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ohheyhi99 Archive

View 45 posts and 8,397 comments by ohheyhi99 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
76

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/21 04:29 PM
46

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/19 02:45 PM
43

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 06:46 PM
36

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/19 01:58 AM
34

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/19 03:08 AM
31

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/19 02:14 PM
26

CMVohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/19 03:31 AM
22

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/19 01:27 AM
22

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/19 01:13 AM
20

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 01:51 PM
17

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/21 12:34 AM
15

Question For Womenohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/19 03:02 AM
13

ohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/19 11:23 PM
12

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 03:32 AM
10

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/19 05:56 PM
9

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/21 05:54 PM
9

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/20 04:42 PM
9

Question For Menohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/20 02:06 AM
9

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 06:15 PM
7

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/19 11:49 PM
6

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 09:09 PM
6

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/19 01:50 AM
6

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/19 09:52 PM
5

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/20 07:57 PM
5

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/19 04:12 PM
4

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/20 05:49 PM
2

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/19 03:43 AM
1

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/19 06:59 PM
1

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/19 02:59 AM
1

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/21 04:44 PM
1

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/19 04:23 PM
1

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/19 10:39 PM
1

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/19 10:04 PM
1

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/19 03:41 AM
1

Question For Menohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/19 08:43 PM
1

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/19 10:09 PM
1

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/19 04:51 PM
1

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/21 02:33 PM
1

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/19 01:48 AM
1

Question For Womenohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/20 10:21 PM
1

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/19 01:04 AM
1

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/19 01:57 AM
1

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/19 02:59 PM
1

Discussionohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/19 06:54 PM
0

ohheyhi99/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/19 11:23 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 8,397 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
15

This is the answer, no matter how many “wHy DOn’t MeN cOmplimEnt EacH other?” replies come rolling in.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/22 04:23 AM
3

True lmao
/r/AllPillDebate31/10/22 07:43 PM
7

You’ve got strong “speaks to hear theirself talk” energy
/r/AllPillDebate30/10/22 03:10 PM
1

Very interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 07:33 PM
1

Women prefer men who aren’t fat, and weight isn’t genetic
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 07:32 PM
1

Nailed it
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 07:27 PM
1

“Plastic surgery can make small improvements but it cannot change your whole face or make you beautiful.“ Usually true. “plenty of weird looking below average celebrities are seen as sex symbols (Adam Driver)” Adam Driver is over 6’ and broad. “Willem DaFoe” Do women actually see him as a sex symbol? People like him, and some would say he was above-average looking when he was young, but I’ve never heard of him being a sex symbol.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 07:26 PM
1

True
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/22 06:39 PM
1

https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/1297533 “WHAT YOUR PARTNER REALLY MEANS WHEN THEY CALL YOU CUTE, SEXY, OR BEAUTIFUL” “The other day, one of my friends came to me seeking advice. She was distraught over the fact that a guy she was interested in had called her "cute,” so she wanted some outside perspective on what he really meant.” “In many people’s minds, especially adult men and women, cute can come across as a demeaning thing to be called. This explains why you might be left wondering, “What …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/22 01:17 PM
1

“That's news to the girls who have called me all that and still dated or had sex with me.” I said “can be” because it’s not an absolute. Being called “pretty” is almost always good, very good even. “Ugh...this is a really stupid game to play” You think you’re so high and mighty lol. I’ve seen women debate “cute” vs “pretty” vs “beautiful.” It’s not a big deal. “but since you brought it up, context matters and, again, being one good thing is not sufficient to make anyone want to have sex with you…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/22 01:05 AM
1

I disagree. “Pretty” is a good compliment, but other compliments like “sweet” and “adorable” can be bad if they’re coming from a woman who you want to find you sexually attractive. Women analyze and overanalyze compliments from men too. Women compliment men less because they find less guys attractive and they don’t want to make guys they find unattractive think there’s a chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 09:28 PM
10

Yes. I think women use “pretty” for guys with feminine features who they would have sex with and “adorable” for guys with feminine features who they wouldn’t have sex with
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 05:08 PM
2

What can a man with bad genetics do that a woman with bad genetics can’t? Do you mean in terms of appearance or things outside of appearance?
/r/AllPillDebate08/10/22 12:37 PM
1

I’m not saying that men can’t improve, I’m saying that genetics are important in male physical attractiveness too. If your dad looks good, he owes some of that to genetics.
/r/AllPillDebate08/10/22 06:47 AM
5

Mewing isn’t confirmed to be successful. Skincare helps, but not as much as the genetic features. Beards are good for those of us with the genetics to grow beards.
/r/AllPillDebate08/10/22 06:39 AM
1

“Also man's looks is more controllable especially they have thicker skin.” I’m not so sure about this. Men have skin and muscularity on their side, but the main things that make a man physically attractive are facial structure, height, not balding, shoulder to waist ratio, and penis size. Heavy makeup isn’t acceptable for normal men either.
/r/AllPillDebate08/10/22 06:18 AM
1

“Approaching multiple men publicly makes it less likely for other men to feel good about it, especially since the cultural narrative is that women don't need to approach at all. Approaching multiple men or boys publicly also makes it less likely for other men/boys to think they need to or should approach you first. They'll see you as used goods, in a way. Basic logic.” You’re not wrong, but you would still need to be careful about this as a man. No one likes the guy who goes around the room hitt…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/22 06:14 AM
-1

There was no purpose to your generalization besides saving you the effort of thinking harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/22 06:01 AM
1

“Stroking men's egos pays off socially.” Being approached by someone you’re attracted to is ego stroking. “You know how women are shamed for being sexually open to multiple men due to men's egos? Same thing when women are too socially or romantically open to multiple boys/men.” Yes, but are you sure that’s why your approaches didn’t work? I can’t say for sure, but it might be that the other guys you approached just weren’t that into you, whereas approaching may have worked with your husband. Plu…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 06:29 PM
1

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 06:04 PM
0

None of that suggests a lack of reading comprehension on my part. You expressed an unpopular view for a woman and I remarked on how it was unpopular. You thought I was misreading you because you thought I was saying you agreed with the women I was actually contrasting you with.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 05:36 PM
1

“Worked for me exactly 0 times.” People rarely approach anyone who lacks other equal or better options. And you never know if you’re their preference or not. It’s not going to be a cakewalk. “When I stopped being too forward, finally the right guy found me.” Coincidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 05:27 PM
1

You can’t read.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 03:13 PM
1

Nothing you said makes what I said untrue. Attractive men get the most compliments from women not only because women find them more attractive, but also because women are less likely to mind if an attractive guy thinks they’re interested. Even if a woman thinks an ugly guy has compliment-worthy shoes on, she might hold back the compliment because she doesn’t want to seem interested in the ugly guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 03:12 PM
1

“Please point to me any comments where I said men should pay on dates because it’s “special”.” I wasn’t talking about you there. Men pay because some women (not you) say they need to to. The women who uphold the standard say that they see the practice as special or showing appreciation, and they usually discourage any comparison to paying for sex. But you implicitly reject the distinction that those women make, because you say that men who pay for dates are hypocrites if they think there’s a dif…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 03:07 PM
2

“You have no idea what women do the most. You just see women flirting with attractive men from the sidelines and think she doesn’t compliment ugly men.” Read my comment again. I said attractive men get complimented the most. Are you really going to argue that ugly men get as many compliments as attractive men? “Plenty of women can attest to saying something as meaningless as “cool shoes” to a guy they’re definitely not attracted to, and he thinks they want to fuck.” Which is why I said many wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 02:21 PM
1

“They have zero issue paying for sex, they just like to call it something else (like a date) so it can help them believe the feeling was mutual. Because outright paying for sex means you’re so disgusting, a woman will only come near you for money” How are you not implying similarity between paying for dates and other forms of paying for sex? If paying for a date is actually special in the way some women say it is, then isn’t it too different from paying for sex to be considered hypocrisy if a ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 02:18 PM
1

You wrote “you all.”
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 01:18 PM
2

facepalm
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 01:13 PM
2

“Men treat women like shit when we approach, although they insist that it's such a great dating hack for women. Lol, I saw through that instantly when I was a young teen.” Approaching is a hack, but it’s not going to work every time. Almost any man who’s done his share of approaching has gotten bad reactions. In fairness, some guys don’t prepare women for that. “Men say they don't care about a woman's money or ambition. My husband LOVES that I work hard. His life wouldn't be what it is without m…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 01:11 PM
3

Men assume that compliments from women mean more than they do because women compliment attractive men the most. Women compliment attractive men the most because they’re attracted to them and they don’t mind implying interest to attractive men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 01:06 PM
1

I wasn’t saying that you said men should pay. I was saying that the women who want men to pay tend to attach some special significance to it and describe it as a “barrier to entry.” Very few men would pay if there weren’t any women insisting on pay to be with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 01:00 PM
0

“And it’s probably exactly the same for women. They want the hot guy, but he’s an asshole too. They’d be happy with just hot. Somehow though, women get blamed for picking hot assholes more than men get blamed for fucking crazy” I mostly agree. “and yet both cause single moms, which you all hate.” Excuse me? I don’t hate single moms. Take your assumptions somewhere else.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:47 PM
0

This is the first time I’ve heard a woman rather than a man imply that paying on a date has something in common with prostitution. Most women who say men should pay will fight that implication and say that they need to be paid for to feel appreciated or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 03:48 AM
3

Another thing: the “dad bod” guy in that video just has a normal lean body. The majority of Americans are probably not as lean as he is. The “fit” guy is ripped. Many fit men are not as ripped as he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 02:02 AM
1

Ah. How did you meet?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 01:56 AM
1

Even among healthy-eating women, I think a woman who only eats salad would stand out.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 01:26 AM
2

I think that’s it too
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:42 AM
1

“No. But men do ask for a woman who is all natural but has skin, breasts, and a butt only achievable with artificial enhancement.” Are these the only women getting boyfriends and husbands? “And she needs to be slim and healthy, but eat all the fun garbage with him.” Where are you hearing this from?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:38 AM
4

I’m not saying you’re wrong about the agreeableness thing, but was your girlfriend flirty with men? If a woman doesn’t seem interested, a lot of guys will take that as a sign to leave or go with someone who seems more passionate about him. “I don't think most men always want "the hottest/youngest girl in the room" either. Maybe for validation or a hookup, but in the long run they want a woman they have commonality with.” I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:33 AM
3

Lots of men will break their own rules for a hot woman who’s obsessed with him. It’s not necessarily the crazy that’s appealing, though it may be for some guys. If they could get “hot and obsessed” without the crazy, they’d usually prefer that, but hot non-crazy women are probably obsessing over guys above his level.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:14 AM
3

If your theory was true, then how would you explain that so many sexually frustrated young men watch porn and still say that they’re lonely? Wouldn’t the porn make them not feel lonely anymore?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:06 AM
3

Turns out that we both missed something lol. https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/bjop.12451 “women tend to overestimate the thinness of female bodies that men prefer, and men tend to overestimate the muscularity of male bodies that women prefer. Moreover, these misperceptions are more exaggerated for short-term relationships. Women mistakenly believe that men would like thinner women for short-term than for long-term relationships, while men misperceive that women would l…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:00 AM
1

So? Women usually don’t prefer overweight men either. It doesn’t matter how many people are overweight if someone’s not into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 09:47 PM
0

I can’t relate to the popularity one either. It might be that way with some other guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 09:45 PM
4

“They claim to care about emotional connection (which is why they don't want to just find a prostitute), but then they don't try to meet women beyond swiping on an app (that has every incentive to avoid helping them find a match)” Boomer view. Lots of people my age meet partners and spouses on dating apps. Meeting the right woman isn’t easy anywhere unless you’ve got women throwing themselves at you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 09:41 PM
1

I can play the strawman game too and say you only like relationships where no one has sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 09:37 PM
0

Wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 07:59 PM
-1

Wrong. A person can have family and friends and still want more than that. If you think that’s a problem, then don’t date anyone who you feel that way about.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 07:57 PM
8

That’s true. I think women are encouraged to focus on their requirements, even to the point that they exaggerate their requirements. Men are encouraged to think they’re simple, and they exaggerate how simple they are. Both do the opposite too, but it seems the most common this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 07:54 PM
5

“What they say: I'm lonely What they do: prioritize sex” Is this one really a contradiction? If they could find the sexual or romantic partners they want more easily, they wouldn’t feel lonely. Some women have casual sex or date guys to feel less lonely.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 07:44 PM
6

This is a good one. I could be wrong, but I think men average less requirements than women do outside of looks. However, a lot of us still do have requirements. Some of the guys on this sub act like men don’t care about anything else. They might be thinking of their own preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 07:35 PM
2

The ones who do it on purpose do
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 06:39 PM
3

Yes, but some women will bump into guys on accident too.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 06:02 PM
1

I quoted you. Don’t write things you can’t defend. You went too far.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 06:01 PM
1

You mean this? “Women do everything in a relationship. While men sit around, play videogames all day, watch porn, and complain that they don't get enough sex.”
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 04:46 PM
2

The exact moving of the goalposts that I predicted. I didn’t say that women don’t do disproportionate amounts of housework and childcare on average. You said times haven’t changed, but they have. You can say that the only change since the 1960s is men lying more all you want, but it doesn’t make it true.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 04:38 PM
1

From 2008: https://sites.utexas.edu/contemporaryfamilies/2008/04/25/mens-changing-contribution-to-housework-and-childcare-brief-report/ “In the USA, men’s absolute and proportionate contributions to household tasks increased substantially over the past three decades, substantially lessening the burden on women. National cross-time series of time-use diary studies show that from the 1960s to the 21st century, men’s contribution to housework doubled, increasing from about 15 to over 30 percent of …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 04:23 PM
1

This is literally stereotypes: “Women do everything in a relationship. While men sit around, play videogames all day, watch porn, and complain that they don't get enough sex.” I agree that many relationships have this dynamic, but times are changing and not all relationships are this way, especially in modern societies. You went too far.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 04:17 PM
-2

This is the feminist version of the angry redpiller frothing at the mouth about “AWALT.” Zero room for any shades of gray, and complete reliance on stereotypes from their echo chambers.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 03:34 PM
1

Fair enough lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 03:07 PM
5

“Obvious if you know what to look for” doesn’t sound obvious to me inb4 “men so dumb”
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 02:48 PM
1

You’re not supposed to say that! /s
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 02:44 PM
1

How did you and your bf meet?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 04:30 AM
1

Money and health don’t keep you from getting divorced ever, but it’s still true that men with more valuable traits are preferred for marriage. I’m not saying that only valuable men get married. The better equipped a woman is, the more likely it is that she’ll feel comfortable with divorcing if she doesn’t feel good about the relationship. This will usually make her happier. Women who are in a good place financially and socially will also feel more free to stay single if they want to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 01:04 AM
0

“That's why married men report being happier and living longer than their single and divorced counterparts.“ Men who have money and good health are strongly preferred by women who want a husband. “That's why single women report being happier and living longer than their married counterparts.“ Financially independent women are more likely to feel comfortable with staying single or leaving a spouse.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 11:18 PM
2

It’s not true that all women like assholes, but do you think all doormat women are turned on by doormat men?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 10:45 PM
5

Ironically, you could say the same thing about shortness and negativity. Both are handicaps, but if you’re otherwise desirable it won’t hurt you as much. Lots of negative people are out there dating and fucking, so I don’t agree that “negative people draw only negativity,” whatever that means.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 07:53 PM
1

Could you clarify this?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 06:13 AM
2

Any guy can get noticed in a bad way. Not all of them are getting noticed in a good way.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 06:01 AM
2

I believe that he’s short. He’s also well above average looking
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 02:25 AM
8

People who say it’s hopeless are exaggerating, people like OP are downplaying.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 02:17 AM
10

“No one says it isn’t a lot harder for a short man.“ Lots of people say that, OP included.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 02:09 AM
15

A lot has changed in the past 10 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 02:00 AM
29

If you have everything else in order, like a strong personality and good looks, height is less important. Most people don’t have both and many don’t even have one. So it’s not like short men are doomed, but they have less room to fuck up than other guys do. Plus, if you’re a young man today, you will probably see a lot of hate for short guys online, and that can hurt a guy’s confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 01:37 AM
1

I’m not saying you don’t find cooking skills attractive, but it’s probably not near the top of the list of things that you get you interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 05:49 PM
3

Lots of the men who say that women have it easier believe that this is a recent development. There’s less guys who believe that women had it easier before.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 05:21 PM
0

They probably could have done something else and gotten the same result.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 04:58 PM
0

That’s proof of my point. Those things aren’t the main draw in the dating world. I’m not saying men shouldn’t pitch in.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 04:56 PM
1

Fair enough, you got me there. However, I don’t think cooking and playing house skills make much of a difference in the number of options a person has.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 04:51 PM
3

Did the last man you had sex with impress you with his cooking and playing house skills first?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 04:44 PM
1

“Sexy” beats out “equal but not sexy”
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 04:21 PM
1

There are other ways to do that
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/22 04:34 AM
1

Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/22 04:44 AM
1

Read your previous comments. “We had a perfectly good solution, but you guys ruined it with your impatience and thirst, as you ruined any previous attempts to make things easier.” ““We” meaning society” Who is the “we” you were talking about who developed “a perfectly good solution” or “society” without men already being involved as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 05:01 PM
1

You believe that society came to be without any involvement from men?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 03:13 PM
1

“I find it insane that many men are obsessed with casual sex for validation rather than the sex itself” This is because compared to men, women typically settle more on attraction for relationships than for casual sex. With men it’s the reverse. Men also like sex too though.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 07:12 AM
1

What society was this?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 04:56 AM
3

I agree
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 04:53 AM
6

Well rounded answer
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 10:56 PM
14

These men exist, but they’re not the norm. Being short won’t hold a man back as much if he’s good-looking and assertive.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 10:43 PM
7

Exactly. Great flair btw haha
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 06:53 PM
1

You don’t seem to make the case that women actually have less anxiety about rejecting or approaching. I don’t think women have less anxiety about rejecting. The fear of a bad reaction would probably give them higher anxiety. I don’t think women have less anxiety about approaching either. Lots of women hardly approach or approach indirectly because they’re too anxious to do it outright, despite that approaching as a woman is arguably easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 06:52 PM
4

Yup, that’s what I’m getting at. Men and women aren’t equally selective.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 06:41 PM
9

Anxiety is a big issue for men, but keep in mind that women are probably no less likely than men to be anxious and depressed, and some research says that women are actually more likely to be anxious and depressed. There’s something else going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 06:31 PM
3

“All of these things should and would cause dating anxiety. But few women I know have that much anxiety surrounding rejection to where they behave like some men here do.” Are you saying that these women have less anxiety about rejecting others or less anxiety about putting themselves out there to be rejected by others? Major difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 06:29 PM
2

“Yup OLD has almost zero emotional cost for men.” I disagree. Online dating can really take it out of you, but the difference is that IRL can cost you even more.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 06:24 PM
2

If this part is true: “Me and him have insane sexual tension.” Then I’m skeptical of this: “But he views me as a sister I think.“
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 06:17 PM
-1

Keep telling yourself that. I’ve had multiple female friends try to set me up btw.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 09:59 PM
0

Sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 09:56 PM
-1

Just because a guy doesn’t have female friends trying to hitch him up, you think he’s a gremlin?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 09:50 PM
3

This. It’s the same thing as “not looking for hookups” lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 10:16 PM
2

“Because typically the person that is whining has not put much work into looking their best.” You’re answering the question by jumping back to the assumption I was questioning. It’s not just “whining.” It’s a fact that looks are a major factor in dating for men, and some women care about looks more than money. Even if some people don’t work hard enough on their appearance to see results, and even though blackpillers are overly pessimistic, genetics still matter. “Looking good takes work unless y…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 05:18 PM
2

“There are some areas in which women have it, undoubtly, better, and I agree that women hold inherent value just for being women, but beyond that, women can't do anything more.” What? It’s not the 1800s. “On the other hand, if you are a man you can work yourself through hardship. You can become better, no matter how fucked up the hand you've been dealed with is, there are countless things you can do to be a better man, to achieve what you are looking for, to reach your goals in life.” Women can’…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 09:32 AM
10

Why do you think the talk about looks is just “whining”? Looks affect men’s lives too, not only women. That doesn’t change that money affects men on top of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 08:30 AM
1

Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that none of them are. I agree that a lot of them are that way, and that sucks. But “99%”?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 09:47 AM
1

“We have options but 99% of them are incompatible hateful shits” *unattractive to you
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 09:27 PM
4

You’re not wrong, but I think this applies to attractive and rich people more than women. There are a lot of women and men who don’t have much power.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 07:42 PM
3

Have you considered staying single or finding someone who’s into open relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/22 11:58 AM
6

Just break up
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/22 11:55 AM
2

“Unlike many on this forum, I dont think this difference is biological, I think its cultural/societal. Ive traveled the world and been exposed to many cultures and there are many where men emotionally act like women in my country do (USA). Ive actually heard many derogatory remarks about American men from these cultures.” What does that look like?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 08:57 PM
1

Tate is actually misogynist though. It’s not some cheap accusation when it comes to him
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 08:09 PM
2

I agree that that helped him get popular. Reacting like Tate is not the way
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 08:07 PM
3

“Expecting half of the population to be essentially breeding caste for the rest can only ever result in either subjugation social supremacy with no in-between.” I agree. “We need more babies than women are willing to have just to avoid extinction so we have no choice but to industrialize the creation of new humans. Baby pods are coming and with them the possibility of real equality.” I could respect an argument that the human race ought to have more children. But Tate called a young woman studyi…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 04:07 PM
4

If he’d said that he thinks it’s better for everyone to have children, I could respect that even if I disagreed. But Tate seems to think women are obligated to not pursue a career and to have children and says they’re a “selfish fuck” if they don’t. Do you think a single woman who studies to be a doctor and heal people is selfish and wasting her life? And do you believe that men are also obligated to have children?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 04:01 PM
3

Do you believe that women are obligated to have children like Tate does?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 03:57 PM
7

It’s not just the manner. Unless someone can show me otherwise, he seems to think women are obligated to define their lives around having children. Does he think men have to do that?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 03:56 PM
17

You can criticize misandrist bullshit and encourage men without being a misogynist
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 02:41 PM
9

I mean, does he believe that men have to have children?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 02:39 PM
9

Does he hold men to the same standard?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 02:12 PM
9

What does “reset” mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 01:37 PM
1

What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 01:29 PM
15

This is an example of him being hateful, where he tells young women who want to have a career and aren’t focused on having kids that they’re “a selfish fuck.”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 01:28 PM
1

“It’s more like you’re working hard to take her “advice” out of context. Lol no, her advice to socially awkward guys is just meet people and have the sex you want. That’s about as vague as it gets. I showed you exact quotes that I think are bad. “Also, I don’t scrutinise “advice” on here that much because this is not an advice subreddit. I read more as exasperation than directed advice. But, believe what you want.” What kind of weird cop-out is that? No one is buying this. You would absolutely s…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 01:17 PM
1

“No I wouldn’t. I’d categorise them as “more social” and people who are more social, engage in more social activities (with mixed company) get laid a tonne more than those that do not.” “The party atmosphere adds an extra layer of ease because drugs and alcohol is often involved. However partys/bars aren’t the only places thes high sociability occurrences happen. Those who are more solitary in the way they soend their time get less of these opportunities (unless they are really hot).” Yeah but d…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 07:25 AM
1

“As with most things, the truth is somewhere in the middle. And while I believe virtually every young person tries dating apps, I believe the majority don’t rely on it as their primary source of dating prospects. Dating apps have a bad reputation, and for sure often sits on the phones of many, untouched and taking up megabytes for long stretches of time.” Would you say that everyone who goes to parties and tries to meet women is “relying” on parties to meet women? Lots of people use apps from ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 06:23 AM
8

Lots of redpill men only focus on dysfunctional women and are reluctant to acknowledge men who have partial or full responsibility for a broken home
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 06:03 AM
96

Ironically, you could also use this kind of justification for any misandrist who’s built up some women’s confidence. There are legitimate issues that spurred interest in Tate, but that doesn’t make Tate the right person to address those issues. Tate is a hateful person who made even more men and women hate each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 05:56 AM
2

