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pickupmid123 Archive

View 3 posts and 184 comments by pickupmid123 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Disagree. Phones / headphones are so ubiquitous right now I don’t think it means anything. People sometimes forget they even have their AirPods in. Unless they’re literally on the phone talking to someone I think it’s fine
/r/seduction11/07/26 02:30 AM
1

I think you’re missing the point of approaching: it’s to build the muscle of approaching and flirting with attractive women while under pressure. Confidence comes from proving to yourself that you can do hard things. Trying to drug your way out of it is indeed like taking ozempic instead of working out. You lose weight but you won’t actually get any of the health benefits of working out. I understand the appeal of searching for the easy way out. And maybe you will find some hack. But then the ha…
/r/seduction16/06/26 03:19 AM
3

This only works if you are centering the social circle. In other words, invite her into your circle, not the other way around. Host events, tell her to come and to bring friends. See if you vibe with their friends. You need high social calibration so you don’t appear to be hitting on everything that moves, but if you’re a cool dude who is a leader and hub of the community, it’s a great way to meet new folks
/r/seduction07/06/26 01:41 AM
4

They’re attracted to them but they don’t like them / it’s often a red flag for anything long term. Also you’re assuming the misogynist is a fuckboy type but many are also just incels
/r/seduction03/06/26 10:27 PM
33

You’re judging male attractiveness physically which is a mistake. From an evolutionary lens male appearance has minimal bearing on your survivability. Many good looking guys lack social skills, status, purpose, etc - the things that actually matter
/r/seduction08/05/26 11:40 AM
6

What’s your mission in life? What are you hoping to achieve and build, and how hard are working toward it? Confidence is earned through trial by fire. The more you push yourself out of your comfort zone regularly and achieve hard things the more you will develop it.
/r/seduction04/05/26 02:33 AM
1

Even if that’s true they won’t always express interest in those 3 seconds. Sometimes they’re caught off guard or around friends / family / etc in some situation where it would be odd to show interest overly You also need to show you can sustain a conversation through some pressure.
/r/seduction01/05/26 07:29 PM
12

Ambition, discipline, drive, and purpose. Most guys meander through life and “go with the flow”. The guys who are building something and working toward their goals stand out.
/r/seduction16/04/26 04:00 PM
3

This whole subreddit is anecdotal experiences… of course your mileage may vary. if you’re looking for p < 0.05 to support any observation you won’t be able to draw any meaningful conclusions in life at all.
/r/seduction30/03/26 12:11 AM
2

He said it himself. He met a girl volunteering but they had nothing in common. Well… no duh, you didn’t care about what you were doing at all.
/r/seduction17/03/26 11:51 PM
1

Women also don’t have the luxury of improving their attractiveness over time as men do by investing in various forms of self improvement. So there’s not really much advice to offer to women other than “keep waiting”.
/r/seduction17/03/26 11:42 PM
2

Dude…she was trying to connect with you and you closed yourself off and signaled that you weren’t interested in actually getting to know her. You can’t shut down some talking about their roommates suicide… that’s heavy shit. If it’s too heavy for you to deal with that’s fine, you shouldn’t be talking to this girl at this time It sounds like you’re taking seduction advice too far. You need to be able to also hold a normal conversation and get to know her, tell her about yourself, etc. Too much in…
/r/seduction14/03/26 03:44 AM
2

It’s because the entire generation lacks social skills and was stunted by covid. But humans still want connection and human contact. It just means if you can develop good social skills, you’ll stand out a lot more.
/r/seduction13/03/26 11:31 AM
1

You’re touching on an important point. Confidence is earned. What have you done in your life that’s hard? What goals have you set for yourself and worked toward and achieved? Are you challenging yourself and pushing past your comfort zone regularly? That’s how you build confidence - through regular wins in things that matter. That earns you the respect of your peers, of women, and of yourself. That’s real confidence because you don’t have to lie to yourself. That’s hugely attractive because it s…
/r/seduction12/03/26 01:33 AM
1

Fair enough, finding your purpose is a high bar and a lifelong journey. I think a lack of goals is a big problem though.
/r/seduction12/03/26 01:23 AM
1

Loser is a strong word but that is kind of what a man with no goals is, yes
/r/seduction10/03/26 09:37 PM
3

If you have nothing bigger to work on, that’s a bit of a hollow existence. It’s not just about neediness, living a rich and full life that’s purpose driven has rewards beyond women. But yes it makes you less needy and generally more attractive than a dude who generally has nothing going on.
/r/seduction10/03/26 12:08 PM
4

You are scared - you are scared that you are not good enough for the women you want. That's ok - many men are in that boat. I would suggest going to therapy. More importantly, you need to work on yourself by setting and achieving goals and working toward a mission that you're passionate about. Build something. If you don't think you're enough, it's a self fulfilling prophecy until you do something about it.
/r/seduction03/03/26 02:17 PM
5

It's not cultural, its evolutionary. It's how women are able to select for (1) assertive, go-getter type (masculine) men rather than passive, scared men and (2) men who are highly attracted to them, enough so that they risk rejection (these men are much more likely to commit to them). If you're struggling with this, it means you simply need to invest in self development. Are you assertive in other domains of your life, or are you more passive? Do you cultivate your leadership skills? Do you have…
/r/seduction03/03/26 01:18 PM
3

You need to develop social calibration. Be friendly with everyone, start casual conversations, pick up on signals of interest, and start with light banter and work your way up to asking them out if they seem interested. If not, politely bounce. It's an art - you have to work on it. But if you're well calibrated, real "rejections" are rare.
/r/seduction03/03/26 01:14 PM
11

Well said. I’ll add that there’s no “fixing” the energetic level. This is the wrong mindset. It’s something to be built and grown and honed over time through a life of purpose and discipline. True self confidence is earned over time by what you build and achieve for yourself in this world. And that’s fundamentally why it’s so attractive.
/r/seduction01/03/26 04:39 PM
12

Well said, and you’re both right. Self esteem and leadership are key to getting women, and once you have them, it becomes quite easy. But those things are hard to achieve - they must be earned through discipline and work. Instead of spamming approaches (which is better than not doing that), start building a plan for your life with goals that are hard and that matter and start working toward them. Each achievement along the way builds self esteem. But yes, it’s hard. And worth it
/r/seduction21/02/26 06:56 PM
6

