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oeuf_fume Archive

View 0 posts and 77 comments by oeuf_fume on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

I disagree that more is expected of men. As far as being earners and good capitalists...outside of second order social norms like appearance...I'd maintain I have something of a point. But you do too.
/r/ExRedPill21/07/22 01:01 AM
1

You seem to mention his special-ness as kind of an afterthought. Is it not what you appreciate most about him?
/r/ExRedPill19/07/22 03:48 AM
8

Imagine...a man going thru the same kind of hell as a woman. The fact is enough to frustrate and confound redpillers and radfems alike. It threatens to lay bare our common humanity and throw the houses of cards built by ideology and grift into an irretrievable and meaningless mess.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/22 03:38 AM
2

I wish. I am now in my mid 50s. For me there is going to be no finding love without putting in the years of active disappointment that I didn't have enough self-worth to live thru then, and don't have enough years left to live thru now. My great mistake was thinking that some day i could bypass all the bullshit and just find someone. Nope. Doesn't work that way. When you bypass the bullshit, you bypass the experiences and you bypass life. So you get nothing! You lose! Good day sir! CMV if you th…
/r/ExRedPill13/07/22 11:43 PM
2

Heterosexuality comes with a price tag in our society these days: you need to live up to the expectations of neoliberal capitalism. And you're right, more is expected of men than women in that regard, in or out of the dating pool. I don't know what the hell can be done about it, other than find a clutch of far left people near you who don't buy into all that shit (and are not hopeless wokies). But they're just as likely to be LGBTQ as straight. In fact most cishet leftists i know, men or women, …
/r/ExRedPill13/07/22 11:25 PM
2

Believe me - money is not enough. I semi-retired in my 40s with family money and managed investments. I'm lousy with numbers and I have a very sketchy job history thanks to neurodivergent disabilities. I am financially secure, but not in a way any woman would appreciate.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/22 11:20 PM
2

Some of the coaches are really great at teaching about dangerous women and why they should stay away from certain types, but what about us introverted, but traumatized, but still adorable nerdy women that just have issues with anxiety and depression, but are still framed as dangerous, scary, and will rob you the moment you give her your debit card? You're lumped in with the really dangerous ones, what else? Because it reinforces the con. And I have to say that without a working knowledge of comm…
/r/ExRedPill11/07/22 12:06 AM
1

Then we get into the "whose fault is that" argument. Men who are romantically inclined respond that it's yet another thing women ask for but reject when its offered. In today's society it connotes unmanliness - the simp, the creep, the fake-nice guy.
/r/ExRedPill09/07/22 03:19 PM
4

But can't that behavior be a quiet influence even on women who aren't considered gold diggers? People won't really notice if a woman who is a really good fit with 2 different men chooses one based on his career.
/r/ExRedPill09/07/22 03:16 PM
5

I think you're onto something here...especially with the following: I'm just trying to see where his head may have been at writing that or if it should just all be dismissed as garbage. That approach would not have occurred to most men. (Yes, I know you're female.) Men who aren't academics don't unpack opinions about gender. They simply accept or reject them.
/r/ExRedPill09/07/22 03:05 PM
1

This seems good levelheaded realistic advice. I'd just add that there's another side to confidence than self-confidence. Its a foundation to build on. But we also need to be confident of ourselves in the world. There's not much self-talk that can substitute - or even prepare us - for the level of interpersonal experience needed to be confident in the world. We have to be thrown for a lot of loops - rejection, embarrassment, betrayal, cruelty. And we won't be ready for any of it. Not until we go …
/r/ExRedPill08/07/22 08:52 PM
1

the bottom ~5% of men Define "bottom." Be as specific as you can.
/r/ExRedPill08/07/22 08:40 PM
1

I expect to see Toxic Masculinity come back in a major way due to this. What form will it take? More and more men will come forward with these experiences and will express them freely and beautifully. This is not toxic at all.
/r/ExRedPill08/07/22 08:39 PM
1

ok, tell me more
/r/ExRedPill07/07/22 10:50 PM
1

having to do so much fundamental work that doesn't get you any closer to what you want, but only makes it possible, reminds me of Carl Sagan's apple pie. step 1 in the recipe is: "invent the universe."
/r/ExRedPill05/07/22 11:25 PM
3

