 AM
1

I got it about a year ago and it's been great. I 100% don't want kids and have been open with women I've dated since. They love it too, because it's one less thing to worry about. I wish I got my vasectomy sooner, other than that I have no regrets.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 03:34 AM
1

I tend to agree. However, if he vetted better he would likely have better understood her underlying motives and her true persona, so I think it's still a valid comment.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 08:43 PM
2

Thanks, but fortunately I'm going to be free soon. I know how to make money, I'll make it back. Less stress and my freedom is priceless 💪
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 12:12 PM
2

Look on the bright side, you're free. Make better choices next time. I'm talking to myself here too. I also got taken to the cleaners.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 12:11 PM
7

250k here and still going 😭
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 03:17 AM
7

My kids are 8 and 4. I like to have at least 1 playdate and one family event on my weekends. I'm also teaching them Portuguese, which is challenging but will be worth it. Lastly, I always remind them that I'm here for them and will never leave them. My ex has abandonment issues and I don't want those passed to my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 10:20 AM
1

This book was excellent, I highly recommend
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 10:47 AM
1

Just remember that the decision to get divorced was made for a reason. I agree, a cheater can never be trusted. She will do it again. You deserve better and will find better. Keep your head up.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 10:23 AM
1

If you do the same thing, you'll get what you always had. You likely won't be able to work things out with your STBXW. You cheated, and I personally think it's hard to come back. I agree with a prior post about divorce and restart your life. It will hurt, but you will have a new chance at happiness. From everything ive seen, learned and read, it doesn't really work when you've filed for divorce and try to "work things out." Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 02:36 AM
1

Great book!
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 12:32 AM
1

Awesome recommendations.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 12:32 AM
3

Go read No More Mr Nice Guy and then follow that with "Dating essentials for men." Thank me later. Best of luck!
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 06:31 PM
4

We are here for you brother. I'm separated almost 2 years and still have ups and downs. More ups than downs, but still. Time certainly helps, as will new hobbies and routines. Focus on becoming the absolute best version of yourself for you and for your son. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 07:07 PM
2

Lol, ignore this comment. You are 100% anonymous.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 02:59 AM
2

Amazing comment and feedback. Ive read the first two recommended books and can't recommend them enough. Adding Rational Male to my list.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 12:57 AM
5

Thanks for the reminder
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 12:45 AM
1

Awesome! Good for you man. Abundance mindset. Next!!!
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 11:28 AM
1

This is the perfect mentality for success! Abundance, not lack. Do not take anything personally. If the date is bad, smile. If you approach and get rejected, smile. There's a million other fish out there. Have fun!
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 11:25 AM
5

It's been almost 2 years since I filed. I had a casual relationship for about 10 months and single since then. Not really interested in anything serious, just companionship and sex. Maybe one day a LTR.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 04:50 PM
1

💯 💯 💯
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 04:10 AM
1

I 100% relate to this comment. My new life is looking BRIGHT.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 08:33 PM
9

I'm sorry man, I've been there. Most likely you're heading towards a nasty divorce. Mine cost me $200k and counting. Reach out anytime.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:53 PM
4

Go! Celebrate yourself and your new life. Maybe you'll meet some people, maybe you won't, at least you're away and getting some nice weather and will be relaxing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 06:22 PM
3

Great comment. When my male friends say, "let me ask the boss..." I cringe. F that, I'm the boss. No one is going to tell me what I can and cannot do.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 12:13 AM
3

You dodged a bullet. Be careful moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 11:55 PM
2

God bless 🇺🇸
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 11:45 PM
4

Shit man, why are you delaying. Nothing is going to change, get it over with and move out or make her move out. Time to start your new life. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Add insult to injury, she didn't apologize for her reckless actions. Fuck this bitch, you'll do way better.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 08:17 PM
9

I have a married woman texting me every few days begging me to fuck her. It's a crazy world out there fellas.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 03:38 AM
18

It's really sad, but this is exactly what happened. The initial filing is the truth, don't go backwards. Live your best life and don't look back. If you take her back, you're in for a world of hurt and eventually a divorce again down the line.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 05:38 PM
5

Why would anyone down vote this comment. You are accurate. Focus on the positive, don't do depression, move on. There's 10 million single available women right around the corner, focus on abundance not scarcity.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 06:28 AM
1

Awesome share! Keep going
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 02:09 AM
7

Do not do it. You divorced for a very good reason, remember that. Also remember that people don't change. You'll likely find out that your attempt #2 is a repeat of all the bullshit that was in marriage #1. Fuck her, hang out with her, but do not marry her. There's a gazillion other available women out there, we live in an abundant world.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 09:26 PM
6

Thanks for sharing this. I'm in a very similar situation. It truly is an unfair system and situation. Warn everyone, I am doing the same. Even with a prenuptial, it's still very risky. At the end of the day, to me it doesn't really matter how much I wasted, because I have my freedom back and I can be a dad however I choose to. There is no price on freedom and not being told what to do and how to act as a dad, husband and human. Cheers!
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 03:53 PM
14

