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51

Discussionpeach_blossoms_/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 07:22 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Yep, it's self-reported (but most studies of this type are), I think you may have to complete the test (which gives you a comparison between yourself and others) to see the results. Here's the link, it's called the 'gender continuum test'. This is a different set of results based on slightly different metrics also exploring the differences that might exist between men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 11:19 AM
3

I think men and women's brains are programmed differently (a woman's hippocampus, critical to learning and memorization, is larger than a man's and works differently) and biology wise we're different. (We're stronger, taller etc) This is kind of relevant, but I think they did a study on personality traits and thinking patterns more common in men vs. women. They were mostly small differences, and the biggest gap was 'how often they think of sex'. Overall, there were 18 measured metrics like compa…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 10:44 AM
14

I was raised with a belief that a woman has to be able to support herself and any kids she has because a man can lose his job, get sick, cheat on her, leave her or just die. I thought I was just morbid, thinking this way. There's so many things that could happen to a relationship that I need to be secure in the knowledge that I can support myself. No-one wants to think about a situation where their husband suddenly dies, cheats, becomes unable to earn an income - but it's always been an importan…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 06:20 AM
1

I do notice this as well. Is there a particular reason that this happens?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 04:56 AM
3

Its interesting because the Tiktok pretty boys seem to attract way more girls than your typical bodybuilding masculine man who's fanbase is primarily other dudes lol I think this is definitely true for gen Z. Compared to older generations it seems that pretty boys reign supreme for most girls haha I'm sure there are still women in gen Z that like the rugged, masculine look, but now it seems that most young girls prefer the 'pretty boy'. I'm not a fan of a lot of traditionally masculine traits, l…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 03:37 AM
1

Okay, so I'm a young adult that's part of gen Z, and I've definitely noticed a lot of what you're describing. I've had non-binary and gender-fluid friends before back in high school, and they present themselves more androgynously (short hair, shorts instead of skirts - we had a uniform). I also noticed that a lot of my peers are now identifying as something other than heterosexual and cisgender, so this probably plays into their presentation. I'm just cisgender and straight, so I can only commen…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 03:10 AM
1

There's so many different type of women out there that it would be very difficult to generalise. Some girls have daddy issues, and they chase after distant older men. I think most girls tend to date within 5 years of their age range, at least that's what me and my female friends agreed on as an acceptable number (given our youth). There were 16yr old girls that hooked up with 24yr old men in high school, and we found that very creepy. Most people dated within their grade or one above/below. The …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 02:35 AM
1

I hope you don't take what I say as what all women think, haha. I'm a bit of an unusual case so I'm really not sure how helpful it will be in informing your future decisions. They meet your physical requirement, and personality requirement but it still doesn't sexually attract you until they interact with you? If so, could you elaborate on like what type of approach it would have to be, like flirting or something? I can definitely think that someone is physically attractive when I first meet the…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 02:18 AM
1

This is very different for different women. I think that it's more dependent on how they would approach than the difference in personality. For me, there probably isn't a huge difference between personality between a prospective partner vs friend. A lot of women state that they need to be friends with a man before getting into a relationship with them, but I find that's not how I work. I need them to be upfront with their interest instead of trying the friend then relationship route. I've had at…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 05:25 PM
2

I know near nothing about FDS, so I'll answer under automod. Is this 80/20 split in a relationship? As in buying a house, paying for utilities, food, dates etc? That's what I'm going to assume, since it seems like you want a trad wife. I think if you're expecting a woman to do 100% of the house chores while also bringing 20% of the income, that is unrealistic. I would like to be in a 50/50 split household, and I would happily do 1/2 the chores if I'm bringing in half the income. I think it's kin…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 02:11 PM
1

Not necessarily. The 'toppings' would be nice, maybe they would make the overall enjoyment of the dessert higher, but only by a tiny amount. It's not like the 'toppings' don't matter at all, but if everything else is the same, what they add to the sundae overall is mostly negligible. And just to clarify, I was referring to both physical attractiveness and personality beforehand. To be considered by most women, you need to not be very ugly, and have a decent personality. I'd say that intelligence…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 05:57 AM
1

Yeah, of course being physically attractive is a plus, but it's not needed after the threshold. I'm not going to sit here and say that being physically attractive doesn't matter at all, but it's relative importance decreases after the threshold. It's like having two ice cream sundaes, one has more toppings, but both are identical in every other way. My enjoyment of either would not differ significantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 01:40 AM
1

I think everyone will have different anecdotal evidence depending on their own friend group. I'm part of (adult) gen Z and there is definitely a higher proportion of people, especially women, who identify as something other than heterosexual. However, I really don't think that this is 50%, though it might depend on what you'd consider 'bi'. To what extent do women have to be attracted to other women (as well as men) so that they are considered bi? A lot of the things that women do seem to be tak…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 03:18 AM
1

I'd say that I'm into such a wide variety of subjects it would be difficult for a guy to be completely uninteresting. I do have a slight bias toward the STEM based subjects since those are the ones I'm personally interested in. Well, assuming they also have basic human decency I'd probably be attracted to their intelligence. No amount of intelligence or looks is going to make up for a terrible personality (ie. Arrogance and narcissism).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 01:55 AM
1

