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ouishi Archive

View 0 posts and 1,489 comments by ouishi on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

Sounds like a great outcome either way! Wishing you all the best out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 02:39 PM
–

I wouldn't start swiping on people you don't feel any attraction to, but I would reevaluate some of your instincts. Baldness is something you might end up with anyway even if the guy has thick hair now. Chubby is something you might end up with even if the guy is fit now. Also, a living breathing talking moving person is different than an image on a screen. I encourage you to meet as many ppl irl as possible to evaluate, even if you first meet on the apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:24 PM
–

Are people not similarly "wired" by socialization and stereotypes? Just because it's common doesn't mean it's biological? Here's how I know it's bullshit stereotypes: I've had countless straight men try to convince me, a nonbinary person, to be "their woman." Even long after I have explained that I'm not and will never be a woman and they could never refer to me as she/her. Sometimes they are even "conservative" guys. If heterosexuals were biologically "wired" to have an aversion to queer people…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:20 PM
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Right? She should added race, ethnicity, and age to the list to understand how she sounds.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:13 PM
–

Speak for yourself, and send those shy bi boys my way!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:12 PM
–

This is fascinating. I've been wondering if longer lifespans and reaching milestones later are part of the same phenomenon. Twenties just feels so young and inexperienced to be making such big decisions...
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 03:01 AM
–

I am on the spectrum, as is the person I'm currently seeing. I understand why you'd want a system, but doing anything other than being your authentic self will lead you astray and prevent you from experiencing a positive outcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 02:22 AM
–

Yesss, this is the way. I left strategies and insecurities in my 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:20 AM
–

Am I crazy for not having a system? I do not experience physical attraction, so I go by what I know about the person, based on their profile or personality or whatever. I ignore people who don't fill out their profile or sound incompatible. If I want to get to know someone better, I strike up a conversation based on whatever caught my eye, a common interest, a shared value, just really digging their style, whatever. I tell them whatever comes to my mind and ask them questions again as they come …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:18 AM
–

Also constant adult supervision too, in previous generations kids could disappear for hours and it was okay. My sister and I just rewatched Independence Day (1996). She was immediately alarmed by one of the early scenes where the adults are talking in the kitchen one morning and a young kid comes crawling through the dog door, presumably from playing alone. She was like "Where did this kid come from? Who was watching him outside?!" I reminded her that back in 1996, we used to leave the house fro…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:04 AM
–

I can't say I see anything wrong with this approach, as long as there is a bit of time between "I'm not ready yet" and the next ask. "I'm not ready yet" also isn't a no, it's clear communication that I would appreciate from a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 06:45 PM
–

Red is pretty much already the go-to word for this in the kink scene. Lots of people use traffic lights. Green, yellow, and red can each be a question and a statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 06:44 PM
–

Yeah, this sounds like a perfectly reasonable approach. I do think you are spot on that you should've communicated more about it. Not asking directly, the way you waited was good, but like you said, more generally about what sex means to you and what you enjoy, what she enjoys, etc. I'm a wait-er, takes me a long time to warm up to a new potential partner, but I do talk a lot about sex early on to help determine compatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 06:42 PM
–

It explains so much really. But it's good that men are coming out and being open with these methods. When I was a kid, this advice was passed father to son and among boys in the locker room, out of sight for the rest of us. Now that we are more open with how normal this behavior is, it's both easier to call out and easier to warn young women to avoid. But most people still have to learn the hard way...
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 06:38 PM
–

No, it's coercion, which is what everyone here is calling it. It may not be illegal, but that doesn't make it good or right either.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 06:35 PM
–

And the person who won't accept a "no" is similarly weak for not taking a hint and putting themself in a situation that will give them a bad reputation among women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 06:32 PM
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I think I agree with you. But it's socialization that's the issue and it's one reason guys prefer younger women, because they aren't experienced enough to realize they can keep saying no. When you are young, social consequences seem so much more severe, but hopefully people can grow out of that. I know I let my bf in middle and high school coerce me into doing a lot of things I wasn't ready for, but I hold myself responsible for not standing up for myself. Ultimately we are each responsible for …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 06:31 PM
1

Didn't he specifically say this applies to men and women? So everyone manages their own emotional responses and the partner is there for support. No one should be in charge of managing your emotional responses as an adult, man or woman, but you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 03:42 PM
3

Sure, when that's a discussion ahead of time, but assuming every woman is into CNC without discussion is wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 12:35 AM
–

Be myself, speak up when feelings develop, respect their response either way. This is the only "tactic" I've ever used.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 05:23 PM
–

The question you should be asking yourself is: Why should any woman date a man who doesn't care about her pleasure or existence as anything other than his sex doll? Seriously, what's in it for her?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 02:31 PM
–

So you are mad no one is reading your mind? Grow up. You have to communicate what you what and feel, no one magically knows.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 02:27 PM
–

I work for a non-profit employer...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 02:26 PM
10

You are literally arguing against "no means no" here. Close the thread, OP said the quiet part out loud.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 02:16 PM
5

Lying is not manipulative in your book?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 02:12 PM
6

How is lying to them "showing them you are safe" and not a con?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 02:01 PM
2

Aspire? Depends on my partner, I don't really have a strong preference. Multiple times a day or week might be too much with one partner but just right with another. It's about the chemistry and our own meshing preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 11:47 PM
6

Sexual compatibility requires me being comfortable enough to have with someone, that takes me about 3-6 months. It doesn't mean I don't value compatibility. I talk about sex much earlier on to figure those things out. Honestly, it's usually part of the flirting stage.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 09:58 PM
–

I see complaints from guys about being used for free meals all the time, and yes, they get sympathy around here.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 01:34 PM
0

Men are regarded as having poorer mental health literacy compared to women as they are worse at identifying mental health disorders (Cotton, Wright, Harris, Jorm, & McGorry, 2006; Swami, 2014). https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6560805/
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 10:28 PM
6

As a woman, I have been arguing to get rid of it entirely or include women since I was a teen. I got into arguments about the draft with every recruiter that came to school. You can't even voluntarily sign up as a female, I've tried.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 02:17 PM
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How is dancing with somebody count as sex or flirting, I don't get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 02:36 PM
1

Got a source to support this statement? Or are women over 25 invisible to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 02:35 PM
–

If you don't want to date women who grind on random guys at bars, don't. Tell me, when you ask them out do you tell them that you expect them to be different in a relationship with you? Or do you just randomly start demanding they change after they commit to you? Do they know this is a requirement beforehand?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 06:39 AM
15

Really? You don't think both should be frowned upon?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 11:45 PM
0

I really don't see it. I stumble on things on other subs occasionally but I never hear this shit come up irl, it's not on my Insta nor TikTok. It really simply isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 11:44 PM
3

Why? If I'm in a relationship with someone, I am sharing my life with them and I expect them to do the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 11:37 PM
1

I don't lie to my partner and I do not tolerate my partner lying to me, outside of surprises, which I like to call "lies with an expiration date."
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 11:36 PM
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Do you think a guy is dressing up as Winnie the Pooh and prancing around to cheer up one of his guy friends? Yes, actually. Many of my guy friends are theater kids. I can imagine any number them doing this.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 11:28 PM
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Tbh, I can never remember if it's neurodiverse or neurodivergent or something else and I know I'm not supposed to use one of them but I can never remember which, hence the slang.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 06:06 PM
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A more fun way to say not neurotypical.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 05:58 PM
2

Or you are one of those who think that women are socially conditioned to what they are attracted to and can be "re-programmed" to find a much wider set of men attractive? Isn't the social influence on beauty standards already well understood? You act like this is impossible but it's evidenced throughout history. In just my lifetime, we've already gone from "heroin chic" to "thick thighs save lives." Take a kilt. I don't think a kilt is inherently sexy, or would be interpreted as such by so many …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 03:27 PM
8

Divorced men prefer to remarry with younger women. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12158964/
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 03:23 PM
1

So go out to quiet D&D pubs, my city has a couple.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 04:46 AM
0

I disagree, they give character to a blank canvas. I similarly like tooth gaps and snaggleteeth.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 04:43 AM
8

I personally have been silent, gently moaned, grunted, squealed, screamed, and probably made many different noises while orgasming, not always correlating to intensity. I personally prefer audible feedback, otherwise how do I know when I'm hitting the right spots? All the men and women I've talked to about it prefer an at least somewhat vocal partner. Authenticity is always best IMHO.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 01:17 AM
1

Social anxiety is higher than ever, no? Fewer Gen Z men are approaching women as in previous generations?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 05:48 PM
5

So men shouldn't vote then either, since they are socially conditioned to approach and pay and bitch about despite having a choice in the matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 04:34 PM
2

Men go through midlife crisis and blew up their lives too, do they get to blame society? Sometimes they turn into mass shooters, so maybe not the parallel you want to draw...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 04:32 PM
4

Well, usually assholes are also good at pretending to be non-assholes. Getting to know people takes time, ya know?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 03:18 PM
1

I do, and I encourage my girl friends to do the same. You'll have to ask them what their problem is. Probably whatever is going on with the half of Gen Z men who've never asked someone out either. Too much social anxiety these days. I get it, I just got over it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 02:34 PM
7

Is the man not smart enough to recognize the pattern of the trash being full once dinner is prepared?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 02:29 PM
7

I'm happy to report that, as a service sub, I come across plenty of men with this attitude too.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 02:26 PM
3

Because the assholes are talking to chicks while the shy guys are across the room staring at their shoes.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 02:22 PM
4

Granted, this is also something I've only read about online and has happened in exactly 0 scenarios I or my friends have been in with women. This is the crux of the gender wars. One bad experience with a partner and suddenly it's "all men" or "all women." Seriously, in this thread we have one man describing the actions of one woman and somehow all women have to answer for it?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 02:20 PM
1

How does he know? Was he in the bedroom with his ex for all of her past relationships? Or is he purposefully filling in the gaps with the least charitable explanation?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 02:14 PM
1

Address the root causes. Too many different people find mates to require reconstructive surgery. Fashion and confidence are quite effective. I don't think we should erase any part of ourself, rather understand our true self vs the parts built for survival. The 8 Cs are a great guide.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 03:33 AM
2

I live no lie. I accept that I don't know the future and there is plenty of both good and evil in the world and in most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 02:11 AM
1

You are the one you have to live with forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 02:05 AM
1

I have all of the above. I went to therapy and found the right meds. It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 01:12 AM
2

Exactly. I'm neurospicy, disabled, non-binary trans, and was bullied, abused, and neglected. I was dealt a shit hand, but I confronted the damage head on. It took years of hard work, but I finally know peace. At some point, it becomes a choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 01:11 AM
2

I'm nothing like most women, which is one of the reason I don't consider myself one. People just assume I am because I'm drawn that way, to paraphrase Jessica Rabbit. I've almost exclusively done the approaching in my relationships, tyvm.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 01:02 AM
0

AFAB enby
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 03:08 PM
-4

I do approach both men and women
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 02:56 PM
3

Yes and I have. R4R ftw!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 01:27 PM
1

I do not disagree at all. Joining a hobby group is a great way to make new friends who then introduce you to new groups and individuals... I seriously question the type of people who gravitate towards dating apps. I am neurospicy and queer, yet I manage to meet people IRL depsite my tiny dating pool. I always recommend IRL over online.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 12:42 AM
2

Actually, I've only ever played rugby with women and hardly know any guys through rugby. I've met guys through skating, cycling, mental health support groups, carving a pumpkin that looked like the death star, and bonding over music. Plenty of women do those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 12:41 AM
1

If paternity fraud is illegal in this scenario, you'd be falsely accusing her of a crime, similar to false rape allegations. Could similarly ruin her reputation...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 12:22 AM
3

What about the men that have dated me living their regular lives? I've never dated a chad of any sort.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 12:11 AM
4

And I've mostly had allo partners, who I have sex with. What difference does it make? Does it not count as dating or sex just because I don't go AWOOGA at naked bodies?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 11:41 PM
-11

Half of straight Gen Z men have never once approached a woman. How much effort are they really putting in? Or is doing nothing but passively swiping on an app considered great effort now?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 11:40 PM
1

But living a full life also helps attract partners. I have met most of my partners in person by chance or online through shared interests (not OLD). When I have matched on OLD, it's been because of my active life, people like the rugby and hiking pics!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 11:37 PM
1

who dares to try to connect and find romance honestly. There's certainly nuance to it. Why doesn't he go to a matchmaker or dating event if that is all his intentions are? Don't join a hobby you aren't interested in or doesn't appeal to you, otherwise you are just another man trying to manipulate a woman into sleeping with them. How much "connection" is he seeking if he asks out half the girls in the hobby group?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 11:34 PM
0

But if you’re struggling to find dates, and already have the rest of your life in relative order, Do such people actually exist? I've seen lots of guys on here talk about having it all but one thing. They say they are friendly, have hobbies, a good job, and everything they need in life except a mate. However, they usually also have deep unresolved trauma from bullying, rejection, or isolation, which they refuse to address because "therapy doesn't work for men" or whatever lie is going around the…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 11:26 PM
4

You literally cannot control anyone but yourself. There is no forcing someone to learn. Many people refuse to learn over and over. You can try to teach them how to reflect on their actions, but telling them they are bad people certainly can't be a helpful strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 03:53 PM
2

You are joking, but I do see serious comments like this all the time. Neither gender is trusted by the other. Y'all forget we are all just hairless apes sharing a floating rock.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 02:38 PM
29

If I develop a crush on someone, I tell them, and I expect them to do the same for me. We're adults, not high schoolers after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 01:25 PM
1

Not the article I was thinking of, but found this which clearly shows hosuehold income is inversely tied to obesity in women but not men: https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/66/wr/mm6650a1.htm
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 09:38 PM
1

Men are basically the same BMI as women. At lower incomes, yes, but men have higher BMIs than women as you increase income brackets.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 08:18 PM
–

Not a dealbreaker for me, I love kids!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 02:25 PM
7

The good news is that it's already getting better: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4945059/ I struggled with alximythia into my 30s, I know the struggle well. It's not their fault, but it is their responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 02:24 PM
–

Try dance clubs/karaoke bars. Girls love these places. Bonus points if it has a patio quiet enough to chat on.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 12:31 AM
–

Its funny you think these people go from ugly weird creep to suddenly turn into giga chad or giga stacy in person No one appears to be claiming that but you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 12:24 AM
0

When and where was the forced rent freeze? I thought progressives didn't have power to make these kinds of laws? I didn't comment on it because that hasn't happened where I live so I don't know anything about it. But you think affordable housing is a bad government policy? People aren't allowed to price gouge water or food or medicine, why should they be allowed to do so with shelter?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:14 PM
2

It's not about trying or not trying, it's about being a complete person on your own. If you feel like you are missing your better half, you probably aren't putting your best most confident foot forward.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:13 PM
4

If you have no life outside of seeking romance, what is there to give up?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:43 PM
0

By "forcing," do you mean suggesting? Who is coming into your house and forcing you to change your thermostat? In which US state are you now unable to buy meat or dairy for human consumption? You are "forced" to pay taxes for things that directly and indirectly benefit you. Don't like it, move somewhere else and stop enjoying the perks of first world society like paved roads, hospitals that can't turn you away, police, general literacy - or would you rather live in an illiterate society? You are…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:30 PM
2

It is neither simple nor low priority for most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:22 PM
–

Nope, American musician.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 09:29 PM
–

And amazingly enough, the 5'7" guys I know don't struggle. Even the 5'4" guy I know doesn't struggle. Height is so emphasized online but I've never seen it come up in dating IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 06:12 PM
–

Tell those girls that they shouldn't be going to bed with makeup on their face, bad for their skin. Coconut oil is a great affordable remover 👍
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 06:09 PM
–

Well, explain why the amount of men hitting on me increases drastically when I wear makeup then? I am often complimented on my great skin and dark eyelashes/brows, so I'm not hideous without makeup or anything. But no, guys might say they like casual styles and no makeup, but their actions betray them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 06:07 PM
–

As someone who never wears makeup outside of Halloween and Lady Gaga concerts, I can assure you a vast majority of men prefer makeup. One of the reasons I don't wear it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 06:04 PM
–

Sure. Are most trans people trying to pass though? I'm not.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 03:51 PM
2

My experience in the South and Southwest too!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 03:28 PM
–

I have only ever attended or seen bachelorette parties at drag shows. But also, I spend a lot of time at drag shows so my sampling is biased. But also, I wish I could find the pic my baby shower that includes the most 80s/90s male stripper ever, complete with a glorious mullet. How crazy are your girl's friends? That's probably the determining factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 03:22 PM
7

Certainly a lot of guys here say they want the kind of healthy relationship everyone wants but express more that they want clout, gratification, and one-way emotional support. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has been picking up on this. But more generally, I will say that a happy and healthy relationship is largely defined by the people inside of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 03:19 PM
1

Exactly, just like it's unfair and not equal opportunity to the disabled trans person looking for a partner. Or an autistic person trying to connect in the world. Or even a beautiful wealthy person who will never know if they are genuinely desired or just a status symbol for their partner. Life is rough on everyone in different ways. Everyone deserves compassion, not just the one bloke with the worst luck on the planet.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 03:04 PM
1

Couldn't agree more with this. I usually compare my feelings on sex to rock climbing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 02:59 PM
1

I'm just confused because every sports league I've been a member of has the team going out to the bars together every weekend. Soccer, rugby, vollyball, kickball, we always drank together on weekends. I'm surprised to hear this isn't true of you're local sports leagues... Edit: for anyone reading thinking "but I'm not athletic!" Me neither! There are competitive leagues/teams and social leagues/teams. Focus on the non-competitive leagues. Might even end up having fun!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 02:46 PM
12

Criticism is not the same as judgement. My partner may criticize my choices in a constructive way, but if they are judging anything in my past, especially the mistakes I made when younger and untreated, they aren't the right partner for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 11:34 AM
–

I've been personally told I could never comprehend the experience because I was born with a vagina, therefore empathy is impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 09:08 PM
1

Favored may be the wrong word, but parented for autonomy at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 08:02 PM
5

99% of women get $2-3k monthly?! How is it that I've never met a single one of them?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 03:08 PM
0

So women's opinions of male incels should be considered, yes?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 02:58 PM
5

Yes, yet men are allowed to be jerks more than women. It's assertive and confident in a man and bitchy in a woman. Women are still discriminated against in leadership roles and the kindness you mention is based on a premise of women being incompetent.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 02:57 PM
7

Hah, how many trans women do you know? Like 95% of my trans girl friends pass. Y'all think you can clock them because you don't notice 9/10 trans people you encounter.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 02:55 PM
0

In the 90s and 00s this was true, and there are still vestiges of that mind set, but research shows we are evening out how with how we treat Gen Alpha. Males were favored children for most of history then females were favored for a bit but Gen Alpha is being raised with more equity than any group before. I think many of these gender divides will continue to disappear in future generations.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 02:52 PM
1

Norms means standards and abolishing them is the opposite of dictating behavior. Bullying and harassment are wrong. But if by "excluding" you, you mean not dating you, that's not exclusion or ostracization. Those are two different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:24 PM
2

Yep, that's silly, agreed. But that's about the shaming, not their preferences. But also, isn't everyone entitled to only date whoever accepts their preferred relationship dynamic? My cousin's husband didn't want a baby and said he wouldn't help with child care. She agreed and does all the childcare. I would never accept a relationship like that, but I don't judge them for having different preferences. As long as all parties are open and honest and everyone consents, what is the issue exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:22 PM
-1

Why not? Progressives position isn't "everyone should do the opposite of the norm." It's "people should be free to conform or not conform, and not conforming to norms should be respected just as much as conforming, provided they are not causing harm." How does being attracted to tall men proclude that world view?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 02:56 PM
1

a man from 1000BC and a man from 1910 probably behaved very similarly in terms of marriage and dating I stopped reading here. This is a crazy take. Where? Rural Mongolia? Central England? Alaska? Namibia? Ecuador? Do you not realize different marriage and courtship rituals, and yes, even gender standards, exist in all of these places and also has changed over thousands of years? More importantly, there is diversity across space and time, which is evidence against biological essentialism.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 02:48 PM
1

If they are actively harming people, shouldn't we change them? If they are not compatible with our personal values, should we not challenge our instincts? Isn't that what separates humans from the rest of the animal kingdom?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 02:45 PM
2

I ask men out, pay for myself, and have no height criteria. Am I allowed to call myself progressive yet?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 02:42 PM
2

Most people work remote. What? 70% still work fully or partially in-person? https://www.bls.gov/news.release/atus.htm
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 02:21 PM
1

"Better ROI" is a horrific way to look at dating. And I disagree. Investment IRL is high, but returns are much higher quality when you do it right (read: genuinely).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 02:19 PM
6

Have you considered that toxic men are more likely to manipulate, coerce, or even force a woman into sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 01:49 PM
18

It's not their fault, but it is their responsibility to address if they seek true partnership. I was severely depressed and lonely for more than two decades. Countless therapists and treatments, but I didn't give up. I finally found the right combination and my mind is so much more peaceful now. I'm finally ready to be a good partner. Do the work.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 01:44 PM
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So you don't have to be hot, just have rizz? That's not what you said.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 01:40 PM
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Interesting and not my experience. What kind of women were you approaching and were doing the chasing?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 01:37 PM
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I generally argue being incels made them misogynists. They often express it with misplaced childish anger though, which is why it is unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 01:31 PM
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Where is the argument that criminality repels women? I haven't seen that here. Visible misogyny repels women. Do you disagree?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 01:28 PM
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You make me really happy I transitioned so I no longer count as a woman. Being a woman in a world of men like you is a terrifying reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 01:27 PM
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Either looks don't matter or they are all that matters. Can't have any nuance, obviously.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 01:24 PM
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Are there actually? Could you cite some cases? Because plenty of ugly killers get fans for the same reason handsome killers do. Charisma plays an important role too, or are you saying 5'2" Charles Manson is the peak of masculine attractiveness? Katherine Ramsland, a professor of forensic psychology at DeSales University, mentions that some of the women who have married or dated male serial killers have offered the following reasons: "Some believe they can change a man as cruel and powerful as a …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 01:22 PM
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"your welfare state"??? It belongs to and benefits you as well friend. That's what living in society has been for, oh, 8-10,000 years or so.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 01:02 PM
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As are men. Both have agency. There is no demographic reason an individual man cannot succeed.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 11:54 PM
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If it's a 1% experience, why do so many of us know one personally?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 11:51 PM
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I would say that's probably good advice because fighting for more economic opportunity in this economy is easier with a healthy mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 06:39 PM
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Anger isn't the issue, it's letting it consume you that it becomes an issue. I use anger to fuel my passions and volunteer work. Many people, including ancaps, take it too far and start shooting CEOs in the street.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 06:30 PM
2

