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oldcamembert Archive

View 0 posts and 261 comments by oldcamembert on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

It's OK and very natural to be insecure, and it is of course healthy to make your partner aware of your insecurities and sometimes seek reassurance. What is not OK is to make your partner the manager of your insecurities.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/23 06:49 AM
12

That's the exact attitude of my current boyfriend, it does wonders for my self-esteem and also is very attractive - confidence and secure masculinity is very sexy. Tall women are indeed likely less heightist. Firstly, it just is not very rational to disqualify a significant proportion of male population outright. Secondly, we do empathise with height insecurities for obvious reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 08:05 PM
27

She's on a taller side for a woman though. I am 5'10", I am genuinely most attracted to men around my height plus-minus an inch or two, my current boyfriend is shorter. But I am indeed more cautious around shorter men - almost every tall-ish girl has had a bad experience with a shorter guy who was so insecure about his height that it became a number one thing in the relationship, and eventually completely ruined everything. When you have flat shoes you cannot wear because their sole is 2mm thick…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 07:32 PM
1

Yes, it was the brilliance of his mind (specifically, in mathematics).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 03:40 PM
2

In my experience, the diversity of fit female bodies is much higher than male ones. I know probably a dozen female personal trainers (so, ultra-fit women who are actually able to make money of being fit) and I can totally see a man being very into one of them and very not into another. Ranging from powerlifter types with or without a solid layer of fat, to muscly gymnasts, to runners, to dainty yoga and ballerina types. I have visible muscles (eg triceps well defined when not flexed, abs with...…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 03:50 AM
4

"Single mother hedonistic life" lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 01:46 PM
1

My dad is exactly the same. I just recently realised how bad it is, as my parents live with me now and my mum is unwell, so I am expected to pick up a lot of "womanwork" for my dad and tbh it really gets on my nerves. I don't even want to describe the exact detail (but yes, ranging from doctor appointments to bus pass renewals) as it sounds completely bizarre that a grown man needs almost toddler-level supervision. He doesn't even know their POSTCODE for the address they lived at for 40 years. J…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 04:46 PM
1

No way for me, but then, I was born and lived a bit under actual communism. For me, both far right and far left views in the modern Western world just indicate some serious immaturity in the development of critical reasoning skills. Same lack of attraction as for very young looking guys - I don't want to guess if they are competent to consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 06:21 AM
1

What completely blows my mind is this picture of Eastern European women frequently presented on PPD. I am genuinely interested where it comes from, speaking as an Eastern European woman, who has lived in quite a few ex-Warsaw pact and ex-USSR countries. Female emancipation in the USSR, for example, happened much, much earlier than in the West - both my grandmothers worked full time in professional jobs, earned similar to my grandfathers, and were allowed just a few weeks of maternity leave. It w…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 06:02 AM
0

Agree in general, only that central preparation / processing of food in this scenario (ie not for profit food as basic human right) would certainly be more cost and time efficient compared to cooking at home from raw ingredients. From the economic perspective, the latter is a luxury, not the former.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 09:39 AM
1

The rest is fine, it was the jiggle bit that probably was too much for the public eye
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/23 10:02 AM
1

Just spreading the knowledge, that's what i was taught to use as a base for triage when first responding to a mass casualty event. In the context where you lack time and/or knowledge and/or resource to evaluate the injury better, assume that stabbed individuals have a worse outlook than shot individuals. This is not in the US though, in a country where guns are banned and even the police are unarmed, but a lot of gun crime is replaced by knife crime. I googled the US stats, it seems to be roughl…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/23 05:16 AM
1

In terms of survival odds, shot is a much better option (at least that's what they teach in emergency first aid courses).
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/23 04:54 AM
1

Yeah, man, that sounded a bit creepy tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 03:50 PM
-1

The gambler's fallacy has nothing to do with the game theory, though, it is a different branch of mathematics. And game theory is quite widely used in real life applications. Back to the original argument - at no point have I said that life is fair or that the game is symmetric. You seem to be arguing here against a point you have made yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 03:49 PM
9

Well, that was exactly my point - that it is much harder to generalise for women. The gap in body fat % is somewhere between +5% to +10%, but there's no guarantee that a particular woman will see her six-pack even if carrying biologically minimum fat %. I understand that the certainty is much higher for men. Let's forget "abs" for the moment, as it is quite specific (and, tbh I am myself not a big fan of the look aesthetically), and think generally of a "fit" body. I go to a few different gyms a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 01:36 PM
2

I agree. My original issue was that I find the very axiomatics of the red pill contradictory (if it is taken seriously, i.e. as a scientific grade theory that attempts to explain some observed phenomenon). If you look at it as just a collection of personal anecdotal experiences with some creative overlay, then sure - it is entertaining enough, and maybe even quite insightful in some areas.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 09:27 AM
2

Not buying your last point. The game is a game, it is what it is, a fact, a chess board, and a set of rules. The strategy that consistently leads to a win for Player 1 in this case is a rational strategy, no matter how irrational it appears to Player 2. The symmetry of the game doesn't matter. A batshit insane strategy would actually be the one where Player 1 starts from the position of advantage and... loses.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 09:09 AM
4

I don't follow your counter argument tbh. What does the bell curve prove, women's irrationality? Who are the select few who have many wins?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 08:52 AM
11

For women, it does depend on the build (not sure if it is genetics or early childhood development) very much, the body fat percentage vs shape is not as straightforward. I (female) have a very visible abs and muscle definition at ~18%-19% body fat (I have regular dxa scans due to some genetic issues with bone density, and these measure fat % as well), and I am quite far from "slim" in terms of overall shape, rather on the "chubby" side. I also have female friends who are amazing endurance athlet…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 08:24 AM
10

I read this sub mainly because the realities described by many (mainly male) participants on here is so far away from what I observe daily around me, it could well be a different universe. So quite curious how people come to this mindset. What gets me, though, and what I could not add up so far is the logical consistency. The Red Pill, from my lay observer perspective, has two quite key beliefs. They manifest in different forms, but probably could be summarised as: (1) women are intrinsically ir…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 07:49 AM
2

Do you tend to meet a lot of women who belong to this last category? I am below average myself, have friends who span the whole range between below average to front-page model and, honestly, it is not the mindset I recognise at all, at all levels of attractiveness. But then my circle of friends is also much older and those who wanted to settle down, already have done so. Maybe we're just much more cynical, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/23 07:19 AM
1

Was intended to be :)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/23 06:45 AM
2

Your whole theory relies on an assumption that in case of casual consensual sex between mismatched parties, the man is a user, and the woman is being used. If casual sex and no obligation pleasure is exactly what the woman is after, why would it make sense for her to go after a man who is a 6 compared to a man who is a 10, assuming the effort in getting either is pretty much the same?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/23 06:43 AM
3

Oh I agree, but without the religious component. Kind of an agnostic monastery. Maximum, a statue of Richard Dawkins in the courtyard and some low-effort daily adoration rituals.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/23 08:24 AM
3

If he can do handstands, I am pretty sure he cried more than once whilst learning how to lol. I myself cracked handstands only last month, so I personally would be quite impressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 08:42 PM
1

Clearly the term was invented by someone who actually never owned a golden retriever lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 11:03 AM
-7

Then I'll better believe a sub mod (real expertise there!) than ZSU's own statistics that says that over a fifth of active duty personnel are female. As well as, you know, my own eyes and statistics from my own circle. Men are not forced to be there. There has been no forced mobilisation so far. No need, there are more volunteers than vacancies.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 01:15 PM
3

With young Indian men there's another catch that is cultural. Most of my coursemates went on to have arranged marriages with women from India that parents / matchmakers found for them. Even those who are second generation, ie born in the UK. In several cases their long-term, live-in Western partners (with a dog, mortgage etc) learned about the marriage AFTER it "just happened" when the guy went back home for a holiday.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 10:23 AM
-1

I suggest you go and check out how many women are serving in the Ukrainian armed forces before posting shit like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 10:04 AM
-1

Err... well, yes, they are two different ethnicities.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/22 11:20 AM
1