I'm not who you posed the question to but I'll chip in here (since I don't have a partner). For most women, men still need to meet a basic appearance threshold to be considered a prospective partner (including casual and long-term). However, for me, the extent to which I will find a person attractive is tied to their intelligence. If they are very average looking but very intelligent, then my overall attraction to them will increase. The perceived small physical flaws will kind of fade into the …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 12:08 AM
1

I presume you're asking about how intelligence is tied to physical attractiveness? I've spoken about this before, but I seem to feel less attraction to people than the average woman. It's very difficult for me to become attracted to a stranger regardless of their objective attractiveness. But intelligence is a way to grab my attention, and could lead me to being physically attracted to the person as well. A lot of men on here seem to feel that the physically 'average man' is invisible to most wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 12:04 AM
2

I'm majoring in civil engineering, but I'm interested in most aspects of STEM.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 11:56 PM
11

Intelligence is very difficult to define, because there's IQ and EQ, then everything in between. This is a difficult question to answer, and I suspect there will be quite a bit of difference between every woman's answer. I think most people agree that a desirable partner should at least have an acceptable amount of EQ. They don't need to be super charismatic or anything, but should be able to understand basic social queues. I might be a bit of an unusual case, but I do think that the aforementio…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 04:51 PM
3

Oh man, I can kind of see where the cooking thing comes from. I know that in my family all the meals are prepared by women, though I really don't think they'd be unhappy if the men decided to pitch in with cooking... I sure wouldn't mind. I actually really enjoy cooking/preparing meals and cleaning. This is going to sound really strange, but I never introduce these as my hobbies when I'm around new people, simply because it's almost sacrilegious for a woman to enjoy traditionally 'feminine' thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 10:03 AM
2

Good to hear it doesn't bother you! Developing a habit of sun-protection is probably good for me in the long run since it will prevent premature aging etc. (I guess I just have to see the good in it?) It's just hard to let go of engrained cultural biases, I suppose, I'm still learning to be less bothered by the judgements from my extended family.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 08:01 AM
2

I don't think it's right to discriminate an entire race from my dating pool since it's not something that can be changed. Especially since I've seen people of every race that I personally thought were attractive. Just a clarification that I'm not only attracted to a single race, I guess. Honestly I reckon it might be a 'facial features' thing. Some features I like are attractive on any race, they're just more common in East Asian men.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 07:54 AM
4

Not necessarily. However, I will say that an ugly man doing the same off-putting thing in the same situation as an attractive man will be much more likely deemed 'creepy'. Sometimes the 'creepy' thing being done in the situation is insignificant enough that it could be overlooked past a certain appearance threshold.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 06:24 AM
2

I gotta say, as a 5'2.5' woman, I would definitely choose the 5'8 man over the 6'5 man. I feel like it would be pretty awkward to have a partner that is literally more than a foot taller.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 06:20 AM
1

This has definitely happened a lot for me when I'm online. Maybe some guys aren't used to girls they DM replying, and they misinterpret being nice or friendly for flirting. I watch what I say very carefully so that it can't be interpreted as romantic interest, but it still doesn't work a lot of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/22 06:04 AM
1

I appreciate the thorough response! I am a young adult but I was pretty sheltered during a lot of my development, so there's still a lot I'm naive about. I think some of the things I used to believe (and may still believe to some extent) come from the small echo chamber I grew up in. Some of my friends had women in their lives who had undergone breast augmentations, and it was pretty normalised. Living in a western country while being a minority (east Asian) has also affected the way I tend to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 03:00 PM
5

Haha I thought that I was the only one that felt that way, but maybe since I wasn't attracted to women I wouldn't be able to tell. (Though it's the same for the male pictures for me).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 01:28 AM
4

Well, in my post I was going by the female chart they made in truerateme since I couldn't really find another way of quantifying beauty. I don't agree with a lot of the ratings made in that sub, but here's a quantifiable visual, I guess. I noticed that sub also tended to rate people with Eurocentric features higher than ethnic features, though this isn't necessarily reflected in their reference material. And here's the chart for men. Anyway, I'd say that the vast majority of people have 'average…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 01:16 AM
6

Oh dear, I can't believe I'm actually going to answer this question. For me, there are 2 types. No.1 is where I'm busy and just need to quickly get it over with. Probably takes 5 minutes, don't need to imagine much. Just more a mechanical type of thing. No.2 is when I'm in the mood I guess? I just read some erotica or think about past erotica I've read before. Same process but this time with brain involvement. In those situations it was important for me that the characters had an emotional conne…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 01:06 AM
1

Maybe some women just have ridiculous standards then. There are plenty of people in general who want what they can't have. But as I said, in my age demographic (18-23?) there are plenty of men I think are cute, and wouldn't say no to if I was looking for a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 03:48 PM
2

Oh, she just wanted to give me some suggestions about my hairstyle haha It was one of those rating subs.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 03:24 PM
2

Oh man, not going to comment on the other parts but I do think 1/100 is way too low. Maybe it's because I'm around young adults a lot, given my demographic, but I'd say probably 60% of the men I see, I think are cute.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 03:23 PM
1

The typical vaginal canal tends to be approximately 2-4 inches (5-10cm) when not aroused, and 4-8 inches (10-20cm) when aroused. This means that for a lot of women those extra inches aren't going to do much anyway. Honestly probably wouldn't say much, considering I've got zero experience. But I think I'd be terrified if the dick was too big haha. My view might change eventually if I ever get to sleep with someone, but right now my mind just goes 'if I can barely fit two fingers up there how am I…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 03:06 PM
3

