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phynali Archive

View 1 post and 41 comments by phynali on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

The point here is that the product being sold is a woman though. The discounts are to bring women in, attracting more men to the bar as well (to be around available women). Since the women aren't paying (as much) for the product, they themselves are the product. Or, as someone said below, they're the advertising.
/r/MensRights18/07/13 04:53 PM
6

I read it as satire, a kind of "Good God if I'm not allowed to have a sticker now, not allowed to style my hair, not allowed to dress in a freaking skirt... I quit, time for a sex-change" joke. People are constantly throwing silly advice at women ("swing your arms when you walk because rapists like easy targets and it makes you seem more aggressive???") and I think that poster was just tired of hearing B.S.
/r/MensRights18/07/13 04:36 PM
3

Given that women can trust highly attractive men more and fall into similar "traps", I have pondered that , by denying ovulation (and all the hormonal things it entails, including responding to male scents and pheromones differently) has been acting in a similar way to this antibiotic for quite some time without conscious acknowledgement or awareness by the general public. Women dress, act, spend, and interact (with men and women) differently when they are ovulating vs. not ovulating. There's ev…
/r/MensRights18/07/13 04:27 PM
1

I enjoy that perspective of MGTOW. I think what bothered me the most was how much of a "transaction" everything becomes, and because that isn't typical of my experience, having it laid out in that way seemed very foreign to me. Essentially though, if the spirit of MGTOW is "do what you want" then I think that it is a good thing. I actually think women have been receiving that message for about a generation now, at least in progressive areas ("want a career? go have one. want babies? go have some…
/r/MensRights18/07/13 02:52 PM
1

Honestly, this was very powerful. Thank you for the long and thoughtful reply. I feel sorry that it's late, and that I don't have much to add. I agree that there is an evolutionary reason why men would be hard-wired as protectors, and with some understanding of evolutionary psychology in my back pocket, that made intuitive sense. (As an aside, I think particularly short women may be attracted to particularly tall/large men because smaller women need extra defence?) On the matter of false accusat…
/r/MensRights18/07/13 05:54 AM
1

I agree in teaching women basic safety. To mean, victim-blaming is more that when young women ask "how do we avoid rape?" they are told "don't dress like sluts" (which famously happened in Canada...). I find it to be an interesting analogy. I feel that women who consent to sex while drunk aren't raped (if regretful) but that it does occur where someone is intoxicated and doesn't want sex, but is incapable of saying no or is forced despite (weak and drunken) protests. It is not horribly uncommon …
/r/MensRights18/07/13 05:40 AM
1

I didn't think anyone here was boorish, which was why I was posting. However, I had heard of "male spaces" and wanted to ascertain whether I was infringing, particularly because I couldn't tell the genders of any commenters and there was nothing mentioned about female posters in the sidebar. Also, I recognize what MGTOW is and I've read a great deal about it one their website. I found it extreme because the higher levels advocate withdrawing from society altogether, and to me, that level of avoi…
/r/MensRights18/07/13 05:29 AM
1

I have seen it, and its not just the media--the criminal justice system completely disregards male rape victims. I have always found this horrifying.
/r/MensRights18/07/13 05:21 AM
1

I laughed/smiled when I read this, because yes, I am a bit like Lisa in the 'crusader' thing... I like to learn about social issues and grow my perspective though, as much as I'm able. And upon finding out how many other women there are on this "football" team, I'm quite excited!
/r/MensRights18/07/13 05:18 AM
1

I read all of this, and typed a response to all of it, then my computer refreshed and it's gone. Basically, thanks for the detailed response :) I agree with you about most of it, had heard a lot of it before, and my definition of rape culture is apparently not the accepted definition (I was referring more to slut shaming and victim blaming, really the victim-blaming, and am quickly realizing that this goes for many crimes beyond rape). Also, one thing I do want to properly respond to--child abus…
/r/MensRights18/07/13 05:15 AM
1

Unfortunately, victim-blaming isn't really the way you describe it in most cases. Sure, it can be veiled as advice, but saying "well you shouldn't walk home alone at night if you don't want to get raped" doesn't come off as advice; it comes off as an attack, and an unfair one because this person is likely already blaming themselves and doesn't need to hear that. As /u/only_does_reposts mentioned, they already know that. Analogously, telling women "don't dress like a slut" as a means to avoid sex…
/r/MensRights18/07/13 05:12 AM
1

That's the hard part, isn't it? Really, I didn't know the "innocently accused" thing was such a problem, but it's been mentioned plenty of times in this thread already. I thought it was something that was extremely uncommon, because so many women want to avoid the social stigma of being a victim and the legal/court hassle that they don't report, so why on earth would anyone want to go through that for a lie? I see the social reasons of a woman lying about it to friends/family, but a woman taking…
/r/MensRights18/07/13 05:08 AM
2

/u/Grapeban was just pointing out that the extreme definition of rape culture isn't what a lot of people actually mean to imply when they use the term (and when I used it, I didn't even know it had such an extreme definition...)
/r/MensRights18/07/13 05:01 AM
1