OP, it's time to leave this group. This is a support group. If you don't need support or don't want to offer support, leave. Yes, men here sack up and move on, at their own pace. You realize a lot of divorces are more complicated than yours, right? 15k? LOL. I'm over 200k and still fighting. You don't understand the real struggle some men in here are facing. Compassion and empathy are a real thing, not sure you have it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 06:29 PM
3

This is very true. This will help you forget. When I was dating a woman for a few months, there was no loneliness or thoughts like you suggest. Now that I'm single again, the negative thoughts creep in periodically.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 03:40 PM
7

I was accused of 90% of the shit you listed. So sad, its likely in her attorney's playbook. Good luck man.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 06:04 AM
7

2 years separated, almost divorced. I find the time I have with my daughter, although it's only 30%, is MUCH better and more meaningful than when I lived in the toxic home environment with my ex. I agree with the post above, make the time amazing and put in a lot of effort and that is what will count for your kids. They will be fine if you show up for them during your custody time. You will miss them, but in the time you're not with them work on yourself so you can become a solid man and an epic…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 07:56 PM
4

I agree with OP. Downvote me all you want. What he's trying to say is know your capabilities before you start benching and squatting something that will hurt you. Get active, but in a healthy way. We should recommend men start a gym routine that works for them, that could mean walking on the treadmill, swimming or stretching. Cheers!
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 03:32 PM
2

Do NOT take her back. You'll find someone better who really deserves you. You were betrayed and you'll be betrayed again.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 03:58 PM
3

In NJ, it's impossible to get reimbursed legal fees, even if your ex is doing illegal shit. These pussy ass judges just say : "this is reserved to the end of the divorce trial." Divorce court, judges, and attorneys are the fucking biggest joke and scheme to bankrupt Americans. Good luck to anyone getting divorced that doesn't mediate very quickly. You're gonna go bankrupt.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 01:51 AM
6

100%. Same shit happened to me and she wants the house. HAHA. Never, not after how I was treated. I'm sorry men, but if you give it all away on a silver platter after getting FUCKED, thats on you and no one else. Kick her out.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/23 12:00 PM
5

Damn, that sucks. In a similar boat here. The system is God awful.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 03:24 PM
1

Yeah I figured. I will fight the good fight. Really hoping someone in this community has better news for me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 02:56 AM
1

Hello there twin. Divorced life is way better.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 12:48 AM
2

Be happy your kids are getting toys. Stay present for your kids and love them. The boyfriend will never replace you. Just keep showing up.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 10:19 AM
1

I seriously think about firing my THIRD fucking lawyer every day and going pro se. I can't though because of stories like this. They are all pigs, the lawyers and the judges and they work the system hard to bankrupt you. If you're not playing their game and going bankrupt, they'll fuck you because you're not playing the game. Check out the short movie: "Divorce Corp." Absolutely dishonest, corrupt and manipulative system. Get a lawyer and just pay the price, otherwise you're done.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 03:34 AM
1

Be careful with a false DV. This country protects women and screws men. Be careful.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 03:51 AM
1

I will partner up. I personally see no point in marriage if one doesn't want children. I already have two and don't want any more.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 02:47 PM
1

Congratulations man! You bring a lot of hope to me and this community. Nice work.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/23 02:22 PM
1

Congrats! You put in the effort and now you reap the rewards. Curious, are you married or just partners? I see zero reason to marry ever again. Already have kids and don't want anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 06:25 PM
2

Doing okay, it's been a struggle and a high conflict divorce, BUT I go to sleep happy every night. I know that I'm living my best life and I no longer accept less than what I deserve. I deserve happiness, love and affection. I wasn't getting any of that in my marriage and that's no way to live. If you want any perspectives as you go through your journey, please reach out.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 03:33 PM
5

People don't change. You'll be filing in one year. Why not file now? I sat on my hands for 5 years and thought about divorce seriously every single of those 5 years. Ended up getting a divorce anyway. I wish I could go back and file in 2017.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 03:40 AM
1

It's in your head. This happened to me during my first two encounters. After a month of work, was back to normal. You need to get to the point where you realize you are worth it and deserve having sex. Also, MOJO helped me. It's a cool, inexpensive app that makes it fun to get back in touch with your body. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 11:48 AM
3

$160k and still going. Try to go through a small attorney, the firms really rape you. For context, my current attorney has billed me about 70k for the past 12 months of services. The large family law firm charged me $55k in 2 months. They are crooks and shady fuckers, be careful.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 03:42 PM
1

I agree with this comment. You have no guarantee that the judge's final orders will be more favorable to you. Imagine waiting another year, or two, and get just as fucked. That would be awful. It's a tough pill to swallow, but try to negotiate a little bit better terms for you and just be done with it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 07:43 AM
2

Filling out Interrogatories is bullshit. It costs thousands of dollars for your lawyers to review them and they do nothing for the case. It's a money suck.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 03:50 PM
2

Hey man, my divorce is still ongoing (19 months so far) and I've wasted over $150k in legal fees. It really hurts, but just remember that you're free now. You will become the absolute best version of yourself and you will have a great life. I agree with getting a side hustle and also consider appealing your results, because that outcome sounds unfair. I highly recommend reading No More Mr Nice Guy and The subtle art of not giving a fuck. Great books with great perspectives to consider for your n…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/23 03:47 PM
2

