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oneconfusedwriter Archive

View 3 posts and 29 comments by oneconfusedwriter on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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15

Yes! As someone who was part of toxic pro-ED communities when I was at my worst, it concerns me a lot when I start to see RPW sliding in that direction, especially since I know there are a lot of insecure very young women here. We oppose the body positivity movement for uncritically supporting unhealthy weights, but then I see women here turn around and do the exact same thing, only advocating being underweight instead. Eating disorders are SO painful, dangerous, and unattractive, and it really …
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/20 08:57 PM
30

In the US, yes, the girls who get the most attention are on the thinner side of the healthy range, but it's by no means necessary for landing a good guy since there is a lot of variability in individual preference. I think that for a lot of us, being at our thinnest also coincided with being quite young, and I think that age is a better predictor of male attention than BMI overall. We also might be more confident at lower weights and put more effort into our appearance and showing off our bodies…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/20 06:50 PM
4

This is awesome, nothing wrong with it! Just make sure that if it's still very early days in the relationship, and especially if you haven't gotten a real commitment yet, that you're receiving as well as giving. You can't go wrong dressing up and investing time into looking nice, but I'd caution you against cooking all his meals and cleaning his house for him too early on, lest you remind him of his mother. Cooking him a nice meal for date night is great, but packing his lunch for him everyday o…
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/20 01:42 PM
4

Wow, this is him to a T! The trouble is compounded by the fact that I'm a pretty right-brained person, so it doesn't bother me if I sacrifice a bit of efficiency to just going with the flow and having a more relaxed time (which is also why I don't always appreciate him constantly butting in on my more chill approach to life; I just can't make my brain work like that any more than he can suddenly become like me). It's sometimes funny because he will spend so much time standing around planning how…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/20 08:41 PM
15

Yeah, you're right. I need to stop doubting myself so much. I think that RP has been really helpful in my life and alleviated a lot of my relationship issues previously, so I was a little worried about "getting it wrong" in this situation and straying off the path so to speak. We have had progress with this issue just by respectfully talking it out and that is what we need to continue to keep doing; I think he gets so focused on what he thinks is the most efficient or best way to do something th…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/20 02:19 PM
–

I'm temporarily living in a place with a nice big kitchen so this month I will bake one new recipe each week to build up my baking skills. As per my last post here, I'm also continually working on letting my man lead and being more agreeable. I got some good advice on my post so now I just have to try to put it into action!
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/20 06:20 PM
2

Thanks for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response! It's nice to hear from women who've been through something similar. <3
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/20 08:58 PM
3

Yes, and I disagree with you. I wouldn't say that respect only exists in RP relationships, and women operating under the notion of egalitarianism don't actively "submit" to their partners at all, but I wouldn't say that means they can't love and respect them; it's just a different path than the one we choose. Even for many RP ladies, it takes undoing years of blue-pill programming and honestly just going somewhat against the way you've been socialized if you were raised to be independent and opi…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/20 08:45 PM
1

About your first sentence, I guess I conceptualize it in a similar way to meditation. The aim is peaceful ease but it's still a practice that has to be cultivated through effort if we've been accustomed to doing the opposite (like I was pre-RP). I suppose my question was how to better focus my efforts in a way that produce better results than I'm getting now, and I feel like the common thread from the answers here is that I CAN make my thoughts known, but that I should say them gently and be rea…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/20 08:01 PM
9

This is good advice that I'll have to keep in mind. Often the issue for me is that I'm inclined to be more careful about pretty much everything than he is. I need to remind myself that he's a successful adult who's gotten to where he is now without issue. It does give me anxiety taking the potentially riskier path but unless it's a serious safety issue or something, I'm realizing that it can be a form of exposure therapy to just trust his judgment and let go more.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/20 07:51 PM
2

No, because he's not very online and is blissfully unaware of all this stuff, and I wouldn't want to put him through all that culture shock. We talk about how we're both happier when I stay at home, and also the fact that he's "the boss," but he has a pretty old-fashioned view of women still so I feel like he would find the male-oriented RP stuff extremely rough.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/20 04:31 PM
3

I'd imagine he probably feels bad about breaking the pool pump, right? How has he been since then? Perhaps that'll be the wake-up call that he needs to be more cautious and / or enlist the help of a professional. This is a situation that does require a lot of delicacy, but if he continues breaking things you really can't stay silent forever. If you are open to working on things WITH him, maybe you can say, "That looks really interesting and I've been wanting to become more handy... Would you min…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/20 04:06 PM
14

Agree with others on the K-Drama thing, can't recommend getting into them enough! I also love Christmas movies for this reason; there's still no shortage of romantic Christmas movies.
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/20 02:54 PM
9

If you love the man and still have a sex life, then that's better than most people get in life! If one or both of those factors are missing though, it's better to remain single.
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/20 02:51 PM
9