Next time you see a cute goth girl, ask her favorite Cure album. Yours is Disintegration ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 06:23 PM
3

Some people start a feud specifically to get on the show. I knew a drag queen who sued another over a stolen wig just to get on court TV.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 06:22 PM
3

Then post your sources already.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 02:45 PM
4

Again, if this is so common with this groups, surely you can cite some examples?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 02:43 PM
5

Since this is so common, surely you could share a few examples?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 02:37 PM
2

But women are socialized to care about it, do we ever wonder if they are socialized to care too much? Less than 50% of men wash their hands with soap regularly compared to 78% of women. Both of those numbers are too low.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 10:01 PM
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Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 02:26 PM
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I've met people who now say "unalive" in real life. My middle school students informed me that we couldn't listen to Chop Suey! at school because it has a bad word: Suicide. I'm like, since when is that a curse word?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 02:14 PM
3

Luckily I've met plenty of men who view sex differently. Bi guys ftw!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 07:40 PM
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Every scientific branch has it's little darlings and ugly ducklings of research, topics everyone seems to be studying and others being ignored. This is in no way limited to gender or even social sciences. I do think this is a problem, but it largely is a funding issue. You have to find funding if you want to do the studies and the funding isn't there. That's something you could personally advocate for. But I thought the topic of this thread was specifically about gender research, so I'm asking y…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 04:32 PM
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What do you think these studies will accomplish? Who will carry out the research?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:58 PM
8

The guy in 50 Shades is 110% an abuser and not a good depiction of BDSM. I know more women outraged by 50 Shades than obsessed with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:04 PM
3

Literally, Princess Jasmine said this in Aladdin. Women are not prizes to be won.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 10:59 PM
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I don't see this as often as y'all claim it happens. I ask all the time "Why would anyone be attracted to an ungroomed severely depressed person? Not for any good reasons usually." So if you actually want to be loved, you might have to put in some work. I'm neurodivergent, non-binary trans, and on the ace spectrum. I've been severely depressed and lonely before, and then only way out was through my own actions. I simply share my experience. It's up to them to make the change they want to see in …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 04:45 PM
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They are not saying "I'm lonely" they are saying "I'm going to kill myself and everyone else." That is coercive control.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 04:40 PM
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We aren't that rare. I just believe in taxation as a way to fund a functional society. I gladly pay my fair share without looking for loopholes.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 04:37 PM
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Actually, it was my (they/them) fault. You know that "Kamala is for they/them, Trump is for you!" ad? That was the single most effective ad of the entire campaign according to research. It was trans panic.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 04:31 PM
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No, she addressed that both men and women can be abusers, but you have yet to show any femcel as dangerous to society as Elliot Rodgers because there is no equivalent. You lost the argument bro, move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 04:24 PM
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It's only deceptive if it's not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 02:24 PM
6

I went with the arm implant. Works great for me and initial insertion was a breeze. Replacement though... That was no fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 11:04 PM
1

Well, if 90% of straight men are able to date, how much of a problem can the women really be?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 04:18 PM
3

Luckily healthy oils are also covered by food assistance and here at least your dollars go twice as far at the farmer's market (things are basically half price if you pay with food stamps). Focus on what is in season and having fresh produce can absolutely be affordable. Nutrition education has a huge ROI and can improve food security among our most vulnerable populations. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2212267220312016
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 03:25 PM
3

So making a better single life actually helped you find love? Imagine that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 02:53 PM
2

This is literally part of my job. You think we should give up on people's health just because they are poor? Beans and rice not only offer complete protein, but happen to be cheap as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 02:51 PM
2

I knew a 5'4" player. Slept with tons of women, even caught me and later admitted he was leading me on intentionally to get me in bed. What does height have to do with anything? Being a player is about behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 07:08 PM
3

Are you not talking about the post where the woman clearly communicated that she was not interested in a relationship? I blame both people who do not enforce their boundaries and people who push others boundaries equally. We are all responsible for ourselves first and foremost.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 07:03 PM
3

How is "I'm not romantically interested in you but would like to be friends" deception though? It's quite literally the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 06:43 PM
5

Feelings can't change? I had a big crush on a guy until he told me he just wanted to be friends. That ended all the romantic feelings I had towards him. Attraction not being mutual is a turn off for me. Don't understand how anyone can stay attracted to someone when they know for a fact it's not mutual...
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 06:41 PM
18

I have never heard a man being called a rapist who wasn't arguing in some way against clear enthusiastic consent. I have heard men being called incels for having negative views of women and that's not very nice. I am both terminally online and touch grass often. This shit only happens in niche online spaces like this. IRL, men and women seem to get along just fine and I don't hear these insults hurled IRL at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 06:07 PM
13

When men avoid women because of their past experiences they are called abusive rapists? Must say, I've never seen this.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:55 PM
2

Neither, it's just a tool.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:54 PM
20

Yeah, what would I, a female nearing 40 who lives with a straight woman and spends most of their time around straight and queer women, know about women? Surely you, a random young man on the internet, know more about women than a lifelong female athlete, right? /s
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:41 PM
3

I'm also describing what it has done. It's helped me and plenty of people like me build confidence. It just can't do the growing for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:39 PM
3

I take issue with the idea that technology necessarily makes people less confident. Technology does whatever you ask of it. If you ask technology to entertain your brain, that's all it's going to do. But if you instead ask it to train your brain, it can do that effectively, but you must take the initiative. I've used technology to gain confidence. From practicing for karaoke on video at home, to listening to self-help audiobooks and using CBT-based apps. Technology is only as useful as the user …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:35 PM
22

Just here to remind people that when I was born in the 1990s, my dad could still legally rape my mom. This isn't some distant long past generations thing. My mom couldn't even have her own bank account when she started college...
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:23 PM
33

Almost every women I know has had their opinion of men shaped by the men they've encountered in their own lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:21 PM
14

I'm willing to bet I frequent a lot more female spaces than you, some straight, some lesbian, and the "man hate" is there but overblown. The straight women love men but are frustrated by them. The lesbians generally don't care about men as long as they aren't being bothered by them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:18 PM
2

I do not, but that doesn't prevent guys around here from claiming their experiences are average. Every day someone here claims that average men are dying lonely and that's just not true for most average men.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 06:54 PM
4

I was literally told "I'll dump you if you don't do this because it's what girlfriends do" by my first boyfriend. Had to learn the hard way...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 04:29 PM
4

Yes, this is obviously in a sexual context.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 04:28 PM
12

If he even whispers something about being adventurous or trying something once, the words, you get up, gather your things, and tell him respect for your sexual boundaries is not a three strikes system. Such good advice. Any resistance to the word no at any time is a huge red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:18 AM
1

Sex is what woman have on easy mode, not dating. It's easy to get guys into bed, but it's hard to get guys to commit.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 03:20 PM
14

So they should be in a miserable relationship? Hardly seems like the answer. Or women should start doing things they don't want to to appease lonely men? Seriously, what are you proposing?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 12:17 AM
3

Actually, I would actually recommend this to my son, based on personal experience. You can't truly love someone else without love for yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 12:11 AM
1

99% of men do not die as virgins
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 12:05 AM
2

I want nothing more in life than a family, but no, I don't date anyone just to date. I've been single for most of the past decade, precisely because no relationship is better than a bad one.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:14 PM
0

And men don't wear signs that say "I'm not lying about wanting to date and only want sex." Dating is challenging precisely because you have to filter and screen throughout the process. Too men many think getting her to say yes to a date is the goal, but that's just the beginning. The goal should be "determining our relationship compatibility."
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:12 PM
4

Yes, yes it is. I did it. I went from being a bitter angry person to a patient and compassionate one. So why don't more people do it? Because it's really hard work. My advice: Figure out what you want to change. Neuroticism was high on my list, along with general irritability and resentment. Think of things like this that you struggle with. Try not to judge or shame yourself, just recognize that it is something you would like to improve. Look into the research on these traits and behavior modifi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 06:34 AM
2

And that list of people is unique to every individual. Some people I show to the bed/room my sister would show to the door/exit and vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 06:29 AM
1

Then how do you explain the fact that 99% of men manage "getting through the door" at some point?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 06:28 AM
6

So sure, some women are attracted to power and what it can get them. I don't know if it's really an aphrodisiac perse, though I understand why a potato like Kissinger would want to believe that. We also can't forget that it's also easy to get people to do what you want when you have the power to ruin their lives on a whim.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 10:10 PM
3

I also hope so. There are so many uncompassionate people in the world. It sucks how it colors many of our worldviews and makes it harder for us compassionate folks to connect.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 05:29 AM
2

Findings indicated that 87% of women experienced non-coercive CUR [condom use resistance] from a partner, while 49% experienced coercive CUR. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6578870/
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 02:35 AM
3

Emily Nagoski wrote a great book about it called Come As You Are, which covers important topics like communication. It's very well regarded in female spaces, so women do seem receptive to this feedback when approached compassionately.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 02:03 AM
1

I like hearing about minority experiences personally. Helps me learn how interesting and diverse humans are.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 03:20 PM
3

I could also say: "And apparently men seem incapable of listening, researching, understanding, or learning about their partners and are too afraid of missing their nut they could care less about their partners" Why not both?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 03:14 PM
1

I've had 9 orgasms in one session, wasn't even that difficult. I often have 2-3 in a row. Why assume he's lying?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 03:10 PM
1

I feel similarly and I identify as asexual, so...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 03:08 PM
2

This is true. Most people lack the true self love to help them manifest what they want in life, but some do take it too far. I highly recommend the book Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff. A good framework for how to be kind to yourself without becoming a narcissist.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 02:38 PM
2

Where did I say this only goes one way? And why not both options? Some preferences are shallow and need to be re-examined while others are legitimate compatibility issues. But don't pretend like this is a one way thing. Women get dragged for their taste in men all the time, just as much as I see women do the same to men. People are allowed to have opinions on your preferences. I see this happen in a perfectly reasonable and measured way, but I also see it happen in incredibly misogynistic and mi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 08:50 AM
3

Women reward those positive attributes in men they already find attractive, and no amount of positive attributes is going to make a man attractive if she doesn't find him attractive already. That's just not true. Many women report falling for guys they were not initially attracted to. But also, do men pursue people they aren't attracted to? Women only dating men they find attractive is not some gotcha. People in general don't want to date people they aren't attracted to. And if only 20% of men a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 04:24 AM
2

I completely agree. However, not everyone is ready to change. Some people never are. I've accepted that you can't force someone else to change. You can only control yourself and your choices. By all means, try to help them. Some people just aren't willing to accept help, often due to their own trauma.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 02:13 AM
6

I disagree. What makes one a good partner has nothing to do with experience. You will hear many women say the same thing about sex. Guys with no experience can be great if they are enthusiastic, guys with a ton of experience can suck if they are selfish. There isn't really a correlation. Same with dating. Some people have a long string of shitty relationships, some people marry their first boyfriend and live happily ever after. More dates doesn't necessarily mean better vetting. Being a good par…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 02:07 AM
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Depends on what you want to change. I highly recommend the book Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff to start. Personally, I'm on the spectrum (many spectrums, but I digress) and have actually stopped forcing myself to be as social. The key is learning to recognize your own emotions and develop healthy strategies to cope with them. There are many ways to do this, but alexithymia is more common in autistic folks, so it's probably worth working on.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 01:42 AM
8

Well, I'm a mid-thirties overweight non-binary trans asexual. I regularly get likes from 22 year old frat boys, conservative Christians, and people looking for straight hookups. I can't imagine they even stopped to look at my pic, because I am extremely not their type.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 08:35 PM
7

As long as guys swipe indiscriminately and overwhelm women willth low quality "attention," most rational women will continue to avoid them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 08:07 PM
3

I'm asexual. OLD is an absolute nightmare.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 08:02 PM
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I have taken great pains to avoid reproducing with them and my window to do so is rapidly closing, so I think I'm safe.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:00 PM
2

Because they were saying having anyone at all willing to fuck you is flattering and counts as "options", regardless of whether they are attractive to or compatible with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 09:58 PM
2

Disagree. Used to fake it a lot, now I'm always just me and I'm having way more fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 06:12 PM
6

As a person with AuDHD, this totally works. I used to mask a lot but learned to drop it in my 30s. Best romantic connections I've ever had.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:56 PM
3

I've started being 100% authentic. It repels fake people. Give it a try.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:54 PM
1

And women who want marriage? You said especially short term, so you understand their "options" are limited in that regard. Do you really believe there are as many men out their seeking long-term monogamy as women?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:03 PM
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I could say the same to men who vote against abortion access.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 04:51 PM
2

Men absolutely have options. Femcels exist. Single moms and fatties exist and have lower standards, but y'all don't consider them options.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 04:49 PM
1

You are still conflating sexual and romantic interest. One does not automatically imply another. Lots of women have plenty of sexual options with ZERO romantic options.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 04:12 PM
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In what ways exactly? I know plenty of 5'4"-5'7" guys and not a single one has struggled with finding women to date. I've also known 5'10"-6'2" guys who struggle. I'm not saying there aren't women out there who care about height, but their impact is vastly overstated. Otherwise we'd never seen partnered straight guys under 5'10".
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:51 PM
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Def mom's fault for being mentally ill and used. Dad bears no responsibility for his actions, potential manipulation, or any of his part in making little Timmy's life harder, obviously. All mom's fault, completely.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:26 PM
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The question is clear. Why is it bad for these maladjusted women to say "all men are the same" but it's okay when maladjusted men say "all women are like that?" Shouldn't we condemn both equally?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:24 PM
2

How are they options if they have no intention of commitment though? I have options for fucking, not dating, those are two different things that often, but don't always, go together.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:19 PM
0

To be an opportunity, a person has to actually be looking for a future together. It is a common complaint that men like to lie about seeking a long term relationship just long enough to pump and dump. That's largely been my experience with cishet men.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:49 PM
3

This idea that sex = romance is wild. Being able to easily get your orafices penetrated is not the same thing as being able to get commitment. I guarantee you any guy who wants sex rn can go on Grindr and find it. Try to get a Grindr guy to go 4 dates without fucking though...
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 07:18 AM
5

I'm saying that the concept of women making bad choices is one of the oldest things Why are you focusing on only the woman and ignoring that Adam also made the same choice? So isn't the moral that people make "bad" choices? Why is this seen only a failing of women and not men or mankind more generally?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 06:18 AM
1

So I reject everyone who says they are interested in a relationship, since they could just be lying. Who should I date then?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 05:10 PM
0

I agree with that, for aromantics at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 05:00 PM
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Based on... Vibes?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 04:59 PM
1

Women also just don't seem to care as much about a relationship as men do. This has not been my experience. Men are more likely to lie about their dating intentions just to get me into bed. Never had that happen with a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 02:07 PM
5

So compatibility doesn't matter at all? Religion, values, kids, libido, attachment style, personality type, emotional regulation, and many other things matter too. But I guess that's just unreasonable...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 02:05 PM
6

Interesting take. Care to expand on that thought?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 02:00 PM
2

cheating is tolerated more, by more women, than men were led to believe Could you source this claim? What % of women have stayed after beinh cheated on by a man? And what % of men left after being cheated on by a woman? Do you know for a fact the first happens more, or are you just guessing? Also, what % of women do men think leave after being cheated on? Where are you getting this info?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 11:55 PM
2

I know for me, I felt socially anxious, kinda ugly then eventually too old. I’m not happy about it but I’m likely to never attempt dating again. I highly recommend the book Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 11:41 PM
4

So if I've never in 20+ years of dating had a man pursue me with serious intentions, I should give up?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 11:17 PM
0

I can't say that I relate, but I'm ND, asexual, disabled, and queer so my odds of meeting someone compatible are just lower than average. I meet someone maybe every 5 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 04:59 PM
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Part of being attractive is how you dress and carry yourself. Are you saying women don't notice these things? I'd say it's as important as looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 04:41 PM
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Woo, I got the chance to be sexually assaulted through manipulation and deceit, lucky me!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 03:42 PM
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So you are an individal with your own preferences but women are one-dimensional caricatures who only care about one thing? Lots of men say "no fatties" too. And you know that there is a body size you would find repulsive regardless of what she is wearing. The distribution of her fat matters. You said her face and style matter. But no women cares about style, right? For the record, biggest man slut (with women) I've ever known was 5'4". He dressed very sharp. So women are already engaging with sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 03:33 PM
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I have the same issue. I'm autistic so it is a skill issue. I misguidedly tried your advice - put out early so they want to stick around - and it worked a while with my first bf when i was a young teen, but just ended up getting my heart broken. After that, it was always pump and dump. Even the ones who said they really liked me and wanted to date me, later ended up telling me they were just saying that to get me into bed. So you know what I did? Spent 10 years celibate? And you know what? I mak…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 03:23 PM
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Do you opt to find women attractive? Like, you look at a woman and say "I choose to find her attractive." Like, you consciously choose who you are attracted to? I've never heard of anyone doing this...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 03:16 PM
3

Some feminists whine sure. When Trump's illegal actions gets slapped down by court, people whine. The prices of housing go up, people whine. The price of housing go down, people whine. You really can't win over everyone on anything. Some people are always gonna whine.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 04:17 PM
7

As far as I know, all of those things are still guaranteed by law, no? Men are entitled to cross-examine their accusers, evidence must be presented for prosecution. You are upset people can spin these things in the court of public opinion? Welcome to the real world, friend. I support free speech, so I'd recommend investing in an educated populace. Not much we can do about loud mouths, but you are protected under the law.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 03:21 AM
–

No pattern at all. I asked a boy out in 8th grade. Then I asked a girl out in high school. Then I hooked up with a friend. Then I made out with a guy at a party and went on a date. Then I hooked up with another friend. Then I met a guy on Reddit through mutual interests and we dated for a while. After that, I asked out a friend of a friend. I have dabbled with OLD and gone on a few dates from dating apps, but no relationships. Currently, I'm seeing a guy I met through an r4r post...
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 06:36 PM
1

All your sources say men do this too, so why focus on women only?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 06:10 PM
–

Breast cancer affects men too. It would be more apt to compare cervical cancer research with prostate cancer research. Prostate cancer research is much better funded, for the record. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6519051/
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 03:45 PM
1

Yep, I've seen this happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 03:45 PM
2

This source does not address illness though. It is well documented that women's pain and symptoms are minimized compared to men's.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 03:42 PM
-1

He dressed quite sharp and was incredibly charming. Try a 3 piece suit with a cute bowtie!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 02:49 PM
–

Oh trust, my friend is a drag queen and his work gossip is very different than mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 02:33 AM
–

I work in public health, a female dominanted field, and this does not happen at my work. We are all friendly professionals for the most part, when we aren't stressed and pissed at the higher ups that is.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 10:22 PM
1

Focus on yourself. Have compassion for yourself and others. Do that work first before anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 10:12 PM
-5

Biggest man slut I've ever known was 5'4" and played the tuba. He's happily married now.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 10:07 PM
1

And how would you suggest someone develop these discernment skills? Usually young inexperienced people are the ones looking for rules. Also makes them easy victims.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 10:02 PM
1

So there are no hard and fast rules then.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 10:01 PM
2

Flaws and red flags are two different things. Red flags are always automatic nos. Flaws might be yellow flags, as in concerns to pay attention to, but you seem to misunderstand the very definition of a red flag. It means STOP. Run.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:59 PM
2

Bad guys always ignore the rules and hack the system. Should we tear up the laws because some people have found ways around them?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:58 PM
3

You are not like other guys. Wtf does that mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:56 PM
6

"Who do you admire?" is a great question to learn about someones values and ideals. Making it gendered is weird tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:51 PM
2

Margaery was my fav too 🤷 Her and the Night King...
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:49 PM
2

Saying a man must ask is traditional, saying they must pay is transactional, but needing a bit of personality to feel a spark is just how most female attraction works.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 05:53 PM
2

Because they aren't actually as nice as they think they are. If you have to act nice on a date you are not a nice person to begin with. I don't act, I'm just me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 05:51 PM
6

I am also ND and I got stuck on that trap a lot. Thinking it would turn into a relationship, them even lying and saying they want a relationship, just to get me into bed. The only thing I can really recommend is going on more dates and waiting to get intimate. Trust yourself! If it feels sketchy, don't do it! And if they lie to you, forgive yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 03:51 PM
1

Not coed team, but trans inclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 09:01 PM
5

Well, why do you think the women inclined to give out charity fucks aren't already doing so?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 08:41 PM
2

Literally "I hate men," "I don't want to have to see a man." Some people do hold these views.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 08:40 PM
7

Staying at team accomodations. Travel is already expensive and they make it possible for some of the players to get to games, but half my team wanted to ban male partners from team housing (bathrooms and common areas, not even just rooms).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 08:06 PM
22

On the national level, nominee Biden famously vowed to exclude men from consideration for VP. On a local level, my rugby team had a serious debate over whether male WAGs (BAHs?) had the same rights as female WAGs when traveling. Or like literally any female-only social groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 08:03 PM
14

This line of reasoning in a 1:1 relationship is coercive control. "I'll kill myself if I don't get as much sex as I want" is not an uncommon manipulation tactic. But at the end of the day, you are in charge of you, no one else (unless you are a minor). Other people should never be responsible for your happiness, that's on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 07:59 PM
40