I can't imagine. She will have to reimburse you those fees though. It's a criminal act. Hang in there and good luck! Please post an update when it's resolved.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 02:27 PM
12

Since this all 100% illegal and the crime can be traced, you're going to be fine in the end. I would NEVER give up. Hire a lawyer that will fight until the end. As for financing the lawyer bills, borrow from friends or family with the promise that they'll get their money plus interest back. Make sure your bitch ex wife gets thrown in jail and DO NOT let her get away with this shit without penalty. You should get the proceeds from all houses due to what she tried to pull.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 11:06 AM
1

What a nice birthday letter to her. I'm currently taking pictures of all cards and mail I send my daughter. Waiting for the day to reconcile with her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 04:42 PM
5

Great awareness! This also happened to me. This post is hard to read because it's 100% my life. Won't ever let it happen again. Boundaries must be set and you need to put yourself first.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 01:25 PM
3

Date, but don't marry. Too great a risk for an accomplished man (or woman for that matter!).
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 11:47 AM
1

Well said! This hits home for me and I'm sure for mist guys here. Nice share.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 09:16 AM
1

Because you're not valued and respected. You're taken for granted. You're a doormat. Your sole purpose is to provide for your wife and the children, that's it. It's so interesting how you get unlimited sex after you get separated/divorced, but in marriage we are starved. I hope you find your answer.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 03:19 AM
7

Hahaha, yep. This hits home.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 10:51 PM
2

Every single day on this earth is a blessing. Please do not take your life, your children need you. Even if you see them less, you'll still see them. Can you imagine what will happen to them if and when they find out their daddy took his life? Please stay strong and get help.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 01:55 AM
1

That's the million dollar question...
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 01:51 AM
1

They don't change man. I'm sorry for what you're going through. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Focus on your child and becoming the best version of yourself. Her loss.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 02:25 AM
1

Down 200k on legal fees alone. Likely going to pay her 300k assets. Going to take a few years to recover... maybe a decade. Worth it!
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 08:27 PM
1

If this wasn't posted as a brag, it would be more believable. If you're dumb enough to post this on here, it's either 100% fake or you're 100% going to get caught. Why brag to a bunch of people you don't know anyways?
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 02:32 AM
2

This is the best comment ever.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 02:28 AM
1

This is the best comment I've read here so far. Lawyers are EXPENSIVE. Mine costs $400 per hour. By the time you go through a lawyer, when it's all said and done you'll be at 10k or more in legal fees. I'd just pay her and be done. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 06:40 PM
0

Date them. Never marry them.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 03:27 PM
8

Absolutely not. You're divorced, you're no longer each other's significant other and you shouldn't do significant other type stuff. It can send mixed messages. My opinion is to just leave it alone. A divorced friend of mine just sent his ex wife of 17 years a birthday card and she hand delivered it back to him, without opening it. Space means space. It's over.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 03:02 AM
2

Welcome to the club. I'm a "narcissistic" person too. Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 11:07 PM
3

This guy gets it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 09:44 PM
1

Rip the bandaid off man, the sooner the better. It will never be the same. She cheated... TWICE. I would run to file, not walk. It gets better with time, I can promise you that. It was very hard the first few months of separation, but it's so worth it. Live your best life and one day you'll find someone that actually deserves you, not a cheating whore.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 01:25 PM
1

Fuck the hot ones, never marry them.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 12:33 PM
1

Lmao
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 03:53 AM
4

There's a great saying: Fuck the hot ones, marry the cute ones. After my experience with marriage and my divorce from hell, the new saying goes like this: "Fuck the hot ones and don't get married."
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 08:40 PM
1

Interesting perspective
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 03:40 PM
2

I think everyone on this sub right?
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 03:21 PM
2

LOL... Yes!!!
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 10:25 PM
1

200k and counting here. Such a broken system. It's a business, nothing else.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 04:55 PM
2

Great book. You can get it on audible as well.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 04:53 PM
5

Record all interactions around her, especially when you bring up the divorce talk. You're going to need it when she tells the cops you threatened her.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 12:57 PM
1

I hope round 2 works out for you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 03:16 AM
1

Because 50% of marriages fail and 80% of divorces are initiated by women. If he's coming in with nothing and she has nothing, who cares, no prenuptial needed. If he's coming in with a house, 2 cars, and a 200k brokerage account, he's a regard for not having a prenuptial in place. It's called protection for the unknown and likely to occur.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 03:16 AM
2

In my opinion, if you delete anything it means you're hiding something. Even if you aren't, that's how it will be portrayed. File first and record all encounters with her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 12:10 PM
2

Is there a way to get this at the top of the forum or to be part of the rules? Really well said and explained OP. This happened to me EXACTLY. False DV, booted out of the house, didn't see the kids for 90 days and still don't have any custody of my older child. I'm paying all the bills, ordered by the court because my previous lawyer was an idiot and I was misrepresented. It's an all out war, and parental alienation is the worst part of it. My ex also said it will be "amicable." Sadly, that was …
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 12:03 PM
16

