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pisellipod Archive

View 25 posts and 150 comments by pisellipod on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
114

DISCUSSIONpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 09:39 AM
38

DISCUSSIONpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen12/11/17 11:42 PM
36

DATING ADVICEpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen30/06/17 09:17 PM
29

DATING ADVICEpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen07/01/18 08:57 AM
27

DISCUSSIONpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen06/04/18 11:23 AM
25

pisellipod/r/RedPillWomen16/04/19 07:44 AM
25

LTR/MARRIAGEpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen22/08/17 12:26 AM
23

DISCUSSIONpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen03/12/17 06:28 PM
21

DISCUSSIONpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen28/07/17 05:31 PM
20

SELF IMPROVEMENTpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen04/12/17 09:19 AM
19

DISCUSSIONpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen08/07/17 01:33 PM
18

DISCUSSIONpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen20/07/17 12:37 PM
16

DISCUSSIONpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen09/08/17 09:45 PM
12

DISCUSSIONpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen07/08/17 12:24 AM
11

LTR/MARRIAGEpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen08/03/20 05:09 PM
10

Question For Womenpisellipod/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/18 08:35 PM
10

LTR/MARRIAGEpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen22/08/19 06:43 PM
9

ADVICEpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen23/01/18 07:01 AM
8

ADVICEpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen13/06/18 01:02 PM
7

ADVICEpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen02/10/17 10:48 AM
7

ADVICEpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen30/11/17 07:38 PM
7

DISCUSSIONpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen06/02/18 06:53 PM
3

LTR/MARRIAGEpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen10/12/19 08:35 AM
2

ADVICEpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen22/08/18 01:43 PM
0

DATING ADVICEpisellipod/r/RedPillWomen23/02/19 06:09 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Yeah, the friendship did start to become a little competitive, you're absolutely right. It didn't use to be that way, so it's just sad how the dynamic has evolved. I definitely still have to work with her so I agree I should maybe keep it a "professional level friendship" rather than a "real friendship."
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/20 03:31 AM
0

It doesn't promote passing judgement on others for not doing so. There's a lot of fat hate on TRP and only a touch of it on RPW. I'm pretty sure most RPW are judgmental of morbidly obese women.......
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/20 03:30 AM
0

I'm perfectly happy for her and what she's achieved. The problem with the friendship is she's not happy for me because I'm attractive and have a boyfriend, and she struggles with this in her own life. I have tried to support her with her personal stuff but she always resents me for helping her. I don't think she's a good friend to me either, if she's jealous of me being more polished than her or whatever. It may seem like I treat her badly but I simply have omitted snarky things she's said to me…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/20 03:16 AM
1

"You" barely exist anymore. Yes. personal suicide that is (fortunately) recoverable? Recoverable - that's comforting, because I've been in this dark place for about six months. a serious dissociative state. Yes. I'm not taking any medication but maybe I should, temporarily, because I cannot get myself to feel joyful emotions anymore. I get up and go to work and do my job but I'm just....empty. I buy clothes/purses/shoes I like but I don't feel joy. I travel to my desired destinations but I don't…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/19 11:37 PM
1

It's one thing to empty yourself of negativity and attachment; it's quite another to empty yourself of humanity. You're exactly right. I also don't want to blame others - because I have been accused of being "negative" or "unhappy" because of this era of positive thinking - but at the same time I've just emptied out everything in my head. I don't have much to say to people anymore. I'm completely detached and I'm freaked out. Trying to live in the present became terrifying because I had nothing …
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/19 08:13 PM
2

This sounds like you don't have a vibrant inner life. What are you doing with your time? What are you interested in? What have you learned/accomplished lately? Or are you stagnating? I think I'm stagnating. I have definitely lost some passion in life and honestly I think it's due to meditation - going on this Buddhism / "emptiness" trend. I don't want to blame the "happiness" era but in the past few months I've learned to be "happy on my own." I mean in some sense I learned to just sit idly with…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/19 05:52 PM
1

Two introverts relying on texting to communicate doesn't sound like the ideal method for what your relationship requires right now. I'm more introverted than him but yeah, we definitely have communication issues. I know that he has brief conversations with his family as well and he spends a lot of time reading or on the computer. He's the type of person to talk if there's a reason to talk - a little bit oppurtunistic. For example he only talks if it's a business opportunity or As for me I defini…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/19 05:42 PM
1

Good idea.
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/19 02:55 PM
2

It sounds like he perceives you as a complainer these days? Sometimes we women think we're creating intimacy by talking about our deepest feelings, and men just hear it as a complaint. I know, it's frustrating. I think this could be it. I try not to complain but again, the distance does not make it easy. We don't have activities together. I can tell him about my day but that's really it. I've sent him some article links on Whatsapp but he doesn't respond to them. Again I realize that we can't ma…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/19 02:55 PM
2

We have similar lifestyles and values. We're pretty artistic and we eat healthily and we believe in family. I think we still care about each other but our problem is a social problem. I guess we're both kind of introverts. The LDR makes it difficult to tell what is going on, for sure, and the problem is we don't know where or when we can actually be in the same place. Since we're LDR then our relationship is based on texting. We don't talk in person much. As I said it's a social problem. Then wh…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/19 10:58 AM
1

They're absolutely real because I know his former colleagues and they confirmed the story of him being framed, and the cheques being forged.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 10:52 AM
2

I believe in karma, I really do. I believe that our actions and how we treat people will come back to bite us (or benefit us). If that's the way he treats a woman, who clearly made sacrifices in every way...that's on him. It really is. It's just my own dumb fault for being too kind and trusting. Thanks for your kind words.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/19 12:29 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/19 05:55 AM
2

I'm sorry if you were led astray by this man It's my own fault, and I realize this. I had some nagging suspicion in the back of my mind but I didn't have the guts to leave. Like you said, I tried to convince myself of the good, and I tried to reason why I should stay. until he's proven to be worthy of you to surrender to him and make those sacrifice This is something I'm learning now. I spent too much time improving MYSELF and trying to be the best girlfriend/future wife that I could be. It didn…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/19 05:55 AM
1