I would not felt any annoyance if he took the first no and left. I wanted to see what other women were describing when they said someone 'couldn't take no for an answer' so I stuck around. Regardless, another guy who tried to turn the convo sexual took the first no, was a little snarky but not rude, and left. That is the best strategy. Finally, given that this wasn't on a dating app (it was on reddit) and I expressed absolutely no sexual or romantic interest, I don't see why the convo had to tur…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 02:53 PM
3

Well, I wasn't really trying to make a point. Just sharing a perspective. Is there a particular point with my post that you take issue with? If so I'd be happy to discuss it. I don't think it's okay to sexually harass anyone, and decent people won't either. There are awful men and awful women out there, but I still don't think they make up the majority. As I've said, I spoke to some nice, polite guys during the experiment and the cases of harassment did not colour what I thought of men in genera…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 02:45 PM
6

Oh man, that sounds kind of sad. I guess I have some semblance of sympathy for him if the situation is as you described. I'm still irked about all the manipulation tactics he tried, though. It was first assurance; 'not a big deal, just some boobs, it's an anonymous account, I won't save it (what a lie oof).' Then begging, including love-bombing; 'you're literally the most attractive woman I've ever seen (cap), please + some explicit description and dick pic'. And finally guilt tripping after I r…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 02:35 PM
2

This is actually pretty surprising to hear haha I thought that if people were going to jerk it to porn it would be of the most attractive person they could find.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 02:23 PM
4

I did everything on a throwaway reddit account. I've had similar experiences on different social media apps that identify my gender (in this experiment, it was my pictures but I usually don't use them on other socials). I have hundreds of unread messages on other socials I haven't used for a few years. I didn't go into detail then despite my curiosity, because I was 16 and really did not want to engage with adult men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 02:13 PM
7

Haha! It was pretty difficult juggling about 4 conversations at the same time, but I guess it's better than the alternative. Most of the guys were pretty nice, I didn't have anyone that just straight up verbally assaulted me so I'm thankful for that. Most of them took no as an answer and were polite. Not that I believe in soul mates, but I'm sure I'll find somebody once I actually decide to start dating. There's just so many options that it would be difficult not to find someone willing to date …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 01:55 PM
4

Oh man... Is that on reddit or dating apps? I didn't think 35 was a preposterous number. I haven't used OLD before so I wouldn't know what an ordinary number was on there. Isn't this down to men being the pursuers in most situations? Honestly I'd be curious to hear about your experiences online (including DMs) as well since I really only have my own to reference.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 01:31 PM
2

Huh, makes sense. Guy that was pestering me for nudes seemed pretty excited by the fact I'd never done it before (he seemed pretty excited about my non-existent sexual history, to be honest...). Feels like telling him 'I've never sent nudes before, and I'm not starting now' became a challenge to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 12:30 PM
4

Women are the same way, but in regards to attention from attractive men. Just consider how an average woman might feel if some attractive guy were into her based upon no real prompting on her part. Many romantic or erotic works are based upon this premise. Ah yes, I see your point. I've read 2 adult romance novels in my teens and I could barely get through them because they were ridiculously unrealistic even at that age. What I got from it is; 'ooh bad boy, but mc will melt his heart', 'wow he's…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 12:25 PM
1

I see you've mentioned 'pear shaped' and 'slim' bodies. Is there a reason you didn't include hourglass? Is it because it is even more rare? I feel like all the media I've grown up with has always emphasised the desirability of hourglass bodies. I think pear-shaped tend to mean slimmer shoulders and smaller breasts, don't most men prefer larger breasts?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 12:16 PM
2

So some men feel like they could be in a sexual relationship with girls 5-6/10 but not with 8-9's, so they pay for content from the former? Does it mean that in this circumstance the attractiveness of the woman does not necessarily translate to more pleasure?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 11:45 AM
3

From what I understood, in many western countries being slim is actually not average. Faces are judged separately (though weight can also affect facial attractiveness, obviously), so a woman could have an average face but having a slim physique will put her 'above average'? Is she judged as a whole (face+body) or are they judged separately and their mean used to determine final attractiveness? The reception of fat/obese women with cute/attractive faces is the ultimate test to determine how open-…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 11:35 AM
6

I feel like it's just nice to have a polite, friendly conversation with someone, even just online. Do you think that this prior interaction will cause extra attachment? The guy that messaged me for a while before turning the conversation sexual could've easily gone online for content instead of containing to beg for it (for 3 hours no less). Does the feeling of 'knowing someone' increase the pleasure in some way? Edit: To clarify, I was asking about the 'attention and intimacy' part of your comm…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 11:18 AM
3

Fair enough. I guess the part I have difficulty understanding is why men are paying for pictures of average women when they could be paying for more attractive women? There's plenty of 8-9/10's that are selling their content, probably for a similar price. I feel like if people are going to pay for content it might as well be top of the line?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 11:12 AM
2

Thanks for the input haha, it's certainly an interesting bit of psychology. I definitely couldn't imagine paying for pics of an average dude online (and tbh, got plenty of free dick pics as is, didn't even have to ask lol).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 09:29 AM
30

