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onestepatatimeman Archive

View 5 posts and 36 comments by onestepatatimeman on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I'm in my 20s and don't have children so take my advice with a grain of salt. What's helped me when people would brand me with names like "soyboy", "effeminate", "beta" was showing them I had an ugly side too. Keep in mind that I am in no way physically imposing. Obviously there are other approaches such as not treating them seriously or laughing off their insults and leave them feeling like children, or even ignoring them. When I showed them that I was capable of getting angry, and in a manner …
/r/MenSupportMen07/11/24 08:01 PM
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I went on a date with a second girl, 5 years after the first girl I dated. Both of these were the only real women ever to match with me on a dating app. I have a fair amount of self esteem and mental health troubles that I've been working on for the past years. I had a great two dates with her. I'm too afraid of offending/creeping a girl out so I don't ever make a move. The biggest 'move' I made was to hold her hand for a while after the second date as we waited for her train. Made plans for a t…
/r/MenSupportMen22/09/24 06:56 AM
9

Let me know when you find out. I'm struggle with expressing my sexuality as a regular ass straight man without thinking I'm creepy for doing so.
/r/MenSupportMen15/09/24 11:33 AM
1

How though? I keep seeing vague advice about how to flirt. Just be funny. Just don't take yourself seriously. Just tease her. Or just warch Craig Ferguson. I have no idea what any of these mean. Like what do they translate to? I don't want to be a clown and entertain her. It's gonna make me look like a fool. How did you learn to flirt?
/r/seduction09/08/24 09:48 AM
1

Bruh, women don't even want to be friends with me, even when I have zero romantic or sexual intentions
/r/seduction02/07/24 01:28 AM
2

I guess my biggest issue then, is my inability to read this specific set of cues from women. Like what they you said about flirting - I've heard this before that flirting can be just for fun. I always thought flirting was something you do with someone you're interested in. Besides, I don't even know how to flirt with a stranger, so I'm nervous about saying something and it being too forward. I don't know how to even practice flirting. I think you misunderstood the part of me offering to walk wit…
/r/MenSupportMen02/07/24 01:08 AM
5

You're right. Better to self reflect on what went wrong after trying something. I spent too long on learning what not to do, and didn't learn much on what to do.
/r/MenSupportMen01/07/24 06:15 PM
3

It is not, but I also learned pretty early that they were in a dysfunctional marriage. I probably still did learn some shit from them.
/r/MenSupportMen01/07/24 06:11 PM
9

My parents got an arranged marriage and I reaaaaalllyyy don't want to go down that route
/r/MenSupportMen01/07/24 01:41 PM
3

No, I don't disagree on the Indian thing. I think I assimilated fairly well. Folks sometimes think I'm local because I naturally don't have an Indian accent. It's not self hating but you're right that we live in a society where such stereotypes exist.
/r/MenSupportMen01/07/24 01:38 PM
2

I definitely don't act like a retarded fob. I have no racial preference, and definitely don't have a white fetish. All that I said abovr, applies to Indian girls too. It doesn't help that I don't speak Hindi. Funny thing is, guys just assume I get laid a lot and come to me for advice. I don't have the heart to tell them I'm a loser in the dating world. That's a good point about emulating someone, and tbh, I did try. I'm more of a Kal Penn guy, and wish I could be as suave as Sendhil Ramamurthy o…
/r/MenSupportMen01/07/24 12:24 PM
3

In the US
/r/MenSupportMen01/07/24 11:49 AM
12

Zero matches, buddy. The one girl I dated, was the only match I've ever gotten on history. Since then, it's been 8 years of zero matches. Got my profile reviewed, took good pictures of me doing things to show my personality, had a fun short bio. Tried different locations and different apps I get likes from extremely obese women.
/r/MenSupportMen01/07/24 11:32 AM
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...I went to the nightclub once. I also mentioned that I've pursued platonic relationships without romantic intention at all. Sorry, I know you have good intentions but half of your post is about nightclub - I don't go anymore. It was just a "try uncomfortable things" thing that I did.
/r/MenSupportMen20/06/24 12:28 AM
1

Sorry, but I think this is a lost avenue. My sister and I have an okay relationship, but we don't talk that frequently. We weren't really very close in our growing years, because we both went to different schools and colleges, had different friend circles and didn't really see much of each other at home. I live in a different country. We text sometimes on what's going on at home. We're not super close.
/r/MenSupportMen09/03/23 11:12 PM
1

I haven't gone to my sister for advice in this area. It's embarrassing for me to talk about it on an online forum anyway - I'm not going to my sister on advice on how I can make myself more sexually attractive.
/r/MenSupportMen09/03/23 11:03 PM
1

Your comments strike me as someone pursuing sex when that’s not the first thing what women want. I can see why I come across that way. As far as I understand, each woman is a different person - some of them want a more emotional connection. Some of them want safety. Some of them want to have fun. Some want a provider. Some want the physical attraction. I could go on listing other qualities. My mindset really comes from a fear of missing out - I see people around me having sexual relationships of…
/r/MenSupportMen09/03/23 10:50 PM
2

Harsh truths. I'm 26 - I know how skewed the world is in terms of dating, but I figure I have to play the cards I'm dealt. I can't be complaining that women have it easier, simply because I can't do anything about it. Maybe one day I will be attractive and desirable enough for women to approach me of their own volition. However, I also want to be able to approach them on my own and be accepted as an attractive man. I guess my deeper issue is that I'm nervous as hell about the embarrassment and t…
/r/MenSupportMen07/03/23 08:02 PM
2