Society thinks I'm a woman, so I'll answer. I think young men have absolutely been demonized and left behind by mnay progressives and many left parties in general. I think these men are right to feel anger towards the left because of how men have been characterized by these groups. However, I don't think that means they should stoop to the same level or attack back. I think of how someone like Rain Dove deals with haters, patiently listening and educating, as opposed to name calling them back. W…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 07:34 PM
1

Read my updated comment. Some allos might not want sex in their relationships, some aces might want it. Your advice not to date asexuals is a broad generalization that really isn't applicable.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 01:16 AM
1

Agreed
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 01:15 AM
0

Defective or more evolved to not be distracted by the distribution of fat desposits and muscles on a person's skeleton when selecting a mate? And yes, you are using outliers to define the standard. You say that allosexual people are one way and asexuals are another. That's not true. Allos with low libido or anorgasmia exist. Sex repulsed allos exist. Sex favorable aces exist. One does not have to be asexual to not want sex in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 01:11 AM
1

Ah, so you don't know what asexual means, I see. Asexuality has nothing to do with behavior, it's all about attraction. We just feel little to no sexual attraction, that's all. I am asexual and I still have sex, many of us do. Asexuals who enjoy sex are called sex-favorable, those who don't enjoy sex are called sex-averse or sex-repulsed depending on their personal feelings, and those without a strong opinion are sex-indifferent, but we are all asexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 11:52 PM
2

Volunteering at the animal shelter will 100% help lower inhibitions
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:56 PM
0

N count tells you nothing about character.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 05:08 PM
1

Personality is complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 02:49 PM
–

Oh my gosh, all of them? That's why I opted out. I have no sense of gender and absolutely hate being treated like I do. For example, I like holding the door open when someone is entering behind me, at the gas station for example. Every once and a while I run into a man who can't fathom a "woman" holding opening and door for him and will literally refuse to go through, insisting on "ladies first." It's so weird and ruins the flow. Also, having a stranger pay for anything for me feels very weird. …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 02:38 PM
2

I've been mentally scarred by some of the men I dated and by some men I haven't dated. I have been lucky enough not to be mentally scarred by any of the women I've dated, but I've still been mentally scarred by women I didn't date.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 02:33 PM
1

Sorry, dating is just more complicated than most of the popular but simple narratives say.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 02:23 PM
0

Except getting laid is not the same thing as dating. Women have an easier time having sex when they want to, but that's not the same as being able to secure a relationship you want to be in. That's just as challenging for men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 12:15 AM
4

Sounds like you have a type.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 12:14 AM
-1

So, just like the rest of life, some people have it easier than others for reasons beyond anyone's control. Wealthy, charismatic, and well connected people have an easier time getting jobs than the average person, and a disabled shy awkward person is going to have a harder time. Does this mean society is broken? Why is it only an issue when it applies to dating?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 08:44 PM
0

My 5'4" tuba-player friend used to clean up with the ladies before he settled down. Charisma is powerful.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 07:47 PM
-2

99% of men over 30 have had sex. Non-top men get fucked too.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 07:44 PM
2

How does this not also apply to non-science-backed women's empowerment fluff tho?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 04:45 PM
5

Well, women are currently equal to men and you want to "bring them down a notch," no?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 04:44 PM
2

Okay, now break it down by the age group you are interested in dating...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 04:40 PM
1

I never hear women use slut and whore as insults, it's usually bitch.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 04:35 PM
3

And what's up with kids these days. Younger Gen Z and Gen Alpha seem to have very puritanical standards. I've had several arguments with them about whether a woman's naked breast is an appropriate sight for a child...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 04:34 PM
9

So you had one negative experience with exactly one shitty person and it changed your values? Must not have been very strongly held values...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 04:29 PM
-2

I mean, does the vast majority of society not just leave these men alone already?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 03:21 PM
4

So every man reproduces exactly the moment he becomes sexually mature and never at any time after that point?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 10:34 PM
15

Hell, I invited everyone to my parties in high school, including the shy boys and girls sitting in the back. They usually didn't show up.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 10:27 PM
3

Women's healthcare is under researched because men who occupy most doctor positions are deathly afraid of rape and SA accusation. No, actually it's not. The reason women were excluded from medical research is because they were too "complicated" biologically with their hormone cycles that researchers thought it would he too much work to study them. The doctors said so themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 06:22 PM
1

Depends what you are looking for and what kind of asexual. Allo/ace relationships usually don't work long term, but there are exceptions.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 05:37 PM
0

Does it even? My Gen Z colleagues call me a baddie and I am most definitely not hot. I am pretty good at my job and I like helping mentor newer employees. I'm pretty sure that's what they are referencing.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 02:58 PM
–

I used to have this problem and realized it was from being a people pleaser. I just always wanted everyone around me to be happy, but my wants and needs were constantly minimized. I've worked on myself a lot and am able to see patterns now that I was falling into. Thinking I could fix people, thinking that their issues were because of something I did wrong, etc. I still try to make everyone happy but not at my own expense. I've also led more with my cringey authentic self. IFS therapy and the 8 …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 08:03 PM
1

There's literally a market of scammers on dating apps that lure men into a club which overcharges and threatens to beat them up if they don't pay. There's also rapists and abusers on dating apps. Again, this cuts both ways. Everyone is at risk of assholes on both sides. The fact is that some of both men and women are assholes. We shouldn't judge the entire group on the actions of the minority criminal element, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 04:28 PM
1

We should all center ourselves first and foremost. That's the one person you are definitely stuck with til the end. Having a good relationship with yourself makes it possible to have healthy relationships with others.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 03:31 PM
2

The important part is getting to live the lifestyle you want before having to settle down. If you don't value integrity sure. But then don't come around here asking why women treat every man as a potential threat or user...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 10:56 PM
2

Nope, but I have read studies about partnership by gender identity.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 03:35 PM
1

Most people of both genders don't think big picture. But more of those who do are male. Source? And for them, it isn't primarily because they want to get laid more. Based on my experiences and conversations with irl men, press x to doubt. Not all men, but most cishet men I've encountered.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 03:12 PM
5

The problem is that many single mothers don't align with my lifestyle. Most had an unplanned child which usually suggests they like sex a lot more than I do, and probably are a fair bit more outgoing than I am. You are making a lot of assumptions here. The only thing you know about a woman with an unplanned child is that she had sex once in her life. Everything else is projection and stereotype.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 03:02 PM
2

I'm non-binary trans and asexual, I know what it is to have a small dating pool. But enbies and aces are in relationships all the time. If this was the reason you are single, you'd see more singleness in these groups, but they find relationships like everyone else. I find people interested in me despite not fitting in any of societies boxes. The most annoying part is fighting off the fetish chasers.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:52 PM
2

Please close the thread. OP refuses to engage with debate.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:47 PM
4

Okay, cool, so we can all go home because OP isn't interested in engaging with other opinions, or ya know, debating.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:44 PM
2

yet never really prevented any woman from finding relationships to a significant degree On what planet? Guys wasting my time pretending to want to date me just looking for sex was the main reason I couldn't get into a relationship with college. Guys had standards apparently and didn't want to settle with me. But that's not hypergamy, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:42 PM
0

Surely you have statistics to support that, since you are not a mindreader locked into the non-existent female hivemind, right? You are making a claim, burden of proof is on you. You've provided no evidence aside from your vibes.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:28 PM
2

"I am the prize" Oh, wait a minute, it's only bad and evidence when women do it!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:26 PM
1

Reading your headline, I had no idea if you were talking about men or women. Men also are looking for someone who meets their standards (age, BMI, body count, etc). Are they hypergamous too? "I am the prize" is how EVEYONE should approach dating, men and women. You are a prize and deserve to not settle or be settled for.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:20 PM
1

I highly recommend the book Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:08 PM
2

Seeing how I've now watched Heated Rivalry 4 times now against my will because my straight woman roommate had to show all her straight woman friends, I'm gonna say they like watching it too.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:02 PM
2

So when is swipe stats you take it at face value, but when it's these stats, suddenly datings apps aren't a reliable source of info?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:53 PM
1

When men complain about gold diggers and betabuxxers I don't feel offended because I know this happens but doesn't apply to me. Why are you threatened by women sharing their experiences if they don't apply to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:47 PM
-1

So it's irrational to be afraid of being betabuxxed or used for a meal, right? Because this doesn't happen on average dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:45 PM
2

This is why I'm still single in my 30s >.<
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:35 PM
3

Only if you exclusively approach people with dating in mind. You should be out trying to connect with the people you meet, men or women. This exposes you to more new people and teaches you social skills that will allow you to connect with the right person when you eventually meet them. In most cases, the attraction and pursuing is mutual at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:33 PM
-1

I don't really want anything out of my partner but their whole selves. Just being there when they can. I have my own house, I don't need sex but can accomodate many different needs, I have a strong social group I stay active with and I expect my partner to have their own life too. What value am I trying to extract here? Do you say the same about friendships?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:55 PM
1

I don't really want anything out of my partner but their whole selves. Just being there when they can. I have my own house, I don't need sex but can accomodate many different needs, I have a strong social group I stay active with and I expect my partner to have their own life too. What value am I trying to extract here? Do you say the same about friendships?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:55 PM
2

Just throwing this out there: I'm asexual and I enjoy sex, plenty of us do. For the most part, our equipment works just fine, we just don't experience that supposed magnetic sexual pull known as sexual attraction. I used to have a lot of terrible sex because I was young and stupid and didn't know any better. I didn't know what I was doing so I just let them lead. I took time to explore myself and figure out what I like, and now I can communicate it better. But, no, the straight guys I come acros…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:48 PM
3

No, being lied to shouldn't change what you think os right and wrong. You just grow and learn and learn to apply it better.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 09:33 PM
2

Could've fooled me
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 05:10 PM
1

Tell me you've never studied abusive relationships without telling me you've never studied abusive relationships. I was manipulated by a guy who was 5'4".
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 05:04 PM
2

Yes, this is exactly how I describe my coworkers. "Seems like a nice guys, is sociable, whatever" because I don't actually know their character, I always couch opinions of people I don't know super well as just my impressions of their personality, not character.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 04:57 PM
2

Welp, we can pack up all of psychology and psychiatry research cuz dude says he just knows all the answers that the fields of neurobiology still haven't uncovered... I find it so interesting how every black piller is simultaneously a helpless victim of society with no agency but also a supergenius mind reader who understands human psychology better than the experts and knows what every woman on earth is thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 04:49 PM
3

That's literally the definition of being a good person, it's not situatioal or conditional. If you don't stick to your principles when the going gets tough, you never had principles to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 04:28 PM
5

That's a whole lotta misandry right there
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 03:42 PM
9

The average man is still in a relationship. Why aren't 80% of men single if this is true?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 03:41 PM
4

Nope, but I don't think a society must be matriarchal to not be patriarchal. Any society which historically empowered women economically and socially is less patriarchal than most.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 04:26 PM
3

Nope, a few powerful men in Sumer, Mesopotamia started patriarchy about 12,000 years ago. The idea spread and was eventually tried elsewhere later, like other ideologies throughout human history. Let me guess, you assume every society everywhere has always been patriarchal? You might be interested to read about matrilineal societies in Asia, Africa, and the Americas.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 04:03 PM
2

Technological advancements allowing men to carry children?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:40 PM
5

Wealthy men absolutely established it during the agrarian revolution.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:34 PM
0

i think your greatly underestimating the amount of options even below average women have. And you know this how?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:28 PM
6

Let me guess, you have some criticisms of A Modest Proposal too?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 11:51 PM
4

Maybe times have changed a bit, but I know when I dared to cut my hair short at 12 years old is when people started hurling bottles out of passing cars while screaming "Dyke!" I was teased about being a lesbian (I'm not) and being butch (sometimes I am) for most of my youth.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:41 PM
–

Misandrist and misogynist at the same time. I'm impressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 12:12 AM
0

A rule is an accepted principle, instruction, or regulation that guides behavior, dictates allowed actions, or determines how something is conducted. It can refer to guidelines in games, social settings, or formal institutions Hm... You've got me thinking and by rule you mean social norm, huh? Well I'm in the business of dismantling harmful social norms. Like calling someone a virgin or a slut as an insult, for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 11:09 PM
–

What do you mean? I believe anyone who values humanity should do what they can to make their little corner of the world and society better. I also believe we have more responsibility and power to address issues within our own communities than outside of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:59 PM
0

Well, about half of people are AFAB and plenty of non-asexual AFABs report more satisfaction solo than partnered, so this is far from a universal fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:43 PM
-1

It makes it not a rule in fact
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:41 PM
2

Disagree. It often feels worse and very occasionally feels better.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 08:50 PM
2

Most humans, sure, but not all. It doesn't drive me at all, I'm asexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 08:49 PM
–

Why could she never find it appealing? Why would she keep doing it if she didn't enjoy it? This is some benevolent misogyny women are pure and innocent creatures BS.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:30 PM
–

What's wrong with any of that if it's consentual? I like group sex and I let people I'm dating know it because it's a compatibility issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:29 PM
–

110% right
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:26 PM
2

I would say this about any group of humans. We are all mutually accountable.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:02 PM
5

~21% is not close to a majority though...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 03:03 PM
6

This isn’t an isolated fringe; misandrist rhetoric, "kill all men" narratives, and calls for systemic male subjugation practically dominate online feminist spaces and shape the cultural conversation. I have literally never seen this content. It's hardly sweeping the nation. What are you engaging wish that puts this content in your algorithm? I've literally only ever heard "kill all men" on this sub. And I brush elbows with lots of men haters on the reg irl...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:50 PM
2

You are thinking of a different study, friend. This is a newer one.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:45 PM
7

Who is trying to criminalize a gender? What righys are women trying to strip away from men? I hang out with some man-hating lesbians and I haven't heard this stuff even from them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:38 PM
9

Why do people always forget the rest of the expression, "a few bad apples... Spoil the bunch."
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:36 PM
1

We're still friends 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:21 AM
2

Differently different times. One guy straight up said "yeah, I was intentionally leading you on so you'd suck my dick, sorry about that"
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:13 AM
–

You are the one saying half is negligible. All I'm saying is you can't use one group's behavior as evidence of the other. This is not a representative sample of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 02:05 AM
2

Several men have faked wanting a relationship with me. I know because they told me so.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:54 AM
1

That sounds like a misandrist take to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:53 AM
–

Half of young women, less than 30% of all women. Pretending Tinder stats apply to everyone is a bonkers world view.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:47 AM
–

No, I'm more talking about ace spec girlies who might have kinks but aren't necessarily turned on by bodies, but yeah, there's also beauty in the eye of the beholder. Looks aren't everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:46 AM
–

Well, I'm interested in helping you. Tell me what group you think doesn't exist. What are your interests?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:10 AM
–

There are women who don't care about physical attraction, therefore you can still date.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:08 AM
–

47% or roughly half of women 18-29 have never used a dating app. NAWALT. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/02/key-findings-about-online-dating-in-the-u-s/
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:05 AM
–

Find kind people who help others learn to swim. They are out there. I recommend starting with a good book about relationships or sex if that's what you desire. I've personally found Crucial Conversations to be helpful. Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski is another good one that, while written for women, transcends gender in many ways. Read discussions of these books on Reddit and elsewhere too. Eventually, you just gotta go out there though. Think of something you enjoy or want to try. Tabletop or…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:11 AM
–

Yesss! They are only kitten heels though, so probably not too far off from how she'd ride in flats. Honestly, riding in heels isn't hard at all since your weight rests on your toes more often anyway. Just sucks scuffing up a cute pair on the grip tape.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:05 AM
–

In my family, those are called "kilt legs" as in "I wanna see those calves in a kilt."
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:02 AM
–

A ton of options for casual sex, sure. It's slim pickings for meaningful relationships though.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:01 AM
–

Only because you choose to be. That tier is entirely a state of mind and it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:00 AM
–

I disagree. Bad treatment is correlated with poor self esteem, not attractiveness. People put up with the treatment they think they deserve. Those who know their worth don't tolerate bad treatment, they leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 11:54 PM
–

Eh, speak for yourself. I was single and sexless for over a decade. It wasn't hell. Gave me time to work on myself and treat my severe depression. I'm much happier now and have better relationships thanks to the time I took for myself. I didn't set out to take a decade off of sex, it just kinda happened and was actually good for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 11:35 PM
–

NAWALT. There's plenty of women who have never had a Tinder account. They are less likely to be on drugs, more likely to be chaste, and less likely to rank physical attraction high on their priority list. Dating apps are a shortcut to human interaction and people who use them are often looking to take shortcuts in life and invest less quality time into building relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 11:27 PM
–

That absolutely sucks, bro! What a rude woman wasting your time like that. But kudos to you for being prepared and putting yourself out there. I almost never find serious people on the apps or at bars/clubs. Try hobby groups or events that appeal to you, concerts, sports events, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 11:19 PM
–

Ah, welcome to the "time flies" party! That's what getting older is. I still remember the day Britney's Hit Me Baby One More Time premiered on TRL!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 10:54 PM
7

All the tomboys I know, including myself, have lots of guy friends. But apparently we hate men? News to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:55 PM
6

You give T too much credit. Higher testosterone is not always correlated with higher libido, and plenty of high libido low T women exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:41 PM
1

You've never heard of Mulan before?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:56 PM
2

underplaying their desire to be loved and seen in an intimate and loving capacity for their unique snowflake self. This really applies to most people and is exactly why women aren't flattered by cold approaches.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:51 PM
3

You are conflating population and individual health though. Describing a society as "unhealthy" is different than saying an individual is "unhealthy." They have different definitions depending on context.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:38 PM
8

but also loving, caring, forgiving parents and healthy friendships in childhood. That certainly helps, but you can overcome even bad home environments. Sure, it takes a lot of hard work and it's not fair that it sets you back, but healing is possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 03:40 PM
8

I have seen a lot of guys glow up though. A buddy of mine was scrawny and bullied up until 8th grade then hit a growth spurt and gained confidence in high school. There's just so many factors to consider. And as others have mentioned, there's also parental/sibling bullying to consider.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 03:38 PM
1

Cool, what if every other guy she's been with has told her that eye contact communicates enthusiasm to them? You need to communicate what you want and not assume everyone has the same definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 04:24 AM
–

It tells me that people don't understand the first thing about statistics or how things like data collection and analysis even works. Both sides cherry pick statistics and insist results are more applicable than they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 07:57 PM
–

So don't be blue pill then?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 06:11 PM
–

I don't believe in any pills. I am a trained scientist who reviews research regularly as part of my job. I analyze data as a scientist, not as a pilled person.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 06:10 PM
7

I'm willing to bet I've given more blowjobs than you. I agree that I close my eyes when I'm more into it but that doesn't change the fact that a lot of guys want you looking at them while you do it, which screams porn brain to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 06:09 PM
–

I've never seen this discussed by TRP. They always assume dating app users are perfectly representative samples of human behavior, they are not. https://www.mdpi.com/2411-5118/6/3/49
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 04:52 PM
–

You should look at all the science, not just that which confirms your worldview. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/after-service/202012/7-differences-between-dating-app-users-and-non-users
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 04:50 PM
–

Show me a study that isn't just OkCupid swipe stats and I might believe your claim. People on dating apps are not a representative sample for human behavior. On the other hand, a direct association was found between being a dating app user and the consumption of substances (tobacco, alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, mental health medication), concern about physical appearance, and the practice of physical exercise. https://www.mdpi.com/2411-5118/6/3/49 So more shallow people use dating apps, so the f…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 04:47 PM
–

Hypergamy is a lie. Studies show most women marry within their socioeconomic bracket.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 04:46 PM
3

Maybe my obsession with blowjobs makes the desire to nut inside a girls pussy not as intense idk. And not married? Husband material right here!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 03:52 PM
2

alot of men simply dont know anmy better yet, sometime they never know at all. or its too late. Couldn't the same be said about the women though? Maybe she was young and didn't know better that you shouldn't do sex acts just to please your partner, you should enjoy them too. That is a lesson most women learn the hard way.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 03:41 PM
3

Actually, more so. I prefer sucking average dicks over huge dicks, it's just more comfortable, and I especially love sucking a small dick because I get to spoil it. I'm my experience, girls who love giving oral don't care about the size and often prefer smaller for the task. Did you watch her give blowjobs to her last bf? Or are you just assuming they were better because of your insecurity? If you want a woman who loves giving blowjobs, tell women you are dating that receiving lustful blowjobs i…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 03:31 PM
3

I divulge all my kinks by date 3. It's not that hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 03:27 PM
6

That is assault.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 03:23 PM
7

Not at all. I've had conversations just like this early on in dating and always greatly appreciate them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 03:22 PM
5

I really like closing my eyes when I'm giving a blowjob. Not because I don't like seeing what I'm doing, but because I generally can focus better with my eyes closed. I can focus on the sensations and my desire more that way, and pay attention to his noises for feedback. But ever porn brained guy wants you staring into their soul while you blow them and that's just not how I show my enthusiasm. But I still love giving blowjobs whether or not I look like a porn star doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 03:19 PM
8

women are much more prone to peer pressure and propaganda. Got a source for this? Seeing how many men throw around Manosphere and TRP lingo, they seem pretty impressionable to me. Or does this not count as propaganda/peer pressure for some reason...
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 04:28 PM
2

My comment is very intentionally written to not just apply to men. Read it again. I say "people," not "men."
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 03:52 PM
1

Having non-binary as a different, in between level of transness is certainly a choice. I'd say if anything, non-binary trans is Level 1 and binary trans is Level 2. There is no way to "pass" as non-binary in modern society. 99% will still default to s/he.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 07:14 PM
7

I live in AZ. The FLDS and other similar Mormon cults are incredibly relevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 07:12 PM
1

And that's exactly why men targeting woman younger than them is silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 04:30 PM
2

Interesting you mention that, because I haven't seen that here. I've seen women encouraging men to have open and honest communication about their sexual desires in order to find compatible partners. "Choose better"
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 04:28 PM
2

Not who you are talking to but I am a weirdo kinky trans person. My kinky FWB is a regular looking balding guy who works at a community college and isn't even out as bi at work. Actually, I've participated in more kink with normies than my fellow wierdos. So yes, it's usually just a regular looking guy with no tattoos. We get there through open and honest conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 04:24 PM
1