“Dating app reliance by younger folks is overexaggerated. Proximity dating is still king by a large majority.” Some people exaggerate how common it is but others exaggerate how distant it is from daily life for many young people. Acting like only a few NEETs use dating apps doesn’t change their impact. “Yes being attractive is different. However most people aren’t that, and they have the experience of obtaining casual sex if they situate themselves in the right place at the right time.” Poppy th…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 05:31 AM
3

There are real differences. Social media as we know it and dating apps didn’t exist when she was in her teens and 20s, but they’re normalized now. You also left out my mentioning that she’s a conventionally attractive woman. That alone makes her experience different, even from average and below average women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 04:57 AM
3

You saw a comment saying that, quoted that line specifically, and then wrote a commendation of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 04:28 AM
1

True
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 04:23 AM
5

What better show of empathy could there be than saying that millions of people who disagree with you are just too autistic to agree? I’m liberal btw
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 04:14 AM
2

Underrated answer
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 03:43 AM
3

I’m a liberal and you’re an embarrassment.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 03:17 AM
1

😂
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 03:14 AM
5

I think it’s slightly flipped for some people. Many women fear being subjugated by a more conservative society, and many men fear being subjugated by a more progressive society. They don’t all necessarily want more power than the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 03:07 AM
0

“Your whole comment basically boils down to “UGH I have to put in effort with women and it’s not guaranteed I’ll get sex from it?”” No it doesn’t. This is such a deliberate misreading of what he said. Did you ever see this post from another bisexual woman? I’m not saying that women have it easy, but I don’t think you understand the situation of the average straight man.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 01:41 AM
2

As shitty as this sub can be, you’re wrong, and not everyone on here is a piller. But I agree that it isn’t worth it to be on here for a lot of guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 01:19 AM
3

How would a conventionally attractive Gen X woman know if it “really isn’t that hard” for young men today who aren’t good looking? Know your limits.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 01:00 AM
4

I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 12:57 AM
2

Do you mean enjoyment of casual sex or effectiveness in getting it?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 12:39 AM
1

My replies in this thread can probably answer any of the misdirecting questions you have prepared for me. I’m out.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 10:37 PM
1

I’m not going to try changing your mind
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 10:27 PM
0

You think women don’t prefer and seek out attractive men for hookups?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 10:23 PM
1

No one asked what you think about that
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 10:22 PM
1

So you agree that in casual arrangements, women are less likely than men to be settling on attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 10:21 PM
1

Women have an easier time holding out for quality partly because they have lower libidos on average. The ones with higher libidos who want something casual to tide them over have an easier time getting it because there’s so many men offering.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 10:16 PM
1

“No. We feel less validated by sex because men want to have sex fairly indiscriminately and there is no flattery in a man wanting to have sex with you.” This goes with my point. “Comparatively women do not want to have relationships with every man in the same way.” Lots of women pair up with guys who don’t excite them as much as the men they were more attracted to but couldn’t form a stable relationship with. Not all women, but it happens a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 10:12 PM
2

Women prioritize men’s resources and stability more than men do in reverse. Men who have resources have a much easier time getting a partner. Women who don’t have resources have more incentive to stay in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 10:06 PM
4

Women feel less validated by sex than men do because men settle for sex more. Men feel more validated by sex than women do because women settle for relationships more.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 09:25 PM
4

I still think that if you gave every man and woman each of these things, men overall would still want sex or relationships more than women do.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 09:10 PM
1

Lmao you’re one of the only women on this thread to acknowledge that some women enjoy casual arrangements and having more options
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 07:39 PM
1

You’re not the only one who feels that way, but not everyone feels that way. For a huge number of people, a fulfilling relationship is best, but casual sex and casual relationships can make the wait a lot less miserable.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 06:54 PM
1

Building up self-confidence when you have the feeling that you don’t fit the standard is hard. I hope you find the support you need.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 06:44 PM
3

Ugly women have it harder than you give them credit for. Things suck for ugly people across the board.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 06:40 PM
14

“And men and women often have different ideas about what companionship actually is.” This is a great point.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 06:18 PM
16

High effort comment
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 06:09 PM
2

ITT: People acting like long term relationships and celibacy are the only two options and single women don’t do FWB
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 05:50 PM
1

What does this have to do with the OP? No one asked for your opinion on this.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 05:41 PM
1

Singles who have less active libidos or easy access to casual sex are less likely to be dissatisfied with singlehood. inb4 “but women never want casual sex”
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 05:38 PM
13

“Women have easier time having kids on their own, they don't need to seek a surrogate mother. Plus, there are more single mothers than single fathers and a lot of them choose not to date seriously for various reasons.” This is a good point that I hadn’t thought about
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 04:27 PM
3

Less active libidos and easier validation More fear of abuse Women who want a partner might not comment because they don’t want others to think they’re a “pick me” Edit: The people saying that men have higher libidos and less attention and the people saying that men have less extensive social networks are both right. Even men who have the second problem covered can still be affected by the first problem, however.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 03:55 PM
1

Not a single person asked for your opinion on his autism, and autistics aren’t the only ones who have questions about these things. You’re not clever trying to hide your assholery behind “honesty.”
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 03:40 PM
2

Being unattractive is still worse. Unhappy unattractive people exist, but most people don’t pay attention to what’s going on with them, and they may have to settle.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 02:44 PM
1

You’re disgusting
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 02:36 PM
2

This comment is a yikes even by PPD standards
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 02:35 PM
2

I also think guys are less likely to care as much about being fetishized, but the BBC fetish in particular is brutal for black guys who aren’t above average sized
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 02:25 PM
2

You have a point, but I’d put her a bit above average even without makeup
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 06:42 PM
6

Your “average” lists are full of good looking people
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 06:27 PM
2

r/womenwritingmen
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 02:39 PM
2

True
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 07:48 AM
14

Interesting observation. Sarah Silverman is above average though
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 07:46 AM
4

Because not having friends is considered a sign of instability or weakness, and both of those things are considered more unattractive in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 07:43 AM
5

It’s because they don’t realize how much more women care about that than they do I’m not saying that it’s bad or good that women care more, it just is that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 05:21 AM
9

Kristen Stewart is hot
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 04:59 AM
3

Some celebrities who people think of as average were good looking young adults and then aged into something closer to average.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 04:47 AM
6

Slim
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 04:11 AM
20

Highly Attractive: - Zoe Kravitz - Henry Cavill Average: - Lena Dunham - Jonah Hill
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 04:07 AM
3

If you’re the guy in your profile pic, you’re well above average looking, and being 5’6 would hold you back much less than it might for some average looking short guys
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 03:41 AM
2

Are you the guy in your profile pic?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 03:34 AM
1

Does any of that make you right in your belief that needing a guide makes someone a lost cause? Inb4 adhominem
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 05:29 PM
1

Why was that? Your belief is still wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 05:24 PM
1

Your privileges “worked.” Your belief never worked and it never had to.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 05:11 PM
1

It’s easy to be satisfied with “you either have it or you don’t” when you didn’t need to have it to get the ball rolling.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 04:26 PM
1

Women don’t need any of those capabilities as much as men do to find someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 03:51 PM
2

“while most people would agree on who is and isn't attractive” “There's been studies that show men are much more "in agreement" on who they think is attractive than women are.” Both can be true. The fact that women disagree more than men doesn’t mean there’s low consensus among women about what is attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 03:09 PM
1

I agree that rejections are personal, but I disagree that they mean you have no value. Even good looking men and women get rejected.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 02:54 PM
1

You’re the definition of confidently wrong lol
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 06:23 PM
1

“The necessity of a second person reciprocating is still needed in the definition that you provided. Your own definition details the requirement of another person.” No it doesn’t. Just like love, you don’t need someone else to return the favor to have emotional availability.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 05:35 PM
1

Your chosen definition of emotional availability is flawed because it implies that it’s not something a person can have on their own. This is a better definition: “Emotional availability describes the ability to sustain emotional bonds in relationships.” A person can have this ability but still be attracted to someone who doesn’t have it. People are attracted to looks and personality before anything else, so it’s also possible that OP’s friends are emotionally available but not attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 04:54 PM
1

You’re hellbent on using wrong definition of emotional availability to suggest that OP has emotional availability problems just because he’s attracted to female friends who aren’t attracted to him. The problem may be looks or personality, not emotional availability.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 04:36 PM
2

You’re explaining the difference between secure and anxious attachment, not emotional availability and unavailability.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 02:15 PM
2

“You don't seem to know what emotional availability means. The definition is "Emotional availability (EA) refers to the ability of two people to share a healthy emotional connection". Why would emotional availability be dependent on two people being together? You’re saying that an unpartnered person can’t be emotionally available. “People with attachment issues aren't capable of having emotionally healthy connections. Which is why they have attachment issues. Anxious attachment isn't an indicati…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 01:21 PM
2

None of that is true. If you know anything about attachment theory, there are a lot of “anxiously attached” people who chase “dismissives avoidants.” And sometimes it’s just a matter of people chasing someone they like more than that person likes them because of looks or personality. OP probably is emotionally available but his female friends don’t find him attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 12:51 PM
2

If that’s how it was, there wouldn’t be any women complaining about emotionally unavailable men, because they’d just be dating their match in emotional availability. I’m not saying that OP is right about all women or that only women do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 11:41 AM
1

I don’t know about that. If you look at her other TikToks, it doesn’t look like she’s having all success either. Some of the guys are taken or not interested.
/r/AllPillDebate09/09/22 03:15 AM
2

Good for her honestly. People in here are hating on her for no good reason.
/r/AllPillDebate09/09/22 02:56 AM
2

His female friends probably are emotionally available and just don’t find him attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 02:09 AM
4

Only if she has some attraction to you already
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 11:05 PM
3

I don’t think it’s that complicated most of the time. If an average looking female student was sitting at lunch and a few attractive football players came over to befriend her, she might develop a crush. It probably wouldn’t matter what her friendships with other women were like.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 11:03 PM
1

I agree
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 09:27 PM
2

“I don’t think it’s necessarily emotionally distant men vs good communicators. I’d say women fuck level headed not needy men and put the needy weak minded men who need to talk on and on about their problems in the friend zone.” Not emotionally needy =/= level headed
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 07:28 PM
1

Fair enough
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 06:58 PM
3

“That seems rather wrong. All women that I've been close to were attracted to me because I was emotionally there for them.” My guess is that they found you at least mildly attractive beforehand and then your emotional availability added to that
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 06:55 PM
2

True
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 06:40 PM
4

You’re usually right, but sometimes the guy tries that and gets rejected because his looks or personality isn’t sexually attractive to the woman. That doesn’t mean he shouldn’t try.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 06:38 PM
9

Looks > Charisma > Emotional Vulnerability A few others on here have pointed out that you can be a good communicator without being emotionally available, so communication skills aren’t necessarily the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 06:34 PM
1

“The young men I know who are happy, focused, not looking for a relationship etc feel validated because of their accomplishments, they don't feel they need women wanting them to be someone because they are someone.” Are any of these men virgins or celibate?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 03:53 PM
1

Your insults are bad
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 05:25 AM
3

“You cannot teach unattractive men.“ Speaking from personal experience, this is bullshit. Your lack of interest in their plight does not determine what they’re capable of.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 02:27 PM
1

I wish I had a dollar for every time some stuck-up PPD guru handwaved off the effects of introversion and extroversion across the entire population. I’m an introvert with friends too. If someone already has trouble knowing how to form a social circle and find dates, introversion will not help. Introverts are less likely than extroverts to enjoy the kind of lifestyle that’s most conducive to making friends and finding dates. At least one study found that introverts are more likely to be single. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 06:47 AM
1

Extroverts are more likely to enjoy a lifestyle that lends itself to making lots of friends
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 07:07 PM
4

Lol yep
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:36 PM
14

I’ve also seen comments from men who are straight but temporarily switched their dating apps to “seeking men” just for the ego boost. Men are easier to attract.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:16 PM
1

Useless comment
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:02 PM
1

“If this an advice sub? No it’s a debate sub.” Read the room. OP clearly needs help and people look for advice here on the regular. That’s why some other people are responding with advice. “There’s it, yet that seems to be far too much to ask to the point where they get aggressively combative at the mere suggestion of it. (Hint: this is exactly what you’re doing.)” Have you forgotten that we’re on a thread under my own comment where I tell OP that making friends is good and meeting women is poss…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 08:58 PM
1

“why do you think anyone here should try to convince you?” “No u” “Guys like you or OP should care because you're the ones who would benefit from this whole argument. Still doesn't care? No one's losing anything but you. lol” More dumb assumptions that I’m in OP’s position. I have friends and I know how to make more. If you can read, you’ll see that I said at the top of the thread that making friends is good advice. “Sure, what leads to the inevitable conclusion that if making friends doesn't ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 08:50 PM
2

“I’m not here to coddle out hold anyone’s hand. Especially when it’s always the same thing with the men in here.” There’s a difference between “not coddling” and your whining about OP’s audacity to think that making friends is hard. Lots of men and women outside this sub have found it hard to make friends in their mid twenties and beyond. No one cares or benefits from how easy you think it is. “Absolute refusal to acknowledge there’s anything they can do for themselves to make their life and sit…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 08:43 PM
1

Strawman
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 08:31 PM
0

“Introverted =/= antisocial. Introverts actually DO like being social and being around people. They just needs quiet alone time to recharge. Where extroverts recharge by being social.” “What a lot of people done realize (our maybe refuse to accept) is that what they are describing isn’t being an introvert. It’s having an anxiety disorder.” I’m an introvert with a social life, so thanks for educating me about my own life. /s You can’t see why getting tired of social interaction faster makes it ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 08:12 PM
24

“I stopped reading when they claimed it’s “soo hard to meet new people once you reach the age of 25”. Good lord I am just baffled how anybody can believe that.” So? Why should I care if you think it’s not hard? It is hard if you’re introverted and not already good at it. “Oh and before any of the guys in here try with the “BuT YoU’rE a WoMaN! It’s easy for you!” Excuse, I’m trans. I have to deal with that elephant in the room every single time I meet someone new.” I’ve seen transmen and transwom…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 07:41 PM
1

“Does it take you significant effort to realize things?” “If you are so desperate that you're willing to date anything, then I really don't think we can take your "would I date myself" opinion seriously. Does that not make sense?” This is adhominem crap. I stand by what I said. Women have higher standards, so men shouldn’t think they’re in the clear just because they pass the “would you date you” test.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 05:42 PM
5

Yep, it can open a lot of doors
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 05:39 PM
1

“It's not low effort. I took a lot of time typing it out to get it just right.” It would have been higher effort to take a moment and realize that the comment you thought up adds nothing to the thread. “The point is, saying men will date this or that doesn't mean anything. Men have incredibly low standards across the board.” Yes and? The commenter I replied to said these friendless men are failing the would you date yourself test and I said they’re probably not. Women just have higher standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 05:32 PM
1

What was the point of posting this low-effort comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 05:21 PM
1

When did I say that I don’t have a social circle? I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 05:11 PM
5

I don’t know which gender understands more overall, but women are taught more of the key things they need to attract a partner. Men are taught less of those things. For example, a woman might know that looks matter a lot to men without knowing very much about the depths of men’s minds. A man who tries to study the depths of women’s minds may still be misled to believe that looks don’t matter to women as much as they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 05:07 PM
11

“Meeting a woman without a social circle, would be so weird as to be offputting.” You’re a clubbing enthusiast who probably hangs out with men and women who are like you. “I've never even met a woman, who doesn't have a big social circle.” Women without big social circles are rarer than men like that, but they would have an easier time finding a partner than a man would. “Women bond instantly, they can walk past each other in the mall, notice they're both carrying the same handbag, and go to lun…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 04:39 PM
3

For women, those complaints typically happen in the context of feminist discussion. There’s also FDS, but that’s relatively new.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 04:25 PM
2

ITT: kicking OP while he’s down
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 04:14 PM
23

More men would date a woman who doesn’t have a social circle compared to the reverse. Men have to meet the standards of the women they want regardless of what they would do.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 04:09 PM
95

I don’t think it’s outdated. It’s not an instant fix but it’s good advice. Socially connected friends can introduce you to more women or invite you to settings where there will be women Women are even more likely than men to be turned off if you don’t have friends Women will think more highly of you if you have a group with you, especially if there are other women in that group As for the “it’s all looks” thing, not all women can get the hottest guy, and some of them will like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 04:07 PM
2

I think you’re defining “not personal” as “not necessarily reflective of your value.” I agree with that, but I don’t think that’s what “not personal” means. Some rejections aren’t personal, but rejection can be personal and still not reflect the value you would have to someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 01:49 PM
2

“People seem to forget, with the rise of single men, there is also a rise in single women, yet we don’t here them complaining so what’s the actual issue with these men then” What? That’s not true lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 01:45 PM
2

People lie, hide and exaggerate with their pictures too though lol. I take it all into account.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 02:15 AM
13

I disagree. Rejection is personal very often, but we have to suck it up and find someone who’s into us. I also don’t get the “if they don’t want you, you don’t really want them” thing. Ideally they would be into you. They aren’t, so all that’s left to do is move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 01:19 AM
1

“Very little =/= can't learn anything.” “You have an issue with making things black-and-white, distorting what was said.” I’ll grant you that I could have paraphrased you better, but I already established that I think a bio can tell you a lot about a person, so I think your argument is wrong either way. “Bios do have info. But it tends to be superficial fluff, or distorted by how they want you to perceive them, and you miss the layers of detail you can read about someone's character in person.” …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 12:10 AM
2

That’s true. I’m just saying that the high importance of looks on dating apps isn’t just due to weak photo quality or the limitations of bios. Good photos and bios can tell you a lot about a person and make a significant difference, but looks still have even greater impact. That doesn’t mean people who haven’t tried working on their photos or bios should give up instead of trying.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 09:19 PM
2

I disagree that you can’t learn anything important from bios. Some people put work into them, and profiles can include info like politics, age, education, religion, and more. But I do think interesting photos help more than an interesting bio. looks > photo quality > bio
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 09:14 PM
6

Do you think an ugly short guy with interesting pictures is going to get anywhere near as many likes as a hot tall guy with mediocre pictures?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 06:11 PM
5

I disagree. You can read a lot of information about someone on a dating app, even more than you get before approaching in real life. It’s just that looks are by far the most important factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 03:39 PM
3

And 4 of the remaining 5% is your job and education level
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 03:36 PM
4

As long as they’re cognizant of my boundaries and willing to accept my rejection without being weird about it, it’s up to them. I’d rather not get approached by people I’m not interested in, but as long as they’re nice, I commend them for having the guts to try, and sometimes it feels good to be noticed.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 10:03 PM
4

For both sexes, attracting men is probably easier than attracting women
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 07:01 PM
1

If that’s what you mean, then say that. You can’t just write whatever and then claim it doesn’t actually mean what it says
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 03:26 PM
1

Your generalizations are just a crappy version of whatever you mean to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 09:06 PM
2

I disagreed with that comment but I disagree with this take too. Nothing is more of a threat than the threat being directed at you. For some people that threat is a man. For others that threat is a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 02:38 PM
1

Yeah that’s all true, but none of that makes it also true to say it’s impossible for women to be threats. Do you see what I’m saying? Is it non-threatening if someone you’re dating says they’ll kill theirself or they’ll say you raped them if you leave? I’m not saying that this is common, but saying that all women pose absolutely zero threat is just wrong. Women and men should be advised to be careful about unstable people.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 02:22 PM
7

“The same way a woman saying “I know how to cook Kraft mac and cheese and I will clean the house once a week” means the bar is quite low.” Honestly, I don’t see this having a significant effect on a woman’s dating life either lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 01:24 PM
1

“There’s a difference between what you’re saying and what he said. Women as a group are not a threat to men. Men as a group can be a threat to women. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t murderous women and that a majority of men aren’t ok.” If the answer is that not all but some can be threats, then how does your distinction make sense? Saying that a whole group is not a threat is wrong from the start because it assumes that “are they all threats or are none of them threats?” is the right way to…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 01:01 PM
3

Of course!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 12:51 PM
6

I wasn’t saying anything different. Most women I’ve encountered will not do those things, and I don’t have negative view of women as a whole, but saying that no women can be a threat in any way is plain stupid. I’m not some misogynist redpiller saying that women are bad and men are good. I’m saying that there is a minority of women who can pose a threat to others despite the stereotypes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 06:12 AM
9

“And even when women are assholes, it doesn't come out the same because women have much different expectations and conventions.” Ah yes, every single woman follows those conventions you imagine to the letter
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 06:08 AM
18

“Because they were male.” No, it’s because they were an asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 04:10 AM
5

Your personal feelings are not facts
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:42 AM
3

You’re dodging and your original statement that women cannot be threats too is wrong
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:39 AM
8

You must not believe in weapons, poisoning, mental abuse, blackmail or lying. There are ways that an unstable person can pose a threat without throwing a punch.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:32 AM
1

Among other reasons, fighting skills are more valued in cultures where people believe that conflict may turn violent.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:23 AM
12

“They are, however, not a threat, no matter how much people insist otherwise” This is a ridiculous opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:15 AM
21

Have a lean body. Don’t be fat or too skinny Wear clothes that make you look good Have a cool hairstyle if you aren’t bald Become charismatic Have good pictures on dating apps
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:00 AM
2

That would make him even more lucky haha
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 02:21 PM
2

It depends on their preferences. There are some women and men in this thread who’ve said they’d rather have women’s social advantages even if they lost out on men’s safety advantages, and some have said that they’d prefer men’s safety advantages over women’s social advantages.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 01:26 PM
2

For some guys, “6/10” is the hot crush they can’t get lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 11:13 AM
2

That’s a lot of my reasoning for why hot men have it the best overall, but I’m hesitant to say “and it’s not even close” because there are areas where hot women have it better. For some people who are struggling financially or socially awkward, it might even be better to be a hot woman (edit: compared to being a hot man)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 10:54 AM
3

Your husband is a lucky man
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 05:12 AM
2

Yeah, it must be nice, and I have no idea what that’s like lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 05:08 AM
2

Only for those who aren’t that way naturally and set their aim at that level. I don’t blame them for wanting to do that. Most people aren’t naturally pretty like the lucky minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 04:59 AM
5

“I guess I envy guys because then the power of initiation would be in my hands, because for guys, you only get it if you’re actively seeking it.” If you were a hot guy you’d probably have a few women initiating with you haha. For the rest of us, initiation is a necessity rather than a male power, and rejection tends to follow until we luck out with someone. I agree that it is a benefit to rarely be cornered by someone you’re uninterested in though. “In terms of OLD attention, definitely not. Bac…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 04:48 AM
3

I agree. If you’re hot and you have it all, it’s better to be a man. If you don’t, it’s not so straightfoward.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 04:16 AM
2

Interesting. What makes you say that hot guys have it so much better than hot women that it’s not even close? I’m not disagreeing or agreeing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 02:22 AM
2

In regards to the single mothers, some are good and some are bad, but I also think a lot of them are already in environments that don’t lend themselves well to raising children. If a single mother is poor, she may have a hard time living outside of neighborhoods that will expose the kids to bad stuff even if she’s a good mother. Many children of single mothers also have deadbeat or abusive fathers who deserve blame.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 02:20 AM
1

The odds are arguably low, but having to be on guard just in case it happens would suck
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 02:11 AM
2

It might not happen, but women have to look out for themselves to make sure it doesn’t happen much more often. Even if she doesn’t get killed, other bad stuff can happen. Men are more likely to be attacked by a stranger, but a lot of the violence that women experience is done by people who knew the victim beforehand.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 01:22 AM
8

Attractive people are still a mile ahead of everyone else
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 01:21 AM
4

I agree that men have advantages, but I don’t think these are the best examples of them. “Man approaches a woman he likes assertive Woman approaches man desperate” Successful approaches are mostly about how attractive you are. “Woman wants attractive man shallow and picky Man wants attractive woman thats just his preference” This doesn’t change the amount of options they have. “Single woman over 30 bitter hag Single man over 30 "distinguished bachelor"” This also depends on how successful and at…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 01:20 AM
2

Men have disadvantages but we also have safety advantages and can’t get pregnant
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 01:03 AM
4