Ah. Now that you explained it in kardashians references, everything is clear to me. In my area, I just love working with grad students who did a couple of weeks of reading and understood completely how it works.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/22 09:25 AM
1

Whoa. I gather this is all based on the personal experience of working in research with economists, astrophysicists and linguists AND understanding their areas better than them? Well, hat off to you, that's an impressive spectrum to cover.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/22 08:13 AM
3

It is multi-ethnic. Zelensky himself is Jewish.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/22 08:09 AM
2

Zelensky is not Slavic
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/22 05:36 AM
3

Well, I don't have a favourite linguist or love any specific theory as it is not my core area, but have worked quite a lot with professional linguists in the past, me being on the maths / stats leg of some projects. I was invariably impressed by the quality of people in the area, for me they definitely qualify as "brainy", not "think they are brainy". As to the falsifiability - the same restrictions as with any other applied non-experimental area of study apply, from economics to astrophysics.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/22 09:47 PM
3

Out of interest, why is linguistics in the same category as gender studies? Modern linguistics is technical to the extent that it pretty much is an applied maths discipline. Well, what I have seen, anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/22 09:10 PM
3

I don't think you'll find any absolute truths here, OP. For me, nothing can be sexier than a pure maths degree. Physics also has a certain pull. Other than that, it can be anything from accounting to zoology to gender studies, ie pretty much neutral as to the added oomph.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/22 08:26 PM
5

Haha do it, there's always space for more bright people in the industry!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 05:47 PM
11

I meant that you are showing the fallacy in your reasoning when you are surprised that - statistically - "John who plays tennis" is preferred to "John who plays tennis and is dominant". Because the second John is actually a specific subset of the first John, and (for example, as one possible explanation) repels women who are not into dominant men. Does it make sense now?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 05:33 PM
10

It is a genuinely good question, and you formulate it well. The answer to this conundrum is known, and is called "Conjunction Fallacy". https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conjunction_fallacy Did not mean to patronise at all, only because probability is both my profession and my favourite hobby horse. Edit: my point about that it is just not a well designed study still stands.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 05:10 PM
10

Yeah, it in general is not a good example. As someone who was playing sports at a good amateur level, but quite seriously in my younger years, there's close to zero correlation between the persona on the pitch and the same person in real life. Soooo many people seem to be overcompensating in competitive sports for whatever they can't do or achieve in "real" life - career, relationships, friends, you name it. Same with driving - the most assertive and dominant (in a good sense) men I know are als…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 04:52 PM
14

I think the answer is that women are not a hive mind, some prefer dominant men, some prefer non-dominant men. And it well might be an active preference, i.e. the absence of the preferred characteristic would not be "neutral", but will be "negative" and serve as a repellent. In the situation where nothing was said about John (ie the control case), there is no repellent effect, women can ascribe any characteristic they prefer to him. So dominant-loving women won't be repelled by him being a softie…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 04:17 PM
2

Purely for educational purposes, can you please provide an example of ugly feet? Genuinely curious.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 11:37 PM
2

Did I write anywhere that women are entitled to anything at all? You seem to be reading something different here.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 09:43 PM
1

Oh yes. I've seen it from the inside (through my friend, of course). We even briefly dated the same guy at some point in our early 20s (with a gap of few months, just a couple of dates each, and discovered it much later). He was a perfectly ok guy with me (very different personalities, didn't click at all, so politely said goodbye to each other), but I could not believe my eyes at first when she showed me his messages. Possessive, jealous... just totally crazy. Like a completely different person…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 07:55 PM
1

You're not surprised because this is just statistics? Pull a person out of the crowd randomly, and they are likely average.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 07:41 PM
1

This is what puzzled me in the first place, and probably what drew me in too. It is a very popular subreddit, but I have never in my life met anyone fitting stereotypes that are often referred to on here.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 04:45 PM
4

This is so true. It works for women too, probably in a slightly different way - once you start making good money, the fear of not securing a "provider" decreases massively, leading to a much healthier dating attitude overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 04:39 PM
3

I just cannot imagine trying it out with hundreds of men (as I said, I don't probably even know a hundred eligible men). You must have a very active social life to know hundreds of women you consider good enough matches to approach. At any given point in my life, I'd say there's one, maybe two guys that I can (again, hypothetically) see as someone I could be with, and these are usually already good friends (and for a good reason, i.e. - we are compatible on a personal level, have interests in co…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 04:10 PM
9

"Ugly" for me is just such a charged term. Like a witch from a fairy tale, with a hump and covered in warts, i.e. intentionally off-putting by design rather than just unappealing. So far I did not have people running from me screaming in horror, but I did have small kids making unkind comments loudly lol. Somewhere around 3/10 without any enhancements, yes, but then again, the exact shape of the distribution seems to be different for everyone who uses it - people on here have rated Angelina Joli…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 03:00 PM
21

Not directly ask for sex, of course. But a low effort approach that is unlikely to lead to anything more than casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 12:35 PM
8

Define hard. I didn't spend a lot of time single during times when I wanted a relationship, and was prepared to put some real effort into it. But I am equally happy outside of a relationship, have been single for years and life was great too, just in a different way. No, all my partners were better looking than me (population-wise, they were probably average or above average). In some cases it was a problem that eventually led to the relationship ending. I did not select on the basis of looks th…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 12:30 PM
12

1% success rate as in, they approach 100 women and only 1 agrees? So the total number of approaches must be in hundreds, to build reliable stats like that? I don't even KNOW a hundred single men I would have approached, even if I wanted to. I asked out people I already built some good connection to - through hobbies, work, study etc., and understand them as a person at least a little bit. That's exactly what I called "white noise" in my comment above, ie cold approaching anyone as long as they a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 12:09 PM
3

Well, I don't have an experience of an average man, so how can I realistically compare? Most of average men around me are in long-term loving relationships, so I absolutely don't recognise the picture often painted on this subreddit. I'd say probably 25% to 33% success rate getting a date over my lifetime (so 1 in 4 to 1 in 3). But it is not OLD and I don't just go around asking random people in the street out. Only people I already know in some capacity, and where I am already sure they at leas…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 11:35 AM
4

Well, it is a return on the investment and effort put in, nothing that an average man cannot do. None of my relationships have started with the man showing interest first, for example - I was the one asking them out / expressing interest. And was turned down much more often than succeeding too.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 11:21 AM
38

I mean "white noise" as sexual attention shown automatically, without any actual intention to invest any effort into a relationship. Both attractive and unattractive women get that, for different reasons, but often with the same end result.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 10:44 AM
50

I won't call myself ugly, but probably a good deal below average. All my romantic relationships, including a few marriages, were great for the most part, and added to my life in various ways. My best friend is an actual model in the past (both catwalk and glamour / front page), and she had struggled much more with the quality of her relationships. Including some terrifying things like stalking, morbid jealousy and physical abuse. I don't think there's necessarily a very strong correlation betwee…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 10:14 AM
1

I am an older woman and no, not jealous or envious of younger women. I offer my perspective only if asked for advice though, as otherwise it is just a waste of time and also quite impolite. As many other old hags on the thread, I feel protective rather than anything, and yes, there's some underlying urge to point things out to them. Similar to when you see someone lifting a heavy thing incorrectly and you know from experience they'll pull their back, and that there's a much safer way of doing th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 11:32 AM
5

Mothers, in my experience, are the most hard core feminists of all. Because a lot of asymmetry in the society is visible only when you actually earn that ultimate hallmark of femininity, motherhood.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 02:18 PM
2

I never said anything about economic quality? And how does a man aged 30-50 dating someone 1 year younger than him writes off all women aged 30-49? Men age, but many things only improve with age, as they settle into themselves and learn more about the world. From confidence to intellect.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/22 06:57 AM
3

That "the wall" completely destroys the woman's chances on the relationship market, she becomes invisible and angry, and her only option is cats and boxed wine, and sometimes drunk pity sex from a man her age, who lives his best life. In reality, I've observed that whilst the quantity of suitors definitely decreases - no doubt about that, the quality increases. And 90%+ of the "quantity" was white noise anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 11:21 PM
2