Agree with this guy completely. Not wanting to sign a prenuptial agreement is a huge red flag in my opinion. If she trusts you and trusts you will stay together, why does she care? Stand your ground.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 03:04 AM
1

Correct 💯
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 05:10 AM
1

Hudson. ESP was a joke. They said "you should mediate or you're both going to go bankrupt." I said yes, let's mediate. X wife says, nah let's go bankrupt. You can't make this shit up.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 05:09 AM
2

Please read No More Mr Nice Guy. Read it twice. I'm confident you'll file before you finish the book.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 05:08 AM
1

Correct. This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 09:21 PM
1

Can still do all that stuff without being married. In my honest opinion, the only reason would be if you want kids and a family. If not, no point.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 09:21 PM
2

Wish I was Muslim
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 09:20 PM
1

You're a God damn genius
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 09:18 PM
3

Interesting perspective. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 12:14 PM
4

Nicely said. Thanks for your comment.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 12:03 PM
4

There's something called domestic partner benefits and another thing called a will. Those options are available to the unmarried and are 100% safer than marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 11:51 AM
2

Lol. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 11:48 AM
13

Nice! Good job teaching your kids. I will be teaching mine as well. It's another form of economic stimulation for courts, lawyers, and mental health "experts." So sad, but it's true.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 04:16 AM
1

How interesting
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 04:14 AM
3

Sorry man, same here. Hopefully this life lesson makes us wiser.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 04:08 AM
2

What's the benefit of "locking it down?"
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 04:07 AM
3

Yep, agreed
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 04:07 AM
1

NJ here. I filed May 2022, we are nowhere close. Mediation was two months ago but the other side canceled. I'll be divorced in 2024 at some point. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 04:06 AM
6

Fuck the hot ones... marry the cute ones. Correction, don't ever get married. Everyone in this sub should know that by now.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 03:11 AM
1

Trash can. Mine was probably worth $100 or so but I got greater satisfaction of throwing it out than selling it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 12:29 AM
1

250k a month is absolutely not enough when you're an entitled woman living in the USA. God Bless America 🇺🇸
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 04:27 PM
2

I wish I moved out of my house before she threw me out with a fake DV claim. Also wish I hid assets and liquidated a bunch of shit before filing. Lastly, I would have worn a camera or had a voice recorder on at all times to prevent her false claims of abuse / endangerment.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 04:19 PM
2

Haha, sorry you went through that but it's funny she got fucked in the end. My wife is brainwashed by her lawyer and I will be going to trial as well. She was promised sole custody, and 70% of my pay and assets. It's so sad that when people get so emotional and vengeful that their brain stops working.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 01:54 AM
3

I hate to say it, but take the 7/7 split. My ex said "I'm going to fight so you get no overnights" and she made it happen. The system is a fucking joke. The woman is always favored. Your ex is probably going to file a restraining order and claim you abused the kids and then you won't even have them. It's better to take 50/50 and move on. Fighting for an extra 2 days may ruin your financial life and mess with your custody of the kids. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 01:54 AM
1

Hide your assets first. Liquidate whatever you can and go on a spending spree and buy gifts for your blood family. When you're in a better place financially, dump this bitch. She may go nuclear and take you to the cleaners. The system allows for it. It's so sad, protect yourself. Get ready to pay short term alimony (maybe not since you're not even married a year). Then again, the system is 100% against the breadwinner.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 01:51 AM
1

Never ever get married. Just be in a committed relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 01:37 PM
4

I hope this is my story a few years from now. I'm currently at the one year mark and losing my older daughter. I will stay strong and have faith that time heals all. Thanks for your share and encouragement to all the guys here.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 11:11 AM
1

Be super careful because I sense a false DV claim coming. Happened to me. You have to continue paying ALL expenses, and she gets to stay in the house. God bless America 🇺🇸
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 03:25 AM
6

I'm going to read this to the judge in court. This excellent.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 01:43 PM
2

Fuck man. I am in your shoes when my shit is done. Such a crooked world we are in. Sorry. The best part is you're going to make it back 3x and in less time. You know how to invest and make money, I'm fairly certain she does not.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 02:16 AM
2

Fuck yeah!!!
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 02:12 AM
1

Fingers crossed for you
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 08:32 PM
5

Don't get married. And if you're dumb enough to take the plunge, we will see you in a few years.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 06:03 PM
4

Wow! You must live in a red state. Lucky you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:16 AM
1

It will take time, but you will realize it doesn't matter. I can't wait for my STBXW to start dating because that woman needs a life. Likely they will stop bothering you once they have a new partner, so that's fun too.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 10:32 AM
1

What a fucking idiot
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 02:39 AM
3

I will be that 2% that goes to trial...I'll never stop fighting.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 08:11 PM
31

I will fight to the end. I'd rather be bankrupt than let that bitch continue to win. I offered 50% of everything she's entitled to and she wants 80% and wants me to basically give her 75% of my salary for the next decade (we were only married 6.5 years). Some women are so stupid. And their lawyers don't help the situation. Set the boundary, stay strong. And of course... good luck!!!
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 01:23 AM
3