Actually, I know three women who have had their drink spiked, two of which resulted in a friend/brother taking the woman home immediately, and the third of which resulted in the woman being raped. It does happen unfortunately :/ But no, I don't think society at large approves of rape; I'm starting to think the issue lies largely in the media, not in the collective consciousness. I also know some people who've had issues with authorities and the criminal justice system, but the person who had the…
/r/MensRights18/07/13 04:58 AM
1

I don't get why people don't realize this is a thing :( It has always been obvious to me that this is a thing, and it makes no sense otherwise. If we teach a woman that she can get wet during sexual assault without actually mentally wanting the action, doesn't it just stand to reason that a man can get hard the same way? And aren't we taught that its easier for men to get hard anyway?
/r/MensRights18/07/13 04:55 AM
1

I really wish that there wasn't such a culture of fear instilled in us actually. I do know women who've been attached on their way to their car/home, but at the same time, not in residential areas (though I'm sure that happens). Mostly, I hate that if I tell my father on the phone "hey dad, got to go, gonna head out for a walk" he freaks out if it's later than 6pm. Seriously? You're right, our culture is obsessed with seeing everything as sexual, and everything as rape. I think the media discove…
/r/MensRights18/07/13 04:53 AM
2

This! I had never given male circumcision much thought until about two years ago when a friend pointed out to be the simple truth: we're mutilating the genitals of infant (and grown!) males, often without their consent, or with a totally indoctrinated consent. Yikes :/ Also, I think women are more comfortable being against circumcision because so many men who've been circumcised don't really want to come to terms with the reality of what happened to them.
/r/MensRights18/07/13 04:49 AM
3

I'm not just telling it to reddit :) I told a friend today about how much more inclusive this place is than feminism. He balked a bit when I told him I joined the MensRights subreddit, but came around when I point out that it was inclusive and didn't have the same vitriol of feminism (he's really an egalitarianist but doesn't have the definitions down yet)
/r/MensRights18/07/13 04:46 AM
1

That's a good point. Honestly, I was thinking about it today and I've come to realize that I have a major issue with how child-abuse (sexual specifically) is dealt with, more so than rape. I still think we need to figure out a better way to deal with rape cases though, because rape is so frequently unreported and the perpetrators really should be prosecuted :/
/r/MensRights18/07/13 04:24 AM
1

I rarely refer to myself as a woman actually :/ Maybe I am weird; but I do identify as queer-gender so that's probably why.
/r/MensRights18/07/13 04:19 AM
1

There is a pretty famous example of victim-blaming in Canada where young women were told "If you don't want to get raped, don't dress like a slut." It spurred something called the SlutWalk, a walk where woman dress as skanky or as un-promiscuous as they want and march together to raise awareness about why we shouldn't base how much we respect a person's body on what they're wearing. And I've met people--women more than men actually--who agree that a woman dressed a certain way is "asking for" ma…
/r/MensRights18/07/13 04:17 AM
1

The more I'm reading comments on here, the more I'm horrified by what so-called "feminists" do. Feminism should be (and was, maybe, at one point) a desire to promote equality among genders, and to bring the female voice to the table. What it seems to have become is a lot of extremists and man-haters :( I think the more egalitarian people who label themselves as "feminist" simply aren't extreme enough to go poking around and don't realize how much misandry is going on (I certainly didn't!). I thi…
/r/MensRights18/07/13 04:10 AM
1

I see the avoidance as an extreme perspective, not as harmful, and certainly not as harmful to women; if anything, maybe harmful to themselves. I wasn't trying to attack them and I'm happy to leave them alone, I was just surprised when I started looking up some things and found there was a whole movement where men were simply avoiding engagement in relationships altogether (and at the higher levels of MGTOW, withdrawing from society).
/r/MensRights18/07/13 04:02 AM
1

I don't think victim-blaming is sexist, or misogynistic. I mostly just think it's a problem that we blame and antagonize victims of rape and other crimes (and I do believe it happens more with rape victims). I honestly think it comes back to something called "Just World Beliefs" and is more of an existential problem in society than anything, but I'd still like to see us overcome it.
/r/MensRights17/07/13 07:54 PM
1

I recognize that; I suppose I found the higher levels of MGTOW (withdraw from society) to be the extreme. I also feel that men (and women) shouldn't have to "protect themselves" from the risk of being taken advantage of my entering into a partnership, at least not in a legal or fiscal sense. I prefer the thought of an open dialogue about how to fix things so we can all breath easy in relationships (there is enough energy expended on other things in relationships anyway, without worrying about ge…
/r/MensRights17/07/13 07:51 PM
2

While I agree that it seems to be turning into a slow train wreck for the couple I mentioned (which makes me sad because I care about them both dearly), I suppose I find that it does simplify matters to get married, at least for some people. I'm also enough of a romantic to enjoy the thought of declaring a bond between yourself and another person, but I recognize that legal marriage is not required for that.
/r/MensRights17/07/13 07:49 PM
1

It's not the lack of male attention, but the reasons for it. Some Buddhists and other spiritualists separate themselves from women and sex to be closer to their God/spiritual path and seek enlightenment. Similarly, some people "go their own way" simply because they don't have any desire to be in relationships. To me, reading the various levels of MGTOW on their website seemed like it was advocating that men withdraw from society and relationships not because they want to, but to "protect themsel…
/r/MensRights17/07/13 07:44 PM
0