My answer is not making my own happiness depending on a relationship with a man at all. Or wider - on any other human being (probably with the exception of my children and parents, where I have a very tangible impact and say). I am of course somewhat "unhappy" (strange to phrase it like that, but let's leave it) with other things in my life - for example, a new musical piece I am practicing as a hobby is coming out still all jumbled up, or could make more effort with exercise but too lazy, or th…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 10:02 AM
3

This is a very unique way of building an argument: Let's axiomatise that women are deficient (not as honest, aware, understanding etc). ...argument... Here, I have proven that women are deficient! My point was that you don't have to have exactly the same past life experiences or future life strategies to understand what drives or affects other people and how they operate. Not only in relationships, in general. Oncologists don't need to have had cancer themselves to treat it. Teachers don't have …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/22 01:50 PM
6

Why do you think unattractive women have no insights about how attractive women think and operate? Genuine question. Most of them have at least one attractive woman that is dear to them - a friend, sister, mother or daughter, and can totally relate. I am saying this as a not very attractive woman, whose best and closest friend for 20 years is (well, was) a legit catwalk model and has been on front pages of glossy magazines. I don't know where you place yourself on the male attractiveness / desir…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/22 01:07 PM
1

£50K in London is hardly a salary you can make substantial savings on or have multiple exotic holidays.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 06:02 AM
1

I don't think it is that they don't want to settle down. I am mentoring / managing a lot of young women in their late 20s / early 30s at work, and quite a good % of them actually want a family and children, but are estimating realistically the risks involved too. It costs nothing for their husbands to leave them and start all again, paying pennies in official child support, and the life of a single mother is not a bed of roses even for highly paid professional women. I think the prevailing attit…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/22 11:35 AM
28

I am closer to 40 than 30, and I probably attract the best quality of men now compared to ever before. Not only men, people in general (for friendship). Can't really complain.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 08:40 AM
2

Or that women who are lucky to meet non-abusive partners stop at one or two (and therefore take them out of competition), whilst those who stay in the game recycle the same pool of abusive men between them and go into 20+ partners. Or, as you said, there's a correlation between men and women who attract each other. Just showing a danger of using the data without formulating the statistical model first. Personally, I hope that the true percentage of men who are capable of domestic violence is muc…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 05:33 PM
1

My point was to demonstrate the inappropriateness of the model in general. 1/3 and 1/5 (or 4/5) values are clearly not independent as treated by the author, as both rely on the prevalence of violent males in the general population. There can be a much neater model constructed from the available data. For starters, there's probably a strong correlation between the violence of the partner and whether the woman will keep on looking for a better one.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 03:18 PM
2

The burden of proof is not on me as I didn't make any unsubstantiated claims. I have no idea what the true % is, and the model to estimate it reliably from the public data will take more of my time than I am prepared to volunteer. In your new assessment, you are comparing annual reports vs the total population of adult men in the state (who presumably are not resident there for just one year). Let's assume that men have a potential of being violent for 40 years of their life, and use your assump…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 02:54 PM
1

I am not playing word games, and I have family and friends in the army too. No one is forcing either men or women in Ukraine to join the army, there are more than enough volunteers of both genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 01:48 PM
0

Your family is trapped in the Ukrainian army? Because my post was about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 01:36 PM
0

Lol ok, let it be so.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 01:22 PM
0

All voluntary, the same as men.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 12:56 PM
12

Think again now. The 1/3 times 1/5 calculation for the population % of abusive men assumes that every woman experiences abuse no more than from one partner out of five in her lifetime (I.e. either once, or never).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 10:46 AM
2

Google is your friend if you don't believe me lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 10:16 AM
-1

They won't have that privilege in about 10 days, being subject to the same military registration irrespective of sex. It might be hard to believe, but in the first days and weeks of active war, when you need to evacuate millions of children immediately, is not exactly the time for a lengthy parliamentary debate on what is the most fair for all option. There has been no forced conscription for men at any point, they were and are free to relocate to the west of the country where it is safe (and mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 10:16 AM
3

But they (= "all women") didn't leave, the majority stayed behind, so what is the point you're trying to make? Refugees are overwhelmingly mothers with children, leaving for the sake of their children, not to create a tinder profile in a safe country as claimed in the OP. Quite weirdly, no one I know from the Ukrainian armed forces, male or female, has expressed any thoughts similar to what people declare here from their sofas.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 10:03 AM
2

They have, if they are unsuitable for military service, single fathers or fathers of three or more children.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 09:52 AM
1

Women suitable for military service will be as well from Oct 1 2022, exactly because the society considered it to be unequal. So people did give a fuck immediately once there was a time to breathe and reform old antiquated laws. Are you happier now?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 08:19 AM
27

Why do you assume that an average woman had experienced abuse exactly once out of all her lifetime partners? That is a massive assumption in your maths. Assume it was 4 out of 5, for example, and see how it changes the result. It is not fifth grade maths, but a common bayesian estimation fallacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 07:44 AM
-1

Hate to break the news to you, but there's no forced conscription of men in Ukraine either, actually the issue is the opposite - too many volunteers.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 07:12 AM
4

There's a very substantial number of women in Ukrainian army, including 15% of active combat forces and 22% overall. Maybe choose a different example.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 05:29 AM
16

Same here. I do try to listen to the arguments across the spectrum, but all single mothers I know are not by choice. I absolutely don't recognise the picture painted on this subreddit at all. If I was asked to describe an "average" single mother I know, it is a divorced middle-class woman in her 40s whose husband got disappointed when the "children project" turning out to be harder than he thought, and left for a younger woman, and now is disney-dadding one weekend per month with paltry amounts …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 02:03 PM
6

Has it been a very frequent occurrence for you so far?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 01:47 PM
4

Both 100% male and 100% female spaces are toxic, just in different ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 08:01 AM
8

You can always marry someone richer than you, then the odds will be stacked in your favour. It is a very strange approach to marriage though, to assume that you are going to hate your wife. Why aren't you afraid then that you are going to hate your children from a surrogate? Also a possibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 09:12 PM
9

But we are discussing the OP's project (which includes a surrogate), not your mum? Seriously now though, the single parent financial penalty is non-linear to career / earning power. Relatively easy to survive on welfare or working part-time flexible hours with government top ups, but gets increasingly harder with even a bog standard 9 to 5 job, and becomes deity level with a well paid job where you have non-negotiable presence requirements (e.g. medical) or long/unpredictable hours. It is not im…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 08:42 PM
17

Would your mother also be able to pay a six-digit amount for a surrogate as OP intends?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 06:25 PM
17

You are grossly underestimating how much a child costs financially, never mind in other resources. You mention 150K per year above... I don't know the location/currency, but in London a £150K salary won't be enough to afford sufficient childcare to be able to have a typical £150K job with small children.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 06:02 PM
2

So weird to read this thread from the UK where barristers are planning a strike as many of them work close to minimum wage, and doctors top up at around £150K unless they are in some niche like private plastic surgery.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 10:33 AM
2

On number 3, I don't think it is the absolute length of time, but rather the intensity of it. I have friends who were in a long-term relationship for over 15 years. They saw each other once or twice a month, and would struggle to recall names of their partner's siblings, for example. Or when one of them got a puppy, the other had no idea for several months. They both are just laid back and very private people, and the relationship simply did not survive when one of them hit a tough period in lif…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 10:56 AM
3

I am not sure that good quality studies exist on the topic (could not find after a quick search), but from the anecdotal evidence and common sense I'd say that the onset of menopause is very, very low on the list of reasons of why a particular woman did not get pregnant, as very few women would even consider getting pregnant either at the age of 45 ("early" menopause) or 55 ("late" menopause). But my point was that just because something happens "in nature", it does not mean that it is necessari…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 01:42 PM
14

Women also lose around ~75% of their eggs between being conceived and born. And it is probably true that "in nature" women would probably have reproduced as soon as fertile, but also most men probably would not have reproduced at all, if making it alive to adulthood at all. Hardly an ideal scenario. Biological arguments certainly have their place, but at least use them sensibly.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 08:10 AM
1

