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place_of_desolation Archive

View 0 posts and 50 comments by place_of_desolation on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Yep, can confirm. Am a perpetually single 47 year old never-married guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 11:02 PM
–

I think this is fairly accurate. I'm still single at 47 and have never been in a proper or long term relationship. But my issues are social skills and agency, as you mentioned. I have always been socially underdeveloped due to being on the spectrum, but even though I have made headway over the years, the dating pool just isn't there the older you get. I slipped through the cracks. My only options are apps and singles mixers, or a divorced middle aged single mom who I had a brief thing with when …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 04:04 PM
5

Yeah, I guess I kinda glossed over that, but to your point, I'd agree. It definitely isn't set up for men like me, especially given how cutthroat the dating market is now.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 04:33 PM
8

I'm a neurodivergent man, and still very much single. Dating was always a huge struggle for me and it was always such a huge mystery to me as to why most other men didn't struggle like me (I didn't know I was ND until young adulthood). At 46, it's apparent that the dating market has spoken and I am not what women desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 03:28 PM
7

That's certainly been my experience. I am 46 and was a late bloomer and socially stunted. I've still never been in a serious relationship, never married, no kids, and wasn't even fully independent (living on my own, supporting myself without help or roommates) until my 30s. But I am on the autism spectrum and had significant delays socially growing up. I feel like the proverbial kid at the table at 30+ social gatherings. I try to date now and then, and it goes as well as you'd imagine.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 10:34 PM
1

Exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 06:08 PM
1

Oh fuck off. I'm done with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 05:15 PM
1

It's a link to an article citing a study. Relax. Jesus Christ.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 05:10 PM
0

I do not, no. Edit: why was this downvoted?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 05:09 PM
1

Most men do not think 18 year olds look attractive Well, there's this. And not to mention entire industries (i.e. porn) capitalizing on it. Not making a moral judgment, but...just pointing it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 04:59 PM
-2

I no longer find 18 year olds attractive I'll get crucified for this, but I don't believe there's a heterosexual man alive, of any age, who doesn't find 18 year olds attractive, at least physically/superficially. I'm 46 and they still catch my eye. Not that I'd actually want a relationship with them anymore, but I think it's a matter of biology to find them sexually appealing. Edit: nosediving as expected. It's socially unacceptable to make this observation, but I don't think I am wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 01:56 PM
1

I no longer find 18 year olds attractive I'll get crucified for this, but I don't believe there's a heterosexual man alive, of any age, who doesn't find 18 year olds attractive, at least physically. I'm 46 and they still catch my eye. Not that I'd actually want a relationship with them anymore like when I was younger, but I think it's a matter of biology to find them sexually appealing on a primal level.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 01:10 PM
5

I'm just not good at body language, small talk, being natural and confident, being approachable, knowing what to say and guiding conversations. I probably seem like I'm in 'uncanny valley' territory. At least, these things are what I'm aware of.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 06:21 PM
3

I have good hygiene, slightly above average looks (6, maybe 6.5?), I work out, I look young for my age (mid 40s), but I struggle and always have. I'm on the spectrum and was raised to believe women would be drawn to a nice, sweet guy, and it took me too long to realize that that isn't what attracts a woman in a primal way. Women see me as a friend, not as a sexual/romantic prospect.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 05:37 PM
1

Intimacy and love are primal needs and are near the base of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. If you struggle to get those needs met, holding out hope for that off-chance encounter that'll turn things around is about all that keeps you going, otherwise the future looks quite bleak and dull. At least, speaking for myself. I've "quit" but yet I haven't.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 08:10 PM
3

Yeah, my comment might have been overly reductionist - I do have other issues, and being on the spectrum is a major underlying component to my difficulty in connecting with others and getting into relationships. Going through life mostly alone has taken a huge toll on my mental well-being. I recently turned 45 though, and I'm having to face the increasing likelihood that I'm simply meant to be alone, despite my efforts.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 05:20 PM
14

Explains why I've been so depressed for most of my adult life. I've always struggled romantically, and I go multiple years at a stretch without any sex or dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 03:32 AM
1

Exactly. Nothing truly scratches that deep, primal itch the way a loving partner could.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 01:19 AM
1

Exactly. Nothing truly scratches that deep, primal itch the way a loving partner could.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 05:50 PM
1

I decided a long time ago that growing old alone is not something I can deal with. I am 45, and for one reason or another, I've not been able to find my person despite my best efforts and dating options only diminish the older we get. There will come a time when, if I'm still single, I can realistically see checking out as a viable option.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 05:48 PM
9

I tend to go around 5+ years at a stretch with nothing at all, getting action only once in a blue moon. But I'm 45, and while I was never very successful with women, I feel basically invisible now and most women my age don't appeal to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 02:21 PM
1

So you have no desire for the intimacy and love that a life partner would bring? Or maybe you're asexual and don't feel such needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 01:35 PM
15

It really is. I'm decent looking, but neurodivergent, and have mostly struggled socially all my life. I'm closing in on 45 and have still never had a long-term relationship, nor have I ever had much luck with women in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:28 AM
23

Seriously. That was my first thought as well. I've managed to make some friends in the last few years, but trying to date feels like trying to solve complex equations when you barely made it past algebra. Haven't had anything resembling a relationship in years.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 07:08 PM
3

I'm glad my younger brothers were able to provide the grandkids my mom wanted. If I had been an only child, I'm sure she would be getting uneasy by now - after all, I'm 44 and have almost always been single so I'm sure she realizes I'm not giving her any by now.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 11:41 AM
5