I acknowledge that I'm also not a perfect woman, and that was another justification to continue trying for this guy. But in the end, I think the gaps in maturity and stability are too big. Thank you for being sensible.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/19 10:07 PM
1

Thanks for the inside scoop!
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/19 10:04 PM
1

The positive thing about the long distance is that I do have a good life on my own. So even though his personal situation is not ideal, I'm living the best life I can (satisfying job, high salary, lots of travel). But yeah, it's just the headache of dealing with his circumstances is that it puts an additional burden on me. It's a burden, not something that is positively contributing to my life. I think that's the root problem. He's dragging me down instead of combining our forces together to mak…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/19 09:22 PM
3

You want a teammate, and it sounds like for the past 4 years, you’ve been carrying this team. You are exerting so much emotion, time, and money into this relationship, and he isn’t growing. he needs to grow up himself Yes, absolutely. Thank you for your validating words and reasoning.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/19 09:03 PM
1

Like Jung said, many things you think are fate are really your subconscious mind pulling your strings. You have it bad and you're supposed to. I think I had it "bad" for him throughout the relationship, but lately, I feel repulsed. I don't know. It will take a bit of time to see how my inner feelings pan out. I understand what you're saying about the unconscious needs/actions, though. When we met, I was struggling with anxiety and depression, and that might be why I stayed for so long. But I hav…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/19 08:47 PM
5

Otherwise he's going too drag you down too. Emotionally and financially. The longer I stayed in this relationship, the more I realized this unfortunate possibility. And I'm frightened of having my life in a train wreck like this.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/19 08:34 PM
1

My energy is running out by this point. I put a lot of effort hoping it could work. I think it's time to admit that it won't.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/19 08:33 PM
3

Look at what the man does, not what he says. I completely understand what you're saying. I tried to be trusting, I really did. I tried to believe in the good. Deep down, I know that he has nothing to prove in his actions. It took me a long time to acknowledge this truth, unfortunately. I was too trusting. I relied on hope and faith, but ultimately, you're right. He has showed nothing in his actions, and only with empty words. But Im willing to bet you've asked yourself if the "Interpol will arre…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/19 08:32 PM
2

The attractiveness scale is a neat idea, in my head it sounds like the perfect way to rationalize your couple's attractiveness level (rich athletes date flawless supermodels, handsome intellectuals date artistic and pretty women) but I probably shouldn't sit her down and do this exercise. She might actually already know her league and just isn't willing to accept the reality. As for the drinking, yes, she's a lone drinker, and a binge drinker, she's that person who can't sip on wine but downs al…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/19 06:20 PM
4

That's true, I probably shouldn't give her advice unless she specifically asks for it. She definitely knows the problem though. I think she maybe feels frustrated because she had a long way to go with the beauty and body weight and feminine habits. I just feel bad because when I talk to her, I can see that she doesn't feel like anything is good enough, she doesn't feel appreciated enough, she constantly needs validation, and she just reads too much into signals from other people. Like if someone…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/19 12:52 PM
1

That's a good point,I haven't been direct with her but I do notice her trying a bit to be more feminine. She's started to match her clothes and she tries to toss her hair during the day (or ruffle her hair, for more volume). Problem is her efforts are not enough, she doesn't wear makeup, she doesn't blowdry her hair (it's a total mess, air dried, frizzy and not brushed), and the weight is a huge issue. I've noticed she has stopped inhaling her food (because I'm a slow eater) but she got passivel…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/19 12:47 PM
-5

Again, I am not saying I did not make a mistake. I did make a mistake. And I am in God's name trying to stop it because the working relationship is so complicated, and in my other comments I wrote that when I drew boundaries, the man would accuse me of treating him negatively. He would be so nice and kind and flirty with me and I would ask him to stop or deny his interactions. He would not understand and accused me of being negative and moody towards him. I told him we are not friends and he acc…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/19 08:24 PM
0

I understand, I also agree, and thus why I'm trying my best to stop the situation - because the male colleague just could not understand why I was drawing boundaries (I'm talking about in the past too). Does that make sense? I drew boundaries and he still doesn't understand. Again I'm not saying I'm not at fault, but I'm simply saying - work relationships between men and women become very complicated - we are FORCED to do projects together. I can't deny him meetings. It's part of our job.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/19 08:15 PM
-1

Ok, so first of all I apologize for anything I've done to make you feel like it's appropriate to insult me over the internet. I wrote here asking for help, and I'm wanting constructive advice, not bitchy insults. So I'm sincerely sorry if I made you think I was a horrible person for trying to draw some strong boundaries with a male colleague, and trying my best to keep my job amidst the difficult working relationship because my boss forces us to work together. In terms of the actual issues at wo…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/19 07:24 PM
-8

Of course I don't want to ruin anything...I'm not trying to ruin my relationship nor his, but as I keep saying, I'm assigned to him as a partner at work. Even if nothing was going on outside of work (we never met outside of work) - I can't stop the fact that my boss forces us to be together in a room, alone, working on long-term projects together. That to me was the most difficult part. By avoiding him or avoiding interaction with him, I'm pretty much failing at my job.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/19 07:17 PM
-2

I think it sounds more aggressive than that when I say I started a fight - we've been having some issues anyway. I should have said "I laid down some boundaries." Yes, I was involved in an emotional affair - but I stopped it because I realized what was going on. It was difficult to get away from it because of the work situation. I'm not saying what I did wasn't wrong, I'm just saying that when a man and a woman have to work so closely together, it's very difficult not to get some sort of attachm…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/19 06:54 PM
-3

Really good point, actually. Because all the fat girls I know are HILARIOUS, socially adept and super helpful. Which means they knew they had to get attention/friends somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/18 08:50 PM
2

Sure, good points and reminders. I don't actually know who Elizabeth Gilbert is but just Googled her and now I understand what you're trying to convey.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/18 02:56 PM
3