“I’m a little envious of men because if they decide to gtow in life and give up on dating they aren’t constantly told it’s a phase or that they will change their mind when the right woman comes along.” This depends on who you’re around. “In fact men don’t have to explain their dating status to anyone at all they can just do their own thing and people respect that.” This works for successful men. Unsuccessful men who don’t get any action are considered losers by women and men. “Men are taken more…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 12:59 AM
49

Very attractive men have it the best overall imo
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 12:44 AM
7

I disagree. There are some guys who prefer to have a harder chase, but I think that if a guy loses interest after an easy chase, it’s usually because he wasn’t that into the woman anyway and he just realized it. Women make the chase easiest for men who are very attractive to them, but the man may or may not not be equally interested. However, it is possible to come on too strong. Lots of men and women get scared off if someone comes at them with a “marry me now” vibe instead of just expressing i…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 09:32 PM
4

Gender roles today aren’t the same as gender roles a hundred years ago. A century ago women also were not regarded as equal under the law and abuse was much more socially accepted.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 07:02 PM
2

Like others have said, it depends on how well your traits and personality line up with what’s expected of you. I also think it depends on how much you’re appreciated for doing that role.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 06:55 PM
4

I’m not discounting the abuse many women face, but this isn’t an answer to the OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 06:55 PM
1

Lots of women criticize or hate men for their physical standards and men try to change themselves for women all the time. It goes both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 04:10 PM
9

These are modest requirements imo
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 01:40 PM
1

Like I said: women who are hot and make themselves visible and available are going to get the most attention. Women who are less hot and seem closed off from men will get less attention. Lots of introverted women are hot, fun and interesting, but if they’re hidden away at home or sitting coldly in the corner, it shouldn’t be a surprise that extrovert girl gets more attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 03:30 AM
1

Ok? We could loop this all day. I already said there are some types of men who aren’t into introverted women, but you’re wrong to say that all of us aren’t into introverted women. You think you’re an expert on men because you heard some conversations.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 03:14 AM
1

See my last comment
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 03:11 AM
16

Some people will always be upset, but there’s a difference between honesty and brutal honesty. Dishonesty: “I don’t date short guys because short guys are so insecure and mean to women. If short guys weren’t so insecure and mean, I wouldn’t care about their height. Women don’t care about height, men make it a big deal” Honesty: “I prefer taller guys” Brutal honesty: insults short guys
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 03:03 AM
1

Fair enough, but you’re not a man and your views of men are obviously based on a fraction of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 02:40 AM
1

Are you a bitter shy woman who never made a move and happens to have a male avatar?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 11:32 PM
3

“Thought it was interesting since most men have a huge hang up about women “not paying their way” but when they come across a successful, wealthy woman, they’re not quite happy with that either.” There are lots of double binds like this in dating. If a guy is ugly, most women won’t want to date him because he’s unattractive. If a guy is way better looking than the woman, some women won’t want to date him because they think he’s going to cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/22 11:32 PM
1

“I'm a woman.” I know. “I'm saying that you're ignorant if you are taking what you see on this platform as your only source.” I’m not. “And speaking as a woman, I think I know women as a whole better than you ever will or can.” There are billions of women with different opinions and you’re only one of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 10:16 PM
5

Nice try. Minus my exact quotes of your rantings, my comment would have been be shorter than your last comment. You do care. Bye.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 05:50 PM
5

“That’s right. I don’t care to teach a man how to not be sexually useless. I don’t care about how everyday men on here show just how sexually useless they are. From crying about casual sex but also telling women to expect first time sex with them to suck. To saying they literally get ghosted after every sexual encounter. Jesus Christ how terrible can you be. To saying women don’t enjoy sex or use sex for things. If women are using sex to get something out of you other than great sex it’s because…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 05:21 PM
1

“I'm so sorry. I have read, talked with, or interacted in some way with hundreds/thousands women outside of one single post on reddit. If this is everything to you, just realize it's a very limited source.” If you think women like that only exist on Reddit, you’re naïve. You’re not a man who dates women in real life and you only acknowledge women who are victims. I know that there’s a lot of men who don’t try enough, but there’s more out there than what you like to acknowledge.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 05:11 PM
4

“And I’m talking specifically about the men on PPD who continuously display their sexual ineptness with every post.” You’re using one or two assholes to tar all the other men who have valid complaints and criticisms. In one of your other comments, you show that you don’t actually care if any of these men has an interest in improving anyway: “If I had to teach a guy, that’s an immediate turnoff.“
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 04:48 PM
1

Men should go back to saving themselves for marriage like all women are doing these days. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 01:46 PM
2

Fair point, you’re right about desire. There are some guys who aren’t very dominant but are willing to pretend because most women like it, but some other guys reallly don’t want to do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 01:12 PM
0

“Women are beaten down (sometimes literally) to just submit and take whatever they get... But... If men would get over themselves and just listen to instruction on what she likes and wants and then give that to her, he'd eventually be the best lover for her.” These women don’t sound beaten down to me “having to "teach" a man would be a massive turnoff to me and immediately wreck sex” “i only had sex a second time with men who were really great in bed immediately, i have no interest in instructin…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 04:14 AM
1

“Also I think I’m most compatible with someone passionate, experimental, and dominant in bed. I’m not sure if that can be taught either.” I think it can be taught, but as evidenced by some of the answers in this thread, many women are very turned off by having to teach a man to be those things, and they just want a man who has it down beforehand. And of course the guy has to be willing to learn if given the opportunity.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 04:04 AM
1

This comment is the sugarcoated version of this answer
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 06:22 PM
2

Probably, but not all women want to teach or know how to teach any given man, and not all men want to be taught by any given woman. Some men will “get it” faster than others or will be given more lenience and opportunities to learn.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 06:01 PM
1

Wha? “Reality is that men are dangerous, and they would be useless if not capable of violence, we are born with the instinct to fight and conquer” Speak for yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 01:14 AM
1

That’s a fair point. I went too far in saying that there are no practical reasons even though the importance that our biology places on those things is excessive for our times.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 09:01 PM
3

Dating isn’t fair for men or women, and the reasons for people’s choices are not all practical. There’s no practical reason why modern women lust for tall men or modern men lust for big-boobed women. There’s no fairness in abusers and deadbeats being able to hop from partner to partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 07:55 PM
15

Dating has never been fair for men or women, and the people who said that it’s fair were deluded or lying. Men and women’s outcomes are significantly influenced by the traits they were born with. Some men and women get to be hot and rich while others get to be ugly and poor.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 07:28 PM
6

“1. They don’t ask in good faith - the guy that wants a big titty goth fuckbuddy won’t come out and just say so. Instead it’s softer questions wrapped in euphemisms like “what do women want in a man?” or some other chickenshit way to phrase vaguely and get bad answers from misunderstanding women. If a man says “How do I get women to wanna fuck me casually?” He will get better advice from women, or more likely a “I don’t know because I don’t casual fuck like that 🤷🏾‍♀️” It’s not always bad faith.…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 04:37 PM
2

Why humor someone who thinks that (men, not women I bet) looking for casual sex is synonymous with lying, bullying and cheating? They’re deranged.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 04:33 PM
39

This man sounds insane
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/22 06:28 AM
12

r/WomenWritingMen (the counterpart to r/MenWritingWomen)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/22 01:19 PM
1

I don’t know if he’s saying that tallness and dominance are correlated or if he’s saying that they’re separate but the tallness just complements the image he wants when combined with dominance. He knows that women like this are rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 08:16 PM
1

There are two issues mentioned in the OP and I think one of them applies to you. OP is a short man and you’re a tall woman. Tall women and short men are sometimes thought of as less feminine or masculine respectively. OP’s other issue is that he has a submissive personality and wants a dominant, stronger woman who is not necessarily, but ideally tall too. He basically wants what a lot of women want, but with genders reversed. There’s nothing wrong with that, but between his own size, his persona…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 07:49 PM
1

Another way to put it is that men are fooled into thinking that the way they look isn’t the most important thing about them to most people. Women are beaten over the head with this more frequently. There’s more awareness of this on both sides in younger generations.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 07:35 PM
4

Do you live in a nunnery or something lol?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 12:07 AM
0

“Yeah, no you're parsing hairs lol. You started out feeling confident because that study said 60%, now you're going to have to back it down from even that. So how many is "lots" bro? Fifteen percent of women? Thirty? If ten percent of women like domineering males, you gonna strut around and claim you've been right all along? Because my position is that it's less than half and if you've gotta shave out the fantasy from 60% your side's not looking so good.” You would save us both so much time if y…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 10:51 PM
0

“And given you referenced the 60%, it would appear you're saying that ALL the women who fantasize want a domineering asshole in real life.” How many times do I have to tell you: I said “lots” of women, and I never said all, no matter how many times you’ve pretended that I said all or most. The study gives an indication that a lot of women are into sexual dominance. Sexual dominance doesn’t necessarily mean being an asshole “It doesn't matter whether you care. This is a debate sub and you're taki…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 09:39 PM
1

“Little buddy, imma need you to go back and look at your own link again. I didn't inject the word "fantasy" into the conversation, it's in the link.” Read what I said more closely. You were saying that none of the women who fantasize about being sexually dominated actually want that kind of sex in real life. I think that’s just wishful thinking on your part, and for many women like that, it’s not just something they enjoy in the abstract. “Nice guys vs assholes is almost all redpill ever talks a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 06:57 PM
0

“I'm an avid reader of romance novels who participates in spaces dedicated to the discussion of said novels. I'm more than aware of what women fantasize about.” “What women fantasize about and what they enjoy happening to their actual bodies are two very different things. Do you have any idea how popular monster/cartel fantasy novels are? Now, put your thinking cap on and guess how many of those women would actually like to be kidnapped by a mob or a cartel?” “There's that word again. Fantasized…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 02:15 PM
0

“Oh, so exactly the same thing I said like two or three comments up. Quaint.” I said lots from the beginning, and you kept acting like I said most or all. Interesting how you didn’t mention the article I linked you after you said I needed to do just that. “I didn't say only redpillers say it. It's a common fantasy/belief for men outside the manosphere too. So is the whole "wah women don't like nice men" bit. In this sub, a debate sub, that position is typically taken up by RPers so I framed it a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 09:08 PM
0

“Were you ready to back up your ridiculous statement with something other than typical redpill man/woman myths? No? Okay then.” https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/11/03/study-up-to-60-percent-of-women-fantasize-about-being-dominated/ Keep in mind, I only said “lots of women,” not even “most.” “The entire nice guys/asshole song and dance this sub goes through, constantly whining about women preferring assholes is repeatedly refuted by nearly every women's sub in existence.” O…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 08:16 PM
3

By “platonic,” do you mean that there was no attraction beforehand or just no sex yet?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 07:53 PM
0

If you disagree with my saying “lots of women prefer big sexually dominant men,” then you must believe that very few or no women prefer big sexually dominant men. Are you ready to back that up? “Edit - also I'm not sure why you jumped to just d/s. The sub I was referencing was explicitly misogynistic.” Because you tried to use a hyperspecific example of a misogynistic reddit sub to say all sexually dominant men are pedophiles.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 07:04 PM
2

It’s when someone has a friend who they wouldn’t date or have sex with.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 06:52 PM
1

The manosphere is wrong about that. It doesn’t matter what they say is supposed to be innate to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 06:42 PM
0

“ITS GOOD THAT YOUR DATING POOL IS LIMITED IN THIS WAY!!! Isn’t that the point? To narrow the dating pool to your liking? The way I see it, a smaller pool means less BS to wade through.” By that metric, very ugly people have it easier than OP and everyone else. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 06:38 PM
2

“Sorry if it’s harsh but if you’re not getting the attention you want, it’s probably not because you’re feminine, but because you’re not taking care of your appearance as you should.” You can take care of your appearance without having the best style you could possibly have. OP probably needs a change in style. Also, Timothee Chalamet (5’10) and Jamie Campbell Bower (6’) are good looking, famous actors, and as far as I know they don’t have a strong preference for larger, dominant, physically str…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 06:25 PM
0

Dom/sub isn’t inherently misogynistic. You’re seeing everything through the prism of the most extreme stuff you observe on reddit. In real life, lots of women prefer big sexually dominant men and find it unappealing if a man isn’t big or sexually dominant at all. Some men even pretend to be more dominant because they find that many women prefer it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 06:04 PM
0

It’s only bad to you if the men they want it from also want it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 05:26 PM
2

No worries
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 05:00 PM
0

Your answer is pure conjecture. Lots of women who are at least in their 20s are into being dominated and handled by a bigger, stronger man. I agree that OP shouldn’t feel bad about himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 04:57 PM
1

Oh no I’m not saying that he should fake a sexual orientation. I’m saying that his situation is arguably even more rare than being LGBTQ+, but I like your point about rare not meaning bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 04:44 PM
2

Don’t think of it as something that needs to be “fixed.” You’re just not conventional. Lots of guys aren’t dominant but are faking it or acting more dominant than they really are to maximize their reach with women. Not all women need a dominant guy, it’s just a common preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 04:26 PM
3

I suggest: Find some guys like you on TikTok who are doing ok and see what worked for them Go for a glam style that gives women an idea that you’re not into being a typically masculine guy Make a dating app profile that gives the impression that you’re proud of your preference for dominant, strong women. Don’t hide it Look for events and communities where there’s a higher number of unconventional women. Be ready to make the first move What you want is rare but not impossible. Also, remind yourse…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 04:23 PM
3

Oh I believe you. I’m just saying to the top commenter that your situation is different and arguably even rarer than being queer. But he did raise a good point that LGBTQ+ people are an example of how being in the minority doesn’t mean you’re flawed.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 03:28 PM
3

“So the basis for your argument is 2 fold as I see it. Firstly, that the rarity of your tastes means there must be something wrong with it. I think this is so wrong, my first instinct is to tear into you for it, but I won't, because I think what's happening is a very easy to fall into trick of self doubt. There are people of much more marginalized and hated identities than yours that are completely valid. The LGBTQ+ community would like a word here.” As a straight guy, the LGBTQ+ scene seems les…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 03:07 PM
1

This. Lots of strong women want the other half of power couple or a guy who “lets her be feminine” by being more dominant than she is.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 03:15 AM
2

There’s a difference between being a man who isn’t traditionally masculine, wants to learn how to fake being masculine, and likes feminine women, and being a short, submissive man who doesn’t want to dominate sexually and prefers dominant, physically strong women. Not all women who want to wear the pants want to do it with a short guy and many strong women want an equally strong/large or stronger/larger man. OP isn’t flawed, but he’s in an especially difficult position.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 10:05 PM
3

Maybe you could go on a dating app and say you prefer strong, dominant women in your bio. Hopefully a unicorn will bite.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 08:02 PM
9

They’re not flawed, they’re just less gender-conforming and less desired by most women.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 07:48 PM
4

I’m a man and this is just wrong lol. Lots of people do shitty stuff, women and men. But not all of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 07:06 PM
1

“All he’s seeing is the beauty. The way straight male sexuality is set up, not only is it hyper-visual, but not to be crude, she doesn’t have to do anything but be pretty and lay there and he could theoretically get off.” You touched on this later in your OP, but in your example, part of the reason she could “lay there” is that women aren’t expected to take an active role and be good at sex as often as a man would be. Both women and men commonly scrutinize awkward, insecure, or inassertive men m…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 05:39 PM
3

Preach
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 09:01 PM
1

“The result is still the same regardless the reason I used that comparison though is because when you take their base physical characteristics into account. There’s not much difference. The “hot” girl just wears more revealing or form fitting clothing and puts more effort and time into makeup and hair styling. While the plain girl male dress more conservative/basic and not have such advanced makeup and hair styling skills.” There are shy and introverted women who put effort into looking attracti…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 01:33 PM
3

Dating can be hard for both sexes, but I think people take for granted how lots of men date. Men are less likely to be passive and picky about who they date, and people who are passive and picky will have a harder time finding a relationship than they would otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 06:49 PM
1

If he did that then I agree. I looked him up and seems really shitty anyway
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 02:59 PM
5

“Insecure” also gets thrown around a lot to dismiss people. Maybe Tate actually is insecure, but it’s also really common to see people in comment sections using “insecure” in ways that aren’t really neutral.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 03:40 PM
1

People tend to have an emotional response to insults, yes. I don’t know much about Andrew Tate and he doesn’t sound like someone I would like, so this is not a defense of him.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 03:10 PM
3

It sounds like these men were high-status party boys who wanted women who were offering casual sex. I don’t blame you for not wanting them now.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 07:13 PM
3

You lucky guy haha. I’m happy for you man. And good for her for sending the signal.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 06:55 PM
4

Did your appearance or sociability on and offline change over that time period? What were the guys who started asking you out like? (Sorry that someone attempted to rape you by the way, that’s awful)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:25 PM
2

Lmao exactly. How many shy guys are thinking this: “That girl seems really deep into her book and has a frown on her face. She must want to be approached.” Guys who think that way get mocked online all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:10 PM
3

Sad but probably true
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 03:14 PM
1

Off the top of my head, these instances come to mind: A woman is dating or sleeping with a guy and they haven’t considered kids. She gets pregnant. She tells him she’s pregnant and says she’s going to keep it but he didn’t want to have a kid with her. He threatens her. A cheating guy’s mistress gets pregnant and says she’s going to keep the baby and possibly tell his main partner. He threatens her. I’ve only seen this in movies and things like that but it sounds plausible.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 03:07 PM
7

Let’s delve into these two types you described: Hot Extroverted Girl Plain Shy Girl 1) First off, hot people have a leg up on plain looking people across the board. Hot Extroverted Girl vs Hot Shy Girl or Plain Extroverted Girl vs Plain Shy Girl would be better comparisons. 2) Extroverts are often better at making people feel welcome to talk to them, sometimes by starting the conversation themselves. They also showcase their personalities while the shy person might not. Men, and especially shy m…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 01:26 PM
1

That’s a shame
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 12:37 PM
1

Interesting. Is there more to her persona than just the looks that your nerdy friends found intimidating?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 02:48 AM
1

That’s a fair concern. I’ve seen other attractive women and men say that being very attractive has put a strain on their ability to make and keep same-sex friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 09:24 PM
1

“Looks aren't everything but damn, I grew up around beautiful people. I'd consider myself to be good looking. I'm still honestly attracted to some slightly average people but honestly even the guys I'm thinking of and have dated are all probably above average. Even the ones I'm thinking of as being "more average"... they're all above average in at least 1-2 major things.” Yeah, looks aren’t everything but they’re probably the most important thing. “So yeah, maybe it's just how things go? People …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 08:50 PM
1

This. Attractive people have the cheat code if they’re willing to advocate for themselves like less attractive people have to do for less payoff.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 08:47 PM
1

I agree
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 08:33 PM
1

Does she only date passively?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 08:32 PM
1

Isn’t it biologically less difficult for the average man to bear children in old age? I’m not gloating or anything, but I thought that was the common understanding of why it’s harder for women who want to have kids much later in life. Lots of men don’t want to be old dads, but even men who wouldn’t mind it and don’t take part in childcare would be singing a different tune if they believed that they would be biologically unable to have children in middle age. Men also don’t have to go through pre…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 08:08 PM
4

Having to be the sex with the burden of reproduction
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 07:58 PM
1

That first one is something I hadn’t considered. Very good point.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 07:56 PM
5

This
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 07:44 PM
2

“Let me offer another perspective: being "beautiful" as a woman may also draw in more narcissistic men.” “You have to be extra, extra picky about morals/character in a partner when you're actually beautiful.” True “I genuinely think women who are average or slightly above average have it easiest in finding a partner, particularly if they find their partner while young.“ Average women and men have it easiest finding partners who more attractive people could probably get even more easily but don’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 05:24 PM
1

“Women compliment men, but it’s risky. Men will fuckzone or girlfriendzone a woman who compliments them. And you know why.” Huh? What do I know? Do you agree with the main point of my response to SaltMathematician? Men, straight and gay, are just more interested in everyone than women are, and objectification of women plays only a small part in why men get less attention from women. Women are much less restrained about complimenting men who they’re attracted to because they don’t mind it being i…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 04:48 PM
1

Ok, that’s fair, I didn’t give it enough thought. It is related and I think this would be marginally helpful by making it easier for women to compliment men. But I think that there will always be a few guys who fuck it up for the rest of us by being aggressive and that women are more selective from the start. Not all of the additional attention that women get is due to objectification. An example of this is when a woman compliments a guy she’s not interested in and he interprets it as interest s…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 02:53 PM
10

Being beautiful isn’t an automatic victory for men or women because they can still fail or have bad things happen to them. For both sexes, being beautiful is a massive advantage that typically makes victory easier to get.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 02:32 PM
3

I could see some conservative guys feeling that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 01:25 PM
5

No offense, but I don’t think that issue is related to the OP. Men are just more interested, period. Gay men are more interested in men than women are too. Many women also objectify men who are good looking, tall, or well endowed, but most men aren’t attractive enough to women for those women to objectify them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 01:20 PM
2

That’s a huge generalization.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 01:06 PM
3

Thank you
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 12:52 PM
5

“I’ve always initiated and asked every man out, but I agree this is true. My solution was to make sure the interest was mutual first, then just say “We should go for a hike on that new trail/see that band next week/I’ll teach you how to paddle a kayak or something completely informal. It’s easy to ask someone to join you for a casual activity, but I doubt I’d ever attempt a proper date to a restaurant. Men don’t like role reversal much. Show too much interest and you’re a slut.” How do you know …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 12:50 PM
4

“I don't think women should initiate more, it's good if it feels genuine for them to do so but do it to the wrong guy and he spins you, the reason women are so vague about interest is also because it can be used against them, women being physically weaker gives them a disadvantage for when they are roped in.” Some people say (unattractive) men shouldn’t approach women so much for the same reason lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 12:44 PM
1

“There are women who do like men who are more feminine (k pop and boy bands anyone?). Just like there are women who will marry a man who makes less and isn’t career oriented, who date men who aren’t athletic, and so on. The problem with men in the pillosphere is they’re repulsed by these women. They want an Uber feminine Uber traditional woman who wants feminine man. Not likely.” I don’t think it’s this much of a slam dunk. Women don’t all have the same preferences, but a lot of women who enjoy …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 04:09 AM
1

I can’t read the comments above these since they’ve been deleted so I’ll leave it at that
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 03:09 AM
1

It’s much more socially accepted for women to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 02:45 AM
1

I don’t know what internet you’re on if you think there aren’t any women who are bitter about being treated according to their looks on social media too lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 02:12 AM
1

hemaristhysbe & compulsively going off topic to say “men bad” just one more time…name a worse duo
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 12:06 AM
2

I’ve seen the reverse happen too. It happens with men more often, but I still don’t think it works as consistently as having an attractive face and height. The ugly guy you fell for probably got passed over by lots of women before he lucked out with his gf.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 07:08 PM
2

With women in their attractiveness range most of all. For men, a good face and height are more helpful than being fit and having a personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 06:28 PM
2

Fair point, but the face has a major effect on the “ceiling” for both sexes. Just about anyone can make themselves unattractive by becoming fat enough. I also think a lot of women with options would just reject the average fit guy and the handsome fat guy all in one lol. Men have a better chance of making up for their face even if the face is probably the most important thing for men too.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 05:56 PM
1

Being chosen is way better than paying for it
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 05:55 PM
1

If you want a partner and sex, none of those things make up for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 05:53 PM
1

The face is #1 for both sexes imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 05:48 PM
1

“In this day age it’s never been easier to up your game and outshine most men in your vicinity.“ What makes you think that?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 02:38 AM
2

Attractive people will probably say looks because they’re typically rejected for not fitting a type, not their actual attractiveness. They’ll always have enough attractive people who think they’re attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 11:32 PM
1

Oof, this puts it in perspective. Good job for coming out on top in getting the job haha
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 09:49 PM
1

I never would have guessed that job makes only 60k. That’s more than a lot of people make, so it’s not bad, but I assumed it would be higher given the complexity and cool factor haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 09:21 PM
7

To be clear, no one “deserves” a certain kind of partner, but I think there’s a difference between “high standards” and “low standards in an unfavorable market.” If a slim, employed woman lived in a town where almost every man was overweight, unemployed, and getting lots of dates anyway, and she wanted a man who was slim and employed, I wouldn’t think of her standards as high. The local market just doesn’t favor her standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 01:10 PM
1

