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phantom_0007 Archive

View 4 posts and 161 comments by phantom_0007 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

SWERF means sex worker exclusionary radical feminist. There's a lot of fear mongering about porn by Christian fundamentalist groups. It's not like they have any credibility. Also, I wasn't playing the credential game. I don't talk about things I have no idea about. I'm guessing in your case that would be medicinal chemistry or dopamine receptors. But if you do have any academic papers about this dopamine link that would be fun reading imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 02:57 AM
1

Do you know if FDS is inclusive of trans women?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 05:47 AM
1

As a medicinal chemistry student, for the love of god stop using chemistry buzzwords to further your SWERF agenda.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 05:45 AM
2

Dude, they're a TERF sub. It would be interesting if you look at how their rhetoric intersects with that of "gender critical" or "pink pill" subreddit users. Don't take anything they say at face value, especially if you're talking to a moderator of the subreddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/21 05:42 AM
1

You're deluded if you think FDS is an accurate representation of feminism. Everybody knows that sub sucks, it's a TERF sub, of course it sucks. Just the fact that you think "feminism has taken over" (if it really had, there would be no need for it, it would just disappear) means you haven't actually read any academic feminist works. No gender is above the rest. Anyway, I'm disabling reply notifications because I don't want more misinformed morons in my mentions. It was nice to meet you, /u/Mudag…
/r/MensRights01/09/20 02:43 PM
1

Thanks, I'll try. Looks like you're one of the good people XD glad to see those still exist. It's so easy to get caught up in dualities these days (I just finished watching the German show called Dark and was thinking about that. If I say anything else it'll be a spoiler though so I'll stop talking now) and people just ignore the fact that there's a human on the other side of the screen. Sometimes I wish I hadn't been forced to go through all the shit in my life (as in death would have been a be…
/r/MensRights30/08/20 07:09 PM
-3

Thanks. Unfortunately some guys here don't seem to think misogyny is still a huge problem in society so I'm not gonna be staying here lmao god knows I live through enough bullshit IRL. One guy even said he doesn't think women need to have political power. And another guy doesn't think the patriarchy is an oppressive system designed to kick women to the proverbial curb, even though the misandrist part of the patriarchy is literally what MRAs are against (presumably). Tbh the mental gymnastics blo…
/r/MensRights30/08/20 05:07 PM
1

if you beleive that this is a social construct Where have I said that? You're arguing a straw man. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patriarchy originated in several independant geographical regions Just because a system enables the rise of a certain demographic to power in different parts of the world, that doesn't mean it is objectively "good" or moral or a desirable system. (E.g. fascist ideologies have also had quite a few decent runs in the past; a lot of countries right now are having to deal …
/r/MensRights30/08/20 04:01 PM
2

I mean, I'm not the one subscribed to this subreddit anyway. Your point is?
/r/MensRights30/08/20 01:02 PM
-1

Dude, if you read even a tiiiny bit of theory you'd know that the definition of "the patriarchy" isn't a "conspiracy theory" like have you actually talked to any women ever about the misogyny we have to face in our daily lives? (You wouldn't know exactly why certain behaviours are misogynistic because you're not a woman. Same way I might not know something is misandrist at the outset, but I can educate myself once some guy friends explain things to me.) Where have I played the victim exactly? It…
/r/MensRights30/08/20 12:41 PM
0

Aw I thought this was a discussion sub! :( You wouldn't take kindly to me calling MRAs nutjobs, but you're probably past the point of no return to be honest. Why is it misandrist to say the effects of the patriarchal mindset is harmful to people of all genders? I smell hypocritical bullshit. You don't even bother to clarify definitions with me and you call me a nutjob? That's a great way of getting people to listen to you. :) /s I've gotten to see some very interesting specimens on this subreddi…
/r/MensRights30/08/20 12:28 PM
-2

Apparently if we debunk blatant misinformation and lies that makes us 'hateful' and I'm really annoyed that the moderators actually stickied this because now the brigaders are going to swarm it. Well, sticky for a sticky, I guess. As long as the debunking isn't accompanied by blatant misogyny then I suppose it's fine. Are you fucking joking? Lmao don't school me just because you haven't bothered to engage with legitimate academic feminist theory past however the misandrists have appropriated it.…
/r/MensRights30/08/20 12:16 PM
-3

Well, Breonna Taylor got shot by cops in her own home, so... yes? She was a Black woman. And I don't see anyone talking about female victims of gun violence, even in BLM. It's like everyone's forgotten all the women who've been murdered. Lemme tell you a bit about what it's like to live as a woman (I live in a country where I can't express my genderfluid ass properly, but that's a different issue). Marital rape still hasn't been criminalized where I live. Members of Parliament openly make misogy…
/r/MensRights30/08/20 11:47 AM
-1

you're a piece of work aren't ya. did you forget to read this sub's rules against generalizations?
/r/MensRights30/08/20 11:29 AM
-2