I may come off as a party girl in words, but I'm actually a huge home body - artistic doesn't mean party party, it just means nerdy reading, writing, drawing, composing at home. I can definitely try to tone it down in the exterior. I don't know, it's all very confusing. I haven't met any of these men through drinking or parties if that helps. I'm not a heavy drinker anyway. Dates don't typically involve alcohol. Definitely I should be looking for actually single men, problem is that I was deceiv…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/18 02:36 PM
1

He's from Italy, and I've been there and most women I've seen at the beach - low body fat but hips and boobs. His brother's fiancee has similar body type and it surprises me how she can have boobs but literally have no body fat elsewhere. She's stick thin and 31. It's genetics.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/18 06:27 PM
1

Men are MUCH less concerned with intelligence in their partners, for example. They'd much rather have an average-IQ girl who cares about their happiness and well-being than an intelligent woman who doesn't. This is also what I hope for. It really is. I've been yelled at by past boyfriends because I didn't know an answer to something. I'm totally serious. And I was hurt because I did exactly what you described: "care about their happiness and well-being" yet I still got shat on. I was even yelled…
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/18 07:41 PM
1

Men don't have high expectations with regards to marriage. They have the same expectations they've always had. Be pretty, be kind, cook well, be a happy mother to my kids, be supportive. Is it really though? That was one of the point of my post. We can't just be homemakers anymore. We have to be interesting and have a career, otherwise we're boring if we just take care of household tasks. We have to be able to have interesting conversations and bring something to the table BESIDES domesticity an…
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/18 05:38 PM
2

I really appreciate everything you wrote - I'm aware of your advice but it's good to have reminders. Especially: When you want something, you have two ways of getting it: going after it (asking) or attracting it (making them come to you). Absolutely. I always did the first strategy, I'm currently trying to work on utilizing the latter. you'll have way more effective results directing your energyat making yourself desirable. Yes, completely agreed. You want someone who wants a partner, not a maid…
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/18 08:40 AM
1

THank you, I'll keep it in mind. Could you give me an overview of how to deal with dissociation? I know I dissociate because I can have outbursts that are too excitable - not even anger but sometimes just overly emotional. I also have ADHD tendencies (but never diagnosed), perfectionism, anxiety, depression. It sounds like I have a lot of symptoms that you had. I've done a lot of self-improvement in the past few years that's helped with trying to be less anxious, less judgmental of myself, less …
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/18 08:17 AM
1

True. I don't really talk about achievements but I would say I never used to have strong opinions. That's when I got yelled at - I was too doormat or whatever. So I started working on what was meaningful to me, but some could say I'm too arrogant or inflexible because I hold strong opinions or discipline in what I do. I was yelled at for being too wishy-washy and too submissive.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 05:07 PM
1

Yes, I've tried, but the problem is deeper than that. I meditate and am mindful but then I actually become empty. I feel nothing and feel no emotion and become blank. I dissociate. The problem is much deeper than that, and I'm aware it's a hindrance to LTRs, which is why I've been trying to lower my standards...I just don't know how low anymore. I can always try CBT again (I do journal) but I feel I lack character and passion for life when I become that rational. And sometimes when I try to thin…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 04:44 PM
1

Yeah, you're probably right. I'm an artist and all of us are interesting but have big egos. It's a curse and a blessing. A man meets me and says I'm stimulating but it's not always a good thing. I can be very feminine sometimes though. Just not lately. It feels like I have to choose whether to be one or the other. Although in the past when I've been really humble, I've gotten shat on and yelled at by an ex boyfriend for not being confident enough. Just frustrated lately.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 04:42 PM
1

All of my exes have had some sort of delinquent history. I myself have a madonna/whore complex. I'm too crazy, too passionate. I'm sure I've got an awful past that someone like you wouldn't like either, no matter how exciting/funny but sweet/domestic I am. My most recent boyfriend seemed to be a good match - intellectual equal but also a complement in all the right ways. Liked excitement but wanted a traditional dynamic. We could have fun together but also talk about history and culture. Talked …
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 04:34 PM
1

Yeah :/
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 04:32 PM
1

Which means self-image, interaction with others, activity level and generally how fun you are to be around. All impacted. Not having these well-dealt-with will murder your chances at a good, strong leader. Because while a man is fine with a submissive first officer, he doesn't want an invalid or a headcase. If anything I can be too full of myself, too egotistical...too fun. I can come off as too strong, actually. That's why I've tried to dumb down and be less strong of a personality. I'm actuall…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 03:41 PM
1

Do you live downtown of a major urban centre? Yes, and this is probably the problem. There are many young attractive women that move here for a few months to a few years - not looking for a LTR because they're here short-term. It's easy for men to date a variety of attractive women with absolutely no commitment required. And it's just as easy to replace one if something goes wrong.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 03:38 PM
1

Some on dating apps, some at the gym, some at the store, some through friends/colleagues. I'm sure I'm just over thinking it.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 03:35 PM
1

Alternatively, are you just that competent and capable of a woman? No I'm not, absolutely not!! That's why I'm scratching my head trying to figure out who's a good match for me. I know I'm smart and capable but I'm no supermodel, I'm not a lawyer, I'm not a business owner. I'm well-read, well-rounded and decently attractive young woman, but by no means am I excelling in any way. That's why I DON'T look at money. I look at their personality and character first and foremost. A basic financial stab…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 03:34 PM
1

Yeah I agree. I mean my first and foremost requirement is that we get along emotionally and intellectually at the same level. Usually when that happens, incomes/lifestyle are similar anyway. You likely won't be happy with less. Not for the money, but for the skills, attitude, ambition, and competence that is associated with the high income. Yes exactly. Again biggest requirement is to get along.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 03:30 PM
2

I feel like I'm trying to open up. I am really trying to show interest in "plain men" or simply show I'm available. They seem to never ask me out or never want to continue dating after 1-2 dates, though. The plainer men probably think I'm out of their league even if I try to show interest. It's really difficult because you can't force attraction. I'm totally open to lowering my standards but I also don't want to date/marry a man I don't find attractive simply because he's the only one that will …
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 03:27 PM
1

