oktyca Archive

Upvotes	Title	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
35	The unexplainable pain	oktyca	/r/Divorce_Men	19/04/21 03:40 AM
13	My Wife The Bank Robber	oktyca	/r/Divorce_Men	10/01/20 02:41 AM
1	Fuck the societal norms and fuck all of you	oktyca	/r/Divorce_Men	09/05/21 05:56 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
6	The unexplainable pain I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. When I was a month into this craziness, all I could do was think about the good times. My mind only wanted to focus on the positive times, almost to torment me with the times I would never have again. I've come to terms with that mindset and realized it just meant I truly loved her and always wanted to see her in the best light. This quote from Alan Cohen really helped me. I hope it gives you a way to reshape the good times and make them hurt a little …	/r/Divorce_Men	20/04/21 01:44 AM
4	The unexplainable pain It's good to see how you are moving forward even when things are not perfect. I'm getting better at doing the same, but have a long way to go. As for reliving the past, I agree, but I try to take a different approach based off of this quote from Alan Cohen. It may be a pie in the sky mindset, but it's a refreshing approach. "If you look back with remorse and devalue experiences because they did not last forever or bring you to where you wanted to end up, you miss the gift of the experience. A da…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/04/21 01:37 AM
1	Needing a man’s perspective It's a fine line between midlife crisis and changing your individual priorities. At the end of the day, you only have one life to live and if you feel you are not getting what you want/need, some people will end up making radical decisions. Unfortunately, not fully considering the ramifications to those around them. His "being in love" with you is most likely overshadowed by his need for change. I'm sure you've heard it before and I struggle with it everyday, but you cant control how a person fe…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/04/20 05:56 PM
5	Wife Wants $18k to Walk Away - should I take it? Depending on the state you live in, she is entitled to 4.5k of your 18k, since you saved 9k during the course of the marriage. What did she save during the course of the marriage? Because you are entitled to half of that. Can you get ahead of her causing an issue at work and let your employer know what she said and that you dont want any issues?	/r/Divorce_Men	08/03/20 02:29 AM
2	How did you tell your friends and family about your decision to get a divorce This was one of the hardest things for me to do, specifically telling my parents. I wasnt as concerned as much of the lack of support, but instead how I would have just disappointed them. They truly love my wife and think she is an amazing person. I felt like I was going to crush them with this news of divorce. I also felt immense guilt that with this looming divorce, I wasnt on a path to give them grandchildren. To be clear, they never pressured me for grandchildren but they were really good pa…	/r/Divorce_Men	07/03/20 04:02 AM
1	My Wife The Bank Robber Good luck brother. I hope everything works out in your favor.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/01/20 05:13 PM
2	My Wife The Bank Robber I understand the reasons the law is the way it is, but it really does sting for guys like us arent deadbeat, but dont want to pony up to someone because they decided to break their promise. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this as well.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/01/20 05:12 PM
1	My Wife The Bank Robber Thanks for stating this Brokenbyher. I'm sorry to hear how long it has taken for you to "normalize". This is definitely the worse situation I've had to endure in my life and I know it isnt even one billionth as bad as it could be. I'm trying to look at this as a business that failed and now I have to clean up the mess before I can move on. I guess it should really be "Till death do us part, or until she decides she wants to leave and take your earned money with her".	/r/Divorce_Men	13/01/20 05:09 PM
2	My Wife The Bank Robber I understand what she is entitled to and I dont think I'm bitching. I'm just asking for opinions, hoping someone has experienced something similar and walked away not forking over hundreds of thousands of dollars to someone who can support themselves without issue. I'm realizing that is finding a needle in a haystack.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/01/20 05:03 PM
2	It's my fault, but can I save it? sorry I meant to respond inline to your last comment. still new to this reddit thing.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/01/20 02:44 PM
2	It's my fault, but can I save it? That's great Chemsys, just make sure you are changing those things because they are things that YOU want to change for yourself. If you are changing solely for someone else you arent being true to yourself and those changes will never last. I understand not wanting to directly tell her you are making these changes for her, but there is nothing wrong in telling her that you are making changes and you want to do it for yourself. As someone who spent significant time in marriage counseling, I can t…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/01/20 02:41 PM
4	It's my fault, but can I save it? I was in a similar situation where I needed to prove to my wife that I could be the person she wanted or it was over. I mistakenly told her i would change all these thing and be the person she wanted. I did change and she had noticed the progress. The problem was in changing all these things I realized I needed her to change things as well. It became this one way street where I was trying to do what she wanted, but as soon as I asked her to do something it fell on deaf ears. if you are going to …	/r/Divorce_Men	10/01/20 01:36 PM
5	My Wife The Bank Robber Thank you stating the obvious. So much for believing her when she said if anything ever happened she would be able to take care of herself.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/01/20 04:17 AM
1	My Wife The Bank Robber from what I've read she can still go after the money I've made during the marriage even if it is not in a joint account.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/01/20 04:07 AM
-1	My Wife The Bank Robber This is all true, I know I could bounce back. Honestly, my job and my marriage are causing me all kinds of physical and mental health problems. If she wants out of the marriage, I just want her to leave me the money I made. then I can quit my job, move and start over.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/01/20 04:03 AM