Amazing! Well said Captain!
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 01:57 PM
1

Get a recorder NOW and start recording everything. Next step is a false domestic violence complaint and you are thrown out of your house. It happened to me. Record every and all interactions with her, because she is desperate. What you said in front of your kids is nothing and will NOT make you lose custody, she's trying to rattle you and it seems like it's working. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 12:00 PM
5

RUN
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 02:10 PM
1

Run! You are so lucky you don't have kids...wowo
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 11:52 PM
1

Divorce. Don't stay married for the kids, it will screw them up. It's better for them to see you divorced and happy than married and miserable.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 03:58 PM
1

Women are bitches. Women going through a divorce are relentless cunts. Godspeed.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 03:32 AM
3

You apparently know what you will tolerate and what you won't. Set the boundary or you are DOOMED. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 01:34 AM
8

So sad.. it seems this happens all the time. It happened to me too, fortunately at year 7. File now. The longer you stay, the longer you pay alimony. Life is short, go find someone that values you and appreciates you. Also, read No More Mr. NICE Guy. You left your needs unanswered for years, and didn't set boundaries. Fix yourself before your next relationship or it will happen again. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 11:17 PM
3

This comment needs to be pinn3d at the top and upvoted one million times. Your actions and lack of actions helped you get to where you are today and had SOME part in the breakdown of the relationship and marriage. Definitely read NMMNG. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 11:25 AM
3

I was on the fence for a few years. I finally made the move and filed and moved on. It's been a Rollercoaster, but I sleep well at night. Better off alone than being in a loveless, sexless, no connection marriage. F that. Alimony and child support end eventually. A shit marriage where you are miserable and stick around is no way to spend life. We only have one life, why waste it?
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 04:50 AM
-1

PM me. I have a natural way that I believe will help you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 03:06 AM
1

Please remember this always. Never get married.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 05:32 PM
2

This 👆👆👆 💯💯
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 09:16 PM
5

Agreed. And that's why so many people are on their second and third marriages.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 05:54 PM
30

My perspective is that you need to fix yourself first. Grow yourself as a man and become the best version of you. If you don't 100% understand what led to the breakdown of your marriage and how you were at fault for at least part of it, the same shit is going to happen again. You have to set boundaries. Once you are the better you, there will be tons of women flocking your way.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 03:26 PM
6

100% correct. I know its hard to hear, but this is what happened and divorce is the only answer. I also allowed my boundaries to be destroyed and when I attempted to reinstate them, I was accused of abusing her, and my kids. Get yourself back, your marriage is over.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 01:44 PM
4

There's a great saying: "You fuck the hot ones and you marry the cute ones." Find yourself a woman who genuinely cares for you and she'll be your 10.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 08:56 PM
3

Join a men's group. I sent a message to all my cousins and aunts/uncles on FB and told them I'm getting divorced and that I'm fine and I don't want to talk about it. I received lots of love and support from the family in that message. No one has brought it up since, not once. Feels great.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 03:23 PM
1

Do not get married under any circumstances. Getting married in the 21st century is absolutely retarded and a massive financial risk. I wish more young men knew about this.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 08:04 AM
2

This needs more upvotes. What your family thinks and says is irrelevant. Only YOU know what is best for you, no one else. Love YOUR life, not anyone else's. Staying together for the kids will definitely fuck up your kids, sadly I'm sure of it. Good luck and we are here for you if you need support.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 05:19 AM
4

My hero. This is me in a few months. Working towards this.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 02:03 AM
6

20k! You're blessed. I'm at 150k and counting...
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 12:54 AM
1

Your first mistake was being okay with her cheating the second time. You should have filed for divorce then. Sorry man, it will get better. Leave this piece of shit ASAP and start a new life.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 01:58 AM
10

This is the only answer. Divorce now. If you wait or God forbid have a kid, it will be much worse.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 05:02 PM
3

RUN
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 04:56 PM
1

Not doing it sooner. Knowing what I know now, I'd have sold all my real estate, investments and blown my savings on myself. Now I have a shit ton of everything, but half is going to the ex wife. Sucks. Still feel happier being away from that toxicity, but it literally costs an arm and a leg if you're successful.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 02:12 AM
2

I wish I saw this 6 months ago...
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 09:14 PM
7

Extremely well said. Marriage is financial security for the weaker party. I'm currently getting taken to the cleaners after spending thousands defending myself from false claims of abuse, child protective services and dozens of calls to the police. Will never get married again. Will never combine assets again. Will never let a woman live in a house I own, they can visit, but never move in. I've learned the hard way. I also will be an advocate for young men and hope to steer many of the trap call…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 03:28 AM
2

Every single man on earth should see this. Buyer beware.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 04:27 PM
2

Nothing to correct. The state does that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 02:07 PM
6

Thankfully that's not the case in my state, but is more ammo for making the case against getting married.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 03:47 AM
17