I can certainly try. I am really trying to lower my standards. I'm just trying to find someone on an equal standard to me, because of course I can't go TOO low. I guess it just takes time to find what that is. Some of the problem is that 5-7's aren't interested in me. I still have to find a man that's first and foremost interested in me so I know he actually wants to be with me, not just because I'm convenient. I don't really even feel that I'm going for 8-9's - none of the men I date are really…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 02:17 PM
2

A guy who's compatible with you, will want the type of joy you can provide. For example: I'm not all that smart nor cultured, and I'm not even much to look at. I just really love sex, and I'm crazy in all the fun kind of ways. I've always made this clear to men I dated (and laughed at the way their eyes lit up). I understand what you're saying. For me it's also important to have joy in a relationship. As "smart or cultured" I am, I'm looking for a man to relax and have fun with. That's why it bu…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 01:52 PM
8

Exactly. I was brought up in a very traditional household. My mother taught me to be a respectful woman that admires her husband, takes care of the household, takes care of him. But men don't want this anymore. We have to have a job, not just any job but an interesting career, we have to be interesting, always fun, we have to be everything, keep up with men, but still be traditionally feminine. I can't do all of this. I don't expect my man to be everything. I actually expect MYSELF to maintain m…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 12:59 PM
1

But, for those looking for a relationship perhaps let guys know what you bring. What are your hobbies? Interests? Personality type? Be more creative than, I like to watch Netflix, have fun, listen to music, and sometimes stay in. No hook ups. This is the thing. I have something to bring to the relationship. I speak three languages and am always improving two of them (the ones that are not native). I work in the arts industry. I work out (Ok that could be generic), I actually don't watch TV or Ne…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 12:31 PM
1

I think they all had some sort of troubled past. Two of my ex boyfriends got expelled from school (although they picked themselves back up again and have jobs now). One was fired from his corporate job and he resigned from his second corporate job. Another had a incident with a previous company regarding a loan (difficult to explain). My most recent one probably is the most stable out of all of them - he was employed right after college to a good company, now he's in the Air Force and is doing r…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 12:20 PM
1

Thank you for sharing your experience. Can I ask how old you are (if the men wanted to date an older woman)?
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 12:10 PM
3

Hmm. Yes I am just thinking about what you said. I'm not sure if I'm dating men who have options better than me though. Just as an example of my ex-boyfriend: He can get laid easily, but they're to women who are just for sex. By that I mean he can't get laid with women who he can talk to and run a household with. He's complained that the women he's met are just for sex BECAUSE he can't have a conversation with them. With me it was the whole package, and I could even contribute financially and po…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 11:33 AM
0

I agree, but if he's single and looking, he's not going to stay home by himself. If he's single, he'll still have a social life with his buddies. Usually men will stop going out once they find someone but if they haven't, they usually continue their bachelor lifestyle.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 11:24 AM
1

Yes, understood completely. I am aware of this and thus I don't place a high expectation on salary - simply stable and responsible - because I know there are plenty of other qualities that are high in SMV/RMV. I'm just trying to prove I'm not a gold digger because women are always accused of wanting a rich husband. I don't have that expectation for myself.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 11:22 AM
1

Sometimes dating apps, sometimes at the gym or even in grocery stores. Outings with groups of friends.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 11:20 AM
1

I understand. I think the men I've met have had a few buddies who went through divorce rape, even if it didn't happen to them personally.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 11:20 AM
3

Financial stability, traditional family structure with eventual children, healthy lifestyle (no cigarettes, no excessive alcohol, has fitness in their life), someone I can talk with and enjoy my time with. That's really it..
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 11:16 AM
1

Thanks for the reminder - I've just been frustrated lately. I'm sure it will be fine. I beat myself up often because I always think it's my fault whenever something goes wrong - you could say that I'm a perfectionist. But at least I try to improve. After every LTR ended I tried to take something positive to learn from the relationship and add it to my life. Like I said - I'm usually happy-go-lucky but I have bouts of frustration/anxiety that can really put me down for a few days.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 11:15 AM
1

Sure, thank you for the kind answer. I had a serious LTR for 1.5 years when I was 24. He was someone still getting established in a small business. Essentially he was a freelancer. I think he had some hidden anger though because he was fired from a corporate job and he quit his second corporate job because he didn't want to sit at a desk all day. Second LTR for 1.5 years, he had a lot of financial instability, but he treated me well and I saw how hardworking he was even though he struggled. We w…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 10:10 AM
1

If you have all the great qualities and the people you date all say that you have them, then it has to be something else. Yes I agree. I'm trying to figure out what I can do to improve (in myself). I'm just not sure what it is. I know that I fall into depression sometimes and can be anxious, this is my weakness. But I need to show my weaknesses, it doesn't make sense to pretend everything is perfect especially in an intimate relationship. Also, how are you presenting yourself and coming off as t…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 09:02 AM
1

Thank you...it's definitely important to not make my desires known.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 08:53 AM
2

Don't worry so much about it, just find a good guy and commit to him. It could be that you are the type who over thinks? Yes...
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 08:51 AM
1

That's good advice. I'm usually vibrant, I'm just really down the past few days and pessimistic - I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself. It's a good reminder to STFU and keep positive, thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 08:18 AM
1

But he knows he can do just as well or better so why would he commit? That wasn't the problem. His problem was that he feels there's no need for marriage because it's "just a contract" - some men will date a woman who is dear and loving to him, and EVENTUALLY marry her because this is the typical thing to do. My ex was the type that basically said I was a quality girl, one to marry because I treated him so well, but he wouldn't marry to "make us an official couple" UNLESS it was absolutely neces…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 08:09 AM
2

Thank you, I like this comment. Edit: you talk about all you have to offer, which is good but remember that men devote themselves to women who need them. There is something about me (that I didn't mention) that "needs" a man. I get very emotional and clingy, and I tend to cling to my boyfriends (not all the time but simply occasionally). I get struggle with depression and anxiety and slight social anxiety and I feel it is a strong hindrance when I'm dating. So I do need an emotionally strong man…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 08:06 AM
3

