| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 173 | Setting standards for male friends | LESSON LEARNED | peekingoverthewall | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 06:25 AM |
| 91 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLD | STRATEGY | peekingoverthewall | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 02:14 AM |
| 1 | My personal list of ‘Naa’ phrases | STRATEGY | peekingoverthewall | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/20 10:25 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 10 | Setting standards for male friendsYeah that’s what I meant, I did a huge disservice to myself by continuing to be friends with him at the time. Happy to report that he is out of my life 🙌 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 10:15 PM |
| 3 | I mean...isn’t it obvious?! Grandpa is gna show up.Omfg that sounds terrifying and also reminds me of a similar proposition from a dude!! He said ‘Sorry I’d make dinner for you but my landlord’s family is visiting, how about we meet up here?’ And sent me a pin for a location in the middle of a frikkin FOREST right near San Diego Then he shifted gears to ‘okay how about I drive over and we can hang out in my car’ I actually said ‘oh right so the evening news can read ‘woman murdered after agreeing to meet stranger in parking lot’’ Just to clarify… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/20 04:49 AM |
| 7 | I mean...isn’t it obvious?! Grandpa is gna show up.Friends and neighbours: ‘He was a quite guy who often spent weekends sharpening his extensive knife collection on his front yard but he seemed so normal otherwise idk how anybody could’ve seen it coming’ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 05:26 PM |
| 11 | I mean...isn’t it obvious?! Grandpa is gna show up.What’s a field date ? 🤔 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 05:24 PM |
| 19 | Stories like this serve as a harsh reminder of why sticking to FDS is so important. She’s put out already and he’s pretty much already ghosting her, or at the very least slow fading. Unless he’s died, there’s NOT reason for a man to take four days to text you back.Thank you for saying this!! I’ve def been rethinking past ‘dates’ and wondering if I ruined good relationship potential by having sex too soon. Now I can put it away under ‘fuck that’ and ‘forgive yourself’ 😁 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 05:22 PM |
| 3 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDRe: exhausting SAME I feel like if you’ve ever done any kind of actual responsible travelling then you know it gets exhausting | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 10:27 PM |
| 7 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDHaha I mean I’m not even particular about height - gimme a smol man I can throw around anyday! At the same time theoretically ‘size doesn’t matter’ sure but like everything else about physical characteristics, it fo sho matters when it matters to the person it’s attached to. And when they add ‘apparently it matters’ I’m gonna guess that means it’s all they think about all of the time smh | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 10:23 PM |
| 5 | As a recovering pickme with a habit for manipulative Soft Bois, I’ve learned how to spot the type early.Omfg I HAD AN ENCOUNTER LIKE THIS YESTERDAY This guy’s profile said he was an accountant and I made a joke related to this fictional character who’s an in-house accountant for an accounting firm and this dude straight up lost his mind :| ‘Omg that would be terrible, they already work me like a dog, my life is horrible’ Then ‘Omg please ignore this I’m so sorry I’m a little buzzed’ ‘Nvm this I’m just in a bad mood I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything’ Boo-fucking-hoo ? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 10:20 PM |
| 12 | As a recovering pickme with a habit for manipulative Soft Bois, I’ve learned how to spot the type early.Ooh I’ve got one too! ‘Tell me a story about your worst date / a comically bad date’ Read between the lines of the story he shared and get direct access to his perspective on what his idea of a ‘bad’ date is e. ( woman didn’t grant him sex / she was ‘crazy’ / etc ) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 10:16 PM |
| 4 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDI take your asshole teddy bear and raise you the diomond in the rough aka ‘I’m shy/quiet/lame at first but a chatterbox/don’t shut up/still lame once I open up’ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 03:41 PM |
| 9 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDAtleast we’ve got herd immunity with FDS 🙌 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 02:03 PM |
| 10 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDAnd then the ‘Not on here often add me on SC/IG/somewhere I can request nudes and send unsolicited dick picks okthanksbyyyye’ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 02:01 PM |
| 3 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDThe Schrodinger Douchebag! I’ve got that meme saved in my phone, ready to whip it out and trigger the next one Scrotedinger I spot | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 01:42 PM |
| 11 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDHaha never forget the third option though: N E I T H E R | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 01:40 PM |