Excellent point
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 01:04 AM
1

I’ve seen some people respond to generalizations of women with “not all women.” I’ve also seen it less than “not all men,” but I disagree with you about why that is. Outside of this sub, if a man calls all women wicked, the people who disagree probably wouldn’t bother saying “not all women.” They would understand that he’s just a misogynist, so the things says wouldn’t be considered valid discourse that needs to be debated and they would probably focus more on the fact that he’s a misogynist. Ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 03:00 PM
3

“Men are indeed wicked. They are generally more sociopathic and apathetic compared to the female gender. Problem is society never holds them accountable or to the same moral standards as women. Women are vilified while men are infantilized. Can't name a single place in this world where men don't have cheerleaders screaming "its not all men" to death.” It’s just the truth that it’s not all men lol. If you think otherwise you’re delusional, and your point of view on this doesn’t deserve to be humo…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 01:05 AM
4

Think about the types of women who are most likely to post on this sub. Many of them are good looking and have received validation to an extent that many other women don’t. They’re typically educated and well-off financially. Some of them seem to have lower libidos. Some of them are angry at the angry men who frequent this sub or angry about some men in their past. On social media these days, saying that you hate men or don’t need them is cool. This is especially easy to say for women who have t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 12:46 AM
1

Fair enough haha
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 12:03 AM
1

Some don’t, some do
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 09:53 PM
1

They’re still waiting for you to approach though!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 04:50 PM
5

Dating is easier with women who are very physically attracted to you, and women who are near or below your attractiveness level are the most likely to be physically attracted to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 04:26 PM
1

“Oh, I'm not saying that women don't send out plenty of hints, in fact, a big part of being successful in nightclubs, is the ability to read the room through the corner of your eye, and spot the apparently interested women.” Imo, hints aren’t pursuing, and I just consider that being passive lol. “The idea of someone organizing a "mixer" though, just seems like "charity", it's hard to explain, I guess. It's like being set up on a blind date by a family member! It just feels too....artificial and …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 04:22 PM
5

Good point, but I think it depends. If a man has a confident, charismatic style of talking to people, talking with women the same way he talks to men works pretty well. If a man is awkward and still learning social boundaries, it’s easier to rub women the wrong way.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 03:31 PM
3

How is the bar low?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 03:13 PM
1

If only looks mattered, it wouldn’t result in 80% of men being celibate. People would just pair up with the best they could do in attractiveness. Hot with hot, average with average, and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 05:19 AM
2

OP’s comment is right though. Some men fit the stereotype, and some of us don’t. I like being pursued if I’m interested in the woman doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 03:13 AM
1

That’s true, but online, sometimes people “left swipe” the profile of a person who they would have liked if they met them in real life, so the in person meeting doesn’t even happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/22 02:45 AM
2

Henry Cavill is the ultimate nerdy guy that the nerd girls want lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 11:14 PM
5

He would do very well
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 10:08 PM
4

Pierre is holding it down for the white knights of TikTok I see lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 09:39 PM
0

I go back and forth on this. The benefit of in person is that some people will think you are more attractive and charming in person, and vice versa. In some environments, you may have less competition from hotter people. The benefit of online is that it’s lower risk, you can cast a wider net, and you can filter for more dealbreakers in advance. If you’re good-looking but introverted or shy, I think online is better by a wide margin.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 07:20 PM
1

“I’m not reading your essay.” Lmao! The majority of my comment is exact quotes of your bullshit. “I recognize your username, you’re on here constantly crying about not being attractive, and I don’t enjoy conversing with whiners. I don’t care for your opinion. Have a good day” Of course I want to be more attractive. It makes everything easier. That doesn’t mean I can’t attract women already. You just wrote a seething fanfiction about me, but can pretend not to care all you want lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 06:54 PM
15

For most people, I think it’s worse to have unattractive looks than an unattractive personality, but that doesn’t mean personality standards are never hard to meet. They get easier to meet with people near or below our own attractiveness level, and being attractive expands that group.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 06:00 PM
7

Good point. There was some study where couples who had bigger gaps in attractiveness were more likely to have known each other a long time before dating. It doesn’t mean it’ll always happen, but it can raise the chances.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 05:08 PM
8

A minimum bar of physical attractiveness is nearly always considered first, and attractiveness can affect how your personality is assessed. But, it doesn’t mean that the bar is equally high for every woman. In my experience, the closer or lower a woman’s attractiveness is compared to mine, the more likely it is that she’ll also be attracted to my personality. There are some women who have lower bars than I would expect, but it’s unexpected for a reason. You’re right that personality can get a gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 04:40 PM
1

“Yet… none of that said enjoy dating like I do.” “You don’t need to be like me…but if you aren’t like me, you’re a bad person” “Like I said, reaching and making things up to fit your narrative because no has ever wanted to date you. Probably unhappy that if you could even score a date, it doesn’t lead to you being a sexual disappointment to someone more attractive than you. I’m gonna go ahead and assume you’re pretty dateless though, so that’s not an issue. You’re probably entitled and insuffera…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 04:01 PM
1

“Who the fuck said enjoy dating as much as I do? Just making shit up huh? I said I enjoy it, and if you don’t, you’re probably entitled and insufferable to be around.” You’re saying that if someone doesn’t enjoy dating like you do, it’s because they have poor character that they need to fix. That’s a self-righteous, close-minded, ignorant belief. You know nothing. You sound insufferable yourself too.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 05:04 AM
1

“Lmao, I say that on here and I get a bunch of angry men telling me I’m lying and I’m actually ugly. My fave was one who wanted me to “respectfully” send him a photo to prove I’m attractive to some dateless undesirable unwanted loser. Hard pass.” Not my problem. “I said I enjoy dating and it’s fun. I don’t overthink it and I look forward to it.” You can’t tell other people, men or women, to enjoy dating as much as you do if they don’t. You can only speak for yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 04:47 AM
6

1) Older generations were most likely to have had inegalitarian relationships, and that burned a lot of older women out 2) On average, women have less consistent sex drives compared to men, especially in old age 3) Men are more likely to marry younger partners and die sooner, so there are probably more female widows than male widows proportionally. It could be that people who lose a spouse to death are more likely to check out of dating 4) Older men are probably more willing than older women to …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 01:46 PM
2

What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 06:30 AM
1

Are you a conventionally attractive extrovert?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 04:33 AM
1

Many of them are real. Dating apps promote popular (hot) profiles to other users as bait. If you think a guy is hot, he probably has hundreds of women liking his profile if not thousands. More than he could or would reasonably go out with.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 12:27 AM
1

“Eh she's not actually into height. He just happened to be a gangly motherfucker who was okay with her dominant personality which past boyfriends were not. He's basically "jokes on you I'm into that shit" personified.” “I think dominant women tend to be more okay with height differences because let's be real: it's hot. I weep that I'm fucking short and I'll never be an amazon woman crushing her qt boyfriends pelvis during snoo snoo. Partner too tall.” I get what you mean now. “Unfortunately huge…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 12:18 AM
2

The thing that makes this harder for OP than your friend’s husband is that he wants to be the sub in the relationship and physically smaller at the same time. I think it’s rare for a woman to want a man who is a sub AND significantly smaller in height and build. I think a lot of women would be open to a female-dominant relationship with a tall guy who makes them “feel like a woman” with his height alone. I suppose it’s not impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/22 06:14 PM
1

Am I the only one who thinks that “balance of power” is a weird way to describe these relationship qualities that the study surveyed the women for? ““Who was more aware of the other’s feelings?”, “Who got to use their time the way he/she wanted to?”, and “Who altered their habits and ways of doing things more to assist or please the other?”“
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/22 05:54 PM
22

You can’t pinpoint what 100% of people want, and the redpill idea of “AWALT” is dumb. But you can pinpoint what most people, or at least a large minority of people want. Many people on here are doomers who assume that lower odds means 0% odds or “just world” people who think others get good or bad things because they deserve them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/22 04:12 PM
1

I said “conventionally unattractive and introverted enough.” If you’re attractive, being introverted won’t hold you back as much. Being attractive makes it a lot easier to date. If you’re unattractive but extroverted, the extroversion can still help some. If you’re unattractive and introverted, dating will probably be hard for you in a city or a small town. Not impossible, but hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 03:29 PM
1

Introversion doesn’t make all social situations affect us equally.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 09:06 AM
1

I’m still right.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 08:46 AM
1

“Annoyance at the interruption or intrusion is a valid reason to dislike the approach.” I never once said otherwise. “Men who pursue strangers with zero sign of mutual interest are a nuisance.” Not if the stranger wants to fuck him.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 08:42 AM
1

“Wdym, introversion is if interacting with people causes you to lose energy, so at some point you ahve to go home and recharge.. Maybe you confuse introversion with shyness or something. Extraversoin is where you seek others to incresae your energy.” I don’t have them confused. People can be shy and introverted. Having to approach others first takes up energy and it sucks more if you’re shy. Not getting approached means you probably have to spend more time forcing yourself to act extroverted if …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 08:38 AM
1

I disagree with the advice in his first paragraph, which suggests that it’s all about sexism. “RBF” isn’t quite the same issue as “smile more.” Looking unfriendly makes people less likely to approach you as a woman or a man. You don’t have to smile necessarily, but would either one of us rather approach someone who looks like they’re closed off and don’t want to be approached?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 08:26 AM
1

Some people dislike being approached by someone who isn’t their type more than others. Another woman responded to the OC saying she hates it, and many women feel the same way unless the guy has the look they like. But the OC is just one person, and even he said that a woman approaching with a sense of direction instead of waiting for him to take over gives her a leg up. Rejection is a hard, but it’s also a part of the game.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 08:21 AM
2

I’m also introverted and I would rather be approached more. I already have to break with my introversion to do the approaching the vast majority of the time since I’m not a hot guy. The women who approached wouldn’t always be my type, but I could think up ways to get out of the conversations I didn’t want to be in and it would still boost my confidence. To be fair, I would be less concerned about safety than women have to be in general, but I don’t think women always feel unsafe when an unwanted…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 07:50 AM
1

Speak for yourself lol. Only some guys care about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 04:56 AM
2

Fair points, but if someone’s conventionally unattractive and introverted enough, there’s probably no “good” location for them lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/22 01:29 AM
26

I agree. If you’re conventionally attractive and extroverted, the odds are higher that you enjoy dating. If you aren’t those things, the odds are lower.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/22 05:26 PM
1

You skipped over the part where I said that “sexual success” is a biased term for sex, and it isn’t strictly determined by the presence of physical attractiveness. Factors which aren’t physically attractive can make sex more likely or less likely to happen. I included handsomeness in the hypothetical because you dispute the physical attractiveness of male height but we surely agree that handsomeness is physically attractive. You also skipped the abstract I cited, which says that during partner c…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:01 PM
1

Quantity of sexual success is not the same as physical attractiveness. Not all partners are equally desirable and not all traits that increase sexual success are physically attractive. Some are just practical. Hot but uneducated and poor can lose out to average with a degree and a good income. Also, the term “sexual success” sounds biased. If a handsome guy gets propositioned by a woman but he chooses not to have sex with her because he’s not interested, and then a less attractive guy who says s…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 06:35 PM
1

“Mating market operation is such an alternative process. For example, John very much likes Mary who is highly physically attractive, but due to the strong competition for such an attractive partner, John settles for Susan who ismore of his equal in looks, based on principles of social exchange (Kelley & Thibaut, 1978). This matching idea has received moderate support (e.g., Hunt, Eastwick, & Finke, 2015; Little, Burt, & Perrett, 2006). In reality, the waymating market impacts similarity can be h…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 03:22 PM
1

Aren’t your studies saying that people tend to pair up with people who are matched to them, including in perceived physical attractiveness?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 01:29 PM
1

“Again, it would mean that shorter guys have significantly less sexual partners if women were acting according to their "preferences"” In fairness, not everyone ends up with their ideal, and sometimes people compromise. Mating is not attractiveness. People who are below average, average, and above average in attractiveness typically pair up with people in their league. A short man can be above average in attractiveness overall, but short height does bring down men’s desirability level to many wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:27 AM
1

True
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 04:28 AM
1

Good luck, seriously
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 04:21 AM
0

I mean, there are ways to make that happen without PIV, but I get what you mean. I couldn’t live in a red state at this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 04:17 AM
9

*In red states
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 04:08 AM
1

Someone had to say it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 04:01 AM
13

“I hope more women see this as a sign to not give casual sex to men who don’t deserve it and raise our standards even higher.” Are you saying that some men “deserve” casual sex from women? Found the incel. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 04:00 AM
1

“Wow, what a great study. All men below 5'9 have never dated anyone” That’s not what it’s saying. Of the women surveyed, their height minimums averaged out to 5’9. The point isn’t that men below 5’9 can’t date. There were women with minimums above and below 5’9. But, height minimums around 5’9 or taller are common. “Preferences mean fuck all, only actions matter.” And women show with their actions that many of them strongly prefer taller men, just like men show with their actions that they often…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 03:38 AM
1

Shit I didn’t even think of that lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 11:10 PM
2

We are fucked
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 10:58 PM
1

Truth
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 10:50 PM
1

I’m so sorry
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 10:50 PM
4

I’ll probably never live in a red state
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 10:49 PM
1

Shit, I’m sorry
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 10:36 PM
1

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/after-service/201909/5-reasons-why-women-and-men-care-about-height “A study on women and men’s height preferences found that women are most satisfied when their partner was 8 inches (21cm) taller. Men are most satisfied when they are 3 inches (8cm) taller than their partner. Another study found that among men, 13.5 percent prefer to date only women shorter than them. But among women, about half (48.9 percent) preferred to date only men taller than them.” “…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 10:25 PM
1

On average, being more conventionally attractive makes it easier to get attention from the people you’re most attracted to. Height is one trait among others that can affect someone’s overall conventional attractiveness and their outcomes with more desirable people. A handsome, extroverted short guy will probably have a different set of options compared to a short guy who can’t fall back on being handsome or extroverted.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 09:27 PM
3

It’s entirely relevant if you consider what people actually want their dating and sex life to look like.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 07:57 PM
3

“Data shows that it plays a miniscule role in mating success (reproductive as well).” A woman with a fat ugly husband and a woman with a slim handsome husband are both in a relationship with one man, so if we go strictly on numbers instead of desirability, they’ve had the exact same outcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 07:44 PM
1

Do you ever get attention from some height fetishists?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 07:38 PM
1

❤️
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 07:36 PM
3

“men would just have a confused but respectful look on their face 😂” 😂 Look at this man prospering! (not joking)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 06:32 PM
1

No problem. Yeah, it only applies to some women, definitely not all!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 06:26 PM
3

You could say the same thing about some women who end up with men under 6 feet lol. I’m not saying that men are nice and women are mean. It’s just a fact that women care more about height
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 04:27 PM
7

As always, when your terrible arguments get knocked down, you switch the topic to something no one asked about.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 04:25 PM
1

You can decide what you value, but not what others do. People can value you outside of dating but still not want to date or have sex with you. I know I would have fewer options with women if I was a few inches shorter, fat, or unemployed.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 04:23 PM
5

Good idea to split IRL from dating apps. I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 03:51 PM
7

“My opinion doesn’t require evidence” This is your worldview in a nutshell lol. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/after-service/201909/5-reasons-why-women-and-men-care-about-height “A study on women and men’s height preferences found that women are most satisfied when their partner was 8 inches (21cm) taller. Men are most satisfied when they are 3 inches (8cm) taller than their partner. Another study found that among men, 13.5 percent prefer to date only women shorter than them. But among …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 03:39 PM
1

You’re probably right about the underreporting, but the difference is large enough that it suggests a real gap.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 03:26 PM
11

I haven’t seen a single study that didn’t show that Western women want taller men more than men want shorter women. Many women feel “unfeminine” with shorter men even if the man doesn’t care. Men report being willing to get in a relationship where the woman is taller more than women do. You always blame men without looking into the realities.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 03:15 PM
4

It’s not always the man’s fault lol. The minority of men who are open to relationships where the woman is taller is several times larger than the minority of women who are open to those relationships. Lots of women feel “unfeminine” with shorter or smaller men even if the guy doesn’t care. In general, women want men to be tall more than men want women to be short.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 02:55 PM
3

Good answer, especially for IRL. As for #2, there is some unknown number of women who height filter on dating apps starting at 6’, but I don’t think it’ll majorly harm a 5’10 guy’s dating life even if it puts him at a disadvantage.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 02:47 PM
1

Let’s see if he responds. Sorry that happened to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 02:42 PM
1

That’s a good point. On the other hand, I think those are unique settings where people are extra conscious of the respect the place demands for naked bodies. People “go easy” on others there. If people were naked everywhere, including in nightclubs, colleges, or on Instagram, I think it’d be different. People would get more attention than others if they had toned bodies, height, big “shower” dicks, big boobs, etc. So I think there would be normalization and some desexualization, but not complete…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 01:43 PM
3

“I was just telling someone on here that while people sympathize w men w poor upbringings” This is not a given lol. I’m not saying it’s right, but people blame a woman’s problems on daddy issues when they think she’s acting in a dysfunctional way, not just because she has a bad upbringing. Men who are seen as dysfunctional are looked down upon too. People call them manchildren, momma’s boys, losers, scrubs, school shooters.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 01:27 PM
1

Interesting POV. What makes you say that? I think that might happen with bodies that don’t look as appealing to the masses while naked, but I think there’d still be body shaming and attention given to the most conventionally attractive looking bodies.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 01:10 PM
1

“why would someone value a society that doesn't value them though?” The people you meet in your life are society too.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 03:49 AM
4

Very true.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 03:44 AM
2

Women are typically attracted to social dominance, and many successful men are socially dominant in some way or context. Not all of them are though.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 03:43 AM
1

Small dicks and growers would be shamed and big dicks and showers would be praised
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 02:47 AM
7

Hell, being good looking even helps you make friends more easily, which many people on here recommend as a way of meeting compatible partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 07:40 PM
2

I’m really surprised by that age-wise! Maybe class and location play a bigger role?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 07:38 PM
1

“Yep this sums it up. As a woman who works in a fairly niche scientific research field, it’s highly attractive that my partner is successful in an overlapping field and can hold a conversation with my coworkers or boss without being awkward or lost.” “It’s also wonderful for our relationship that we are able to discuss each other’s work and interests without feeling like we need to talk down to one another.” Good example! “Annnnd he knows how to fix shit and build furniture 😍” Oh yeah 😏
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 07:33 PM
4

Person you click with wonderfully and are attracted to: partner Person you click with wonderfully but aren’t attracted to: friend Even highly attractive people can choose wrong or get cheated, but it’s better to have choices and learn to pick better than it is to not have choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 07:19 PM
31

Whatever kind of intelligence would prevent the man from embarrassing her if she was with him around others Ability to solve problems and be handy Ability to talk competently about the things she cares about
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 04:29 PM
1

My last response to you is my answer to this comment too.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 04:27 PM
1

I agree that men typically get treated more holistically, especially outside the West. In the US, it’s said that young women are outearning young men. They care a lot about looks more than earlier generations of women did. In a setting like this, all the attractive guy has to do is not be a complete “loser.” If he’s average in other ways, he’s golden. Most men are average but also less attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 02:01 PM
3

Isn’t the common line around here that we men crave validation through partners and sex more than women and it’s so pathetic that we’re not content to be alone and celibate with just family and friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 01:49 PM
2

I don’t get it either lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 01:37 PM
1

In the modern world, a guy who’s weak, good-looking, tall, and has a big dick and a full head of hair will be treated far better by women than just about any guy who has all the opposite traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 08:17 AM
2

We men can age poorly too. As we get old, about half of us lose our hair, and it gets harder for a lot of us to use our dicks. Men and women can both gain or lose weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 08:05 AM
1

The value of the extra strength depends on your lifestyle. In my preferred lifestyle, strength is nice to have, but aesthetics and physical attractiveness are more important. I admit that the strength does lend some sense of security even though I’m still very cautious about the threat of violence.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 07:43 AM
1

Why should he give a shit what you want for his life?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 07:22 AM
3

Let me get this straight: OP said he’s “without fear” of being stranded at night. You believe that I only have a problem with this because I’m too literalist, and I’m just too obtuse to see how vastly different and innocuous the actual meaning is. You insist on this despite that OP already admitted to me that he’s not cautious enough. When I say that OP was naïve to think “nothing could happen” to him, you become a strict literalist who won’t entertain that what I said has actual truth to it. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 07:14 AM
3

Fair point, I could have written that better. In the straight dating market, I’m guessing that there’s less variance in what’s desired. If you’re a straight man, your sexual and dating prospects are probably more likely to want this archetype: - Not below average in height, and ideally tall - Socially dominant - Sexually dominant - Initiator I’m not informed, but I’m also guessing that a lot of twink gay guys would struggle more in the straight dating market. Plus, there’s more imbalance in attr…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 05:33 AM
1

“Sure. That is objectively a worse situation than mine, but last comment you said” “you have miles more options for mutual attraction than a less attractive guy who’s emotionally stable.” “Not” “less attractive guy who's also 98%tile in trait neuroticism” Fair enough, but my point is that looks nearly always come first in your number of options for dating attractive people. “My OPs entire point is that this is a mistake and will cause the guy to resent the girl he settled for, which is unfair to…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 04:18 AM
3

There are guys who have severe neurosis and aren’t good looking or tall. They’ll probably have to settle on their ultimate wishlist more than you will. Finding someone emotionally stable is possible in just about any looks category. Finding someone who checks all your boxes physically is increasingly difficult in lower looks categories. People who are in those lower categories themselves might need to do some settling on the ultimate looks checklist unless they’re ready to be alone. They can sti…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 03:56 AM
1

In general, the first factor in attraction is looks. Being good looking means that strong mutual attraction is easy to come by and that frees you up to focus on personality and lifestyle alone. You probably don’t seriously consider whether you’d have to settle or be settled for on physical attraction. I guarantee that you have miles more options for mutual attraction than a less attractive guy who’s emotionally stable.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 03:41 AM
1

Didn’t you once describe yourself as 6’3 and good looking? Good looking people never have to settle as much as others do. It might not be worth it for me to keep my standards as high as yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 03:29 AM
1

You’re the one being obtuse. I agreed that women have to worry about their safety even more, but OP said he’s “without fear” of what could happen if he got stranded at night. He only doesn’t intentionally worry about his safety because he’s been naïve, and he admitted that I was correct in saying so.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 02:56 AM
7

Men are also judged more for lacking social or sexual success
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 02:13 AM
1

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 01:45 AM
1

“If a male mind was transferred into a female body he would probably have the time of his life (until he had to defend himself in an alleyway lol).“ Fair point. “women have higher neuroticism and anxiety/depression rates” Lots of men like myself already have anxiety and depression. This wouldn’t be different for me as a woman except that it would be less unattractive to the opposite sex, and that would make me less anxious and depressed. I’m also curious about whether male anxiety and depression…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 01:44 AM
1

I’m reposting my reply to the top commenter so you can see it: “I don’t care about any of the things you care about lol. I’m not knocking your lifestyle, but it’s not for me.”
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 01:15 AM
1

I don’t care about any of the things you care about lol. I’m not knocking your lifestyle, but it’s not for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 01:13 AM
27

““Making something if yourself” is overrated. Men do it to be accepted and loved by society.” This. The number of men who intrinsically give a shit about “making something of themselves” is smaller than many people think.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 12:29 AM
7

Wow, I’m sure the dead men who were killed by another man sleep more soundly than the ones who were killed by someone else. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 12:10 AM
8

Dick shaming and dick fetishization would go into hyper-overdrive
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 10:25 PM
11

“Thanks for your post.” Thanks for a thoughtful response. “I agree that men and women often swap the active and passive positions when it comes to approaching, especially these days. Social change often happens slower than we would like it to, but often quicker than we realize.” Yeah, I think a lot of women don’t approach for the same reasons a lot of men don’t. Approaching is nerve wracking and many people would opt out of it if they could. And men may be expected to approach, but that doesn’t …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 10:20 PM
8

Yeah, I was joking about the “formerly fat tall guy” success stories I see a lot on dating subs
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 10:12 PM
4

You’re onto something, but I would redefine the split as making something of your life professionally and making something of your life socially. I don’t think making something of yourself socially is anything to look down upon, and many people desperately wish they could do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 10:08 PM
34

