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overachiever856 Archive

View 7 posts and 41 comments by overachiever856 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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15

You shouldn't have to guess why he's mad. The FDS way of approaching this is IF he brings something up to you, you discuss it. If he is mad, he's stonewalling you rather than discussing it with you. Which is a red flag. I don't think he is. Sounds like love bombing to me and I highly suggest you distract yourself with something or someone else ASAP. If he wanted to message you, he would.
/r/askFDS11/08/21 08:17 PM
12

Me too! 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 06:56 AM
33

It's so hard coming out of the fog. Ignorance is bliss, and enlightenment is terrifying at first. I'm in the same boat, I've realised that way more than I care to admit of my sexual experiences have been inappropriate from the age of 14. Factor in an emotionally abusive mother, who had me believing I was going to grow up to be an alcoholic just like her from the age of 5, and there's a shit ton of shit to work through. My therapist has told me when I've cried to her about how I've been abused in…
/r/askFDS07/08/21 06:07 AM
12

This makes me sick. I'd rather be alone forever than deal with that shit. Not to mention, her kids are seeing this I'm assuming, what standards is she setting for her daughters or sons?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 10:35 PM
25

Suffocation is how I've described this feeling. My ex husband actually had the audacity to say "why would you want to talk about something that upsets me?" when I begged him to talk about my traumatic birth experience. Zero regard for how I felt, just a blatant statement of how dare you ask for anything emotional from me. That statement was one of the only ones I got. Mostly I was stonewalled, ignored, called a hurricane, storm in a teacup. For months I believed I was the problem, how could it b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:50 PM
42

Tough love is best. "I cannot continue to watch your boyfriend treat you like trash. It's now affecting me as you have tolerated him calling me names for showing that I care about you. When you are ready to leave him I will be there for you, but until then I think we should limit our contact." This is a lot of work for you and energy that she is not appreciating. Best you can do is focus on yourself, find friends that align to your values and be there to pick her up when she falls.
/r/askFDS01/08/21 10:57 AM
67

I would suggest engaging in mindfulness activities (I use the headspace app and smiling mind apps). They can really help you learn how to redirect your thoughts, without judging yourself harshly. The other thing is, even though he obviously had his mask slip since you've blocked and deleted him (well done!!), there must have been things about him that you liked. So try and separate those qualities from the actual person. Write down the things you liked, and picture them as being qualities of a f…
/r/askFDS31/07/21 10:47 PM
139

I'm not sure it's true. I'm in Australia and the biggest demographic at risk of homelessness are women over 55. Having been sahm and then divorced by husbands looking for a newer, younger woman to marry. Homeless women suffer extreme abuse. It doesnt surprise me that you saw more men, women are probably hiding and too scared to be seen by other homeless men who may present a threat once the food trucks go home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 06:24 AM
32

Glad you learned from it. Next step: block and delete - no more social media lurking! Kudos!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 03:22 AM
16

I've been on the apps for a month or so. Went on one date that was ok but not worth pursuing. Deleted. Deleted. Deleted. After reading this post. I'm going to give myself a gold star for not sleeping with anyone from the app, and also for finding better things to do with my time from now on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 09:07 PM
10

It's so hard to let go of the idea of love when you're young. We are so conditioned to believe our worth is determined by the attention of other men. Well done for realising you deserve more, you might not be able to go back but our younger selves are still part of us to take care of and you're doing a great job of taking care of her. ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:35 AM
1

Recognise when you're losing control and have a plan. For me it's gym, swim or phone my friend who specifically will talk me out of acting out. Then chocolate and netflix.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 04:07 AM
3

I don't know any, they've dropped out of my life and I've let them go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 04:03 AM
2

I'm proud for getting out and recognising how unhappy I was. I wouldn't change a thing because I love my son so much. Here's to my killer 30's! 🍾🍾
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 04:02 AM
2

I'm glad I could help on your journey. Blocking your FWB is a huge step and you should be so proud of yourself for making that change. You deserve commitment and love when sharing your body with someone else. ❤❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 04:00 AM
33

I love this - my body is valuable and precious! ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 06:57 AM
67

I am!! I'm so proud of myself and for the first time I'm feeling validation in the form of self respect - I had opportunities to sleep with men and chose NOT to. This kind of validation for myself in being able to say no lasts way longer than the few minutes of mediocre sex with strangers I used to settle for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 06:56 AM
24

It doesn't matter what the relationship was or wasn't, he still hurt you. He used you as a comforter just in case things didn't work out with other girls he was chasing. Ew.
/r/askFDS27/05/21 03:45 AM
3