I think of all the comments, you understand my situation the most accurately. It's not like I was a complete loner. Just that my circle of friends was pretty small and didn't involve women - for what it's worth, it has just been plain easier to socialize with guys because I'm not nervous about them thinking I'm a creep who is trying to get laid.
/r/MenSupportMen07/03/23 07:55 PM
2

What happened in your case?
/r/MenSupportMen07/03/23 10:01 AM
1

Thanks for your advice. When I said the red pill isn't for me, I did intend to mean that the dehumanizing and misogyny wasn't for me. I did understand the other parts of it which I've tried to cherry pick in my self-improvement journey. I guess my problem is my social skills aren't that great - with men and women alike. I can't quite "sell" myself as a fun person to be around until you get to know me, which is paradoxical. I find it hard to make friends with new people, which really is just a mo…
/r/MenSupportMen07/03/23 06:25 AM
3

Definitely been considering it. Your comment might just be the push I need to stop considering it and start doing it.
/r/MenSupportMen07/03/23 06:19 AM
1

I struggle with making friends in general - it is something I'm working on. Question for you though - do you approach friendships with women differently? I mean, as platonic friends. I sometimes look at some women who I think would make cool friends, but I'm nervous about talking to them because they might think I'm just trying to get in their pants.
/r/MenSupportMen07/03/23 06:19 AM
5

I try to help people, not because I want to please them and gain their approval. It's more of a behavior that comes from realizing there is a lot of pain and suffering in this world, and I just want to help alleviate some of that - and I honestly don't expect anything from people when I try to help.
/r/MenSupportMen07/03/23 06:16 AM
3

I've heard of the book, and I think it's time for me to get around to reading it. I understood a while back that being a nice person isn't going to get me far in this world, even if it makes me feel at peace with myself. That's perhaps a little bit of what I've been doing - not to women alone, but to people in general. I read this article, which supposedly went viral a decade ago: https://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person Anyway, thanks for sharing some advice.
/r/MenSupportMen07/03/23 06:14 AM
1

I'll be honest - I've thought about it, and shyed away from it. Maybe it's time to reconsider and give it a go. I always thought speed dating gave off desperation vibes, but that's my own personal bias. Thanks!
/r/MenSupportMen07/03/23 06:10 AM
2

Your empathy alone is enough, man. It's not a competition between you and me - it's just a weird world out there that I don't feel like I fit in. Hope you find what you're looking for.
/r/MenSupportMen07/03/23 06:09 AM
7

Listen, man. I'm 24 years old and have no life experience (i.e., 0 relationships and sperms only down the drain and never down a vagina) to corroborate this, but hear me out for a second. It is a tough time to be in this world. Perhaps in a sense it always was, but in my opinion, it is a tough time to be in this world. No matter who you are. Straight, gay, white, black, man, woman, trans - whatever. It is going to feel like the world is against you. The thing is, when you feel oppressed by the t…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/11/21 06:59 PM
22

I hate the term 'incel'. I have never spoken about this, but a response to a reddit comment is as good as it gets, so here goes. Incel is short for 'involuntary celibate'. Unfortunately, it describes me. I am a virgin, and not by choice. I have trouble getting women to notice me, be my friend, like me, date me, or have sex with me. And believe you me, I have been trying and will continue to try. I don't fault a woman if she does not want to have something to do with me. For good or bad, people h…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates15/11/21 07:29 AM
1

I don't know, but I am exactly one of these men that you talk about. Feel free to DM me, and maybe we can work on a solution.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/05/21 09:14 PM
7

The differences, I've found, between what society tells you it wants and what it actually wants is vast. Society tells you what it wants through the lens of what it wants you to think of it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates26/04/21 05:56 AM
1

Thanks for your response and your perspective. do the opposite of what trying to get a girl is This sounds interesting and like it could work. I will try it. I guess my problem is that - it would be like telling you to talk to men the same way you talk to women. You have your reasons why it does not seem to work for you. Similarly, maybe just because of my natural style, it might seem like I am trying to hit on them when I'm really just interested in them as a friend. I admit, I am a tad skeptic…
/r/ExRedPill22/02/21 06:14 PM
1

Thanks for understanding my position. I tend to feel frustrated when people say I'm reading too much into it, because I am not a reactionary person and would only come to that conclusion that if I have overwhelmingly observed it to be true. Could you tell me if there are any subtle differences to the way you approach friendships with women as opposed to men?
/r/ExRedPill22/02/21 06:09 PM
3

Probably best not to talk about sex with women, unless you have known them for a while and they feel totally comfortable with you. This is logical, and truth be told, this is my default state. I only tried it after seeing other guys talk to their female friends.
/r/ExRedPill22/02/21 04:02 AM
1

Follow up question then - how do I retain a woman's friendship? I'll tell you why I am asking. On some occasions, I have been able to talk to women without appearing nervous. They seem cool as well. Mostly classmates. After the initial conversation, how do I continue maintaining a friendship with them? With a guy, I would not feel uncomfortable texting them. With a girl, I tend to think she might feel like I'm trying to slide into her DMs. For example, I have sometimes asked to study together wi…
/r/ExRedPill22/02/21 03:59 AM
2

Thanks for the advice. "Female friends" sounds more grammatically correct compared to "women friends" or "girl friends". I referred to them as women in the post as well.
/r/ExRedPill22/02/21 03:20 AM
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