“As a man, I think the men here greatly underestimate the fundamental advantages of being a man in society..” I don’t disagree. “1) Freedom and security - As a man, I pretty go much go anywhere and do anything, I want, and I live in the Dallas/Ft Worth metroplex. I tend to be a bit of a "night owl", I love to walk at night, go to nightclubs, "after hours" clubs, and late night restaurants. I can drive at night, without fear of what will happen to me, if I get stranded or break down” I agree that…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 10:01 PM
11

From an outsider’s perspective, I think the queer dating market gives the people in it more opportunity to avoid enforcement of gender norms compared to the straight dating market. Maybe I’m wrong, but it sure seems that way to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 08:00 PM
10

I don’t think they’re lying. The stats on the average female preference for taller men speak for themselves, but those women are probably telling the truth about their own preferences. There’s also a woman in one those threads who said her ex was 6’3 but her current guy is 5’8.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 07:47 PM
3

“Most young women only want casual sex or nothing at all, depending on how promiscuous they are, a very small minority actually want a relationship” This would make a good CMV. Not sure if I agree, but I think fewer young women want serious relationships than most people think.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 07:14 PM
1

“Why would an attractive man need to cold approach? He's already getting their attention. All he has to do is go "You hungry, kitties? Here I am. Strong confident sexual energy. Worth the effort. Catch me if you can.", cause he knows the cats love a good hunt, to play with their prey. Dogs just roll over and submit. They're no fun.” They don’t always have to approach, but some do. “Feminists don't have playlists full of sleaze metal. I am a rat. I get chased.” Ok. “Redpill is nothing but submiss…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 06:12 PM
3

😂
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:20 PM
87

“Maybe you should start by seeing women as people” “Why don’t women ever approach guys?” “I love short guys/small dicks/dad bods” “My 5’4 guy friend who’s no Adonis has slept with every woman I know, including my wife” “I was a 6’2 fat loser, but everything changed because I went to the gym and got confident. Now women hit on me because women can’t resist confidence.”
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:16 PM
2

Another dodge. There is no one answer from men or women. I asked for your answer about women. There’s no good reason why you wouldn’t be qualified to answer the question.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 03:13 PM
4

Most rapists don’t tell other people that they did it. At least, I don’t imagine that most of them would. I understand that I unfortunately probably know someone who has done it but hasn’t made it known to me. The average man’s friend group isn’t a roundtable of brutes talking about rape and other crimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 03:01 PM
3

It can help with women who are near your league. The women in my league probably can’t lock down the 6’3 model guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 02:47 PM
3

If you actually wouldn’t be into a hot guy respectfully approaching you at the grocery store, then fair enough. That’s your choice. Many other women and men wouldn’t mind being respectfully cold approached by someone as long as they were attracted to them. Some wouldn’t mind even if they weren’t attracted as long as the other person is respectful. As long as the approaching person is respectful and willing to back off, it’s fair to cold approach. Do you also think of any woman who cold approache…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 02:20 PM
1

“That guy isn’t picking up strangers in the grocery store. Try harder.” Another dodge, because you’d probably like it if a hot guy respectfully approached you in the grocery store. “People, both men and women, prefer attention from those they find attractive. Rejecting or ignoring an unwanted interruption because he or she is ugly is exactly as appropriate as ignoring the approach because someone is preoccupied or busy.” “The beggar doesn’t get to control the outcome.” What does this have to do …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 01:53 PM
2

What kind of dodge is that? Are you telling me that you’d think it was wrong for this guy to respectfully approach you in the grocery store? inb4: “well duh, women like hot men, why should you expect the same treatment, are you shaming women for liking hot guys”
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 01:45 PM
3

This is like conflating all forms of talking to a woman in public with catcalling. There are right and wrong ways to cold approach. Some attractive guys cold approach, some don’t. Do you also have an issue with women who cold approach men?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 01:38 PM
3

Who are you trying to fool?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 01:10 PM
3

Cold approach is appealing if he’s attractive to you and he’s not a complete ass. That’s what matters. Aelfred is a pandering male feminist, and the only reason someone like that would call cold approach “submissive” is to try to mindfuck redpill guys lol. inb4: “well duh, women like hot men, why should you expect the same treatment, are you shaming women for liking hot guys”
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 12:57 PM
3

“You "cold approachers" never include any initial eye communication in your process, where the conversation has already started before you even say a word. But then that would be "warm approach" and you don't get that narcissistic kick out of it by "taking control" of the situation, which is what all the PUAs are after.” Are the women who’ve approached me and other men without asking first narcissists to you? Something tells me you’ll have a different standard for them. “On top of that, it's sub…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 12:44 PM
2

“Bro not every sentence means major shit, et over it” You wouldn’t be saying this if you had better arguments. You have nothing to stand on besides “it doesn’t mean anything actually.” “But men have written those and continue to write them and still grow famous. Maybe it's also infamous, but they still do jt.” Yes, but the misogynists’ bullshit rightfully doesn’t get platformed at one of the leading liberal publications in the US. We finally know better than that. Hate misogyny, not men.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 10:23 PM
1

Then why did you insinuate that someone was trying to “force” you not to hate men when that wasn’t even up for discussion? What force are you talking about? Personally, I would not want to see an op-ed endorsing hatred of women or men in a popular newspaper.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 09:58 PM
2

Where did you “literally” say that? Did I overlook it? You implied that someone is trying to “force” you not to hate men so you can reframe the criticism you get as oppressive: “Why shoukd we be forced to pretend everything is okay for your sake when itisn't?“
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 09:47 PM
4

“You showed an article where a professor was posing a fake question about "why are women not allowed to dislike men". Why shoukd we be forced to pretend everything is okay for your sake when itisn't? And it's also 4 years old, and behind a wall you have to sign up for. Wow, you got me lol. What proof of radical acceptance of hatred towards men” You’re making up strawmen and excuses. You can hate men if you want to, and other people can criticize you for that. Btw it’s behind a paywall because ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 09:10 PM
12

“It's not goalpost moving lol. Fact is you guys claim women hate men for anything.” I just showed you an op-ed by someone arguing in defense of hating men. They used the word “hate” specifically. What is that but misandry? A man who wrote an op-ed in defense of hating women would deservedly be called a misogynist. You can’t defend it, so you moved onto “but you guys always…” “And you're screaming misandry and saying horseshoe theory is an internet buzz word? If you see through me you're fucking …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 07:44 PM
11

“Like I believe you or care lol” Fine, don’t believe me. “Even if women just point out "hey we dont trust most men who are stranfers" or "you guys scream misandry. If women just point out tbe hidden work they do that doesn't get addressed without putting men down at all they're accused of hating men.” Moving the goalposts. “Horseshoe theory is stupid and harmful too buddy” You can use all the internet buzzwords and excuses you want to try throwing off the terms of discussion. I see right through…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 07:27 PM
20

I’m black and I don’t care about your excuses to be hateful. Misandry and misogyny are stupid and harmful.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 07:18 PM
13

Misandrists don’t need to hide in obscure TRP style forums to say what they want to say and get away with it lol. https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/why-cant-we-hate-men/2018/06/08/f1a3a8e0-6451-11e8-a69c-b944de66d9e7_story.html
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/22 07:11 PM
1

Which ones?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:53 PM
3

I agree that literally, I’m not obligated to teach them things in the same way that I’m not obligated to help anyone. But I will help because I’m not as eager to judge as you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:31 PM
2

I was using your language. The difference is that I don’t care if I “shouldn’t have to” teach them that. You think that’s much more upsetting than I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:12 PM
1

I’ve also come across grown women who didn’t know how to handle my dick right. I wasn’t obligated to teach them anything but I didn’t see the point in getting bent out of shape about it unless they were hurting me. I told them what I needed them to do. If someone won’t listen, then that’s the real red flag to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 05:08 PM
1

This OP shows that. Please try some empathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 04:25 PM
2

Fair enough. A big difference is that you also have a vagina of your own and you don’t have the same sexual burden of performance that straight men do. Having sex with women as a man is very different.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:15 PM
10

Good summary.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 02:53 PM
2

You are such an affirmation-seeking male feminist type lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 02:46 PM
2

Then why do so many women say men are idiots for not understanding that women are different sexually? Should we trust them or you? Are you having sex with women like we are?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 02:41 PM
4

Have you considered that the men who didn’t care about your instructions and the men who genuinely want to be taught probably don’t have much overlap? There are women who dislike when a guy doesn’t know even if he wants to, and some women don’t even know how to give good information about what they want. Women are different too. It’s not as simple as you make it out to be. “I became a good lover through trial and error. Men need to do the same thing and take responsibility for their poor perform…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 02:30 PM
1

“What’s with the leading questions? Say whatever you want to say.” I spelled out exactly what I meant in the rest of my comment. “The distinction is clear: men who treat me as an equal human being vs men who regard me as validation for their ravenous egos.” Thank you. This is much better than this: “my disbelief that men have a conscience.”
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 02:18 PM
6

Think about it this way: if a 5’9 guy became 6’5 and handsome and he started getting hit on by married women, it doesn’t mean that all women would do that. The looks attract lower-inhibition people who wouldn’t have revealed themselves or engaged with him before when he wasn’t extremely conventionally attractive. I think this is what you’re experiencing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 02:16 PM
6

Women like hot men for the same reason men like hot women. And not all women mate with one man at a time lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:56 PM
1

“It isn’t misogyny or misandrist to mistrust people who act out sexually towards you. People know what manners are and how to behave; when they choose not to be decent, it’s appropriate to shun them.” Please point out where I ever said otherwise. I’ll wait. You’re pretending that you made any distinction according to behavior before: “my disbelief that men have a conscience.” Where is that distinction here? “I enjoy the company of all men who don’t act out towards me sexually. Those who do can g…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:45 PM
2

I don’t think love is manufactured, but it is often transactional to some extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:39 PM
5

““Informed”.” “The discovery that men regard women as slutty or easy the minute they develop curves isn’t an education. It’s a trial by fire.“ I didn’t say that women are completely informed or that it’s a pleasant experience. If you’re misinformed about how much looks matter, you’ll misunderstand a lot about how the social world works. Both the knowing and the ignorant may suffer costs in mental health, however. “Men invariably assume that women who have breasts or hips are only good for sex an…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:37 PM
5

I’ve read posts from very attractive men who said similar things about how they were treated by partnered and married women. Some of these men became very distrustful of women. Once you’re attractive (or unattractive) enough as a woman or a man, you’re going to see a side of some people that can make you a misandrist or a misogynist you if you let it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:24 PM
0

There’s a difference between not putting women on a pedestal and treating them like shit
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:13 PM
10

From my point of view, the difference is that women are typically raised to be much better informed about what they’re getting into. Looks are king for both sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 01:04 PM
12

Good story. Do you ever wonder how you might have turned out if no one complimented your looks? That was the turning point.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:57 PM
25

He was saying that he thought lacking financial stability and ambition as a man would hold him back with women, but it didn’t matter at all, at least early in the relationship, as long as he had looks and charm.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 12:30 PM
9

Whose years? https://www.vice.com/en/article/bm9w7v/why-are-so-many-women-searching-for-ultra-violent-porn I’m not saying that their viewing habits all reflect IRL desire or are synonymous with male-dominant sex. I’m just addressing your insult.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/22 07:24 AM
3

Where does your criteria for “disrespect” end? Is it disrespectful if a woman assumes that a man isn’t into being pegged and slapped by a dominatrix? All of this would have been a lot easier if both partners just said what they wanted. Women are capable and responsible for that too, but you think it’s all the fault of u/-angels-fan- for not completely understanding the hints from the women he was with that they wanted it rough. Something tells me that you don’t hold women responsible for communi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/22 07:03 AM
3

“It isn’t even a male feminist thing, it’s a general “don’t be an asshole thing” when interacting with other people. Nobody likes being reduced to a stereotype.” He didn’t disrespect them in any way whatsoever. He was naïve. Do you think a naïve man is disrespectful if he assumes that a woman doesn’t want him to spit in her mouth and choke her? “I’m going to steal an analogy from another comment in this thread; if you walk into a sandwich shop and the guy behind the counter simply makes and serv…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/22 06:49 AM
3

That user in particular will always blame men without fail. She once tried to say that Nice Guys fabricated the idea that any sexually successful guys are assholes to women, but she didn’t have much of an answer when I mentioned West Elm Caleb, who was hated by the women he dated and then hated most frequently by women after the ones he dated made him viral for being an asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/22 06:31 AM
2

“And yet you completely missed how disrespectful it is to treat women like a hivemind rather than unique individuals with varying preferences.” What a funny example of the male feminist point of view lol. Framing it as “disrespectful” that a man naïvely assumed women wouldn’t want him to be rough with them in bed, probably after hearing some women complain about guys who “jackhammer” women or are too rough.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/22 06:20 AM
1

Yep
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 08:23 PM
5

Only on Reddit would “many women prefer sexually dominant men” be debatable
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 08:22 PM
15

For many women it’s: Dominant guy who can give orgasms > Non-dominant guy who can give orgasms > Guys who can’t give orgasms
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 05:14 PM
9

I think hot men have it the best and ugly people have it the worst.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 03:14 PM
3

I agree that it’s an apex fallacy. If you look at women and men in a first world country who are genetically above-average looking, financially stable, and don’t have severe issues outside of that, this group typically lives life on easy mode compared to others. They’ll reap the more of the benefits of being a woman or a man. There will always be someone doing better than a single one of them, but the ones doing better are a smaller part of the population. However, bad things can still happen to…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 02:58 PM
1

I agree
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 01:57 PM
2

Good work! Keep it up bud!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 05:47 AM
0

Provide evidence
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 05:16 AM
2

Evidence please
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 05:11 AM
10

I don’t think he misunderstands that. He mentioned that he used to enforce gender standards about women’s height more back in school when he was more desirable and his standards have become more open now that his height is less desired by women. He’s including himself in this. When I saw OP’s title, my first thought was “duh” but he actually does bring up an interesting idea. The more desirable someone is relative to others, the pickier they can be not only about looks, but gender roles and gend…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 05:05 PM
6

I think another reason eharmony might work better is because it’s strictly for people who are willing to pay to get in. Men and women who are mostly looking for hookups, feel wishy-washy about what they want, or just want an ego boost and instagram followers probably aren’t going to pick a site where they have to pay to use it at all. The userbase probably skews older too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 04:29 PM
9

Let people complain as long as they aren’t being hateful. If you don’t like it, then you don’t have to stay on the sub lol. I believe in self-improvement, but a lot of other PPDers also have unrealistic, borderline delusional beliefs about where confidence comes from and what it can accomplish.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 03:26 PM
16

Adding to this, there was a study that said people on dating apps typically message people who are about 25% more attractive than they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 02:44 PM
12

Is it possible that you’re remembering the unattractive women who were unpleasant more than you would remember unpleasant attractive women? I’ve found that a lot of conventionally unattractive women are very pleasant to talk to. You know how some people say a short guy has a Napoleon complex for acting in a way that doesn’t get blamed on height if you’re average or tall?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 02:34 PM
1

If you want to know what decoy will say, just think of a comment that works as hard as possible to minimize men’s obstacles that aren’t entirely within their control.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 02:05 PM
3

If you’re talking about slutshaming, then I agree that women are more likely to be judged in that way. I don’t agree that being a virgin or being sexually inexperienced is equally stigmatized for men and women. Men are expected to lead much more often and people base more of their opinions of men on their experience and competence with the opposite sex. I’m not just talking about other men. Men are also judged more often for needing to be taught.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 01:38 PM
2

Start working on the obesity. That’ll do you a lot of good. Find a healthy way to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 01:18 PM
1

This. It’s like telling this virgin guy to “draw the rest of the owl.” Why would a male virgin, not by choice, feel charismatic given the expectations of the male role in bed?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 01:12 PM
3

“Some women are rejected for being virgins.” Yes, but less often than men are. If you’re a virgin, it’s easier to get by in the submissive role than the dominant role, and the vast majority of straight people expect the man to be dominant and the woman to be submissive, sexually speaking. “Some women are rejected for not being sexual enough. Some women have to deal with a Madonna Whore complex.” That’s true. On the other hand, lots of women will get turned off if a guy seems too nicey-nice, hesi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 01:09 PM
2

A woman will encounter issues if she seems like she’s psychotic, but people are more lenient in assessing this behavior with women, and there are other ways that inexperience can be disqualifying where women are less likely to be judged harshly. Even if you seem harmless but you also seem incompetent, that will probably be more disqualifying for men. OP’s example of the sexually inexperienced man is a good example of this. inb4 “but women get judged for being virgins too” virgin and non-virgin w…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 12:47 PM
2

“I think this is true in theory more than practice. But when you “watch what men do” we overwhelmingly prefer women who aren’t awkward messes. Why? Because awkwardness can seem like disinterest, so men back off due to incorrect signals sent.” This is a profound difference. If a woman turns men away because she doesn’t seem interested enough, the solution is to try harder to show interest. If a man turns women away because they think his inexperience itself is a turnoff, he cannot fix that by jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 04:24 AM
8

I don’t think those are the traits they’re talking about. Probably the majority of women prefer socially and sexually dominant men, which doesn’t have any relation to how kind and genuine you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 01:06 AM
2

It sounds like the problem is the burden of performance, not experience. A woman lacking experience or being awkward isn’t as likely to be disqualifying as a guy with the same problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 01:03 AM
2

It’s a “made for TV” moment if there ever was one lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 12:53 AM
2

It’s typically been men, but I don’t know if that will hold true as time goes on. https://nymag.com/article/2016/05/women-are-now-cheating-as-much-as-men-but-with-fewer-consequences.html “But the prevailing theory is that modern marriage is what’s killing marriage — that the more deliberation women put into whom they pair up with, the more willing and motivated they are to make a move when something’s not working. “The gender gap in adultery is closing, and it’s not just about opportunity and po…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 09:25 PM
3

Hard disagree. You don’t need high self esteem to be attractive. There are lots of people with low self esteem having sex and relationships. Low esteem can hurt you with people who aren’t already taken with your physical looks or some other aspect of your personality, but it’s not everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 05:27 PM
13

As a man who puts effort into his appearance, appearance is not the same as performance. I may be biased by the fact that using makeup is not normal for men, but the performance aspect of dating is harder and more draining to me. There is pressure on women to act a certain way, but as a man, there’s typically a greater expectation of leadership and independence during dating and sex with a higher penalty for coming off as awkward, weak or creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 02:46 PM
1

I’m not saying every woman gets approached, but maybe guys were intimidated or couldn’t get a read on you? Did you use dating apps?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 12:56 PM
2

Upper middle class
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 12:49 PM
2

Lol I never said anything different, but go off
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 04:51 PM
1

This is what you said in your original comment but in different words
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 04:07 PM
4

I think it’s rare for a Nice Guy to frame every popular guy that way, but certainly many Nice Guys overdo it
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 04:06 PM
5

I know guys who aren’t boring who are really good guys. I also know guys who aren’t boring that I would steer any woman I cared about from dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 04:20 AM
3

Keep it up!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 04:13 AM
3

This is an eye-opening series of comments. Thanks for sharing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 03:58 AM
10

“She had a preference for taller men, as if men don’t have preferences for short women or skinny girls.“ Speaking for heterosexuals at least, women are much more likely than men to prefer large height differences. Women also typically prefer slim men and I don’t think it’s ever been any different in modern times.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 03:51 AM
13

I wouldn’t get carried away and say women can’t have a hard time dating. Dating is harder for some women than others.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 11:27 PM
17

“Your post sounds fake TBH. What your complaining about doesn't make sense from the narrative that WLW often say. Sounds like a hetro male larping as a wlw.” You left out the last line of your comment for some reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 10:43 PM
38

“I don’t like this and it’s not my exact experience so you’re LARPing” If you look at their post history, one of their posts on the relationships sub from a year ago implies that they were dating a man. So if you think they’re a LARP, what identity do you think they are? And who appointed you the president of queer women?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 10:32 PM
28

Thank you for saying this. It’s one thing if someone is just misogynistically bashing women, but a lot of people, including some women and men who want to score points, downplay these honest struggles when straight men say them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 10:17 PM
2

Boomer POV. Videogames can be a crutch for some men, but lots of men who are socially skilled play videogames. It’s not just for nerdy unkempt dudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 10:10 PM
3

So you’re saying it’s equal for romantic relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 09:56 PM
3

I know assholes who don’t have a hard time dating or at least having sex
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 09:39 PM
2

Why does lacking the skills to get what you want only count as the individual’s responsibility if it’s a man?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 09:35 PM
6

I think that’s true for some guys, but do you think a friendless average-looking woman and a friendless average-looking man would have an equally hard time getting romantic or sexual attention? inb4 “but all the guys who like women on dating apps are just evil perverts”
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 09:09 PM
2

Not all tall, handsome or extroverted guys are “Chad” level though. A 5’8 guy with a decently handsome but not Adonis-level face is still playing a different ballgame than a 4 or 5/10 guy. You’re right about the algorithm. I do have some success on dating apps, but it’s more depressing if you forget that the app environment is skewed in some ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 08:58 PM
3

“Also, I think men rely too much on online dating sites, where the ratio of men to women is as bad as 4 to 1 on American Tinder, and 9 to 1 on UK Tinder. In that environment, even if all men were equally attractive, the pickings are still going to be slim.” I still wonder what the reasons for those numbers are and how it maps out to different populations. Like, how common are dating apps among women between 22-30 who live in a metropolitan area and went to college? And some women are spread out …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 07:58 PM
2

Upper middle class
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 07:31 PM
3

There are lots of geeky alternative cute liberal UMC women though! I think the above average looking ones are unusually inclined to post, but I might be giving in to the selection bias in the PPD picture posting thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 06:49 PM
6

It’s 2022. Women can initiate any time they want. Let me not initiate and see where that gets me lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 06:26 PM
8

If you’re attractive, people are more willing to help you out of your awkwardness or in spite of your awkwardness. Also, being socially awkward or autistic often counts against men more, as hard as it can be for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 06:12 PM
2

Why are you telling me this like I don’t know?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 06:08 PM
4

Excellent points.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 05:56 PM
3

That strawman you created is unbelievable to me too. The typical belief is that men care about looks and nothing else while women are attracted to personality and things like that more than looks. But in reality, both men and women generally put the minimum looks bar before personality if they have the choice. This doesn’t make women bad people and it doesn’t mean that women are only attracted to “Chad.” I believe that there are many women who are genuinely attracted to average men and that most…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 05:48 PM
9

I could be wrong, but it seems like most of the women who regularly post on PPD are above average-looking, liberal, and UMC
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 05:31 PM
6

A lot of these men online, especially blackpilled ones, used to believe in just world fantasies they were told like “the bar is on the floor” and being nice or having a good job is a big deal to women even if you don’t have other sexy traits. As the importance of men’s looks has become more well-known, blackpill and genetic determinism have become much more popular. In some ways, many of them believe in the opposite of a just world.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 05:14 PM
14

Great point. Socially awkward and unattractive people often get filtered out of socially adept and attractive people’s social circles or they may self-select out due to pressure, bad past experiences, low self-confidence
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 04:52 PM
2

I think PPD is in a constant tug of war between people who overestimate and underestimate how hard dating can be for guys who aren’t handsome or tall. The burden of performance is higher for men in early and casual dating imo
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 04:49 PM
14

I agree that the men on here underestimate how much sexual attention an average man can get, but at the same time, aren’t you 6’4 lol? I think it’s a “the truth is somewhere in the middle” kind of thing. Average guys can attract some women if they present well and initiate, but they’re typically not gonna get hit on.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 12:23 PM
1

Are you OK? What you wrote is concerning.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 11:50 AM
1

“A woman who approaches a man is not always well seen too. It screams desperation and masculinity to most.” I agree that that happens sometimes. But women want to be approached by the men they want to approach them. If a man isn’t her type of man, he may not be thought of in a positive light. “Men might be playing on hard mode, but they have the game controller. That's what I'm talking about.” Some men are playing on easy mode and some are playing on hard mode. If the woman doesn’t like the man …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 10:32 PM
2

“What is it with PPD nihilists “counter-arguing” with facts of life so obvious that everyone takes them for granted already?” Instead of acknowledging your wrong implication that I didn’t support the notion of consent, you’ve switched to calling my arguments obvious. What I said goes against your OP, so how is it “obvious” to you unless you’ve changed your mind? “I could reject you at any time”? Yes, that’s baked into any interaction where one person wants something from another. How does that c…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 10:14 PM
3