Honestly I found it absolutely wild how many guys were willing to pay for 'content' from a very normal looking girl. Two guys even sent me criteria if I wanted to sell pics (and yes, one was about feet). Plenty of others just really wanted a topless photo and would pay for it. There's just... So much free stuff on the internet, so I don't understand why...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 09:08 AM
1

I think single women like the idea of fixing a screwed up guy. I was definitely thinking along these lines, though of course it is not applicable for all women. Some women have the instinct of wanting to 'fix' broken men, further perpetuated by media in the last few decades (and maybe even longer). Even though most people know that's not how it works, there is still the naive desire to change a man for the better through 'love'. In the end, most of these relationships end with both parties worse…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 03:16 AM
2

Haha 😅 you think so? Maybe I will. I can be physically attracted to people though, I just don't think of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 12:51 AM
2

I don't know how to respond to this considering I don't have a sex toy haha I just don't personally feel sexual desire very often or very strongly, defo can't speak for other women though.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 12:38 AM
1

Oh, interesting, I think I get your perspective a bit better now. I think for me, there are men that I acknowledge are attractive, but wouldn't think much past that. Then there are the 'crushes', where I actually feel something, it all sounds pretty cliche when I try to describe it though. It's all 'zoom lens' and fuzzy brain that can't focus on anything else - I feel like I'm having a heart attack when I'm near or touching them. The first guy I liked was all the way back, just about when pubert…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 06:45 AM
5

That's an interesting perspective, especially since it's so different from my own experience. I've literally never thought that I wanted to sleep with someone I just met, no matter how attractive they might be. Most of the time I just acknowledge that they are attractive and never think about it again. I also don't think I've ever wanted to actually sleep with someone since I've only ever liked 3 guys, and the last one was 3 years ago when I was quite young. I haven't 'crushed on' someone since …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 06:06 AM
1

That's a very interesting perspective! I feel like my personal emotional experience is quite different from the other women I've spoken to, and I haven't had that many conversations with men about this topic so I'm trying to learn as much as I can before I start dating. I'm sure that every person is different but it definitely seems that men are less selective than women when it comes to attraction. I've only ever liked 3 guys, and the last one was 3 years ago now (and that crush lasted 2 weeks.…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 06:00 AM
9

Just... Any woman? I'm pretty curious about the thought process (if there is one?) since this seems quite foreign to me. To be fair, I'm quite young so I don't really know a lot of what goes on in the dating world. I can understand if it's a really beautiful woman, but if there's just an average woman walking down the street, do men still want to sleep with them? I don't think I'm ugly, but I don't think I'm particularly beautiful either. The thought that (some) random men who see me want to sle…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 03:21 AM
2

I'm not sure if it's a discernible smell haha. The women wore the shirt for 3 days without washing the shirt, sweaty women is still going to smell like sweaty women - just one is going to be slightly more pleasant for no discernible reason. The researchers believe that it is probably a subconscious thing that evolved in men so they were more attracted to women that were more likely to get pregnant at that point in time (since human women don't show visible signs of ovulation). And supposedly wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 03:42 PM
1

Fair enough. Just wanted to know if men and women felt similarly in relationships where one party is perceived to be 'better'.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 02:57 PM
2

I'm pretty sure everyone's heard of the 'shirt' experiment by now. Men were more attracted to the smell of women who were close to ovulating, or ovulating. Women were attracted to men who had a immune system most different to their own so their offspring will have more genetic diversity. Both make sense. Otherwise it's probably just kind of random?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 02:14 PM
3

Do guys feel insecure if they are dating someone that they think is 'out of their league'? Or are they happy to just live in the moment?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 02:10 PM
1

Well, if you're young then you still have time to work on yourself before attempting to enter a serious relationship. I'd say that it's important not to neglect your relationship if you get into one for the sake of maxing out superficial traits. Most women would probably want a man that takes care of his body and has a decent income, but that is hopefully because they help him be a better, healthier version of himself - rather than just to attract women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 02:03 PM
2

I don't think that wanting to sleep with someone means that you want to have a relationship with them (at least not for everyone). Just like how there are women that men want to sleep with but don't want to be in a relationship with. I'm not saying that you don't have to be attractive if you only want a relationship, or that women enter relationships with men that they don't find attractive (though I'm sure that also happens). I'm saying that focusing all of one's time on the gym or studying/wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 01:49 PM
1

I'm sure there are more things that need to be done around the house. I think it depends on the split of income and time spent at home, though if we have roughly the same income I'd be happy with an equal split. When I eventually get into a relationship where I'm living with someone we can work out the specifics then, I guess. Maybe we could take turns with household chores? Or maybe I can pawn off dishwashing because that is one aspect of cleaning I don't like. But anyway roughly equal house ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 01:04 PM
10

I wouldn't be able to give a percentage or estimate because I don't believe there has been large scale studies on this sort of thing. There will be beautiful women that are willing to financially support their partner but I do think it is definitely the minority. (Also depends on what you define as beautiful...) There are relationships where the man is the house-husband, and they are doing fine. But in the majority of modern partnerships both are working. Within my friend group, I think only the…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 12:37 PM
1