Less than half of both men and women on apps are looking for long term relationships (42% and 48%). Apps are for hookups and flings for most users. Men on apps are almost three times as likely as women on apps to be seeking casual sex (31% vs 13%). https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/02/key-findings-about-online-dating-in-the-u-s/
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 05:20 PM
4

I mean, I didn't enjoy oral until I recently tried faceriding, so there's definitely ways to be an active participant.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:47 PM
3

Men deserve 100% credit for the fabric of modern society?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 02:32 PM
1

Yeah, and none of us truly know if we will have a partner tomorrow. That's life.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:39 AM
1

Did you choose how your brain was wired due to your childhood trauma? Have you taken the time to understand how it has? Why are you so consistently attracted to abused women? Didn't you mention your mother and stepmother were abused? Might be worth reflecting on. It's not your fault but it is your responsibility. Victims do not deserve blame, including you. Ignore the immature name callers. They aren't worth your energy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:32 AM
3

Few women irl hold these views. I've literally never seen or heard killallmen outside of this sub. Those are extremist statements and hardly representative of women. I could list millennia worth of examples of bad men, but that's not representative of all men either. And yeah, we all should hold our fellow humans accountable when they commit crimes. That's a pillar of society, friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:21 AM
8

Are they to blame for every strike after the first because they didn't run into the night immediately? Flight-fight-freze-faun are all natural human instincts. It's great that your mother and stepmother are both blessed with the wiring for flight and had the resources and knowledge to do so, not everyone is so lucky. A person's brain chemistry literally changes from abuse. This is the fault of the person abusing them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:16 AM
2

You ever heard of BTK, friend? Or like all the other cases where the neighbors and coworkers say "gosh, he seemed like such a nice normal guy, I'd never have imagined." Watch the news ffs.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:10 AM
1

"Most men" are not having fewer. There has been an increase in inactivity, but that is not affecting "most" men, nor does your source claim it applies to "most" men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:17 AM
0

That's fascinating. Thank you for providing the numbers. How is this happening without changes among women though? Are more men having sex with each other? while conversely most men are having fewer. This is not supported by your source.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 12:49 AM
-1

while men who sleep around have sex with larger and larger amounts of women I disagree. They get the same amount of women and more women pair up with other women. This is already happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 12:25 AM
3

re: 3. Most people marry within their respective socioeconomic group. So that doesn't seem at all unlikely.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 12:23 AM
1

Then don't worry.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 12:16 AM
2

And how is a 15 or 17 year old girl supposed to develop those skills? We make mistakes and learn from them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 09:39 PM
1

You aren't done learning yet. You'll get there.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 09:38 PM
1

Don't generalize women and you shouldn't have to worry.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 09:35 PM
2

I suspect your one-dimensional view of women is holding you back more than anything. That is 100% a skill issue. Are you sure you even like women, because you seem to think they are all vapid golddiggers.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 09:33 PM
3

I would assume mental health. The fact that you embrace the incel label makes me suspect you've unconsciously adopted this as part of your identity. It's a useful shorthand for a temporary predicament, but be careful identifying with it too much or it will become a self fulfilling prophecy. How is your self talk and self esteem? Are you kind to yourself? When you make a mistake, do you think "Wow, that was stupid. How could I be so dumb?" or do you think "That was a silly mistake to make, but I'…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 09:21 PM
3

That’s not how real life works. Real life isn't all random chance either. Some of our odds are outside of our control (genetics, where we were born, etc), but you can't really do anything about that so you gotta focus on what you can control. Is it possible to do everything right and still lose? Sure, Picard said as much, that's life. But then why don't we all throw up our hands and stop trying? There are things we'll never be able to control and nothing is guaranteed so it's not worth trying ri…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 09:05 PM
3

I don't spend too much time on the apps, but it's wild how little effort some people put into their profiles. Women always talk about how static pictures don't do much for them. What make a guy attractive is his voice and tone, his swagger and confidence, and his passions. Show her your personality with relevant photos and a voice clip if it's an option. Do you like to hike? Have a friend take a few photos of you hiking and you can convey that interest without wasting time in your bio. Like goin…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:58 PM
4

And yet plenty of low income men get married, so it's hardly deterministic.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:41 PM
5

It only promotes the just world fallacy if you ignore the nuance. Look at the comments here. No one is saying results are guaranteed or that luck doesn't play a role. We are all saying "social skills are the best way to improve your odds" and I stand by that (assuming your goal is a happy relationship).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:41 PM
3

Sometimes. Talented manipulators can be difficult to spot until you've spent enough time with them. They are predators and we should be careful not to blame victims of bad people, men or women. We all live and learn. Unless we dont... If you have pattern of dating bad people, that's probably a you issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:35 PM
1

Life doesn't want anything for you. Life tends towards entropy and we spend our lives trying to keep it in order. If god/gods exist, they gave you free will to improve your chances. It's up to you what you do with that free will. You are not so special and unique that you have the worst luck on the planet. It's a convenient way to cope and absolve yourself of any responsibility in life, but it's not going help you. Change what you can change, accept what you can't, and take charge of your own li…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:31 PM
3

If dating and getting hookups aren't social skills, what are they, magic forces that just manifest spontaneously? Appealing to people you want to appeal to absolutely involves skill. Like anything else that involves skill, there are other factors that impact success, but skill is the most important factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:25 PM
6

Hell, if you’re not careful, you might even look up one day and realize that even without sex and romance, you can be happy. This. I honestly don't care about your relationship history, it could be extensive or non-existent, but one of my biggest turn offs is any thought process like "I need someone else to make me feel happy/valid/meaningful." Gotta love yourself first.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:19 PM
3

So how do you explain all the average non-Chad guys happily in relationships then, if women are so collectively unreasonable? Also would you really be happy with someone who says "I don't need a decent man, any man will do?" That's exactly what it sounds like when y'all day "I'll take any woman." Why would any woman want you specifically if you don't want them specifically?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:15 PM
2

Who is saying "men need to serve women" here but you? If a man wants a woman, he has to appeal to at least one woman. If a woman wants a man, she must appeal to at least one man. If you fail to appeal to anyone or only appeal to people who don't appeal to you, you are sending out the wrong signals and that's a skill issue. Neither women nor men are a monolith. Some women are unreasonable and so are some men. I'd recommend not wasting your time on unreasonable people. Is it unreasonable that your…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:13 PM
0

All they are saying is "improving your odds will improve your odds." Everything else is words you put in their mouth, a bad faith interpretation of their argument. Who is out here arguing that you are guaranteed results? The closest you'll get is TRP, and they'll tell you just to grind harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:07 PM
2

Then change your luck and improve your odds. We are not guaranteed anything in this life but death. The rest is up to you to figure out. But I promise you that telling yourself over and over "I'm unlucky and doomed to be unlucky forever" is absolutely not helping you.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:06 PM
3

I have never known a truly charismatic man to have any trouble finding partners who fit his preferences. Do you think he is charismatic because you like the dude, or is he generally charismatic as in people are naturally drawn to him and comfortable around him?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:02 PM
0

You are oversimplifying basketball and undersimplifying dating. Basketball is a lot more complicated than do A to get B, more like do A, B, C, and D while hoping the other team does X, Y, and Z and your chances of winning increase ?% if that all happens, but there is still an aspect of luck in which way the ball bounces off the rim any given shot. We can say teams with so and so attributes are more likely to win, but no win is guaranteed and upsets happen. Honestly, basketball is a great allegor…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 07:59 PM
0

Yet if they continuously fail across classes, geographies, times, social circumstances, and environments, are we allowed to call it a skill issue then? If you do not have the skills to succeed in your current environment, are we not allowed to acknowledge that? Sure, there's a ton of factors, but I really do believe it is a social skills issue most of the time. I know this because I've struggled across time and environment, and it's a me issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 07:51 PM
3

Not relying on others for approval is not the same as ignoring them. I value my connections to others so much but at the end of the day I'm the only one that has to live with my actions. I'm the one person I'm definitely stuck with for life.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:41 PM
5

Validation: the act of proving, confirming, or officially approving something. Again, I personally feel it is immature to seek validation outside of yourself. It's the root of most unhappiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:14 PM
1

Where did I say humans aren't greedy with primitive instincts? That's exactly what we are before we grow and mature. But we also have highly developed neocortices which most other animals lack. This allows us to move beyond just primal instincts and reflect on and even change our behavior. You can't just look at a random animal study and apply it to humans. Men who use women are not simply "acting on instinct" but rather are very aware of their actions. You also have failed to address how women …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:57 PM
1

Cool, I'd love to see the research on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:40 PM
1

So no, just your gut then. Quite a bold claim. Humans are individuals. Sure there are some trends, but you can't speak for all men let alone all animals. Plenty of women talk about having different standards for hookups and relationships so I fail to see your point.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:35 PM
7

Is it? I don't think "validation" is on my list of what I'm looking for in a relationship. I do agree it's how many immature people approach relationships, but most people are immature so whatcha gonna do? My type argues with me more than validates me. I like being challenged by different perspectives. I don't need anyone else to validate me, I do that myself just fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:33 PM
9

Yes, it is a type. You see plenty of women here saying the exact same thing in "this is what I usually like but I do date outside it if someone else catches my eye/ear." You have a type, women who validate you. Congrats, you have the same type as most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 02:56 PM
10

The same way you pick an ice cream flavor. I like cherries but I don't like chocolate, so if the ice cream with cherries and chocolate is something I'll skip even though I like cherries. Ice cream is also complex, though obviously not as complex as people. Think of the different ingredients as different aspects of personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 02:45 PM
1

You got a study showing that? Why is men's behavior not accounted for in this study?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 02:40 PM
1

I talk for a while before I meet anyone in person, so usually a full meal or outing for me. And before y'all come at me, I pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 02:38 PM
–

Varies person to person. I'd say it's more like labor than housing (shelter is up there with food/water) or education (more in the interest of society than the individual). We all require constant maintenance, or labor. For the most part, we handle things like going to the bathroom on our own, but some of us need help with that too. Most are capable of taking care of their own sexual urges too. Very few people lack the ability to self pleasure. But no, you aren't owed anyone's labor except your …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:59 AM
1

Could you enumerate some of the "vast resources" currently spent on affirmative action? My understanding is that it's more about shifting selection criteria rather than transferring resources.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 08:34 PM
2

Why is that relevant when the topic is raising children?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 08:25 PM
1

Women still do almost twice as much domestic labor as men. Sure, it's more even now than in the past, but it's not yet equalized. Gender norms are a hell of a drug. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12026444/
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 07:54 PM
20

I go on like one first date a year if I'm single, so I don't think anything in the 0-10 range in the past year would weird me out. More than that and I'll start wondering why he's going on so many first dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 04:48 PM
–

Let me put it this way: If you are so very concerned about your sexless brethren, why don't you offer your holes to your bros? Maybe they'll even return the favor! What's that? You aren't attracted to them and don't want to have sex with them? Too bad, they have "needs."
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 04:40 PM
–

As for the rest, women don't want to selflessly volunteer their bodies for men to orgasm in. No more than a man wants to not achieve orgasm in sex. Like seriously, if these guys are so concerned about their sexless brethren, why aren't they offering their holes to their bros?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 04:38 PM
–

They often think it comes across as 'innocent' I don't think innocence being sexually attractive is a good thing for society
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 04:35 PM
–

Those men have access to sex workers. Women are literally providing themselves to appease these men already. Should they not be compensated for their service to society?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 04:31 PM
–

Actually, yes, dismissing people who you are not attracted to, having standards and boundaries, is an important virtue.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 04:29 PM
–

Women who are into online dating might not be representative of all women for many reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 05:13 AM
–

So, you are taking about women who use OkCupid's opinion on men who use OkCupid, not women in general. You don't see how that sample might be skewed?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 12:37 AM
1

Not necessarily. Open relationships exist after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 06:24 PM
1

Neither? Lying really bugs me and either way I'm not being honest with my friends. I'm a sex-indifferent-to-favorable asexual so I'd pick no sex over no love.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 06:23 PM
0

It's not that women only find 20% of men attractive; it's that they rate 80% of men as below average. Source?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 06:18 PM
7

The highest estimate I have seen is 30% of Gen Z women are queer, which includes all the lesbians and bisexuals.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 05:41 PM
1

I'm wondering how much this is a generational issue. Has it always been this way, or were the apps designed to appeal to men's sensibilities. The first app that allows and encourages videos will inspire more female users. Back in my prime, I never got swamped with attention on dating sites like today's 20-somethings are. But sites were fundamentally different. You could browse many profiles that matched your preferences rather than being presented a random assortment I have to swipe through one …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 02:32 PM
3

I overall agree with you overall, but women absolutely are trained to perform, just in a different way.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 11:46 PM
–

Absolutely, there's a lot of shitty people out there. My bro just got called an F-slur by some chick because he didn't want to fuck on the first date.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 10:55 PM
7

And yet I rarely see gender war content out of the blue. What are you feeding your algos?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 10:06 PM
3

I don't go on TikTok often, but I really don't come across any of this shit on my FYP. It's all people making music and art and LotR slop thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 09:39 PM
1

It's a restriction on my freedom based on my chromosomes. Isn't that exactly what you asked for examples of?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 09:38 PM
5

Absolutely this! Even the people I know I generally won't vibe with (usually cishet men and th occasional lesbian), I still try to give a chance to get to know them if they express interest. Because people are individuals and just because I've had bad experiences with individuals like that in the past doesn't mean every straight guy or lesbian will be like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 08:32 PM
5

I know several "male-decentered" lesbians who vocally hate men. I do my best to argue for the inclusion of men, but I'm often outnumbered. My romantic/sexual experiences with cishet men have been overwhelmingly negative, and yet I don't hate these men. I think they are victims of unhealthy social conditioning, which is not their fault but is their responsibility to navigate. I think "hating men" is an easy cop out and actually lets men off the hook for their individual behavior. Shallow characte…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 07:52 PM
3

All we can do is manage our own responses and be a voice for equity (read: treating people as individuals) in our tiny corner of the world. I encourage you to thoughtfully counter both misogyny and misandry wherever you encounter it. Unfortunately, it's easier to resort to name calling or generalizations than actually take things on a case by case basis with nuance, so people will opt for that more often. Doesn't mean we should stop trying though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 07:47 PM
3

I think hating individuals can be justifiable, but it's better to rise above the temptation. This is such good advice. Hate is a cancer that just festers if left untreated.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 07:41 PM
6

I'm not allowed to sign up for the draft. I tried and they wouldn't let me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 07:35 PM
1

You know, I'm thinking of how media in general promotes more positive masculinity than ever and yet boys and men are still feeling lost. I think you brought up an important aspect, and that is the personal touch. Feeling that someone actually cares about you and what you do. How do we get more men back into teaching and psychology?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 07:17 PM
0

Yep, I feel non-binary. Sometimes I feel a little masculine or feminine but usually I just feel like me. However, I hate being perceived through either a masculine or feminine lens.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 07:09 PM
–

It took me until my mid-thirties to find a guy who was "good in bed" according to this criteria. In my experience, a guy who is both respectful and enthusiastic in the bedroom is a rare combo.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:51 PM
–

I have similar problems and get maybe a couple of matches a month, usually from straight Christian men. I'm non-binary trans and pretty progressive, I don't really date straight men. I give one a chance every once and a while and am reminded why I stopped entertaining them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:44 PM
–

Yes, it's very common to go from "beautiful" to "an ugly bitch" when they find out you are not interested in sucking their dick.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:43 PM
0

Yes and the reverse is true as well. The difference is that guys will "like" a broad range of women from average to very attractive. Where is the data on that?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:15 PM
1

And what percent of men like the top 25% of women? Why is that info not included?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:04 PM
2

What are you talking about? You can tell women you don't want to pay for them and eliminate them from your dating pool. It's about enforcing your own boundaries, that's all any of us can do.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 08:41 AM
5

You can 100% choose not to participate in a transaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 07:55 AM
2

Except sexual intimacy is irreplaceable at a certain point, like how drinking water can take the edge off hunger but someone will still want to eat food. I don't think this is an apt analogy. It's more like having a small snack of something you aren't craving. It can absolutely sustain you, unlike water.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 03:09 PM
2

Interesting take. I think I agree with you. Too many people wrap too much of their self esteem up in sex. I def took more of this perspective when I was younger, but now that my self esteem is high regardless of relationships, I actually have a much healthier view of sex and enjoy it much more these days. However, I do have a small nitpick... People masturbate to the thought of fucking super hot people. People watch porn featuring super hot people. People watch movies with romantic plotlines abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 02:50 PM
5

What's wrong with my natural disaster/zombie apocalype/emergency go-bag? I have it in my closet regardless of if I'm in a relationship, and if I'm in a relationship with YOU, I will pack extra supplies for YOU.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 02:36 PM
7

It really almost always comes down to "choose better."
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 02:33 PM
1

I haven't changed much in my approach in 2+ decades. It's gotten better if anything. I spend very little time on dating apps and that's not how I usually find people to date. Community still works.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 02:10 PM
4

Yep, I am non-binary, bi, and ace. My dating pool is quite small. I still manage to date. I find it hard to believe that more options = better options for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 06:09 AM
6

I am bi and strongly prefer dating other bi people.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 06:07 AM
2

I honestly wouldn't put any of the guys I've been intimate with in the top 20%, but how I felt about them is what mattered.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 04:33 PM
7

I might have taken it a little far, I'm in my late thirties, but no regrets!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 03:23 PM
14

Still waiting for the right person for PiV. Not worth the pregnancy risk outside of a committed relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 03:19 PM
5

Depends if it's with a straight guy, a queer guy, or a woman. Generally, I have fun with queer guys and girls. Straight guys are so bad I've just about sworn them off entirely.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 02:00 PM
6

And people get throat cancer from going down on guys. So I should stop giving blowjobs, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 01:53 PM
5

I'm just here to make this a sample size of 2. I've given hundreds of blowjobs on my life, mostly to boyfriends, and I've been eaten out maybe 5 times?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 01:50 PM
2

Lots of good debates here, but I just wanted to focus on how women determine if a man is generous. Some are only focused on themselves, sure, but most people who value generosity look beyond themselves. For example, I value generosity strongly, and yet I don't expect my date to pay for me. I do pay attention to how they treat the service staff and how much they tip on their half or when it is their turn. I also ask about things like volunteering and donations to charity. I also care about how th…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 08:18 PM
–

I embrace the cringe, and I'm much happier for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:45 AM
–

You assume to know the mind of every woman. They are individuals.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:12 PM
–

If it is a problem for you, break up with her. I don't know what you want any of us to do about it. She is allowed to withdraw her consent at any time for any reason. Maybe she lusted after anal with her ex because he had a smaller penis and that felt better in that relationship, but now with you it is painful. Maybe she liked things rougher with her last partner that was shorter and scrawnier because she felt physical safety that she can't feel with your size difference. These instances would d…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 09:09 PM
3

I'm in my late 30s and I can't relate at all. I know women who are single and childless, single with children, and married without children. Most are satisfied with their life choices and are pretty happy where they are now. I'm personally glad I didn't partner off when I was younger. I was not a happy and healthy person in my 20s and I wouldn't have been a good partner nor was I attracting good partners. I'm very glad I took time off to work on myself, and now I'm making better connections than…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:09 PM
5

Plus, it's not like there aren't men around here with differing opinions already...
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:58 PM
4

Yes every man wants sex to some degree /#NotAllMen
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:57 PM
3

Because kink required trust and few get the opportunity to really explore it with someone they trust.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:54 PM
3

Yep, this is also my method. Get all the compatibility stuff out of the way so we don't waste each other's time.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:41 PM
3

So I shouldn't be coerced into vanilla sex because I don't like it, right? I only enjoy sex when it's kinky.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:38 PM
1

Did you know you can have self-respect and date at the same time? If not, you are dating the wrong people.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:25 PM
3

Therapy has helped me with dating, AMA. I got my last girlfriend literally on a dare from my therapist to ask her out.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:24 PM
2

FWIW, I've had lots of luck using Vraylar as a standalone depression treatment. It's not licensed that way, but it's another option worth pursuing. Depression is an illness and prevents healthy relationships. I know from personal experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:23 PM
–

Yeah, I agree with you, I really should've replied to the person above you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:03 PM
3

I’m a queer man You really gave me hope that there was a cishet guy who got it, but here we are. There's a reason I've sworn off straight men...
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:45 PM
–

You are inconsistent though. I bet your height has changed, your hair has changed, your wardrobe has changed, your job has changed, your house has changed. What about consistency?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:40 PM
–

I would be able to train her to appreciate me Ewwww
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:34 PM
–

What if I tried anal and found that I only enjoy it with below average sized penises? Now my new bf has a monster cock and I explain that I won't do anal with him because of it. Is that not consistent and fair?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:27 PM
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I'm sorry you live with such a rigid and biologically inconsistent mindset. Things change, that's the only fundamental truth of nature. People, being a part of nature, similarly change. You are setting yourself up for a lifetime of frustration.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:24 PM
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Women and men do not have wildly different number of lifetime partners. Y'all have this narrative that every woman has had a ho phase and many men are virgins. In reality, most young people, both men and women, have had at least a couple of sexual partners by the time they are 25-30.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:14 PM
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I have had boyfriends tell me "this is what girlfriends do and I will break up with you if you don't" when I was I fucking 13 years old. You have no idea what being a girl is like.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:08 PM
–

So let's say she tried it before and didn't like it. That doesn't matter to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:02 PM
–

Sure, some women do. It's also true that some men coerce women into sex acts they don't want to do, and that should never be held against them in any relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:58 PM
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Then why aren't you rioting about how much free shit rich people get? That scenario you described literally happens in society all the time, why aren't you posting about it if it's so enraging?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:55 PM
1

I think I agree with you, though we have different friends who do things differently in some ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:09 AM
7

I'd feel betrayed and probably not trust anyone again for a long time. Leave for sure. Can't be with someone I don't trust.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:34 AM
20