Yes, went in full awareness for someone out of my league, it ended predictably with him finding someone better. I don't regret it though, at least there were some very good times we had, and I got children out of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 07:34 AM
2

Thousands actually
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 08:44 AM
7

Mathematicians are super hot. Pure, not applied though.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 10:33 PM
2

Yes, it is fair. To be honest, the existing combat forces are already ~15% female, so it is not that exotic.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/22 12:52 PM
4

Absolutely cannot see where I mocked the war. I mocked the questions of, effectively, "will I get laid if there's a world war and women become desperate". So your 200 pound guys don't eat, don't shit, don't sleep, never need new uniforms, don't need medical treatment when they get injured. Got it. One thing I still didn't get is whether diplomacy is worth doing or not. Your post has two sentences directly contradicting one another on this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/22 08:38 AM
5

Many people (of both genders) get both car and heavy vehicles driving categories while still at high school. I'd say most, but don't have any reliable stats on the topic. Cyber defence, as any IT enterprise, requires a wide spectrum of skills and seniority levels. Straight down to drilling it into users not to click on every link they get in their inbox, and not to give their credentials over the phone when "support" calls. A school teacher is probably more useful here than a github star. Partis…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/22 08:24 AM
8

You have zero idea what you're talking about, do you?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/22 07:37 AM
9

It didn't change the gender dynamics.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/22 07:34 AM
15

Thank you so much for explaining it to me. Now I REALLY know what's going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 11:30 PM
11

Since December 21 to women as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 11:09 PM
37

Awww. As a Ukrainian woman under 40 (I.e., if anything happens now- subject to the same draft condition as the men locally, at least de jure, nothing known about the de facto situation obviously) here's my take on it: Wars in the 21st century are not won by 80-lvl masculine superheroes wielding The Axe of Destiny (+25 fire damage; +10 armor) on the front line. Let's accept the supply lines, cyber defence, partisan resistance - all have quite a critical role. Ya, I know, booooring. Don't you thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 10:55 PM
1

They are easily googlable, the conflict has been going on for almost 8 years and there have been 14K casualties so far. If you actually want to discuss and not just throw angry statements into the air, maybe it is a good point to start.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 09:27 AM
9

I am probably too primitive. I personally find it very hard to experience empathy towards an abstract group of people, and I think it is often virtue-signalling rather than genuine.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 07:54 PM
12

They already do - more than 15% of the active duty forces are female at the moment. When your home is threatened, it does not really matter much how your pee-pee is shaped, you go and take up arms (or work in the back office, or on the supply and medical side). Does it make your life better?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 12:42 PM
68

In all honesty, I did not observe a lot of empathy between other groups either, no matter how miniscule the differences are. Working class vs middle class, stay at home mums vs working mums, private school parents vs state school parents, lets not even start on sports fans, well... You are supposed to buy empathy from a therapist and experience empathy towards a carefully created screen content you purchase. It is a part of the economy, so no one's giving it for free anymore. Quite sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 08:31 AM
17

If you are hinting at what is currently going on around Ukraine, you'd be pleased to know that Ukraine had introduced female conscription from December 2021. Pregnant and single mothers included.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 08:07 AM
4

Marriage, probably no, not really. Having children, however - yes, can be a massive game changer.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 10:52 PM
1

I've been ghosted in a marriage 😁
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 07:41 AM
1

There are modifications of the secretary problem to account for the issues you mentioned too 😁
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 07:20 AM
1

It is not an active search (as if I am actively hunting for a specific trait), but rather who tends to stick long-term from the usual stream of people I am exposed to every day. As I said, it is now friends (of any sex) rather than romantic interests, but the standard is similar. Anyway, you are right that intelligence is the trait that's relatively on the surface and easy to see. Not necessarily in terms of official credentials (the smartest person I know actually does not have a degree at all)…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 01:08 AM
0

I cannot find any reliable statistics to quote, so will have to rely on personal anecdotes. In my own experience, are there higher odds of being financially successful when you're intelligent - likely yes, is there noticeably high (in your terms) prevalence of intelligent amongst the rich - no. And, also, define "rich". All genuinely wealthy people I know personally (let's say, people who don't have to work) either (a large majority) already come from family money, or (a small minority) became s…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 12:18 AM
2

And you know it... how exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 11:32 PM
0

Well, I am not pretending. From my perspective, the decision-making filter is only on one of these variables, even if there are correlations with others. Higher intelligence is linked to many other things, including higher prevalence of mental disorders - but you wouldn't say that I intentionally search for mentally unwell partners, would you? And in any case I am not sure the effect is as strong as you seem to think. The most intelligent men in my circles that immediately come to mind are house…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 11:31 PM
3

Yes, same. I have extremely high standards for values, morals, intelligence, character - well, overall integrity - way, way higher than top 20%, or 1 in 5. Probably closer to 1 in 500. Actually, not only for potential romantic partners - for everyone who's admitted to my inner circle. But all this complaining about needing to be in top 20% looks wise - can't recognise at all, quite the opposite, I am probably happy with how 80% of men look. Same for wealth / income.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 10:47 PM
4

I agree, my point was that in Britain (well, England) it is not as correlated to wealth or income. I have upper class (as in, gentry) acquaintances who are living on welfare. There are family trusts funds behind them that will pay for generations to come to attend posh private schools, but not for daily living expenses.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 11:58 AM
4

In America, you can climb classes by simply earning more money. In Britain, you cannot. You can be an upper-class homeless junkie, or a working class driving a lamborghini, but native Brits will pigeonhole you correctly within 5 mins of meeting you.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 10:45 AM
1

I am in professional and educated circles too. Plenty of deadbeat dads and single mothers here. It is just not that obvious and on the surface - the more resources you have, the better you can be in smoothing out the sharp edges and compensating otherwise. 99% of my professional contacts have no idea that I am a single mother. Not because I intentionally hide it in some way, it is just on the "need to know" basis.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 10:40 AM
2

Only if he is properly parenting his children, ie close to 50/50 custody. Not a weekend / once-in-a-month Disney dad.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 08:47 AM
1

No, not quite right - never said all Asians, all women or that it is due to being brown. Only that is it a scenario that is too common for western women to be careful about getting into serious relationship with men from certain cultures. I briefly had an Indian boyfriend at uni, and every Indian girl warned me not to get too serious about it, as he'll get married off in a couple of years by family. And they were 100% right, by the way, that's exactly what happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 05:30 PM
2

All empathy works through transference as the basic mechanism, I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 08:05 PM
2

Not exactly as you explained. For me it was that before motherhood, I was fully in control of my empathy. When, to whom and how much to give it. And left-wing views (in the western understanding, which is also quite funny) effectively feed of this surplus empathy resource. After the motherhood, you are pretty much an animal in this respect and your empathic response, albeit elevated, is triggered in some sort of a hardware automatic way by your child, sometimes against your will and sometimes ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 05:30 PM
7

This assumes a that a population prevalence of herpes carriers is the same as the probability of them becoming your sexual partner. Which is probably not true, as higher promiscuity both means higher odds of sexual encounter AND higher odds of being a herpes carrier.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 08:29 PM
2

Wouldn't it make more sense for one person to work for the money and the other person to keep the house in check; The problem is that it is a very high risk strategy for the stay-at-home person in the 21st century. Not to say that the reward is not necessarily worth it in all cases, but it always be a balancing exercise. or perhaps even BOTH people doing their share of work AND housework? And this will work well (in my opinion) if both work/income and housework are split 50/50 or very close to. …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 09:28 AM
4

The argument about neural pathways being trained differently does not invalidate the argument about it being from the differences in socialisation rather than innate.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 09:14 AM
3

It is a bimodal distribution. I'd say that the best personalities (and I am saying this as a woman in respect of my female friends) usually develop in women who were consistently around 3-4 all their lives in their natural state (but usually this category can also scrub up well to 5/6/7 for a special occasion). Being genuinely very unattractive, especially during the fragile puberty/ teenage stage, also is not conducive to a woman's personality-building.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 08:15 AM
0

