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View 1 posts and 159 comments by overit_af on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
21

SEEKING ADVICEoverit_af/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:44 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
66

LMAO! They sure are. Though I’d love if this became a thing. 🥸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/22 08:58 PM
45

This is a great post! Number 6 does seriously spin my head around tho… what to do if you’re looking for a professional dude (any professional; high status; good pay) who is the age of 40+? It seems like there is a often the indication that if you don’t secure a HVM early on then he’s actually not likely to be a HVM—barring very special circumstances. So, doesn’t this reinforce the idea of “the wall” and lack mentality? (You have to find a HVM soon or someone else will snatch them up!) Is FDS sug…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 05:37 PM
310

“You stay with a man for exactly as long as he’s treating you like a Queen, and you dump him the second he raises a red flag.” 💫 I wish I knew this when I was younger, because this is the ONLY way to relationship; but best believe I’m teaching my daughters this. This is such a solid post. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/22 03:13 PM
72

Orrrr. They have a pretty decent front photo and the rest are ICK… plus, yes the garbage profiles. I agree with most of OP’s points, but I don’t match with someone unless I like the entire profile (all of 15 seconds time investment to scope that out). ETA: I also never match with someone who can’t fill out basic info on a profile and just have photos. EETA: I also don’t swipe. They message me; if the message looks good, I check out their profile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/22 12:49 PM
69

This man is my ex. 🥲
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/22 03:00 AM
54

This is so important to grasp as this behavior is rampant on these apps. As soon as you see #1, unmatch/block…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/22 03:47 PM
77

This is the best mindset to have. These people (men or women) who play these games are just looking for an insecure person to continue/escalate it with (likely to control). No reason to entertain these people by playing their low EQ/IQ games.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 01:18 PM
350

And SO cringy embarrassing for them! Like… do they have any shame? *obviously no
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 06:54 PM
28

Solid point that there’s just as much power in this mindset. Love that you love to be you. ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/22 12:00 PM
18

Haha! Yes I totally see this in texting once off apps! Definitely would be a bad sign. I think I was confused by the insinuation that this was an app convo—in which case I refuse to do back and forth or rapid fire. Slow and at my own pace until they ask me to do a video chat or phone call. Back and forth is only something I do once I’ve vetted beyond the app.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 11:06 PM
65

Right?! Like dude on left clearly doesn’t have any similar lifestyle habits to me (showers, grooms self, eats well, exercises regularly, takes pride in appearance) whereas dude on right does. I don’t care what your hobbies are if those baseline qualities are not present.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 08:56 PM
10

Yes! I definitely think you have to have texting chemistry. I’m good with texting continually back and forth once I’ve established more than an acquaintance with you—but it’s not an all the time thing. The thing that drives me to next the guys on apps who want prompt responses and dedicated time to “chat” (besides them just assuming I want to do such a thing at the exact time of matching) is that they are most often trying to establish a quick back and forth under the guise of a “connection” to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 06:26 PM
12

I see what you mean. It’s definitely people by people and needs/preferences based—and totally agree I don’t deal with filler responses or no plans. Not worth it to me to expend my energy on someone who is not 100% there. If we’re on an app though, I don’t put much stock into it at all. This is only after we’ve moved past video chat screening and to Google voice texting. Though, just as an example, I have kids and stuff comes up (a lot) so there’s never a guarantee I can reply right away when I g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 05:43 PM
91

Are you saying that if you’re texting a man and he waits 5 minutes before replying, you end it there? I prefer to take my own time texting/chatting on apps and feel way too much pressure to engage with someone back and forth continuously if I don’t know them. I def prefer to send a short paragraph or so when I have a chance—in reality, when a guy expects me to answer right away, I take that as a sign to bounce. In fact, recently a man dm’d me asking “when’s a good time to catch you on this app?”…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 03:48 PM
8

This is so interesting! I never made the connect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 06:17 PM
30

I totally agree with you about it really being about your approach. LVM are EVERYWHERE and HVM are RARE. So, no matter where you are, you will have the same ratio to work with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 12:27 AM
220

I have a good friend who met her husband on Tinder and they seem quite happy—just had a beautiful baby and are thriving in parenthood. I’ve never used Tinder because I can’t get past the assumption/bias that if you’re on there, you’re looking for casual dates/hookups—which isn’t something I’ve ever been interested in. I do use OLD though because I’m a picky af introvert who works from home and is not in my 20s-30s anymore (so less chance for meeting singles out and about). But! I’m always surpri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/22 09:42 PM
53

100% with you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 05:24 PM
152

I totally agree with a man paying as the bare minimum of showing interest. But I caution the advice that if you expect a man to pay, you weed out all of the terrible examples of men listed above. MANY men will wear a mask of chivalry but are total asshats underneath. I’ve never paid for a date in my life or even gone 50/50, but many of those turned out to be total LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/22 05:10 PM
5