| 3 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDEach of your descriptions brought one or more ex-lover to mind smh and while I’m not sure how to feel about this, I’m def grateful that you’ve coined these terms Language is such a powerful tool | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 01:39 PM |
| 8 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDI’m screaming on the inside you’ve triggered me on so many levels rn ‘Height because apparently that matters’ which first of all what does that even mean and second of all the height’s always off by ~3 inches and then they’ll meet up and try to convince me that I must be taller than I know for a fact that I am ‘Here for a good time not a long time’ / ‘If covid didn’t take you out can I’ / ‘hey girl I’m generic and predictable af so how about you pick me to be the one to gaslight you and try to h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 01:35 PM |
| 6 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDOh yeah dudes who think that their one generic barely-a-hobby = a personality And the ‘poly’ / ‘nonmonog’ / ‘relationship anarchist’ crowd that unFAILINGLY are * either too insecure to break up with their ex-girlfriends so have opted for the ‘ethical’ route but are actually just waiting to secure a seamless transition to the next one * or they’re your regular garden variety fuckboi | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 12:53 PM |
| 3 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDThis is so accurate I’m crying | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 12:49 PM |
| 8 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDOmfg YES THIS SO MUCH and I feel like this is the same guy as the one that goes ‘don’t be shy just message’ / ‘just ask I don’t bite / ’idk what to write here because I’m less fun than a deflated bean bag but I promise I can make you cry’ like THANKS NO THANKS MOFO | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 12:47 PM |
| 5 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDDef looking her up, surprisingly ‘hustles’ is a new one for me! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 12:40 PM |
| 13 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDOh god yes the ‘fluent in sarcasm’ and/or ‘oxford comma’ crowd who think that use punctuation counts for a personality trait | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 12:39 PM |
| 8 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDHaha might as well have written ‘Warning: I’m boring and not sorry about it’ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 12:38 PM |
| 7 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDY E S ‘Not looking for drama’ = LoLz only plz cuz I’m not looking for any real tangible emotion or conversation | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 12:36 PM |
| 7 | Instant swipe-left triggers for OLDUrgh yeah I completely feel you on this Okc has their new BLM banner option going too and so many men on there who marked it as an I m p o r t a n t question like excuse me if I’d rather not disrespect a movement by co-opting it to try to get laid | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 12:35 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: September 18 2020Exactly! And then to imply that I’ve missed out smh the audacity of scrotes never fails to astonish me | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/20 10:27 PM |
| 42 | What would I cook?Usually because they have the emotional capacity of a teaspoon imo Often these are the same dudes saying ‘oh I’m a carefree easygoing goofy goofball’ aka ‘sorry I can’t handle adult conversations so instead of working on myself I’m going to expend my energy covering up for my inadequacies in LOLz, shits and giggles’ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/09/20 10:02 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: September 18 2020Haha I feel like he’s more likely to look back and think ‘sHoWeD hEr!!’ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/09/20 07:50 PM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: September 18 2020Never met any of his friends / quite possibly he might not even have any if he’s been propositioning them all this way | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/09/20 01:32 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: September 18 2020Yeah I’ve def soured on even wanting to be in contact with him because wtf kinda friend would he even be to me !? Also if you really want to ‘help your mental health’ maybe start with self-care / shaving the beard you claim is only overgrown because you’re lazy first I mean who knows when he last washed his face even ?? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/09/20 01:31 PM |
| 17 | What are some professions that have the most LVM/NVM?The OLD scene seems to be full of: Photographers Musicians Stand up comedians | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/09/20 01:05 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: September 18 2020Not hot but he could’ve been cute without the beard tbh It reminds me of a story I read in ‘The nine parts of desire’ where a woman keeps rejecting all her suitors ( for an arranged marriage ) for seemingly trivial reasons and when another woman tried to call her out on it she says ‘hey if I’m not marrying for love then I’m not going to settle for anything less than perfect’ I’ve never had a FWB myself for exactly the reasons you’ve stated but I was like if I’m going to consider it then I’d like… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/09/20 12:46 PM |
