piratepastfifty Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Have any of you made money from your divorce? Indirectly, yes. I was single. No kids (she had custody) and broke (e ask know why). So i trew myself into work. Got raises and promotions for all the work i put in.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/06/22 07:38 PM
2	Wife just lawyered up and I did the same Remember to not offer what you're capable of out of the gate. Go low and negotiate to what you are willing. If you start at what you want, it will go up from there. sounds like you're making lemonade. Good for you!	/r/Divorce_Men	25/02/22 03:09 PM
3	Whose paying the most alimony in this sub ! Let’s start naming figures boys Depends on your agreement. Mine says that it does. It can also say it doesn't. Lawyer knows best	/r/Divorce_Men	14/02/22 09:21 PM
3	What percentage of your income goes towards Alimony + Child Support? woo... just read this, glad my divorce was before 12/31/2018 ...	/r/Divorce_Men	19/04/21 12:19 AM
2	How can I help my dad? Peace be with you brother.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/02/21 06:56 PM
4	What's it like once the kids turn 18 and leave the nest? My experience... After high school, convos with my ex slowed dramatically. The kids become independent, they do their thing. No more soccer or doctor appointments to be notified of. I keep in touch with her, but only for "business" I do keep in touch with the kids though. As for financial obligations. That should be spelled out in the decree. If not. Start taking about it. You don't want a potential 6 figure question being held above your head	/r/Divorce_Men	24/01/21 02:52 AM
3	Soon to be divorcing, send help "Our" First Attorney? You need to have your own attorney who looks out for you. Get your own attorney. Figure out what you are comfortable with giving up - $ in CS, Alimony, assets, etc. First rule in negotiation is don't give away your position - but feel free to share with your attorney. Listen to your attorney! They have the experience and are looking at it from a 3rd person perspective - that being said, if you have inside information share it and use it. If you are living together now and s…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/01/21 05:34 PM
1	It happened. What I learned from my divorce, was that the first one to leave the house without a separation agreement was at a serious disadvantage. Make sure your attorney is good and points this out -that you are probably in the drivers seat because she left. Good luck! (I'll point out that this is not a good sub for learning about happy marriages. Sounds like your stbx is not stable. There are good marriages out there, you normally don't hear about them though because they are not bitching and they are no…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/01/21 05:49 PM
1	broken by the system I think its two separate statements. 1- His wife cheated. 2- He's 3 years into the divorce. I do think your advice is solid though - 100k on an attorney and he's in that bad of a situation. Might need another.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/01/21 05:31 PM
3	Sex after filing? Can you separate yourself from 'just sex' vs 'love'? If you can have 'just sex' and not fall 'in love' and not move forward with your plans, I wouldn't do it. If you can and still move out in Feb, go for it. As for me, there was no more sex after. For a friend, there was 'we shall never talk ever about this' was her reply. Only you can decide what is best for your mental health.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/11/20 04:45 PM
1	Getting promoted while divorcing Seems to be direction m discussion on my comment... your alimony is based on the lifestyle you lived. Not on the lifestyle you may live. Base your income on the past and now.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/02/20 12:45 AM
1	Dads what does child support get your kids? I don't have my kids 50/50 but every other weekend. I looked at CS as money I gave her to take care of the kids. We split medical 67/33 (me/her). This is in addition to alimony. The way I see it, she has them virtually full time and needs to take care of them.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/02/20 08:56 PM
2	Dads what does child support get your kids? a decision I will regret for the rest of my life. Or until the alimony and child support end ;)	/r/Divorce_Men	25/02/20 08:54 PM
5	Getting promoted while divorcing During your marriage. I wouldn't bring it up (check with your attorney) as its a not a guarantee. My income increased after my divorce because I spent a lot more time working and was rewarded for it.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/02/20 08:49 PM
3	I recently found out my wife has been unfaithful to be for the past few months, and I can't be with someone who'd do that to me. Looking for any advice on where to start. I'm in NC.. so a few notes. I may conflict with some other advice below, but this is specific to NC. 1) Contact a lawyer. Do not use those 'men's attorney's' they are full of it. Get one that is familiar with your county. 2) Do not tell her you know. Wait until the lawyer advises its ok. You may need to collect additional evidence. 3) Do NOT move out! This significantly weakens your position 4) You never know what she may come up with (he's abusive to me!). Trust me here, I couldn't beli…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/02/20 06:29 PM
3	Is there anyone divorced who maintains a peaceful relationship with their ex? we're civil with each other but not friends. We talk (well, IM really) about the kids and schedules. for the first time after 3 years I had a conversation with her that was nice - maybe 20 mins. So yes, you can get along. Kids/me have not met the BF yet... that would be interesting...	/r/Divorce_Men	14/02/20 09:17 PM
