| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | IRA implications.An actuary guy will make the transfer from you to her Ira. That’s what happened with me. We didn’t cash out anything, it was transferred on paper. Cost about 2k for the actuary and 2k for my lawyers emails on it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/10/24 12:04 PM |
| 1 | I can't believe my 4 years of life savings are gone just like that...Uh. Or 40. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/24 09:24 AM |
| 5 | Couples Counseling…has it ever worked for anyone?My brothers experience was they would go to counseling and then his wife would use the talks from the session as arguments against him later. Holy smokes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/24 11:12 AM |
| 1 | 401k split QuestionThe fiduciary guy that split our accounts cost 2k, plus another 2k in lawyer emails. I mean just when you think it’s over there’s more $$ to pay. Keep this in mind. Oh, and it took almost three months. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/10/24 10:26 AM |
| 1 | Brothers in California-- Divorcing a stay-at-home wife, do I read the calculated Spousal support correctly?Mine was 25 percent of gross, pretty much. Spousal support that is. No kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/24 12:32 PM |
| 1 | Managing spends during divorceSpend what you can afford. Just don’t take on debt. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/08/24 12:50 PM |
| 3 | Being cut off by in-lawsMy in laws did not turn away. Nobody in the whole family dislikes me, and we still communicate, and they still fully support her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/24 04:19 PM |
| 12 | What are some of the most important lessons you've learned from your divorce that you wish you could share with younger men facing similar situations?You need to be peers/equals. Making your actions suit someone else gets old after three or four decades. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/24 09:52 PM |
| 2 | Do you regret getting divorced?Nope. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/24 09:57 AM |
| 3 | Is 10 years the lucky number?Where I was, after ten years the length of spousal support went from year for year (married five years, support for five years, etc.) to forever. I.e until you retire. That’s my understanding of the ten year mark. FWIW. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/24 05:57 PM |
| 3 | What is your attorneys hourly rate and how much have you paid already?The more you have the more they will end up spending. Mine was around 20k. A friend spent 120k. Another friend spent only … 500 bucks. Totally respective of our worth. Crazy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/24 11:28 AM |
| 1 | Do you wish her happy birthday?I didn’t. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/24 11:06 AM |
| 3 | Update on my divorce!!!Aggressive? Yes, mine was despite me telling him not to. He used language in his emails to ex lawyer that incited more emails. Ie more $$. Also upset my ex with the language so that also. Did. Not. Like. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/06/24 12:01 PM |
| 1 | How is spousal support calculated. Can I anticipate what I may have to pay or is that left entirely up to the judge's discretion?Half of my income goes to her, it equates to about 25% of gross income. Roughly, just to give you an idea. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/23 07:21 PM |
| 2 | It’s said that a married man dies twice: a physical death, and a death by 1000 concessions? What did you give up during your marriage?I gave up a couple hundred thousand in equities, all the friends were mine so no loss there, plus her whole family still cares for me. So, really, I lost the woman. My lifestyle will be fine. I miss some of the old stuff, but not enough to wish to go back. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/23 01:45 AM |
| 1 | Alimony question - wife wants $3k per month but I’m between jobs and that amount is based on previous income amount. What is typical alimony percentage after child support? Also did anyone word your spousal support as a percentage of income in lieu of a hard number?We agreed to 50/50 of my income. Since I pay the taxes, it comes out to about 25% of gross income that I pay her. If I lose my job then I petition to pay zero. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/05/23 02:15 AM |
| 1 | 30 year marriage circling the drain. Having 2nd thoughts...I had to pull the plug at 38 years. It is everything you think it’s not, plus some. Give it serious consideration. It changes everything. Family, etc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/05/23 01:56 AM |
| 1 | Living together in separate rooms until I can afford divorce. 1 child in 3rd grade. Married 6 years. Is she ok or dragging me along until 10 years??Did this ever work long term?As far as I kinda know, ten years is a milestone that affects spousal support. Here, it’s year for year, then at ten years it turns into longer. So if it’s gonna happen, do it before then. Not a lawyer, not even good at math, take it for what it’s worth. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/05/23 01:45 AM |