It's going to be very difficult to 'change' height. The most common way would be shoe inserts, or if you're willing to go more extreme, surgery. Most other commenters have mentioned this already. Just keep in mind that human height generally follows the normal distribution curve, that is, the vast majority of people are of a similar height. In the US, the centre of the normal distribution curve for male height is 5'8 - meaning there are 50% of men below this height. It is more difficult for shor…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 11:03 AM
6

Yep. I feel like catering to either extreme won't leave enough time to build a genuine relationship. I think these may only work if the only goal of the man is to sleep with many women, not in building a LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 07:55 AM
2

Thanks for the clarification haha I'm not American so I'm not entirely sure about clothing sizes. Last time I searched up clothing size conversions I think I was a size 6. Definitely wouldn't call myself thin, though - maybe because of my age demographic and country. I think the ancient greeks and romans had it pretty on point, their statues depict a very ideal build and weight IMO (for both men and women). I always thought that the male statues were 'very fit', but the female ones focused more …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 06:36 AM
0

Haha, I think most of them are in relationships already. There was one guy friend that had about 4 ex-girlfriends by the end of high school (and 3 of them were part of my friend group), but I didn't get on that well with him anyway - it was really weird to me how so many of our friends found him attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 04:01 AM
3

Does 'thin' encompass the healthy weight range or just the lower end? When I think of 'thin' I think of runway model levels of skinny, an obvious thigh gap etc. I consider normal weight on a woman to look like the body shape depicted in ancient greek or roman statues (e.g Venus de milo), and I've always thought that was a good weight to be at. I'm probably biased since I have a similar build and weight, but I never considered the Venus statue to be thin.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 03:56 AM
5

There are definitely women that know and manipulate men, but I believe there are plenty of women that don't realise. I didn't know that men could be/were attracted to their female friends at all until my late teens. I see my male friends differently than I would see a romantic prospect, so I didn't even know that it was possible to be attracted to friends (as in, I acknowledge that they are attractive and desirable, but not to me personally). I've also never considered the prospect that any of m…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 03:40 AM
1

This isn't something that I've ever thought of? I also didn't know/realise that men were attracted to their female friends until my late teens. I had an objectively very attractive male friend I was close to years ago (he genuinely had about 6 girls after him at the same time) but I was never attracted to him in that way. (As far as I know he didn't like me in that way either, though one of his friends did...) I treat my male friends basically the same way I treat my female friends (though I hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 12:28 PM
0

I guess it depends on how you define a 'need'. Have you ever heard of or studied Maslow's hierarchy of human needs? It's an interesting theory, and sex is classified as a need in his system. I definitely wouldn't die without sex and I think I could live a completely fulfilling life without it, but I also understand that it is important for many people. I think in terms of relationships, it is an important way to express love and build intimacy. If I was in a relationship with someone and cared a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 06:55 AM
5

I'm glad I'm not alone! I've never had the desire for casual sex, ever. I feel like deciding to have sex with someone requires a level of vulnerability that I'm just unwilling to 'give' in casual relationships haha
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 01:44 AM
1

What if she was sending sexy pictures in DMs to other men, too? Should she also not be expected to stop that? What if she has an OnlyFriends account? Should she be expected to continue that? I think this stuff should probably be talked about before they start a relationship. I obviously don't think continuing to flirt with other men and sending them sexy pictures is okay (unless he's into that, I guess?). I think OF depends on the couple - if they both agree that it can stay up then it's fine. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 01:27 AM
4

I don't really think about this often. I think it's their choice when they are in a relationship, if their partner is not happy with it they should leave - it just shows that they are incompatible. If there is a disconnect between what the woman and her partner believe to be inappropriate, there is likely a mismatch of values which will cause cracks that only worsen with time. If the woman was posting sexy pictures before she entered the relationship and the guy was fine with it, how can he expe…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 03:17 PM
1

I'm pretty sure they did a survey/poll about this quite a while ago on another sub. Here's a link: https://www.reddit.com/r/SampleSize/comments/52w3ne/results_whats_your_ideal_male_body_type/ Of-course it's different for everyone, and the country that people grow up in probably has a large impact on their perception of attractiveness. I find that the east and west have quite different standards for 'masculinity'. If you check out the poll results and the pictures, I'd say that I find 9, then 7 t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 07:47 AM
1

So I'm an atheist, and I don't know much about religious beliefs so take what I say with a grain of salt. I think overall the concept of virginity is overhyped in society (and to be clear, I'm a virgin). Men who are virgins are shamed, women who are virgins are called prudes or sexualised unnecessarily by certain creepy men. If your religious beliefs dictate that the virginity of both parties should be held onto until marriage then I don't see an issue with that, but if a man has had many partne…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 11:54 AM
5

Wait really? 5'3 seems really short, and 170lbs seems really high... I've always been quite self conscious about my height (5'2.5) since I feel way shorter than my friends. Do men have a height requirement?? I also always thought I could stand to lose a few pounds and the heaviest I've ever been is 125lbs...
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 09:21 AM
2

Some of these points I think I've seen across reddit in general and not specifically on this sub. I am pretty curious about the counterpoints and opinions about this topic, though. Most of these seem directed at men so I probably don't have much to say but I have a general view (which is probably quite naïve, given that I'm pretty young and haven't spent time in other people's shoes). I'll put my own opinions here, and I'd be very interested in having a discussion about the different perspective…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 08:41 AM
3