3	What do I do? Kids are far more observant than we give them credit for. When we sat the kids down to tell them we were getting divorced, I think it was a formality. They already knew without us saying anything...	/r/Divorce_Men	25/01/20 05:45 PM
1	Custody Exchange Help Then it's not you and its not the divorce. Don't take it personally. I know easy to say, but you can do it!	/r/Divorce_Men	25/01/20 04:35 PM
2	Monetary Obligations during Separation That would depend on his income and cost of living. A friend just divorced and gymnastics in a relatively low cost area is $300/month OP - you need lawyer. Sounds like you're not sure of the rules and you could get eaten up if she has a good attorney....	/r/Divorce_Men	25/01/20 04:34 PM
5	What do I do? Well, that's pretty well laid out.. I don't agree with everything but I think the advice is pretty good. I'll just add in comments about your son. I thought about this before divorce - my parents were divorced when I was young. Didn't want the two parents thing for my kids, but I also wanted my kids to learn what a healthy marriage was like vs two people living together. I think I made the right choice. I'm happier now, I hope she is. Don't stay together for the sake of a kid...	/r/Divorce_Men	25/01/20 03:39 PM
2	Custody Exchange Help Try not to take it personal, I know you're saying you are, but from what you wrote, its not you. The kiddo loves being with grandma. Would she act the same way if there was no divorce?	/r/Divorce_Men	24/01/20 08:21 PM
3	Tough morning for me. I'm sympathy.. that shits just wrong... My ex has a bf now, but she got him after we separated (that I know of). Even 3 years later, the kids tell me they haven't met him yet.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/01/20 08:19 PM
1	Tough morning for me. Ouch. I started reading and thought, well, you can all still sit together than I read the part about mommy marrying her new boyfriend. Faaaack. I feel for you. > we told the kids about the divorce 14 days ago... and they've been meeting the boyfriend for the last two months. What? She was seeing someone else in front of the kids before you two split up? Danggg!	/r/Divorce_Men	24/01/20 07:38 PM
3	How to tell your spouse you want a divorce that's one way to do it... ;)	/r/Divorce_Men	23/01/20 04:01 AM
8	The loss with Divorce From experience, I can tell you, it gets better over time. I had the same things - you think about another man with her and it makes you sad - like you weren't good enough. That she is yours, not his. (women forgive me for saying it that way, its a feeling - women are not possessions). She left me as well. But you know what really helped me out? Interacting with her. Realizing she's not the same person that I married. That after 20 years, we both grew our separate ways. I try to imagine myself w…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/01/20 11:35 PM
1	Advice? My agreement specifically stated that the kids were not to be moved out their current system without approval from both parents. Check what yours says...	/r/Divorce_Men	22/01/20 07:05 PM
5	disgusted/angry/hurt Nothing wrong with your feelings. It does suck. However, keep in mind its just money. You can make more and get back on track. Don't worry about her. Once I had that mind set, it became a lot easier especially as the debt went down.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/01/20 05:50 PM
0	Separation On the separation part - her leaving is a big thing. Its going to put her in a weaker negotiating spot if it comes to divorce. You don't mention kids, but if they are in play, its also not looked kindly by the courts. how long is she moving out for? Do you plan on reconciling? Or is the separation the first step towards divorce? For divorce not separation, read below: I'm going to go contrair here. If you don't have kids and its an amicable split, forego the lawyer for each and try to find one t…	/r/Divorce_Men	04/11/19 04:28 PM
3	Sole provider - Role-reversal Why not just sell the car?	/r/Divorce_Men	03/11/19 03:58 PM
2	What if I put my half of the house into a trust for the kids as part of the settlement? What state are you in? I've never heard of 'half the house'. Where I am (NC) only one person gets the house. Because its an asset, you have to decide who gets it. With no mortgage, I'd presume you'd get an appraisal and then the one person buys out the other. From what you want to do, I'd suggest buying it out from your wife and then putting the entire thing in a trust. I was in a similar boat, but my Ex bought out the house from me and they live there now. Yes, memories and all.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/11/19 03:52 PM
4	Got served this evening after being out of town for work. Returned home and a process server was there. What was written in these papers.. horrible.. it’s “lawyer speak” according to her. Child abuser, drug abuser, alcoholic, cheat. Every possible thing. All lies. Never felt like this in my life Get a good attorney and document everything. When I was going through my divorce, her attorney said that "I lay on the couch all day, not doing anything but watching TV". Say wut? I don't watch TV and I don't lay on the couch. I've asked her a couple times over the years - did you really say that? And it was met with silence. I guess she was painting the picture of the victim. It's not 'lawyer speak', its her trying to build up a stronger case against you. I wish I had fought back harder, but …	/r/Divorce_Men	07/09/19 04:26 AM
5	How long? You need a better attorney. I don't know what state you're in, but in NC this would be over pretty quickly I think...	/r/Divorce_Men	23/08/19 03:22 PM
1	ex may have remarried. Not sure what state you're in, but in NC, you don't even need to be married just 'cohabitating' - meaning living together.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/08/19 04:08 PM