Probably the alt account of a Black TERF moderator on the sub, judging by the writing style (it's similar). Also you do know that Black women exist right? Like your first sentence doesn't make any sense to me. Edit: Women still don't have it easy in the 21st century. I could tell you how if you want to have a discussion about that.
/r/MensRights30/08/20 11:23 AM
1

the silent majority are going to finally stop hiding and fight back Speaking as one of the not-misandrist feminists, we're all already out there but our voices don't get picked up by the media because we're not being controversial enough. No media organization wants to hear the kumbaya stuff. My girl friends irl are horrified at FDS and what women on that sub say, so don't lose hope. MGTOW itself is such a misogynistic community, whenever I see a post from there on AgainstHateSubreddits I start …
/r/MensRights30/08/20 11:21 AM
2

Dude if you try to post there as a man they'll ban you. And if you challenge them they won't let your comment be posted there in the first place. Gotta keep the cult mentality fresh and ready for arriving Newbies. :P
/r/MensRights30/08/20 11:14 AM
4

Speaking as a former FDS user (yes I know it's cringe, I make fun of them now but I was in a really dark place after a cis man sexually assaulted me. Fucking asshole. Anyway) "High Value Men" are just doormats that FDS users want to gaslight and manipulate. FDS is also a TERF subreddit. I despise them. They trash anyone who doesn't agree with them. They call random women PickMes, they body-shame random men and dox them, I saw a post on there telling women to snoop through guys' medicine cabinets…
/r/MensRights30/08/20 11:13 AM
1

You know what, I was hesitant to comment in this sub (speaking as a genderfluid person who, most of the time, is a woman) and I've already seen a few weird takes on feminism in this comment thread. But it makes me glad to see that you guys countered the FDS post with positivity instead of even more sexism. FDS is the WGTOW version of MGTOW; I don't know why it hasn't been quarantined like MGTOW. I've had to leave subreddits in the past for being too misogynistic and hateful. I've been harassed b…
/r/MensRights30/08/20 11:02 AM
1

Don't you think it gets rather problematic when the mods themselves are extremists though?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 03:19 PM
0

Not really; there's also a toxic side to it where it (a) is transphobic/ homophobic/ biphobic, (b) likes outlandish ideas like "go through your SO's medicine cabinet to find out if he has a mental illness" (c) likes posts about how to get a guy to pay for all dates by engaging in calculating and manipulative behaviour. It's great that more women are working through their childhood/ relationship issues but they're going back down the slide with all that other BS. There are a lot of AMALT vibes in…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 03:10 PM
1

And porn too. For someone who doesn't want their sexual activity to be judged, they're sure as hell judging (equivalent) sexual activity for men. Double standards. And they justify it saying "women on this sub are Queens!!!11!"
/r/MensRights17/05/20 05:39 AM
1

I'm late here, but I applaud you for standing up to these people that are so deep in their hate that they go out of their way to harass dissenters (we never personally attack them btw). Most sane feminists don't agree with scoping out a guy's medicine cabinet or snooping through his phone to figure out if he watches porn or not. If you're so distrustful of your partner, you might as well end the relationship and go to therapy. But nope we're all queens and we have starlight bursting out of our v…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/05/20 10:06 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/Terfsarentfeminists/comments/g2baby/misandry_terfiness_on_f_d_s_and_by_f_d_s_mods_not/ Also this link might help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFBQ2cymvfI And Rachel Oates is pretty funny too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vH6erWk2BU I'll edit this as I find more links, these are great to watch XD
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/20 03:54 PM
1

I'm not a guy, but I found things on the sub that might go against your "reasonable and self aware" hypothesis: https://www.reddit.com/r/Terfsarentfeminists/comments/g2baby/misandry_terfiness_on_f_d_s_and_by_f_d_s_mods_not/ I found a lot more than 20 incidences. Stay subbed to FDS, you're bound to find a hate post there soon.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/20 02:27 PM
2

hmmm super feminist and uplifting amirite
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/20 02:11 PM
1

Mostly that every man you meet wants to hurt you in some way, when that is objectively not true because there are good people out there raising children who wouldn't harm anyone at the drop of a hat. It's an FDS lie, not a general one.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/20 07:36 AM
2

The thing with those of us that have since left FDS is we keep expecting FDSers to have rational arguments and proven facts to justify their excessive hate, when in reality they just... don't have either of those. I'm late to this thread but it's really sad to see that they really believe they have to be en garde on dates, like you really don't have to do much to stay safe besides not getting into his car, meeting in public places, and not going back to his place on the first few dates. The rest…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/20 07:32 AM
1