“That guy” isn’t focused on women. He has other things going on in his life: ambition, passion, and a defined purpose he’s working toward. They are building something in this short life. They work hard and are disciplined. working a 9 to 5 then coming home to smoke weed and play video games is antithetical to becoming “that guy”.
/r/seduction10/02/26 09:46 PM
1

Agreed. Just say “well you’re a 10, so does that make me an 11?”
/r/seduction07/02/26 12:44 AM
2

They complement each other. Women are far more relaxed and open at social gatherings. I like your content a lot btw
/r/seduction01/02/26 12:05 AM
3

You’re missing that most game is inner game. Are you working on yourself? Are you passionate about what you’re building in this life? Are you building anything at all? Are you a leader of men, grounded, disciplined, and assertive? That’s what game is much more than random flirting techniques. And that’s what drives base attraction - women don’t care about looks. Looks aren’t what drive evolutionary success in men
/r/seduction30/01/26 12:37 PM
1

I didn’t say it’s not. But unless you have an extremely high success rate, volume is critical.
/r/seduction27/01/26 01:37 AM
1

lol except moving to Japan is not part of your daily life. If an amazing life opportunity came up and you were scared to move because of it then yes it’s similar. Seeing a hot woman in a group is a common occurrence.
/r/seduction26/01/26 11:04 PM
1

It’s much harder to approach a group. Therefore it’s a strong skill to learn to level up your game. Of course it’s possible to succeed only doing solo approaches but that doesn’t change the fact that if you are averse to approaching groups you’re leaving opportunities on the table.
/r/seduction25/01/26 04:13 PM
3

The only way to “make” more girls like you is by leveling up (work on yourself aggressively, build physique, wealth, and status). Inner game is the real game. Outer game is volume and social calibration.
/r/seduction24/01/26 02:41 PM
6

If you’re in college you need to game very differently. Your first approaches should take place off campus for sure. You’re going to be bad and it will be embarrassing on campus. Once you’ve figured out the basics, you can selectively approach on campus. Make it natural: sit next to women in the library or in class and chat them up, just be flirty in general but don’t overtly hit on anyone until you have clear signals. You can keep things super casual - hang out at lunch or to study, if you’re g…
/r/seduction18/01/26 02:00 PM
2

If you’re struggling to connect with women, it’s an ego issue. Most likely you have low self esteem and feel self conscious, put her on a pedestal, or are worried about rejection. First remedy is cold approach. It’s not about socializing, it’s about getting outside your comfort zone so you can grow. Meanwhile, set and work toward goals - you’ll start building up masculine energy and confidence. The flip side is maybe you have too much ego, and don’t think you have anything to learn from women or…
/r/seduction17/01/26 07:35 PM
12

First there’s no need to change platforms. You’re just increasing friction with no real benefit. Second if you did a good job sparking attraction on the meetup, she will reach out. If she doesn’t it’s just a sign you need to keep working on your game. No harm in reaching out in two weeks. Most importantly, these problems are always solved with an abundance mindset. Just meet new women constantly, approach and flirt. Pump those numbers up and never get hung up on a girl you met once
/r/seduction17/01/26 04:54 PM
2

Yes - if you put in the work. It’s not just about cold approaching (which is a small but necesssry component of seduction), it’s about becoming a man who is disciplined, ambitious, and goal oriented - basically a more masculine and grounded man who is working toward his purpose. That has huge returns in all swathes of life beyond just love life. I have a better social life, more professional success, better health, and even better mental health. I’m not even that great at pickup (I can get 6s at…
/r/seduction13/01/26 11:00 PM
21

Great list. In general I agree cold approach is a critical skill, but you will reach a point of diminishing returns and it’s low time efficiency. Better to do hobbies and events that you enjoy anyway and meet people that way while building a social circle and status in the group - but if you don’t have the ability to pick up women in cold approach you won’t have the skills to pick them up at events.
/r/seduction13/01/26 04:47 PM
1

It’s deeply evolutionary. The leaders of tribes and men are focused on their own grinds. That’s how they become leaders and successful (aka high value). The ones who are focused on women do so because they have nothing else going on - it signals low value.
/r/seduction10/01/26 10:17 PM
42

A sense of purpose and direction. If you’re working on building something in life, and you’re passionate about it, that’s magnetic. Too many men are content to waste their lives away playing video games and then wondering why no one wants them.
/r/seduction10/01/26 10:14 PM
1

If you’re getting great results from apps then keep doing what you’re doing. The power of cold approach is it forces you to grow as a man and a person (both to learn and hone seduction skills and to become more confident and assertive over time) and you have access to women you wouldn’t get to meet via apps. If you’re getting swipes from 9s on the apps, more power to you - but if you’re not, cold approach allows you to meet the 9 anyway.
/r/seduction01/01/26 09:40 PM
1

If you’re getting great results from apps then keep doing what you’re doing. The power of cold approach is it forces you to grow as a man and a person (both to learn and hone seduction skills and to become more confident and assertive over time) and you have access to women you wouldn’t get to meet via apps. If you’re getting swipes from 9s on the apps, more power to you - but if you’re not, cold approach allows you to meet the 9 anyway.
/r/seduction01/01/26 09:40 PM
1

You have to look at it as an opportunity. Women are passive in the dating process - which means they have to basically accept their lot. A woman who is born a 3 can’t really do much about it, she will have to settle for dating 3s and 4s. As men, we have a unique opportunity to better ourselves - because women select for status, prestige, social skills, ambition, confidence. These are all things that can be honed and cultivated with discipline. Men born 3s can date 7s and 8s if you put the work i…
/r/seduction01/01/26 06:11 PM
1

It’s also just wrong. I promise you will have much more success approaching single women…
/r/seduction01/01/26 03:40 PM
3

She may have thought his vibe was generally good. Worth befriending women in these situations imo and adding to your social circle, she may introduce you to her friends and generally you’ll be more preselected
/r/seduction01/01/26 03:39 PM
4