So apparently I have to marry a deformed man with unstable finances or accept that I'll just be a forever girlfriend to a guy I can get along with and care about, cook for, yet is so afraid of divorce rape he won't secure commitment even if I prove my loyalty and companionship? I guess that's what society has come to. I had a boyfriend who was amazing in every way, we had a great relationship, I took care of domestic tasks, gave him an amazing sex life, was loyal, yet he sees marriage as just a …
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 08:19 PM
3

I agree with this. I don't even think of men in terms of those qualities (rich, smart, handsome, charming). I think of "stable income, traditional family structure, good relationship - meaning good communication." Just shows you how the way I think of it vs the way a man THINKS how a woman thinks of it.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 08:12 PM
1

Sure, I understand. Although the background is more complicated than you think. I grew up in US where we're used to a certain salary that nowhere else in the world is used to. The men I date are European, specifically from poor countries (think Mediterranean, Balkans). So I'm settling for a MUCH lower standard of life even compared to the US because they are so used to a lower income - think free university, free social benefits. This is just a little more complicated than you think. I live in a…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 08:09 PM
9

I understand they're not judging me by income. The topic conversation is me vetting the men (the other way around) and to me, I'm aiming "low" because I deliberately chose to date a man with a lower income. It's just a different topic. I agree that a woman's income is insignificant to a man and not "attractive" but to a WOMAN it is a factor.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 08:06 PM
7

I understand they're not judging me by income. The topic conversation is me vetting the men (the other way around) and to me, I'm aiming "low" because I deliberately chose to date a man with a lower income. It's just a different topic. I agree that a woman's income is insignificant to a man but to a WOMAN it is a factor.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 08:05 PM
8

Thank you for the positive thoughts.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 06:48 PM
8

I mentioned money because the previous serious relationships I had were with men who were 3/4 of the qualities you mentioned. Of course I don't expect the perfect man - I'm definitely not the perfect woman. But if I settled for a man who was handsome, smart, charming but lacked stable finances or had a mediocre salary - so is THAT even aiming too high? Does that make sense? I have to lower even more and settle for 2/4 of the qualities? That's why I never mentioned the other 3.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 06:45 PM
12

And men don't have the same for women? When we get older, will you still want sex with us? Why not find a younger version?
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 05:09 PM
11

Of course and agreed. But RP always accuses women for being gold diggers so I'm simply trying to prove that I'm not one because I date men who make below my salary.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 05:08 PM
1

How am I focused on money if I've dated financially unstable men? Doesn't that say how much I DON'T stress on money? If I've always dated men with six figure salaries that's a different story. I only brought up the money issue because it was suggested I wanted a "rich husband" but I'm simply stating it's not true because I've always dated financially unstable men or men with medium salaries.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 05:05 PM
0

What I've seen generally is it's just female friends. Could be single or taken. But basically a co-ed social group. There are so many single men and women nowadays it's actually quite easy to get on fine without a spouse.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 04:32 PM
3

Don’t lose faith. Thank you. I just feel very frustrated. It feels like the problem is me (which I'm sure to an extent its is) but I am confident to say I always try to improve myself and stay humble.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 04:30 PM
10

Also, all of my LTRs have made significantly less than me and I have a large network in my industry. I would wager to say that I may be considered "higher" than them (if in terms of salary). I feel that I have lowered my standards a lot. I had serious relationships with financially unstable men. I feel that I am not asking for a rich husband at all.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 04:22 PM
4

Eh, there are stories to why men didn't want to commit. Some of it is me, for sure. But I do realize I might need to lower my standards even more - to marry a man who has no stable income and potentially can't provide for children. So I guess if I can secure marriage but potentially never have children because we can't afford it, I guess that's the standard I can get.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 03:57 PM
16

Not many girls want to be with a guy to build something. I had a serious relationship with a man that was "building something." They were struggling financially and just starting out in their careers. I was understanding and I put my faith and belief in him. Then he slapped me in the face with criticism and all my flaws, and I felt so insulted because I STAYED WITH HIM WHEN HE WAS UNEMPLOYED and yet he has the nerve to criticize me saying I'm not good enough for him. I left that relationship. I'…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 03:54 PM
2

A woman not being up to having fun seems fishy to me It's more like if she's not in a good mood to have fun. I've seen it happen. Girl isn't in a good mood, man wants to go out, so he goes out with a group of men and women. He can have fun with other girls (as friends) without her.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 03:50 PM
2

Thank you. I feel like I am really self-aware and many men in their 30's (who have been burned) make it really known that they know I'm self-aware about marriage and relationships and RP. However it doesn't help me feel like I'm just an awful species because I'm a burden and am really just good for youth and beauty and companionship but not for responsibility. I try really hard to be self-sufficient so I am not "something to be taken care of," I try to keep my mind sharp and learn new things, I …
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 03:43 PM
4

Lower your standards slightly and you'll have a husband in no time. But you probably cant because you're used to the best looking, smartest, mist charming, and richest men. This is absolutely not true. The highest salary I dated was 70k, I've never dated anyone over six figures and I DON'T expect to date or marry a man who makes that much money. They're all handsome, smart and charming but have some sort of "issue" with them - whether it's a broken heart, a divorce, unstable finances, ex-girlfri…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 03:06 PM
4

Is it REALLY though? I just ask this because I know so many men in their 30's who would rather live by themselves and "go out with the boys for dinner" instead of coming home to a boring wife. Doesn't matter if she's respectful and doesn't nag and puts dinner on the table. If she's not up to having fun or doesn't make the food he wants (we should all try to be good cooks but nobody is perfect), he'd rather go out and choose exactly what he wants to eat.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 03:02 PM
4