“Well yes, of course, consent is a thing. Sorry there's no controlling other people's actions or desires.” What is it with PPD male feminists and strawmanning normal descriptions of dating standards as attacks on the notion of consent? “Regardless, acting opens up the potential for good things to happen for you far better than waiting on other people to initiate things.” Anyone who can be asked can ask.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 09:00 PM
2

Being the asker doesn’t inherently give you power. If you ask me out, I could reject you at any time. “Your way of asking me out wasn’t good enough. You’re not my type. You were too awkward on the date. You weren’t good enough sexually. You were alright, but I got an offer from someone I like more than you.” Being willing to ask gives you more power than you had before, but not more power than the person you asked unless you’re doing some messed up stuff like blackmailing or pressuring them. Peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 08:12 PM
2

You can only play the female role when someone else is pursuing you and you accept their offer. You can’t make anyone want to pursue you. Unless you’ve been blackmailed, if you don’t like what the person in the male role is offering behaviorally, financially, or sexually, you can voice your opinion or reject them no matter how much effort they’ve put into pursuing you. It’s only right that you have that option. You’re the interviewer and they’re an interviewee. The person who can play the female…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 07:26 PM
1

And how did those changes result in more interest than before? Did it change the way you spoke to women for example? Were you approaching and meeting more women or different women? Did your appearance change for the better?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 06:53 PM
2

“One issue I take with this which is probably blue pilled thinking: do you want to attract people based on who you are or what you have to offer? If the only reason women are attracted to you and want to be with you is because of shallow reasons like being fit and rich, why would you want to be with women like that unless you yourself is equally as shallow?” I’m not redpill, but there’s a middle ground to changing yourself. It’s one thing to forge your identity around being rich or macho. That c…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 05:29 PM
1

How did your change in worldview result in more success?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 02:33 PM
1

Fair enough, that one does seem sexist
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 02:29 PM
1

I was thinking about IRL and social media, but you have a point about it being different on Onlyfans and things like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 02:14 PM
1

Can you link me to one?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 02:11 PM
6

I think you’re looking at the most privileged and self-interested women online and assuming that all women are that way. There are areas in life where the average first world woman has disadvantages just as there are some areas where the average first world woman has advantages. Many women are aware of both. And how are women worthless? They’re people just like us. If they’re all worthless then we’re all worthless. Are there any women who you’ve had positive interactions with?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 01:52 PM
4

Lol you hit the nail right on the head. Recognizing that women can have good or bad qualities is too much to ask I guess
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 04:37 AM
2

I see. And you weren’t approaching women during your jock days? Were you dating or sexually active at all? How did your actual personality change?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 03:55 AM
5

A lot of the advice that successful people give is simple or even overly simple, and yet, they’re still successful. I don’t think redpillers’ biggest problem is simplicity. It’s rigidity that prevents them from considering information outside of their various theories. Edit: And that’s not to say that everyone needs to be open-minded to succeed. If you have a lot going for you, it’ll be easier to achieve success even if you’re rigid.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 03:53 AM
2

Assuming that someone is “smart, interesting, thoughtful and deep” because they’re attractive sounds like pedestalizing to me
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 03:48 AM
2

What did you do differently? Were you approaching women or using dating apps before?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 03:46 AM
2

Most people want to feel that they finally understand things. They feel uncomfortable when that understanding is fundamentally challenged.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 03:44 AM
2

What do you mean by “struggled at dating”? Did you have problems getting women attracted to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 03:34 AM
0

Sure, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t want to understand women. Lacking empathy holds them back from understanding some things about women. Tbh studies can help with understanding women and men too though. Edit: have you been downvoting me because you disagree with me lol?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 03:27 AM
3

If they don’t want to understand women, then what do they want? Do you mean that they don’t empathize with women enough to think outside the box?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 03:19 AM
1

What do you mean by this?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 03:16 AM
2

Your response to simplistic misogyny is to simplistically pedestalize women, which isn’t accurate either. Most women would tell you that some women are cool and some women are not. Same as men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 03:07 AM
11

Some people would say that redpill is very complicated if not overcomplicated. I think redpill suffers more from rigidity, not simplicity. Typical Reddit dating advice like “be yourself, be confident, treat women as people and don’t approach women at the grocery store” is much simpler than redpill but also rigid. This leaves a lot of guys hanging, so they go looking for a more robust explanation that can help them understand why some guys are successful without being themselves or treating women…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 02:52 AM
5

It sounds like you’re “good at casual” to me haha. Nothing turned out in a way that put you in a bad spot
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 11:42 PM
2

“I wish women would be this blunt. lol Imagine if women actually went around telling men what we can do to ourselves to make ourselves more appealing to them. I bet every dude would be carrying a notebook in their pocket ready to take notes. 🤣” Many do, but it’s usually not the most important or actionable advice for actually attracting women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 10:50 PM
1

“Thanks for reading my story! It is cathartic to write about it.” I’m glad! “I met my ex at work. There were some red flags that I didn't realize were red flags back then - he was such a different person at work vs. outside of work. But he didn't really show his true colors until about 5 months in.” That’s unfortunate. What were some of those red flags? “I met my boyfriend at a bar. I was doing a birthday bar hop with my friends. We walked into the bar and I made eye contact with a guy there. He…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 10:46 PM
2

Fair enough
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 10:13 PM
1

Do you feel the same way about women who prefer chivalry or want a man to pay for their dates?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 10:09 PM
4

I’m glad that you got out of that cycle. Thanks for sharing. By the way, how did you meet the ex-boyfriend who held you at gunpoint and the boyfriend you’re dating now? What were the meeting-to-relationship stories? I’m not looking for info to discredit you. I’m just interested in learning about how it went down.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 07:31 PM
1

Meaning that for a lot of women and men, “the bar is on the floor” isn’t true.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 06:32 PM
0

I see that you have no counterargument.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 06:23 PM
1

How did you meet and end up getting involved with these different men?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 06:21 PM
2

Yep I see this with some guys on reddit too where they’ll say they’re average only to casually drop that they’re 6’2 lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 05:53 PM
2

“I was being hyperbolic. I'm not strawmanning. My point was that her expectations aren't unreasonable” You misrepresented me as if I’d said women can’t have standards and then you went whiteknighting against the strawman you created. I never said women are wrong to have any standards. “although "literally anyone" was the wrong choice of words I stand by her having a very open mind to dating most men as long as they're respectful and fun to be around.” Fair enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 05:48 PM
2

You’re strawmanning like crazy right now. She doesn’t have to date anyone she doesn’t want to, but I seriously doubt that she would date “literally anyone” like you said.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 05:30 PM
1

You’re moving the goalposts. Your girlfriend’s friend would not literally date anyone who can pay rent and dress better than a college freshman.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 05:18 PM
4

Grandmas who are 70+ and had abusive husbands are much different from young women in 2022.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 05:10 PM
5

I mean, what you said is true lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 05:05 PM
2

“My gf for example is incredibly picky with who she dates and constantly jokes about this stuff, especially since one of her single friends (who's very attractive) will date literally anyone who can afford their rent and dress better than a college freshman.” Would she date a 4’10 ugly man who can afford rent and dress better than a college freshman?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 05:03 PM
1

“Because being nice and clean is a bare minimum.” Being attractive enough is the bare minimum. If being nice and clean was the bare minimum, far fewer women would have complaints about their boyfriends and husbands not doing those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 05:00 PM
12

“Women don't simp over dudes the way guys do to women.” They do if he’s hot enough
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 04:51 PM
4

I stopped putting women on a pedestal. I’m still pro-women’s rights and against misogyny. I also think men’s looks matter much more than most people want to admit.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 04:18 PM
1

Do you have female friends who you you think of as around your level who use online dating? Sorry that you’ve had a tough time btw.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 04:25 AM
3

Some of the women on here seem like they’re at least a bit above average looking but dealing with low self-esteem or social anxiety. I’m not saying there aren’t a lot of women who actually experience being below average looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 03:38 AM
2

“I'm so used to hearing "not conventionally attractive" as a synonym for "ugly" that I was like uhhh what's unattractive about either of those descriptors? I guess you meant "unconventionally attractive", which is an underutilized descriptor.” When people on Reddit say someone’s “not conventionally attractive,” I assume that this someone is above average but being downplayed in their attractiveness because they don’t look exactly like an action movie star or a quarterback lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 08:02 PM
1

You can’t make this shit up lol
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 04:42 PM
4

I think you misread me. Watching anime has almost no effect on how attractive the rest of you is, especially these days. If a guy can’t attract women as an anime viewer, then turning off the anime is not the single thing that’ll save him.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 04:36 PM
1

It depends on what area we’re talking about. In child-rearing for example, the expectations are typically higher for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 03:56 AM
2

“I’d hazard a guess and say the average male feminist is way better adjusted than the average manosphere incel.” I mean, it’s not a contest, but yeah, especially if you only count manosphere watchers who are incels lol. Not all guys who watch manosphere stuff are incels though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 02:37 AM
5

Neither liberal nor conservative women are salivating for liberal or conservative men who lack looks, social skills, and status.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 10:53 PM
4

A Fresh and Fit fanboy or male feminist who lacks looks, social skills, and decent employment will be low-value to most women. The things they watch are not the most important.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 10:49 PM
5

I’m left-wing, but from an objective standpoint, a right-wing guy is not low value if he has the traits that account for the better part of liberal and conservative men’s desirability: looks, social skills, and status. The conservative guy just might not be a hit with all liberal women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 10:45 PM
2

This. If he’s respectable, but women with options don’t want him, he’s not high value.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 10:32 PM
4

I don’t watch this stuff, but if a guy who does or doesn’t watch redpill videos also has looks, social skills and decent employment, he’ll do fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 10:28 PM
3

Women are far more sexually desired in the straight dating market because men are hornier on average and more easily attracted, not because women generate the desire with any superior sexual skills. The same thing is true for men in the gay dating market.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 10:18 PM
9

Irrelevant. Looks and social skills are infinitely more important. Even popular rappers like anime these days. Lots of women are into these things too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 10:09 PM
1

The guy you were talking to already said he has plenty of friends. Instead of admitting you were wrong, you said he must be a misogynist, despite that many misogynists are having a great time single and in relationships and there was no evidence that he’s a misogynist. You have no idea what you’re talking about, but you’re too arrogant to admit it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/22 02:22 AM
1

Provide evidence that it’s misogynistic and not normal to dislike being single
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/22 01:06 AM
1

This is way too far lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/22 11:42 PM
2

This article is about an Australian study on a similar topic, which suggests that physically attractive people are more likely to be conservative because the benefits of being attractive can give them a “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” mentality. For the record, I’m liberal. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/caveman-politics/201803/science-weighs-in-conservatives-look-better “Two recent research articles suggest that political conservatives tend to be more physically attractive tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/22 01:56 PM
1

Maybe “reserved” was the wrong word since it’s kind of neutral
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/22 06:25 AM
2

For one thing, I think some people like to believe that they’d have more control over their fate or their response to it than they really would. Many of these guys are exactly that way. Secondly, the OP was asking men if they’d make the trade from their current situation now. Some of the guys here who would make the trade are saying that women’s risks are bad, but they would take them for a change in their circumstances overall. One guy said he would make the trade if the risk was what it is on …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 10:33 PM
4

The biggest disconnects I see here are the following: Many of the men don’t understand just how scary the threat of sexual violence is for a lot of women. Many of the women don’t understand that when men say they want more attention, even sexually, it isn’t just about getting off. It’s about the validation and intimacy of women wanting you along with the fact that we men often have more consistent sex drives. Many transpeople have noted that the world was colder to them and more fearful of them …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 09:27 PM
1

You’re right that men typically don’t feel afraid for their safety if they turn a woman down, but they don’t always feel flattered. Some men and women feel repulsed by certain people hitting on then too.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 09:13 PM
2

Nope. The average man has lower standards for sex than the average woman does, but most guys would not fuck any given woman. Women get turned down by guys all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 09:00 PM
2

Even if a lot of the guys here are clueless, there are some men who would prefer being women in this area and there are women who would rather stay being women. A guy agreeing with your preference doesn’t mean he’s the only single man who’s thought about it. So even if a lot of the men are clueless, I think you’ll have a hard time understanding why some men feel that way if you think this is only about getting a nut for them. If that was all they wanted, they could just jack off.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 08:49 PM
3

My point is that even though those men who dismiss harassment are wrong, you’re not going to get through to them by comparing heterosexual interactions to homosexual interactions. The typical heterosexual man is not interested in respectful or disrespectful homosexual encounters.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 08:28 PM
2

Yes, if it was from women. I’m straight, so I don’t get as much of an ego boost from what other men think of me. Again, I’m not saying that women have to be ok with harassment or that this makes harassment ok. It would still make me uncomfortable. The best situation would be all “wanted” attention and no unwanted attention or harassment, but if I could trade my current situation for more more wanted attention and more harassment from women, I think I would make the trade. I’m not some incel by t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 08:13 PM
5

I think part of the disconnect for a lot of men is that they can’t imagine feeling so repulsed by the sex that fits their sexual orientation (to be clear, I’m not saying that I agree with these men). Prison rape is the opposite in that it’s usually straight men being raped by men, and most people recognize that rape is terrible.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 08:01 PM
2

This may sound like a cop-out, but I’m honestly not sure since I haven’t tried it. It depends on which risk we’re talking about. Obviously, the hardest drawback would be the increased risk of sexual violence. I’m undecided on whether that would be “worth the trade” for me personally. Harassment from older unattractive women would be worth it to me if I got more attention overall from women I was and wasn’t attracted to (more likes on dating apps for example). To be honest, I still get a bit of a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 07:44 PM
1

What do you mean when you say “feminine”? Do you mean that you have feminine clothing and mannerisms or that you have a submissive personality or a smaller frame compared to the women you’re with? (I know that feminine doesn’t always mean submissive, but many women would think of a submissive man as too feminine for them)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 06:20 PM
3

“I thought that bossy woman x laidback man was a common pairing in the US.” “Laid back” isn’t the same thing as “feminine.” Many times it’s the opposite. Some women like a laid back guy who’s the strong-but-silent personality type that grounds her and isn’t easily fazed. It’s a classically masculine type of personality and it can even be dominant in its own way. The “feminine” version of this personality type is more reserved or shy, and that’s less attractive to a lot of women than the strong-b…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 05:59 PM
1

I think “monogamy is patriarchy” is a dumb idea. I’m just saying that I don’t think OP is kidding and it’s not an idea that I would be surprised to hear from a nonzero number of feminists.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 10:19 PM
1

“I don't think men are actively being patriarchal by having an exclusive relationship.” Fair. “And I also don't think all women want polyamory. You don't need to be in a polyamorous relationship to get sex with multiple people.” I should have said “nonmonogamy” instead of “polyamory”
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 09:46 PM
1

It doesn’t sound like a parody to me. “How Polyamory is Turning Patriarchy on Its Head” “Psychologist Sandy Peace discusses how polyamory can check male privilege while fostering open and honest communication among partners.” To be fair, I wouldn’t consider this a mainstream feminist opinion and I think many feminists would disagree with it, but it’s not something I would be surprised to hear from some feminists I know IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 09:38 PM
2

This is a funny OP. It’ll rub a lot of the men here the wrong way because it tells men they’re being patriarchal if they have an exclusive relationship. It’ll rub a lot of the women here the wrong way because many of them dislike polyamory and porn and don’t want to be associated with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 08:52 PM
14

Yeah I think this OP is just gloating and baiting disguised as a prompt whether or not that was OP’s conscious intention.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 08:19 PM
1

Fair enough, but it’ll mostly be unattractive ones
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 04:48 PM
1

I understand why you felt that way given the context. Thanks for explaining. I respect the empathy you had for your family friend and your husband. After I reading the quote from your dad about you being a good wife one day, I thought about how my mom has told me I would make a good husband one day after I tended to her domestic and emotional needs, so I didn’t think of what your dad said as being linked to gender roles. My mom told me I would make a good “husband” because as a man, I will be a …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 03:40 PM
2

“New for women. In the past women were often urged into marriages based on the ability to provide by parents. I come from a culture where in the past if you did not marry you did not move out on your own, this typically meant you became a burden on your family if you did not marry and not provide grandchildren. Looks and height did not matter the big question was: will he be a good provider. That was it.” How far back are you thinking? You said “men have been saying “no fatties” for decades,” so…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 03:00 PM
1

Not all the unattractive ones will end up alone, but the ones who do, by and large, will be unattractive. And attractiveness is separate from how good or bad a person you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 02:47 PM
2

“I honestly think the cultural significance of height hasn't gone up. Remember what I said about insecure people? Men have been saying "no fatties" for decades now we have "no shorties".” Are you trying to say that “no shorties” is old or new? The dislike for shorter men has been around longer than either of us has been alive actually but it’s become more prominent or at least more vocal due to the internet and swipe dating apps. “As for the age thing, my friends were all with their partners for…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 02:30 PM
1

I’m going off of OP’s “slave” metaphor, which probably isn’t just referring to the presidents and prime ministers of the world and includes social life and media.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 02:13 PM
1

Only the unattractive ones will end up alone. There will always be bad men who aren’t alone and good men who are alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 02:09 PM
1

Some women want different amounts of each. Looks are by far the most important thing, but money, status and protection (or the impression of it through height) can tip scales with different women. Women’s money and status are scale tippers on the men’s side too due to assortative mating. Everyone who isn’t a model is trying to tip the scale here and there.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 06:30 AM
2

Not necessarily in those words, but looks are the first and most important bargaining chip for both sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 06:09 AM
2

“As a woman I have always felt like a slave to the male gaze. Now that men are too I love it.” Attractive people, men and women, are ruling, and uglier people, men and women, are the “slaves.” Some men are sailing on their looks as much as ever and some women are dragged down by their looks about as much as before. But I suppose you enjoy this just because some extra men are being dragged down too. The old system was unfair, but the new one is still harsh to less fortunate women and men for reas…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 05:54 AM
1

I’m not following the connection you’ve proposed here
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 05:44 AM
3

“love, sex, emotional support, childcare, housework, cooking, etc.“ All good things, but in most cases, an ugly short dude who can do all of those things will find himself considered a friend, not a boyfriend. You can’t cook and clean your way into a woman’s attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 05:39 AM
51

“For centuries, women have been unhappy that their worth is heavily determined by their genetics. In modern times, men’s worth is heavily determined by their genetics.” feigns surprised face “Can anyone figure out why some men are unhappy about this just like some women are? What’s the problem?”
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 05:03 AM
1

Honestly, if you think that’s a reasonable way to approach half the population, I’d rather not put in the effort to convince you. You’ll go back to your echo chambers and arm yourself with more justifications to keep your mind closed, just like a lot of the men and women on here do.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 03:50 AM
3

“I don't think you can really say most feminists considering you don't know most feminists. In general people on reddit tend to pay attention to awful inarticulate people who have an opposite position to them and then pretend that this is representative of the entire opposition.” I’m not anti-feminist and I’m not just basing my opinions off of people on the internet. I’ll say a lot instead of most. “Beauty standards have always been more imposed on women than men see: anti aging products, makeup…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 03:31 AM
1

Honestly I’m not sure what was offensive about this one
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 03:05 AM
6

“I mean a small part of feminism is addressing unrealistic shitty beauty standards that have been imposed that negatively impact both women and men.” Yes, but for most feminists, it’s primarily about the women. And even a nice person who actually does think those body standards are unrealistic or negative can still have conventional preferences when it comes to who they pair up with. “Generally men and women who are the most critical of people's looks, it comes from a place of insecurity. They c…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 10:12 PM
3

Oops, so it’s your friends, my bad. My guess is that their politeness about men’s looks has more to do with their personality types and age group than them being feminists.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 09:34 PM
3

How old are they? It might also be that your husband just knows nice people. There are a lot of people who fit the Type 1 that OP described.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 09:24 PM
1

Yeah idk honestly haha
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 09:18 PM
1

You didn’t have to comment and tell us you’re lazy. There are some better replies on here than yours from men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 09:07 PM
3

“They do tend to be more accepting of different body types for men and women as well.” How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 09:05 PM
4

Good advice. The only thing I’d add is that I think a lot of people are being influenced by the internet too
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 08:45 PM
5

Not all feminists feel the same way. There are some feminists who believe that the “man pays for dates” norm is outdated while other feminists believe that “it’s the least men can do because being a woman is so much harder.”
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 08:41 PM
0

It’s not a good idea to base your opinion of a whole gender on some of the most hateful ones online. That’s where a lot of the men and women on here went wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 07:39 PM
1

“Nope. Both of my sisters are conventionally attractive, I'm ordinary.” Unless you’re underestimating yourself because you set the bar at your sisters’ looks, I guess the “ignoring works” advice is more effective for women or attractive men lol. “as a woman or a man) then ignoring everyone won’t do as much for you.” “I don't know about that. People frequently discuss an air of mystery when it comes to men. Not my jam so I have no idea why that's intriguing to some.” In my opinion, the difference…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 07:11 PM
1

No problem with that!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 07:02 PM
3

Holy shit that advice you got from your dad is awful
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 06:32 PM
1

I think your experience could be summarized as “be good looking and you’ll do fine.” If you’re not that good looking (as a woman or a man) then ignoring everyone won’t do as much for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 06:22 PM
3

I’m surprised to hear that the “looks don’t matter” message was being taught to some women too. I thought only men were being taught that BS and women were taught the game day 1 lol. I mean, I think the typical BS message was that men’s looks don’t matter much but women’s looks matter a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 06:10 PM
2

I agree and I know that you say it with only good intentions. There are a lot of other people on this sub who are very hostile, and I think that leads everyone to assume the worst. There’s nothing wrong with the message itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 06:03 PM
1

They probably stereotype Korean guys based on K-Pop boyband members or something. If they watched Squid Game and saw how the men looked and behaved, that might have opened their minds
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 05:47 PM
2

I think the message is a good thing and I’ll teach it to my daughters if I have any (and sons with genders reversed). Unfortunately it gets used a lot by some women who pair it with a hostile “because men suck” message, so lots of guys assume that the former message is hostile even when it’s not.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 05:28 PM
3

It depends. Being a nice guy who isn’t a pushover is attractive to most women. Being a nice guy who’s a pushover is unattractive to most women. This is a very important difference for men specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 05:20 PM
3

What conservative man? Although women do experience sexual shame and oppression, I think you’re making a leap when you suggest that this was why the girl turned him down. Lots of women just don’t find certain vibes attractive in men, and it’s not necessarily that they fear his judgement. She probably didn’t want him or didn’t want the kind of relationship he wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 05:10 PM
7

““Too nice” probably meant “I want to have sex and he isn’t on the same page and will downgrade me and think less of me if I pursue it”.” I can’t say if you’re right or wrong, but the part after the “and” seems rather convenient in that it makes her choice a tragedy of sexual shame and oppression instead of her just not finding his vibe sexually attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 01:13 PM
1

That’s why I said “your preferences are what they are.” Most people don’t have completely gender neutral expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 07:57 PM
5

It’s strangely hard to get some people to understand this on the internet. The idea that friends and family not only can, but should make up for a relationship, and that something’s wrong with you if you feel otherwise, seems like a surging internet meme
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 07:50 PM
2

You implied that the expectation of protection and the stigma towards insecurity and weakness is the same for men and women. I disagree. Gentleness is accepted in masculinity and femininity, but an inability to protect when the time calls for it is typically accepted in femininity but not in masculinity. I think that’s what the other commenter was getting at even if he didn’t word it well.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 07:40 PM
1

There are attractive introverted women too and it’s not like they’re all going to be single and making a move on square guy either unless he’s very attractive lol. Extroverted and non-square guys have the edge over introverted and square guys with most women. Women are probably more likely than men to select against square personalities too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 07:33 PM
1

“Nothing”? Really? You had a point about the definition of gentleness, but I think the other commenter was getting at the fact that many people will prefer that a man has some capacity to protect even when everything else about him is gentle. Women are rarely subject to the same expectations even if you personally have those expectations. These are gender roles.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 07:03 PM
1

If you knew that already, then why did you put down “extroverted” as a quality that square men seek out in women? Another introverted woman pointed out that that seemed off too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 06:45 PM
2

