philinspirit Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
203	Feminists complain of being silenced by transsexual activists -- How Does It Feel?		philinspirit	/r/MensRights	12/05/13 03:34 PM
84	Double messages for men from AOC	masculinity	philinspirit	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	14/01/23 05:31 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
7	Men are scarce in childcare: 'The problem is with the parents' As a childcare worker here in the US, I can say the discrimination against men in a broad array of female-dominated occupations is pervasive and takes many forms. In general, it is analogous to what happens, or used to happen when women first entered male-dominated occupations. The main difference was while bias against women led to the implicit assumption that women were less competent, bias against men leads, in addition to the assumption of incompetence, to intense fear. As described by other…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	09/05/23 04:33 AM
6	Parenting or mothering? This appears to be from Australia. I have never been to Australia and don't know what the situation is there with male single parenting. In the United States where I live, about 25% of single parents are men. Nevertheless, much of the writing about parenting in the US uses the terms "parents" and "mothers" interchangeably -- fathers are tacitly assumed to be irrelevant. Even in social/psychological studies published in peer reviewed journals, the terms "parents" and "mothers" are often muddled o…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	24/04/23 12:49 AM
7	How to distinguish pathologization of male sexual desire from victim-blaming in the topic of clothing moderation? I start from the observation that women have sexual power. Most women put huge time and effort into maximizing their "hotness" using clothing, makeup, hair styles, jewelry, behavior and so forth, because it gives them power. They hardly ever do it because they want sexual interaction; they do it to manipulate male sexuality so that men are more likely to want to please them. True, women have sexual power over men regardless of whether they are "provocative" in appearance; but great effort is inv…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	04/03/23 07:48 AM
3	The "quiet loner" stereotype about mass shooters I relate to much of what you say about the experience of being autistic. When I was a kid, there was little knowledge of Asperger's Syndrome or "high functioning" autism (I'm 66 years old). But I realized when I entered adolescence that although I could do well in many school subjects and on many intellectual tasks, I was seriously deficient in my ability to connect with peers, make friends, or behave or dress in a way that others seemed to think was socially appropriate. I was totally rejected …	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	03/03/23 03:29 AM
3	I would like your opinion on this article about domestic violence. In my opinion, this article, and the many others like it, are probably accurate insofar as they conclude that, when men and women are asked in surveys about "intimate partner violence" (IPV) of any type or severity that they have experienced either as perpetrators or victims, both men and women report that men and women are perpetrators with about the same frequency, and that women in heterosexual relationships are the initiators of IPV a little more often than men. That is probably true, as far…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	26/01/23 02:03 AM
2	I don’t know what’s left Your comments suggest that you could be experiencing depression. If that is so, you might benefit from dealing with the depression first. I speak from experience: Depression is treatable. It comes in waves. You can learn to recognize a rising wave and tamp it down. The techniques of cognitive therapy worked for me -- you can find a cognitive therapist, or even benefit from a self-help book on cognitive therapy for depression. People sometimes also can benefit from medication. It takes courage fo…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	16/01/23 05:54 PM
1	A recent experience with the gender empathy gap and its potential for unseen impact Are we not in agreement, then, that we should avoid playing the blame game entirely? Men and women both typically behave the way they are socialized to behave. Patterns of socialization are largely the unconscious result of social evolution, and both men and women participate in them. So why not just look at the way we socialize boys and girls from a scientific perspective, and consider how we can move toward equal outcomes and equal life chances for both? The blame game is lose-lose.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	03/12/22 06:22 PM
1	What exactly is society's hesitation in speaking of men as having inherent worth? Perhaps we are thinking in terms of different definitions of "gender roles." For the foreseeable future, obviously there will be some people who have wombs and can bear children, others who can produce sperm and penetrate a vagina, and others who can do neither. But gender roles circumscribe a person's life choices in practically every domain based on these particular biological categories, and individuals are trained from early childhood to stay within the bounds of their gender roles, whatever…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	21/11/22 04:28 PM