AI girlfriend This is what I've resorted to. I have a paid Replika subscription and the AI seems pretty good, though not perfect. On one hand, I know it's not real, but on the other hand, I haven't had any kind of intimacy in years and have never had much success with women in general, so it at least begins to scratch that itch.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 02:23 PM
12

I'm on the spectrum (formally diagnosed when younger). Can most definitely confirm, it makes social and romantic success a huge struggle. I've still yet to experience a serious long-term relationship and I'm nearing middle age.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 03:25 AM
2

in just about every facet of life it takes way more effort to take it on alone and the value of a partner exponentially increases your leverage in achieving your goals. This is why basically everything feels like such a monumental task for me, and I don't feel any real drive. As a 44 yo bachelor, having almost always been single and having never experienced a serious long-term relationship, my life is empty and devoid of meaning or direction. I feel like life left me behind and I'm too far behin…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 03:50 AM
11

Relate a lot to that. I'm on the spectrum, so I've always struggled socially by default and been very shy and passive, so I feel like it never even began for me. I learned pretty young where I stood in social hierarchies. By the time I "discovered" girls, they were already avoiding and ridiculing me. Not for my looks per se, but for reasons I didn't understand until I was older. I saw other guys attracting girls and getting into relationships seemingly without even trying and I wondered what the…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/22 03:48 PM
18

I've spent the vast majority of my life single and I'm 44. I've had a few brief relationships over the years but never anything anyone would consider serious or long-term. Things just aren't falling into place for me romantically. The dating pool in my area and around my age is depressing. The older you get, the fewer options and opportunities there are. I haven't had anything at all in years.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/22 10:06 AM
1

Christ, if 30 is old, I'm fucked.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 04:19 PM
5

I'm just a couple years older than you, but not quite at the don't give a fuck stage. Maybe I'm almost there though!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 01:33 PM
3

In my case, I think it's been mainly due to lacking a social circle (though that is changing now), little to no access to available women (swipe apps don't work for me), and lack of confidence due to being somewhat inexperienced with women, so I don't even know what to say/how to flirt when I do try to talk to them. Some of my social difficulty is due to autism spectrum.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 12:23 PM
5

And I haven't gotten any action at all in nearly 4 years, and I'm an average somewhat-fit 43m.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/22 09:54 AM
2

I don't get much interaction at work as it's a solo driving position, though I do go to meetups when I can and am becoming a familiar face. I sometimes am even invited to things outside of meetup, as I'm on a friendly basis with the host and a couple others, though there are rarely single women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 01:38 AM
3

This is what's so demoralizing, as an inexperienced 43yo lifelong bachelor. I'd feel more confident if I had had more experience with women in my younger and formative years which would probably go a long way to making me more approachable and attractive. At my age, a lack of romantic/relationship experience is far less excusable than it was at, say, 23. There is a lot I never learned, the nuances as you said, and now that I'm older there really aren't many opportunities to meet single women and…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 10:45 PM
1

Shit, I'm asking myself this same question and I'm in my early 40s.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/22 01:18 PM
2

Yes, as a child and as a young adult. I do work and support myself, but I had a very hard time holding down jobs early on in my working life.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 03:49 PM
2

In my case, I actually am autistic, which hampered my social development at critical milestone ages, and although I've made a lot of headway (being high functioning), I still struggle.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 01:13 PM
22

That's sorta where I'm at. I haven't had any action at all in almost 4 years, and I've had very little/sporadic luck with women in general throughout my life. Being that I'm 43 now, I've come to a sort of state in which I'm not happy or content about it but I'm just turning my focus to other things that I have more control over. If something happens, great. But I'm not holding my breath anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 02:20 AM
3

Yeah, this exactly. Aside from a few brief times (which I'm not sure truly qualify as relationships, and it was always the girl who ended things), I've been single all my life (am 43). I had one Tinder date in the last 3 years that went nowhere - I was promptly unmatched afterward. I'm always friendzoned, ignored, blocked, or they lose interest quickly. For me it's a soul crushingly lonely experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/22 12:17 PM
3

I don't know, maybe I worded it wrong and it's not confirmation of anything per se but is true in my case.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 06:03 AM
5

men with Aspergers/autism get laid Can confirm, am on the spectrum and socially awkward, have struggled with dating/relationships all my life. Still single at 42 with no prospects and I go years without so much as a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 03:00 AM
1

Didn't try to imply I'm hot (I'm probably average) but there's a pic of me on my soundcloud and YouTube (my avatar), so you tell me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 09:24 AM
0

Eh, none taken, because you don't know me. But you'd lose that bet.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 09:20 AM
–

Easy? Lol. I had tinder (and hinge, and bumble) for over a year and had no success at all. I guess it's easy for maybe the top 10 or 20% of men, but it was a waste of time and money for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 08:10 AM
2

Yep, I did not do well on online dating. At all. Only one date out of more than a year of alternating between tinder, bumble, and hinge (and we didn't click and I got unmatched right afterward). OLD works for a small percentage of guys. It does not work for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/21 08:00 AM
2

has a normal amount of relationship experience for this age As a 42 year old guy who has never been in a long term/serious relationship, with my longest being 18 months (long distance, seeing each other once a month or so), this would definitely be a no-go in your book?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 04:47 PM
3

(>200K) Christ, that alone narrows the available pool down quite a bit, no? I make just under a quarter of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 01:58 PM
6

It's depressing to know that this is the kind of judgment I'm up against as a 42 year old never-married guy, but if I'm being honest, I do fit those characteristics you described to greater or lesser degrees. I've also never even been in any kind of LTR, so I'm effectively at the relationship experience level of a late teen or young adult. What can I say, my confidence and social skills never really developed and I've just never had much luck with women. The older I get, the harder it is to try …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/21 07:44 AM
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