Thanks mate, love your content, especially because it really acknowledges the human side of cold approach. The notion of simply taking breaks and recognizing that mental health comes first was good to hear - you can’t have a strong day of approaching if you’re not in the right state. You don’t see that with a lot of writers, which makes them less credible imo.
/r/seduction01/01/26 03:11 PM
1

I have to disagree. If she’s on a date with you, she’s open to sleeping with you. If she doesn’t feel the spark, it’s 90% on you. Work on flirting, eye contact, escalation, conversation skills, and showing genuine interest in her - and she will feel the spark (aka attraction). Once in a while she will just be emotionally unavailable (still in love with her ex, her dog just died) and so won’t feel the connection but that’s rare (because if this is the case it’s more likely she would just cancel t…
/r/seduction25/12/25 02:39 AM
37

Hitting on a group is a terrible idea imo. Women want to feel special and chosen. Spraying and praying is fine (it’s a numbers game after all) but don’t be obvious about it. They’re ROFL right now at the thought that you seriously thought you could sleep with all of them. Befriend the group and pick a specific woman. You can either be explicit about it (I thought your friend was cute) or if you have time, flirt with all of them and try to read which one is most interested.
/r/seduction15/12/25 06:22 PM
6

It’s not about ignoring the women, it’s about focusing on your purpose. Ambitious and goal oriented men who are working towards achieving things in life are the most attractive - and these types of men tend to have less time and attention to spend thinking about women. By paying less attention to women, you’re subcomminicating that you have other shit going on. The best way to do this is to actually have other shit going on.
/r/seduction15/12/25 02:23 AM
3

If you’re getting 10 seconds of time, you’re doing it wrong. A good approach can last several minutes - plenty of time to make an impression. You can access women you wouldn’t have a chance at online - either because they’re not online or because they’d swipe left on pictures alone - which is great if you’re not especially photogenic. Just as importantly, you can actually get a feel for her vibe and personality beyond her looks, so you don’t end up wasting time on bad dates with women who are ho…
/r/seduction19/11/25 01:00 AM
2

If you’re on the date she wants you to win. If she wants to prolong the date she wants you to make a move.
/r/seduction18/11/25 09:14 PM
2

Great post. Definitely agree that you need to do the inner and outer work to find success in day game. If you’re not working on yourself and your passions, you’re throwing darts blindfolded.
/r/seduction16/11/25 05:47 PM
1

You’re overthinking it. Following her as she’s getting off the train after you held eye contact isn’t creepy? The sooner you approach the better, the longer you wait, the weirder it is and the more you’ll psych yourself out. Just keep it casual and say hey
/r/seduction14/11/25 10:09 PM
1

Nah it goes both ways. If your girl gains a lot of weight, what would you do?
/r/seduction12/11/25 08:56 PM
1

Scarcity mindset. You’re timid because you’re afraid she will say yes instead of trying to screen whether you like her for more than her appearance. I’m not interested in hot women if they lack feminine energy, intelligence, and playfulness for example. You also need to accept that she’s a human being. Recognizing her humanity (being cool with her unwillingness to come back to yours on a first date) is not weakness.
/r/seduction10/11/25 01:13 AM
6

The reason it’s a successful attitude with women is because it’s a successful attitude in life. Women are attracted to leaders - and leaders in nearly every domain - from business to politics, are ambitious and take risks. That behavior (especially when combined with competence, intelligence, etc.) predicts success in men, so naturally women find it attractive.
/r/seduction10/11/25 12:06 AM
2

Getting good at cold approach is the prerequisite to every other strategy. It builds all the core skills: confidence, social savvy, flirting, etc. if you try hosting as described above without a good foundation it may work, but you’ll still struggle on dates themselves. In other words, it’s an advanced strategy. Get good at cold approach. Get used to rejection. That has to happen first
/r/seduction06/11/25 09:45 PM
4

It’s not even that. It’s moreso that women are attracted to confidence and status and masculine traits like assertiveness - which are all impossible to convey in an app. I get no matches on apps but do well in real life (though nightclubs are not my scene)
/r/seduction01/11/25 10:44 PM
0

No that’s terrible. Doing things in the real world and meeting people and pushing yourself is how men make themselves more attractive
/r/seduction31/10/25 12:51 PM
1

If you’re using it as a coach to keep you accountable to do approaches and workshop what you could be doing better, it’s a great tool. Just use it sparingly and with purpose
/r/seduction31/10/25 01:09 AM
1

The assumption that every woman is going around fucking as many dudes as possible is not just toxic, it’s just wrong. Biologically, women are wired to be much more selective in terms of sexual access. Could they fuck around? Yes. Do they? With some exceptions - No. Most would much rather fuck in a relationship with someone they trust. 4 dates with no sex is fine. Every woman is different.
/r/seduction31/10/25 01:07 AM
1

Make her wait until tomorrow. Or tell her if she behaves, you’ll come see her after dinner. Either way, be playful, outcome independent, and chill. She’s literally telling you she’s horny…if you’re at that stage you’ll fuck very soon. Just be patient.
/r/seduction31/10/25 12:14 AM
7

Paradoxically, obsessing over getting laid makes you less likely to get laid. Having purpose, hobbies, and a rich life in general - with sex as a complementary component - is much more attractive and will help you in seduction
/r/seduction31/10/25 12:11 AM
1

First of all, you’re awesome for putting yourself out there. When I first started approaching, my batting average sucked too. If you’re continuing to struggle, you should try to work on your inner game outside of approaching. What’re you building in your life? How are you going to level up? Are you working out regularly? Being disciplined, ambitious, and goal oriented is at the heart of masculine energy and will bring you success in your personal life that will translate to approaches. The other…
/r/seduction31/10/25 12:09 AM
1

Why do you want women to lead? Forcing women to lead puts them into their masculine energy, which is a turn off for both of you.
/r/seduction28/10/25 02:23 PM
3

Approaching daily is kind of insane. You should have a rich and full enough life that you don’t have enough time to approach daily. Carving out some time weekly but committing to it as a better approach
/r/seduction27/10/25 05:32 PM
-1