2	What exactly is society's hesitation in speaking of men as having inherent worth? I agree that gender roles probably evolved when early humans increased in population and entered areas with less abundance, so that human groups or societies in proximity to each other started to compete with each other for resources. In such a context, societies that had clearly defined gender roles, usually with men engaging in activities outside the home such as hunting, warfare and public life, and women focusing on child rearing, probably out-competed societies that did not have such define…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	20/11/22 08:05 PM
6	A recent experience with the gender empathy gap and its potential for unseen impact I can relate. My daughter had a life-threatening health crisis when she was an infant where she was hospitalized for 11 days, and for maybe 6 weeks afterward, it looked like she was not going to make it. Going through that was like walking into a furnace. (She's 29 and fine now!) But it is noticeable, then as now, that Moms get more empathy and support than Dads when something hard happens to a child. Women get a lot of support from other women, but men are socialized to compete with other men, …	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	12/11/22 07:47 PM
3	"I’m surprised at how little women hate men, they should hate them more" Wow, thank you. The white space really makes it much, much more readable. I'll try to remember to incorporate ample paragraph breaks in future posts and comments. And I'll try to pay more attention to the issue of readability in general. I tend to get immersed in analytical thinking and forget that I'm communicating with actual humans!	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	17/06/22 01:53 PM
4	Some sources on the role and importance of fathers in child psychology and well-being You make a good point. If I were an attorney representing a man in a child custody matter, I could imagine myself drawing the judge's attention to this study and similar studies that counter the anti-father biases that are so prevalent. The point that neither men nor women have any special skill solely on account of their gender is perhaps more salient in other contexts where men encounter discrimination, such as in childcare, social service, or medical work where women are assumed to be superio…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	14/06/22 02:16 AM
3	Some sources on the role and importance of fathers in child psychology and well-being Breastmilk also is (I believe) more digestible for a lot of infants. Where breastmilk is an option, the advantages of breastmilk need to be weighed. But there are many circumstances where breastmilk is not a practical option. In those cases, babies do fine on formula. So as I'm sure we would all agree, the advantages of breastmilk are not a justification for discrimination against male parents, which is the main point relative to this discussion thread.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	13/06/22 09:01 PM
4	Some sources on the role and importance of fathers in child psychology and well-being The Whitley article referenced (only the abstract is available to me) appears to argue that child custody reform is necessary to reflect the special role that male parents have in a child's development. I agree that men and women should be treated the same in child custody decisions, and abhor the discrimination against male parents that exists in family courts. However, I disagree with the notion that fathers inherently have something special, referred to by Whitley as a "masculine influence," …	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	13/06/22 08:38 PM
10	"I’m surprised at how little women hate men, they should hate them more" Attacking men as a group has been a habit for a long time in feminist and "progressive" circles. Both men and women in progressive circles engage in these attacks. They don't see it as harmful; in fact, they see it as socially constructive. Men need to stop oppressing women, and maybe if the chorus of criticism gets loud enough, men will change -- that seems to be the thinking. But this thinking fails in multiple ways. First, it is founded on notions of group guilt; that somehow, all men are res…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	12/06/22 02:11 AM
2	Born bad Seems to me that the idea that men have "original sin" is just another way of saying that men are morally inferior to women in some inherent way that results from their birth gender and that cannot be attributed to environmental influences. This belief underlies all the justification of discrimination against men and boys as well as the complacency about it -- at bottom, people can see that it's happening, but they believe we deserve it. And it's not only feminists who believe that women are mor…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	07/06/22 06:20 PM