All women are FDS You wouldn't be saying this if you actually looked out the window into the real world. :P
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/20 07:29 AM
1

I would give you gold but I'm a broke student, so here you go instead: 🥇
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/20 07:27 AM
1

Even if it works, that doesn't mean it's right or morally correct. The means to an end are not always justified, especially when you increase the degree of harm caused by using said means (intimidation tactics, gaslighting, etc)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/20 07:24 AM
1

i never heard of a woman who sleeps with 5 men making them hope for commitment, it barely exists. I've definitely come across women like that, they bragged about it too. FDS presents a very one-sided view of things, and they like stitching narratives based on half-baked realities. It's one thing to acknowledge facts and another thing to extrapolate things with no demonstrable falsifiability.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/20 07:20 AM
2

Yeah like if you have to put all these checks in place just to make sure "your" boyfriend doesn't screw you over, maybe you're better off not dating and going to therapy instead to get your head on straight. XD
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/20 07:18 AM
1

They literally advocate going through men's medicine cabinets and spying on their messages. If you don't trust your guy to that extent, it's better to just leave. And any honest "HVM" wouldn't put up with that bullshit, because the hallmark of an HVM (or any "high value person" for that matter) is respecting both others and oneself.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/20 07:15 AM
2

You're welcome. I just said all that because of my personal experiences with FDS; I was on there for quite some time and noticed myself becoming more hateful day by day. And other women who've since left FDS say the same (we even have a sub for ex users). I'm the type of person that doesn't really view the world just through one ideology, so if somebody tells me ideology X is going to help me, and then they try to shame me for disagreeing with the inhumane parts of X, I get turned off very quick…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/20 04:32 AM
1

The negative experiences are caused by typically 2 or 3 men in a particular woman's life; FDS amplifies it and chucks it back at all men, even though they claim not to. Eventually it can manifest as hatred of all men, regardless of any man's actions towards these women, and an inclination towards living a life of exploitation and narcissism (as is evidenced by the "women are all queens shtick). They can't separate other women's pain from their own, so they feel angry on behalf of all women, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/20 07:30 PM
1

"This, of course, would not indicate that androphilic males have a greater propensity to offend against children." At least read your sources properly before posting them. Edit: dude you guys are talking about a totally different thing, I'm outta here
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/20 07:05 PM
1

Takes one to know one?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/05/20 04:21 PM
1

Imagine conflating homosexuality with pedophilia.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/20 01:08 PM
1

I'm late to the party but dang these guys mean business when they say they'll brigade other subreddits, amirite
/r/ExRedPill30/04/20 08:39 AM
7

WHEN will guys learn that negging is a completely disgusting and obtuse "strategy" SMH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 09:38 AM
86

That AITA post the other day where a guy dumped childcare responsibilities onto his 14 yr old daughter said exactly that. "I have a 21 year old but we don't talk anymore so I didn't think I should mention her" like WTF
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 08:44 AM
20

People like to say porn isn't a problem in the real world just because they're not addicted to it, but there are a lot of teenagers/ people in their 20s who expect porn to be a reflection of reality. I don't know if it's possible to find anyone who hasn't watched or seen porn (even by accident, I mean) since you see it in advertisements too. That's how normalized it is. :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 06:35 AM
1

Yeah same here. I started reading Chanel Miller's book but had to stop because I started thinking about ways to take my abuser to court. But he's in a different country and I live in a very conservative society so that won't be possible (also, I have to finish my degree). I did get to talk to his current girlfriend -- he's not exclusive with her yet either, even though I remember she told me in February that she had that conversation with him months ago, and "they'd decided to be exclusive". Jus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 04:36 AM
6

Hmmm... I dunno, it becomes hard to constantly be reminded of the physical trauma. It takes self discipline and restraint to avoid contacting someone who used to have such a hold on your mind. I didn't contact him for 5 months after I blocked him, and I still broke and wrote some shit to him in a common space where I knew he would see it because I was pissed off and wanted to teach him a lesson. (Then I deleted the common space.). Then later on I realized he's not the kind of person that'll chan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 09:07 AM
2

Me too please! Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 05:42 AM
5

The post got deleted!!! Dang I wanted to read it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 05:10 AM
16

From somebody who blocked her ex on all social media seven months ago -- it gets better. I'd advise you to stay away from things that trigger you (even posts like these). For about four months afterwards I was in a state where I couldn't focus in any of my classes. I wouldn't have thought then that I would genuinely like myself one day at all (of course, living in a house with people who put you down either intentionally or unintentionally does not help). Go absolutely no-contact since you alrea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 04:50 AM
2

What does it matter if he thinks he's ended things? You don't need a shithead who will pressure you into sexual stuff in your life. Block and delete!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 03:10 PM
3