Don't do it!!! Dont!!! You'll remember this sub and our advice a few years from now. Since you likely will NOT listen to us and take the plunge anyway: 1) Do not combine any bank accounts or assets, keep everything in your name only. 2) create a joint bank account where you equally contribute, or at least very similarly contribute every month. 3) do not let her become a stay at home mom. Never! Part time maybe, but full stay at home status you are basically hanging yourself. Good luck. Marriage …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/22 09:40 PM
1

Thank God you're not married, I'm jealous. Tell your mom you love her, but you're doing what you want, when YOU want, how YOU want. Don't rush into marriage or kids, especially for someone else. I got married for me, but was really pressured by my family, friends and society. F that. Kids was the same thing, I always wanted kids, but my wife really pushed me and my family always asked, when is the little baby coming. Ugh. Here I am now, divorced with two kids and going to be financially ruined f…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/22 02:00 PM
3

Excellent advice below 👇👇👇. I would have a camera running inside your home and have the gopro running at all times at your parents house. If you can't have video, at least audio. This can save you big time from false accusations. I also couldn't agree more about having someone with you at pickup and dropoff, AND record too. If there is ever a false accusation, just pull up the proof and destroy her. Eventually, your ex will see that she can't screw with you and she will stop. Also, document all …
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/22 02:51 PM
3

Fight until the end. She's your ex, she shouldn't get anything she's not legally entitled to. Women try so badly to take advantage of me, during the marriage and even after it's over. F that! Stay strong brother
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/22 02:28 PM
1

Name checks out
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 04:10 AM
2

Correct
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 10:16 PM
36

I'm very happy to see this comment here. Even if one day you decide to take the "plunge," at least now you can know what may happen. Once my divorce is final, I plan to coach young men on the dangers of marriage, sharing assets, and divorce. You can still have a wonderful life and wonderful relationships, without being "married."
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 08:01 PM
5

I know this a hard time, but you received a gift. The gift is you now know what kind of woman you were married to and you managed to get out alive. Congrats! Focus on you and become the best version of yourself for your kids. You will come out stronger, and happier. You deserve only the best, that "wife" of yours didn't deserve you. Onward and upward!!!
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 01:52 PM
4

I believe this thought runs through many men's minds. Are you really going to give up on your kid? Money won't do anything for your kid versus what your presence could do. I've been fighting for my kids and have already blown 150k. I'd prefer bankruptcy over giving up my children. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing I willingly gave up on my child. You can always make money back, can you always get a relationship with your kid? Only you can decide. Best of luck, whatever you do...
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 04:23 PM
1

Don't be too hard on yourself, your child is a miracle and you will be a miracle for him if you stay present for him and never give up on him. The logistical dynamics suck in your case. Still really worth a hard look at the benefit of staying in the marriage versus exiting now. A few suggestions: couples therapy / counseling, candid conversations with your wife on your needs and her needs and working with each other, and read "No More Mr. Nice Guy." Only you can decide on how to proceed and only…
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/22 05:06 PM
2

Don't wait, file now. You're going to have to pay more alimony and higher alimony. You'll likely have more assets to split too. Finally, your kid won't really remember if you split now. It will be much harder on your kid if you divorce when he is 5. I thought about divorce very seriously in 2017. I stayed for the kids which was stupid. Now I'm getting divorced 5 years later and have a significant amount of assets and much more salary which I have to share. Basically what I'm saying is that if yo…
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/22 02:21 PM
6

NEVER GET MARRIED. PROBLEM SOLVED.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 03:09 AM
2

Just divorce now. If you're thinking about this shit and are nervous about your future, why stay? I screwed up and had a knowing I should divorce about 5 years ago. Here I am now... getting divorced. Don't wait, man up and bite the bullet.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 02:15 AM
1

Be very careful. Either record everything or move out. I got thrown out of my house this summer because of an "act of domestic violence." It was thrown out eventually, but I can't move back into the house and I wasted 20k defending myself. Be careful!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 10:26 PM
3

She's sounds like a real piece of shit. Definitely turn her in.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 12:49 PM
2

I would also recommend ignoring it. You mentioned that you are just starting to heal. Engaging with her will negate the healing process. Focus on you, your growth, and what your needs and wants are. There is nothing to be gained by talking to her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 11:31 AM
4

Fight for 50/50, nothing less no matter what. Unfortunately a lot of ex wives forget that they conceived with the help of the father and that father has rights to his children
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 10:11 PM
1

100%
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 01:57 PM
2

Agreed! We have our best life ahead of us. It's better to be alone and happy than "married" and miserable. Money comes and goes, time just goes. Best of luck to you on living your best life 💪
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 01:57 PM
3

Are you and me the same person? My story is pretty much identical. Except mine was a SAHM for 6.5 years. Lol @ me for letting that happen.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 04:26 PM
0

Truly loving yourself. Putting yourself and your needs first ahead of anything and anyone. Getting in touch with your emotions and being vulnerable. Developing a daily routine to improve yourself (meditation, stretch, run, work out, etc.)
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 12:32 PM
2

They're divorced now right? Jesus christ ..
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 11:46 PM
7