We can't really separate the fetish from socialization though. It makes sense that if you fear something, like rape, you might want to confront it in a situation where you still have control, as in a safe word. If women weren't raised with the fear of rape and men weren't constantly told they are meant to be sexually dominant, would these disparities persist as severely?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:45 PM
2

I know tons of nice guys. Almost all of them are married to lovely women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:20 PM
3

You're also twisting a very simple universal truth (it feels good to be desired) into an exclusively female trait with zero basis. So much this! Men want to be desired just as much as women. I know because I'm a sex-favorable asexual who dates both. My lack of ability to genuinely desire them is often a compatibility issue, even if we still have fun having sex. Sex isn't enough for most people, they want to also feel sexy. I also feel like I just have to add that any time someone claims somethin…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:34 PM
2

My neighbor who has the exact same house as me (starter home in an old neighborhood) with a yard full of weeds and junk is desired by all my straight female friends. He does crossfit in front of his house and they are always swooning when he does. Tell me about how it's his "status" they are fawning over again?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:29 PM
2

I watch edits of hot men made by women and the comments are so feral and clearly from women based on the anatomy they are describing that is reacting. Just reminded me how I have a friend obsessed with watch she calls the "penis ravine." Apparently, Connor Storrie has an impressive penis ravine. I don't know how one could possibly call that "autosexual."
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:26 PM
1

Several women on here have already said actions and sounds are arousing while still images are not.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:14 PM
2

Yesss! My sister is straight and I'm a queer rugby player. I always get excited by the amount of rugby on her TikTok, but for some reason it's all men's rugby...
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:13 PM
3

I have talked about video intros on dating apps for a while now. It's 2026, we have the technology, why aren't we doing it already?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:12 PM
3

Good for you! Just remember kids, a hoe is a garden implement. You are in a ho* phase.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 03:13 PM
2

Like as a job, or my brain?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 03:00 PM
2

Bushmeat is a much more likely hypothesis.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 07:15 PM
2

I think is can be, but is incomplete. Gender essentialism includes gender as a binary. There can be specific experiences based on genitalia, and the gender of the individual can provide nuanced context for their experiences. Most people identify as cis/het, or their gender alines with their genitalia and they are heterosexual. So the majority of men and women are going to have similar contexts and experiences relative to their sex. But there are people who have sexualities and gender identities …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 07:02 PM
3

This is all fascinating, and I've heard many similar reports from my binary trans friends. But then there is always variance, and I do wonder where that comes from biologically. For example, I'm non-binary trans but also asexual. I have perfectly normal hormone levels for an AFAB body, but I've never felt physical attraction (asexuality) or libido (just my weird wiring I guess), but I can still experience arousal just fine. I'm perfectly normal on all the physiological tests, but my brain seems …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 06:58 PM
6

The women I know who are girlbosses tend to be the decision-makers in their relationship. I think you are confusing and mixing different female archetypes here.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 06:47 PM
2

Isn't the point of this post that, because of biology, men and women will never be truly equal? They seem to be agreeing with you. The experiences are not equal, and I really don't see anyone on this sub agruing against that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 06:45 PM
2

Interestingly enough, I was born female but every psychologist and psychiatrist I've ever had tells me my brian works in a more typically masculine way. I identify with both aspects of femininity and masculinity. These days I go by they/them, which isn't perfect, but feels better than he or she in my case.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 06:17 PM
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It absolutely matters to me. I don't have sex with people I don't trust. At some point you make the choice to trust the person, and hopefully you're never wrong. I was not good at it as a teen, but I've learned. One of the reasons I usually take 3+ months to even consider sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 06:18 AM
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You never know this about anyone you are with, male or female. Some people are honest, some aren't. It's your job to figure out who you can trust. Just one of many reasons dating is rough.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 04:42 AM
2

Would you consider 5'4" to be short for a man? I knew a guy like that who the ladies just love.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 03:54 AM
2

Go out in public and you'll see plenty of unattractive guys with partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 03:46 AM
1

Yes I do, every time.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 11:33 PM
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This has not been my experience in dating...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 02:42 PM
–

Define "worse results." Divorce rates are declining, no? Legal spousal rape was better?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:02 AM
–

men are increasingly becoming better by BP metrics You have yet to prove this claim. Gen Z men hold more conservative beliefs than millennial men did at their age. Explain how that is "better" by BP metrics.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 06:47 AM
-2

The point is that modern dating has amplified female selectiveness and made average men easier to ignore than ever. Has it? Or is it the fact that 30% of Gen Z women are queer compared to 10% of Gen Z men? If female selectiveness was amplified, the few desirable men would have even more women than ever throwing themselves at them. That's not what's happening, more and more women are choosing each other's company instead of the top 20% or whatever. Also, I'd argue it was much easier to ignore ave…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 10:30 PM
1

The sex recession, young men struggling, women openly saying average men are not enough, and a small group of high-status men getting most of the attention were not invented yesterday. Men were talking about this long before it became acceptable for normie podcasts and media outlets to package it in softer language. "Women only want hot jocks" is a media tale as old as time. What is new?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 08:59 PM
5

Not really. I haven't heard the dating market brought up at all and I deal with population statistics for a living. There's way more focus on how to get already paired people to make babies than on how to get unpaired people paired. The majority of birthing aged people are still partnered.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 08:53 PM
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Thinking people are not selfish and deceptive when it comes dating is stupid. Agree with you there Thinking that you are yourself not selfish and deceptive when it comes to dating is worse, because it's pathetic. Strongly disagree. I've stopped even trying to put my best foot forward. I'm just unabashedly me and so far it's working. I'm getting better quality connections than ever. And that's post-wall. I'm glad I didn't settle down in my twenties because now I'm healthier and happier and will b…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 07:52 PM
–

what is toxic is a guy who clearly is texting multiple girls at the same time, somehow magically knows all the exact things that you like, gets wishy-washy answers in terms of his level of commitment, and plays the victim as to why he’s not committal Cool, I can avoid that guy if I know those things. But what that guy is actually doing is hiding his other relationships while telling you "I've never felt this way about anyone before, I want to spend my life with you." You have no idea what these …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 07:49 PM
–

but options. attention. access. men pursuing them. men trying. men offering dates, sex, validation, commitment, situationships, whatever. First, the average woman is overweight and not swimming in male attention. Does she get more attention than her male counterpart? Sure. Does that make this attention good? Not really. Attractive young women have men chasing them, but the average woman does not have a roster of men. The average woman is getting catcalled on the street, groped on the bus, and ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 07:29 PM
3

Since you used "and" I assumed they all are interchangeable in context. That's equally as horrifying.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 03:18 PM
3

A better discussion would be "do all men feel predatory, aggressive, possessive and controlling when they are penetrating a woman with their dick". Yes the vast majority do. THat is evo-psych. What? Your arguments is that most men feel predatory during sex? Don't project your kink onto everyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 02:41 PM
2

I would hypothesize that their worldview shapes their experiences. Confirmation bias perhaps. They will see what they want to see and ignore the rest.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 11:41 PM
7

Yes, this! I used to teach and never needed meds because it was always something new or crazy happening in my classroom. Now that I work an office job I finally got medicated because that's the only way I can do it. People with ADHD usually do great in crises.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 10:40 PM
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Hah, I also went through the evolution. Build up my business woman wardrobe just to go back to black skinny jeans and tshirts or a button down.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 05:37 PM
–

Yes, I'm trying to attract the queer and neurodiverse folks! Also, bonus points if I can scare away cishet dudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 05:35 PM
8

I read an article at some point about how trying new things together can help build connection in relationships because you associate the dopamine hit from the experience with that person.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 05:27 PM
2

Most people are addicted to novel stimulation, and not everyone cheats.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 05:26 PM
–

I get what you are saying but you are being pedantic. I do think these guys need to think about what a long term relationship really looks like and realize that easy access to sex can't always be guaranteed. But it is okay to say "a healthy sex life is a requirement for my long term relationships" and shorthand that to "I need sex." I need trust in a relationship. Will I die without it? No, but it's still a need of mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 04:17 PM
2

There's literally a whole sub for non-sexual BDSM.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 02:46 PM
1

I am asexual. I do not experience sexual attraction to people. You could say I'm one of those people who can only have good sex with BDSM aspects, but that's because I lack the natural instincts to enjoy vanilla sex. I do also have sexual trauma, but I have gotten lots of trauma therapy and even took ten years off the scene for healing. Some people are just wired differently.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 02:40 PM
–

I'm so glad you brought this up because I've been asking myself whether or not a spark is necessary. I am asexual, so I never experience sexual attraction. However, I have still felt "sparks" where things just seem to be aligning and it feels magical. As I've gotten older, I've recognized this to be the chemical rush of new experience and romantic potential. But is that feeling required? In the past, I've idealized potential partners. I've tried to stop doing this. We shall see how it works out.…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 07:59 PM
–

Yes, you did present a strawman argument. Nice of you to admit it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 07:55 PM
–

Haha, I need a rhythm or I'm lost. I 100% suck dick on beat.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 07:50 PM
–

And on the other end of the spectrum, I have a playlist I even use for solo time. For me, music is a better aphrodisiac than porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 07:50 PM
12

None of these comments show the same woman complaining about both things.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 07:05 PM
0

It's not binary that either looks matter or they don't, it's the fact that lots of other things matter too. It's a fatalistic black pill talking point to say looks are ultimately all that matters, and that is just untrue.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:50 PM
1

But it's true. The hottest guys I know are not the ones having the most casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:48 PM
1

I knew a 5'4" dripping with style and charisma who killed it with the ladies...
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:45 PM
1

I came up with the cheese pizza analogy. Don't be cheese pizza. Sure, most people will eat cheese pizza if it is all that is available, but it is extremely rare for someone to choose cheese pizza out of all the available options. Cheese pizza has mass appeal, but no one picks it as a favorite.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:42 PM
2

Exactly, I date both men and women and I really don't observe these gendered differences. I don't ascribe to gender norms though so I guess I don't attract those who do.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:30 PM
1

How does this not go both ways though? When women go on dates they are also trying to thread the needle of gauging interest and compatibility, expressing interest on getting to know him better without unintentionally "leading him on." Feeling out whether he will be threatened or happy when I offer to pay. Personally, I'm big on communication. I like to share what's going on in my mind during a date. Including all of these considerations. Last first date I went on and the end the guy was all "now…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 06:29 PM
2

Honestly, I find my lack of libido to be a blessing in dating. Allows me to focus on improving myself and connecting with people on a deeper level. Of course, it can be tough to find a compatible low libido partner, but finding a compatible partner is always the challenge in dating. Some variables just make it tougher than others.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 04:07 PM
3

I can say I have seen this interpretation many times. They insist "genuine desire" is the most important thing and you only know she has it for you if she sleeps with you, and ideally only you, quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 04:03 PM
2

Maybe it's because I'm on the spectrum, maybe it's because I'm asexual, but learning this about a potential partner would make me more interested in them. I value growth and personal responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 04:00 PM
4

Women you do see stick their necks out like this on principle are usually on the autism spectrum, report feeling alienated from their peers their entire lives, and end up with more male friends than female. I am a neuroatypical female who calls out both misogyny and misandry, but I have mostly female friends and none of them have abandoned me for it. In fact, they usually agree with me eventually when I insist "not all men." Maybe because I'm a bit older so lots of them have husbands and sons th…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 03:56 PM
2

How does privilege not take harm into account?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 03:53 PM
2

Yesss. I have taken this exact same approach. I love leading with my flaws and seeing who sticks around.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 06:05 AM
2

Men would complain about being overrun with fatties and uggos in a heartbeat.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 04:46 PM
6

attraction should be paired with self-awareness, realism, and knowing your actual lane. Not bad advice. Values are also important.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 03:26 AM
-6

You mean when today's young women were ten year olds?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 03:25 AM
3

Where is your source for monogamy no longer being attractive? Gen Z women are three times as likely to be queer as Gen Z men. They are dating each other, not multiple men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 03:22 AM
4

Except data shows most women marry within their respective socioeconomic group. I'm sure some nurses marry doctors, but plenty marry other nurses or med techs or skilled laborers or accountants or anything really.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 03:20 AM
3

I didn't catch the last sentence at first, that was uncalled for.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 04:47 PM
10

I am also wondering what strikes you as not civil about this? I date all sorts of people and 10/10 straight guys have repeatedly asked to cross clearly communicated boundaries. If it was a me issue you'd think this would be a pattern with all my partners, but none of the bi guys, bi girls, or lesbians I've dated do this. I'm sure there's some out there who do, and some straught guys who don't, but I'm just trying to learn from experience and choose better. 🤷
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 04:09 PM
5

How does this work mathematically though? If less and less men are pairing, it's because less and less women are choosing men. So no, women are not selecting for the same things.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 03:21 PM
2

Or become desireable another way. This is a false dichotomy, there are infinite options.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 03:19 PM
–

It was more me struggling with the idea that 20 years ago was still this millennium 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 03:21 PM
–

As someone who's been around the block at least "20 years or more," guyliner is much much older than that. Alice Cooper anyone?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 03:08 PM
–

The majority of people are damaged I agree, but why would you choose to use tactics you know only work on damaged people unless you specifically want a damanged partner? Sure, maybe these tactics work on low quality partners, but that's all your going to get. Is that really what you want?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 03:05 PM
5

Sit up straight, develop your core & back muscles Yes yes yes. I'm so glad I had physical therapy for shoulder and back injuries in my 20s, improved my posture so much. I'm still able to hold my own in the front line of a scrum in my late thirties!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 02:45 PM
–

Again, sex isn't something you get FROM women, you do it WITH them. You aren't taking anything away.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 06:17 AM
2

I'll let you know. I do plan to adopt older kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 02:02 AM
2

And you have experienced both? I'd rather be invisible than a rape target.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 01:19 AM
3

How often do you dress skimpy and hit the gay bar?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 01:13 AM
3

The vast majority of them aren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 12:56 AM
2

None of that is dehumanizing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 12:52 AM
3

What about if it was a big burly gay man?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 12:51 AM
3

I was born with two X chromosomes, went through normal puberty, have normal adult female hormone levels, and yet, I've never ever wanted to be pregnant. Like, the thought has literally made me want to vomit for over 2 decades now. Explain that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 12:50 AM
4

I've found that men understand this is when you make a comparison to if another man did this behavior to you on the street. Not a compliment--harassment. Now imagine if I told you that harassment from men is better than nothing. Precisely. If you are so desperate for attention, buy some booty shorts and a cute fishnet tank and head to your local gay bar. Tell me how much fun it is and how you are dying to go back.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 12:48 AM
4

Have you ever been objectified by a man? How did it make you feel?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 12:41 AM
8

And yes, some men have decided they would rather be sexually objectified with the silver lining of being more desired that that comes with, But they aren't desired, not really. Women don't feel desires when objectified, they feel dehumanized. That's part of it too. than be objectified as they are currently which generally has no silver lining but still has all the bad parts. No silver lining? You are calling being dehumanized as a silver lining and receiving monetary or in kind compensation as "…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 12:36 AM
–

And here I love breaking norms that reinforce toxic social pressures.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 12:21 AM
–

I'm dying to know how they react to trans people. Bird allies?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 12:18 AM
–

Okay, which definition? 95% CI, 99.5%? Queer people fall within two standard deviations of the mean, yet y'all act like we don't exist. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normal_distribution
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 12:13 AM
–

I have an exclusive FWB and I'm not looking for an exclusive partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 11:29 PM
2

My sis who is a big romantasy fan said it's not as good as her other less acclaimed series.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 11:27 PM
–

Adopt kids from the state most likely.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 10:49 PM
–

I'm not a man
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 10:48 PM
1

But what if they end up being a woman or an enby. I don't only date men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 09:53 PM
1

There is no such thing as normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 09:49 PM
2

But that's not the only difference because you mentioned "romantic desire" which is turned off in a FWB situation. So romantic desire seems to be the distinction, not sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 09:49 PM
2

I guess my point is that everyone is an individual. You can't assume. You lump demis in with allos, but I'm in some ways demi and the dating experience is very different than an allo one. I just wish y'all would remember this is not a universal human truth even if it's a common one. Fwiw, I'm asexual and have a FWB. Honestly, it's been a healing experience for me. Communication is fantastic and it's helped me figure out what I want in a romantic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 09:48 PM
1

A ride or die life partner who wants to adopt kids and isn't super hung up on physical intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 09:31 PM
1

Not as much as you, surely.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 09:30 PM
1

Well, I dunno, I'm either a virgin or a slut depending how you count. I prefer "slutty virgin" personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 09:30 PM
1

Saying most people have legs is not contradicted by the existence of leg amputees. Sure, but saying having two legs is essential to being human would be incorrect. What's the difference between a romantic relationship and a FWB arrangement if romance is just friendship+sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 09:29 PM
2

1) No it doesn't. My FWB has all sorts of insecurities. Talking openly about them is one of the reasons I trust him. 2) Try a hookup specific app like Feeld (or the local equivalent if that exists) 3) Very few people know what they actually want in a partner. We are mostly making it up as we go. 4) I've met multiple people off Reddit. There are specific subs, like r4r, just for meeting people. I'm a weirdo (queer, AuDHD, etc) and I find more fellow weirdos here than anywhere else.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 09:27 PM
1

What about FWBs? Are these by definition romantic relationships? Or is there something distinct that makes romance more meaningful than friendship + sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 09:23 PM
1

She obviously doesn't value everyday kindness and is probably pretty self centered since all she seems to care about is how he treats her, not anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 09:21 PM
2

Men don't "obtain" sex FROM women. They have sex WITH women. This framing is objectifying.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:58 PM
1

Have you taken a look around here? Look at how many agree with OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:55 PM
2

I have accepted it, it's why I don't date straight guys anymore. Also, why do women have to "accept" male nature while men refuse to "accept" female nature? I keep seeing calls for "structural changes" to "fix" dating dynamics.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:53 PM
3

So, to say that sex is a big part of romantic relationships is an understatement. For you, sure. For most allosexuals, sure. But I would argue emotional intimacy is much more indicative of a romantic relationship than physical intimacy. What's the difference between FWBs and romantic partners? I just think some of y’all don’t know what a happy, stable, and fulfilling relationship looks like. So true. Sexual compatibility is important.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:52 PM
1

Depends what you want
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:46 PM
1

It’s obvious when a man is feigning interest just to get sex. Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:45 PM
2

I would hazard a guess that most men don't care nearly as much as the terminally online guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:35 PM
0

While sex is certainly a core differentiator between a romantic and platonic relationship For many people, sure, but it's not a requirement and certainly not what separates romantic and platonic relationships. Look at FWBs. They are friends who have sex, does that make their relationship "romantic" by definition? No, because what separated friendship from romance is much more than just smashing nasty bits.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:32 PM
2

A healthy sex life is an entailment of a healthy romantic relationship. For allosexuals. Unless by "a healthy sex life" you mean "a sex life that satisfies all parties." The healthiest romantic relationship I've ever been in was completely sexless (with a fellow ace).
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:30 PM
1

#NotAllMen
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:24 PM
1

Believe it or not, there are actually men out there for whom sex is not the goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:23 PM
2

Absolutely. Anyone who equates romantic relationships with free access to sex is not someone I'm interested in dating ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:14 PM
1

It works out better for me than the alternative.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:10 PM
1

Have you stuck with any group hobbies or social groups? Or just one off events?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:06 PM
2

AvPD is not your fault but it is your responsibility to learn to manage it. Why do you think it's easier to find a relationship than a FWB? You can use OLD or Reddit to find either.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:03 PM
6

Sex isn't inherent in my romantic relationships...
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 07:59 PM
1

And this is why I don't date straight guys or do closed relationships anymore. Too much pressure.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 06:55 PM
10

Char statistically is way more dangerous You have yet to source this claim
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 03:47 PM
0

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11462786/
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 03:46 PM
13

But how many Chads are there? 10% of men? 20%? Either way, it's a minority of partnered guys. The majority of men in relationships are average guys, not Chads.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 03:23 PM
2

Yep, not just on this sub. I swear 90% of the interpersonal drama people post about here are people just not communicating or enforcing their own boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 02:55 PM
6

If your life isn't worth living single you aren't someone worth dating. Someone's happiness let alone life should never hinge on another person. What if your soulmate dies 3 years into marriage? Is a fulfilling life impossible? And also, this is exactly what manipulative partners say: "I'll kill myself without you!"
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 02:40 PM
2

because simply saying men have it tough isn't an option. Didn't OP say exactly this in her post? Who is saying it isn't an option? I can't do anything about it except continue having no filter on height on my OLD.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 02:37 PM
0

Actually, I'm talking about what I hear at women's rugby, lesbians bars/nughtclubs, etc. I don't interact with many lesbians online.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 02:18 PM
2

Or marry someone with the same values as you? Open marriages are a thing, but they aren't for everyone. Cheating is bad because it betrays trust. If you trust your partner and everything is above board, an open relationship can be a beautiful thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 10:46 PM
5

Spend less time analyzing everyone else and more time analyzing yourself. Good advice for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 10:39 PM
1

I don't know if that subset is that small honestly, there are always going to be 20-somethings with daddy issues. The trick is getting the 20-somethings to settle down. That's reserved for the few.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 10:37 PM
2

Ho*
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 10:01 PM
2

Your assumptions don't match any documented reality though. Until you can source your claims with anything other than your gut, we'll have to work with the evidence we have. 17.7% of women age 25-49 have had exactly one sexual partner in their entire life. So no, 95% aren't fucking around with Chad before they settle down. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n-keystat.htm Further reading: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/personality-measurement/202311/is-the-attractiveness-of-dar…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 09:55 PM
-1

What is "moral credit"? You should live by your morals because they are your morals, not because you think it will get you a pat on the head. And I'm sure they get credit for it from people who know them. They'll say "oh, he's a good one." Or are you are asking strangers to know what is in someone's heart?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 09:50 PM
3

Only 27% of US women have ever used a dating app. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/02/key-findings-about-online-dating-in-the-u-s/
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 07:10 PM
1

Sure, they just aren't a representative sample of all women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 07:02 PM
6