Work on yourself instead of trying to get external validation. Read books, listen to music you like, etc. Focus on yourself and not some trash assholes on the internet. They have nothing else to do and they don't care about women. Also Reddit is notorious for having women users' profiles doxxed. Be careful about that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 02:51 PM
4

WTF that's insane, I didn't know that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 09:35 AM
24

Congratulations 🎉🎊🎉🎊👯‍♀️🎈
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 09:20 AM
19

Why are you putting her down? Getting out of an intimate relationship is hard, and we should give credit where it's due.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 05:13 AM
-6

Can't we have a single umbrella type post where we describe LVM and some of their more characteristic actions?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 03:07 PM
0

SAME thank you for this post OP!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 03:06 PM
16

I hate epilation for this exact reason! My legs itch a lot after shaving too (and epilation makes your skin bleed a little, which, needless to say, is rather unpleasant). I don't have a problem not shaving my legs or wearing full-length jeans in summer, but my mom says "your legs will look better if there's no hair on them". Talk about lowering my self esteem 😂 UGH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 05:15 AM
4

You'll meet someone someday who treats you like you're more than enough, which is the way you're supposed to be treated. You should never feel less than in a relationship. It's only been a month you're married, file for annulment/ divorce ASAP otherwise if you continue to be married to him, have kids etc, you'll be miserable. He's acting like this within a month, imagine how bad it could get a year or five years later. So save yourself the pain and regret, and just leave. It's not going to be ea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 06:33 PM
3

Or be a uni student somewhere that has good counsellors. But before that you need to be able to pay for said university tuition. :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 05:33 AM
18

I was on a dating app recently (they're GARBAGE oh my god -- I mean, not that the guy I dated after meeting him in real life was a whole lot better) and got matched with a few men who were like, "You're so smart, why are you single?" I don't remember what my answer used to be, but I think it should've been, "Yeah I'm smart; that's why I'm single." Honestly the majority of men are overtly entitled in at least one sphere of their lives: if not in the workplace, then in the home, etc. It's really a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 04:37 AM
9

Your boyfriend is not supportive; this is not the way he's supposed to be acting at all. He's an LVM through and through. You can and should take as long as you need to work through the trauma, see a therapist if you can afford one after booting this boyfriend out. You should be with someone who respects and supports women, not someone who tears them down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 10:09 AM
10

Same, my brother disrespects me and my mom, calls me a bitch and an asshole for no reason, tells me I don't stand up to our parents (why would I need to stand up to them if I don't even live with them for a large part of the year? I'm going to do what I want anyway, it really doesn't matter. Not to mention they have heart problems so I don't want to piss then off. Also they are pretty okay, and I try to gently question their more outrageous views, which is not easy to do in a conservative societ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 10:05 AM
7

Omg cringeeee 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 12:38 PM
4

Tumblr says it's Porphyria R’lyeh. I dunno who she was but she sounds cool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 03:38 PM
8

DISGUSTING this made me gag while I was eating lunch ohhh myyy godddd I hope she dumps him Jesus Christ
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 10:18 AM
28

Well, I dunno what your boyfriend is like so won't comment on that, but my (sadly NVM) ex was also diagnosed with social anxiety and refused to listen to me when I tried to help with the following advice (maybe you can try some of this, it won't be easy but I use the same tricks when I get anxious about talking to someone I've never met before): If you go to a large supermarket to shop, try asking where the restroom is/ where X aisle is/ where you can find Y (even if you don't really need to kno…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 09:39 AM
31

Oh I love Plath. Her poetry especially, so raw and beautiful. She's a real icon for the rest of us out here. Ted Hughes, on the other hand...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 09:19 AM
10

Oh wow can you please link the second video? Or put the channel name in your comment or something? Sounds funny!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 08:25 AM
1

Oh wow I haven't seen that one. Yeah I mean, I don't want to go on a date and have to think about when to smile, of all things (if he says something weird about women, I'll be naturally put off and won't smile, there's no two ways about that). I don't believe in letting one narrative or ideology control my life blindly because there's always a chance it's got some things wrong. We're all human after all. I saw a comment here on another post saying women who live tweeted about sports were PickMe …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 05:01 AM
4

Thank you lol. This sub goes overboard sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 05:55 AM
3

Nothing wrong with making something a core part of your identity as long as you don't treat people like shit because of it. Putting women down because they happen to tweet about sports live is absurd.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 05:43 AM
3

Oh because women can't like watching sports right /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 05:21 AM
4

Yeah exactly, I play MOBAs casually myself and would love to play together with an SO but he shouldn't be addicted to the games, obviously. And close to zero money should go into those games, that money can go into a savings account instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 05:19 AM
20

BEN SHAPIRO LOL that's all I'm going to say. Don't even need to say anything else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 11:49 AM
12

My dad went to this religious meeting and some woman there "asked him about me" LOL I'm just 21 I was horrified.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 11:44 AM
3