What’s unhealthy about this? It’s simply saying be the best man you can be, focus on your purpose, etc.? It depends a lot on where you are in your journey. If you’re early on, it may feel like it’s off the mark. But if you’re more advanced I think it’s really good for landing the highest quality women long term
/r/seduction27/10/25 03:56 PM
2

It’s just creating polarization. The most successful men are highly polarizing - theyre unabashed about who they are and don’t contort backwards to appease everyone. They go after what they want without worrying about ruffling feathers. That kind of cocksureness and brazen assertiveness is deeply masculine - and hence attractive. If you want to be another type of guy - the guy who blends into the background and never bothers anyone… well that’s fine it’s just not what women look for.
/r/seduction27/10/25 01:56 AM
0

Direct Approaching with clear intent is ballsy and hard. That’s both why it can work - women recognize it’s risky and respect that (and find it attractive)- and why everyone needs to build up that skillset.
/r/seduction27/10/25 01:53 AM
10

Wrong mindset imo. First you should believe you have something to learn from everyone and that you have value to offer in every interaction, even if it goes nowhere. The goal is to see if you like and vibe with her. If you do, then try to set up a date. She has to earn the date.
/r/seduction26/10/25 06:32 PM
-2

Like what? OPs post is all truth - but you are correct too. If you don’t have enough social “at bats” with women , that’s one of the first problems to fix. But holding down a hottie long term requires more - there are levels to this.
/r/seduction26/10/25 06:26 PM
2

It’s all tied to masculine energy. If you cultivate your masculine energy and ground yourself in it, if you invest in self development and growth and building things, you will no longer view approaching women as a chore. If you want to build a business or climb a mountain or become president, that also takes work. The people who are hungry for the challenge and opportunity are the ones who make it. Meeting and seducing women is no different - and much easier. The ones who are daunted by the effo…
/r/seduction25/10/25 01:41 AM
3

If you’re resentful for having to do the “heavy lifting” you probably don’t deserve her TBH. Cultivate your masculine energy and view it as a privilege that you have the power to approach who you want to, plan the date as you want to, and dictate the pace of the relationship. If you’re too scared or lazy to do that, how will you accomplish anything worth it in this life? Push yourself out of your comfort zone daily - grow as a man - live your life with purpose.
/r/seduction25/10/25 01:00 AM
6

Yeah you gotta push past for at least a couple of minutes before you conclude someone’s not interested. Sometimes people will light up immediately to an approach but sometimes it just takes a while for her to let her guard down and warm up to you.
/r/seduction18/10/25 06:28 PM
4

It’s correct just not in the way OP thinks. It’s based on holistic attractiveness - confidence, assertiveness, ambition, social status, physical traits, etc. if you have all these things are and are “nice”, you’re a catch. If you lack in the above and are nice, you’re just that - nice.
/r/seduction14/10/25 10:05 PM
16

Practice and purpose: Practice: approach women. Start small, work your way up. Ask them for directions, make a small joke, move on. Next approach try to hold a small conversation. Then a longer one. Then add flirting. Then add closing. Do each 10x times, or until you feel confident that you’ve mastered it. Host social gatherings around things you’re interested in. Push yourself to make new friends. Make friends too. Put yourself into new and uncomfortable spaces and learn to navigate. Purpose: s…
/r/seduction11/10/25 01:33 PM
5

Warm approach in friendly environments (house parties, climbing gym, etc.) are much better for sure. But if you’re starting out cold, cold approach is how you build up the skills you need in a lower risk environment. If you try to hit on every girl at your climbing gym, you will have minimal success - you need to be choosier and better at reading interest in spaces where you have a reputation to uphold. Cold approach is where you build those skills
/r/seduction04/09/25 02:42 AM
18

Very true - but also our place within this hierarchy today is not fixed. As men, we can grow as leaders within our communities by living goal oriented, purposeful and disciplined lives that continuously push ourselves outside our comfort zone. If you authentically believe yourself leader of the tribe, these social anxieties fall away naturally and you can become authentically attractive. But it is the hard way - the easy way is staying home and playing video games and reading advice on Reddit - …
/r/seduction03/09/25 01:14 AM
7

There’s a fifth pillar: purpose. If you don’t have clear goals, and are actively pursuing those goals, you will lack the masculine energy needed to attract women (and have an unfulfilling life besides). Finding passion and purpose will unlock a lot of success with women. Evolutionarily, they are drawn to ambitious men who are disciplined and have drive - men who are leaders or are striving to accomplish meaningful things
/r/seduction30/08/25 04:30 PM
1

“That guy” is not something you can fake. You need to actually work on yourself to live with passion and purpose. That means cutting out unproductive pursuits (video games, porn, weed) and embracing a more disciplined life that involves setting, working on, and achieving difficult goals. Ideally those goals are in pursuit of something bigger than yourself - usually work related but doesn’t need to be. Charisma comes from genuine pride in your own accomplishments.
/r/seduction28/08/25 10:02 PM
2

Women need to put a lot more time and work into fitness, grooming, etc. Flirting also needs two to tango, even if women are the more passive participant
/r/seduction15/12/24 01:51 PM
3

Do not worry about other men. That puts you in a needy and scarce frame of mind, and trying to see if she’s getting close to other men is creepy af. The rest is solid tho
/r/seduction10/12/24 12:45 AM
1

They’re not mutually exclusive. This is kind of like asking do you want to exercise or talk to girls. Do both. Improve yourself. Reading is a much better use of time than video games, porn, smoking weed, etc.
/r/seduction07/12/24 03:54 PM
12

even her best friends doesn't know her the way I do You've known her a week? Two? You must realize how delusional this sounds. You are putting her on a pedestal. Just be clear you want to be more than friends, and let her know to reach out if she changes her mind. Otherwise you'll keep getting deeper (she obviously loves the attention) and wound up heartbroken.
/r/seduction04/12/24 04:53 PM
1

You don't think an analytical STEM guy would describe women this way? I don't get what's unbelievable about this. He's not claiming a high success rate. If you are approaching 20+ women each weekend you will have a pretty full dating life. You just don't hear about all the times guys are turned down - but its just a part of the game, no big deal. Of course, you will go through an awkward phase where you fucking suck and get no numbers, but if you persist you will build the skills to get results …
/r/seduction02/12/24 10:25 PM
1