Like you, I'm not drawn to having a career, and I'm very blessed to have found a partner who is happy to support me. I think the stigma against homemakers and SAHMs is terribly sad and overall bad for society. That being said, while you're single, you need to be working on making yourself a complete and attractive person, and that will involve developing your own interests and passions outside of a relationship. You don't need to become a surgeon or a businesswoman if that isn't what compels you…
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/20 01:06 PM
5

I admire women with this saintly of an attitude; this is how I aspire to be, but I'm far from it. I am privileged to work part-time and from home now, and even so my man will sometimes cook dinner after getting home from work, though most of the time it's me. When my hours were just as long and hard as his, (we would both work about 12 hour days) the result was that housework just didn't get done, dinners were super simple and he'd cook as often as I did, and we were both a lot more tense and un…
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/20 09:09 PM
25

I'm just saying, if we think so little of men, I'm not sure why we're pursuing them in the first place? In my view the end goal of RPW dating strategy is not just "get rich man" or whatever, it's to attain (and maintain) a fulfilling relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/20 01:26 PM
25

Honestly this is something we tend to gloss over in RP spaces, but there are definitely different types of "high-value" men out there who value different things. One lady's high-value man might be a Chad businessman who dates models before settling down with the perfect Stacey who will impress his colleagues, another can be a guy who works with his hands and marries the nice girl from his church, and a third can be a computer programmer who's looking for a girl who's well-read and trilingual... …
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/20 01:11 PM
44

Yes! I feel like there's a lot of very young women in this sub who take the reasonable, common-sense values of "Take good care of yourself and do your best to look pretty for your man" and warp them into something really unhealthy that will only bring them unhappiness in life. If a happy marriage is what you're after, "forget about your other virtues and just focus on looking like a Barbie doll" is frankly some of the most harmful advice a young woman could get.
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/20 11:51 AM
21

I disagree if you're looking for a life that is truly fulfilling, rather than impressive on paper. Yes, looks matter a lot more than blue pill and feminism will tell you, but even then it's still mostly just taking good care of yourself, learning what's flattering and attractive, and putting in a solid effort. You don't have to have won the genetic lottery in any way if you're sweet, feminine, and overall pleasant to be around. Most of the 10s I've met are chronically single or serial daters who…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/20 11:46 AM
2

This was so true for me! In high school especially all of my friends were guys, and it took me a long time to realize that the reason they seemed so much more receptive and attentive to our "friendship" was the possibility of it becoming something more, even though I had a boyfriend all that time. I was by no means the prettiest girl around, and I've always been a girly girl so it's not like we had all that much in common. I think that, for better or for worse, a feminine personality (sweetness,…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/20 12:57 PM
14

I feel like the relation to RPW is that many women in this community (like myself) do in fact apply the strategies with an ultimate aim toward a more traditional, rather "old-fashioned" relationship. There's literally not a thing in the world wrong with that; you just need to be upfront and unashamed. To me, it's just so much more romantic, and it's more representative of how I wanted to be treated overall: I'm not trying to be your roommate or your buddy, I want to be the woman you're trying to…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/20 04:26 PM
8

It was about 50 days in the future when I first brought it up, but now it’s within the week which is why my anxiety is growing about it. I will try to remember to update the sub either way.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/20 05:30 PM
3

Thanks. You’re definitely right, and it’s helpful to hear from women on the other side of all this!
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/20 05:26 PM
13

Thanks for the response! I think it's most likely that he's gotten bogged down in the details of the proposal itself. I'm pretty sure that he did have something planned for the spring that had to be cancelled because of COVID. I know that he's a procrastinator about all kinds of things, and I also know that he seems to be a lot more invested in a big public proposal than I am. I've told him many times that I'm happy with a very chill proposal (and a small budget wedding), but all of his friends …
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/20 02:38 PM
1

I do like it a lot, along with color seasons (soft natural deep winter reporting for business!) However, I'm also very into fashion in general and have a personal style that doesn't always match these systems, and I think that's okay too. For example, I'm a huge girly girl, so I like to wear soft baby pinks (not ideal for winters) and lacy stuff that has more of a pure romantic vibe than soft natural. I feel like the world would be a pretty boring place if all the women who have the same body ty…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/20 02:26 PM
30

I think there's a lot of value in taking care of your body and appearance, but I also think it can get unhealthy viewing other women as your competition 100% of the time. I say this as someone with a history of eating disorder; the most liberating thing is to realize that as long as you are taking care of yourself and being healthy, a good man will be drawn to your unique charms and femininity regardless of whether you're the hottest, skinniest Stacy on the block. But then again, I don't want th…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/20 11:46 AM
7

I'm in a very similar boat! I'm 25, a huge progressive, and also a happy homemaker who loves living a more traditional lifestyle with my amazing man. Of course not all RPW stay at home and that's valid too, but it was tough for me reconciling my strong left-wing beliefs (and the opinions of my super feminist social circle) with my desire to stay home and care for my home and family, and this subreddit helped me a lot with that.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/20 09:39 PM
12

There are left wing libertarians, though they can go by different names. Basically the green quadrant of the political compass!
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/20 09:32 PM
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