That's okay hehe I woulda been thrown out if I ever said that irl XD (or at least made her very very sad). This lockdown is frustrating as fuck but somehow it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. I just keep myself busy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 01:02 PM
2

How do you figure out if you want children though? I'm fairly young (early 20s) and my mom's pregnancy with me was pretty complicated, so she keeps telling me to have kids early, around when I'll be 27-28 years old, but I just don't know if I would be ready by then (financially/ emotionally etc). I don't want to marry some doofus just so I can have kids. Indian families are sorta fucked up in terms of what they put their DILs through. Every time I think about changing a stinky diaper at 28 I cri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 06:00 AM
3

Oh I didn't actually say that to my mom, just said it to myself inside my head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 05:21 AM
4

Fuck that sucks big time dude. I wonder if your teachers considered the facts that working in the medical field is hard enough as is, without adding a family into the mix. I was talking to my mom the other day about this (in general, I mean) and then I just said out loud, "What if I don't have kids?" She freaked out sooo much, she was like Oh I'd be very sad etc etc... I was just like do you two know how fucked up your kids are because of you 😂 I don't trust myself enough not to continue the int…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 02:12 PM
7

What about your dad, what does he think about the situation?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 09:10 AM
9

SAME HAHA. In my house, however (although my dad is a bit of a narc to be honest) my mom was the one to tell me, "If you don't learn how to cook you're going to have a hard time staying married," whereas my dad was the one who told me I should learn it to feed myself because outside food is unhealthy. But the damage was already done from whatever my mom said. It's only right now, six years after my mom first started parroting the line that I've become somewhat interested in cooking. I can't cook…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 07:28 AM
7

Uh I thought the show's producers paid him to say shitty stuff like that? (Making him sound even shittier than usual?). Or is that wrong?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 07:01 AM
2

Hey don't insult vaginas! XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 05:15 AM
10

I feel like people need to take responsibility for lifting themselves up. Or at least really accept help from other people who mean well. I tried to get one of my former friends to stop smoking, he just would NOT listen and I had a lot of depressive episodes as a result. It's just not worth it. You need to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. I see so many people blaming their friends for not helping them when, in actuality, said friends just got emotionally exhausted and moved on. Constantly …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 12:43 PM
2

The thumbnail made me nauseous enough not to want to watch the video, ew that's disgusting ;-;
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 09:11 AM
4

Thank God lol I was beginning to seriously worry. I plan to come back to the US someday and I'm in two minds about that because of all the science denial and sexism that goes around. Makes me wonder if the country has any redeeming characteristics at all -- not to say where I'm at right now is any better, but you know what I mean
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 09:07 AM
5

Hey, don't shit all over yourself, you did good. It's hard to maintain no-contact after you leave a shitty person. There's a statistic that says the average abuse victim takes 7 attempts to leave her abuser. I broke my own 5-6 month NC record a month ago (wrote some stuff where I knew he would see it, then removed myself from said place). Did it because I blocked him 8 months ago in a hurry and there were a lot of things left unsaid that I really needed to let go of. I would recommend doing that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 08:11 AM
11

Okay I have a question: any American breakfast dishes that have a considerable portion of vegetables? This looks unhealthy as fuck. I'd eat something like that only if there were nothing else I could cook in my house lol. Yikers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 07:56 AM
1

She stopped sessions with me last semester (around 4-5 months after I blocked him) because there were too many new students that also needed sessions booked and also because she thought I could handle it on my own. She did say I could send messages to her on WhatsApp though, if I felt like it. I don't know why I'm feeling so apprehensive about it. :( Maybe it's because I feel like I would be disturbing her during all this pandemic crap. Do you guys think it might be a good idea to text her? I th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 07:13 AM
5

Girl should "thank u, next" this guy lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 06:12 AM
18

They would think it's mean if they drum roll thought women are people too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 06:09 AM
1

I can't afford therapy right now because I'm just a student, and talking about this to the uni counsellor is sorta awkward :/ (I've only talked to her about the more emotional aspects) I feel like I can check out some online resources and do it by myself because there was no actual sex involved, so there's not too much to get over? I dunno. Thanks, I did feel a whole lot better after dumping him, he was very insecure and used to take it out on me. I've written about it in one of my posts on anot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 04:44 AM
3

That sounds awful, are you okay now?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 06:32 PM
3

Are you doing okay now? So sorry that happened to you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 06:30 PM
10

Apparently he even waterboarded her and pressed her face into a wet towel. This post is too scary for me. Holy crap. I can't even imagine being with someone like him, it just fucks with my head so much. I hope she gets out soon. RIP tonight's sleep. I hope his abusive ass goes to jail and stays there for a long fucking time. Fucking asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 06:28 PM
20