Completely off topic, but what's wrong with accumulating masters degrees? Asking as someone who has three, thinking about a fourth. Two of the three never resulted in a career, they were for fun / self-improvement. I found it to be a perfect way to learn something new semi-independently, but still from the best people in the field. And you don't have to quit the job market whilst doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 09:53 AM
16

Yes, +1 to this. I won't say that I am extraordinary attractive or pleasant, but there is a bitter grain of truth in what FDS offers as protective techniques. I know it sounds stupid, but I personally had no frame of reference for bad male behaviour at all. All male role models in my life - dad, granddads, friends, and even relationships - have been as perfect as they can be, so had zero experience when I first met the common garden variety of a player/cheater, at quite an advanced age, I must s…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 09:35 AM
5

Thank you for the answer, yes I see where you're coming from. Tbh I think what you have experienced is more of a good relationship vs bad relationship, as compared to traditional / non-traditional. The best couple I know (where I absolutely admire the dynamics between the two) is the one where both parties are roughly of similar success in the modern terms - even more, they are competitors in a certain sense, both have a (semi-successful) tech start-up and are competing for the same capital. But…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/22 09:12 AM
1

I am not even sure a reasonable proxy existed in the US in the 50s, apart from maybe a very very thin layer of lower middle / upper working class families.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/22 08:40 AM
8

How can you describe someone still in high school as a traditional woman? Genuine question. Unless you had children while at school and she stayed home with them and looked after the family?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/22 08:15 AM
1

I think being of a specific ethnicity (Indian, as you say, included) is more of an issue of long-term prospects for women rather than a matter of attraction. I have a few friends who were in serious relationships with Indian guys. All seemed long-term, in one case they bought a house in joint names, in another adopted a dog. All of them ended similarly - with a guy going back to visit his family, and oopsie daisie - you know, darling, I don't really understand how it happened but I somehow got m…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/22 07:21 AM
2

and no matter whether you're male or female too
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 09:41 PM
0

4 inches? Wow. I am used to wearing heels for more than two decades / 10+ hours a day, but would personally struggle to feel comfortable with a heel that high, never mind making sure to carry myself in a way it is not immediately obvious. I would not consider it a deception or anything like that. Honestly - I'd be seriously impressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/22 11:09 PM
1

Not in bigger cities, no. I imagined more something of a smallholding with a couple of acres in a relatively remote place.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 08:56 PM
1

45/20 feels a bit more off to me. 16 and 20 are both "kids", from my perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 08:08 PM
3

A massive place in the south of France can be cheaper than a room in London.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 08:01 PM
4

I think you must have some very vulnerable women circles. I am 36 and a single mother, absolutely zero desire to have a man in the house - friends are a much healthier cure for loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 07:37 AM
1

I think the US is unusually harsh on child support. It is not the case in many other similarly developed countries - the contributions are way lower and no one is going to jail for non-payment.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 04:14 PM
2

I don't know a single single mother who gets more that 50% of genuine children-related costs from the other parent. Know plenty who get a notional contribution only though. What I often hear is that fathers consider it unfair when the mother, as the result of getting child maintenance, is able to keep any of her own salary to herself (either save or spend) instead of spending it all on the child. Which is absolutely mind boggling to me, to be honest. Quite functional men say that the fact that t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 03:38 PM
2

It was quite obvious that you don't have kids from your answers, please don't take it as a personal attack, it is just an observation. Even if your ex is a cheater, they are still, and always will be, your children's other parent - they cheated on you, not on them - and the children deserve to have a relationship irrespective of what happened, as long as it is not something that is dangerous. Wounded adult egos really, really should take a back seat here.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 02:06 PM
3

Did I say anywhere "pay for everything"? The actual facts I see is that the official child maintenance where I live (the UK) does not even start touching the sides of what it costs to raise a child. The default rate (ie when the paying parent's income is a little bit less straightforward than a fixed salary from a single employer) is £38 / week for one child and £51 / week for two. Education is very often not free. At the more extreme end, should the children be moved from fee-paying schools whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 01:29 PM
3

If they want their child to, effectively, just survive in the most primitive sense - bread, water and shelter - then sure. No education, no extracurricular activities, no books, no friends, no fun, no life skills, no experiences. Thankfully, I don't know many parents who think this is sufficient.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 12:49 PM
5

The majority of the situations where child support is payable is not where someone steals celebrity's sperm though, but where the children are born into a certain lifestyle and it is unfair for them to step back from that significantly because their parents don't get along and weaponize finance. I'd like to see a floor enforced before the cap, to be fair. In the UK the official child maintenance rates are ridiculously low, it is pretty much expected that single mothers have to be on welfare to s…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 12:05 PM
1

Then the "FDS" advice must be generally sound? I don't mean the batshit tactical side of it, but the general premise that a single woman is likely to be of a higher quality than single men she meets.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 10:26 AM
0

Who would be an ugly woman making $400K/ year settling for? Genuine question.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/22 11:52 PM
3

OK, so it is (2). To be honest, it is not what I see around me. I'd say the success levels between women of different "leagues" is surprisingly static, and they usually pair up with someone who is both their looks-match and social match. But then, I don't really have a lot of visibility of the extreme top and bottom either.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/22 09:41 PM
10

Purely for the sake of abstract argument, if we assume that every couple is such that men are "superior" to women in them, then one of the following must be true: (1) men are generally "superior" to women when it comes to their mating value (then how you define being "superior" - surely the sexual market by its nature should be efficient / self-correcting?) (2) uncoupled people should disproportionally consist of higher-quality women and lower-quality men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/22 09:33 PM
2

Interesting. I don't have a physical type at all. The only thing I can think about being specifically attractive as a feature is when the guy has long fingers with long nail beds. But height, weight, eye colour, hair colour - no preference at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/22 11:14 AM
0

It is quite difficult to raise a family on one salary, when you actually also need to work to bring that salary in as well. So unless women start outearning men 2-1 or more, I cannot see this argument holding.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/22 10:31 AM
1

Quite low, not 1/10, as that's probably quite extreme, but somewhere around 2-3/10. I personally prefer as many domestic chores as possible to be outsourced to people who do them better and cheaper.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 08:16 AM
1

They are hardly the majority though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 09:03 PM
4

I don't think there's a contradiction here. From what you explained, an attractive (albeit overweight) woman does not consider herself to be low value, which is quite normal. I've been anywhere from 3/10 up to probably 6/10 (or what is "just above average" score) on the scale. Which is probably not that unusual for a lot of women, very few spend all their life pegged to a fixed score. The level of validation the world offers you at "6" is from a completely different universe to your experience a…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 08:18 AM
1

This is actually quite true. What you said above also is correct, in my opinion - that men who see low self-esteem in women as a desirable trait probably haven't ever been with one.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 12:06 AM
3

I had one break-up where I really, really regret my behaviour. I was quite young (under 20) and inexperienced but that's still quite a lame excuse, as it was a reasonably long term relationship for that age. Did what is now known as ghosting, before it was cool, purely out of cowardice, could not face "the talk". He still sends me blue valentines sometimes and I quite deservedly feel like a piece of shit every time.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 11:29 PM
9

The nurturing instinct is there for a good reason though. If a person makes an effort and is praised for it - or gets any sort of positive reinforcement in general - it is more likely they'll persevere. That's nurturing 101, works with adult humans, children, dogs, even chickens. Unfortunately, does not work with cats, there's some sort of a glitch. I went through quite a major weight loss a few years ago, 20 pounds or so. My female friends noticed first, and kept me on track with praise and enc…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 08:53 PM
21

I think men try to project from their own experience. I.e. if 100 random women told a guy he's looking handsome or stunning today, his ego would just explode. A woman who is less than 4/10 (idk where "ugly" starts on that scale, just putting an arbitrary cut off there) knows it very well through all her lived experience, starting right from her teenage years. In the same way as a short guy knows he's short.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 08:32 PM
63

I think the majority of unattractive women are very well aware of their "market value". I do say nice words when it is obvious that the person made an effort with their appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 06:10 PM
1

Answered above there with some specific examples.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 03:52 PM
1

Oh I see, I better stop identifying as a "grown woman" then lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 11:46 AM
1