YES!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 04:02 AM
15

At what point do all the delusional men realize that nobody gives a fuck about dating them? When they’re mid 40s and screaming into 20 something OF womens’ DMs about their loneliness? At 50 when they’re screaming into “the Facebook”? At 60 when they are screaming at their nurse? Make it make sense. Scrote PSA: This is not the way. Y’all gone die alone with your pixels and even stupider than you are now. They all out here shooting themselves in the foot every damn day and night and I’m LOVING it.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 03:59 AM
10

Thank you. You’re right! Grateful for that. 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 02:24 PM
28

Yea! It does suck. I just experienced this and I’m honestly surprised by my feelings. I guess it stings a bit but it’s been a few days so the sting is mostly gone. He really did have me thinking he was an okay dude for the first two dates, he initiated regularly, super polite always, very complimentary and communicative in a consistent way. But, then during and especially after date three (after knowing him just a month) his mask slipped. The negging and future faking started to show. Also he st…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 12:43 PM
16

Yes! The men I’ve known who are in IT aren’t savvy coders. They’re like tech support for companies and may run the backend of the clients database/website. Theres a difference in my mind between being in IT, and being an engineer or developer. Or owning your own software company. There’s a shitton of IT guys where I am. They’re mostly all broke and LV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 05:22 PM
60

From my experience, IT is a very blanket term. In my city in the US, it def depends on the company and your management level… not whether you’re in IT. $40k (which is not high income for where I live and will barely allow you to scrape by) to $150k is a pretty standard range.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 01:44 PM
9

I like this. ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/22 03:06 PM
13

You’re super composed with this… props to you for that. But yea, definitely cut her off. I’m guessing this isn’t the first boundary (which seems like a serious understatement) of yours that she’s crossed. Sending hugs 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 12:49 PM
601

I’m sorry Whatttttt!?? Block and delete this “friend”. 😵
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 02:56 PM
54

Omg yes. I just cut off a looooong time friend who is one of the most condescending people I’ve ever known. She’s also an incredibly insecure woman with a long list of narcissist qualities. As I’ve leveled up this year, between the lines of her fake niceness/mirroring + backhanded compliments, It’s always “I’m so proud of you, hon! You’ve really come a long way” Fuck off. You’re not allowed to tell me how proud you are of me when every other effort of yours was intended to bring me down and make…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/22 01:58 PM
8

I did it with 3 kids… (lots of people including my ex assumed I wouldnt for the reason you describe—those people are no longer in my life) and were all thriving compared to life married to and tethered to my ex. I’m sure I’m not an anomaly considering many other women who’ve done the same. Yea, It fucked me financially for a while, and for a small amount of time emotionally… but I’ve climbed out in just over a year and am way better for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 12:03 AM
31

Agree. What’s to even entertain at this point? It’s over. There’s always better options than “working things out” with lying, manipulative people. Her and the kids are better off without his loser ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 04:34 PM
37

I’m in my early 40s and yes, I sure do come across a LOT of pick-me type people of all ages. I was one because I was raised to be one. Even my own mother and my older sisters are still this way. My ex best friend (who I just booted out of my life) is hella toxic and I didn’t even realize it until this past year. For me it took realizing that I had these awful low self esteem tendencies, then I could see clearly enough to cut enablers (all my toxic/pickme friends that I gathered in my lifetime wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 06:01 PM
2

Ugh I’m sorry that is your experience; and thank you, I’m definitely trying! It really is telling when they mention their desperation in past encounters. That’s a big word with a lot of creepy feels behind it when coming out of a typical man’s mouth. 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/22 02:47 AM
13

THIS!!!! I 100% agree. 🎯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 02:24 PM
11

In hindsight—hundreds. I was coming out of a 10+ year shitty relationship and my self esteem was in the gutter. My ex prior to this one was attractive, overtly narcissistic, and very very sexually charged. So, in effect, I sought out the opposite and got my last covert narcissist nv ex. Some off the top of my head: He mentioned on our third or so date about a bad experience he had with a woman who he met up with. He said “I was desperate for sex and so I met up with her…” then he went on to insu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 02:17 PM
53

Oh man! That just jiggled loose another memory. One time he got drunk at a party and was trying to join in a convo with me and my girlfriends (he was a painfully awkward covert narc) and his story he shared sounded like a fucked up encounter at a sex party. That was definitely a “file it away for later use” moment for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 03:08 PM
67

Trust your intuition, sis. I was floored when I found out everything, but I was not at all surprised, pathetically. I too theorized about a lot that turned out to be the truth—and that was just the tip of this man’s seriously deranged iceberg.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 03:06 PM
255

This is a very important aspect to consider. I had an embarrassingly terrible sex life with my nvex; it actually started okay (like meh, but I was exhausted from my over ambitious/loved sex more than life itself ex prior to him) but soon morphed into him actually closing his eyes tightly and covering his face during sex. I’m conventionally hot af, btw. And he is absolutely and tragically not hot—Never was, never will be. It was so fucking brutal to my self esteem 🤡when this switch happened… whic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 01:43 PM
102