Do not use that’s what she said jokes… might work if you’re 15…
/r/seduction27/11/24 01:42 PM
8

Now imagine the results you can get if you actually do the approaching instead of making eye contact and praying a girl approaches you.
/r/seduction07/11/24 07:08 PM
1

I don't understand what kind of parties you're going to. Its perfectly normal to move around and mingle at parties. You absolutely should introduce yourself to everyone, even playfully flirt with several girls (in a socially calibrated way). You should NOT blatantly hit on multiple girls at the same party. Instead, once you've made a couple rounds and gotten a sense of who you like, seemed engaged in conversation, and is available, circle back to your top prospect and try to isolate her to have …
/r/seduction19/09/24 06:24 PM
5

This is lack of calibration. If you're escalating touch, tone, and eye contact you will not be called a creep
/r/seduction15/09/24 08:22 PM
2

100% - you end up learning and growing so much by cold approaching. And you can pull way above what you can on dating apps because practically no one else has the skill set.
/r/seduction06/09/24 09:50 PM
6

Way more than you think. I get next to zero matches on dating apps and can pull pretty well IRL. When I started it was rough, but once you build the skillset, it transforms your whole life - even outside of dating.
/r/seduction06/09/24 09:48 PM
10

Attractiveness to women is based on mannerisms. Are you confident, charming, charismatic, do you display signs of status, wealth, etc. Can you spike her emotions, flirt, hold strong eye contact, are you assertive and decisive. It has almost nothing to do with physical appearance, as long as you are well groomed, well dressed, and in decent shape (all things within your control)
/r/seduction06/09/24 02:02 PM
5

Well done. Do you think there’s anything different about approaching and closing 9s compared to 6-7s?
/r/seduction02/09/24 01:03 PM
23

This is a great frame for a date but not sure it’s effective while actually approaching, seems like it’s far deeper than you really want to get to for a short interaction and no one would really be able to assess these sorts of things that quickly. For day game approaches the bar should be different - quick rapport building, demonstrating value and charism, having fun, throwing in some flirtations, and closing with confidence.
/r/seduction30/08/24 08:17 PM
2

Exactly. Warm up by talking to everyone. But also no one has this reputation. Especially assuming you’re not overtly hitting on every girl you meet
/r/seduction25/08/24 06:20 AM
1

This is likely because you yourself are not displaying high value qualities. If youre ugly but charming, charismatic, make good money, etc your friends will volunteer their most attractive friends. Women in real life will overlook below average looks incredibly often - assuming you have good social skills and other stuff going on for you. It’s a tricky game though since if you’re only looking for something casual though they will either volunteer no one or you will burn that bridge fast if you’r…
/r/seduction22/08/24 01:26 AM
3

It’s not a looks threshold, it’s a social awareness threshold. If you’re smart but socially awkward you’ll be written off. Intelligence encompasses EQ, which is very important to women
/r/seduction19/08/24 01:20 PM
3

I promise no man here has only that as a standard. Maybe for a one time hookup but for a relationship do you not want a woman with intelligence, charm, interesting, considerate, feminine, shared interests, etc? Plus a cute face obviously… The only guys without standards are the guys who really struggle with women, and women can sense that lack of standards which perpetuates the cycle.
/r/seduction15/08/24 03:19 AM
0

It’s simply not true though. From an evolutionary standpoint looks for men is a very low predictor of reproductive success. It’s much more driven by status, resources, charisma, assertiveness, leadership, etc. Fitness is certainly one of those predictors, and it sounds like you’ve toggled back and forth with weight.
/r/seduction15/08/24 03:13 AM
11

Then don't give women the ick? That only happens if you can't read social cues. If you're connecting and having a good time and have social skills and you ask to hang out sometime its very hard for things to go wrong...
/r/seduction14/08/24 02:12 AM
5

Nah everyone is saying run clubs are the new singles thing
/r/seduction14/08/24 01:40 AM
21

There are a growing number of women (and men obviously) growing disillusioned with dating apps - I have to believe everyone is experimenting with different forms of meeting people. Speed dating has a stigma but I've heard run clubs have lots of hot women.
/r/seduction13/08/24 09:44 PM
3

Agreed first encounter in a place you go to regularly is a bit of a faux pas. Better to build up rapport over a few interactions then go for the date
/r/seduction13/08/24 04:28 PM
4

There's nothing wrong with striking up a conversation with a stranger in a public place. As long as you approach indirectly and can read social cues you will be fine. It only becomes creepy if you can't take a hint and continue talking to someone who is not engaging back with you.
/r/seduction13/08/24 03:19 PM
12

I can own being bald, but it’s not gonna change the fact... This is not owning it. Owning it means this "fact" does not even cross your mind. I reject the notion that hair "objectively" looks better. It's also not relevant as looks barely matter to women in real life (they do on dating apps but there's a reason those don't work and women are leaving them in droves and constantly complaining about dates with no "spark"). Confidence without evidence is useless. What does this mean? The evidence is…
/r/seduction13/08/24 03:06 AM
20

Being bald and owning it will help you with women, not hurt you. It only hurts you if you’re self conscious about your lack of hair. It’s not “proven” at all - I do much better bald than I ever did with hair. A small number of women will be instantly turned off, probably, but some women also dig it. Most women actually don’t care at all about your appearance as long as you are groomed and take care of yourself - confidence, social skills, status, and game are so much more importance that your ap…
/r/seduction13/08/24 01:50 AM
2

Why don’t you say you’ve met someone else who you think you get along better with and you want to see where that goes? Hard to get mad at someone for that
/r/seduction11/08/24 07:41 PM
2

This is correct as long as you understand attractiveness is charisma, confidence, social skills, and charm not appearance
/r/seduction11/08/24 07:23 PM
2

I can guarantee 99% of incels have never seriously engaged in therapy. It is completely transformational
/r/seduction09/08/24 01:52 AM
11

Once you build the skill set it starts taking a lot less effort and begins to build on itself. Eventually you should integrate into your daily life and then it takes no incremental time at all.
/r/seduction08/08/24 07:40 PM
1