Because it's feminine. It's like a guy painting your nails. I don't see it like that at all. I guess we just perceive it very differently. Let me try to explain. Say, the result desired by both parties is that food appears at the end of the day on the family table. There are many steps involved in that. Someone has to earn money to buy the ingredients. Someone has to actually go and buy the ingredients. Someone has to earn money to pay for the gas or electricity to cook. Someone has to cook (and…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 10:13 AM
1

I don't want to come home and see anyone in a pink dress baking cupcakes in the kitchen, to be fair, as - putting fetishes aside - it is a caricature not observed in real life. My cooking is now done by a housekeeper who is very traditionally feminine and actually wears pink dresses, but when she's cooking or cleaning she is wearing sweatpants and an old t-shirt, as, I suspect, the majority of people do. Let's put it in more realistic terms - do I want to come home to a healthy and delicious sup…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 09:30 AM
1

Putting the pink dress extreme aside - who on earth makes cupcakes in a dress anyway, it is usually quite a messy business - yes, a man who can cook at the "cupcake" level (i.e. multi-step complex recipes with some intuition and quick thinking needed) is an asset in a relationship. Why would not he be? Neutral for his sexual attractiveness, but definitely would increase his relationship value.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 08:39 AM
3

Hmm, interestingly, I don't think so. Every female friend who is not in a relationship likely stays like that out of choice. But I also never thought, even hypothetically, how a relationship with one of my female friends would look like. So there might well be issues, only that I am completely oblivious to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 10:18 PM
12

It is very specific to every person. In one case, the guy complains about everything. Not just complains, he COMPLAINS. And on the surface, he fits the 6-6-6 stereotype - fit, tall and generally good looking, educated, great salary, etc etc. No relationships that last beyond a few dates. But god, he's completely insufferable. Every little thing is against him, everyone is doing everything wrong around him. His morning coffee was served way too hot and the lid was not put on properly, then the ra…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 09:47 PM
18

Yes, this. I have a couple of male friends who struggle with the romantic side of life similarly to the OP's uncle. In all these cases I know exactly, exactly why they struggle, it is never for "no reason". It is not necessarily something "unfixable" theoretically, but it is very unlikely they will ever address it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 07:55 PM
2

When I started treating men I know in the same way as my good female friends (i.e. no sexual context at all), I noticed that it had not only improved these friendships significantly, but I also started receiving quite genuine and high quality relationship offers.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 11:38 PM
2

There is actually a sound mathematical solution to the problem of maximising the chance of selecting the best mate for a woman. It was even originally known as "the picky bride problem". Gave rise to quite a few interesting results, now mainly used in the domain of mathematical finance, not matchmaking.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/22 10:38 PM
1

I've never dated or have been married to a man who earned more than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/22 09:59 PM
3

It is the opposite, both women are first generation immigrants, both men are local (I am in the UK).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/22 09:41 PM
–

Your sample is heavily biased towards hot women who are into the hookup scene in the first place, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/22 12:36 PM
1

I think there's a full continuous spectrum between type 1 and type 2 too, it is not binary, these are just two extremes. I.e. someone knows they probably can get a marginally better partner with quite a high degree of certainty, but only through the added inconvenience of extra time / effort put into courting / risk taken with a new relationship / detriment to other stakeholders in the existing relationship such as children. So it does not make sense for them to jump. Most of my female friends w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/22 11:51 AM
7

Yes, with children.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/22 10:11 AM
5

This is an artificially extreme example, but I know quite a few couples where a woman is a few grades above the man socioeconomically while he is significantly more attractive. Not a CEO / janitor couple, but have a consultant doctor / taxi driver and a senior accountant / care worker couples amongst close friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/22 08:16 AM
–

Eh, I am originally from a country already mentioned several times on the thread, and find myself quite incompatible with Western men - to the point where I would not be considering anything serious with a guy born to the west of the Berlin wall. We're not all cookie cutter made shapes.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/22 03:22 PM
8

It looks like a statistical correlation study, I read the high level release but could not see where they make a causal link / what they base it on? It should at least to some extent work in the opposite direction too, i.e. being unemployed and living with parents leads to worse romantic prospects.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 06:20 PM
5

What I like this sub for, is for things like that - two logical steps between late roman military history and zoophilia.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 06:04 PM
2

Infant mortality is also ~50% higher in male children compared to female, to add to your list of unfortunate odds against men. It is hard to argue "in general", without seeing stats for a specific country and war. I have reliable stats for the UK in 1950s (so just after WW2), the population pyramid has not shifted much at all, male war fatalities did not lead to any visible unbalancing at all. And again, the fact that the overall average life expectancy for men was several years lower than for w…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 05:38 PM
3

Thank you, yes this answers the question. I have masters in maths too, and have been hiring mathematicians for the best part of last decade... just came across this description for the first time, that's all. All of us are just usual math grads, not advanced.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 05:21 PM
6

You have outlined now one of the major issues why all of the existing (statistical) studies on female fertility are quite biased. You cannot estimate fertility of a modern woman of any age who does not aim to get pregnant in the first place. It is practically impossible to find relevant homogeneous modern data that is not influenced by personal reproductive choices, past and present, of women in the dataset. To the extent that many modern fertility stats are estimated based on quite old data set…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 05:13 PM
2

What's a degree in Advanced mathematics? Just out of curiosity, it is off topic of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 04:45 PM
3

Hmmm, if you need some recommendations on entry level probability textbooks, will be happy to send some your way. It is a fascinating topic actually, very worth learning about.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 04:39 PM
3

I fail to see how the above supports your original argument (which I understood to be that men always needed to seek younger females due to female's short historical life expectancy and even shorter fertility window).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 04:37 PM
5

I see, you need to multiply probabilities here, not add them. A woman cannot get pregnant in month 2 and then again in month 5, for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 04:21 PM
5

Well, yes, no war has ever been good news for anyone, I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 04:11 PM
3

How would it be 60%? Interested in your maths. I used a cycle = 1 month for shorthand, but even assuming 13 cycles per year it is nowhere near 60%.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 04:10 PM
3

No, you misunderstood my argument. Human survival, when looked at the context proposed by you (I.e. reproduction and partner selection), is governed by conditional, not absolute probabilities. Once you made it past the age of 12 (say, earliest child marriage threshold) in the dark ages, you had quite good chances of making it to say 55 (at which point let's assume people started leaving the reproductive pool through other decrements than death - menopause, erectile dysfunction etc). These odds a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 04:08 PM
4

Historically, women had a higher "regular" death rate (childbirth itself was a risky venture with up to 2% fatality for the mother - depending on when and where, of course), while men's deaths were more clustered, as you said, around wars. There's also a knock on impact from those male deaths on the general population too - if your husband, or all your adult sons perished on the battlefield, your chances of survival yourself were severely decreased.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 03:53 PM
6

I don't think being the last surprise child of a 45+ year old peasant woman in the middle ages was actually a "positive", probably quite the opposite. My point was that at no point, outside of the very recent history, it has been a statistically negligible component of the overall number of children born.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 03:26 PM
5

Ehhh... And? 5% chance per cycle is ~46% chance per year. That's actually a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 03:18 PM
5

80% does not mean "cannot carry the child to term". It means that one in five pregnancies still can be successfully carried to term. That's a lot, statistically speaking, in a population of historical 45 year old women who all have regular sex with no contraception.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 03:14 PM
11

Women, in absence of contraception, were historically having children well into their 40s (or until earlier death in childbirth) just up to the menopause. No, they did not become infertile by 30, and they did not have children back to back - lactation (usually prolonged) was one of the most reliable contraception methods at that time. Roman family (at the peak of empire) had between five or six children of which between two to three survived to adulthood. Found also an interesting fact was that …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 03:10 PM
10

Those life expectancy averages you quote are heavily biased by childhood mortality (which was easily up to 50%). As an illustrative example, the average expectancy of 25 means that there was one person who died at 0 years and one who died at 50 years. The actual survival odds for men of reproductive age in absence of wars hasn't changed that dramatically from times when first reliable life tables have been constructed (late 17th century). I mean, certainly there has been an improvement, but it i…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 02:46 PM
2