Yes! It’s totally insane. Flip the script: “You wouldn’t want to date me if you knew I was married/totally sterile/can actually move my limbs but don’t want to do housework/have an onlyfans/ lied about my enormous amount of debt/actually don’t go to work during the day but instead to my boyfriend’s house where we laugh at your stupidity….” Or, or! Let’s say it’s for your job. Imagine saying to your boss when HR discovers you’ve been lying about your credentials “You wouldn’t have hired me if you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 01:07 AM
21

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 02:21 PM
48

It’s wild how similar these fuckers are. It’s also HILARIOUS because as we women collectively wake up, they all will be left standing around lookin a fool. All they’ll have left are those memories of the “nice” one who got away (aka the one who was either too ambivalent or too freaked out to speak up and instead just bailed).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 12:02 AM
79

Right! They’re seriously deranged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 07:35 PM
239

I think it’s all of the above. That was my nv ex’s biggest “gotcha” when I told him I wanted a divorce after finding mountains of evidence he was a huge liar and even more evidence of all of his embarrassing truths. “I should have married someone nicer”. He said. Lmfao you fucking idiot. You confused “nice” with “brain dead”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 07:32 PM
533

LMAO. They really out here thinking they’re the prize. 🤗🤭🤣 I’m sure this dude is really pressed with all his “sorting” of ladies. 🥲
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 06:52 PM
54

This is where I struggle. All hvm and hvw aren’t compatible with one another. Do I wanna commit a good portion of my free time outside of my work and kids to someone who simply checks a few boxes and isn’t an obvious loser? Nope. They would have to be super special and enjoy spending their free time in a similar way I do (camping, fancy dinners, hiking, traveling, and being around nature and animals) or else it would not be a fun relationship for either of us. The odds of finding a handful of me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 04:20 AM
363

The article is trash but the real story comes from the comments section. We’re collectively waking up! FDS FTW
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 08:39 PM
20

Right back atcha! It’s so crazy when you realize it, right? My enlightenment of her true self came from cutting out my last nv ex and then another shitty friend… and when I had space to breathe and level up, I was like—holy shit! You SUCK too! 😭 Ugh. Society really does gaslight us to just take abuse. It’s fucked up. Eta: such a solid point that we now have room for better and brighter people to shine in our lives. ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 03:16 AM
43

I could have written this. I did the same with a friend of mine (who sounds just like yours) a few months ago. I haven’t felt so damn FREE in a looooong time. Just as good as when I ditched my NV ex! It is incredible. Congrats, sis. We all deserve the peace that sanity and self love (both from ourselves and our “friends”) bring in our lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/22 02:56 AM
29

Right! At most… and even then the ex’s reaction is probably not as bad/uncalled for as claimed. Chances are the ex put up with a LOT before becoming an ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 09:51 PM
38

It’s so scary and pretty pathetic how they all act the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 09:00 PM
100

I wish #2 was more well known/talked about by women. I fell for it hook, line and sinker with my abusive ex. Every single one of his exes were crazy/abusive (except for the one he dated over 15 years ago who he is still obsessed with: the one that got away—lol 🤢) Ugh. It’s revolting how naive I was in hindsight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 08:56 PM
38

I was just thinking how useful this would be for every major metro area. Social media/social awareness is gonna be the death of these scrotes’ games/lies/ability to attract ANYONE and I’m so here for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 07:24 PM
29

🤣💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 07:33 PM
20

It really is and it can really fuck you up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/22 04:13 PM
119

I 100% agree with you about the needing my own space. This is what I’m after and I don’t care what anyone says about how “realistic” it is. I want (but don’t need) a partner and the right one for me will feel the same about not sharing a household. Anecdotally, I’ve met several couples who operate this way and by all outward appearances seem quite happy. It’s very realistic. 👍💕 Edit to add: I have a lot of preferences/musts that will be a dealbreaker for many—as I hope we all do. We’re not suppo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/22 08:06 PM
55

Agree. It’s so easy to assume that the men who are screeching on Reddit represent most men’s mentality. I do not for one moment believe they do—and we can use this as a vetting strategy. If they’re on Reddit, mention Reddit, quote/subscribe to popular suss subs’ mentality, they get blocked and deleted—luckily, I haven’t come across any men IRL who admit to/show signs of Reddit use. But I’m also very happily single af and not entertaining any men at the moment, so take that fwiw.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/22 09:20 PM
11

Thank you. The support here is so so valuable. 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 10:20 PM
69

Wow. I could have written this except some minor differences in who this person became as an adult. I realize now why I kept flocking to narcissist abusive men as an adult—my “BFF” of 30 years set the stage. I haven’t yet blocked and deleted—I don’t know why. I’m trying to grey rock her, but with her hoovering just amping up, I know that I need to cut the chord—I know it’s the only way. After I found FDS, and took a long look at the men in my life, I realized I needed to take an even harder look…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 08:10 PM
1