For security I guess. I mean for women our looks fade, so why wouldn't he just leave when we're 50 for a younger women, and there's no consequence for him but a consequence for us? (Being left alone because we're not physically attractive anymore) So then why wouldn't a so-called GOOD man WANT marriage though? Assuming he's SO "good" and smart enough to choose wisely a woman who is a good co-pilot. Then why wouldn't he marry her?
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 12:07 PM
11

Well on a woman's end, if I carry a man's child out of wedlock, he can easily leave me left to fend for myself and a child? Also isn't it nice to have the title of husband and wife? At least for a woman. For us it's a social status. Just as a girlfriend means there's something wrong with us. We're not good enough to be made into a wife. Doesn't matter whether it's personally for me but for every woman.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 11:44 AM
21

Dating doesn't mean having sex - I just mean going on dates and meeting men.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/18 09:55 AM
1

I know but you make it seem like there's a correlation between BPD and having a abnormally large ass....is there?
/r/TheRedPill10/04/18 10:08 PM
1

Strange question (and extremely late comment) but why does have a "bodacious ass" significant in characterizing these women?
/r/TheRedPill10/04/18 09:06 PM
1

It's a good question and I can honestly answer it's not about the wallet but rather about the HABITS and the social circle within each socioeconomic class.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/18 10:34 PM
1

Don't overthink backrounds and other small tidbits of info just focus on the man himself how you feel and how great he is. Thanks, this is a very well put statement and very important at that.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/18 03:50 PM
1

I understand what you're saying. My boyfriend is also superior in looks and personality - he's tall, EXTREMELY fit (he's the only boyfriend I've had who could pick me up with no trouble and carry me around for more than five minutes), handsome face, amazing sense of humor, respectful. It's not that he doesn't have "status" (he worked as a consultant for a major US company immediately after college) and now he owns a small business and works as a firefighter/paramedic. It was only his childhood t…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/18 01:30 PM
1

If you were 29, and looking for a beta bucks provider, you wouldn’t like him as much, nor would you care as much about what your parents think about him. (Which you do, because you write about it. People that don’t see a problem don’t even think about it enough to mention it) I'm 27, and not necessarily ONLY looking for a BB provider but a man who can be a leader of a family. He may make slightly less than me (because he only had a poor childhood, he's built himself up to a nice middle class inc…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/18 01:23 PM
1

think of it as marrying someone you perceive as "better". DEFINITELY. He has an amazing approach to life and amazing sense of humor and top notch social intelligence. Ultra responsible and knows how to navigate life but has fun and enjoys the good things. It's his character that makes me swoon not his money.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/18 12:57 PM
38

This is really interesting how short of time it takes (literally proves how sexual attraction works for men - one glance is either YES or NO) and you put it very concisely and how important it is to be visual. And to be honest, it really doesn't take much to get that "sexual look" from men. Have a healthy BMI, leave your hair long, wear attractive clothes, wear some makeup and jewelry, maybe paint your nails, be hygienic - and literally all those triggers do it for men. You don't even need to ha…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/18 05:39 PM
1

Thanks, and I agree especially because four months really isn't a long time to be dating. We haven't even travelled together or met families yet (granted both our families live outside the country). My hunch is he just needs time to feel "right" about me and there's nothing I can do except keep being me and be patient. Unfortunately this is a risk for all women - even if I'm the best version of myself and the relationship is going well, there's a risk he could still decide I'm not the one for hi…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/18 06:02 AM
2

I can try again to make it known as well. I'm not religious but from my cultural background, I'm also opposed to a no fault divorce. I think he's just taking his time to continue dating each other because like other users said, four months isn't that long of a time.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/18 05:56 AM
1

Yes ok i see your point. It just shows how naive I am because I don't think like this - when I think about marriage for me it's for life. I actually have never looked at any laws about splitting assets if one person left. I really don't know any of this because I don't think about divorce. I mean I think it's too early to bring any of this up now anyway, as you said four months is too short of time to really know.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/18 06:14 PM
1

I wouldn't mind signing a prenup if it meant him keeping what he has if I were the one to leave, but if HE cheated then I want the law on my side obviously. I don't really know how prenups work in that sense (if a man cheated or left the woman). I actually come from a well off family so I don't need to take someone's money as long as he takes care of me. The way I see it is it's a disadvantage to me if he cheated, because men cheat too. I definitely don't expect an engagement ring anytime soon, …
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/18 05:46 PM
6

I agree and I admire his insistence to be patient in developing our relationship too. It's important for the both of us.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/18 09:04 PM
5

And a lack of respect is up there on that list. Yes thank you for the very important reminder!
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/18 08:42 PM
8

It's a good sign he's cautious over marriage, it mean's he's as smart as you say he is. Yes and I keep telling myself it's a good thing we're BOTH cautious about it. I have horror stories of women going too fast into a marriage then their husbands end up having affairs etc. I do admire the fact he insists on taking time to get to know each other and making the relationship work.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/18 08:41 PM
1

That's a good point actually, and it's true that I am putting on a performance. I have some unstable moods sometimes and that's also when I retreat and stay alone, because I don't like to show people those moods. I know I have to deal with them myself on my own in any case. I'll try to work on acting more joyful in my head when I'm alone.
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/17 01:25 AM
1

The good thing is I can be very graceful and polite and welcoming - my post may have come off like I was rude. I am generally agreeable, the problem is I just cannot fill up space with mindless chatter. I'm totally OK just sitting and enjoying the moment in quiet peace, or just listening to people talk. It's true that I'm very observant. Thank you for the book suggestion, I have heard of it and will read it.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/17 11:24 PM
1

I tend to attract men who are also very intellectual. My current boyfriend works in cyber security and is a gymnast on his free time. All LTRs have never been fans of mindless chatter. I think it's just my social anxiety I do have passions and I get very excited when talking about it discovering new things, my boyfriend also enjoys this (and he is someone who hates women who gossip). I think I'm just socially anxious when I'm around women who gossip because I don't know what to do. I stay alone …
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/17 09:34 PM
1