This sub is about 50% populated with looks-absolutists who think women select primarily based on physical appearance. It's a very comforting mental construct because therefore you have no control over your romantic life and any investment into self improvement and game is meaningless. Honestly I'm not sure why they're even on this sub. They are a huge distraction for those of us who are actually working on ourselves and our game.
/r/seduction05/08/24 08:15 PM
1

I don't think anyone can help you if this is your perspective, sadly. Best of luck
/r/seduction02/08/24 02:23 PM
1

I would look into epigenetics
/r/seduction02/08/24 12:58 PM
2

Good middle ground. A woman seriously worried about this wouldn’t ask this or even seriously contemplate coming over for a first date anyway. If she’s at this stage building comfort and showing some flexibility is key
/r/seduction21/07/24 06:00 PM
3

You shouldn’t do “sets” at house parties. You need to game with social awareness and escalate more slowly over the course of the night. Mingle with everyone, flirt lightly with everyone, figure out who you like most / is vibing with you most, and get a feel for where the night will go. Try to isolate (let’s go grab a drink) and get a bit more flirty. If it’s going well, make the move (context dependent - sometimes you have to settle for the number if it’s a more chill setting). Don’t hit on more…
/r/seduction10/07/24 08:32 PM
2

Or you can just go on dates and escalate there? Imo it’s better to practice game in real life and learn to have fun flirting with and seducing women on dates themselves.
/r/seduction10/07/24 08:24 PM
2

It sounds like you have some internalized shame around sexuality, as well as some issues around confidence / fear of rejection. I’m a huge proponent of therapy to help work through these kinds of things. Some internet comments are not going to be helpful
/r/seduction10/07/24 05:18 PM
1

Except on most studies of women's selection patterns and criteria, looks consistently rank below a host of other factors - especially for long term partnership.
/r/seduction09/07/24 08:53 PM
1

This sub is so fixated on looks it drives me crazy. An attractive man is socially aware, can read queues, and is charming and confident.
/r/seduction09/07/24 08:41 PM
4

This is definitely not true, or at least not in the way you mean it. Creepy is defined by your mannerisms. If you view yourself as unworthy of a hot girls attention, lack charm and charisma in your approach, lack the social awareness to know when she is uninterested, then you risk coming off as a creep. Those characteristics (low confidence, low social awareness) are unattractive, make you unattractive, and thus creepy. If you bring good energy and can pick up on signals and body language, you n…
/r/seduction09/07/24 04:36 PM
14

It sounds like you have some internalized shame around sex and desire. Id check out Mark Sings Unapologetic Man podcast - his latest episode talks about this. How to resolve it? I highly recommend therapy.
/r/seduction07/07/24 12:46 AM
15

On dating apps looks matter, since it’s basically the only decision criteria available. Outside of dating apps looks barely matter
/r/seduction06/07/24 10:50 PM
63

Your conclusion is not how women think at all lol… by asking her to plan and pay you put her in the masculine role, which likely turned her off. By third date you can simply split. There are also a million other reasons of course that it fizzled out. Without more info it’s hard to tell
/r/seduction06/07/24 10:48 PM
9

Have you considered therapy? It really makes a big difference in addressing issues of self esteem and self worth
/r/seduction02/07/24 12:44 PM
8

Agreed - your charm, charisma, and confidence is what women gravitate to, looks be damned
/r/seduction01/07/24 07:46 PM
37

Thanks for sharing man - way too many folks in this sub get caught up worrying about looks when it’s one of the last things women care about, instead of putting in the work to approach and game and grow as a man
/r/seduction01/07/24 06:32 PM
2

There’s no secret to it…you have to fake it until you make it. A lot of the “games” people play in dating (waiting to reply to texts etc) is just faking abundance. As long as you are using this to build real abundance (approaching, working on your limiting beliefs, building your social skills), then the fake abundance will begin to grow into real abundance. But you have to put in the work. If you don’t, then yes no one can help you.
/r/seduction30/06/24 02:02 PM
0

Because I’ve had a huge personal development journey that involved quitting video games and I want to help others find that same path
/r/seduction30/06/24 02:04 AM
0

There are also people who don’t have millions of dollars who are successful with women, men who don’t work out who are successful with women, men who are short who are successful with women. Some people just have a healthier relationship with gaming and socializing than others. No need for judgment - games are designed to addict you. Some people get addicted some people don’t.
/r/seduction29/06/24 01:55 PM
-9

There are tons of other productive and attractive hobbies you can have, or passions you can cultivate. Being a passionate gamer while having a poor social life is not one of them. There’s a whole wide world out there
/r/seduction29/06/24 01:51 PM
1

If you’re closing like this then clearly this is not a looks issue. Women don’t sleep with men they’re not attracted to. If I had to guess based on this post, the ghosting is due to you coming off too strong, needy, and insecure
/r/seduction29/06/24 04:48 AM
1

I literally say in the second line - if your life is well rounded and you have the dating life you want, then it’s fine to play video games. But for plenty of people who don’t, it’s a crutch
/r/seduction29/06/24 04:38 AM
2

Why are you on this subreddit?
/r/seduction29/06/24 04:36 AM
2

Wtf? You don’t need to physically stand out to be social / magnetic. You do need to work at it. Practice talking to strangers. Push yourself out of your comfort zone - say yes to more things. Talk to people at said things. Read widely and aim to live a more interesting life. Stop playing video games and watching porn. Set realistic goals for yourself in different dimensions of your life and work toward them, then push for more ambitious goals.
/r/seduction28/06/24 09:30 PM
5

In general, if you are dating a lot of women, have worked on your confidence, and live a rich life, you will naturally embody attractive characteristics and won't have to think through every move. But you need to work on it and fake it until you make it.You learn this on a deeper level by putting in the reps. Approach, flirt, get into relationships, and learn what works and what doesn't. As a general guide: women who are high interest want similar level of interest (not higher, about the same or…
/r/seduction27/06/24 10:17 PM
1