I still haven't decided whether my family is complete or not, and I am over 35. If I have another child, will consciously go for it as a single mother if so. I am definitely a better, more resourceful parent now compared to my 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/21 01:09 PM
14

To be fair, these often quoted single mother stats are applicable to very few societies (US mainly I think?), and at a very specific time interval - where single motherhood was also massively correlated with poverty, substance abuse, low educational attainment of the mother and what else. There are other societies where single motherhood was a norm at different points in time due to other reasons - and those single mother households raised very well functioning men.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 08:53 PM
1

Well, you're dealing in absolutes in your scenarios. A world where shriveled up grannies are able to have sex on tap with as many hot young men as they like for free, and these men will even be going on dates with them in exchange for what is effectively a few bucks worth of food... is a world where these young men are being used, not grannies, no? Maybe I am just overthinking this from the plausible world-building perspective, and the world behind #2 feels much more sinister to me compared to t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 05:45 PM
1

Out of interest, why option #1 is framed as them using me for sex, and not the other way round? If all I need to do is to pay for their food, and there's endless supply of willing candidates, then I am the market maker in this hypothetical scenario, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 01:10 PM
2

Intelligence is actually the only trait I care at the moment in a potential partner, but then I am old enough to be your mum. Sense of humour is usually the first derivative of intelligence.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/21 03:21 PM
2

I wouldn't say that it is an example of immaturity - more such a deep cultural ingrained taboo that she genuinely HAD to do and say something about it. I don't know, similar to if she found about me being in an incestuous relationship or something. The horror. No, no, no more few years of the pandemic and don't even wish such things on a Christmas day, even for the sake of short men 😁
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/21 09:45 AM
2

To be 100% honest, it is certainly not a bad quality as such, but not in the top 10 for me, and has never been (neither when I was young and children weren't on the radar, not later when I wanted children, not now when I have them).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/21 09:27 AM
4

Yes, had my share of inappropriate comments too, even from complete strangers on the street (100% of them women). Interesting that you had similar experience, I thought it was just me who was surrounded by weirdos. By the way, I absolutely could not understand the reason for these comments - ok, random woman, so you don't find my man attractive, but I clearly do. Just be glad then that I am taken off the market and not competing for yours?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/21 09:53 PM
4

Yes, in the sense that I will consciously give in excess over the "indifference" threshold, if I am interested in the person. If they don't reciprocate, it is painful, but then serves as a reminder for me to not to get too close anymore. As I said, it is not a high success rate strategy, but works better for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/21 08:29 PM
1

I am genuinely more attracted to men a little bit shorter than me . There's quite a lot of social pressure from other women though on the topic. With my last relationship, my boss teased me mercilessly for weeks about him being one or two inches shorter than me - and she's a mature, very attractive and very intelligent woman, who makes seven digits p/a and manages dozens of people - not some mean schoolgirl.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/21 08:26 PM
1

It is not necessarily laziness. The unseen (to the outsider) component in why some women "bounce back" seemingly easily after childbirth and some don't is that babies are also very, very different in their demands on the mothers time. Some genuinely have no time at all, after the baby's needs are prioritised (as they should), especially if they have a full time job on top / limited family or paid help.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/21 10:04 AM
11

Hmm, I usually do the completely opposite - as they say, do good and throw it into the sea. Not necessarily only in the romantic context, with other relationships and friendships too, first effort is above the usual "token" step. Yes, sure - 99% will go unappreciated, but that 1% that will respond is pure gold.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/21 09:17 AM
3

Ah yes, that's a fair point.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 07:28 PM
1

I've never been with a man who earned more than me. None of them seemed to care, at least outwardly. When it comes to that "dreaded" 35+ post wall zone, a good income for a woman also becomes strongly correlated with her looks, as routine maintenance becomes costly. I am quite relaxed in this respect, but my similarly aged friends spend an equivalent of another mortgage on their appearance... and it does pay very clear dividends.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 05:46 PM
3

But everyone here says that women's earnings are completely irrelevant when it comes to her suitability as a mate - and you're saying here that a higher earning woman has more options. She shouldn't have, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/21 05:37 PM
2

Crispr will be very, very expensive for "retail" use.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/21 09:19 PM
5

Maybe not in 20 years, but in 30-40 years I think we'll see conscious mate selection for genetic superiority.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/21 01:48 AM
1

I am quite surprised. I am from Eastern Europe myself, and getting a young and beautiful kept woman on the side is almost a non-negotiable there once the man reaches a certain level of financial success. The wife usually knows but pretends not to notice.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/21 06:56 AM
15

Is it a thought experiment or an actual choice you were faced with at some point (plain and chubby mother of your children vs a low-maintenance supermodel)? Not a personal attack. I work alongside many successful men, and know their ("first") families too. They almost universally upgrade once they have an opportunity to. Not necessarily divorce, but often have a semi-official bit on the side (much younger, much hotter, brought to events as +1). And it has, to my great surprise, also happened to …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 09:39 PM
2

No.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/21 03:00 PM
2

I am 36 and I also have a min age gap, not only max - will be considering men between 50 and 60 at the moment. The upper limit is quite arbitrary, and there because I want us to still enjoy a couple of reasonably active years before his retirement.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/21 03:55 PM
1

From G8 countries that I know, I'd say the UK is quite good. 50/50 is usually the starting point for the split of residence (and it is really hard to argue against it unless there is something very wrong with the father), outside of multimillionaire cases the child support is nominal and not enforced at all, spousal maintenance is also super exotic now and restricted to 60+ year old wealthy divorcing couples where the wife has never worked, has zero qualifications and no prospects of ever earnin…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/21 11:00 PM
1

The simple truth is that the whole history of the modern human, given the (relative) richness of the genome, is not sufficient for the selection effect of the natural assortative mating (10s breeding with 10s, tall breeding with tall etc.) to become very visible. There are around 300 generations, i.e. "mate selection events" (as a rough ballpark) separating you from your Stone Age ancestor, and a) the definition of "attractiveness" has probably changed quite a lot during this time as the surviva…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 11:45 PM
1

5 cats!!! Kudos. All relatives (as in mother cat and her kittens) or rescues?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 10:10 PM
1

Yes, and lots aren't ready to settle, and will consider entering a relationship it only if it adds a real, tangible and substantial, benefit to their life.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 10:09 PM
1

Good analogy. And, to continue it, best candidates are usually headhunted specifically for the position, not picked from a 1000+ strong pack of CVs that had landed in the HR's inbox in the first 10 minutes.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 10:06 PM
2

Not attractive, but not ugly either. Probably slightly below average, I'd say 4/10. Compared to my age cohort, I think I improved my looks now. The main difference is that in 20s I was just selecting from men who approached me. Now I have quite a good idea of what I am looking for, so prefer to take a more active role.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 05:56 PM
5

Hey, stop exaggerating, I have only 2 cats! Seriously now, it is certainly more difficult now for me in mid-late 30s compared to 20s. Surprisingly, also more rewarding - yes, you need to put some efforts in, but there's also that sweet feeling of accomplishment when it pays back. Contrary to the OP, I think less attractive women are actually doing (comparably) better post wall compared to their "hot" peers - assuming we are discussing relationships, and not hookups. Looks fade equally for both c…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 04:34 PM
6

I think it is only something that a perfectly 50/50 balanced bisexual person can judge objectively, once they have a big enough representative sample and while controlling for a thousand of confounders out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/21 11:44 PM
7

It was just my perception from the first couple of dates, as I said - I did not develop these relationships further precisely because of this feeling.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/21 11:36 PM
12

Not necessarily in the terms of the OP, no. I've been in a marriage where my ex, effectively, settled for me at a very low point in his life when he thought he couldn't do better. It was not a complete disaster overall, it was a surprisingly functional marriage, but I realised the dynamics much later, of course, was way too deep in love at first. And it ended predictably. Otherwise I did sometimes have this weird feeling with some other men - that literally any other woman could have been in my …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/21 09:37 PM
1