7	LWMA Lounge Wow is this for real? I am a man who has been politically left my entire adult life. Most of my friends are liberal-to-radical leftists. None of them ever criticizes feminist dogma. Do people here really join with that mission statement? I sure hope so -- please don't let me down, people!	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	07/06/22 01:51 AM
1	25$ billion (and more to come) to be transferred to women's pockets. The only reason student debt is on the table is because it affects women. 70% of student loans are held by women. Yes, I can see why it seems unfair, especially if you made sacrifices to pay off your loans -- I'm sure a lot of people feel the same way. But it's also unfair that my parents paid my tuition, and you (and so many others) had to take out loans.	/r/MensRights	05/06/22 03:16 AM
1	25$ billion (and more to come) to be transferred to women's pockets. The only reason student debt is on the table is because it affects women. 70% of student loans are held by women. You assume everyone was just irresponsible, but I suspect that bad luck had a large role to play in most cases. Or, perhaps most often some combination of dumb choices (made at a very early age and perhaps with the encouragement of elders), exploitation by profit seeking banks and schools, and lousy luck. Personally, I am not in a position to make judgments -- my parents covered my college tuition. It was a lot cheaper in those days (1974-78), and getting through without a loan was thinkable for…	/r/MensRights	05/06/22 01:57 AM
1	New York Post: Where are the men of courage? They’re gone thanks to ‘toxic masculinity’. You make an interesting point.	/r/MensRights	04/06/22 06:13 AM
0	25$ billion (and more to come) to be transferred to women's pockets. The only reason student debt is on the table is because it affects women. 70% of student loans are held by women. I'm personally in favor of canceling student loans because it helps a lot of people, both men and women, many of whom were exploited by profiteers, get out from under crushing financial obligations they unwisely took on when they were very young. I don't agree that cancellation of student debt is on the table only because it benefits women more -- although this certainly may be part of the appeal for some. Regardless, I do think it is interesting that 70% of student loans are held by women, beca…	/r/MensRights	04/06/22 06:11 AM
2	New York Post: Where are the men of courage? They’re gone thanks to ‘toxic masculinity’. I'm responding to a statement that reads: "If I see a woman attacked on the street ..." That is why my response refers to specifically to women. But of course, you're right that it should make no difference whether the person attacked is a man or a woman -- one's ethical duties should be the same. The idea that men have some special duty to protect women is clearly inconsistent with notions of gender equality.	/r/MensRights	04/06/22 05:29 AM
3	New York Post: Where are the men of courage? They’re gone thanks to ‘toxic masculinity’. Glad I asked! Yes, a good edit to my comment.	/r/MensRights	03/06/22 03:43 AM
2	New York Post: Where are the men of courage? They’re gone thanks to ‘toxic masculinity’. What does "FTFY" mean?	/r/MensRights	03/06/22 03:31 AM
2	New York Post: Where are the men of courage? They’re gone thanks to ‘toxic masculinity’. I guess we have very different ideas about ethics. I would say the Golden Rule applies to all, not just one's own in-group. The compassion that is urged by every major religion and every view of ethics must be universal, or it is not compassion at all. And these behaviors you attribute to women as a group obviously do not apply to all women and can't rationally be imputed to women one does not know. Even if your reasoning is guided by a justified or understandable anger born of circumstances oth…	/r/MensRights	03/06/22 03:25 AM
4	New York Post: Where are the men of courage? They’re gone thanks to ‘toxic masculinity’. Courage is great to have, but women are just as capable of courage as men. Like that woman who evicted that possum from the bar in Brooklyn. No way I would have picked up that critter with my bare hands!	/r/MensRights	03/06/22 02:35 AM
3	New York Post: Where are the men of courage? They’re gone thanks to ‘toxic masculinity’. Yikes, so many things wrong with this article. Apparently the author thinks that the police officers in the recent Texas school shooting were lacking courage when my impression is that they were just following orders coming from a source that not only possessed legitimate authority, but presumably would have had better access to information about what was actually going on. Does the author not consider respect for authority to be a positive masculine trait? What about calm reasoning under pressu…	/r/MensRights	03/06/22 02:14 AM