Be very careful. My wife filed a false DV claim against me and I was ripped from my house and my kids. Took me 3 months to get it dropped and 30,000. I now have limited time with my kids, because the legal system is GARBAGE and women have the upper hand, at least where I live. I agree with the "record everything" comment. Ask at least two lawyers if you leave your house if you give up any rights, in my state you do not give up anything. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 11:43 AM
1

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 12:02 PM
2

Find a male coaching group or men's support system. I found Man on Fire and it has changed my life. Focus on yourself and your growth. Surround yourself with people that love you and support you, drop the users. Your best life is ahead of you. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 12:30 AM
2

Please just pay. I envy you SO badly. I'm at 80k legal fees and I'm not even close to divorce. Count your blessings.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 12:37 PM
1

Thanks for all the comments gents. Has anyone had a BAD experience with a vasectomy? Such as ED or something like that? I'm seeing positives and I'm all for that, just wondering of the potential negatives. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 09:56 PM
1

Truth right here. Fight, fight, fight.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 08:12 AM
3

File anyway, your lawyer sounds like an idiot. There comes a point when the judges see through the bullshit that spouses are pulling.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 08:09 AM
7

Holy shit. She's going to file a restraining order. Have a recorder on at all times and get cameras. This happens all the time in messy divorces. You get kicked out and keep paying ALL the bills. 🇺🇸
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:58 AM
11

Don't "try" to read No More Mr. Nice Guy. Fucking read it! You need it. I needed it to and it has brought me a lot of wisdom and ultimately peace.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:57 AM
2

Great topic. I'm moving to my 3rd lawyer now actually. My first two have been greedy, uncaring and deceptive. It's very sad but they are mostly self interested and don't give a SHIT about you unless they can bill you and squeeze another $400 out of you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 06:47 PM
1

It has destroyed it. I have a few hours a month, versus 24/7. It hurts, but just makes me realize what a shitty relationship I was in. It also makes me realize how much I love my kids and how much I love being a father.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 12:03 PM
1

🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 04:09 AM
1

I would check with a lawyer. In my state you can leave the house with no repercussions.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 03:20 AM
3

You do not surrender the house, I was told this by three separate lawyers. I actually stayed in the house because I was worried about it (and i was initially ill informed). But now, guess what? I lost the house! My wife is living there and I'm paying all the bills. God bless America. It's wonderful that your wife is afraid about a false TRO. in my case, I fought it and won, but it cost 30k. This process is so fucked. Good luck man, stay the course.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 03:16 AM
0

Buy a good recorder and have it on all the time. She is going to record you and everything you say. Be extremely careful. Move out, before she files a restraining order on you. Any idea why I know so much about this shit? Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 02:27 AM
3

Yep, same here. The system is totally broken.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 05:01 PM
1

I'm sorry you're going through this. I second the parental alienation comment. Some states care more than others about this. I'm in NJ and they don't seem to care about it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 06:48 PM
2

Good for you man! I have considered doing the same thing, even taking unpaid time for a few months depending how things shake out. Enjoy that precious time with them.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 02:33 PM
1

What an awesome response. I feel the same way as you, 100%. I filed as well and I feel I have grown a lot as a man, father and friend through this experience. Its been insanely hard, but I am finally being true to myself and no longer being a fraud. OP, I would encourage you to focus on yourself and your growth, rather than focusing on the negatives in your life.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 06:17 PM
1

Have your wife get a job before you file. You want to be able to show that she is useful and can generate income. The higher the better. It will reduce your alimony. Fight for 50/50 custody. If that's what you want. I wouldn't give in on anything that is going to give you heartburn, especially your kids. Buckle up. There's a chance you'll be spending a boatload on legal fees. My wife is also a psycho and I'm at 90k with no end in sight. Or divorce hasn't even really started. Its disgusting and d…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 06:38 PM
2

Nj sucks. I know because I'm here and the hammer is going to come down on me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/22 02:13 PM
2

My ex is doing the same stuff to me. I have decided I will NEVER give up on my children. Never. I will fight through the broken family court system, spend all my money and all my energy, but my kids are worth it. You need to counterbalance the poison she puts in them. Eventually she will stop. Also, when the kids are older, they will realize what their crazy mom has done and will side with you. Stay strong brother. Giving up is not an option (in my opinion).
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/22 04:02 PM
7

Jesus Christ! It's all a trap. Thanks for sharing this article. I guess the lesson here is just date someone who works and makes as much as you or more. If they quit their job, relationship is over 🤮
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 03:30 AM
40

I couldn't agree more with this. Marriage is just financial protection, normally for women. You can be in a committed relationship, even put a ring on her finger, just don't go through church and state. I'm down 84k in legal fees and haven't really even started the divorce. Not to mention my businesses and assets which I worked so hard for are going to get halved. Marriage in the current day and age is a SCAM.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 07:23 PM
5

I couldn't agree more. I wish I had this forum 7 years ago before I got married. I might have gotten married anyways, but I would be more aware of the pitfalls. You can bring a horse to water... but you can't make it drink.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 10:07 PM
30