It's not like I'd say it to someone's face if I found their dating preferences weird (especially if I don't know them). I don't think you can equate weight with age but it's your opinion nonetheless. And in this situation I'm assuming that it's a very overweight person dating a fit person, because if both people were of the same calibre then there's nothing wrong. I'd say yes, that's odd, but it's their choice. I couldn't say the same thing about age, because it is a completely different set of …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/22 11:58 AM
9

Yep. I agree with this. At 30 a person should already have a stable job they've been working at for a few years. Most 18 year olds are studying in college with a low-paying, part-time job or just attempting to enter the permanent job market. I always feel a bit weird about large power imbalances in relationships, whether it be age or money. Are there mature 18 year olds and immature 30 year olds? Yeah, but it's not the norm. Most sources agree that the human brain does not stop developing until …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/22 11:32 AM
4

I see nothing wrong with the standards that you listed. I would respect a man tremendously if he had all those qualities, and I would similarly respect a woman equally if she had all those qualities. I don't see anything in what you've listed as unfair for women to be judged by. I do think some of the metrics are difficult to judge, such as 'bravery' - which could mean a variety of things, that is to say, men and women may demonstrate bravery differently. Similarly, men and women could be compet…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/22 11:22 AM
9

3, obviously. I want to be judged fairly and I don't expect the men around me to walk on eggshells just because I'm a woman. However, as many other commenters said, I think empathy is important regardless of gender - help other men, help other women. Many women find it disturbing when a man is a douche to other men but treat women very nice - it's considered a red flag. If you're a douche, then be consistent. If you're a nice person, also be consistent. In a professional setting I would not want…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/22 07:58 AM
2

I don't think that all women have the same view on these things, but I'll give my two cents. It is difficult to tell whether or not choosing a partner is fully due to attraction or pre-programmed biological instincts. Scientists have observed that in many primate species, females are more likely to mate with a 'generous male' (ie. sharing food) as this indicates an ability to procure resources and more importantly - share them with his offspring (this could be equated to wealth in some capacity)…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 11:32 AM
2

I think it's probably highly dependent on the environment, moreso than other factors. I'm not ugly, I'm in shape and I'm a young adult. I just happened to live in a good suburban area for most of my life. The residents were mostly nice old couples, and I had a few neighbours with kids around my age. Most of the time when I walked through the less safe areas of the city, my parents were always with me (you can definitely see my age coming through here...). I think men would probably feel very wei…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 11:12 AM
14

I mean... I've never been catcalled or sexually harassed (unless you count online, but I don't) so I wouldn't really know how to answer this question. Since what I have now is basically the 'trade' described in the post, and I'm fine with it, I guess my answer would be yes? But I never experienced a lot of the harassment many women experience in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/22 05:26 AM
3

I'm single. Mostly because I've never entered the dating market and keep changing my mind about whether or not I want a relationship. At the moment it's probably not. I'm quite young and I spent most of high school working on my grades, I think I might be too busy with college at the moment to try and date.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/22 11:52 PM
3

The general answer to the question would be a no. I don't think all women are 'naturally sapiosexual', and it's difficult to define intelligence in the first place. In my post I'll be using intelligence to refer to 'book-smarts'. I am personally attracted to intelligence, but this is not universal, and I really don't think people care about how smart their hookups are either. I just know that in my life the 'book-smart' men have been more attractive to me. Given my background, I may also have an…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 11:53 PM
1

My sample is probably skewed since I've been around more teenage boys than fully grown men. While I am an adult, I'm still quite young and have spent more time overall around teenagers than adults. I'd assume that most men have learnt to take care of their hygiene after their teenage years (though B.O is still a problem I've encountered in public). What I'd say is hygienic is probably what most other women would point out. B.O, nails, teeth, hair. With regards to OP, I'd say that is good hygiene…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 01:06 AM
13

Oh my god I had the same experience. We weren't camping, we were sleeping in hotels on a trip and one guy wore his socks for 6 days... 6 days. Without even attempting to wash them by hand in the sink (he thought he'd only brought one pair of socks and left the rest at home, he didn't). We were doing a lot of athletic activity on the trip so you know those socks must have stunk to high heaven.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 12:48 AM
1

I have to agree with this post as I've had a similar experience online (from a female perspective), even though I don't use OLD. Most of my profile pictures are not pictures of me, and if it was, it would be a far away picture where I'm not facing the camera. Had literally hundreds of guys in total messaging me over different social media (not even popular sites) even though they didn't know (or barely knew) what I looked like. One of the sites also has an age filter, where you can speak to peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/22 12:34 AM
2

Taking a life isn't exactly easy to do. Also, I watched Bambi when I was a little kid, and I didn't cry once when Bambi's mom died. Same with Mufasa and Littlefoot's mom. I guess I look up to those that can step up when the situation demands it. I haven't ever been in such a situation myself, so I'm really not sure what my reaction would be - but I don't think I'd suddenly become a different person just because of danger (though maybe... if children are involved, the 'mother bear' instinct will …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 01:58 PM
2

As an additional note, I think I would totally die of malnutrition if I was stranded on an island alone. I certainly cannot see the 'current me' killing any animal with an intellect higher than a fish. (Ugh stupid nurturing, doesn't-want-to-hurt-animals-in-any-capacity brain...) I guess I'd have to find a man who is able to hunt animals mercilessly attractive in that situation, though as it stands the thought currently brings about some illogical sadness.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 01:42 PM
2