Similarly, not every instance of physical touch needs to build up to sex. It often does, but it doesn't have to. I had a relationship with another asexual and it was so refreshing to be able to cuddle or massage each other without feeling like it had to lead somewhere. Sometimes I just wanna cuddle, ya know?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 06:08 PM
5

Exactly this. I'm AuDHD and I still approach people. Is it uncomfortable? Yes. I don't do cold approaches ever. But going from "you are fun to hang out with" to "I want to take you out on a date" is just a matter of being brave. Also have to be prepared to gracefully accept rejection.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 05:57 PM
-5

No, they are a subpopulation of women called "women on Tinder" who are representative of women who use Tinder, not all women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 05:53 PM
0

I am sure most guys saying we need to make Handmaid's Tale a reality would also argue they are "joking."
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 04:53 PM
5

Because a lot of people are shallow? Also, average guys don't get "nothing." Average guys find sex, love, and marriage all the time. Only 10% of men are virgins. Most average guys are getting laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 04:52 PM
0

It's working on weak people. I've lived and learned and don't tolerate anyone pushing my boundaries anymore. Low self esteem is a trap.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 04:50 PM
-6

Tinder isn't real life. Get off OLD, it's a cesspool of scammers and users. Stop looking for shortcuts.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 04:48 PM
7

People willing to act unethically to get their way are more likely to get their way? Why is this surprising. Still not an excuse to be a bully. I could probably make more money scamming people than doing my regular job, but I don't because it doesn't align with my values. Does that make me less successful than a scammer? Or should we each be graded on our own curve of moral consistency?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 04:47 PM
0

I pretty much hang out with straight women, queer men, and queer women. I've heard it jokingly from all of these groups. I've seen castration suggested mostly by straight women. Again, it's a "joke," but a cruel one.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 04:41 PM
1

I hang out with many lesbians. I hear this irl more often than online.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 04:26 PM
0

I mean, I've seen calls for mass castration and mass murder of men. I do think the extremes are closer than most are willing to admit.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 04:05 PM
0

I have never dated anyone, man or woman, for their stats. I can't even tell you how tall all my partners have been because it's irrelevant to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 04:00 PM
2

Insisting it is a universal truth because some or even many have that preference is though.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 03:59 PM
1

I believe in treating everyone warmly and lovingly, regardless of their vitriol. I honestly think that's the best way to combat it. Kill them with kindness.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 03:16 PM
2

I have the most context-sensitive responsive-based desire on the planet, I'm both ace and bi/pan. I'm also neurodiverse.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 03:11 PM
4

In sex both the woman and the men get physical pleasure Not according to the orgasm gap
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 02:35 PM
–

A minority of women maybe. Most women aren't young nor hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 07:10 PM
1

I've found ones I like from Gregory and Osprey. The Deva from Gregory fits me pretty well in a S or XS.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 05:32 PM
1

I tried CBT and ACT but found the most success with IFS. Not about to doxx my therapist tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 04:11 PM
1

One of my most upvoted comments recently was explaining that one of the things holding me back from losing weight is the attention from men. I remember what it was like to be fitter and didn't like many aspects of it. I'll get back down eventually for my health, but I'm absolutely not looking for that kind of attention. Based on the number of women agreeing with me, you are missing the perspective of some women in this take. Weight gain is a common response to SA.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 03:29 PM
1

If you have neurodivergence, your only hope is literally looksmaxxing to make your flaws tolerable. My looks are worse than ever but I've been able to make lots of improvements to my genetically cursed social skills in therapy. And you know what? I'm getting better dates than ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 03:26 PM
-2

I have seen many guys on here insist that there is no point to improving social skills, especially if they think they have "bad genetics," which honestly is an even better reason to work on social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 03:20 PM
1

HIM from Powerpuff Girls - a queer icon!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 03:16 PM
1

I have approached all my relationships as friendships first. For this reason, I'm still on friendly terms with all my exes. It's the best way to go imho.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 03:14 PM
0

Nope, they can't change their attraction, but they can absolutely change their thought patterns and behaviors around dating. It's called therapy and it's pretty great. Love, Someone who spent years unlearning their hopeless mindset
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 03:06 PM
1

Non-binary
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 11:19 PM
1

Why would I need you to reach the top shelf when I can just get a step stool? And I have no problem carrying my own load and then some as long as my backpack has a frame made for my body, which they've only started drsigning for us shorties in recent years. I will never need a man. I will probably end up with one, but if I marry a woman or another enby, I would be missing out on anything divine. Where do queer people fit in your worldview?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 04:31 PM
1

Just making observations. Isn't that what we do here? I'm non-binary. I don't have a horse on this race. I just honestly think men and women face some of the same issues and some differing issues, but few on either side have it on easy mode and some have it on extra difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 03:38 PM
1

I don't think you are wrong that there are women like this, but there are also plenty of men like this too. No one here has made any case for either side being worse, though violent extremism comes more from one side than the other, there are definitely extremists on both sides.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 10:56 PM
0

Sex selective abortions tend to result in more women killing girl babies than boy babies though.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 10:54 PM
2

Absolutely. Coffee or a non fancy dinner are great when you are just getting to know someone. I pay or split the bill, so no hoops required.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 10:43 PM
2

Well, having a friend for mutual support in life sounds great. I'm ace but not aro so I do experience romantic attraction and a romantic relationship. I'd also love to adopt older kids someday but doubt I could manage that as a single parent.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 10:42 PM
3

Asexual people can still date and marry. I'm asexual and looking for a life partner. Asexuals do not experience sexual attraction, that's it. We can still feel other types of attraction and even have sex if we feel like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 09:22 PM
0

I'm asexual but I'm dating to find a life partner. I always get to know people as friends before I date them so it's not cold to me. I don't relate to most of the perspectives I read here. Physical attraction is non-existent for me, so I can focus on compatibility instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 09:21 PM
3

I agree with you here, but it's amazing how many guys on this sub view these actions as "jumping through hoops." If you actually like the person, it doesn't feel like you are jumping through anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 09:06 PM
10

Okay, I'm sure it's been asked, but I always miss the thread, but how do you all count "body count"? PiV only? Anal too? Does oral count? What about manual? Do you count same-sex partners? Do you count differently for men/women or tops/bottoms? Edit: Three replies with three different answers. Body count is a meaningless metric unless we can agree on a definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 09:02 PM
0

That's completely understandable. Anyone minimizing your trauma is an asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 08:40 PM
0

Where did I say only men should do this? This is how I live and how I recommend everyone else to live. I don't treat people any differently based on gender and I'll never understand the mindset of those who do.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 07:13 PM
0

You don't think the perpetuation of rape culture has anything to do with what happens to women?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 07:10 PM
1

Them* and maybe. I think they just project their shallow physical desires onto me. For example, I got messaged by a straight dude claiming to think we were soulmates immediately - Red flag. Within a few messages he proceeded to explain that he would never use they/them pronouns (clearly listed on my profile) for me because they are stupid, but we were still obviously meant for each other. How delusional do you have to be? And yet the problem is apparently "not giving guys a chance."
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 07:48 AM
-2

No, actually, the burden of proof falls on the one making the claim in the first place. Onus probandi incumbit ei qui dicit, non ei qui negat – the burden of proof lies with the one who speaks, not the one who denies https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burden_of_proof_(philosophy)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 07:24 AM
-3

Who is ultimately responsible for those men not having dates, specifically?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 05:11 AM
1

She literally said "not all men" and y'all still claim she's saying the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 05:04 AM
-2

because most men aren't cheaters, beaters, lazy, emotionally closed off, entitled, or jerks Do you have a source for that claim. I would bet a majority of men and women fall into one of those categories. Even just the latter three, there's tons of people who are either emotionally stunted, feel entitled, or are just jerks. That describes most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 05:02 AM
1

It's complaining that when posting on the internet, some people say mean and out of left field things. Get used to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 11:30 PM
2

I can name about half a dozen local men's shelters, try again. Men's only shelters are common for homeless vets for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 11:29 PM
0

I honestly see no reason in trying to help you if you'd never do the same for me were I in your shoes I was with you right up to here. Live by your values regardless of other people's behaviors or beliefs.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 08:50 PM
9

We had 10 DV sheleters total, now we have 6. Oh, and the DV hotline has been defunded to closure. Thanks to men in power.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 08:40 PM
8

Assholes exist everywhere. If you vent without projecting blame, few are gonna argue, but again, assholes exist. Man, dating sucks. Ghosting, liars, manipulators. We can comiserate. But not everyone is going to agree with your personal victim narrative. Find people who's opinions you value and consider them. We all feel lonely. We all deserve compassion. Trying giving some and see what manifests.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 08:36 PM
2

Because all stereotypes are double edged swords
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 07:23 PM
-7

It's a form of misogyny. Women are delicate, fragile, pure beings that must be protected. You're complaining about the patriarchy...
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 01:45 AM
–

10 years younger? Ew. I'll happily take the short king, thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 01:42 AM
2

Yeah, gender norms are super fucked, that's why I ditched them. Women are currently the ones arguing against this view, though. Some women, sure. Some men too. We can tell ourselves victim stories or we can tell ourselves hero stories. Which we choose colors our worldview. Women are also the ones that do the most to promote unequal viewpoints According to which metric now? "made to penetrate" Does this specify the gender of the assailant? Were those involving males on males counted separately or…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 01:33 AM
–

I do. Why are you yelling?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 01:14 AM
–

Woo! Montessori mentioned!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 01:10 AM
0

Get this black pill nonsense out of here. Be someone desireable, to yourself first and foremost.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 12:20 AM
4

That's why I refuse to be called blue pill. Def not red, but probably purple. I Am The Prize is great advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 12:19 AM
3

And this fixation on whether someone would have dated you when you were in your early twenties is very irrational. People grow. They mature. They learn what is better in a relationship and what is not. This goes for men as well as women. So much this! I would've have wanted to date me in my twenties either. I'm much more well adjusted now. Entering my late thirties but feeling more hopeful and less doomed than ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 07:06 PM
2

It's not men who have thirst trap Excuse me, what? Not in your algorithm, but yes, there are many many male thirst traps out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 06:39 PM
4

I would love to see more men in education but I'm opposed to affirmative action. Structural changes should come well before hiring.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 06:11 PM
6

Agreed, and it is already a crime.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 06:10 PM
2

Imo it's probably 33% of single men (who want a relationship) that in their own way. I personally think it's much higher, and applicable to both men and women. Both end up in toxic relationships out of desperation because they are focusing on the wrong things. Personal development is essential for healthy relationships. "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 06:09 PM
8

If it is legitimately a scam, he has legal recourse. Fraud is illegal. Theft is illegal. If by "scamming him out of money" you mean asking him to pay for things and him acquiescing, that's on him.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 06:06 PM
6

Exactly, like believing that the vast majority of women have experienced violence or the threat of violence from a romantic partner. They just want the understanding to go both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 06:05 PM
2

We're just ask women to not be sympathetic to gold diggers and not encouraging manipulation So stop focusing your energy and attention on gold diggers and manipulators. I mean, that's exactly what guys tell girls to do when they complain, no? I don't run into this content. I don't personally know any gold diggers, it's frowned upon by the women I do know, as is manipulation. What leads you to believe this is something the majority of women engage in? Is this a real life problem or an internet ra…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 06:00 PM
2

Amen
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:55 PM
7

I can honestly say women think we want to f*** them every time we don't get our way when in reality we just want more clarity. Clarity on what though? How to get them to fuck you. What else are you looking for clarity on? Fwiw, I used to experience guys pressuring me to change my boundaries and I just started dropping any guy who does that like a hot potato. If men are experiencing toxic women, they need to change who they are approaching. With both men and women who get into bad relationships o…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:53 PM
5

99% of the time. I'm not saying if you have a hideous deformed face that's not gonna make things harder, but 99% of people's issues in life are between their own ears. As individuals in modern society, we generally do not receive the complete education and development we need to be happy healthy people. You gotta go out and find it yourself. 99% of people are too distracted by temporary dopamine hits to pursue true inner peace. I really like the 8 Cs from IFS therapy: Calmness, Curiosity, Compas…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:24 PM
4

I don't understand how divorce laws prevent someone from dating in the first place? If you are afraid of divorce, don't get married.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:19 PM
8

So you didn't read the thread then. Check out this podcast on how therapy helps even the manliest of men: https://open.spotify.com/show/4SttSLOSWCuXploDPmQXN7
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:17 PM
13

What legal changes will help men in dating? There are legitimate men's rights issues such as the draft, men not being believed as victims, etc but I'm wracking my brain trying to understand how any of this impacts dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:15 PM
9

Theft is illegal. If a man willingly pays a woman, what is the crime? Maybe don't give out money to women and choose better women?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:14 PM
2

That's what keeps the gender wars going though. Women push back against men, men push back against women. No one actually has it worse though, it's just different. If we stopped generalizing and blaming, we'd make a lot of progress. Love, An enby with no skin in the game
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:11 PM
7

Why? Why is it wrong to focus on dating when the topic of the conversation is dating, not everyday life?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:07 PM
15

And women are being asked for nudes and sex all the time. That doesn't mean all men are sexual bullies nor that all women are gold diggers. No one denies these people exist, but as the old addage goes, it's up to you to "choose better." I am of the minority opinion that dating isn't actually easier for women. Having to work hard to get likes is the flip side to being inundated with meaningless likes and having to sift through all of them with minimal information. I would say 90-95% of the likes …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 04:59 PM
4

And plenty of financially responsible and minimalist women exist. I'm glad you know what you want and what you don't want. That's very healthy and half the battle in dating. Why focus on other folks then? Why waste time talking about relationships with people you are not interested in? I agree with your views. I paid off my student loans in a few years of frugal living. Being debt free is my dream but that's tough as a homeowner. Already knocked a few years off my mortgage with extra payments th…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 04:31 PM
4

If you haven't been in 10 relationships how can you day 9/10? Has it happened to you 9 times? Or are you letting one bad experience taint your entire worldview? In my personal experience, 10/10 straight guys will try to pressure you into sex after a firm no. I still don't believe this is true of every straight guy, despite my personal experiences, because others report more positive experiences and I believe them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:57 PM
3

Yes, in any relationship I'm in, be it friendly or romantic, we should both enhance eachothers lives. If you can't do that for each other, it's not a healthy relationship. Of course, this waxes or wanes through the course of a relationship. When my friend gets surgery, I make sure their fridge is stocked with soup and watch movies together while they recover. Maybe next year when I get that bad flu, they come over and help me clean the house when I'm on the mend. But the rest of the time, we are…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:52 PM
4

But if that is true, then isn't it just natural that more men than women are single? People around here point to it as evidence of a broken society, but you are seeming to say it's just a biological fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:47 PM
4

When one feels the need to exclaim how they are protecting their peace, 9/10 they are just selfish. Why do you think this? Do you have a source? Women who has gone to therapy or otherwise worked on themselves to get to a better place staying out of toxic relationships is healthy, not selfish.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:45 PM
7

Honestly, this frame of thinking alone has led to me being so much happier in life. I used to be more of a people pleaser and never had any luck in dating. Now that I'm more focused on my mental health, I'm making better and more genuine connections than ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:33 PM
2

I disagree. It is hard work to keep my peace alone and it would be hard work to keep my peace in a relationship of any kind. Implying that "keeping your peace" = doing nothing shows that you don't really understand the concept at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:31 PM
3

A person wanting mutually egalitarian relationship is not approaching dating with "i will protect my peace!" attitude. Why not? This is my attitude. I paid on my last first date. I still want to wait around in my peace until I find someone who enhances it. If that's selfish, so be it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:27 PM
3

So more men than women being single is what men actually want? To be left alone? You gotta understand that runs counter to A LOT of narratives floating around here.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:24 PM
3

Nope, that's not toxic at all, that's healthy. People without a strong sense of self worth are much more likely to end up in abusive relationships. Self esteem is necessary to avoid or extract yourself from these types of dynamics.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:20 PM
5

Yes, there are. Check out van life TikTok or nature survival chicks. Plenty of low maintenance women out there. Or are you expecting a woman who has the look of fake nails, lashes, extensions to be low maintenance?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:17 PM
0

If your free time and energy are so limited, you are not ready for a healthy romantic relationship. They require time and energy. There is no shortcut.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 03:35 AM
6

Gen Z women are more than 3 times as likely as Gen Z men to be queer.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:49 PM
1

Why would a woman want to have sex with a man they think is average?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:47 PM
7

a huge percentage of men are far more invisible now compared to just a couple decades ago. Source? Mr. Cellophane was written over 50 years ago. This feeling isn't new nor limited to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:46 PM
6

Do you know what the littlest children eat? It will blow your mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:38 PM
4

I would consider the average woman an active/dormant hoe. How many women do you know and how many are hos*? Think of all the women you know, not just the ones you want to fuck. Mom, grandma, sis, auntie, friends, acquaintances. How many are hos? Out of just my female friends, it's like a 1:3 ho-to-not ho ratio. I think your math is off. *A hoe is a garden implement
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:37 PM
6

And how are you defining these women as average?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:33 PM
1

Body Type and Sex: The number of sexual partners reported by women is tied to weight, with thinner women reporting fewer partners. This is a really interesting finding and important to consider for the guys looking for lots of casual sex but "no fat chicks." Quite the conundrum.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:27 PM
6

They always picture the young hot women who would flock to them and forget about all the overweight and older women who would also flock to them and outnumber the young hot women significantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:24 PM
-2

This issue is something that only women can fix. So you agree that women being apprehensive about being alone with a strange man because some men rape women is an issue only men can solve, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 03:21 PM
–

We are both bi/pan :)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 10:56 PM
–

Absolutely not. I don't want to date him and he doesn't want to date me. We are just bros who get each other off.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 10:06 PM
–

Well, I'm more interested in an open marriage than a closed one so I guess I'm just out here living RECKLESS.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 10:05 PM
–

So your position is that happy monogamous relationships simply don't exist?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 09:52 PM
–

I met my FWB through online dating and he's just an average dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 07:44 PM
–

Casual sex is just reckless Doesn't that depend on how you define casual sex? I have a FWB who I got to know for months before getting into bed with him. I don't sleep around and if he does he let's me know and gets tested before we meet up again. I also don't engage in any forms of sex with him that could get me pregnant. Doesn't feel very reckless to me... Btw, he's chubby, average height, and balding for anyone convinced this is a Chad-exclusive arrangement.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 07:41 PM
–

A pot for every lid.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 03:20 AM
–

I go on Reddit during Jeopardy commercials, thank you very much.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 03:18 AM
1

Well, this scientific paper says 1-2 times a week but the meme says 5+, guess it must be 5+ /s https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032725000552
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:32 PM
4

Confirmation bias. You see it because you ignore everything else you aren't primed to pick up.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:53 PM
1

You are absolutely right, both men and women are prone to this. It's almost like human brains are wired to accept simple answers that conform to their worldview and avoid the hard work of introspection. For all the research you all claim to reference, it's funny y'all haven't realized this yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:51 PM
2

You accidentally stumbled onto the real truth right here. NAWALT. NAMALT.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:48 PM
2

The gender wars are just an excuse for everyone to play the victim. As a non-binary trans person, it's fun to watch cismen and ciswomen both pretend to be victims of society.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:47 PM
-2

From my view, guys who focus on toxic chicks behavior are the same as women who focus on toxic men. Neither recognizes that they focus on a small portion of the demographic. Do some women have shitty behaviors? Sure, some men do too. But if that is all you think about, you cannot have a healthy relationship with the opposite sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:45 PM
1

Which non-Anglo cultures is it common in?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:31 PM
8

The most interesting finding seems to be that feminism has increased subjective happiness for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:25 PM
13

So if she's young and says it she will change her mind, but if she's old and says it she's just being bitter? Is there any reality in your eyes where a woman could actually enjoy being single?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:23 PM
12

Once again I have to remind this sub that a hoe is a garden implement, whereas a ho* is a woman who sleeps around. Kids these days, I swear...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 03:51 PM
22

You've never met a lesbian before?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 03:49 PM
1

And maybe if we eroded gender norms that turn men into shells of rage that would change.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 12:27 AM
–

I think Polis or Kelly could be a strong candidate, but hardly anyone is talking about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 03:49 PM
1

Men wish that women were sexually attracted to a higher percentage of men, but this will just never be biological reality no matter how much men wish it. I dunno, I like to think if we continued eroding gender stereotypes and norms it could be better. Women are also discouraged by norms from embracing their own sexuality. Norms also inform relationship dynamics after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 12:30 AM
2

Because if ciswomen literally could be expected to straight up share bathrooms with cismen, that probably automatically steelmans whatever you want to do Oddly enough, I've never been hit on in the men's room. Literally everywhere else, but I use the men's restroom in public all the time and people are in there for business only.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 08:16 PM
2

Not just catcalling. I've lost count of how many times a strange man has tried to get me into his car. Literally have had guys stop on a busy street to try to pick me up.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 08:11 PM
2

Most men would love to have a random woman stare at them. Many men would like random women approaching them for a “good time”. Men would love to receive unsolicited “vagina pics” from women. Except they would get sick of it. Sure, it would be a fun novelty at first, but when the majority of attention or nudes you receive are from people you don't find attractive, it becomes an annoyance. When men say this they are thinking only of the women they are attracted to. If every twenty-something dude w…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 08:09 PM
1

Absolutely. We should all be vetting our partners better. It takes more than 3 dates...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 08:05 PM
3

Not to mention if the person being approached happens to be neurodivergent. Nope, guess you are not allowed to be overwhelmed by the sudden interruption.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 07:58 PM
1

There's a mix out there. I've definitely come across guys who act desperate for a girlfriend, but mostly it's just people trying to feel out each other's vibe.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 06:43 PM
–

I try to speak to blackpillers because I know what it is to feel hopeless. I felt hopeless for a solid two decades, but I'm actually pretty content now. Life doesn't have to feel terrible, all you gotta do is focus on what actually matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 08:11 PM
–

Short short, no idea about my canthal tilt or interocular distance, obese, average face, though I do get compliments on my skin sometimes (I don't do anything special except moisturize). I'm also neurrotic as hell with AuDHD.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:45 PM
13

