| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 3 | Custody scheduleFull disclosure, I’m ex wife. Kids went to dad’s in summers. Now they are adults. They do not have a meaningful relationship. Think this one through carefully. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/08/22 10:44 PM |
| 1 | Is this money lost?You say your mom helps you. How? Does that help from your mom benefit your stbx? In other words, could payments to her be viewed as cash for work? Amounts might also come into play. For example if you gave your mom $1,000 for an hour of babysitting, that’s not a reasonable rate of pay and your ex might try and claw it back, but $50 to help her buy groceries might be okay. If your wife knew or it was reasonable for her to know, you might be able to argue they should be excluded. NAL. Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/22 01:45 PM |
| 2 | COVID-19 with co-parented kidsFYI - CDC does not recommend retesting (including screening testing) individuals who do not have symptoms and had a positive test within 90 days of the initial testing date. Data currently suggest that some individuals who were previously infected with SARS-CoV-2 will continue to test positive due to residual virus material but are unlikely to be infectious. From CDC.gov. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/01/22 09:57 PM |
| 1 | Pain the Ass Child SupportSome states look at cash given directly to exwife as gifts, regardless of what is written in memo line. If you have the option, might be in best interest to go through state enforcement agency. Downside is it's garnished from your check, upside is she can't say she never received it. (I'm the exwife for full transparency.) As for revenge part, listen to the guys on here... make yourself the best version of you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/03/21 06:29 PM |
| 2 | wife is ruining me financially. i need adviceMake sure courts impute her income. Even for SAHM they should impute a full-time minimum wage. Will still be much less than what you make, but should help some. IRS rules are the person with the kid more can claim them, but you can define in your decree who gets who what years. IRS still won't care, but if she ignores, you can take her to court for contempt. Most states don't have a formula for alimony but instead award 1 year for every 3 years married. Long term marriages may award for more yea… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/02/21 06:21 PM |
| -1 | Alimony proposalMost states don't have alimony calculators like for child support, but married 10 years, 1 year for every 3 married is general. Longer marriages could result in 20+ years alimony. Average both salaries. What would make her even? Think of that as your worst case. If she agrees, you could also give up an asset in lieu of alimony. Under current tax law, you can deduct alimony on your taxes. Edit. Yes, sorry...Beg Jan 2019, payer is taxed, not receiver. Sorry all. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/20 02:32 AM |
| 2 | Poking Hole in CondomRUN! As far and fast as you can! | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/20 08:45 PM |
| 1 | Looking for adviceIf you want full custody, you will have to prove her unfit. Sadly, the courts most always want to defer custody to the mom when that's not always in best interest of kid. As others have said, document everything. Video, audio. Check to make sure your state is single consent so those can be admissible. Even with her wackiness and history of violence, it may be an uphill battle. Good luck man. Oh and as to how you move on? One second, one minute, one hour at a time. You can do it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/20 12:49 PM |
| 0 | Custody negotiations advice?Enforcement agency still has to follow court orders, no? I can see the judge allowing a modification of the court order if circumstances warranted - like she lost her job or had cancer and huge medical costs, but a "I changed my mind" is not material change. I don't support what she's asking. I think fathers should be in kids lives as much as possible. And parents (if able) should be flexible in visitation. More curious as to the legal aspect of it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/20 04:30 PM |
| 0 | Custody negotiations advice?If the agreement was incorporated into the divorce decree - actually stated and signed by judge, effectively making it a court order, could mom still go after child support at a later date (assuming status quo on all other things)? Not that I support the suggestion of mom, just curious. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/20 04:12 PM |
| 3 | What is it like initially filing on a SO?Texas is a community property state so any property acquired during marriage belongs to you both and must be split. Courts don't care whose name is on it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/20 04:23 PM |
| 3 | What is it like initially filing on a SO?Take cash out of your joint account as possible. $100 for a weekend, extra $20 with groceries, buy gift cards to use for gas/Target later. Freeze joint credit cards. Just because your name is on the account, does not make it yours. And just because her name is on the debt does not make it hers. Protect yourself as possible. If you have special possessions, move them to a friend or storage. And, please please READ and REREAD everything put before you to sign. If her attorney is writing things up … | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/20 04:20 PM |
| 3 | Wife of 12 Years Decided to End ItTreat it as a business decision; check any emotions at the door. Read and reread everything even if your attorney completes the forms. Don't feel pressured to sign anything you don't agree with or just to get it done. Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/20 09:54 PM |
| 4 | Need Advice. I'm going nuts.I put a tracker on my ex husbands car. It gave me answers. Do what you gotta do to find the closure you need. If you're ready to divorce, file. Debt can still be viewed as joint until date of filing. Worried she'll take all the joint money? Put it in an account she doesn't have access to and let it sit there. Lawyers can work out the split but at least you know it's safe and she's not spending it. Add a gift card or two to grocery shopping. Expense on statement is "grocery $125" with no details … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/19 05:24 PM |
| 3 | Pros & Cons of filing firstI second this. My atty drew up the papers and kept the ball going. May have cost me a little more, but to feel I had some control over the timing was nice. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/19 02:39 PM |
| 2 | Direct child support payments considered gifts?No... the OP was asking if checks directly to ex would be considered gifts. I was giving my personal example. A year before the divorce was final, we had temporary orders and my ex provided support via a check. Once our divorce was final, we were required to go through the state agency. The first few months they weren't garnishing his check and he was giving me checks directly. Since those checks didn't go through the state agency, the state agency did not record them as child support payments. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/10/19 03:25 PM |
| 1 | Michigan Dad QuestionsWouldn't he be setting himself up for even more years of alimony if they stay married? In addition to income, I thought alimony was based on years married. Also married longer would allow her to get more of his retirement. Get some consultations with some attorneys. If she wants out too and you are amicable, you may be able to do the paperwork yourself, saving thousands. If you have equity in the house, you may be able to use that so she doesn't get alimony or your retirement. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/10/19 02:17 PM |
| 3 | Direct child support payments considered gifts?For transparency, I'm the exwife. Once divorce was final, we were required to utilize the Ohio child support enforcement agency (CSEA). He paid CSEA, CSEA paid me. Any payment outside CSEA would be considered a gift. My ex paid via check the first couple months and CSEA did not count those and he was shown in arrears by their system. Together we went to our enforcement officer and filed some paperwork and the arrears were waived. If your payments are considered gifts by the agency and she refuse… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/10/19 02:04 PM |
| 1 | Child supportYou can request a modification to the state calculated support number. Write it into the agreement, judge should sign off on if you both agree. CS should be collected/distributed through state when possible otherwise even groceries and fuel can be seen as gifts to her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/19 04:13 PM |
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