I have no problem killing pests like cockroaches or rats but I'd say I'm a very non-violent person. If I saw a cockroach I see no reason to push the responsibility of killing it onto my partner, since I'm perfectly capable of it myself. However, I don't think I'd be able to hunt deer (I think I might have trauma from watching Bambi too young haha) or 'shoot a burglar dead' since I'm not a fan of violence. That said, I also wouldn't want my partner to be overly violent or reactive, stoicism in em…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 01:39 PM
9

I'm pretty sure that most women know that romance novels are fantasies, right? I had a phase in high school when I read a lot of romance novels and fantasized about a 'perfect guy' but I've never expected that in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 12:57 AM
6

I agree with this as a female. I don't think it's possible for a person to be 100% boring and uninteresting for 100% of the population. There's bound to be some part of you that someone finds interesting. I'm a STEM nerd, I enjoy reading newly published research papers - would most people find that very boring? Probably, but I like what I like, and I will enjoy similar traits in a partner. I don't think it's healthy to have the mindset that 'I'm boring and uninteresting so no-one will ever like …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/22 12:25 AM
7

Not sure. I'd be pretty hesitant about entering a long-term relationship with a man that has legions more partners than me though (200 seems insane to me... for men or women).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/22 03:12 PM
9

I'd agree with this (except I've never actually tried to find a relationship yet). I think my 'taste' has probably improved with age as some emotional immaturity sought itself out. I'm just... extremely straitlaced (literally never been drunk, even seen a drug in real life, never skipped a single class in hs etc.), 'disciplined' and have pretty firm boundaries so I guess I'd fit into the 'good girl' type. I've never actually liked a 'bad boy', earlier attractions were more shallow (they turned o…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/22 03:06 PM
4

There is a lot of intimate things you can do with someone, but sex is, in my opinion, one of the most intimate things you can do with someone. Sex bonds people together, which is why men or women have the possibility to catch feelings after the deed is done. I personally agree with this sentiment, and most of the women I know personally also do - but this is a skewed sample since we tend to associate with people that have similar values. He brought sex to his girlfriend, because they have been d…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/22 02:51 PM
1

I think everyone has to at least have something interesting and exciting about them, right? Maybe not adrenaline-fueled activities and constantly travelling but there has to be something that they enjoy and are passionate about? It's just the way that you've described the man seems to be selling him short, maybe he is a total nerd about an interest that he has, I'd say that's interesting. Shared interests are important, and I find it difficult to believe that there wouldn't be a single common to…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/22 09:07 AM
2

I think historically there has been a significant link between male virility and masculinity (just like there has been a link between female fertility and femininity) so take that as you will. And as a lot of other commenters have said, I don't think that having a vasectomy will suddenly make tons of women flock to a man. I'd assume there are definitely women who don't want children that would feel safer sleeping with or entering a relationship with a man with a vasectomy, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/22 02:36 AM
2

Haha fair enough, I'd like to think that I could at least tell if someone was uncomfortable since I hate having my personal space invaded as well. Also wouldn't touch them randomly for no reason, too shy for that. It's usually when I'm passing them something so they have plenty of space to draw back.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 02:32 PM
3

I have a brother and my best friend in middle school were men (probably should say 'boys' instead). There were both younger than me and I enjoyed looking after them (even though said best friend was only 6 months younger). I don't really think the experience helped, honestly, at least not in flirting with men. I'm very quiet and reserved so I tend to try and lightly brush against men's hands when the opportunity arises (and I like them). Given that I'm not very talkative in the first place I don…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 02:33 AM
6

Also, I should add that a distinct difference I've been told exists between me (can't speak for other women) and some of the men on this thread may contribute to this. I've never just seen an attractive man walking down the street and thought 'I want to have sex with him' even if I acknowledge that he is objectively attractive. This just doesn't seem to happen for a lot of men? I need to be emotionally invested before my personal sense of 'attraction' occurs. I literally didn't find the first bo…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 02:21 AM
4

Ooh boy I don't want to get flamed for this since I have somewhat traditional views on relationships that probably don't apply to a lot of other women, but I'll try to explain. I want a long-term monogamous relationship, I want to get married and eventually have kids. I think you could probably understand why I wouldn't want to have a kid with some random guy that I 'only have sex with', and I believe that a two-parent household is most beneficial to raising children - mostly because they can re…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 02:12 AM
6

I've actually never thought of this issue before, so I'm actually very curious about your perspective, and totally willing to listen if you want to have a discussion about it. Just from the statistics I have seen before it seems that every race of women receives more attention than the corresponding race of men. Of course I definitely acknowledge the difference in attention between different races, which is disturbing to see but not surprising. It just still seems that men recieve less attention…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 01:30 PM
1

I will admit that a different female friend (also going into med) 'warned' me that I wouldn't be around attractive guys since I was going to study a male-dominated STEM course. I really don't think that perception is correct, at least for me, they just tend to be more introverted (sometimes a little awkward), I think. There are very few guys I've seen that don't seem to take care of their hygiene. It seems more difficult for men in STEM to find a partner in the first place, though, since they ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 06:56 AM
2