I feel similarly. One of my best friends once told me that being a bitch is underrated. Used to happen to me too, I used to say something and one of my former friends would pass it off as his own idea and get appreciation and stuff, and I just used to feel like nobody was listening to me at all. I try to make sure my girl friends aren't talked over in group discussions (or any women for that matter). I don't remember if I succeeded anytime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 06:04 PM
44

Oh God he reopened her incision what the fuck? She needs to leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 06:30 AM
3

So I just got out of an abusive almost-relationshit seven months ago, and when I was feeling all the bad emotions when I was processing what happened to me -- emotions like anger, guilt, betrayal, sadness, relief, bitterness etc -- it was easy for me to write poetry about it because everything was so raw. But now that I've mostly processed everything and worked on myself and dumped toxic people from my life, I've found I can't write poetry anymore! At least not the sad, serious kind. I really wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 06:05 AM
2

I just watched that movie yesterday night! It's really good. I think you guys will be able to sit through it as long as you don't break immersion. :D enjoy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 04:54 AM
1

He sent me an email yesterday apologizing and telling me he'd blocked my abuser. I just laughed and blocked his email address when I saw it. Whatever he's said reeks of a lack of emotional intelligence (the specific phrases he's used, I mean). I don't wanna engage with that kind of BS anymore. I'm done. Need to get back to studying and writing poetry and playing my video game. I actually haven't written anything in months; it's hard to get into that zone when you've been so pissed off for so lon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 04:51 AM
2

Oh okay, that's good to know. But try to make sure you're not staying with him just because he motivates you to do stuff and as a result you're giving him free passes for this sort of behaviour from him. Maybe use something like the Pomodoro technique to stay focused? Or if you find doing chores is boring, put some music on to help you power through (my brother and I do this when we have to clean our rooms). Or create a reward system, e.g. something like "if I finish washing this sink fill of di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 06:39 AM
31

Mate you don't need to salvage a relationship with someone who doesn't care about you. He's shown you what he thinks not once, but multiple times. Dump him and move on. HVM are always out there. Any man you end up dating should be attentive to your needs from the get-go. Sure, it might be a tiny bit awkward the first time (or maybe not) when you're telling each other what you like and stuff, but he should be attentive to your needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 05:00 AM
3

Just because someone does chores around the house, it doesn't make them an HVM. And just because you don't feel like wearing makeup or doing nails that doesn't make you any less of a woman. Honestly, if he's holding things like that against you when he talks to you, you need to get to therapy asap (not with him. Alone). Are you sure being around him isn't draining for you and affecting your motivation in general? Maybe look into that. I might be projecting here, but for me, after I dumped my abu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 05:26 PM
6

Go to r/FemaleLevelUpStrategy Why don't you believe in yourself? Genuine question, not trying to be mean. Don't make excuses for him, he knows what he said. And you know he said that too. It's so disrespectful and creepy. I would not want that man around my girl friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 12:05 PM
1

Yeah exactly! People tend to be very short-sighted about things when they're not affected as much. I think men buy into it because they don't want to feel guilty, and women buy into it because they don't want to feel scared. But the sad reality is that it requires a large number of people to affect thought processes as deep-rooted as these. Political parties benefit from the status quo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 04:53 AM
5

Eh, I think calling them monsters just takes away from the fact that they're still men. This book called The Gulag Archipelago was recommended to me once, it talks about how seemingly normal people can betray and murder their fellow humans. I haven't read it yet, but it might be useful. Calling them monsters allows us to conveniently ignore the larger problem of rape culture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 06:35 AM
6

It's worse if your conservative parents approve of the guy because then you know for sure it ain't gonna last 😂 with those screwed up relationship dynamics. God even on OLD most Indian men (even the more educated ones that call themselves well-read --- IMO if you're a guy you're not well read unless you know about some details of the feminist movement, and, more importantly, unless you agree with most core axioms of the feminist movement) don't give a crap about who you are as a person and immed…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 05:12 AM
3

Oh I thought OP meant that they didn't know they would be hanged after they were found guilty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 07:10 PM
4

I have used this strategy so many times over the last few years to get my male family members to do stuff around the house. It sorta works.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 01:06 PM
5

Oh. Yeah it's always good to dump an LVM, more power to you! Hope you feel better soon. 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:46 PM
5

They knew, they just didn't care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:21 PM
5

How are you doing now, are you alright?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:19 PM
17

All these middle class chauvinistic men desperately try to "protect" their daughters by keeping them sheltered from the outside world because they know that >90% of men she will meet outside are creeps or potential rapists, telling her not to wear short clothes (if they are Hindu, they will tell her not to marry a Muslim man. Personally I think all major religions are misogynistic and I would never date or marry a religious person) etc. It's like in the US where older brothers get pissed at thei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:18 PM
50