I guess, yes. To be fair, I have not seen a case so far in my life where a man would commit significant resources to a woman before getting anything substantial in return. That is some sort of an omicron-male, not even a beta-male. And even with the bait-level resource signalling, it also depends on the "utility function" of both parties to the transaction. For me as a wide-eyed 20 year old student many moons ago, spending £100 on lunch or drinks would have felt as a massive, almost surreal expe…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/21 06:51 PM
1

It's not necessarily the question of time or energy, some of them genuinely don't want to pursue a relationship with women younger than their daughters - for many reasons, and the lack of supply is not one of them. Thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/21 08:45 AM
3

I would not say I am drowning (or even have been ever drowning) with choice of men at any point in my life, now or before. Still, dating was almost zero effort in my younger days (and I wasn't even remarkably attractive, perfectly average or even below average). Now it requires some effort, but I suspect, the return on investment is still way, way higher than for a man in a similar situation, so can't complain. And it is more satisfying, in a sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 11:19 PM
2

Yes, that's the bits that I enjoy the most too, and also the discussions that follow - it is fascinating how people interpret findings through the prism of their personal experience. A strange case when anecdotes / outliers actually add to the understanding of the hypothesis.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 10:36 PM
3

Oh, I agree to a large extent. It is no longer a numbers game, when you just sit pretty and catalogue every guy who approaches you, and then just pick the one you like the most. And I wasn't even that attractive in the first place, so I guess the wall was a bit softer for me in any case. Both of my post-divorce relationships were with men in mid-50s (I am mid-30 if that matters). Both very decent guys, both after long-term marriages that just dwindled out (and, importantly, after the wild reboun…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 10:22 PM
5

I had a completely opposite impression, that this sub is remarkably high quality - I've been reading for quite a long time before my first comment. Maybe because I started from more extreme edges of the spectrum (both blueshift and redshift) The reason for joining is simple, I have a young son and I already see that the world starts treating him differently compared to a girl, in ways that are not necessarily intuitive to me. So I am just on a reconnaissance mission here - I have a couple of que…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 09:56 PM
7

A sad and lonely place with boxed wine and a couple of cats, rewatching Titanic every weekend?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 09:24 PM
7

Eh, no, quite the opposite, no casual sex at all... I was not "dating" in the tinder/OLD sense though, both of my victims were, err... wild-caught, someone I already knew from work or hobbies. I actually had the opposite problem, with both men wanting to move to the blended family stage way before I was even thinking about it as a realistic option, which made things quite... awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 09:19 PM
5

I had to reprogram quite significantly, but I actually enjoy it much more now compared to my younger years. Nothing like the redpill-sphere imagines a woman's life post-wall, but yes, sadly, it is not effortless anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 08:54 PM
9

I've been married to a man way, way out of my league. I am not quite sure how it happened, to be honest. It ended predictably, with him finding a better option(s) immediately once we had children.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 08:19 PM
1

Interesting re American realities. In the UK a family with a single earner on £100K is roughly in a similar net position as a family with two parents working in unqualified / low qualified jobs (after progressive taxation, welfare and subsidies). "Divorce rape" also does not exist. So the balance is more delicate, and I guess this impacts the dating landscape. The US feels quite ruthless from what I read here.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 01:41 PM
2

I'd be interested in a more strict (and inflation-adjusted) financial definition of a "betabuxx". Yachts and 100K salaries are mentioned in the comments next to each other, but they probably come from very different universes.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 10:29 AM
3

I think the magical six-figure threshold is more of a US thing (and even there, I suspect, outside of certain expensive areas only). I am also in London, and you would now struggle to get a mortgage on a 2 bed flat in a decent area on a salary of £100K as a single borrower here. Hardly a chick magnet.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/21 11:19 PM
1

Humourless bean counters and number crunchers, hmmm... is not toooooo far from the truth. But we are proud of it!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/21 07:44 PM
1

I see, thanks for the answer. I asked as I am an actuary myself, and was quite surprised that it was described as having any degree of prestige.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/21 03:13 PM
13

The difference is that the effective dating strategy for men is pretty much the same at 18, 28, 38 and so on - and not too dependent on their personal situation (apart from clear edge cases). For women, it is very circumstance-specific. The most effective dating strategy for a 21 year old attractive university student and a 38 year old single mother of three are so different that they might as well belong to different sexes - there's very little overlap.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/21 02:27 PM
2

Is actuarial seen as prestigious (ok, semi-prestigious) by the outside world? I am intrigued now.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/21 02:19 PM
9

I think it is a question of correlation vs causation. Will there be "alpha" types that have excess resources? Yes. Will many women be attracted to these resources as well as alpha-traits? Very likely. Will there be "beta" types that have excess resources? Yes. Will many women be attracted to these resources despite beta-traits? Very likely. How to tell the two scenarios above apart with certainty? I have no idea. One sure-fire litmus test for "alpha" traits, from my perspective, is when the situ…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/21 01:35 PM
1

I'd add Does not badmouth her ex (-es), even if they objectively were shit. Actually, applicable to both sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/21 12:50 PM
2

Yes, I also accept this explanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/21 10:21 AM
2

I guess it depends on the lived reality of a person too. I actually discovered TRP and the associated spheres exactly because I hit the wall myself and for some time did wonder precisely "where have all the good men gone". Had someone told me at 25 that a time will come when I won't have a couple of quality men immediately available for a LTR within a phone call's distance, I'd laugh. And I am not even spectacularly attractive - probably between 4 and 6, depending on the effort. TRP chooses to f…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/21 09:53 AM
3

Honestly, the gap between some "3-4" and "7-8" on that chart (female) can actually quite easily be bridged with talented make up. Heather Matarazzo is a "3.5"? On which planet do the chart authors live?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/21 04:40 PM
0

Whoopie Goldberg is definitely st least a 5. She was quite hot when young.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/21 02:11 PM
3

I think "the wall" / dating imbalance shifting in favour of men in mid-30s is real. I tend to agree that there's a (negative) correlation between how attractive a woman is and the "quality" of her personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/21 02:00 PM
1

Because I have a boy to bring up without a male role model and I want to at least try to understand how it works from the other side's perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/21 01:35 PM
1

Not familiar with the area, I am in the UK. Maybe cultural differences then. I cannot claim to know countless multimillionaire families - only a few, and even then I don't have a very good idea of ins and outs of their daily life. Those few that I know well, women cook only if it is their hobby (and even then it is once or less a week as a treat, the BAU cooking is done by the housekeeper). They are definitely solely responsible for the household in a managerial way though (organising and paying…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/21 04:40 PM
1

I doubt very much that a hedge fund owner expects cooking and cleaning from his wife, unless she's doing it as a hobby / special treat. I am nowhere that level, with just a mid-level professional career - but even in my house all cleaning and cooking is outsourced.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/21 03:56 PM
1

I don't think there is a significant difference between a man earning 100K and his female colleague earning 50K in a professional environment. It is a gap in salary that can be easily crossed in a few years in many places, nowhere near the millionaire / barista example.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/21 03:51 PM
9

I guess there are many female participants who are regular readers but are very, very rarely commenting on anything, like myself. There are often quite interesting thoughts expressed here.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/11/21 04:48 PM
1

Down Syndrome (and a couple of others) is extremely reliably screened for these days with prenatal genetic testing.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen08/11/21 07:01 AM
1

I think it is simply a question of differences in definitions then, not necessarily that someone is lying. The absolute majority of children go to school - either from single parent families (whether sole custody, shared custody or any other possible arrangement under the sun) or two parent families. In the strict definition that you are trying to invoke (24h attachment to the child), there's almost no one who would qualify as a full-time parent then, irrespective of being single or coupled, onc…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen28/10/21 07:41 PM
1

Well, kids - if older - are not 24 hours a day, they are usually at school say 9 to 4/5, which gives enough time for work and study (plus a couple of hours after they are in bed). It is hard, but possible - well, depending on the job and education. What is implausible then, of course, is that this person finds any time for dating at all (if it was in their dating profile).
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen28/10/21 06:50 PM
1

Out of interest, why was it that shocking? Genuine question. Could have been me last year, exactly in that situation.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen28/10/21 06:34 PM
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