🥰 thank you. Me too!! I truly believe this sub is helping to change the world for the better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 06:16 PM
121

Happened exactly to me. I spent many years with an overt narcissist and he was quite good looking and successful—I’d say we were “in the same league”. The relationship was awful as expected and so when we divorced I seriously believed if I lowered my standards super low and just “gave a nice guy a chance” he would treat me amazingly. Well, I did exactly that. I was so far out of his league he asked me “are you in a fog? Why are you with me?” He was unhealthy, had multiple addictions, no long ter…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 05:44 PM
1

Right! I never suspected it in the moment but in hindsight it’s so clear. He painted me as “crazy” to anyone and everyone he could the whole time we were together. That was a blast. Pretty sure his story he told was that he was “single” and then immediately after marriage, he became “separated”. And thank you. It was a huge learning experience (and wake up call!) that led me here, so I’m grateful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/21 01:35 PM
9

Yes girl. Yes!!! 👑🥰. Peaceful is just how it is. So worth it to find that peace.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 02:21 AM
31

This
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 08:17 PM
118

YES!!!!!!! I’ve rid myself of so many users and abusers this past year I’ve lost like 1000 pounds of dead weight. I’m so grateful I FINALLY gained clarity and saw through their shit. They truly are always so confused as why nobody likes them! Or they are a victim of someone who wrongfully discarded/ignored them. 😒 Either way, these emotional vampires can find someone else to drain. Ain’t gonna be me anymore. 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 08:13 PM
56

As an introverted, very particular, very peculiar type of person, my past pickme ass was convinced online dating would set me up with the perfect match. (I could filter!! 🤡 ) What I got was a seriously damaged covert narcissist who played me like a fiddle. And never stopped playing OLD on his phone, even after we were married and had a baby. 😊 This post is spot fucking on. If I don’t meet my perfect man in the wild, in places I enjoy being, then I won’t meet him anywhere. I hate being on the onl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/21 04:29 AM
276

Always obvious. When I was a pickme it was a cringe, but I let it pass. Now—it’s an instant “creep” flag and I would block/save my energy for elsewhere. It’s almost always a tactic for them trying desperately to triangulate you with a random woman. Or they are porn sick af. Either way: get lost creep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 11:56 PM
78

No kids is ideal. If they do they must be fully functioning adults (I don’t want to stepparent) Must enjoy exercise Must earn at least as much as I do (6 figures) Mustn’t be a wimp/whiny/victim complex Must have nice, clean, teeth No best/close friends who are women. Period. No expectations of ever living together (for those wondering why: it would have to be a very very amazing person /situation to disrupt my utter bliss at having my own home decorated and maintained solely by me and my own per…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 08:04 PM
21

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 05:39 PM
87

Yesssss…. I make more on my own (in just a year’s time) as a single mom than when my ex LVM and I had combined incomes. After he moved out, I was able to secure a new job with a pay raise equivalent to my ex’s salary. 🤣 Guess I didn’t need him at ALL. It’s incredible how much a LVM can hold you back. For anyone on the fence… shake the whole damn man off and glow the fuck up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 02:55 AM
52

I agree. It’s an absolutely terrible show—along with the writing, I also think the acting is quite awful. Never understood the hype. ETA: I’m about 20 years older than you and it never appealed to me for the exact reasons you mention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/21 12:03 PM
29

I’ve been married twice-both were more trouble than they were worth. Never will I do it again. I cannot imagine how marriage would benefit me or my kids in any way. I’m interested in the idea of a partner, but it would have to be a parallel type of relationship for it to work. Otherwise, I’ll die single and happy. I will never be a “wife” again by choice. Couldn’t pay me enough to deal with that stress ever again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 10:43 PM
30

You just told the complete story of my last marriage. 👏👏👏 (spoiler: I left. He got mad mad. He’s now sad sad 😢)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 01:59 PM
6

Right. Never worth it because they just want a response. Any attention is good attention… especially from a Queen 👑 ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 03:19 AM
13

This is another good lesson/use for block and delete. Fuck that sub. Let the scrotes all circle jerk themselves into each others’ arms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/21 03:14 AM
26

This is actually art. I love how you curated this beautifully articulated snippet of male suitors in the modern age. 🤔👏 It would be so great if the stars of these incredible examples of LVM in the wild are also on Reddit and (because they are frothing at the mouth incels) see themselves (looking like complete and utter jackasses) on this thread, read our replies, and have a little poopie in their pants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 03:24 AM
65

Yes. When I did online dating that was an instant nope for me. You gonna try and future fake on the first message? Lmfao. Please. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/21 01:46 AM
9

😅🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 03:51 PM
28

Same same! And yes that last addition is dead on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/21 03:16 AM
13

You got this! I can imagine the stress of your situation with your man isn’t helping. You’ve already made a huge step by posting here and questioning whether this is good for you. (It’s not) Reclaim some of that energy and invest it in continuing to work on building up that self love and creating a strong support system of women. It will be so worth it. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 04:06 AM
114