Poor emotional work ethic. Maybe not the best term to use? Work ethic in American society is not a thing to be discussed or unpacked. It's simple, one size fits all, and you either have it or you don't. This isn't a useful model for emotional work or emotional intelligence.
/r/ExRedPill05/07/22 04:38 PM
7

there is, however, a culturally reinforced behavior pattern that affects many relationships. the woman is expected to be more in touch with her own emotions than the man, and therefore she's allowed to ask emotional support from him. but if he asks emotional support from her, he is flipping the script and she may feel betrayed that he's not the rock she expected to cling to.
/r/ExRedPill05/07/22 04:30 PM
3

They have all these expectations of a woman that they give hardly any thought to "what do I DESERVE based on what I as a partner can PROVIDE?". I think they don't want to think about that because they believe strongly that women don't give men love for love, they give it for playing life's games and winning.
/r/ExRedPill03/07/22 04:32 PM
2

Tell nobody and don't reduce your self-worth with it. You are not your celibacy. I like the message you give yourself, “I got that pretty much down” or “I am good the way I am."
/r/ExRedPill01/07/22 04:23 PM
2

We got too small-d democratic starting in the 1930s, and too civilized starting in the 1960s. The frontier savage/feudal planter elements of our national psyche started fighting back. As it looks now, they will never stop fighting back until there is no one left to fight.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 05:25 PM
1

The Mighty Dicks
/r/ExRedPill14/06/22 05:07 PM
4

I am a guy. A late middle aged cis het guy. I don't make a thing of being a man unless I'm buying clothes or discussing my junk (and I seldom discuss my junk).
/r/ExRedPill10/06/22 12:26 AM
8

Being a man used to be somewhat less strict and confining culturally. Of course before that it was more so, but most recently it has become the cultural property of generally right-facing entities like redpill, alt-right, etc. They feel masculinity needs defining and narrowing to their own ideals (advertised as traditional and beneficial to society, but in reality neither).
/r/ExRedPill09/06/22 08:20 PM
2

truly boring men are better providers. they're not autists, they relate well to others, they're just highly conventional people. as such they are more likely than introverts to have well paid jobs that depend on networking with other boring men. they may, for instance, play a lot of golf.
/r/ExRedPill29/05/22 07:34 PM
2

Nasty ass fuckers.
/r/ExRedPill29/05/22 07:30 PM
1

Another argument I have seen is that confidence does not arise ex nihilo. You feel confident not in itself, but because you have accomplished things and worked towards goals (which make you attractive). This argument needs questioning. Why? Because it has some seriously troubling implications for those of us with chronic mental emotional conditions. Depression can be thought of as cancer of the soul. Once it reaches your ambitions and goals, the cancer has entered Stage IV. In a society like the…
/r/ExRedPill26/05/22 07:02 PM
1

I made the mistake in my 20s of listening to a fellow nerd who was training as an economist. He said finding a relationship is a game of odds, and vanishingly small odds - around 1 per cent on any given date, the same as getting a job from any given resumé sent out. It was not what I needed to hear coming off a hot relationship. How can you argue with the numbers, I thought. I reentered the dating field with a serious loss of optimism, and eventually it took over.
/r/ExRedPill26/05/22 06:56 PM
1

built a foundation talk about this please. is it just self-work and self-acceptance, or does it have to be earned out in the world?
/r/ExRedPill26/05/22 06:35 PM
1

I always believed confidence in yourself was the necessary but not sufficient characteristic. What allows you to be yourself in the world was what put you over - and that requires confidence in the world. And confidence in the world doesn't always follow from confidence in yourself. In fact you may have to do things to earn it that make you question your self-confidence or shake it, and do them regularly.
/r/ExRedPill26/05/22 06:28 PM
2

No they're not. They sow discontent without an outlet and that helps keep all kinds of agencies in business and in power. The gov't is busy cracking down on socialists and other lefties because they try to give unity and purpose while threatening too many status quos.
/r/ExRedPill26/05/22 06:23 PM
1

Masculinity is an EXTREMELY diverse and complicated topic whose norms vary according to culture, geography, and individual person's philosophy. However, most men and most women don't believe that, and don't form relationships based on that.
/r/ExRedPill26/05/22 06:17 PM
2

The difference is that there are ex-redpillers around. I would assume most ex-blackpillers are dead - psychically if not physically.
/r/ExRedPill26/05/22 06:13 PM
1