What don't women believe men about? Do you believe that when many men are alone with women, they become much more aggressive? Do you believe women when they tell you there experiences with certain men and change their behavior to avoid being alone with this kind of man?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 04:41 PM
9

So use protection and get a prenup? Dating is always risky. If you don't think a healthy, fulfilling relationship is worth the effort, don't pursue one.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 04:36 PM
9

What we are seeing is record numbers of men dropping out of different portions of society Are we? Do you have any stats? There's always been vagrants, unemployed, etc long before the sexual revolution. Blame the industrial revolution if you want. Are women not similarly dropping out?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 04:32 PM
2

Yes, but what am I supposed to do about it? I approach people I like, but I can't force other women to and I shouldn't have to. Everyone is allowed their own preferences in dating. I'm curious, do you also understand why women don't approach men and are cautious around new men? Are you sympathetic to the risks faced by people living in female bodies?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 04:30 PM
11

My personal experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 04:27 PM
0

I say "not all men" all the time to my friends and it's a non-issue. I don't waste my breath on Internet trolls though.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 04:14 PM
0

I want you to tell me a couple of concerns that men actually have about women that are legitimate that women or society take with actual seriousness. One I bring up all the time is women more often than men expect me to read their minds. If a man wants something from me, he will probably just tell me assuming he has the confidence. Women, on the other hand, all too often feel like you should just know what they are thinking/feeling, even the confident ones. Like, I'm autistic, I'm never going to…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 04:11 PM
0

Can they work, own property, vote, meaningfully contribute to society?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 04:09 PM
0

Line dancing at the local country bar is free.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 03:55 PM
0

Clubs still exist...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 02:29 PM
3

I mean yeah, if you have social deficits, you are probably atypical in some way. I'm AuDHD with severe depression and anxiety. I know what it is to need extra help with social tasks and learning to ID your emotions. On another note, I think "a spark" is an overrated feeling that's usually more confusing than helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 02:28 PM
1

Naw, I'm good. I'd like to lose some weight, but I'm scared of being hit on again...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 01:43 AM
-1

what alternative truths can you tell him hes wrong when its infront of him? Because he was confident. When you put blinders on and only focus on a small subset of the population, you aren't getting the full story. That's the biggest problem with TRP - cherrypicked "observations." The narrative only works if you completely disregard all the short, balding, pudgy guys who are also getting laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 01:40 AM
6

I mean, easily, but I'm asexual so... It'd be like giving up rock climbing. Would I be a little bummed I can't do one fun hobby anymore? Sure, but I can live without it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:52 AM
-2

I can absolutely see where you are coming from too. I was severely depressed for about two decades. Every once and a while, someone offered me a hand up and I would be enraged. How could they not see how bleak and hopeless it all was? I didn't want to mask and pretend everything was okay when it wasn't. But you know what? The world got objectively bleaker and yet here I am happier than ever. What they OBSERVE is real, but the narrative they ascribe to it is what is often false. But the narrative…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:46 AM
5

I'm tatted and pierced, but alt folks are just like everyone else: some are assholes, some are cool. Alt people tend to be more accommodating to those who break social norms in some way because they usually don't value those social norms, which is why they are alt in the first place. So alt people are slightly more accepting, but otherwise basically just average people.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:32 AM
3

I'm autistic but I assure you I'm not hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:27 AM
0

I would assume those are two different groups of women, but also, plenty of people are hypocrits and even more people are addicted to rage bait I actually have had this same conversation with my middle school students. They'll be raving about some boy being "rude and stupid and worthless" and I'll ask them "if he's so worthless, why do you spend all your time and energy thinking about him?" I'm here because I think most incels have been misled and I want to meaningfully engage with them. I'm act…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 12:26 AM
10

I don't feel chemistry with the vast majority of men I meet, they are still men. In fact, I tend to like less traditionally "manly" men more.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 11:08 PM
2

Exactly, apps aren't real life. They should really all have video intros where you can see and hear how the person presents themself. Like, it's 2026. People were making VHS dating tapes in the 90s. We need to do better. But that won't keep you swiping, so the companies would never. We need a not-for-profit dating app.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 11:05 PM
15

Here's the issue with #1: You are assuming most people were attending balls back in the day. What you are describing is limited to upper class folks in a few specific eras. This was never the way common folks were meeting. It's always been a hodge podge of different methods for different folks, informed by their status, just like today.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 09:37 PM
3

I would say this equally applies to women who assume the worst when a man approaches them and the men who are worried their girlfriend is gonna run off with the next Chad she meets.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 06:30 PM
3

Except stats don't support this, try again. This guy seems attracted to women who want to date up since he keeps running into them. Most women date and marry laterally.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 05:37 PM
4

Chadé is still a female suffix in French. You're looking for Chadet (procounced the same as Chadé).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 06:01 PM
13

And Weekly World News is almost 50 years old, doesn't make it a reliable source of anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 05:59 PM
2

Can you please share this Pew Study? That's very interesting. I know something like 30% of Gen Z women are queer whereas only like 10% of Gen Z men are. Could have something to do with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 05:00 PM
–

But words mean things. If you meet a pair of newlyweds, odds are more likely that they did not meet through OLD. A plurality is not the same as a majority.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 12:02 AM
2

In both cases there are simply insurmountable institutional blocks in place to make finding the exceptional non-shallow people extremely difficult. Yup, it's tough, but if you really want a real connection, you put in the work.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 09:04 PM
–

if you meet newlyweeds its MORE LIKEY THEN NOT that they meet trough OLD Not if current numbers are accurate. If 25-40% meet through OLD, there's at least a 60% chance they met another way. So it's less likely than not.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 08:58 PM
3

Yes, men and women. If I develop a crush on someone, I tell them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 08:48 PM
3

Air atoms are uniform, people are not
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 04:57 PM
1

In the sense that I'm not going to provide free labor to a woman who isn't my sexual partner. This is such a bleak world view. I'm jumped batteries for strangers, changed tires for strangers, interpreted for strangers, volunteered to build houses for strangers, and done all sorts of free labor for people of all genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 03:14 PM
1

Undesirable men used to still get married off. Care to cite a source? Wealthy undesirable men maybr got arranged marriages through their families due to their wralth. But a below average dude? He died in a factory or in a war. Also, do you think the definition of "a desirable man" has been exactly the same in every culture and time point in history?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 03:09 PM
0

Everyone benefits from government support in absolute terms, but what matters to this discussion is who benefits RELATIVELY. the amount of money that is spent by the government on the average woman is higher than the amount of money the average woman gives the government. For men it's the opposite, they give more money to the government than the government spends on them. That's not how you do impact investments nor how you calculate ROI. Do men benefit from less homeless children being raised m…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 02:43 PM
2

I agree with you. However, the issue for women is that they don't know which type of guy he is. Yes, it's possible for him to play a long con, but most of those types will look for an easier target. If a woman wants to avoid being pumped and dumped by liars, waiting at least a few dates is a pretty effective filter.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 01:02 AM
0

I completely agree with this take. We have to stop spreading the narrative that "you have to put out if you want him to commit." Really fucked with my mind and self worth as a teen/young woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 12:42 AM
0

I dunno. My first relationship with a man involved coercive control. My dad's friend tried to groom me and did groom my sister. I learned from those experiences. But I still seem less scared of men than my friends who watch true crime.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 07:23 PM
2

5'6" means he is still taller when I'm in heels. I don't actually care, but lots of guys seem hung up on it. I've hooked up with a 5'4" guy before. Height isn't a factor for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 07:20 PM
1

So how many years into IFS therapy are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 07:15 PM
3

Good question! My ideal man is at least 5'6" with thick thighs. The height thing is negotiable. Don't care about their job as long as they can support themself because I can't support both of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:52 PM
1

And why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:48 PM
6

This is so true. You can see it in the Manosphere doc when each influencer talks about his upbringing. The sad part is instead of giving them tools to cope with their trauma, they give them masks to wear and new ways to shove their feelings deep down and externalize the blame. That helps no one in the end really.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:47 PM
3

Ooo, I actually think this is a really good point. I think this has contributed to individuals feeling less safe over time despite society becoming more safe over time. I've seen similar conclusions about news coverage.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:43 PM
7

Not who you are replying to but I've been with a 5'4" guy and am currently talking to a 5'7" guy. I agree with the statement. Is it valid now?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:42 PM
11

Yes, just like women are obligated to support men with taxation. It's how modern society works. So sorry you have to suffer through having roads, police, restaurant health inspections, and less people dying in the streets. How awful it must be. I'm sure the shy introverted guys would do much better in the barbaric hellscape of free society... /s
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:31 PM
25

And men also benefit from government support. Men can traipse around impregnating women left and right and leave it to the state the take care of them. In fact, one man on this sub claims that is his strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:28 PM
15

And men don't serve men in China, Saudi Arabia, or Senegal? Don't men serve men in literally every country on Earth? In the USA, our commander in chief is and always has been male.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:26 PM
2

Not to mention all the narratives people tell themselves in general. Women rarely give a specific reason for rejection, so it's easy to assume she's shallow when there's a million other possible reasons for her to say no.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:22 PM
12

Aren't the majority of red pill followers young men who have limited experience though? There's an alarming number of teens pulled into the pipeline, so at best it's a laser focus on immature women that allow any of the narratives to resonate. But let's face it, most people, men and women both, are immature, regardless of age. So I guess it makes sense if you want an immature woman...
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 06:20 PM
1

Nope, try again. I have a Master of Science in a bio field and I can assure you humans are definitely not that simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:15 PM
1

With the end game of manipulating someone into sex with you? Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:14 PM
2

Working on it is literally changing yourself. So my self-conscious ass cannot be "yourself", because it's not attractive. Nope it's actually about reconnecting with your authentic self under all the trauma and conditioning.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:12 PM
-1

I've never heard a man called out for trying too hard at therapy, but okay...
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:31 AM
11

How many is many? My understanding is that people tend to marry within their respective economic and social class.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:30 AM
4

instead most choose to denigrate such men Yeah, the world is full of bullies of all ages and kinda sucks that way. I absolutely agree this should be less socially acceptable, but all I can do is call it out when I encounter it. not bad luck, not childhood abuse or trauma, not lousy genetics, not mental illness, or whatever I was with you til here. None of this precludes anyone from relationships. It probably takes extra work, and that's unfair, but that's also life. It's not your fault, but it i…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:10 AM
1

Is getting your feelings hurt equivalent to sexual assault now?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 04:53 AM
1

men are less likely to create artificial drama than women. No, they are just less likely to get others involved. Demanding you prove you're not cheating based on nothing but his suspicion, threatening to harm you or himself if you leave, demanding you change clothes, it's all artificial drama.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 04:52 AM
3

Giving a guy your drink is a huge sign of trust. Women are taught to never trust their drink with a stranger. Many women as others to watch their drink if they have to step away, and only someone they trust. I don't see how this is a neg?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 04:46 AM
4

there is no way women REMOTELY engage in controlling behavior like this as much as men. Really? Why not? I have met as many terrible women as terrible men. They manifest differently sometimes, but both men and women can be controlling. In fact, I'd say the controlling wife is just as much if not more of a trope than the controlling husband, for the past few decades at least. Sadly, in most places, coercive control is still not recognized as the abuse it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 04:43 AM
28

That grocery store job used to come with a pension, but I digress... Do you have any sources other than vibes?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 11:51 PM
2

Except I'm not blue pilled. Call me purple if you really want to slap a label on it. I gave very specific advice. Ask for what you want. How is this being unsympathetic? There is no quick easy solution to being in a happy and healthy relationship. It's hard work. There is a quick and easy solution to sex though. You are correct that I cannot perceive the question you are asking me. Could you please clarify it? I would also love to hear how you are so in tune with the experiences of trying to dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 11:03 PM
1

You don't. You just be your genuine self. You don't "get a woman" to do anything, and that mentality is your problem. Stop trying to trick her into spending time with you. I know you kids hate this advice, but put yourself in a situation where you are interacting with women regularly. A co-ed sport, a class, a weekly open mic night, whatever. Be yourself. If you start crushing on someone, tell her. Respect her answer whatever it may be. If people don't like spending time with you, it's worth dig…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 10:35 PM
-2

If that's all they want from her? Yeah. They should be honest about their intentions. If they are seeking a relationship, they should be honest about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 10:31 PM
–

Men find peace and happiness internally. They do not seek external validation, and happiness, nor do they have the core belief that happiness relies on external factors. I wish more men did this. I wish more people did this. I think this sub is evidence that few men feel secure without external validation. They would be a lot better off if they focused on finding peace and happiness internally rather that trying to gamify dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 10:15 PM
–

99% of women people never take accountability for their own action and blame their problems on the world FTFY
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 10:09 PM
4

Natural leader is the absolute biggest lie I've ever heard in life. I have never met someone who is a natural leader or I feel inclined to follow. Really? That's wild. I am famous for not knowing how to read a room, blame the AuDHD, but I stumble upon natural leaders all the time. I know a drag queen who is handsome and charismatic and is the center of attention in almost any social situation, regardless of if he's dolled up or not. People like listening to him. Probably somewhat the halo effect…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 09:59 PM
1

I thought of it more as that guy who doesn't speak up a lot but always has something insightful or meaningful to say when he does. He commands respect and authority by being level headed, measured, and thoughtful. Also see: Daddy energy
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 09:49 PM
4

If other bald/short guys are able to find conpanionship, then certainly there is something else setting these guys apart than just their appearance. I'm fat, most men don't want to date me. I don't blame men for being shallow. I say "oh well, those aren't the right guys for me" and focus on the people without that preference. If someone isn't having success, it's ultimately their fault. They are not mentally healthy enough to connect with people or are not putting themself in the right environme…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 08:39 PM
3

Feminism is a movement promoted by women (at least in narrative), they changed society through this action. And a majority of MEN passed every piece of feminist legislation, so who are you really mad at? Who actually pulled the levers that changed the precious "social fabric"?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 07:11 PM
3

These all go past advice. There’s always a clear placement of blame on the man as to any failure with women bring his responsibility. Sounds like this is what YOU are reading into it. What I normally see is a guy trying to blame women being shallow because they are short/bald whatever and a bunch of people debating that point by acknowledging short/bald guys happily in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 07:05 PM
1

Could you name the type of negative outcome you are talking about? I don't know what a negative dating outcome is beside being with a shitty partner? Is rejection considered a negative outcome? I think of it more as neutral. Single is the default neutral state, not a negative state, until you get the outcome of a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 07:00 PM
1

By being authentic and genuine. If you like her, tell her. No tricks or special skills required.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 06:36 PM
0

they're complaining about never getting a chance to show off their authentic self No one needs "a chance" to show off their authentic self, they just do it. Give YOURSELF the chance. Join a sport, a class, a hobby group, whatever interests you and be yourself there. Be yourself with a bit of professional polish at work. Be yourself as you go about your day. This is how you meet people on your wavelength, by putting your true self out there. And for the love of all that is holy, please be your tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 05:53 PM
1

One of the best parts about living abroad was people attributing my 'tism as just cultural differences, lol
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:49 PM
–

Also interested in what goes on in women's minds when they put their bf in these situations. To be clear, the video you posted is a woman being publicly assaulted and you are trying to blame that situation on her and say she caused it? What goes on in a woman's mind is "I'm being assaulted!" I actually kissed another boy at a party my bf was at withe me one time in high school. It was my gay best friend and we didn't want to be bothered and thought it would be funny and get people to leave us al…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:45 PM
1

The "patterns" red pill points out are demonstrably false. Like it has been conclusively shown that the "vast majority of women clustering around a top, small minority of men" is total bullshit, yet it gets repeated like fact anyway Exactly? Desirable people are desired, in other news water is wet. Like I get it, almost everyone wants to be hot, men and women. The top echalon of both gets lots of attention for no good reason other than being attractive. What does that have to do with average peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:20 PM
3

Build self love first and foremost. Get to know who you really are and what you really value. Get in a healthy headspace where you are aware of your flaws, work to counter them, but give yourself grace in the process. Don't put on a mask, be who you are, that beautiful flawed true self.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:17 PM
0

In my core, i am introverted, shy and rather self-concious Introverted sure, that's an immutable trait, but self-conscious? You think you doomed to that for life and couldn't possibly work on it? If you are being self conscious you are filtering words and actions through how you think they will be perceived. That's the opposite of being yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:15 PM
0

I actually genuinely agree with this. Everyone has a unique combination of identities and experiences. It's silly to think there is one right way. Gotta find out what works for you in your particular circumstances and adapt to your environment in a healthy and authentic way. That will look different for each individual.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 04:07 PM
5

A lot of it comes down to being kind to others and yourself while being aware of situations and how you’re treated and learning when to exit them. So much this.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 12:35 AM
3

Points 1-5 apply to many people in my dating pool and I'm 36. I don't run into kids a lot honestly, though I'm open to them. A lot of people never heal their childhood trauma. My mother in her seventies certainly hasn't. Do what you can to heal yourself and find others who catch your healing vibes. Those are the ones worth dealing with.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 12:33 AM
2

This is funny because I'm in a lot of queer spaces and I hear this compatibility issue mentioned all the time without being gendered. Whether it's a same-sex couple with mismatched libidos or an allo-ace couple trying to make things work. Every individual has to decide how important sex is in their relationship. If it's higher up in your personal priorities, you should search for someone who matches that and be proactive in making time and space for physical intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 09:40 PM
4

And this often flips as people age, especially with hormonal treatment being offered to more and more menopausal women. Even if your libidos match in your youth, there's no guarantee that will last a lifetime. It probably won't.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 09:34 PM
0

You are both generalizing situations that are possible, but there's plenty of other possible reasons too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 09:19 PM
–

Queer women: 8.5% Queer men: 4.7% Close to three in 10 Gen Z women, 28.5%, identify as LGBTQ+, compared with 10.6% of Gen Z men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 04:37 PM
1

If you lack social skills and have a negative life outcome you are screwed. Luckily your life outcome isn't determined in your twenties. Y'all act like you're dead by 25. I checked out around 25. Spent a decade working on myself. I've still mostly been single, but boy am I happier and more sociable now. And I'm making better connections with people of all stripes too. So you're in a rough spot? Time to start digging yourself out. It's hard work but worth it. Check out r/selflove and Self Compass…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 04:31 PM
0

The contrast between this comment and the top comment is astounding. We're doing alright vs everything is broken
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 04:27 PM
–

Yes, according to a recent Gallup study, women are more likely than men to identify as queer: https://news.gallup.com/poll/611864/lgbtq-identification.aspx
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 04:20 PM
3

Not every pregnancy is healthy or safe, even planned ones. Abortion is a form of medical care.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 03:44 PM
–

Not the men I date, luckily. Why would any girl be flattered by your attention if you give it away to anyone with a pulse?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 10:33 PM
–

So those men should date different women if they aren't happy with their experiences. I stopped dating men who expect sex early. It's up to each of us to enforce our own boundaries of what we will tolerate in a relationship. That goes for men, women, and everybody else. I would be fine on the receiving end because I think getting to know each other emotionally is much more meaningful than smashing our nasty bits together. I don't mind if the guys I date are physically exclusive with me, so I'm n…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 09:38 PM
–

Luckily the men I date are just as interested in getting to know me on a deeper level, otherwise I wouldn't be going out with them in the first place. Also, ain't nobody out here spending thousands of dollars on me. I split or offer to pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 09:35 PM
-5

So stop talking to women like that. I don't know any women like that so I don't understand how you guys are constantly surrounded by them. Being cishet must be exhausting...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 09:33 PM
–

Not the same woman? I know a few women who have had vacation flings, but most women I know have never done that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 06:58 PM
–

That look would actually go hard with some platform creepers. Kinda rockabilly vibe.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 06:52 PM
–

TUK is another place to get platform creepers.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 06:51 PM
–

Forever? I would wait forever for the right person, but I know I'm an oddball.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 06:45 PM
–

One reason I prefer dating bi men. I'm general, they seem like they aren't nearly as turnd off by my assertiveness as straight guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 06:43 PM
–

Tell that to my super flirty 5'4" friend who does great with the ladies...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 06:41 PM
–

Find people who's interactions don't leave you feeling this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 06:39 PM
–

Well, I don't have the time or energy to focus on guys who are just looking for quick sex so this works out for me. I don't wanna date guys I'm not on the same wavelength as anyways. If you feel like spending time getting to know each other is a waste, you are not my type.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 06:37 PM
5

But do you pay attention to the difference between women who sleep with those guys and women who don't? Just because Chad will always have a line of women doesn't mean every woman wants Chad.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 06:25 PM
–

Well good thing I'm only dating one guy then, and he's free to do what he wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 06:01 PM
–

Well, as an outlier who seems to have skipped getting those specific genes, outliers are all that is relevant to me. Seeing how many on this sub identify on the spectrum, I'd be willing to bet the median isn't as applicable around here as you'd think.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 04:32 PM
–

Sexual attraction is what I lack, which is generally considered to be sexual desire towards a certain person. I also lack libido so it is easy to conflate the two, but the lack of sexual attraction is what makes me asexual. Luckily I can still feel romantic, aesthetic, sensual, and other kinds of attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 04:30 PM
–

Only when people make sweeping claims like "every healthy person feels this way." I actually like sex. Can be fun with the right person. But there are plenty of very normal people out there who happen to lack a sex drive and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that either.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 03:51 PM
–

Maybe. More like date 12 for me if we are on a weekly cadence, but you're right, could be more. It's what works for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 03:49 PM
–

Actually, it usually takes me about three months to decide to sleep with someone, sometimes more, usually not less. Glad they don't follow your arbitrary timeline. I'm always very upfront about my expectations and the fact that my heart moves slow. I'm not a naturally trusting person.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 03:33 PM
–

Let's say one time in college, she hooked up with a guy on date two who then ghosted her. Is she now required for the rest of her life to sleep with every man by date two, or does she have some leeway to learn from her experience and vet better next time?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 03:29 PM
–

Oh, so I'm unhealthy because I'm asexual now? Doctors say I'm fine, I'll take their word over yours, thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 03:28 PM
–