Sis, no matter what you think is holding you back from deserving TRUE honest love that uplifts you in every way, it’s not an issue to someone who is good for you. You are amazing just as you are. Periodt. Don’t sacrifice your potential. Rewrite the script. You are beautiful. You are kind. You are worthy of love. You are awesome. Plus, remember you’ll never be available for a good match to make his move if you’re tied down to this. Anyone who is running away because of who you are aren’t the kind…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 03:37 AM
10

Yes!!! I’ve had/am having the same experience at my current position. I came in last year and already have the most feared executive (because he often shoots everyone—men and women—down very quickly and directly) asking for my advice and calling us a “team” in many many instances. I used to be the equivalent to a carpet: everyone walked over me and I stayed stagnant in my career for years. This attitude shift really is a game changer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/21 05:10 PM
334

Thanks! I was pretty confused at the whole scenario, especially with age gap. This helps…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 12:40 PM
120

Agree. I got narc vibes from the mom being such a victim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 06:07 PM
211

This is where I’m at now, too. I’m thriving on my own. If I meet a great man who is worthy of my time, I don’t wanna uproot that. He can be in my life from a comfortable distance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/21 09:04 PM
48

Fuck yes 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 02:58 AM
35

Yes! One of the weirdest I came across was from a dude who had a much bigger ego than I could have ever been prepared for. His face was fine, his job was fine, the rest of him 🗑 On our third (and last!) date he said to me, “You’re amazing. I can’t believe you exist.” Then after a brief pause, “I deserve this. I earned you. “ Like… 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:59 AM
6

Agree. I’ve been blindsided by people I’ve known for years and years. It’s when we get <really> close do I realize who they really are. It sucks, but time (and noting patterns) is the only way to actually discern if someone is a narcissist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 02:40 AM
54

👆 bingo. Edit to add: we should give zero fucks about whether these lvm ban us from their spaces. We will prosper here. Let them die mad. They are not on our team.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/21 03:59 AM
40

Same. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 12:42 PM
32

“No sis, I’m not intimidating YOU are intimidated” Love this!!! I get annoyed when people tell me my [insert any insecurity of theirs that I excel at] is intimidating. I could never place why but this is it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/21 09:18 PM
70

In my experience this is true. My NVex loved to boast about how he was friends with his exes and “oh what a great guy I am” but he also has zero empathy and several seriously fucked up [hidden] addictions that harm both himself and others. I also have a friend that’s more akin to a relative because of family ties and longevity and more casual holiday encounters than actual “friendship” and she insists on keeping all of her exes as friends (at least those who haven’t cut her out). In this past ye…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 07:12 PM
10

Agree. That’s what I meant by “not a good look”. A little lighthearted but yes, it goes far beyond outward appearances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 09:28 PM
32

It’s. Wild. I truly think porn has fried their brains so so much that they don’t even make sense to those of us with normal functioning brains. Like, at all. This really ain’t gonna be a good look for them as the years keep passing by…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 05:34 PM
57

LOL. 😅 do they actually think this is a threat? To not have our time wasted anymore by losers?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 04:51 PM
18

Me too, sis. ✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 02:13 AM
98

It really does go back to women being objectified. And pickmes falling right into the trap. They play the part of the object [that the man is fucking] and claim empowerment. As an object you can have a lot of people use you to explore their wants and desires… but you aren’t gonna have much say in what happens… let alone exploration. And the likelihood of them giving af about a total stranger’s/object’s wants, needs and likes in a sex session or two—hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 04:28 PM
320

I keep hearing the term “exploring my sexuality” as a reason for casual sex. This seems so whack to me. What are you exploring?!? But I feel exactly as you do. Sex without intimacy is total shit and if you’re convinced you have intimacy with a person you literally just met—😬😬😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 04:15 PM
17

My NV ex was a chef. He was AWFUL to be married to. He was not only a compulsive liar and serial cheat, but he and his chef friends ALL do massive amounts of cocaine and, yes are all alcoholics, as well delusional that they are famous (thanks Instagram) and totally immature. Oh, and they (at least the ones I dug up dirt on—including my ex) love to “hire” “escorts”. Like a lot. And yea he never cooked for me unless you count literally tossing leftovers at me from his restaurant when he came home …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 11:30 PM
18

🙌👑🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 11:13 PM
42

This is a beautifully self-aware response. Thank you. My ex was very very similar. He was wonderful with kids and animals and blah blah blah… but it was all an act that ended moments after the baby came out (not an exaggeration). And the sad reality is that many women do leave the abusive relationship, but custody sharing is still very real. I think compassion for us single moms who didn’t choose this outcome intentionally goes much further than blaming or calling us cruel and selfish (damn 😕). …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 02:11 PM
10

Let’s agree to disagree. I find your blanket judgements quite condescending. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 01:03 PM
17

Right. And you’re ignoring that you can’t ever know how a man is with his own children until he has his own children. Many many men lie. Society gaslights women. And this is why so many women find themselves as single moms. Because the man lied about who he was until the baby came, then the mask dropped. Agency is wonderful and all, but as a group, we’re not there yet. Which is why FDS exists in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 12:57 PM
23