My gloss, from just reading the header, is that they're going along with socially imposed gender norms, and not thinking that critically about them. Probably feeling somewhat like they're facing a life of danger and deprivation that is sometimes a scary reality, and sometimes a seductive myth. There's also the possibility that such women have been socialized to feel romantically and or sexually attracted to the male archetype of provider/protector in and of itself, independent of any beliefs abo…
/r/ExRedPill26/05/22 06:08 PM
2

we get quite a few guys who are not as "ex" as they would like to be. they tend to cling to some redpill, PUA or other ideas, because they're seductive, and very easy to accept. one common idea they cling to is "value." they'll persist in calling a stereotypical woman "high value," and some will even continue talking about "high value" men...not fully grasping that this system of "value" is something they'll need to get beyond to be fully ex-redpilled.
/r/ExRedPill22/05/22 02:36 AM
2

Number one, it's all a spectrum. A person is not "gay" based on dress, speech, choices of entertainment or other cultural stereotypes.
/r/ExRedPill22/05/22 01:45 AM
1

Those 5,000 casual friends on Facebook won’t help dig your car out of the ditch. But if Uncle Bob might, but he said one thing dumb at thanksgiving, so blocked for life. We're placing if-then with if-but...which is a logically meaningless proposition.
/r/ExRedPill21/05/22 07:01 PM
7

I think cishet folks are finding gender roles have become too strict and confining, and that its really not possible to get around them in dating or sexuality. At least its a lot harder than it is in everyday life.
/r/ExRedPill21/05/22 06:57 PM
4

if the truth hurts and honesty is brutal... THEN what hurts must be true and brutality is honest
/r/ExRedPill21/05/22 06:37 PM
1

Now it's my turn to say What? blow off INFORMAL•NORTH AMERICAN ignore or dismiss someone or something. "I took the car in and told them about the problem and they just blew me off"
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 08:14 PM
1

Sorry to be verbose. If I'd been that terse it would only have been because I wanted to blow you off.
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 08:08 PM
1

encouraging people to adopt healthy and caring relations towards one another is a very slow and failure-prone process. especially as regards any change in society.
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 07:53 PM
1

healthy outlier behaviors don't reproduce nearly so easily as unhealthy ones. they usually just stay obscure and large number of people never adopt them.
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 07:35 PM
1

but there's a real cost to being an outlier unless you're very aggressively out for yourself. that's why the weirdos who make an impact are almost always charlatans and cranks.
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 07:02 PM
5

That doesn't trade in the very profitable tradition of misogyny. America, especially, needs sexual content that indulges its taboos, hatreds, and guilts. so many of us can't cum without WINNING!
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 04:31 PM
29

there's material of women enjoying themselves sexually, and then there's porn. i mostly use the former because i can't get aroused watching all the dehumanizing, ritualizing, and commercializing that make porn, porn. what arouses me, and has always aroused me, is a woman's body. i prefer mostly or entirely naked women in explicit, usually solo activity, ideally without heavy makeup or retouching. i harbor a few mild fetishes but actual porn has a way of making them unenjoyable thru hyper focus f…
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 04:18 PM
1

mature adults who treat each other with respect and communicate openly and honestly.
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 03:15 PM
1

the lack of healthy masculinity around all masculinity is healthy, if you listen to men's rightists. say t-xic m-sculinity and you trigger them, because nothing harmful is to be blamed on gender, or even on gender norms. imo, they're confusing the issue.
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 02:57 PM
7

we have this idea that a bad dad is better than an absent dad. it rewards our stereotypes about women, so it stays around.
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 02:13 AM
0

and such people are surrounded by so much bullshit that they are outliers by definition.
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 02:12 AM
3

You are a true subversive. Thank you for posting this.
/r/ExRedPill17/05/22 02:10 AM
2

People in the real world are still hugely ok, you know. They're only ok because they don't try to think about the big issues, and they don't try to get together to make change.
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 07:48 PM
2

youtube? who tf brought youtube into it? i was just thinking facilitating people having real dialogue. altho i am half-convinced that this is a naive thing to wish for, at least until one person learns to have a real dialogue with themselves.
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 07:21 PM
1

i'm happy to hear. sorry about the insensitive way i asked.
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 05:50 PM
1

Healthy relationships are based on open and honest communication between mature consenting adults who treat each other with respect and share common interests and compatible life goals. and as the old phrase goes..."howzat workin' out for ya?"
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 05:47 PM
0

Sorry Doc, maybe you're in the 90th percentile of the best adjusted, but i grew up with educated but conflicted people who used "don't argue semantics with me" to mean "shut up."
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 05:44 PM
0

effort and work is a nice way to say "a helluva lot more work than you think or can prepare for."
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 05:40 PM
2

let's look at American core beliefs. the just world fallacy says everyone gets what they deserve and vice versa. combine that with the belief that there are winners and losers in everything, and you get millions of people who think they're losers and just might deserve to be - so hell no they don't, and they're pissed.
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 05:37 PM
2