I'm a woman studying a STEM degree at the moment and I've met some attractive guys (with good personalities as well) in STEM. A few female friends of mine had the same idea that we would likely marry men in similar majors to our own (she's in medicine) and eventually share the financial responsibilities of the household. Is what you've described a common occurrence? I suppose at the moment I'd fall into the first category but I am starting to look for a relationship. I haven't had the apparent e…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 06:42 AM
2

Ooh boy, I'll try and explain this from my point of view, I haven't actually spoken to someone else who voiced the same opinion so I'm not sure what they would think. I've asked the question to myself multiple times and I have some speculations, I recently read a study that goes more in-depth into the link between hands and facial attractiveness that I could link if you're interested. I think subconsciously the hands give a lot of information about a person, which plays into the biological desir…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 12:09 AM
1

I did specify that if he offered to pay for the first date, then I would appreciate it and would reply in kind on the second date. I guess it's kind of ingrained that men usually pay for the first date, I guess? If he wanted to split I'd be totally fine with that as well, it would just be slightly missing that extra bit of appreciation (I think that most people would appreciate having a meal paid for) but I wouldn't think negatively of it. I'm not a particularly assertive person in some aspects …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 01:53 PM
1

Oh cool, totally understandable, I've just recently decided that I was going to enter the dating game seriously so I'm unsure how it's going to turn out yet. It's great that you found a partner that you're happy with!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 01:15 PM
0

I just wanted to ask a quick question about the first point (paying for the first date). I'm not sure how my own personal opinion differs from the others I've seen and would appreciate some input. I personally would let the man pay for the first date if he offered and I intended on a second date since I would be paying for it. Kind of like 'taking turns', I just think it's a nice thing overall to treat someone (and this is the system I have with my friends). If I didn't intend on a second date I…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 01:07 PM
3

I agree with basically everything you said. Too much muscle is a little intimidating to me, just a personal preference ofc. A handsome face is also preferable to height for me as well. Currently, I have a preference for guys studying STEM, I think maybe it's because I just spend more time overall around guys with STEM degrees (still in college), so I have more interaction with them. I think I still have plenty of time to grow and become more open-minded over the next 4+ years of my STEM degree. …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 12:59 PM
12

I've seen quite a couple of people mention that the situation would be different depending on whether or not the relationship started with the intention of friendship or romantic intentions. If a guy had romantic intentions from the start (and made it clear) then stopped being my friend (or became distant) after the rejection then I would totally understand that, though I think I would have made it clear up front whether or not I was interested so hurtful misunderstandings wouldn't happen. I als…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 02:21 AM
1

Hey, that's cool, good for you! I genuinely enjoy many aspects of STEM though, so I'd like somebody that I could have conversations with about those subjects. If someone works hard in a different and is also interested in STEM conversation topics that would also be totally fine for me. The tldr probably made it seem like I'd only date someone with a STEM degree but there's always nuance. It's just important to me personally that we have similar interests, and STEM is a big one.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 01:08 PM
1

I think the 'college education' req might be a cultural values thing? I grew up in a pretty academically demanding environment so it was kind of always assumed that my partner would also be college-educated. I think I just kind of assumed that a college-educated man with a STEM degree would probably be around the same intellectual level, and that's important to me. If it was someone without a college education, but had a decent job and was also at the same intellectual level that would be fine w…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 12:12 PM
3

Should probably add that these are for long-term relationships or marriage. I don't do hookups and neither do most of my friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 10:37 AM
4

My (female) friends all have vastly different 'standards' for men, so I definitely can't speak for most women, but maybe you'll find my personal opinions interesting. I think that women in different stages of life probably also have different things they're looking for, so again, my opinion only coincides with a very small section of the population. I'll try to be as honest as possible, so it may come off as blunt. I'm a young adult woman currently in college, and a virgin by choice - so take ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 10:34 AM
1

Yep, there definitely seems to be a difference. Though I do think my feelings about sex are outside maybe 1-2 standard deviations of the normal, my female friends definitely expressed more interest in sex than me. During high school, some of the girls around me exhibited an active desire to lose their virginity and enter a sexual relationship, all depends on the person.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 05:39 AM
1

I'm a college-aged woman, and so far I've consciously decided not to enter any relationships, which for me, is mandatory before sex. I've definitely had a few friends raise an eyebrow at my completely empty dating history and apparent disregard for sex, so I guess I'll try to explain my reasons. I think it's different for everyone, and it has been established for a long time that different people have different sex drives - I'm not entirely sure if there is a significant difference between men a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 04:44 AM
2

I don't live in the USA, but I do live in a western country. I think it honestly depends on the demographic because this is not a pattern I've observed around me (though, as a college-aged Asian woman, I've only observed part of the equation). There is a wide variety of Asian women around me, coming from different cultures and having different backgrounds (1st gen, 2nd gen immigrants, international students etc.) and these make them very different people. I don't see a significant difference in …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/22 12:17 PM
2

In my opinion, if withholding sex is more comfortable for you then that is what you should do, instead of setting false expectations for later in the relationship. I believe that communication is key in any relationship, so you should be upfront about your expectations and discuss them with your partner. From a personal standpoint, I am a slightly left-leaning, atheist, college-age woman and I would not be comfortable with beginning a sexual relationship until I've evaluated my relationship comp…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/22 11:49 AM
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