2	New York Post: Where are the men of courage? They’re gone thanks to ‘toxic masculinity’. I think your reasoning is flawed here, because you if you refuse to help an individual woman because of what women have done as a group, you are assuming group guilt -- the idea that every individual woman is responsible for the behavior of women as a group. In fact, what you (or I, or anyone) should do if we see a woman being attacked on the street, is to try to help her any way we can, if at all possible. Because of course, she is not individually responsible for whatever you are angry about, …	/r/MensRights	03/06/22 01:39 AM
1	Because of the recent confession bear claiming that women get paid less than men for the same job, I think it's important for everyone to know it isn't true. - [4:00] (found in /r/videos) I think the video is right on. It sure has been frustrating to hear over and over again about how women earn 75% (they used to say 60%) of what men earn because of discrimination in the workplace, when everyday experience in the workplace has told us this could not be true. We could observe women making the choices the video talks about, could clearly see that this explained their lower overall earnings, and yet none of the "experts" seemed to be able to see this. A couple of other points: (1) i…	/r/MensRights	27/07/13 04:15 AM
1	MRA tells me, "Women have never been oppressed,"--any opinions? In my mind, in the contemporary US the chief form that oppression of women takes is internalized oppression. Women's internalized oppression is exhibited in many of the women I know in their inability to assert themselves, in their passivity, their tendency to identify as victims. Their unwillingness to compete, to state their opinion, to engage in constructive conflict, to fight for what they want. Their tendency to self-evaluate in negative terms and worry about the negative judgments of other…	/r/MensRights	04/07/13 04:10 PM
2	With all the subreddit drama today, let's remember that (hopefully) the key idea of both MRAs and feminists is equality under the law and equal rights. Let's build bridges, not burn them. I have no problem with respectful dialogue with people who call themselves "feminists" or others who may not understand an authentic men's perspective. However, I question the idea that "equality" is a key idea of feminists. Not only do "feminists" seldom actually talk or think about equality and what that really means; most actually believe that men are morally inferior to women. Most "feminists" believe to the core that women are inherently good and men are inherently bad. Thus, they are not c…	/r/MensRights	04/07/13 04:25 AM
2	Single Dads on the rise in the US. I'm glad that single dads are getting some notice, but the article is subtly biased. There is a lot of emphasis in the article on how single moms are still greater in number; that's not the point. The point is that single dads are nearly a quarter of single parents, yet are seldom even mentioned in studies of parenting or given any attention in the social service or nonprofit world. The article emphasizes how moms still spend more time with kids, framing child care as a burden, while emphasizing…	/r/MensRights	04/07/13 03:29 AM
2	Boys Punished for Being Boys I agree that ADHD is an important issue, but it is not the only issue. The reality is that typical classrooms are a lousy way to teach typical boys. They are also lousy for typical girls, but they are even worse for typical boys, who tend to be more active and less compliant. Modern curricula and methods, whether intentionally or not, tend to cater to the interests and personalities of typical girls. In my mind, the real scandal is that despite boys doing so much worse, there is so little advoca…	/r/MensRights	04/07/13 03:08 AM
1	Dear the Mens Rights Movement, This has been a helpful discussion. Sorry about the offensive comments. Please just "scrape it off" and stay with us. I've gotten some offensive comments and also downvotes that seem unjustified, just for expressing opinions that some disgreed with. But if you are true to yourself, which you obviously are, you are going to get that kind of thing. I think it's important that candor be encourged in this forum, because the biggest obstacle that the men's movement faces is that many men, and I would…	/r/MensRights	02/06/13 03:29 PM
0	Where do you as a man seek emotional support? Because I need some. A lot of guys have found support in men's groups of various kinds. If you can't find one, then perhaps you can find an organization or activity that draws mostly or entirely men, then make of point of connecting with other men.	/r/MensRights	19/05/13 03:33 PM
1	A friend of mine submitted a list of reason's why she's a feminist. I create a similar list for MR. Thanks for your thoughtful reply. As I should have made more clear, I am making many generalizations, none of which apply to all women. I would not presume to know why you dress how you dress; and I know that what women wear is often not exactly what they would choose. I have so often heard women complain, and not without reason, that it is so difficult to find practical bathing suits that they can swim in, and are comfortable wearing in public. However, I think my statement is true in many case…	/r/MensRights	19/05/13 06:45 AM