Except a lot of men are not even trying these days - its not a relative lack of ambition but an absolute one, which is making these men intensely unattractive to women. There will always be people at the bottom of the bell curve who struggle for other reasons but right now the median is unambitious and not trying to improve themselves, hence they struggle. If they all were working on themselves, they would all have more success than they are having now.
/r/seduction26/06/24 01:13 PM
1

Sometimes you don't really know though? I'm overall in a more casual phase right now, but if I met the right woman I'd absolutely cut bait and try to progress to something more serious.
/r/seduction19/06/24 04:01 AM
-4

She definitely likes you. Even in more public spaces you can hold her hand or put your arm around her.
/r/seduction17/06/24 06:52 PM
3

When you're sitting next to each other, touch your leg to her leg (knee to knee or similar). If she doesn't pull back you can try to playfully touch her more or hold her hand
/r/seduction17/06/24 06:49 PM
5

She is making openings for you to make a move. I would definitely make one soon, unless you like the current status of things and just want to be buddies / pen pals (nothing wrong with having female friends but that doesn’t seem to be what you want in this case). Given you’re both 19 I’d suggest either: 1 - being a bit forward: texting “hey I really have enjoyed spending time with you the past few weeks and was hoping to take you out on a date. Are you free this weekend?” Given your 2 - more sub…
/r/seduction17/06/24 06:32 PM
2

You contact her. Giving her number puts her in the masculine, initiator role - making far less likely you will end up connecting. Plus she has to worry about what to say, how long to wait, how eager to reply, etc.
/r/seduction16/06/24 10:25 PM
43

Here’s why this is flawed thinking: Self improvement is naturally attractive. It doesn’t matter if everyone else is doing it, it is an attractive quality, like charisma and sociability. Just think about a lazy guy and a guy who is working on himself. It’s not about your relative position, it’s about the mindset. Self improvement is hard. Not everyone does it or can do it. There are absolute as well as relative benefits. Your mental and physical health will be better from gym, self reflection, be…
/r/seduction16/06/24 12:43 PM
6

You seem to be struggling with self esteem. I would suggest trying therapy. It did wonders for my dating life
/r/seduction13/06/24 09:19 PM
3

Therapy is rarely mentioned on this sub but it’s a game changer for this sort of thing. Highly suggest you give it a shot
/r/seduction12/06/24 04:27 PM
1

Dopamine hacking is an issue for most guys here though. Many spend so much time playing video games and then wondering why they’re not meeting women. Video games are a dopamine crutch - they’re engineered to keep booping you with dopamine so your natural drive to go get it by meeting women diminishes.
/r/seduction04/06/24 11:26 AM
1

Why are you telling women your height? Get off dating apps and go meet women in person.
/r/seduction02/06/24 03:54 PM
18

I highly suggest therapy
/r/seduction30/05/24 10:56 PM
1

Good looking men tend to have more confidence they've gained over a lifetime of positive reinforcement, while less good looking men tend to have the opposite. But its the confidence women are attracted to, not the looks. It's deeply biological.
/r/seduction30/05/24 02:51 PM
1

Guys who are hot /= guys who are good looking. Attraction for women works completely differently
/r/seduction30/05/24 12:12 PM
5

This is off base - looks are minimally relevant. What OP is doing wrong is he is fucking staring instead of going up and talking to the girl... You don't need seductive eye contact until you're on the date...you build attraction on the date. Your looks are minimally relevant. Anyone who thinks differently does not belong on this sub.
/r/seduction30/05/24 01:55 AM
22

People in (healthy) relationships get laid way more than 99% of single guys
/r/seduction24/05/24 11:28 PM
9

Try therapy. It’s a game changer
/r/seduction23/05/24 10:09 PM
15

If she is holding your arm and calling you her man, she expects you to go for the kiss. If you're not, she'll assume you lack confidence (and reject you) or that you don't like her that much (and reject you proactively, out of self preservation). You don't need to smash on the first date, but not going for a kiss with someone you're hitting it off with it is not a good move
/r/seduction23/05/24 10:01 PM
3

Hard disagree. Dating apps lock you into your "league". In real life you can approach anyone you see. I've found the quality of my dates in IRL dating is miles above the dates I was getting on apps - if I got any matches at all. IRL you'll also never waste time on a date with a woman you don't find attractive, by definition, whereas on apps the pics are often misleading
/r/seduction22/05/24 02:34 PM
3

You don't need to ask out every girl you approach. Just be a cool, charismatic guy that talks to and flirts with everyone. If someone is reciprocating interest, just say, you seem cool, let's hang out sometime. If they seem cold or busy, just thank them for their time and go about your business. As long as you're not being super direct and hitting on everything with legs you'll be fine.
/r/seduction22/05/24 02:28 PM
2

Exactly. You need to learn when the girl is picking up what you're putting down. If she's not (majority of the time), no worries - no need to even ask for the number.
/r/seduction22/05/24 02:25 PM
2

If you are thinking this much about what to say, you likely need more practice speaking to women and more self work to improve your confidence. It is a journey but if you put in the work it will eventually come naturally.
/r/seduction22/05/24 12:05 PM
2

Such a sad mindset. Flirting with beautiful women is one of the great joys of life
/r/seduction22/05/24 01:13 AM
6

Terrible advice. Why would a girl who “has 6 or 7 guys on call” push for a second date with you? First I don’t think that premise is close to correct. Women may have more options at a given time, but biologically prefer to date more monogamously. As a man you should try to build your own roster, but that doesn’t happen after 1 date - you at least a few dates with most of them involving sex for that girl to really be invested. So - push for the second date on the first date or at most a day or tw…
/r/seduction21/05/24 01:02 AM
1

3 second rule is huge for a few reasons. First is that is prevents you from overthinking and chickening out. But more importantly, a high value man who values his time and is used to getting positive reactions from women would never wait to approach
/r/seduction20/05/24 02:57 AM
1

You literally saw her get on the train and sat near her for a while….if you wait until she’s leaving then yes there’s no other way at that point lol
/r/seduction20/05/24 02:54 AM
1

Imagine how a guy who gets lots of women (evolutionarily successful) would act toward one of the many girls on his roster. Now imagine how a guy who gets no girls (evolutionarily not) would act when a he somehow gets a date with an attractive girl.
/r/seduction18/05/24 02:37 AM
0