Oh man. The level of anger you just portrayed on my behalf is more than he EVER did. Thank you, internet stranger. ❤ I've had therapy and the hospital gave me a written apology after setting up an appointment after my complaint. An appointment I went to on my own. Because he didn't think it was important enough to attend with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 12:47 AM
80

Toxic positivity is my new favourite phrase. I was NEVER allowed to be upset. Not even after a traumatic birth; I should have been grateful for a healthy baby. I spent MONTHS feeling like there was something wrong with me because i couldn't just 'get over' birth trauma.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 07:46 AM
50

None of the 'issues' you mentioned are your problem. Yes he is gaslighting you. Youve been so good to him, that in 13yrs the only issue he has is that he once shook your exs hand? You need to leave him. He is making you feel like a bad person when you have done NOTHING wrong. To the point youre posting on reddit asking if you are in the wrong because you accidentally were in the same restaurant as your ex once? NO. You have not done anything wrong and you deserve better.
/r/askFDS16/05/21 07:27 PM
5

I think you know that this man isn't treating you fairly and that's what made you post here. Listen to your gut. Make a plan to leave.
/r/askFDS14/05/21 04:47 PM
4

Lol fries. I'm Australian. We just say chips 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 05:28 PM
24

I split with my ex. I got to sleep in on mothers day and not pick my son up til 2, we got some chips and hung out in the park. Was wayyyy better than all my friends who were like, my husband got me nothing, I still had to clean, husband too hungover to watch the kids, husband forgot. Fuck that. I'd rather a sleep in any day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 11:05 AM
42

My biggest regret. I didn't take my xh last name so felt I should follow tradition at least for his son. Our marriage broke down over his lack of appreciation for the birth trauma my body went through. Irony.
/r/askFDS09/05/21 09:52 PM
1

Haha hence why I suggested just the song! This one is awesome
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 01:45 AM
10

This. Also if there is anything she's interested in, a sport, or reading or drawing or music encourage it to the Max! If she doesn't encourage her to try something. Having an interest to focus on outside of boys would help a lot.
/r/askFDS28/04/21 09:38 PM
5

Lol, I told him it was the grossest dick I've ever seen. He actually said 'fuck you bitch, it's not that bad!' Lmao what an insecure POS. That sucks. I'm glad I've realised this is now a red flag. I'll have to watch out for it in this context, an easy way to be like, see ya later dickwad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 01:02 PM
27

Introduce her to this sub. Then have a sogladhesgone party!
/r/askFDS28/04/21 06:08 AM
13

We need a If he says this or uses this emoji then dump him thread to add to the handbook. Haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 05:37 AM
15

HAHA. I can't believe I ever let my insecurities and self doubt overwhelm me from this phrase. You're right. It's utterly meaningless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 05:12 AM
119

I'm ashamed to say I've always been the pursuer. Pathetic. Let them chase, or I'll be forever alone (sounds amazing to me!) haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 04:37 AM
51

Practising your dumping LVM skills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 04:07 AM
71

Apparently she asked him how he could prepare food while stepping over her shit. He just said 'door dash'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 02:12 AM
22

Oh my god!! I have been actively telling people that I felt suffocated by my stbxh persistent positive outlook on life. Now I know there's an actual description to why I felt so unbelievably distressed by his constant 'why can't you look at the positive side?'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 01:42 AM
55

I agree! I've felt shamed for voicing my opinion after hearing this phrase. And now I'm angry for having it used against me. I felt uncomfortable with it because I felt dismissed, unheard and diminished into the 'crazy' girl category. If he doesn't care enough to listen and understand why I'm upset about something then BYE BYE MOFO you are not worth my time. I'm allowed to have a voice and if you want to silence it then get out of my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 01:29 AM
7

Thanks for all the messages. I'm fine, and he's no longer in my life. It's my warning that even the loveliest of men can end up shit. Always be on alert.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 08:49 PM
2

Agreed. Now to continue reading 'women who love too much' to remind myself that pain isn't love. (another thing I'm doing inspired by this sub). This sub is saving my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 05:26 AM
4

As sad as it is to admit, at 29 I experienced my first sexual experience that didn't involve coercion or some sort of abuse disguised as a kink. He asked me if it was OK. And I thought I was in love. That's how low my standards have been. What even is good sex?!?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 02:56 AM
13

This inspired me to block a dick that has been breadcrumbing me. He ghosted me after I told him I missed him. Then liked all my activity on strava. Block. Blocked mother fucker. BLOCKEDDDDDDDD. lol Good for you! (and good for me!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 02:09 AM
1

A guy came up to me to ask for the time. He was wearing a watch. The Fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 06:31 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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