Never get married. NEVER. It makes no sense anymore. Just have a committed relationship and do not share your finances with anyone. Been there done that, I'll never do it again. You have no idea how evil women can be, especially once they got you on the hook because you are legally "married." F that.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 08:08 PM
2

Never give up. You should be able to get 50/50 unless there was abuse, or you have an alcohol or drug problem. If your lawyer or mediator are not working in your best interest, fire them. DO NOT AGREE or SIGN anything you will regret. Women think they get the upper hand, but that's only because a lot of men are weak and allow them to have the upper hand. Stay strong, and be patient. The journey may be long, but you'll be happier in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 11:41 AM
0

Good thing you are divorced from this woman! Shame on you for having shared anything when you know how crazy she is. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/22 10:24 PM
4

Read: "No more Mr nice guy." Good luck man.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/22 02:03 AM
3

I will join your group. I'm going through a bunch of what you posted.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 06:18 PM
2

My stbxw filed a TRO on me. For no reason. It's been almost two months thanks to our "Justice" system. Please move out and be careful.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 06:46 PM
2

Amazing share, thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 05:57 PM
1

Awesome share! Inspiring for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 05:50 PM
2

You are 100% spot on. This is what happens to most men and leads to divorce. This also happened to me. I hope everyone reads this and learns something from your post. Cheers 🍻
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 05:48 PM
1

Awesome! This is exactly how I feel. I'm going through hell now, but it's worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 05:43 PM
1

Wear a body camera. She will file a restraining order on you and you'll be gone for 3 months. Be careful
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 11:55 PM
4

Bite the bullet. Life is short, don't stay miserable. Im getting destroyed emotionally and financially, but I'm still happy I'm doing it. My wife has alienated my children from me and I'm currently not allowed to speak to her or my children (thank you courts and thank you broken justice system). It is all temporary. I have an immense sense of relief being away from my wife. I wouldn't go back. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 01:49 PM
1

It's a trap. Be smart.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 09:25 PM
4

This group is biased. I'm getting divorced and have no intention of marrying again. A committed relationship with someone who has similar goals as you is where it's at. I'm not even 40 and am giving away half my wealth to someone who used me and didn't appreciate me. Never again. Stay single. If by some crazy chance you get married, make sure you do the following: 1) prenuptial agreement. 2) keep separate accounts and never put her name on them. 3) keep your business accounts separate and never …
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 09:20 PM
1

Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 09:45 PM
3

Yep, TRO because we had an argument about driving separately somewhere. Disgusting. The law favors those who file it first. I literally have done nothing wrong. Because she named my kids on the TRO, I technically have no rights to see my children until the final hearing. So far I've seen my kids for 4 hours in 35 days. Karma always wins. Stay strong man.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 02:44 PM
5

Do NOT contact her ever!!! She'll file another TRO on you. I will never go around my wife without a body camera on me. Crazy woman filed a TRO over nothing. I haven't been in my house in over a month and have not seen my kids in weeks. Absolutely bullshit. Good luck....
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 02:29 PM
1

I'm going through a divorce and my wife has zero idea how many assets we own. Unfortunately for me it's a lot. I was warned by several attorneys to list everything. If your wife wants her attorney to dig, they'll likely find stuff. If something isn't listed on your tax return, you could probably get away with it, but otherwise I would disclose. Its 2022 and theres a paper trail for basically everything. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 01:31 PM
7

This is all true, and it's so sad. I'm currently a victim of this bullshit. The one that hurts the most is I will lose 50% of my kids, more like 70% if you are a man.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/22 07:37 PM
7

Be careful. My stbxw filed a restraining order on me for a verbal disagreement. I got kicked out of the house and can't go near the house or the kids or I get arrested. Crazy shit. I suggest trying to get her out and record all interactions. If she refuses, you should move out until the divorce is settled. I learned my lesson the hard way. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/22 04:43 AM
4

Get a body camera right now! Do not argue with her, because she will file a frivolous restraining order and your ass is out of the house. I'm currently kicked out and haven't seen my kids in 14 days. You might actually consider staying at a friend's or family members house. Be careful.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/22 01:20 PM
1

I love this comment. It's 100% accurate. This was my problem too. I never stood up for myself and never said no. My wife always got her way. I highly suggest the book "no more Mr nice guy."
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 10:01 PM
2

Get a body camera. Then file for divorce. My wife filed a frivolous restraining order on me and now has my kids and my house. The laws out there are frequently abused, so be careful. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 09:59 PM
3

I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice. In my opinion, you have given her several reasonable opportunities to come get her stuff. Do you have text messages or emails proving this? Do you have her response of "being too busy" to pick it up documented? If so, I would torch everything. Again, not legal advice.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/22 07:18 AM
3

This is a really good perspective. You want your kids to see you in a happy relationship, so they know what that looks and feels like.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 10:15 PM
5

I would divorce for cause and maybe the court will have sympathy on you because she cheated. Staying in a loveless, miserable marriage is not the answer. I tried for 7 years and gave up. Currently going through the process. I'm going to get absolutely screwed, but I'd prefer to have less money than be a miserable excuse for a man and stay in the marriage. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 10:08 PM
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