I think there'll be difficulty in finding a truly genderwise impartial set of moderators that aren't somehow full of themselves. Why? Are the only people left with an egalitarian perspective on gender issues likely to be so wounded and self-obsessed that they're out of touch with reality? Have we come to that point? Frankly, sometimes, I wonder.
/r/ExRedPill15/05/22 05:19 PM
8

Men chase after chads too. RP'ers call them Stacys. They're just as deep in the looks+status=sex game as Chads, just playing from the other side of the field.
/r/ExRedPill12/05/22 10:32 PM
1

and plenty of average/ugly women, frankly. the apples generally don't fall too far off the tree.
/r/ExRedPill12/05/22 10:26 PM
1

hey, if you're not some random online fuckhead, maybe i'm not either. so...what fucked up the dating market in your humble opinion?
/r/ExRedPill12/05/22 10:21 PM
1

never, but its a common enough misapprehension.
/r/ExRedPill12/05/22 07:51 PM
1

Maybe not for the reasons you think. Ie, maybe women didn't create this situation.
/r/ExRedPill12/05/22 06:26 PM
0

OP is not ex-anything yet. Keep working on those biases.
/r/ExRedPill12/05/22 06:20 PM
2

we know how difficult it is to get that sculpted look, that valedictorian title, that properties and investments. and presumably, you know how much of yourself you have to deny to attain those things. there's a great temptation, and great incentive, to make ourselves into machines that exist to achieve goals. we all must ask ourselves: am i first and foremost a human being, or a human doing? (of course, if the question seems absurd, it answers itself.)
/r/ExRedPill12/05/22 02:19 AM
2

Bake...you can sell stuff at farmers’ markets.
/r/ExRedPill11/05/22 09:06 PM
0

Maybe you're the one behind the curve...
/r/ExRedPill09/05/22 07:15 PM
1

liberal feminism
/r/ExRedPill09/05/22 07:02 PM
0

OK, maybe i'm behind the curve here...can you explain please?
/r/ExRedPill09/05/22 07:01 PM
2

I think we need more radio amateurs (Hams). They can serve the community in emergencies and it’s a social thing as well, talking with people offline and at random locations. But it’s aging out badly because it has an image problem - “lame nerddom” (making stuff work) as opposed to “cool nerddom” (using stuff that already works). There are many other possibilities of course. I like maker and builder cultures because they're useful, share skills, f**k around with consumerism, and can be remunerati…
/r/ExRedPill09/05/22 06:42 PM
1

Because when conservatives bitch that the military is being used to teach values, they only mean social justice and social welfare values. Basic training is sacred to them - the GI Bill and healthcare are anything but. (They think wokeness training is a huge threat but military folks are used to bullshit and mostly just nod thru it.)
/r/ExRedPill09/05/22 06:34 PM
2

She’s what a far left fringe (including me) call a “neoliberal.” Most Dems AND Pubs are, which is why the term isn’t well known - the 2 party system still dictates most Americans’ values, so thinking outside that box doesn’t work for them. A working definition: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neoliberalism
/r/ExRedPill09/05/22 06:30 PM
1

how does that make you feel?
/r/ExRedPill09/05/22 06:24 PM
4

OP, i'm not with you when you assume that "all us guys" respond in healthy ways to loneliness and rejection. i didn't for a long time. i had to learn it. i hope you don't look down on a guy who can't "just do it." it's an attitude that a lot of us need to come to gradually, by considering women as if they were people, like us, and by listening to our better natures. and a lot of men are failing to do this •. its not going to help them to just cowboy up and do the same damn thing over and over, w…
/r/ExRedPill09/05/22 06:11 PM
4

and if you find you're having emotions you can't control, don't "be a man" and try to push thru. be a human and get some kind of help.
/r/ExRedPill09/05/22 05:54 PM
3

once you go blackpill, you never go backpill.
/r/ExRedPill04/05/22 08:08 PM
5

For me, a big reason i stopped dating in my 30s was that i realized it was becoming a rat race. Too much competitiveness. Lousy odds. It had become a game you had to play to be with someone. I was not about to compete with other men on the basis of who i was, so the fun was gone.
/r/ExRedPill03/05/22 03:44 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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