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pheonix-in-the-ashes Archive

View 2 posts and 23 comments by pheonix-in-the-ashes on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Yup. I agree with the above poster. I am dating a smoker but he doesn’t smoke super frequently. I have been pushing him to be healthier and he has agreed he needs to make some changes and is very open to modifying his lifestyle. Now with that said smoking is a bit of a deal breaker for me but my guy is very special. We have agreed on changes we want to make and are actively working on ourselves. I am confident that he will quit smoking and lately he has been talking about setting a quit date. Yo…
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/19 02:26 PM
1

I don’t agree. I’m not trying to get in a Reddit debate over communication styles. You really shouldn’t be offended that I don’t take your advice... it’s great advice it just isn’t a good fit for my relationship. I’m not controlling outcomes. I’m communicating in a way that is comfortable for me and my captain.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/19 04:08 PM
1

You haven’t met my captain, lol. That is sorta a blanket statement that doesn’t really apply to my relationship. Look I realize that direct communication is best in many situations but that isn’t my style for this situation. This isn’t just me in this relationship and we prefer this approach. It’s our dynamic. When necessary we are direct. As mentioned in my opinion I would prefer to not be... because that is kinda my entire point. I want to be surprised. I don’t want to pick out my ring or have…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/19 04:04 PM
1

This is really great advice but honestly way too direct for me. I’m really not trying to be all that direct with the discussion of the ring. Don’t get me wrong I’m direct at times but with this I think he will feel much more comfortable with a gentle nudge then a full out conversation on it. This requires a little more strategy and finessing. I legit do not want to talk about this. I would like to be surprised and play no role in the proposal. So asking about the Pinterest board is like way over…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/19 03:15 PM
4

I see where you are coming from. For me... I compartmentalize and that works for me. My BF is a natural born leader which helps. I trust his opinions and ability to make decisions for us. In my career I am a force of nature. I take the lead and get that out of my system at work. When I’m with the BF it is nice to sit back a little. With that said my suggestion is to find an appropriate outlet for your dominate nature. Another thing... when it comes to arguments or disagreements. I also try to re…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/19 02:22 PM
3

I’m actually going to agree with this. Clubs are likely a bad place and it depends on what country you are in as well. I like pubs or quieter bars. I usually have a bar I frequent where I know the bartenders and hang out. I meet a lot of different men at this place. However, this bar is located in an area where a lot of nice business men come after work so they are high quality types in their 30’s. I don’t do clubs with the exception of a swing or salsa club. The type of place where they give da…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/18 05:22 PM
2

Sigh. You have a different perspective than me. Just accept it and move on.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/18 09:28 PM
2

That’s not what I meant at all. I’m Catholic so my beliefs on sex are very conservative. I don’t use sex to resolve relationship issues. Vetting isn’t preventing me from treating him special. I just don’t agree that sex is the only way to make someone feel special. Not to say I don’t have sex but I am guarding my heart. It isn’t manipulative to acknowledge the relationship between husband and wife is different than that between that of a couple dating. It really all depends on where the relation…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/18 04:28 PM
1

Thanks for explaining this helps. I agree and I don’t let conflicts go on for days or extended periods of time. I am basically saying that the issue needs to be addressed before I am comfortable. That means sorting it out first. If he initiated mid conflict I’m not going to reciprocate. I definitely treat him in a way that is special. But I think it is important that I distinguish between how I treat a boyfriend and husband. I probably wasn’t super clear in how I explained it. I’m conflicted on …
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/18 04:10 PM
3

It isn’t about a bad mood, really. It is about needing to resolve conflict before filling his needs specifically if mine aren’t being met. Like I said this is a rare occurrence and everyone is allowed to have their own opinion on how they handle conflict. I give it my all 99.9% of the time but if I am in conflict with him and it hasn’t been resolved I’m not going to have sex with him. Also, he isn’t a father and we aren’t married. Boyfriends don’t get the same privileges as husbands.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/18 03:46 PM
1

Yeah I pretty much always reciprocate. There is a rare instance I don’t and that’s if I’m mad at him for legit reasons. We have a weird situation where we only see each other every month or so... so the physical intimacy is pretty important when we have the opportunity.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/18 02:15 PM
1

No. His sex drive is fine now. His health issue is being managed. There are a lot of different factors that go into sexual health and libido. Some of them are natural but basically you can ward off some of the issues with healthier habits.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/18 06:16 PM
1