| 2 | Haven't seen my ex in over a year. I just saw her Facebook photo.Hmpf. I only wish the best for my ex. I hope she looks great and possibly find a new man. Now, does she wish that for me? Uh, no. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/05/23 07:48 PM |
| 1 | Exposing the broken systemI see divorcecorp is already listed. If you want to throw up, watch that one. The one thing that struck me was they said there is no constitution in family court. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/05/23 05:14 PM |
| 2 | Advice to men: It is very difficult or impossible to recover financially from a divorce after a long marriage, you are almost always better off hiding assets and risking a penalty vs certainty of lower living standard for the rest of your lifeI never once thought to try and shortchange my stbx. I don’t think that’s a good way for me to live. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/23 07:45 PM |
| 1 | Evidence obtained questionably - no fault stateSpousal support would only change if there was abuse and or illegal drug use. Free from me to you, but I paid about 15k for that info, lol. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/23 03:50 PM |
| 1 | Evidence obtained questionably - no fault stateSorry, but in cali this means nothing. It’s a no fault state. Be glad for it too, you don’t need to be hiring detectives and gathering dossiers. Caveat: My lawyer said only two things would matter- domestic violence and or illegal drug abuse. Other than that, nothing else matters. Frankly, I’m glad it’s this way. It costs enough already. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/23 03:48 PM |
| 2 | Im physically and emotionally abused.I’m gonna second this one. Nothing conveys how things really are like a video. Good luck brother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/23 03:38 PM |
| 2 | Is it better for a man to go back to his wife of 30 years…for familiarity and sentimental reasons….or move forward with new love and fulfilling sex life and risk not having full time companionship?I’m 61. Divorce should be final in a few weeks (40 years). No kids. It took a year-plus and all that to get through negotiations and come up with the right numbers. Living alone? I love my own company, so it’s easy for me. The hard part is I shipped my stuff out of state but I haven’t moved yet….I’m in an apartment still but can’t do any of my hobbies. I get along fine, I also have decades long friendships and her family still loves me, etc. It’s totally up to me when I move, so my new date is J… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/23 03:34 PM |
| 1 | Is it better for a man to go back to his wife of 30 years…for familiarity and sentimental reasons….or move forward with new love and fulfilling sex life and risk not having full time companionship?Man, I can’t imagine going from a thirty year relationship into another one without some time in between. You need a clean break before you hook up with anyone also; your new relationship will have this hanging over you guys. It’s a recipe for good times and then a disaster. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/23 03:23 PM |
| 2 | Lawyers suck guysMy attorney did similar things. He used language that upset my wife, it wasn’t necessary. Plus at first he didn’t cc me so I didn’t know what was being said until my stbx complained to me about it. Fast forward to two weeks ago. Me and stbx had finally come to an agreement. All property and no kids. Then, after we get to the court (progress update court date) he wants to bring up some other inequity (money she earned that he wanted me to get some of)…. just to upset the apple cart. This is AFTER… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/23 02:18 PM |
| 1 | Can I buy a house in my parent's name in order to prevent it from becoming marital property?Thirty years and the kids will be grown and gone. If you have these thoughts you may not be ready. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/22 04:30 AM |
| 1 | If you've been divorced once after a long marriage, would you marry someone who has been divorced twice, from short marriages?Nope. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/22 04:17 AM |
| 1 | Money... costs... how do you all do itSorry, I was out and just saw this. I just want to say that alimony is not forever, at least in my case. It’s until retirement, but I have to go back to get it dropped through the court. The other option is to buy a termination date. For example, give xx cash to end support at age 65. Something like that. At least in my case. Ymmv. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/22 04:04 AM |
| 1 | Military PensionSorry, but if you are retired you’re under no obligation to work (at least for me at age 60). I think you mis phrased your reply. I agree that pension, etc. is 50/50. After that, if you work you can/have to pay spousal support. Those are different. Spousal support is from income. Rental properties, new job, etc. you don’t give half your pension and then another percentage of the pension for spousal support. I’m not a lawyer but I am claiming to have stayed in a Holiday day inn (express). | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/22 03:58 AM |