So wait, you recognize those who have children with terrible men have been conditioned and socialized to tolerate and accept ABUSE … but these women are the cruel and selfish ones? Nah sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 12:42 PM
58

Yea I don’t see how one could ever really know this unless you had a child with someone. He can be super nice and rescue animals and volunteer with charities and still become a totally absent father once the baby is born… Nice idea though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 12:33 PM
50

Yes! When this happens I’m thankful that it came out sooner rather than later what a true turd the person is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 01:22 AM
99

This is what gets me the most. I used to watch shows like Mad Men and Sopranos thinking that was the exception, not the norm. This realization is both maddening and humbling…. Because when I was married, that ain’t what I signed up for, but that’s surely what I got. Like a chump. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 09:05 PM
382

Trust your gut. Always. Your intuition is your power… and it’s going haywire for good reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 02:27 AM
52

Right!!! I recall years ago hearing this nonsense about “free meals” on subreddits and being so confused. The main point of eating out with someone is to enjoy the company of that person in a nice and/or fun atmosphere. What they are suggesting is pretty much the same as walking into your favorite restaurant, choosing any random table of people in the restaurant to sit with upon arrival, eating and conversing with said random strangers and expecting them to get the bill. Who on earth would do th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 07:47 PM
83

It’s funny how common this is. I was on the other side of this… I found out my NV ex had been hiding his “best friend” who was an ex gf from me for over two years. I reached out to the ex gf when I found out—thinking she would be shocked to know her best friend was hiding her from me and just kinda compare stories. She was pissed (mostly at me) and told me he was the bestest friend she ever had and “you two” ruined it. I think about it sometimes and only have pure compassion for someone who thin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 11:29 AM
42

She sure does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 02:21 AM
20

100% YES. Happened to me too. Never. Ever. Again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 05:06 PM
30

Omggg laughing so fucking hard at “Rickett’s support group” 😱😂😋 Ty
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 01:37 AM
18

I am sooooo with you fellow INFJ. I’ve been trying to get back in the dating scene since about May and after sifting through so many men (some apps/some real life), most don’t get past the initial greeting stage, many don’t get past the phone call, and all in all I’ve had TWO dates with one man. He showed a couple red flags after date two so blocked and deleted. And I’m approaching exhausted. Haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 01:46 AM
4

❤️ me too! It’s ridiculous, too, that pre-FDS I didn’t even see it. I was definitely a pick-me for friends as well. So glad that old me is dead. 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 12:43 PM
8

Me. I recently got rid of a woman who I thought was my good friend for the past 4 or so years but was most likely orbiting (she’s bi), which is bad enough in itself… but what really made me drop her was the constant negging and negativity. She had major victim mentality and it was draining af. It was clear she was miserable in her own life and I don’t have time nor the mental capacity anymore for that kinda energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 11:50 AM
70

Lol. Just today I was thinking about the plethora of men over 40 (my age range) who wear the whole “never married, no kids” like it’s a badge of honor. Do they think all these ladies are like “00ooOoh, just what I always wanted! An old fuckboi with commitment issues and/or no success with women! 😍” PSA, scrotes: we’re not impressed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 10:10 PM
5

That is really good advice. Thank you so much! 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 04:38 PM
8

Thank you so much for your response. I am so grateful for FDS as I’m trying to navigate the dating scene again after leaving my second LVM marriage and it really does feel like my options are nonexistent as a single mom (the block and delete method has been playing on repeat!). I’ve been celibate/single over a year. Often I do get lonely and would love a cuddle/sex/datenight partner but can’t do casual sex. Luckily, I’m happy in my life, adore the extra time I have with my kids (I swear I have m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 10:55 PM
17

Or he “wants them someday”… which means he wants you to be their mother. I’m in the same boat. I can’t rule out ALL single fathers because I feel like never married no kids in his 40s is far more suspect than being a single dad. Edit: I just noticed that OP specified “young woman in the prime of her life”. And I’m obviously not in that as I’m not young (39) and what many would not consider the “prime of my life”. Though I’m better looking, healthier, wealthier and more educated than I’ve ever be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 06:57 PM
9

Have you ever met the ex wife? It really smells of triangulation to me. And does a man who has to have supervised visitation for multiple years in a public place seem like a good dad to you? If she’s so crazy/awful, why would he not fight for protection of his own kid? Instead he’s like “oh well. I guess once a week in a public park is just fine… for four years. “ 😶 I understand that you’re also not in the US, so things are different—but I hate to ignore that his explanation didn’t sit right wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 04:20 PM
37

Girl—if he’s only seeing his son, since he was a baby, while supervised in a park, I’d say hard pass. Also, the photos of evidence seem a bit suspect to me. Why is the mother in full time care of the son if she’s supposedly so abusive and crazy? Especially if he has proof. I got a bad feeling just reading this, tbh. Trust your gut. If it feels off, it is. Edit to add: why the fuck is he showing you photos of his ex wife’s “abuse” this early in your relationship Or at all?! Yucky yucky manipulati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:49 PM
3