Trigger warning for this comment. Meanwhile Indian law enforcement and Indian society at large is going to use these hangings as a temporary band-aid to avoid confronting the reality that rapists are literally everywhere. The same thing happened with the Hyderabad police encounter. As long as the public is kept appeased with the more violent rapists being hanged, nobody will give two shits about the rest of India's daughters. E.g. the Unnao rape case where the perpetrators burnt the victim alive…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 05:10 AM
13

😂😂😂 nice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 04:25 PM
2

Oh okie, I misinterpreted :D But yeah it is annoying how many men are just allowed to pull shit like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 06:59 AM
5

But he shouldn't be allowed to get away with it. That's the whole point of FDS. Or switch allowed to encouraged, that works too. No free passes for any man, rich or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 05:17 AM
3

Thank God it's not him lol I just talked to another woman he dated (is dating?). My narc abusive ex goes through women like paranoid Americans go through toilet paper during a pandemic. I'm just glad his gf found me and talked to me so she could make an informed decision about (not) dating him. Turns out he lied to her about staying in touch with an ex who wanted nothing to do with him. Dunno what she's decided since we don't talk about him anymore. I guess I should just drop any thoughts about …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 12:49 PM
14

Hmmm... Are y'all living in Maryland by any chance? I never had sex with my ex because he refused to be in a committed relationship with me, but this sounds a lot like him. Are you sure he really is that caring and isn't just putting up a front to get in your pants? Sorry if this is offensive but I feel asking these questions point-blank is better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 06:27 AM
4

Go to the subreddit and find the original post. Or use Google. Or maybe don't assume people can't be drugged and taken advantage of when they're "sleeping". We need to consider all the possibilities like the person who replied to you said; it's important if we want to avoid traumatizing women who have been raped/ assaulted even further. Just need to be more sensitive and cautious about things. And less defensive. That helps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 06:35 PM
4

Purragraphs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 09:18 AM
7

I hope they tore him down in the comments. :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 06:18 AM
2

Here, found it: https://polyamory-metoo.com/ I dunno if they've talked about it on the site, but a pod is defined as a group of people you would go to or approach in case you have problems with someone in the polyamory community (to put it broadly), usually they're people you trust. What's weird in this case is that the guy who's been accused of abusing his partners went around on Quora saying HIS ex abused HIM. I used to actually like reading some of his answers there before I found out about t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 06:27 AM
2

Oh no restorative justice and reformative justice are two different things. I don't know much about restorative justice, just that there's this MeToo case going on in the polyamory community against a very famous person (in the community). The survivors in that case have formed what's called a pod, and the abuser has also formed a pod, and the pods are in contact with each other (not the actual survivors and abuser). Haven't read anything besides that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 05:49 AM
6

TL;DR: First paragraph. I haven't read any legal definitions, but from my understanding, the current judicial system is retributive; it punishes people for their actions, quarantines them for a period of time, but -- apparently -- doesn't give them adequate resources to attempt to change their behaviour (or analyze harmful behavioural patterns in themselves). Reformative justice would, theoretically, entail keeping prisoners in habitable conditions (unlike the prisons we have in the US, where sa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 05:39 PM
24

Thankfully most of the comments on that post say it's okay to not forgive your abuser/ assaulter/ rapist. And that this guy should rot behind bars, and that his tears were an act. All of which I fully believe. I used to support reformative justice back when I was 16-18, but as I was exposed to the horror of how cruel most men are capable of being over the years, I find it difficult that reformative measures such as psychotherapy or some form of re-education will actually affect these men. I thin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 12:24 PM
29

Literally taking no effort to find any other hobbies and then they sit and whine about how their lives are going nowhere. Oh also not going to therapy (bar the cases in which they probably can't afford it and things like that) :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 08:08 AM
26

Thenk 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 08:02 AM
75

India is still stuck in the 70s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 07:50 AM
6

Is this guy from India? I'm from India and the way he's written makes it sound like he's Indian. I hope whoever got these messages blocked him. What a depraved dipshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 05:38 AM
12

I've been reading her memoir. As an assault/ abuse survivor, it's pretty tough to get through it without having strong emotional reactions (I mean, it was obvious that was going to happen to me, but I still felt like it was important for me to read it). I couldn't imagine how she felt writing it. Whenever I think about writing about what I went through I can barely last five minutes without feeling murderous rage, although I would say that I definitely have the writing chops to pull it off other…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 06:38 PM
4

That's good. It's always good to clear your head of Just LVM Things
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 06:28 PM
5

LOL nice word!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 04:39 PM
3

That's disgusting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 04:36 PM
5

Damn that guy sounds like a train wreck, did you block him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 04:34 PM
15