Support him having a healthy lifestyle. Eating well, working out, coping with stress in a healthy way. These things can all help with libido. It is normal as guy’s age for sex drive to drop and the body doesn’t handle running around the same way it did in its 20’s. I think for me a conversation would take place around this topic. I like to use I need and I want statements to communicate goals because my captain responds well to that approach. I feel like even if he is tired some foreplay should …
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/18 02:01 PM
2

Ouch. Yeah this flags as abusive to me. My personal opinion. Me and my alpha had a talk recently about my beta orbiters. We discussed that I keep those who had romantic interests away. That seems fair. We set boundaries together about acceptable behavior in our friends of the opposite sex. This was alright in my book because the focus was comfort and we are in a LDR so more trust is involved. Not having friends at all of the opposite sex seems really strict and shows a lack of trust. Even if it …
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/18 01:13 PM
21

Thank you. I felt weird about commenting on SMV prior. My alpha was very much interested in my success, ability to manage a home, and connections with family in addition to my level of attractiveness. I had a hard time understanding RPW because no doubt this guy is an alpha but it confused me because he seemed to value so much more. He is a full package guy. When we first started dating again (old college BF) he went a checked out my Linked In to see what I had been up to which displayed an imme…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/18 06:00 PM
2

I think someone else could probably answer. I’ll let other posters chime in if I get it wrong or they want to add to it. I don’t drop too many RPW phrases on my guy. I do emphasize him leading and letting me know when I should take control of a situation. An example would be planning a trip for instance. We are somewhat religious so I sometimes frame it through that. I also use traditional values as a way to frame it. I think it really depends on your dynamic and personalities. Saying I have tra…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/18 11:07 PM
10

I’m going through figuring this out as well but I will echo what another poster said. Vetting is a process that doesn’t stop until a ring is on your finger and vows are said. Even in the engagement phase you should be taking in information to be absolutely sure this man will be a good husband, father, provider, etc. Trust for me is a process. It builds. I assume they won’t cheat or hurt to a degree but protect my heart. I’m strategic on when I show certain levels of vulnerability and think it th…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/18 01:18 PM
18

I do a lot of targeted optimism. Making a list everyday of things I’m thankful for. I take a moment each day to walk in nature and find something ordinary that’s beautiful (sometimes I even grab a pic for IG). For me beaming happiness through anxiety and depression required me taking specific steps to being healthy. It’s time consuming and some days I don’t want to but I work the regimen I’ve created even on those tough days because it makes me feel safe and secure and helps pull me out of the r…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/18 12:49 PM
6

I’ve had a kid and gotten my body back. It takes time and hard work. It gets easier as they get older. I started by doing mommy and me workouts. Kiddo also liked when I did dance workouts she would laugh and dance along. I took her on walks a lot as a baby. Eating healthy also does wonders as well as avoiding drinking your calories (steer clear of the juice). I think you should be making sure you are healthy and happy.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/18 12:45 PM
12

I actually have always found the opposite but perhaps that’s a regional thing. In my current part of the US most liberal women are militant feminist who very greatly stray from femininity and adopt more masculine traits. I used to be one so I guess that’s why but my political beliefs more closely aligned with feminism than straight liberal beliefs. The caring and nurturing is more aligned with my religious beliefs than politics in my mind but that’s complicated. Once I explored why I became a fe…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/18 07:31 PM
0

I don’t think I’d ever sign a prenup per se. But that has a lot to do with where I live and I typically have more to lose. I take my financial health pretty seriously. I keep my income at over 50% disposable and save a lot.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/18 10:09 PM
2

So I think it’s important that you guys sit down and talk finances about the wedding (even if it’s still really far out). This is the perfect time to bring up the cost of an engagement ring and wedding bands (depending on your values in many circles the bride is supposed to purchase the husband’s band). This is my practical approach but I tend to be very strategic in how I approach the really important topics with the men in my life. If slip something like this into a bigger topic. While talking…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/18 09:48 PM
3

Savvy shopper here. I just identify what I like to spend money on (makeup). Everything else I spend consciously. For shopping I do a ton of Poshmark. I also rotate out my closet using Poshmark as well. Additionally, I hit a ton of thrift shops. I live in an affluent area so the thrift shops have some amazing finds. Look for one near a nice area and you can find some amazing stuff. I hit ma and pop style thrifts and make a trip to Goodwill or Salvation Army periodically. I find that dresses are u…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/18 11:46 AM
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