Thank you for your post. I understand where you're coming from. I didn't mean to come off as those women are dumb or inferior - I certainly don't REALLY think that. I can be happy and joyful, but it's mostly that it's tiring for me to "perform" - I can be a great conversationalist and be smiley but I just can't do it for hours on end. I can do it for an hour but then I have to retreat back into my hole, if that makes sense. When I'm not "performing" (basically when I'm by myself) I'm simply neut…
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/17 09:21 PM
1

Hmm, not sure where this is coming from. I wasn't aware "being gabby" was a critical aspect of femininity, without which the entire frame falls apart. I think you may be overthinking this a bit. I could be over thinking it, and also it could just be my own perception because I am very sensitive to over stimulation. For instance sometimes at lunch break when the women are complaining or talking about trivial things - I listen and agree with them and sometimes will say something remarks here and t…
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/17 09:17 PM
1

I know how to small talk (I'm a teacher as a living so I have an extremely social job) but the problem is it's extremely tiring for me and I have to expend a lot of effort. I acknowledge these women have something nice about them to be around them and I am definitely ABLE to do this, I just cannot do it for long periods of time. Basically I can be social and make small talk but then I shut down a bit...I just can't do it consistently. It's more of bursts of being social. Often during social outi…
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/17 09:05 PM
3

This becomes survival, TBH. Women still have to compete with each other to be picked by high enough SMV/RMV men. We still need to survive ourselves. The women that don't learn and keep making the same mistakes over and over end up single for the rest of their lives, that's the sad part.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/17 05:57 PM
9

Or maybe a better example - I'm working on keeping myself in a more vulnerable, open state of mind, as opposed to being very reactive and anxious. I'm sure it's not really what TRP means by "holding frame" as a term of art, but it's definitely a skill to be able to recognize when I slip out of this state of mind, and consciously re-enter it. Life is full of frustrations and temptations, so whatever you want to call it, women absolutely need discipline and internal strength. I like this the most!…
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/17 08:54 AM
1

Good comment and examples!
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/17 10:46 PM
2

Are you saying this as a man or a woman? Do you mean you realized you as a woman will love a man for the circumstances or as a man, a woman will never truly love you?
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/17 09:54 AM
16

I guess I mean men who either gossip like a woman or whine about their problems, does that make sense?
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/17 07:44 AM
26

Yeah pretty much this. I know men who claim to want an "interesting woman who thinks" but never have they asked me to tell them about my hobbies or explain to them about a subject. They just care I can contribute to a conversation briefly and then shut up afterwards. The claim that they want a "woman with a brain because they all have vaginas" really means they want a woman who can control her emotions enough and independent enough that he doesn't have to take care of her.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/17 07:40 AM
58

For me it was the following: That even though high value men look for a disciplined and educated women, those qualities don't help in the INTERACTION with him. It's the personality and pleasantry, and the ability to have fun and go along with the flow and be pliable that attracts him. That men who whine and don't take responsibility for themselves are unattractive because those are beta qualities. Men who make decisions are attractive. Historically men have been conditioned to be stoic for a rea…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/17 11:47 PM
2

Thank you can I please ask another question? Another "theme" in my relationships is that my past and current LTR seems to never want to talk about the future/marriage straight away. It typically goes that he wants to enjoy my company and get to know each other first before talking about commitment. A lot of "let's see how it goes" but always in the end they are close to proposing but then I end it. This seems to go against RPW tenets of trying to get commitment before going further. What am I do…
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/17 07:07 PM
2

I have the same "cycle" in my LTRs - I almost married my last LTR and the one before that also came close to proposing. One of the biggest reasons was long distance (different countries) and feeling like maybe we weren't compatible. What can I do to make my current LTR successful?
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/17 04:24 PM
2

Almost all of my past LTRs have come close to engagement, lasting about two years.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/17 11:56 PM
1

Thanks I think this is the most helpful comment. I'll take a look into the book.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/17 07:34 PM
1

A girl who lies about her mental health to me (through omission or otherwise) is a major red flag. Don't feel the need to do that. Be honest about who you are. I'm not really lying about my mental health though. I've been very honest with everyone I've dated. Maybe I'm not explaining the problem correctly. I'm generally pretty happy and confident, honestly. It's that SOMETIMES I'm not OK, SOMETIMES I'm depressed. But to be honest I'm generally quite comfortable in my own skin. I'm just not perfe…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/17 04:38 PM
1

Thanks for your reply. If you aren't relying on your partner to "fix" things, just to give you space, then you're doing the right thing. No, I'm not relying on anyone to fix things for me at all, my problem is needing someone to accept who I am and my needs. And I'm afraid of showing that to someone close to me because of the expectation of me always being happy (my hypomanic side). Are you still actively addressing your mental health? You say your depression is "under control" but also that you…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/17 12:08 PM
2

Most suggest that women seek a good quality man that they're attracted to and use RPW techniques to make the relationship better. This is such a wonderful sentence.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/17 01:48 PM
1

I am very close to my father. I can consider myself a daddy's girl. He would always take care of everything for me, so maybe that's why that's why I have the vulnerable child part of me. He always tells me how beautiful I am and how I deserve a lot and how smart I am.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/17 09:16 PM
5

Is this a permanent state once reached, or a momentary thing you're feeling? Very good question. Actually it's just a momentary state of emotions. I usually manage to distract myself so that I get over the feeling. I think the deeper problem is maybe I am lonely, even in a relationship, and when I feel lonely I rely on him to fulfill that need. I have to make a huge effort to channel my loneliness elsewhere (gym, hobbies, documentaries, girlfriends), and I am certainly able to, but what I REALLY…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/17 04:55 PM
2

He does actually have a slight kink as well but I may be pushing it just a tiny bit off of the boundary, especially when I become extremely emotionally distressed.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/17 04:15 AM
3

I think part of it could be a fetish and I DO have the logic and rationale to act like a mature adult, but it causes a lot of emotional distress, SOMETIMES. For instance, I go through these waves where sometimes if I feel I'm not getting enough coddling, I'll be extremely attached, and he obviously will try his best sometimes but other times he just can't give me his mental energy, and I'll basically get my shit together and realize I have to be an adult and be independent and stop bothering him…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/17 04:13 AM
1