While I appreciate your sentiments, I would have loved to have you read more. I've been doing some reading about "rape culture" and my understanding of what it meant was/is different from what is apparently commonly meant in this sub, and probably by feminists. To me it was the culture of victim-blaming, and relates more to issues of how people often don't get the respect they deserve in the criminal justice system and the media when they are a victim of rape. I didn't know that so many people u…
/r/MensRights17/07/13 07:37 PM
1

I agree; we all have a lot of social pressure and some people are just as happy not being in relationships. It seems to me that advocating the avoidance of relationships not due to a lack of desire for partnership, but rather to "protect oneself" and "deny resources", is a bit... unhappy? I find it extreme not because its malicious, but because if you take it to the extreme, you lose out on so much enjoyment in life. It also seems like its out of fear of being taken advantage of, so I maintain t…
/r/MensRights17/07/13 07:34 PM
1

The most "extreme" feminist I know is a gay man, and definitely not anti-male. Most people I associate with are actually quite open in their views, if a little uneducated about all of the issues. I realize now how much man-hating exists, and I knew it was insidiously in our culture in some ways, but I think that my definition of "rape culture" was really more the "victim blaming" mentally (which needs to end). It appears as though the typical definition is more extreme than I had realized :/
/r/MensRights17/07/13 05:42 AM
2

I noticed the disparity between the AskMen and AskWomen subreddits, then found this subreddit, which naturally made me find the feminism subreddit. About three minutes later, I was convinced that many of those women were anti-male, and unwilling to discuss things broadly. Honestly though, I had previously thought of feminism as a fight for gender equality, much what egalitarianism is. It had a female leaning, but no one I know who would self-identify as a feminist is anti-male. I knew that there…
/r/MensRights17/07/13 05:28 AM
1

The definition of "rape culture" as I understood it was really more about how society treats the victims of rape. The criminal justice system will focus on what a woman was wearing and whether she was intoxicated, as well as her sexual history, when discussing her rape and have considered some rapes as "not legitimate rape" because of these factors. To me, discussion about "rape culture" has always seemed to be about making sure we blame the perpetrator (and teaching people about rape and what i…
/r/MensRights17/07/13 05:23 AM
3

I think I may have just been alarmed at the "manifesto" of sorts on the MGTOW website; I don't think either gender should be told to do what the other wants, and I'm glad that people are recognizing that. I guess to me it seemed exclusionary rather than inclusionary, which this MensRight movement seems to be :)
/r/MensRights17/07/13 05:19 AM
6

Hear hear! Seriously, I'll do my best to follow the rules, and I try generally not to be whiny and personally attack people to make a point. That's hardly conducive to growing and learning as a person, or to growing and expanding the perception of the person you're talking to. I'm probably going to expand my perception, or diminish it, about what "rape culture" is through the upcoming discussion I feel like I'll be having. I had no idea that mentioning it would be such a "hot topic", so to speak…
/r/MensRights17/07/13 02:35 AM
18

Thank you for the wonderful welcome!
/r/MensRights17/07/13 02:05 AM
1

I guess I found the extremity coming from how the MGTOW website was advocating minimal contact with women and low to zero romantic contact. I understand that not everyone wants the same thing from a romantic relationship (or even wants one at all) but I found the desire to completely shut out that aspect of life as "extreme" and a bit disarming. I'm all about self-ownership, I just think that people should work toward harmony instead of isolation (and it seemed isolationist to me, but I may have…
/r/MensRights17/07/13 02:05 AM
12

I hadn't realized this, but I'm quickly learning it in the comments here. Seems to be a bit of a contentious topic. I don't think this post is necessarily the best place to debate the legitimacy of a term like rape culture, but I certainly think North American society--in some, but not all places, and certainly not with everyone but as a social trend--has an issue with how they treat rape and sexual assault. It's unfortunately all too common, and I think the justice system (in Canada and probabl…
/r/MensRights17/07/13 02:02 AM
5

When you say marriage is utterly pointless, I agree with you to a point (if you're going to make a life commitment to someone, you don't need a piece of paper to prove it), but there are some legal benefits to it as well. Some of these are things like benefits and insurance that can be shared between partners when they are legally married, and others would be things like medical decisions or visitation that are only allowed to legal next-of-kin or family. I raise this point only because I know a…
/r/MensRights17/07/13 01:59 AM
2

I checked out the sidebar and didn't see anything about women vs. not women being welcome, so I thought it best to get a feel for the subreddit by asking directly. If there's anything I'm missing though, please inform me!
/r/MensRights17/07/13 12:53 AM
8

Thanks for the advice! I'm sure it will be a different experience for me haha, but that might be a good thing :)
/r/MensRights17/07/13 12:51 AM
2

Maybe check out /r/egalitarianism for that kind of discussion? Though you're not getting the serious feminists then, but rather people who already believe we need a more open dialogue
/r/MensRights16/07/13 09:24 PM
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