Ugh same here. My ex actually coerced me into sending nudes (don't know what the fuck has happened to them now) and sexually assaulted me for the entire time we were almost together, and then before I broke up with him he had the audacity to tell me, "Yeah I already said sorry for making you do that, take it or leave it!" I was like Okay I'll leave then and blocked his pornsick dumb ass. Our entire friend group has blocked him. I've blocked people that said to me that he didn't do anything wrong…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 04:32 PM
1

Oh Thanks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 03:51 PM
5

What does whiplash mean exactly?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 05:46 PM
20

No better society to be kicked out from than an LVH (low value human) society hehe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 04:47 PM
19

Reminds me of doublethink from 1984.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 09:26 AM
2

LMAO that's brilliant
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 06:21 AM
18

Lol it doesn't seem that guy goes to a therapist or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 05:12 AM
1

He needs a Food and Drug Administration Queen hehehe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 04:31 AM
101

Yeah meanwhile us women just need to avoid being raped or murdered or groped/ assaulted in broad daylight /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 05:52 AM
2

Uh do you all think we should @ her here or should we just drop it (I don't know really; I feel like any conversation on my end would be exhausting for me since it's already around 10:30 at night here, but if anyone else wants to try you can go ahead)?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 04:50 PM
36

The part that applies to me the most right now is the Action phase. I visit this sub almost every day, plan to read the books mentioned in the sidebar (right after finishing this cool novel I'm reading right now), am reading for my thesis starting this year, subtly dropping hints to my brother about how to be an HVM (he's a bit of a prick though; would appreciate some tips on how to get through to men who've been raised in abusive family dynamics). Edit: thanks for the replies, everyone! I'm act…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 03:25 PM
16

Hehe scrote mad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 03:20 PM
8

She did go to a doctor though, they told her everything was fine. She said her bf said something along the lines of "this doctor clearly doesn't know shit so you might as well listen to me". UGH1000
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 03:18 PM
12

She is literally defending him on the OP. I tried explaining why what he did is problematic but nope, obviously this is just a one-time thing and you totally shouldn't dump partners who disrespect you. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 11:10 AM
8

"ok cool good talk" LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 07:30 AM
9

Ew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 07:20 AM
15

I guess that sentiment is more directed to women who refuse to come out of it? And refuse to take responsibility for themselves?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 05:21 AM
5

Goodness, that must have been very hard for you. I can't imagine. I'm worried about my friend too, he's dug himself a hole but I can't put myself on the line again. Yeah the past few months have been really enlightening for me. People that I wasn't expecting to understand have been very understanding. I did have one idiot try to ask me what I would do in a situation where I was an abuser. I was like WRONG TIME MATE. Some people really are clueless (it bugs me why they choose to be, they literall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 05:47 PM
6

True; I used to be in a group with the two of them and all they (we) used to do was talk about our problems. I didn't realize it at the time but the environment was pretty toxic. Initially he was surprised when I told him (I even told him that the abuser would not paint himself in a bad light and that he shouldn't be trusted) -- but I feel like if he really cared about me and if he were listening to me with half a brain, he wouldn't have been so surprised at learning that the abuser has done thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 05:15 PM
5

I know, right?! Why the fuck do we as a society even give them any room? It doesn't make sense. I don't think they'll change while their lives are picture perfect. It takes something bad to shake their worldviews. His ex-girlfriend had it much worse than I did, too. They were in a relationship for four whole years, can't imagine what she must have gone through (I did strike up a conversation with her, but not about him because I wanted to talk about other things, and quite frankly that arsehole …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 05:11 PM
7

Oh yeah that's definitely true. I thought he would be more understanding because he's had problems with homophobia from straight men in the past and knows the sort of depravity that goes around. Yeah I didn't think I'd have to be en garde with my friend. I don't talk to any of my abuser's other friends (the ones that don't know about this) much anyway, because I don't want to hear anything about him. He told me once his life's ambition was to win the most prestigious award in his field. I was ju…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 03:23 PM
22

Yikes, I wouldn't want to be in her place after she realizes she's been raped. I don't know what makes men do this, but reading things like this makes me want to swear off dating and become a vigilante and smash all these narcs in the skull.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 09:44 AM
8

Living with cats looks like a very attractive position in this day and age XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 06:01 AM
4

That's a very destructive idea; it's basically blaming yourself for getting into abusive relationships, which is standard PickMe behaviour. And that idea also perpetuates the notion that some women "deserve" to be in abusive relationships, which is toxic and misogynistic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 04:25 PM
2

I love Dylan Thomas's work! :D especially that poem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 09:19 AM
1

I think of writing a show/ script myself sometimes to counter this; I'm more into writing poetry for now but I do hope I'll be able to write a screenplay someday... If only to rest assured that I did something against sexism on some scale.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 07:38 AM
3

What a blob. SMH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 06:32 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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