Your preferences are what they are, but most people don’t expect women to protect others in the way they expect men to.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 06:40 PM
1

Why are you explaining your POV on sympathy to me again when I told you that I wasn’t talking about that? I don’t care if you have sympathy for them. This is not about you. The only thing I wanted to talk about was why it might seem like introverted guys prefer extroverted women even when they don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 06:29 PM
1

I know you don’t have sympathy. I was explaining why it might seem like introverted guys prefer extroverted women even when they actually don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 05:56 PM
1

Introverted guys who aren’t handsome, and especially the ones who have social anxiety, will likely have fewer options than a comparable woman, and very introverted women are not common or guaranteed to be single and show interest when found. The male gender role also puts on more pressure to act extroverted in the early stages. If a extroverted woman who he likes seems to be showing interest, it may be hard for him ignore that and wait it out for an introverted woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 05:37 PM
2

That’s what I was saying. I strongly doubt that most introverted guys prefer extroversion in women with all else being equal.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 04:38 PM
3

That doesn’t disprove what I said. An introverted woman would probably be preferred by an introverted guy with all else being equal. But in the early stages, an extroverted woman is more likely to advertise and engage with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 04:27 PM
9

That 30% is shocking to me too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 04:24 PM
5

“It is usually random single men who often push the opposite narrative, for obvious reasons: self-interest. They know they are the ones who benefit from women sacrificing everything to raise a child. Not the woman.” This is quite the conspiracy theory. I bet you that the vast majority of people who aren’t in childfree groups or doing professional research on family are not aware of these findings. People aren’t always plotting to get you.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 04:13 PM
2

Yes, not “extroverted” unless they’re extroverted themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 03:53 PM
2

This is a funny game. Genetic appearance: 10 Maintained appearance: 7 Social skills: 6 Net worth: 4 Logistics: 1 Genetic appearance is the most important, but maintained appearance and social skills would help me fit in with and get commitment from an intelligent, interesting woman who’s UMC and up. I could get by with less social skills, but I would prefer a woman who would want me to at least have decent social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 08:06 AM
3

“Sure, as long as he wants someone similar to himself. Not all do, as I said in my original comment, and then get mad that Chad goes off with the woman they want” All I’m saying is, I don’t think most introverted guys are seeking out extroversion in women. They seek out women who seemingly signal interest or have interesting personalities that they can see. “Instead of saying “she obviously wasn’t compatible with me” it then becomes “women only like hot assholes and suck” Apparently, this is the…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 07:17 AM
1

That was my guess too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 07:10 AM
1

Do you feel that they matched with you because you’re less introverted or just because they were into you regardless? Extremely introverted women are rare imo
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/22 07:01 AM
2

You’ll never get her to admit you were right
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 11:39 PM
6

You’re moving the point like you’re moving the goalposts. I don’t believe for a second that only buff women like buff men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 11:34 PM
2

Which guys think the second pic is normal? He’s clearly been working out a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 10:35 PM
10

If lots of women with options prefer to fuck guys who look a certain way, then it’s hard to argue that those men aren’t pleasing to any women’s gaze.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 10:27 PM
16

You were the one acting like women can’t be attracted to buff men and now you’re trying to flip it on me as if I was the one who said women can’t be attracted to different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 10:17 PM
2

Interesting to say the least lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 09:35 PM
28

A woman posted a buff dude as an example of what she finds attractive and we still can’t get other PPD women to stop saying that only gay men like buff guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 09:30 PM
1

Do you meet a lot of women who are the same way?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 06:42 PM
1

You’re welcome! This reply was kinder than I expected haha. Take care.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 06:34 PM
4

I think even most guys who have double standards wouldn’t react the way her friend did. That’s incredibly weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 06:29 PM
2

This is another article on the same study. https://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/02/19/women.bikinis.objects/ It says they only tested men and women’s response to women, not men and women’s response to men. “Women may also depersonalize men in certain situations, but published research on the subject has not been done, experts say.” The Scientific American article I posted says that the subjects in another study saw half-naked people (not sure if these were only women) as less able to think for themse…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 06:02 PM
1

Where is the evidence that women never objectify men? Can you find any? Edit: I found an article where they look at a similar study that reached some interesting conclusions. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-our-brains-turn-women-into-objects/ “A new study by Kurt Gray and colleagues in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, however, suggests that this kind of objectification might not cause perceivers to see women as mindless bodies but instead cause a transformation in…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 05:24 PM
5

Higher on average sex drive and lower supply of sexual options (for straight men) Women have higher standards for sexual desire on average, so sex is even more validating to men. Women often need higher value men to feel validated by sex to the same degree. Higher value doesn’t necessarily mean a very attractive man. It can be a man who’s high value in general or a man who’s just more attractive than she is. Cultural conditioning which encourages men to attach their self-worth and lifestyle to s…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 05:05 PM
1

What are you trying to prove? No one said men never objectify women. Are you saying that these studies proved that no women objectify men?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 04:56 PM
1

Agreed.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 03:36 PM
2

Sad, isn’t it?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 03:19 PM
1

Ah, another “if you have any social difficulties you must be autistic” comment
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 03:08 PM
3

There’s quite a few PPDers who stay on this sub to discuss gender, and then, when someone actually puts effort into a post from a POV they disagree with, they fall back on “ha what a boring nerd you’re so autistic to think about this stuff”
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 02:45 PM
3

Lots of women can be attracted to a guy they hate. That’s not at all gender exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 02:34 PM
2

You’re very right. That reminds me of a great OP a while back that showed that feeling desired makes a big difference for men, despite that people say it only matters to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 02:03 PM
1

That describes a large part of the audience, but the reason that people come here instead of just sticking with the main dating subs is that this sub has less mainstream and sometimes more data-driven discussions about what women and men are attracted to. Some of the discussions are terrible misogynist or misandrist crap, but not all of them are. There are guys who had zero luck with women on here but there’s also guys who have had mixed luck or plenty of luck. The same goes for the women on her…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 02:01 PM
2

Uh oh…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 03:39 AM
2

I just found it…wtf
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 03:26 AM
2

Oh shit, I actually haven’t heard of this story before lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 03:15 AM
3

Better finish the joke before an FDS lurker beats you to it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 03:10 AM
6

Men on Reddit make all kinds of weird jokes, but the notion of men having sex with inanimate objects and animals is primarily a meme among resentful Reddit feminists.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 02:37 AM
7

What did I say that this comment was supposed to correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 02:22 AM
1

“Women are not possessive in the same way men are. Male love/sexuality is about ownership. Men want to own their woman. As a possession. Women want to be owned by a desirable man.” Wow, I wonder what some feminists would think of your take lol. “Women get possessive when they're afraid she'll lose him to another woman. That he'll stop investing in her and invest in someone else. It's different.” Isn’t this the fear of most possessive men? “Women who brag about dick size or other sexual, visual a…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 02:20 AM
1

The goalposts are being moved. I agree that men do it more, historically at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 02:12 AM
12

I’m pointing out a main reason why there’s more discussion about female sexuality on here. As for whether female sexuality is more complicated, it probably is, even if people exaggerate about it in crucial ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 02:09 AM
2

“because men are sexually visual and possessive in a way that women are not. men objectify women as something pretty they can own and control.” How does this account for possessive women? “women objectify men as a status object among other women. something valuable to show off for his achievements.” Lots of women show off or brag about guys they’re with for being tall, handsome, or having a big dick. Those aren’t achievements. “it's completely different, and please note before you get upset that…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 01:59 AM
2

Extroverted women are more likely to show off their personalities and suggest interest. If square guy was at a party and an introverted woman who he found attractive ignored everyone else at the party and showed interest in him, he would be unlikely to care about her extroversion or her social standing with the rest of the room.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 01:49 AM
42

There’s more extremely outdated ideas about women’s sexuality than men’s sexuality. For example, men and women both typically evaluate looks before personality, but lots of people think this is a male behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 01:43 AM
2

Why is it different?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 01:38 AM
11

So women do it too, but it’s “different”
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 01:36 AM
7

You don’t think any women objectify tall, handsome, or well-endowed men?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 01:32 AM
8

link
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 01:28 AM
10

Are you new here lol?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 01:14 AM
24

“When a woman explains (correctly) that their sexuality is less visual than men's and that we need interaction and game and nuance to get turned on, it is ALWAYS a man who jumps in to apply a moral value to that. Always always a man who takes that value-neutral point and cries about how women are pretending to be less shallow, more wholesome, more romantic, whatever and we should just admit we're shallow whores.” “I never see women arguing that getting turned on by a man's behaviour is somehow b…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 01:06 AM
4

Extroverted men want extroverted women. Square men are typically introverted, and I doubt that they prefer extroversion in women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 12:59 AM
1

They probably don’t need her to be less square than they are. They want a show of interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 12:56 AM
1

Who said they don’t want a square woman? They most likely want a woman who’s attractive, attracted to them, and shares their interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 12:08 AM
2

I think a majority of women find it attractive if a man has a capacity for violence in the context of successfully (key word) defending against an attack. A minority of women find it attractive if the man is the aggressor. I think men are rarely attracted to violence in women. By the way, no one should put their life on the line or use violence just to impress someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/22 11:57 PM
1

Bingo.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/22 11:23 PM
2

A man thinking about his wife and kids during his time in a concentration camp is unbelievable to you for some reason?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/22 03:45 PM
4

In the quote in the OP, the author prizes love as a source of “bliss” and “salvation.” So yeah, love and hate can provide strength, but that’s not what the author was after. He was looking for bliss, not strength. Hate is misery even when it provides strength.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/22 04:55 AM
2

I’m not saying it’s wrong or right. I’m just giving another example of people getting thrown off when they’re offered what they said they wanted very quickly. That said, not all men and women have the same timetables, and sometimes it depends on how interested they were in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/22 04:00 AM
6

It’s a metaphor. “The poors” I’m talking about are not poor in finances.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/22 12:37 AM
4

Even more scrutiny of personality disorders and unhealthy personalities for relationships, but probably less scrutiny for sex More pairing up according to similar interests and types Fewer relationships and more cheating Men’s standards for women’s sexual performance would go up More open and poly relationships More sex More STDs More men would get bored of casual sex More single parents Less prostitution People would have an easier time making friends
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/22 12:31 AM
4

“The poors only get what they deserve!” /s
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/22 12:25 AM
3

I’m not justifying that mindset, but it’s not the only time you see people act like this. Lots of men and women have observed that some women actually get scared off if a man starts talking about commitment early. This runs counter to the common complaint that there aren’t enough men looking to commit. The woman might get suspicious of why he’s so game to go all the way right off the bat. “Is he desperate? Is he hiding something? Is he acting like this because he lacks control in other areas?” I…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 11:03 PM
1

What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 10:18 PM
1

Fair enough
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 05:53 PM
4

I get that a lot of women experience that, but I think most women would not date that guy even if it was guaranteed that he would treat them nicely. Physical attraction matters to most modern women, and that’s normal. There’s also no guarantee that they would be attracted to his personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 05:37 PM
4

Fair enough, sorry that it didn’t work out. But I think it’s clear that physically unattractive men and women have disadvantages stemming from their traits. You didn’t answer the second question.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 05:25 PM
1

Good comment
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 05:21 PM
1

Good point
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 05:04 PM
1

I don’t agree with this. Lots of men seek therapy for actionable advice, which is stereotypically what we think of as “masculine.”
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 05:01 PM
1

Accurate
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 04:59 PM
6

Would you date a short, ugly-faced, well-groomed male feminist? Do you think most women would? If they wouldn’t, I don’t blame them. The guy just got shafted in the lottery.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 04:55 PM
13

He never said women are to blame. Many men and women play a part in ostracizing men who become vulnerable to incel ideology, but you assumed that he was talking about women who just don’t have sex with incels.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 04:25 PM
4

“And did women elect you their spokesperson... or are you just projecting your own insecurities onto women exactly like I pointed out in my original comment? I'm betting the latter.” You’re denying basic common sense. Preference for taller men is very common among women. “Plenty of short men out there doing fine with the ladies, but then those guys don't go around bitching that no woman will want them for being short. They walk tall because they aren't shooting their own feet off.” You’re moving…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 04:20 PM
5

Lmao! This was not intentional
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 04:04 PM
4

Bad bot You think the idea that women often select against short men is just something men project onto women. Delusional.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 04:01 PM
2

I think we risk alienating innocent and vulnerable young men when we paint young male anger as synonymous with mass murderers. It’s part of the problem, no doubt, but we can do better than oversimplification.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 04:01 PM
6

“It's partially societal. Taller people have proportions that are closer to fashion sketch and heroic Greek proportions and almost everyone agrees that humans look better with those proportions.” Men typically prefer for women to be shorter than them, though not necessarily short for a woman. It’s that fashion industry that strongly prefers tall women. Women prefer tall men much more than men prefer short or tall women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 03:02 PM
1

Is there any evidence that men prefer slim partners more than women do? I’m not saying there isn’t, I’m just curious.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 01:44 PM
10

I’ve never seen you reply to a post with any other conclusion besides “men made this up” or “men caused this” lol. You’re like an AI bot.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 01:19 PM
1

Yep
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 07:23 AM
3

Wtf
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 06:54 AM
3

That’s really sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 06:52 AM
5

How did that pipeline play out?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 06:45 AM
4

Interesting how this article thinks “mass murderer” is synonymous with any “angry young American male.” That’s definitely healthy. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 06:08 AM
3

You’re probably right
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 03:23 AM
5

You majorly misunderstood what I’m saying. Women are much more likely than men to have height standards that go beyond “my height or taller/shorter” and are based around magic numbers like 6 feet or 180cm. Women want men to be tall for a man more often than men want women to be short for a woman. In the US, a 6’0 woman is the equivalent of a 5’2 man. Who do you think would have the harder time finding willing partners?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 02:50 AM
4

“A good petite body meets that standard. Men unless they have a fetish want to be talker than their girlfriends, even when she is in heels.” Height preferences aren’t symmetrical across the sexes. Women are much more likely than men to prefer or require larger height differences or set magic numbers.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 11:39 PM
3

Same here. There’s lots of good ideas from both sexes on this sub, but they’re surrounded by utter toxicity
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 11:11 PM
-3

In your opinion, what do women “really value” much more or less than men typically know? If we’re talking about physical attractiveness (more), money (less), and commitment (less), having kids (less), then I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 08:29 PM
2

I wouldn’t leave my partner to be attacked by an assailant, I think a lot of women take for granted that they’re not expected to protect their partner the way that men are. In a situation like that, it’s acceptable for women to preserve their own lives while men are expected to give up theirs.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 07:46 PM
2

If you and a partner get attacked by an assailant who could possibly kill you and them, will you be the first one to try and fight them off? Like you said, it’d not that hard, right? And have you ever wanted to be with and stay with a man who’s slightly better than the average man?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 07:36 PM
2

Ask the average woman if she wants to be expected to fight off a physical assailant who could possibly kill her. When she tells you no, tell her “But why? It’s not actually that hard to be a Protector!” like you’ve said to men here. Lots of women would hate having the expectations that you have for men placed on them. And if we’re being honest, being physically attractive is a much more effective way to be sought out and valued by women than having all these traits is. These traits are high valu…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 07:17 PM
1

Bad boys tend to be socially dominant, overly disagreeable, and willing to gamble with other people’s safety. Having reasonable boundaries or liking kickboxing doesn’t make a man a bad boy. Some women dislike the idea of being with a guy who’s very agreeable, doesn’t lead her, and doesn’t take risks. Those are stereotypically feminine personality traits. These aren’t necessarily bad traits, but to many women, they’re sexually unattractive traits to find in a man. It doesn’t mean these women nece…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 06:30 PM
1

Oh please. Anyone who isn’t trying to be a contrarian can admit that there are bad boys and men who are generally good and kind along with men outside of those types.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 06:19 PM
3

I mostly agree with you. Maybe it’s my selection bias, but it seems like most of the women I see complaining on social media about dating, colorism in dating (which is real problem), or getting less attention because they’re overweight are also facially above-average, including the WOC. I rarely see visual social media posts about dating from slim, facially average to below-average women, much less black women. I think this makes some guys think that women who complain about dating are all speak…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 02:31 PM
3

100%
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 02:41 AM
2

“1. If you only care about a woman's youth and beauty and nothing else, you deserve to get played for your resources. I'm not even on some "it makes you a bad man" type of shit, but rather, I say this because it's just short-sighted and stupid.” True. “2. A relationship with a woman just for the sake of having one isn't worth it.” I kind of disagree with this one. Short term relationships and situationships are common and some people seem to get something out of them. I’m not just talking about …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 08:49 PM
1

😂
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 05:15 PM
1

Lmao! Didn’t expect to see this one
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 04:40 PM
1

Number 3 makes zero sense unless the cheater hid their relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 04:38 PM
4

This is excellent advice. Thanks for sharing!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 04:01 PM
5

That doesn’t disprove that women typically care about looks before personality too. Ask any of the women here if they’ll date and have sex with a 4’10 ugly guy with a good personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 02:32 PM
7

“I think this too. I'm a woman who dates women and there is something so satisfying about being able to say "hey, I got you" when it comes to paying for something. No, I can't break the bank. Yes, I do like to be appreciated for it in words and actions. But paying for a girl to do something with me and see her enjoy it and tell me how much she appreciates me? That's priceless.” Interesting POV. I think many men and women enjoy being able to provide, but dislike when it’s considered a bare minimu…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 02:26 PM
4

Name one of these generalizations of mine so we can talk about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 01:23 PM
4

Are you still mad at me for citing a study that says women typically care about looks before personality, and also saying that there’s nothing abnormal about that and men are the same way?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 12:48 PM
9

That “woman on PPD” = “all women.” Some PPD women (and men) have a tendency toward views that are less common or at least polarizing in the general population.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 12:33 PM
8

“Theoretical Chad isn’t the jerk men say he is. Men perceive him as a rival so they vilify him in an attempt to manipulate women into choosing them instead.” How does this square with examples like West Elm Caleb, who was vilified by the women who dated him and then mostly by other women across the internet? Are men supposed to believe that men who act like like that and are vilified by women aren’t really fuckboys? I think OP, who is not a redpiller (he’s probably a male feminist) and not jealo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 11:55 PM
2

There is no basis for what you’re saying. You have a compulsive need to blame men. You started off blaming men for the “bar” phrase, and when I explained that it was a handful of women who came up with the idea of a bar, you didn’t correct course at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 09:33 PM
3

How can you say “guys make up” the idea of a bar when the phrase “the bar is low” was created by some women on social media? Men typically don’t use this phrase except as a response. Do you have a thought on anything that doesn’t lead to “blame men”?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 06:27 PM
1

“Men are so stupid that they can’t tell a woman is interested because she looked at him” “Men are so stupid that they can’t tell a woman isn’t necessarily interested just because she looked at him” This confusion is a big reason why a lot of women hate the prospect of approaching themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 06:04 PM
3

This is true, but there are social hierarchies among the educated too. Looks, social skills and social status all matter even if you have a degree. A STEM guy who has good looks and okay social skills will not be held back much by their degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 05:55 PM
1

What does “sensitive” mean to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 05:39 AM
2

“Abundance =/= more chance of quality. I think more quality women (this is including dateability, not just appearance) exist than quality men, as a bisexual female and my experiences with dating.” How does abundance not mean more chance of quality? Most people are skimming off the top of the interest they get to find someone who fits their interests. A person being “quality” also doesn’t mean they’ll be mutually interested in you so you’re skimming off the top there too. Women also tend to have …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:21 PM
4

Finally, some honesty
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:01 PM
2

I don’t follow Jordan Peterson. I don’t know what he’s up to
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 06:22 PM
4

The standards they’re willing to say openly are low, but you’re being naïve to think that’s the extent or the foremost of their standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 06:13 PM
2

Who is “that woman”?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:56 PM
2

I didn’t say anything about Jordan Peterson…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 04:27 PM
2

Attraction to looks is much more universal than violent behavior. There’s nothing wrong with women or men being attracted to physical traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 03:31 PM
6

It does. A 5/10 man can usually get sincere attraction from women who are around 5/10 and below because they’ll most likely find him at least moderately attractive. He might go higher, but that’s less likely. A 7/10 man can usually get sincere attraction women who are around 7/10 and below and strong, fast attraction from 5/10 women. It’s not a strict law, but we can see trends. I know men and women who have dated more conventionally attractive people, but these instances are less common.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 03:20 PM
3

We’ve had this chat before. You can look farther down my thread with the other commenter for the links I posted.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 03:00 PM
1

“I literally just requoted it. didn't make anything of it” I’m not stupid lol, I know why you reposted that quote instead of the nearby ones that confirmed that looks come before personality. “Do you think all the difference in people’s preferences results in Danny Devito having as many women sexually attracted to him as Timothee Chalamet does?” “I never said anything to assume that.” You know that the vast majority of people would agree on Timothee being the more attractive one. “But, Danny has…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 02:58 PM
1

What kinds of men expect you to be a social butterfly? Mega extroverts?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 02:23 PM
3

The study backs up exactly what I was saying. “The study suggests that if a man is considered at least moderately attractive, then his personality matters to women, Fugère said. If a man is viewed as less than moderately attractive, it doesn't seem to matter as much to women what his personality is like, Fugère explained.” And you ignored this quote from the second article: “The conventional attractiveness of a mate is the number one predictor of how many messages someone gets, for both men and …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 02:22 PM
1

I knew you’d seize on that quote and make too much of it. Do you think all the difference in people’s preferences results in Danny Devito having as many women sexually attracted to him as Timothee Chalamet does?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 02:20 PM
5

What does that mean “I don’t see them getting chastised for it?” It’s much more acceptable to say things about short guys compared to saying things about someone’s skin color.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 02:15 PM
1

Not to the same extent. That’s like saying that slutshaming affects men and women equally just because women also judge men’s n counts.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 02:12 PM
2

https://www.livescience.com/58607-mens-looks-may-matter-more-than-personality.html “The study suggests that if a man is considered at least moderately attractive, then his personality matters to women, Fugère said. If a man is viewed as less than moderately attractive, it doesn't seem to matter as much to women what his personality is like, Fugère explained.” “But Fugère also added that "different people have different perceptions of what they consider to be moderately attractive." “In addition,…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 02:07 PM
3

Short man shaming is much more socially accepted and universal than those others (in the US). There are also more men with “short” height as defined by the shamers. Even 5’8 guys can get shamed in a country where the average height is 5’9-5’10. Short men who complain about the shaming are mocked and told that they have Napoleon complexes or that they’re incels.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 01:54 PM
1

“But womens standard vary so much lol” Yes, but on average, social awkwardness and passivity will hurt a straight man’s chances more than a straight woman’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 01:50 PM
14

In my opinion, physical standards are higher than the standards for everything else with both sexes. “Similar interests” and “treats me well” will not get someone as many options as being physically attractive will.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 01:36 PM
5

Even if being short won’t “kill” a man’s dating life, it puts him at a disadvantage, especially if he can’t make up for it by being blessed with a handsome face or extroversion. It also opens him up to a ton of bodyshaming, which has not been known to help people’s self-esteem, and self-esteem is even more important to men’s dating success than women’s. I’m not short fyi.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 01:25 PM
3

On the internet especially, I think people with strict standards tend to talk very loudly about them, so it adds to the impression that nothing has changed. It’s not like gender expectations have gone away, but there are more people breaking the mold than before. But at the same time, it’s also the case that a lot of men and women pick and choose some old world preferences when it suits them, so people aren’t entirely wrong to worry that they’ll be ruled out by those old world standards at some …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 01:15 PM
3

“There seems to be a lot confusion on this sub of combining ideas from the old dating world and the new dating world causing more socially awkward people like us try to follow both “rules” of dating and it fucks us up.” I feel the same way
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:45 PM
1

Women and men often build up social skills in different areas and there are couples where the woman or the man has overall better social skills. That being said, if a woman is lacking in social skills, it will probably hold her back less in dating than a man with a similar lack in social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:36 PM
19

“Which well above-average looking celebrity looks the best?”
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:59 AM
12

Almost forgot the “extremely high status rich guy who can pay for women to pretend to be into him” clause lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:50 AM
23

I get it now. A kind, ugly, well-dressed 5’4 feminist man who cooks and cleans and wants his woman to cum first will attract way more women than a charismatic, disrespectful 6’ handsome guy who won’t eat her out after demanding a blowjob. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 04:37 AM
6