I think parenting needs to be considered more seriously rather than letting a woman work full-time and expect her to still educate her children in her "free" time because it takes so much effort to be a role model. If a mother is bringing home prepackaged snacks and stress eating, then the child will learn this.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/17 10:01 PM
1

I was shamed as a girl and teenager, but the problem was my mother didn't know how to feed us. She would bake cakes and buy pastries home and humongous bagels. Then when I gained weight as a young girl and a teenager she never stopped buying junk food yet she would shame me. She would also force us to finish our food even when I was full. I was really angry at her for a while, when I was an adult, because I wish I had a low BMI my whole life. I had to learn new lifestyles and recipes and eating …
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/17 09:00 AM
4

Everyone can control their weight. It's actually not as complicated as people and the media make it out to be. I wish more people know this. So many people blame genetics or other "external" factors but the simple fact is you simply have to eat less calories and move more. I know too many women in their 30's or 40's who have maintained their weight by strict diet and exercise so it's not impossible. It's you (fat people) who is the problem.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/17 04:54 AM
1

many men subconsciously love the idea of a powerful woman who is submissive or soft only for him. Good point, it's like conquering a woman to be yours.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/17 04:00 PM
3

There are certain forms of interaction or dynamics that RPW advocates (being a soft place to land, etc.) but filtered through different personalities, that dynamic may look different than you expect. After a rough day, some men would prefer to come home to a spouse who shows their love and support with a ribald joke, or a high-energy funny rant to take their mind off. That same woman may seem loud or obnoxious to you, but that doesn't mean she isn't respectful and a good fit for her husband. Tha…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/17 04:41 PM
3

Even in very old relationship books I've seen mention that some guys like the "firecracker" type. But that doesn't mean an angry mean selfish woman. Think of Lucille Ball in I Love Lucy. She's totally feisty, but still sweet and submissive. A different style from Audrey Hepburn, but still feminine. Yes I understand this too. I guess personally I feel stuck between being that sweet demure type and being the feisty type because I see there are men who like one or the other. I guess I should just b…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/17 04:34 PM
3

This makes sense actually! Like if a man isn't very confident in himself then he would be attracted to a confident woman who might have higher social status/skills. I have seen examples where the man is a bit lonely so he'll stick to a girl who is a leader in a big social circle.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/17 04:19 PM
0

I've gotten counseling before and they just told me to "love my body" and my BMI was fine because it's normal. In his country all the women look like that so it's normal and they don't really have body dysmorphia. It's culture for them.
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/17 12:41 AM
6

When he does get his shit together, he wants a woman who will complement him....be the yin to his yang. A man who needs a woman's influence to get a better job or improve himself will find himself alone before long. But this is so difficult. Most couples I know were dating before the man got a job. Some even got married before he got established.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/17 11:46 PM
1

Do you?
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/17 04:01 PM
2

Your comments are also very helpful because I think RPW emphasizes too much of "if he won't change then leave" or being too submissive and"dumb" and you make a good point of actually being a partner and being a good woman with a good head to help her man solve his problems.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/17 12:20 AM
1

Thank you, I will try this and see what happens. He has good intentions and a good heart and brain. I think he's just confused. He's throwing himself at too many things instead of investing long-term. That's why he keeps hitting his head against the wall. He's essentially living a vicious cycle.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/17 12:15 AM
1

Thank you again this is good advice. I have called him out on some things in the past and I saw how he tried to redeem himself. But you're right I do have a unique perspective that I know him, I know his situation but I'm not him. I just need to figure out a way to help him without pressuring him. He got defensive the other day when I called him out on something, but I'm pretty sure it was because I was saying it in a heated voice. He's very sensitive to angry tones of voice because his mother n…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/17 12:03 AM
3

Thank you this is helpful. I want to help him and get him in gear, but I'm very tentative because 1) male ego 2) I don't want to pressure him or emasculate him. I think that's why I'm just encouraging him and being compassionate. I don't want to tread the waters of being controlling. I've just heard of so many couples where the woman thinks she "made her husband into the man he is, he should thank her" and I don't want to be that woman. Meaning I don't want him to resent me for helping him. That…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/17 11:32 PM
2

I have told him he needs to give himself more credit for his value. I think the problem is he's settling for bad jobs because he thinks that's all he can get. The other problem is HE thinks he's stuck there while I think he's not. I've seen him hit his head against the wall many many times, he knows he's failed a lot too. The difference between us is he's negative about his prospects and future while I'm optimistic. I feel that I am at my limit to encourage him and it's up to him to make his own…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/17 10:43 PM
5

Ummm...no.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/17 10:14 PM
3

That's another great perspective and thank you. I know I can't pressure him and I shouldn't. I want to see him make his decisions by himself. He has been staying out less now that we've become more serious. He used to stay up past 1am or 2am with his buddies but nowadays he's more responsible with his sleep schedule. He's dressing more professionally too. I feel like he has become softer since we've become serious (we were casual for one year then became more and more serious). I wrote in anothe…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/17 10:09 PM
1

Interesting question. I know he has the attitude of being a provider and being independent. His father led a family company for decades but then since 2008 the business has been declining quite badly. I think that's where it's coming from. He has led this independence for so long (with the family company) so it's difficult for him to take the "easy job" working for a big corporation. I asked him this the other day. If any job you could have paid a good salary what would you do? He actually says …
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/17 10:02 PM
7

What's your boyfriend's long-term plans? To move up in the company? Grow his side projects into a legitimate business? Long-term, how is he going to be happy with his career? Because the way he answers that question and then implements it shows more about whether he's Captain material for you or not. Thank you this is very important to think about. And good coming from a man's perspective. Don't stay with him hoping/expecting him to change, figure out your dealbreakers and make wise decisions ac…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/17 09:52 PM
1

Yes he's not so happy I can tell. On my end I'm staying positive and happy and healthy. But I know that he has to solve his own problems. I know I can't change anything.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/17 09:51 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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