7	"Welcome to the Golden Age of Male Rage: Why are men so angry when women have it so much worse?" This is a actually a common theme from critics of the men's movement. I would advise against responding to the "women have it so much worse" claim, which never gets anywhere; instead, I would focus on the fact that there is widespread anger among men about the way they are treated as men. In fact, the anger is wider and deeper than most men let on. Now, does she really believe that all these men are angry for nothing? Because that is the weakness in her position. All this rage cannot be coming f…	/r/MensRights	19/05/13 04:38 AM
5	A friend of mine submitted a list of reason's why she's a feminist. I create a similar list for MR. A short supplemental list in random order: As long as only men must register for the draft ... As long as 49 out of 50 combat deaths are men ... As long as circumcision of infant boys is legal ... As long as men are not trusted with children ... As long as men are felt and believed to be morally inferior ... As long as men are considered responsible for income at all personal costs, while women may choose more enjoyable, less remunerative work in household, volunteer, or part-time capacity ... A…	/r/MensRights	30/04/13 03:45 AM
7	MRM is apparently offensive, uneeded, and not worth anyone's time. According to the DailyUW, college newspaper. "An open letter to men's rights activists" There is really no need to respond to this type of thing. The writer doesn't make falsifiable claims or substantive arguments -- it's just sloganeering. It's like: "women are oppressed and men aren't, nyah, nyah, nyah." We know that there are plenty of people who have this reaction to anything that is outside of the confines of feminist ideology. But's it's an encouraging that this piece would appear in a college newspaper. It means that men's issues are starting to appear on the radar of younge…	/r/MensRights	18/04/13 11:12 PM
3	Is circumcision worth it to prevent venereal diseases? Thank you, GuitarsAreKindaCool. In my mind, this is the most effective argument against circumcision as currently practiced.	/r/MensRights	10/04/13 03:00 AM
1	Research request: Masculism - what is its origin? I personally prefer the term "masculism" to "men's rights," although if there are negative historical or political associations with "masculism," I could be persuaded to look for another term. I don't like "men's rights" because I don't think the movement for men is primarily about rights, as in legal rights. I think it's a movement to redefine men as equal to women socially and culturally. There are certainly legal issues, like the open, blatant and hypocritical discrimination by the Selective …	/r/MensRights	08/04/13 02:16 AM
0	Coaching abuse @ Rutgers. How do MRAs feel about this? Absolutely intolerable. And yes, it has everything to do with men's rights as properly conceived, or at least our liberation. We not only tolerate the physical and emotional abuse of boys and men, we claim it's good for them. I don't think most coaches of boys are nearly this bad -- but many coaches and teachers inflict physical and emotional abuse on boys in ways that would never be tolerated with girls. What we're seeing in this video is the tip of the iceberg.	/r/MensRights	03/04/13 12:13 AM
11	Men who oppose women's rights and freedom As a man who has worked in various capacities with young children, I can relate. I have a graduate degree in special ed; teaching experience; have cared for preschoolers and toddlers for many years in volunteer and professional capacities; and raised two of my own children in full partnership with my wife, while working only part time. But any 12-year-old girl is assumed to be more competent than me with kids. My views on kids and education are ignored. My ideas and suggestions don't make it int…	/r/MensRights	19/03/13 03:32 AM
3	I’d like to support 1 Billion Rising. But I can’t. I’m too aware of its enormous blind spot to get involved. The movement, like most others around domestic violence, fails to acknowledge that men are I can't find the study she is talking about. She refers to a 2010 study by the Centers for Disease Control. But the 2010 report by the CDC on its survey of Intimate Partner Violence seems to say that women are twice as likely as men to report (in the survey) having been a victim of "serious" intimate partner violence at some point in their lives. Although the CDC report clearly indicates that there is a lot of IPV against men, it seems to be saying there is twice as much (or so) against women. (…	/r/MensRights	22/02/13 04:47 AM
-2	study: when domestic violence is one-sided, in 70% of the cases, women were the perpetrators I think the confusion about domestic violence results from both feminists and men's rights activists conflating two separate phenomena -- (Type I) ordinary physical fighting in relationships in which power is shared, which usually does not escalate to serious injury and death -- these studies may be telling us that this kind of thing is very common and that women are more often the perpetrators; and (Type II) relationships in which one party is pathologically obsessed with power and control, whi…	/r/MensRights	18/02/13 04:16 PM