My point was that you understand how having a relationship at least once doesn’t mean a woman is having a quality dating experience, but you think a man having sex at least once means he’s having a quality dating experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 04:19 AM
5

I don’t think you noticed my sarcasm
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 02:31 AM
8

The vast majority of women get sex and relationships. They must all be equally satisfied and dating interesting, kind, attractive men who want them, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 02:26 AM
6

I agree
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 01:52 AM
2

Thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 01:25 AM
3

Are you trying to tell us that women have higher requirements for things besides looks in casual sex compared to relationships? I’ve never heard any woman say that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 01:20 AM
1

Could you link the article?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 01:15 AM
1

“Ultimately, most men could be as handsome as Tom Cruise and be excellent, caring, husbands and boyfriends, yet this doesn't happen because they aren't willing to put out the effort.“ This is like saying that facially unattractive women just didn’t pull themselves up by their bootstraps as hard as facially attractive women. This account has to be a LARP “This is why you see so many men who blame their bad looks on genetics or their bad lives on mental health situations that are supposedly irrepa…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 01:00 AM
11

I need your help?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:39 AM
15

I think most people want to be their best selves to get comfort, excitement and validation. I’m not some incel and I have worked on myself with positive results, but I could’ve gotten a lot more comfort, excitement and validation if I were tall and hot without doing anything differently or even by doing less.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:35 AM
1

I’m not sure exactly what that graph is measuring, but a lot of that rising interest is probably due to RMV, not SMV.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:35 AM
18

The more realistic “guy with no sex drive” is probably a guy with a job that pays the bills enough for him to get an apartment, play videogames and hang out with his friends. People make fun of that guy all the time lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:30 AM
57

Do you think rich people wish they’d been born poor so they would’ve had to work harder?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 10:40 PM
11

That’s fair. I’m trying to say that turning 30 doesn’t automatically or universally make a guy’s SMV go up. If a guy has room to increase his SMV, and he happens to do it in his 30s, then his SMV will go up in his 30s by definition, not because turning 30 helped. There are lots of unsuccessful guys in their 30s too.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 10:15 PM
0

I don’t have an example for you. I’m saying that it’s completely possible to give good gender specific dating advice, but a lot of the channels that give gender specific dating advice also have toxic elements to them. I don’t need a youtube channel example to “prove” that good gender specific dating advice exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 08:12 PM
35

I don’t think so. A man’s “SMV” doesn’t go up in his 30s unless he hadn’t accessed his full potential in his 20s because he was fat, socially awkward or something else. His “RMV” will become more important in his 30s if he’s dating women around that age (but not more important than SMV).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 08:04 PM
0

“Man who gives male dating advice ≠ misogynistic asshole” “Can you link one who isn't?” Why do you need a link to “prove” something so obvious? Any guy with a solid guy friend or male relative can tell you that a man doesn’t have to be misogynistic to give good male dating advice. “If you're interacting with women/men in normal in person spaces you'll see both bad sexist people and fine normal people. If you're sexist RP/FDS that's on you, the fact that they're blaming other people doesn't mean …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 07:51 PM
0

“Yeah but then you get stuff like r/menslib where there’s a lot of good advice but anything that makes too many reddit feminists uncomfortable gets banned even if it’s not poorly-intentioned or misogynistic “Can I have an example, i don't know much about that sub” I searched “menslib ban” and found this “No I'm not, youre says that channels that talk ONLY about dating and ONLY for one gender are necessary and they just aren't” I was saying that people should make the channel they want to and you…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 07:42 PM
0

“Sending lost men to misogynistic assholes won't help.” Man who gives male dating advice ≠ misogynistic asshole “And not interacting with women in the first place is what caused problems for them” Sometimes interacting with the wrong women causes problems for them too. Lots of TRPers cite misandrist women as their reason for becoming RP. Many FDSers say the same thing about misogynist men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 07:36 PM
0

“I'm not making anything. I'm saying it isn't necessary to focus on it. And you haven't given any reason to why it is.” Should we expect a woman or man who knows a little something about dating in their experience to know everything about dating as the opposite sex? “Well, im also yet to see a feminist who claims their content is "for women" and isn't dumb. You can be a feminist and make content for everyone and include men in the discourse” Yeah but then you get stuff like r/menslib where there…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 06:26 PM
1

I agree with you 100%
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 06:03 PM
0

“I'm not deciding anything, all I'm saying is that a need can be meet by people who also fo other things. Acting like that's not a possibility is just dumb.” You’re the only one making a stink about a channel choosing to be topically specific or generalist. People watch videos that address their specific problem. Does your insistence that there’s no need for any gender specific advice also apply to feminist content? “And I can see you haven't found a channel” Didn’t I say 2 or 3 times already th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 05:58 PM
0

Well then who “needs” to make any youtube advice channel? Who decides? You? Do we need all advice channels to be people who can talk about dating advice and how to change a tire? Like I said, the need for gender specific dating advice is there even if a lot of the people trying to meet that need are sketchy. You’re trying to use the second part to dismiss the first part.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 04:59 PM
2

By “it” do you mean dating? Why shouldn’t someone make their channel about dating if they want to do that? Dr. K makes the videos he wants to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 04:49 PM
1

The need is there even if many of the people trying to meet that need are sketchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 04:43 PM
2

“I'm yet to see any yt channels that call themselves "for men" or "for women" that aren't either toxic or just dumb.” There’s some truth to this sadly. “Most good things apply to everyone” It depends on the topic. Job advice doesn’t need to be as gendered as dating advice. A lot of dating advice is good for both sexes, but men and women need certain advice more than the other on average. If you’re an average man, you need to operate differently than an average woman does. Most women probably are…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 04:34 PM
1

What did you deserve and why?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 04:27 PM
1

As someone under 30 who was allowed to play outside without supervision, I don’t think that makes much difference if any. By the age that most people are dating, having supervision to play outside isn’t a concern. I think looks and extroversion are much more important, especially as time goes on.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 02:46 PM
1

She didn’t write “men care about looks more.” You’re acting like she said something she didn’t say. She said women don’t overemphasize looks and only men do, which is an absurd generalization given that many women do overemphasize looks. I’m not a TRPer anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 05:11 AM
4

“4 day or 4 month old comments, I’ll reply as long as the thread is open. Nobody, you-or-her should be internalizing comments they see online.” You make way too many salty rants on PPD to convince me that you don’t internalize anything from the internet. “Like, go outside and touch grass.” You just tried to tell me earlier that women never overprioritize looks like men do and then had to backtrack to admitting that women do. You’re the last person who should be telling anyone to touch grass lol.…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 05:18 AM
6

“If the internet has such as strong-hold over you to the point where you’re internalizing comments from strangers, than maybe you should get off of it? Are you so dense that you can’t see that I the person I was responding to was internalizing things she sees online and I was pointing out that she’s part of that cycle as much as most people on this sub? Why are you replying to my 4 day old comment? “I don’t like, date or deal with men under 6 ft & that’s not about to change because it hurts your…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 05:00 AM
2

Exactly
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 03:38 AM
6

Look at those goalposts move. From this: “Women don’t over-emphasize looks, men do” To this: “If women over-emphasized on being attractive, 9/10 they learned their lesson and now pay attention or red-flags.” No one asked if they learn their lesson after doing it. Not all of them do anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 03:14 AM
6

I could move on to examples of full grown women doing the same thing, but you’ll have some other excuse. I need to stop acting like you’d ever admit to being wrong lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 03:01 AM
2

https://nypost.com/2013/05/12/smitten-teen-girls-stir-up-freejahar-mania-for-boston-marathon-bombings-suspect/
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 02:50 AM
13

I am dumbfounded by this response. PPD never fails to amaze me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 02:33 AM
12

“Women don’t over-emphasize looks, men do” Lmao this is delusional. You’ve never seen the “When you see he has red flags, but he’s over 6 feet” memes (posted by women, not men)? Both sexes do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 02:28 AM
1

So your theory is that the woman who gave him a bad blowjob is actually amazing at giving blowjobs, but she only pretended to be bad at it to avoid possibly being called a slut?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 02:18 AM
1

Not taking a side here, but I think it’s important to make a distinction between heterosexual and homosexual sex. If you’ve lived your whole life having a penis or a vagina, pleasing another one in homosexual sex will come to you much more easily. If you’re having heterosexual sex, you have to figure out equipment that you’ve never had.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 07:37 PM
1

Is it possible that your male friends are more conventionally attractive than average and your female friends are more proactive about dating than average?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 04:11 PM
2

How is it not true that men are typically expected to make the first move?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 07:03 AM
4

No one would say that a man “made the first move” by laughing at a woman’s jokes, because it’s not making the first move.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 06:57 AM
1

You’re tall.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 06:37 AM
2

I’m not saying that men can’t improve their odds, but I think they should prepare themselves to be able to approach due to the way the dating market is. And maybe, as they improve their looks, they’ll be lucky enough that at least one woman approaches them first too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 05:23 AM
12

The ability to rely on approaches isn’t gonna happen for most men anytime soon. Women will continue to mostly approach guys who are good looking or tall or, on rare occasions, men who are at least significantly more attractive than they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 05:17 AM
5

More good-looking than they were before? Yeah. Good-looking enough to expect approaches from women? No.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 05:12 AM
11

Only good-looking guys can rely on this strategy. It’s not good strategy for most men. Approaching women probably won’t prevent the once in a blue moon approach from a woman from happening if it ever happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 05:06 AM
16

“I think that men should maybe lay off on approaching women and see what happens.” I’m happy for you, but I don’t think men should rely on this strategy unless they’re good-looking lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 05:04 AM
8

Women who have the guts to ask a guy out and risk rejection don’t need hints.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 04:50 AM
7

You approached and you’re “desperate”? Well I approached and I’m a “creep” even if I was respectful. Most people don’t care if that makes me feel bad, certainly not you lol. Take the advice you’d give me and approach someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 04:45 AM
1

You added in the “ranting” part later. We don’t live in a world where only relationships that you approve make people any happier. I think you’re making this all about the worst case scenarios so you don’t have to admit that these unhappy guys are not all insane people waiting to slit their wrists and some of them would be at least a bit happier if they got in a relationship, even if it ended and it wasn’t completely healthy. I’m not saying that those relationships would all be the right thing t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 04:33 AM
2

That is true of many
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 04:09 AM
1

You said these unhappy men are all insane and that all of them would end up unhappier if they got in a relationship because they’d be dumped. I don’t think you can back up such absolute claims. They would have a variety of outcomes. Some would be unhappier and others would probably end up happier than they were before, or at least no more unhappy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 04:00 AM
1

Your current point is just the result of you moving the goalposts after I said relationships do make some people happier. Not all the unhappy men here are insane even though some of them are. Damaged or lonely men and women get in relationships all the time, especially if they’re attractive, and many of them are happier while they’re in that relationship. I never said the relationship will be perfect or everlasting.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 03:39 AM
1

The same can be said about friends and family for people with bad ones
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 01:49 AM
1

“I mean you can read some truly nutty rants from men here. And if you read their other comments? Oh boy. They're even worse.” I never said there are no insane men on this sub. You were saying that all the unhappy people on this sub are insane, which helps you rest easy believing that bad things only happen to insane or bad people. “A lot of people here think everything would be wonderful if someone would just give them a chance but no one will because all women are shallow harpies who want Chad …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 01:27 AM
1

The people we actually want typically have more value, and therefore, higher demands, than many of the people we don’t want. You could date a guy who doesn’t care if you’re accomplished, but you probably wouldn’t want him.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 01:11 AM
1

I don’t think that’s true, but I bet many are.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 12:54 AM
1

No, but what is there that can cure insanity instantly? You didn’t answer my question even after I humored you enough to accept your premise that all the unhappy people on this sub are insane lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 12:53 AM
1

How attractive are you? Have you ever had depressive personality traits that you needed to work on, or have you been emotionally stable for most of your life? Are you financially stable and if so, were you ever financially unstable?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 12:50 AM
1

Do you think all insane people are happiest without sex and relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 12:17 AM
2

How do you know they’d be worse off after getting dumped, assuming that they get dumped?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 11:28 PM
3

Do you think your friend, who’s also well-educated and sounds like she’s on track to a high-paying job, will have any trouble getting validation, sex or another bf when she wants them? Does she have to worry about where her next meal is coming from or how to pay her bills?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 11:18 PM
1

Although people can work on themselves, people with less anxious personalities are more likely to be happy. There’s probably a guy living in a slum in a repressive country who’s happier than I am because he’s less anxious than I am. But would I trade places with him? Hell no. I would still be anxious but I would also be living in a slum in a repressive country, which would make me even more anxious. Also, the fact that financially stable people can be happy or unhappy doesn’t mean that financial…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 11:02 PM
1

Oh please lol what does this even mean
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 10:39 PM
1

Interesting hot take
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 10:38 PM
0

Since lesbians are loving the sex, then why wouldn’t they be having more of it if they were just as consistently horny as men on average? Another study I learned about said that lesbian couples were much more likely than gay and straight couples to report a week of no sex. In another, lesbian couples were much less likely than gay and straight couples to report having sex at least 3 times a week. I’m not saying that there aren’t lots of very horny women. There are just more very horny men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 10:28 PM
5

She’s an FDSer, big surprise lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 10:21 PM
1

“•A clean home” This suggestion is funny to me. I think men are less likely to be conditioned to care if the home is clean. They’re probably not getting a wife for the sake of having a clean home.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 10:19 PM
0

Lower sex drives and higher availability of opportunities for sexual/romantic intimacy. Lesbians have less sex than gay men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 10:17 PM
0

According to cultural norms, a woman using a sex toy is empowered and showing that she doesn’t need a man, but man using a sex toy instead of his hands is a creepy loser who can’t get women.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 10:12 PM
1

Assortative mating is still very common, but both things can happen at the same time. Because of gender expectations, men are more likely to prefer or accept someone at or below their level and women are more likely to prefer or accept someone at or above their level.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 10:07 PM
4

There are lots of horny women, but men are more likely to be horny on average. Lesbians have less sex than gay men
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 10:00 PM
3

Have you heard of assortative mating? Most people date and marry within their class and educational level.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 09:52 PM
0

A fun, extroverted, handsome, tall alcoholic who blows money and has a temper when he’s drunk would attract way more women than a responsible, boring, introverted, average-looking short guy who cooks, cleans the house and would make a good dad. Some men have the best of both worlds, but being exciting in ways that aren’t “important” helps a lot for male success.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 09:49 PM
0

It’s like those memes that say things like “when you see red flags, but he’s taller than 6 feet”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 09:33 PM
6

“The girl who digs jerks? Odds are good that she is a jerk herself.” This can be true, but sometimes she just has low self-esteem, attachment issues, or hopes that she can change an attractive guy who showed interest and charm but also isn’t good for her. On top of that, women are more likely then men to sexually prefer strength and dominance, so that can narrow the dating pool in favor of men who are dominant in the wrong ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 06:24 PM
2

“Really? Men and some women slut shame and ostracize women who are generous with men. Women can’t risk fucking men at school, at work, and have to be super cautious among social circles, too. A male stud is a female whore. Social repercussions are nearly as concerning as physical repercussions when it comes to dating and sex, for women.” I see what you’re saying. I was thinking about other ways that some women consider men’s status, like looks and height, his social standing or her friends’ appr…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 05:09 PM
4

“Yeah, but "attractive enough" is missing the point. Everyone has a different idea of what is attractive and chemistry and charisma can make up for all sorts of physical quirks and deficits.” To a limited extent. Most women will agree on not wanting to date a 4’10 fat ugly guy with a great personality. “Maybe "There’s lots of men and women who show little to no red flags but without chemistry, rapport, and mutual attraction, the green flags aren't sufficient for a romantic or sexual relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 04:54 PM
3

“I dunno. I think a lot of men feel their sex drive is such an overwhelming influence, they don't understand the caution that women apply due to concerns about health and social status.” Yes, but that doesn’t mean men never think about those things. And I think most people know that women have more turnoffs about most things even when safety isn’t concerned. I’m surprised that you mentioned social status haha. I agree. “I think a lot of men will fuck anything that moves and some things which don…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 04:41 PM
3

There’s nothing wrong with rejecting someone if you’re not interested. You sound like you would try to be kind about it if they’re kind to you, so that’s good.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 03:56 PM
6

Why do so many people on this sub downplay how much women like hot people because they’re hot? It’s normal. And personality matters for women too even if some baseline of looks is most important, just like it usually is for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 03:54 PM
10

People don’t just date the person with the least red flags. They typically look for people they’re attracted to and then try to find the least red flaggy person in that category who will have them. There’s lots of men and women who show little to no red flags but aren’t attractive enough to the person counting.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 03:46 PM
2

Good points
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 03:32 PM
4

This. Women are more likely to be turned off by underconfidence than men are because of gender expectations, so why wouldn’t some women (not all) put up with or even enjoy an attractive cocky guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 03:30 PM
6

It’s funny how some people on this sub will tell regular men that “Chads” aren’t real even as very attractive men are treated like gods in daily life by women. Very attractive women experience the same thing with men. I’m not redpill, but I’m not stupid either. Sure, a lot of the men on here are out of their minds, but let’s not kid ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 03:16 PM
6

“Nobody likes cocky people. Confident, not cocky.” Most people prefer confident over cocky, but some people are attracted to cockiness and even more people will at least put up with cockiness in an attractive person
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 02:55 PM
1

“If he'd like to discuss its fine, but ge specifically tagged it as CMV.” Exactly “Tho the facial attractiveness fixation is making me think of a certain color pill... associated with a colour associated with the Pokemon Zekrom. 🤔” Does that disprove that facial attractiveness is very important?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 01:13 PM
2

Being “mentally healthy” means sticking your fingers in your ears in a sub where “debate” is in the name?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 04:01 AM
1

In your opinion, what would a dating app with a psychology favoring women look like?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 02:53 AM
2

It’s not the cultural norm, but it happens a lot, mostly to very attractive men. Many women don’t approach because they believe that they can’t, they’re selective or they’re scared of rejection. Women approaching isn’t encouraged to the same extent, but trust me that if you were a man online, you would hear reasons why you shouldn’t approach women, and how rude and creepy you men are for approaching women who are just trying to go about their day. Most women don’t enjoy being approached by men w…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/22 03:43 PM
5

“Does that mean dating is necessarily easier? Women are just expected to wait and hope for an offer which may take a very long time in coming. It's very difficult to have any control over that.” It’s 2022. You don’t have to do that unless you’re immersed in a backwards culture that would probably discourage premarital sex too. Tons of women are making and receiving offers at the same time.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/22 02:12 AM
5

He didn’t ask a question though. And both OP and you don’t mention how people of both sexes have played a role in propelling these generalizations to the opposite sex and amongst their own sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 10:02 PM
6

“It’s what they tell us” is an easy way to leave out the stereotyping and lack of empathy that a lot of men and women show toward each other isn’t it? There are women who listen selectively to some men and other women, and there are men who listen selectively to some women and other men. Lots of redpillers are men who reduce women to what a portion of women do, and if these men are called out on that, they’ll refer the blame to those women alone. There are some women who use the same tactics tow…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 09:47 PM
5

To be fair to you both, OP seemed to be stating an opinion rather than asking a question, but you’re right that a lot of the women who say those things are responding to what they hear from toxic men, even if they’re wrong to generalize. OP is feeding into the generalizations as well by blaming all women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 09:12 PM
9

I’m not saying that any of these things are justified. I’m just observing and disappointed in what’s happening. Lots of men (including OP) and women on here are blaming the whole opposite sex for the things that a toxic, vocal group of women and men say. They react and keep the cycle going. The internet gives these toxic beliefs even more of a platform.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 08:54 PM
25

You can also find women online who say men under 6’ are useless, that men are trash, or that men should never approach women. The most toxic people on the internet are hard to forget, and that damages the way a lot of men and women interact.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 08:48 PM
1

Lol I know I’m not that kind of guy, so you’re not teaching me anything by wanking yourself off about it. If I was that kind of guy, I would know. You’re probably a far above average looking man. Once you’re in the upper tier of looks, the differences in attention between men and women are lessened, though the balance still probably skews toward women. But most men and women are not in the upper tier. Below the upper tier, straight women get more attention than straight men. Some guys have poste…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 03:21 PM
3

This was only one study, but the researchers found that the women and men they sampled were similarly likely to dislike a high n-count in a potential partner. However, I think the average woman dislikes inexperienced men more than the average man dislikes inexperienced women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 05:56 AM
1

It doesn’t sound like you actually think “both.” When a man is subtle in approaching women, people say that he’s too passive and cowardly to do the work himself. On the other hand, lots of women complain about men who thought they saw a signal where there wasn’t one.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 08:43 PM
1

Do you think those women would date a virgin guy? They’re probably not saying anything they don’t believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 08:26 PM
8

Good points. Many people shame others out of the belief that having worth means you’re a good person. There are high worth men and women who are awful or even evil.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 08:06 PM
1

https://media.istockphoto.com/photos/casual-overweight-man-smile-picture-id174800642?k=6&m=174800642&s=612x612&w=0&h=FDwHTgeQ40Uc_c0PjqlJ41tVdRAQG185ib7ulinww34=
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 07:59 PM
4

Lots of people whine about being single but are still high value because they’re good looking or high status.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 07:23 PM
1

If you actually would date that guy, you are very uncommon
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 07:21 PM
1

I did say most, not all.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 07:15 PM
1

It’s not incel mentality and I didn’t say looks are the end all be all. Looks are very important even if they aren’t everything. Would you date or have sex with a 4’8 ugly guy who had a great personality? Most women would not. If the same man were 5’8 and handsome, many more women would be willing to date him.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 07:14 PM
1

Not every woman would be attracted to young Brad Pitt, but the majority of women he met would be, and compared to other men, more women would be strongly attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 06:24 PM
1

A guy can get called an “incel” just for saying that most women care about looks before personality just like most men do. Incels didn’t come up with that even if they talk about it a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 06:18 PM
1

Looks like they’re doing better than incels
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 06:10 PM
1

Most women and men are attracted to very conventionally attractive people, but they can be attracted to people below the highest levels. They’re more likely to be attracted to less attractive people if they are around or below that level themselves because of what they think they can get.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 06:09 PM
1

What do you think “Chad” is? A 6’4, very good-looking male feminist who dresses sort of feminine is a “Chad.” Chad is just looks. Women can be attracted to men who aren’t “Chads,” but most women prefer a guy who is at least slightly above average looking if they can get and keep one. People’s standards can change based on what they can get, and that’s often influenced by their own attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 05:56 PM
1

Men's Looks Matter More Than Women Admit, Study Shows “The study suggests that if a man is considered at least moderately attractive, then his personality matters to women, Fugère said. If a man is viewed as less than moderately attractive, it doesn't seem to matter as much to women what his personality is like, Fugère explained.“ “But Fugère also added that "different people have different perceptions of what they consider to be moderately attractive."” “In addition, the findings demonstrated t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 05:45 PM
2

You’re misunderstanding me. I’m saying that some men get called incels for saying things that actually aren’t “incel” opinions. I already mentioned above that saying most women, like men, care about physical attractiveness before personality can get a man labelled an incel, despite that it’s just reality regardless of what incels think.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 05:39 PM
2

A fucked up part of life is that shitty people can get away with a lot if they’re better at hiding it or they’re desired enough to power through accountability.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 05:35 PM
4

True
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 05:28 PM
5

If misogynist men can’t get in LTRs with women, then how are men who are domestic abusers and cheaters able to do it? And sometimes the misogynist guy is the one who prevents things from progressing to an LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 05:21 PM
5

“Yes. So if you are a misogynist, you get called an incel.” Guys get called incels when they express certain opinions that the other person thinks are incel opinions even if the opinions are not misogynistic or incel. Even saying that most women, like men, care about looks before personality can get a guy called an incel. “Self-identified incels are always misogynist.” There’s actually a minority of non-misogynist incels, but most of the self-identified incels I come across are misogynists.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 05:12 PM
5

I’ve seen this exchange play out multiple times with the guy responding that he has a girlfriend or that he’s at least sexually active. And sometimes the guy wasn’t actually saying anything misogynistic. Lots of misogynist guys can attract women anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 05:03 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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