It sounds like you’re doing everything right and had some bad luck - just keep plowing ahead. It’s a still numbers game and rejection is part of the process. Also possible you’re meeting girls who are tipsy and just want to have fun that night.
/r/seduction05/05/24 05:34 PM
1

What is triangulating?
/r/seduction05/05/24 05:32 PM
10

I would suggest trying therapy. Your distrust and dislike of other people will otherwise hold you back in all sorts of relationships. You need to work through those basic blocks first. Therapy works wonders and a good therapist will even help you date more effectively
/r/seduction20/03/24 01:05 AM
5

You need to believe you’re hyper attractive. Internalize it. In that frame of mind, of course she’s flirting with you. I fully believe most guys miss signals simply because they lack the confidence to truly believe a women would be interested in them. Flirt back, see how she responds to light touch, make strong eye contact.
/r/seduction13/03/24 10:41 PM
3

Thanks for sharing and great work. Awesome to see actual experiences here instead of posts that just complain
/r/seduction11/03/24 09:14 PM
1

Such a poor attitude. Do you really think it matters that much what you say? That one day you’ll unlock the magic phrase that makes an opener or conversation successful? It’s all in tone, body language, delivery, confidence, being able to banter, hold eye contact, being able To flirt. The way you boiled it down misses that content delivered differently becomes different content. OP made it fun and playful
/r/seduction11/03/24 05:30 PM
6

It’s simple - most men can both do a lot better in real life than dating apps, and learning to approach and game in real life will actually improve you as a person and man. Swiping on the toilet will not
/r/seduction08/03/24 01:34 AM
5

It’s not that simple. Attractiveness to women is based on how you carry yourself. That can’t be conveyed on an app.
/r/seduction08/03/24 01:30 AM
15

The whole point is this never actually happens…
/r/seduction07/03/24 09:57 PM
3

Unless you're very overweight, trying to improve your looks is 1. fairly futile and 2. a lazy shortcut compared to true self-development. Much better to work on yourself to become comfortable in your own skin, build status and confidence, and learn game.
/r/seduction06/03/24 10:54 PM
3

No - you might want to re-read the above. The looks themselves are not what is important, it's all the other skills that are often associated with looks. Except its possible to build those other skills without looks too.
/r/seduction06/03/24 10:46 PM
8

Good looking men often develop a lot of these characteristics as a result of positive reinforcement through childhood and early adulthood. But a good looking guy who is unemployed, has no charisma, is extremely needy, and is socially awkward will still struggle with women. It's just that such a man is hard to imagine because those traits don't often go together.
/r/seduction06/03/24 08:59 PM
9

This is just flat out wrong - looks are maybe 7 or 8th on the list in terms of assets, behind: charisma, confidence, status, money, masculinity, ambition/drive, assertiveness, abundance mindset, etc.
/r/seduction06/03/24 06:18 PM
15

Indexing on looks is such a fatalistic attitude. Men have such a unique gift in that we are able to transcend our looks and work on ourselves to become more attractive by gaining status, social awareness, and confidence.
/r/seduction06/03/24 06:12 PM
20

Interesting, I was going to post the opposite. I wish I knew earlier that looks barely matter to women, compared to confidence, social skills, and game. I used to be so insecure about my looks, once I started to own it and started to work on myself and started approaching I saw results I didn’t think would be possible for someone like me.
/r/seduction06/03/24 01:51 PM
-1

This whole thread is missing the point. Attraction to women is not about looks. It’s about how you carry yourself. If you’re even wondering about your attractiveness, it’s a clear sign of feelings of inadequacy. You need to work on yourself and on self acceptance. Yes try to get more fit, dress well, but beyond that stop thinking about it.
/r/seduction05/03/24 03:06 AM
12

Women on Reddit (people on Reddit) are highly unrepresentative of the general population. People in real life are way more chill than most redditors, way more socially calibrated, and way less afraid or repulsed by strangers. Redditors are an especially asocial bunch. I have plenty of female friends who say they want to get approached. So never listen to advice on this topic from women on Reddit
/r/seduction04/03/24 09:54 PM
6

OPs point is it’s not always a shit test. You need to be able to read when she’s sincerely asking and expects a sincere response.
/r/seduction29/02/24 12:34 AM
2

She doesn’t care. I’m telling you she’s only feeling uncomfortable because you’re projecting your shame onto the situation and she’s mirroring that. If you just say hi how’s it going every time and build rapport and make it clear the rejection didn’t phase you she won’t be uncomfortable
/r/seduction25/02/24 01:46 PM
1

It doesn’t have to be awkward. You both hang out there, just become friends or least casual acquaintances. You have nothing to be ashamed of from shooting your shot. It’s only awkward because your projecting shame that she’s picking up on.
/r/seduction25/02/24 04:05 AM
1

He’s right. Humans are social creatures. The most dominant person in todays day and age is not the strongest or most assertive, it’s the person at the top of the social hierarchy. At an individual level that means being a leader in your circle and being well liked and well connected in that circle
/r/seduction22/02/24 11:43 PM
10

It doesn’t always need to be verbal, if you’ve expressed interest with strong eye contact and playful banter and she’s reciprocating. If you’re not able to do that, I’d suggest just leading with a “hey you’re cute, I wanted to say hi” in your opener.
/r/seduction22/02/24 03:36 AM
5

I’d suggest getting offline in that case. Women in real life are quite different
/r/seduction22/02/24 03:34 AM
3

Attractiveness and appearance are two different things. This post is great but should have clarified that it purely meant looks. For men attractiveness is much more holistic and involves things like status, wealth, charisma, social awareness, etc.
/r/seduction20/02/24 10:11 PM
1

A lot of redditors get strangely defensive about this. Yes, there’s nothing inherently wrong with video games - in moderation as a way to unwind. If they’re a major hobby for you, that’s both directly unattractive due to the “gamer” stigma around it, but it also means you’re in your house a lot more (and not outside growing, getting reps, making friends, developing social skills). Simply put, you are in your comfort zone. Which is fine if you’re getting the results you want in life already. But …
/r/seduction15/11/23 03:20 AM
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