In reality your average chick is running a roster and getting tons of attention. No, the "average chick" does not have a roster. You are once again confusing the women you chase with the average woman. The average woman is overweight.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 03:13 PM
–

If she always puts out early in the dating process, I think the idea is that she racks up a body count quickly that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 03:04 PM
–

Hey, it's me! Trust me, these guys aren't into me. Apparently blowjobs are even more intimate and sluttier somehow...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 03:03 PM
–

You didn't present this as an opinion though, you presented this as fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 03:01 PM
–

Months is a very reasonable time frame. You often see the view around here that she must sleep with you on date one, two, or definitely three if you let it get that far. Three is probably my absolute minimum. Months is reasonable though.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 02:58 PM
–

I can't be sure without getting to know him. If I'm not allowed to date him until I'm ready to be physical, how do I get to know him in order to feel comfortable with physical intimacy?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 02:55 PM
–

Outliers are all that's relevant. We are mostly out here looking for our outlier.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 02:54 PM
0

Women really don't want this to happen tho despite how gay friendly many claim to be There are the straight women who go to drag shows weekly, and then there are straight women who go to drag shows once for a bachelorette party.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 12:47 AM
7

I do like hearing from actual trans ppl so I can judge for myself not by propaganda. Not the person you are replying to, but this is a refreshing take here. My experiences as a non-binary trans panromantic asexual are generally disregarded for being "too minority an experience to be relatable." I think dating both men and women while identifying as neither gives me a unique perspective on dating dynamics.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 12:41 AM
1

You are far too young to give up. I can't promise you things will get better, but I am in my 30s and I will say people care less about these things as you get older. I highly recommend the book Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff. Helped me a lot with my self confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 07:40 PM
2

I would make some assumptions about you based on my other guy friends in this position. I would assume that you have low self esteem that prevents you from pursuing what you want. I don't know if it's true, but this would be my honest assumption based on guys I know like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 07:12 PM
3

As a romantic asexual, I can absolutely refute this notion. I've been in romantic relationships both with and without sex, and each of those romantic relationships was still distinct from my friendships. More time just the two of us. Deeper bond. There's much more to romance than just sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 07:00 PM
–

You know what's funny? My sister walks around the house in bike shorts and a sports bra then throws on a tshirt over it if she has to go somewhere. She is either a really rare type, or you just happen to notice scantily clad women more than covered up women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 04:15 PM
–

Pee is sterile, so what makes this gross?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 03:54 PM
–

This is what I always say! I literally hold his manhood between my teeth. What's degrading about that?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 03:53 PM
–

It's called CompHet or compulsory heterosexuality. This is the idea that society makes it much more convenient to be straight than gay, putting social pressure on individuals to identify as straight. Internalized homophobia is very real.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 03:51 PM
–

I'm asexual but I love sucking dick. Honestly don't know what to tell you about these folks...
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 03:49 PM
–

I can feel your poor mental health seething through your writing. That's what's holding you back, friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 11:16 PM
1

But we can't even agree on what success is. Is it getting laid? Getting a partner? Being happy? These are all different types of relationship success depending on who you ask.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 09:56 PM
1

Sure. My personal rule? I'm only open to anal with someone who also receives. Bi, into pegging, whatever, you just have to be willing to receive if you are planning to dish out. Only seems fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 06:53 PM
2

You obviously don't understand the kink community if you think munches are cringe. If I'm going to trust someone to potentially consentually harm me, I want to get to know them a bit in a low stress environment first. That's exactly what munches are for.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 06:50 PM
-3

I love being asexual. I am perfectly capable of romantically bonding with or without sexual activity. There are dozens of us!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 05:03 PM
0

Yes, and what causes you to fall in love with each other? The reasons are as infinitely diverse as humankind.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 05:00 PM
2

So there's no room for changing libidos in your relationship? Many people's libidos change as they age, men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 11:20 PM
1

I literally make creative data visualizations like this for a living. But I'm a tomboy 🤷
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 10:22 PM
2

I actually think you are spot on. People sabotage themselves in all sorts of ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 10:16 PM
1

True, but you can still cultivate compassion and self love without those things. I've done it. It is hard work challenging your negative self talk and it takes a lot of practice to get it right, but it's wonderful when you do. Also, finding the right med has been pretty rad...
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 10:15 PM
1

As someone who frequents drag shows and hangs out often with crossdressers, I was just really disappointed with his outfits. Like, I was promised a fabulous crossdressing conservative and all I got was a regular dude in a tshirt smuggling melons.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 10:13 PM
3

I think this is healthier than people who stay in deeply dysfunctional relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 10:06 PM
2

Scheduling can be traumatic for the low libido partner as it causes sex to be another obligation on the to do list rather than a romantic, meaningful activity. It can be done, open and honest communication with plenty of room to reschedule is needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 06:00 PM
1

Absolutely. For me, meeting in person is important before establishing anything serious. But also, the way I date makes it easy to weed out the fakers. I basically do the opposite of conventional advice. I talk about salary, religion, kids, politics, etc all up front. I lead with some of my worst tendencies and never put on a front. This makes it easy to spot people who aren't real. They aren't good at telling embarrassing stories about themselves and love bombing gives me the ick. But I'm a fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 07:29 PM
5

I think dating sucks for everyone these days. Apps are not designed for finding love and in person interaction has waned. We all need more socialization and less time online.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 06:22 PM
1

Guys, gals, enby pals. I'm loooking for a life partner, not a quick fix. Building that type of connection takes intention and time. I have broad horizons because I'm not looking for convenient, I'm looking for real. Not afraid of LDR at all. I've had some great experiences with distance.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 04:28 PM
1

Online dating is a place for single people to congregate and meet each other get their money extracted by Match Group. FTFY
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 02:58 PM
2

I'm so glad the people I date don't follow any of these arbitrary rules or timeframes.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 02:56 PM
3

Nope, the way you do it sounds perfect to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 02:53 PM
1

There's no way to exchange getting to know a woman not interested in you into a date; she either likes you or she doesn't. And if she likes you, you don't need to be friends first. Depends on the person and how they experience attraction. Everyone is different. I honestly don't know if I like someone or not until I've known them like 1-3 months minimum. Last person I dated, it took me 6 months after meeting to figure out I had a crush.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 02:52 PM
1

I haven't struggled with this even online. I'm up front about wanting to talk a lot before we meet. Usually that progresses from texting to phone calls. Sexting can keep things spicy in that early stage, but I'm looking for a real connection, not just attraction. I'm too busy to waste my time meeting everyone attracted to me, and I am unable to filter based on looks because I can be physically attracted to almost any body depending who is in it - my desire is 100% responsive. I need some way to …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 02:46 PM
–

That's what freaks do, dude. They aren't just freaks in clean, comfortable, sterile environments. Speak for yourself. But yeah, my hygienic tendencies definitely aren't shared by my fellow freaks 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 04:03 AM
1

Third spaces are drying up for men Third spaces are drying up for everyone. I do give a shit. I'm incredibly empathetic to the lonely young men and women out there. Doesn't mean I have to agree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 12:32 AM
1

https://aibm.org/research/male-loneliness-and-isolation-what-the-data-shows/ Overall, there appears to be much more of a class gap (as measured by education level) than a gender gap in loneliness and isolation.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 10:50 PM
1

I have never had a man enforce "gender norms" on me, if he did I would just tell him to "fuck off." You have never in your life heard a man tell another man "that's gay"? You and I have lived very different lives...
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 10:47 PM
1

You are not wrong but you also reminded me why I'm lucky to have the friends that I do. We go out to comedy shows and concerts and happy hours. We hike and take fun trips together. Sometimes we just grab a frisbee and volleyball and go have a park day. Yes, it's more politics and work and kids talk these days, but we are always making fun new memories together!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 10:44 PM
2

Men's only private clubs still exist. Locker rooms still exist. Sports teams are still gendered. Try again.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 10:41 PM
2

I literally did that. I was a Peace Corps volunteer. I pulled all my water from a well and washed my clothes by hand in three buckets under a mango tree, no washboard though. Built a wood fire outside to cook my dinners. Swept multiple times a day to keep the critters out, etc. I still don't have machines that do all the work for me. It still takes time to load/unload the dishwasher, prep and fold the laundry, vaccuuming is about as much work as sweeping, and I mop my tile which I didn't have to…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 08:39 PM
10

Same goes for men who keep paying. Choose better.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 08:07 PM
4

I do. I got a check from my an airline thing and took all my friends out to a fancy meal. When a friend can't afford the cruise we all chip in just for the pleasure of having fun with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 08:06 PM
13

Because men are out there are lying and telling them that it'll be mutually pleasurable.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 08:04 PM
5

Can you please tell me where I find these machines that do all the housework for me?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 08:03 PM
6

Yeah, leave the bi guys for me!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 03:33 PM
2

All the women who picked bear, implied that all men are inherently worse than a predatory interaction most of them are too ignorant to understand. You talked to EVERY SINGLE WOMAN who chose bear and got their reasoning? Didn't think so. Of all the women that I've talked to about this, nearly every one gave the same reasoning: bear belong in the woods, seeing one wouldn't be surprising, I'm prepared for that possibility when I'm alone in the woods. You are making up their reasoning, saying it's i…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 01:28 AM
5

A lot of the problems women report, if you reversed them, wouldn't be problems for men. Absolutely this. I have a bi friend who turned off men on his "interested in matching with" category because he said it was overwhelming. Getting 100 likes a week, many from people who have nothing in common with you or are well outside your age range, isn't as flattering as most guys think. It doesn't feel like anyone actually wants YOU, it feels like they want you to be their placeholder.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 06:14 PM
–

And why are some people successful when other people with similar life experiences fail? Because of coping mechanisms.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 04:00 PM
–

Its what happens outside that make guys turn to the manoshpere. Not even close. It's what happens inside your mind that makes guys turn to the Manosphere. It's easier that taking a cold hard look at yourself and coping with your trauma.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 07:28 AM
0

Please reference the source you used for this definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 07:26 AM
3

Most guys are invisible to most females that are decently attractive. Okay, so the only valuable people in society are attractive women and nothing else counts. Good to know. a real situation not hypothetical. After women have their fun they want the “real man.” I'm sure these people exist, but is this really the standard for every attractice woman out there? Do you have any stats on this? Most women have single N body counts, do they not? The women I know who sleep around tend to keep doing so,…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 02:51 PM
2

I'm pretty confident that a plain Jane will get far more interest from men than a plain Bob will get from women. Because men are more likely to indiscriminately swipe than women. And we're supposed to feel flattered?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 02:42 PM
4

There are average men everywhere. Who will give a woman the world. Go get her a guy working a regular job. Nope, he’s invisible to the world unless he is a winner. A winner is attractive and rich or just rich. Are they really invisible if most of them are in relationships? And is there an actual specific woman he would give the world to? Or are we supposed to be flattered that he'd let just about anyone be the stand in for "my woman." Or is it a hypothetical woman he would give the world to but …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 02:35 PM
1

"it's not your fault but it is your responsibility"
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 07:49 AM
-1

This right here. If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 11:27 PM
0

They aren't authentic though. They have a joyful child inside who they have buried under years of resentment. Reconnecting with that joyful inner child is how you get authenticity, not from being a sour puss. How do I know? I was a depressed and resentful sour puss for years where I thought I was being "authentic" but really I was just a bitch. I worked on myself, cultivated self love, reconnected with who I truly am not who the stress of living in this world turned me into, and it's a beautiful…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 11:22 PM
0

You mean like <10% of men right? Because most men have sex and relationships. What is it red pillers always say? Stay in your league, or something like that. If you are exclusively attracted to people who don't find you attractive, you are the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 11:07 PM
10

Piqué and Shakira, Jay-Z and Beyonce...
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 10:32 PM
2

Strongly disagree. I always appreciate being asked before the first kiss.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 07:08 PM
1

That's what YOU decided women were saying about man vs bear whereas I'm telling you what I actually heard women say irl about this exact scenario. You are putting words in their mouth and then criticizing them for things they didn't say. It's a strawman.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 06:46 PM
1

You said yourself you'd make the same generalization. A strange bear in the woods is less scary than a strange man in the woods to anyone. You already explained why.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 06:13 PM
1

I used to think this was normal too. It is NOT part of being in a relationship with men but it is a part of being in a relationship with bad men. Get out!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 02:31 PM
3

Men understand that a bear is dangerous but it’s a predictable kind of danger. You avoid it, you don’t provoke it, and in most cases it leaves you alone. That’s very different from saying a random man is more dangerous overall. This exactly what every female friend of mine said when this discussion went around. Y'all are giving the least charitable interpretation of conversations YOU WEREN'T EVEN A PART OF.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 07:00 AM
5

Because the original argument wasn’t “would you trust a stranger in the woods,” it was framing men broadly as the threat. That's not true, that's just how RP chose to characterize it to make women look worse. The question was always "if you came across a random man or a random bear in the woods which situation would be scarier?" I honestly think most men would also choose the bear.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 06:18 AM
2

Hello? I'm alright. This seems more like a DM....
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 05:46 AM
12

Not who you are replying to, but depends on the man. Some people want to explore the fantasy without establishing boundaries first. I don't trust those guys. But I'm the kink community, people are generally better with respecting negotiation and limits.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 06:21 PM
5

But does every other man seeking a woman not face those other factors as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 10:19 PM
6

That sounds incredibly dramatic. What is your evidence for this "collapse"?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 10:13 PM
1

Lol JFC everyone who struggles must be an incel or incel "adjacent". Where did I say this? And you're objectively obtuse if you take issue with the claim men like sex lol. It's objectively obtuse to assume that among billions of people that variance doesn't exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 07:02 PM
0

Well, if you are not a catch, why are you expecting to be caught? I agree that most incels or adjacent groups are mostly depressed with low self esteem and that holds them back more than anything. They could absolutely use more empathy, but blaming their personal problems on half the population rather than taking any personal accountability makes it difficult to talk to these folks. We all like sex This is an objectively false statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 06:06 PM
3

So when it's a man saying he's a catch but just can't get a woman you believe him implicitly, but when it's hundreds of women telling you their experiences, it must be made up, right? My dad, a man with many man friends, certainly believed this. He taught me "all men are dogs, even me." Luckily, I've been able to prove him wrong, but it's still a minority of men I've interacted with in amy sort of romantic capacity.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 04:51 PM
3

How are men in more danger on dates or in their homes than women? Do women not also face dangers while driving?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 04:16 PM
8

No. Empathy is not pie. If I give some to men there is not less empathy for women to go around. I have enough empathy for both.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 04:14 PM
2

Women don't need dating apps, they just wake up and live life and have options. Most men can't do that. Most men are in relationships. Most married couples still met outside of OLD. Many many men are living life and finding options. And no, 50-75% of men aren't Chads.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 04:10 PM
2

This is absurd. I talk to dudes all the time. In line at the pharmacy, at work, on the street. I just complimented a guy on his Futurama t-shirt the other day.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 04:01 PM
1

Well said.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 03:59 PM
3

Then can you explain what this comment means please? Only men from a high league are going to get that chance. Because it sounds like you mean only certain men get this treatment, but then you turn around an say any man can get this treatment.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 05:24 PM
8

You didn't say "men you view as valuable," you said "men from a high league." Quit shifting the goalpoasts. A 5'4" band geek is no one's definition of "high league."
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 04:58 PM
6

No, I thought he was my friend. He was still and undergrad while I was in grad school. Unless you count playing tuba as a high value skill, he was a pretty average dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 04:36 PM
4

Nope, I've been pumped and dumped by a 5'4" band geek who I even spent over a year getting to know before he pulled this move. He later admitted it was his intention to lead me on to thinking he wanted a relationship when he knew he didn't and it was wrong of him to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 04:19 PM
1

Top gymnasts are getting older as we let women grow up and show us what they can do.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 05:07 AM
5

200% this. It's either thongs or boyshorts for me these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 04:54 AM
0

Or he's good at something artistic, or because he's passionate about a cause, or because he has an adorable laugh, or for a million other reasons. Be someone worth swooning over.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 04:52 AM
1

I've only met two people irl from OLD. Neither were terrible experiences. Had good convo with the first and went on a few dates but neither of us asked for another so that just fizzled out. Next one evolved into a FWB and a good friend at that. I've talked to a lot more people but I move slowly so I usually like to do a couple of calls to see if we vibe before meeting up. Most conversations don't go anywhere, lots of ghosting, but I don't take it personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 07:41 PM
1

And double texting. My friends rag on me for double texting but what they don't know is that if I think of something else I'll even triple text. I give no fucks about the rules!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 07:27 PM
1

Usually it doesn't click for me until we are talking, but yeah, it's pretty obvious when it happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 07:27 PM
2

And double texting. My friends rag on me for double texting but what they don't know is that if I think of something else I'll even triple text. I give no fucks about the rules!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 07:26 PM
1

I've made much better connections on Reddit than OLD. Also, rarely irl.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 07:21 PM
2

Being able to explain complicated concepts in simplified language is the highest form of understanding. If you can't simplify, you don't understand it well enough yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 07:16 PM
4

2/9 in my experience, so far less than 50%
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 06:44 PM
–

I had feelings originally but he didn't which is how we ended up in this situation. My feelings evaporated once I knew they weren't reciporicated and now I wingman for him when we go out. I hope both of us find our forever people, but it's not each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 08:20 PM
–

I dunno, I'm going on 6 months with my first FWB and neither of us seem to be catching feelings. It's just a bro I can watch videos with and who's dick I get to suck. Nothing more to it than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 08:00 PM
2

The real issue with "just be confident" is that confidence is not a switch you flip in your brain with some effort, it's a muscle trained by positive reinforcement and has a very significant genetic foundation as well, more precisely natural neuroticism levels. I disagree with the first statement. Yes, you can flip that switch with some amount of effort. Your environment and genetics will set the baseline, but with hard work, anyone can find confidence. I am hella neurrotic with a brain that con…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 11:45 PM
2

An interesting observation with an N=1, but my dad was tall, played guitar, had good hair, was super charismatic, and generally people of all ages just loved being around him. When he, rightfully, left my mom, he fucked around with a bunch of hot young blonde because he could. But once he got that desire out of his system, he started dating women his own age. He ended up settling down with a woman older than him and stayed with her through her severe illness and eventual death. He could have cho…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 03:25 PM
6

My conservative traditional grandpa left my grandma for his hot young secretary.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 03:19 PM
3

The idea that the red pill somehow coined the term normie is insane. Counterculture folks have been calling everyone else normies for a long long time.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 01:06 AM
2

I have to do all of this too.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 11:55 PM
1

I do not enjoy dates unless I know the person. Otherwise, it feels like a job interview. Stressful.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 11:54 PM
7

Senegal. Two women who got married while I lived there were imprisoned along with everyone who attended the wedding.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 10:23 PM
2

Just another reason it's more fun to date bi guys than straight guys...
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 10:21 PM
2

I'm hella neurrotic, but not about monogamy. We exist :)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 10:19 PM
5

I'm a sexual minority who doesn't have a gender, AMA!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 10:17 PM
3

Masc4masc and femme4femme labels exist because of the default assumption towards masc/femme pairings. Tell me you don't know anything about lesbian culture without telling me you don't know anything about lesbian culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 10:16 PM
5

I do it for rugby. Helps me mix up my activity when I'm sick of the same dumbbell/barbell routine. Bless the cable machines! Also great for core stuff!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:14 PM
5

When I go to the gym women are almost exclusively doing gluten exercises What gym are you going to? I see women all over my gym doing every kind of exercise. Also, women typically have stronger lower bodies than upper bodies, so they can do more reps with their glutes that biceps in general. Also, I play rugby, so I train my lower body a lot. How do you know these women aren't athletes doinng these exercises to be morw competitive? Sounds like you are assuming their individual reasoning.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:01 PM
4

You asked a concrete question, essentially can a short guy experience female desire, and I answered it and you just didn't like my answer so now you are making a straw man out of my answer. Cool. Here's some more anecdotal evidence: My hottest most desirable female friend is married to and head over heels for a guy that is 5'6".
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 03:39 PM
0

you don't know how many that started offline is due AA/BB You don't know how many that started ONLINE is due to AF?/BB. Do you have any stats showing this is more prevalent offline than online?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 03:37 PM
2

Just trying to explain what the graph is actually showing for our fellow readers, not trying to argue with you 💜
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 03:33 PM
1

Nope, your right, wrong comment
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 03:32 PM
3

How does this comment relate to anything I said? And I don't read romance...
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 03:32 PM
0

Not with that attitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 03:28 PM
5

If tinder existed There's your problem, pretending Tinder is the real world. Plenty of couples still get started offline.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 03:22 PM
1

Prediction interval across studies includes 0, meaning with these results there is no strong indication that height affects lifetime partners. Even going by the effects models, there's maybe a 5% difference. So not a huge effect if anything. Based on this analysis, there's a 99% chance that height correspends to bewteen 6% less and 13% more lifetime partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 03:19 PM
1

How much mental work have you done? Do you really love and accept yourself, but have compassion for yourself and others? Or are you still blaming a nebulous group for not magically fulfilling your wishes?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 03:16 PM
3

The biggest male slut I've ever known was 5'4". He had no issues taking women home from random bars nor getting into relationships with attractive women. He was confident and a sharp dresser though...
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 03:13 PM
3

So for me as someone who's mom was abusive, I've allowed myself to heal by having compassion for her and how she was raised. She was really doing her best then only way she knew how. She also struggled with mental illness at a time when your family would just hide you away to avoid stigma, and that's exactly what they did to her. I now love and accept my mom for who she is and the way she was raised. I also enforce my own boundaries with her now. Those two facts completely changed our relationsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 03:11 PM
3

There's a Criminal Minds episode where this is the basis of the plot
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 03:07 AM
–

Best only led to a FWB, no relationships from OLD. Worst is either the 20 year old guys obviously mad swiping (I'm in my 30s) or the "lesbians" who forget to mention their husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 06:52 PM
–

I've never once felt burning desire in my entire life. Makes it hard to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 06:49 PM
–

Even with my intentions set to "life partner," I still get plenty of casuals clogging up my Hinge.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 06:47 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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