| 7 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-In, Quick Questions Answered: September 18 2020So this week, one of my so-called dude friends texted and propositioned a FWB situation because he thought that it might be ‘good for mental health’ - interestingly he didn’t specify whose mental health I’ve known him for a few months and he seems relatively harmless but fortunately I was reading the handbook at the time so I decided I’d explicitly lay out my ground rules and see how he responds to them. He’s not boyfriend material at all so I figured that if I want to engage in a FWB situation … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/09/20 11:11 AM |
| 3 | What are some phrases LVM say in the beginning that are red flags in the early phases that we may not notice?Haha yup we’ve got our floofs watching our back and helping us rebuild our trust in our own instincts <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/20 09:51 PM |
| 8 | What are some phrases LVM say in the beginning that are red flags in the early phases that we may not notice?‘Goofy’ / ‘goofy oddball’ or any such variation usually means he’s a manchild who’ll be ‘just kidding’ a lot | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/20 03:20 PM |
| 11 | What are some phrases LVM say in the beginning that are red flags in the early phases that we may not notice?FYI in ‘the gift of fear’ Gavin Becker says that our reliance on animal intuition is a way of giving ourselves permission to trust our intuition. Our bodies tend to have an intuitive response to subconsciously noting red flags even if our minds deny them, and that response is what our animal companions are often reacting to. Their reaction is often a physical manifestation of our own gut feeling. I straight up died when I read this tbh, like is that why my dog is suspicious of every single perso… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/20 03:03 PM |
| 18 | What are some phrases LVM say in the beginning that are red flags in the early phases that we may not notice?Also my ‘tone’ was too hostile and it was hurtful to him and could I just soften up a little bit. Finally when I ended it after ONE MONTH of knowing him ‘is this how it ends?’ ‘how could you give up on us like this?’ I said ‘watch me’ 😂 Two weeks later he says ‘How are you doing? I’d love to stay friends - no rush though’ Umm N O | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/20 02:57 PM |
| 27 | What are some phrases LVM say in the beginning that are red flags in the early phases that we may not notice?Oh God this is giving me flashbacks to a guy I ( thankfully briefly ) dated last year He paid for the first date ( drinks 🙄) I made him dinner for the second He paid for cheapass takeout Fourth time we were going to catch a show. It was dead of winter and we had to wait in a long line outside the theater. I got there first and saved a spot in the line. I wasn’t feeling well and it was freezing out so when he got there I asked him if he could grab me a hot chocolate from the coffee store. Long st… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/09/20 02:51 PM |
| 5 | Women actually have legitimate reasons to be angry and resentful towards men. Most conflict between men and women nowadays boils down to men's desire to control, exploit, and abuse women; and women's desire to not be controlled, exploited, and abused. These two perspectives are not "equally as bad"Omg I feel like I’ve spotted a celebrity, I just got done reading one of your essays in the handbook!! And I remember thinking ‘that’s a cool af name’ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/09/20 10:51 PM |
| 9 | Women actually have legitimate reasons to be angry and resentful towards men. Most conflict between men and women nowadays boils down to men's desire to control, exploit, and abuse women; and women's desire to not be controlled, exploited, and abused. These two perspectives are not "equally as bad"Yeah i think they see ‘strategy’ and they assume it means: - ‘lying / cheating / manipulating an innocent person into a relationship’ when it actually means - ‘keeping yourself safe and sane while you navigate a world where men hold power’ The two things are NOT the same. Those who project one onto the other just reveal their own truth and beliefs. Because don’t people tend to view the world they way they are vs they way the world actually is ? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/09/20 10:44 PM |
| 13 | My ex sent me this tonightI JUST saw a meme that covers all of my feelings on this that said: “ Ofcourse you miss me. I wasn’t the problem.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/20 10:25 AM |
| 10 | I joined this subreddit not because I'm looking for a HVM, but because this is a safe space for women calling men out on their bullshit unapologetically.Me too!! I’m still going through all the literature in the ‘about’ section myself and anytime I share it with friends I still start with ‘Listen I know that this FDS is called ‘toxic’ / ‘misandrist’ / etc and I can see why some people might feel that way BUT...’ Going through this is so so so refreshing and validating. It feels like advice straight from the heart of a big sister I never had. So grateful to this sub for reminding me of my own worth and value <3 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/09/20 05:50 AM |
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