Agree. Wayyyyyy too soon to tell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 12:22 PM
8

It was a combo of my age, my previous relationship with a different variety of LVM and my conditioning to think I “needed a man and therefore must settle” that did it. My first marriage was to an attractive LVM that treated me like absolute shit since day one but lasted 12 years and crushed my sense of self. (Btw, he is no longer attractive at all). So, in some regards I was going for the opposite because I thought it was a safe bet. It was not. I am so grateful for my little baby though and he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 12:24 PM
20

I don’t know you at all but I do know you deserve so much more than silly games! Your time is MONEY. Whether you’re working a career or entertaining anyone in your life... make sure it’s worth it. He might just be using you for the ego boost he’s desperately searching for. Don’t let it happen! Trust that gut girl—the answers are there; this I believe and I wish I trusted mine with my nv ex. 🙈😣🤢 Sending love. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 03:00 AM
42

Thank you 💕💕💕and yep me too. This sub continues to astonish me. No I don’t think you can tell or get results right away. I was going into a lot of check ups while pregnant because I was 38 so considered “geriatric” and in need of extra invasive procedures and check ups. 😐 The whole thing was a shitshow and I am deeply changed from this whole experience. He was committed. He was a chef with a “nice, bubbly, jovial fat man” personality and he cheated on me repeatedly with anyone he could—mostly wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:54 AM
93

Jesus Christ this is my story except mine isn’t scrawny but instead shaped like a t-Rex with a giant gut. The day I found out I had HPV from his?!?!? ass, I was sitting in a Pap smear position while 3-4 months pregnant. I knew then I was done. The doctor knew I was done just by my reaction. I stayed a wholenother clown ass year sorting my shit, gathering evidence and eventually bailed. Sending hugs, sis. 💕 Edit to add: he knew when the doctor said I had HPV that he gave it to me. He looked asham…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 01:57 AM
15

Yea I’ve been chewing on my previous response and I agree with you more than OP on this one too. I get what’re they’re coming from I do, but I’m right there with you about finding it somewhat low value to broadcast and curate your life on social media—no matter what you’re doing/broadcasting. The person I end up with, if other than myself, will also be like this as well. Otherwise we wouldn’t be compatible. It’s okay if you’re into social media and all that... but it isn’t for me and I won’t be …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 03:31 PM
11

That’s true. I admit I have a hard time still with my recovering pickmeisha mindset that we are the same species. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 12:25 PM
71

I don’t have social media either and will never go back, so Id feel hypocritical taking this advice... Social media doesn’t serve me at all and hasn’t for a while. I use Reddit sparingly but pretty much only for this sub. While OP mentions that men can seemingly have a social media free life and then go off secretly posting to red pill forums and such, okay... but I feel like we’d see signs of this as well in the vetting process. As another member posted, their habits have to match their outlook…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 11:49 AM
72

Right there with ya, sis!! Been NVM free since December and LOVING life. The divorce sucked because he threw a man baby fit and fought hard, mainly because I’m positive he thought I’d cave and stay... but it was so worth it. My house is immaculate almost all of the time, I leveled the fuck UP in my career by getting a raise and a promotion, I look and feel better than ever, my kids are happy and healthier all around and best of all—I love myself again. My NV ex definitely would have killed me fr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 12:22 AM
38

This makes so much sense. Welp, I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy knowing the message is getting OUT and we won’t be taking their sorry asses back ever again. 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:47 PM
6

Fair point. 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:37 PM
71

This is interesting and I agree. I did this to my ex NVM when we first got together because I thought it would boost his ego (he played sad sac and I was hella pick me). And of course it went to his head and he cheated and treated me like trash. And yes, I’m way way out of his league and got with him because I thought ugly, pathetic and out of shape meant safe. But I wonder if they experience any shock when they take this confidence boost and try and play the field after the fact? I get that pic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:19 PM
35

Yes! Oh, the countless ‘meh’ faces displaying all their scrotery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 01:43 AM
145

Yes! I was out last weekend at an outdoor bar with some girlfriends and I said “there is not a single man worth my eyeball energy here.” In my pre FDS days I woulda tried to single at least one dude out as “okay” to keep the faith going. They we’re all ugly and frumpy and not at all worth my gaze. And this was at a “hip” bar in a “hip” part of town. 🥲
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 12:59 AM
50

Same with mine. Always spoke very highly and respectfully of his mom... I thought it was a good sign. Turns out my ex husband was exactly like yours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 11:42 PM
38

The body slamming is real 😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 12:58 AM
123

It IS like fingering. Omg. My mind is blown right now. Lol. Society has always made me feel guilty for enjoying bigger girth and then resulted in me giving the smaller guys a chance but it always felt so meh. Sometimes awful. My ex LVM was the smallest I think I was ever with and I just couldn’t get into it at all. Even when I was in control it felt like I was riding a... 👆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 10:54 PM
4