| 1 | Military PensionDuring the divorce process your pension can be evaluated. The person that does this lists the cash value, etc. at that point you’ll know the cash value, etc. I.e. what it should take to buy her out. The downside is you are paying in advance for something that might have ended sooner. The upside is you’re done paying.. figure 50/50 on pension but not worse. Hate to have this knowledge… good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/22 03:51 AM |
| 1 | Divorce fees?I’m just over 10k. Almost done. Just the filing fee was 490.00. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/11/22 06:42 AM |
| 4 | Money... costs... how do you all do itI would love 1300 alimony. Not unhappy to pay it, but I’m looking at 4k. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/22 03:56 AM |
| -3 | Please advice about relationship with an American man in divorceHe’s not ‘in divorce’. He’s playing you. Sorry. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/08/22 01:23 PM |
| 11 | Give it to me straight fellasAs in be nice to each other. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/08/22 12:54 PM |
| 3 | Feel worse every time I tell someone about choosing divorceI wouldn’t give reasons. It’s not their business. The most you need to say is something along the lines of us not heading in the same direction or ‘I wasn’t willing to continue like it was’. It’s not like they’re going to not support your decision. One thing I found out is ‘you’re unique, just like everyone else’ or your divorce is not unique. I wouldn’t tell anyone the reasons, just the reasoning. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Nobody gets to judge you or your situation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/03/22 07:41 PM |
| 13 | How did you make it?It takes s lot, but you’ll do it. For me I left after 40 years. Once I said the words I want a divorce i pretty much had to leave that day. I already had most of my stuff boxed up but not in storage. I slept in my truck for 20 days and showered at work even though I had money to rent a place. Within a couple of weeks I moved my belongings into a storage facility. I split my paycheck with her and let her have an extra few thousand a month. I am the one that left, yeah, but it’s not like I wanted … | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/22 06:11 PM |
| 8 | Was there an event or a trigger where you finally said to yourself “this marriage is over” mine was my wife’s wine drinking and when I accidentally tripped on a 1/2 full wine bottle on the floor. There’s a lot more backstory though (low to no income, cheating on me once).Our marriage appeared fine… with the usual separate sleeping, a few other issues, but the one that really really got me was when I suggested we go see a movie. I suggested the movie and she kept saying it was “all about me”. Really? It grew into a big fight and I told her we needed to work on our relationship. She refused, so there was no real chance after that. The resolve I’ve had to dig deep for to get to that point.…. It was a forty year marriage…. I had to leave. Here we are six months late… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/22 12:11 AM |
| 4 | Wife just lawyered up and I did the sameYep. Lawyer up. My situation is similar. I was ready to be super fair but her first ‘offer’ from her and her lawyer was so far away from 50/50.. so now I have a lawyer. I was giving her way more than half my pay… (separated last September). now I don’t want to do anything except 50/50. In my mind she kinda blew it by trying to screw me over. It didn’t have to be this way, but she forced me to get more stern. Everyone kept saying I had to get meaner… I didn’t want to. But here we are. Ugh. For th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/22 01:43 PM |
| 53 | Does “The woman you marry is not the same woman you divorce” ring true for you?My wife was generous when we married. She’s still generous now, but not with me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/22 09:52 PM |
| 1 | DIY DivorceAbsolutely. I wish my divorce was going smoothly! | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/22 08:11 PM |
| 1 | does anyone escaping a toxic relationship ever regret getting divorced?That’s genius. I created a similar list, but I lost it. But I try to remember exactly those things when I question my decision to divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/22 08:05 PM |
| 1 | Is there a dollar amount you would place on keeping your divorce amicable?I really thought it would be amicable and fair in the first few weeks, then her mean streak kicked in. I was hoping to not get a lawyer but now I really have to. Almost 40 years and no kids… it’s all financial. I just received her first proposal. Holy sheet… she’s really asking for basically everything plus some. I didn’t see this coming. I have been more than fair up until now with our income split (prolly 60/40). Now I’m just so upset I can’t think. Too many life stressors all at once. Ugh. Ye… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/22 04:32 PM |
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