I’m just like you. I’m a professional making 6 figures and no one I work with knows I have several visible arm tattoos because I’m always wearing long sleeves. Never been an issue because I present myself professionally when I need to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 04:55 PM
17

I had the same experience. It’s such a mindfuck isn’t it? I desperately wanted to have the opposite of what I had with my previous partner... and ended up getting burned twice as hard and fast.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 02:19 PM
10

Oh. This is so heartbreaking to read. I’m so happy to read your post because your mama won. As a mom of an 18 month old, I literally have tears rolling down my face.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:34 AM
4

Oh my god the paper plates. Yup.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 04:58 PM
19

It’s amazingly freeing to be a single mom after living with a NVM for so long. The amount of filth that man created alone was something I didn’t even realize until he was gone. I didn’t need a cleaning service—I needed to drop the dirt monster. My house has never looked better and I’m raising a toddler and two older kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 06:52 AM
10

It really does get a bad rap—but I understand why. It’s really hard to face that many of our external problems start/continue from within. Though, when you become accountable for your thoughts, and therefore experiences... watch out! Ultimate level up imho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 10:48 PM
34

This is fucking gold. Everyone read this twice!! I get so tired of my lady friends saying that all men are shit or that HV men don’t exist. If you truly believe it, that’s exactly what you’ll see/get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 08:59 PM
9

Me! Left my LV husband in August 2020 and am shining like never before both in and out. Seriously reborn. I’m a single mom now and so much better for it! I’m super fit, my hair is shining, my mind is clear, my performance at my job is soaring and I’m good being alone because it’s so much less responsibility than being with someone who disrespected my home, my worth and my time. Realized that I had been making most of my decisions based on LVM for the past 20 years. Never again. So grateful for t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 05:42 AM
7

Definitely chefs. My ex LVM showed me that the restaurant industry is rife with this behavior and is very much celebrated. Even when said chef kicked back his schedule after we had a baby, he was cheating on me with woman online and in parking lots—always under the guise of “work” related errands. 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 03:19 AM
3

Yes! I found FDS and Neville Goddard at the same time —really only about a month now—and my whole world has already changed (for the better). Thank you for connecting these two concepts... powerful stuff!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:00 PM
10

Right?? Noticing those little details are so important! Good thing they don’t seem to notice them. Haha. Much easier to weed out. Sorry you had a bummer of a time on video... definitely a good strategy to not waste anymore of your precious time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 04:48 AM
57

Lol! These men and their photos. A few years ago I was seeing a total LVM in disguise. The moment he sent me a picture of his cat who he “was visiting at his parents”, I ended it with him. The cat was in an open windowsill with a lush green summery background out the window. It was in January in Pennsylvania. The parents lived 10 miles away. Do they even use their brains??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 02:32 AM
3

No worries! So I have a degree in Psychology and some background work in publishing as well as art/graphic design. So I got a really an amazing gig as a Content Director—that is based totally online because the content I direct is totally online. 🙃 It was a weird role to fit, but luckily my bizarre combo of experience fit perfectly for what they were looking for. And I absolutely let them know that in the cover letter. You’re at a wonderful spot where you can make a list first of jobs you’d love…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 01:06 AM
42

Yikes! I have a one year old and I cannot even imagine this. How tragically awful and sad. 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 11:58 AM
11

Wow. Can relate to this with all of my exes, but with my last (and final!) LVM, I recall on our second date I was talking about my job where I work from home with flexi hours and great pay and he said “how did YOU get a job like that?” I have a Master’s and he has a trade certificate. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 12:03 PM
3

Oh god. Finally—a word for the terrible phenomenon. It’s so nasty when they walk past (oftentimes you’re seated) and you get a whiff—especially now since even masks don’t mask it. 😖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 10:15 PM
4

Beautifully put! Thank you so much—I’m feeling stronger already. ✨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 04:05 PM
5

Such great advice! Thank you so much. I can definitely see a huge difference between when I give him any attention versus none—he wants me to be miserable and hates when I’m not and wants attention, and hates when he doesn’t get it. It also makes me remain calmer when I don’t interact much with him. This is really helpful, thank you! I’ve been documenting everything I can since separation. The advice to treat every interaction like a boring business interaction is really solid... appreciate your…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:28 PM
2

Ugh how gross. It’s so pathetic how they’ll use their own kids like this. I’m positive shit like this is in my future (in the midst of all that comes with a divorce). Hugs to you and wishes for a speedy recovery. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:51 AM
1

It’s so sad, right? My kids are definitely more prepared for adult life than my ex husband was. As someone who is very hygienic, the reality that some men think this is an okay way to live is absolutely horrifying to me. Don’t even get me started on his dental hygiene...
/r/askFDS30/08/20 05:27 AM
2

Oh. It is.
/r/askFDS30/08/20 01:54 AM
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